A TWIST OF FATE
Chapter Ten
If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
Scott walked out of the room and leaned his back against the wall as he took a moment to calm down and collect his thoughts.
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
Why was Jean doing this? He only wanted her to be happy. But he knew she wasn't truly happy with Warren. She was happy with him. How could he forget that? How could he forget the day when he proposed to her and she had told him those exact words. He couldn't forget that.
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
She had told him what she wanted, she had made her intentions very clear. She made it clear that it wasn't him she wanted, and he'd have to respect that. Jean was a complicated personality, but she had finally figured out what she wanted out of her life and it was no longer him.
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?
Jean slumped to the floor, her back against the wall. She had tried so hard not to break down in front of Scott, but she finally had had enough of the facades of trying to make everyone believe she was strong. She just couldn't take it anymore.
I never know what the future brings
She didn't know what it was inside her that was so desperately fighting to stay away from Scott. Maybe she was afraid that history would repeat itself.
But I know you are here with me now
She loved Warren, she did, but when she was with Scott everything changed. She felt comfortable and safe.
We'll make it through
But maybe deep down she doubted. A relationship takes so much more than love to work. And maybe she just didn't think they'd work through it.
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
She had always wanted Scott to be the one. The one that she loved and the one that she spent her life with, but now she wasn't so sure. With all they had been through maybe it was time to just let that go.
I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
She didn't see it as running away from anything. She had accepted the fact that Warren would make her happy, she really felt that she loved him.
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Jean was so confused. She loved Warren yes, but she knew deep in her heart that she could only love one man.
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
But was that man Warren or Scott?
If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
Completely exhausted of everything, she buried her head in her hands and in the solace of the darkened room, she finally allowed herself to cry.
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
Scott just kept replying the last moments of their conversation in his head. He didn't understand it. He knew he had hurt Jean in the past and he didn't want to do it again. But he couldn't stop thinking about her.
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
He walked to the kitchen and dug out a small velvet box from his pocket setting it on the table. He turned around the chair and sat on it, his front to the back of the chair, and rested his arms against the head of the chair.
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?
He opened the lid on the box and stared at the contents inside. He rested his chin against the back of the chair as he stared at the diamond ring.
He had called her wife once. She had been his. He wanted that again. He wanted to be able to wake up besides her every morning, wrap his arms around her, and whisper in her ear, with a contented smile, "Good morning, Mrs. Summers."
I don't know why you're so far away
He had screwed up, majorly screwed up. He let her get away, he watched as she left his life forever and he allowed that to happen. He didn't want to make that mistake again, and apparently Jean didn't either. She was distancing herself as far from him as possible.
But I know that this much is true, We'll make it through
There was still so much between them but even now he knew that something was still there, something still clicked inside him everytime she was around. As long as he was living, it wouldn't stop. He couldn't stop loving her.
They could make it work again, it would take some hard work on his part, but they could do it again, he was so convinced. They could make it past this, they could make it through and come away stronger. He was convinced of that.
And I hope you are the one I share my life with, and I wish that you could be the one I die with
Looking at the ring he had to wonder why he ever let her go. She was all he wanted. He wanted just to be with her, to be near her. It hurt when he thought that it wasn't just a dream, a fleeting hope. He had had her life, he had her dreams, her love, he had her. She was his wife. He had everything of her. He had all he had ever wanted.
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with
Maybe one day they could have it back. Maybe on day they could get back what it had took only moments to devastate. They could have a marriage, Maybe even a family, they were still young, they could get it all back again. He wanted that, she wanted that…just not with him.
I hope I love you all my life
She was the love of his life. He had made a promise to her on their wedding day, to love her forever. He still held true to that promise. Even if it's the only vow he kept.
I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
Everything in him wanted to fight back. He knew Jean loved him, so why not fight to make her see that? But just like her, he didn't need to fight, and he wouldn't. She had made her choice.
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
She couldn't see what he saw in the future. She couldn't believe that there was still hope for them. That they belonged together. She didn't see that. But he did. No matter how many times she convinced herself that she loved Warren, she would always love him, and maybe one day she'd realize that.
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
He wished that things had turned out differently, that none of this would've happened. That he could wake up and just forget it all. He wished that he had been strong enough to hold onto her. He was now, but it was all too little, too late.
'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
He frowned and stared at the ring. He remember vividly the day he had given it to her. In Ororo's Rose Garden. One of the best days of his life. He was so happy and she had been ecstatic. He sighed as the memory faded. He missed her so much already. He missed everything about her.
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
By holding onto the ring, he was holding onto a part of Jean, a part of himself. He was holding onto a future that he so desperately wanted back.
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
He had held onto the ring ever since the day she had thrown it at him, ever since she had left. He realized now that Kurt was right. Being married to Jean had meant something so deeply to him that he just couldn't let it go.
And though I can't be with you tonight
But he would have to let it go, he would have to let everything go. He would have to let Jean go. He couldn't hold onto her, to a future that was never meant to be and never would be.
And know my heart is by your side
Jean wanted to be happy, she wanted her life back. If she wanted to spend it with Warren than he would stay out of the way, he wouldn't interfere. For her sake and for her happiness he would have to sacrifice everything that had ever meant something to him.
"Hey Scott. Ve are almost ready to go. Ze flight has been delayed but by ze time ve get up zere, it should be ready to depart." Kurt said bamfing in.
He looked Scott over. "You don't look too good, mien fraud. Are you okay?"
"I'll be fine."
"Oh man, does zis have to do vith Jean?"
Scott nodded smugly. "She chose Warren."
"Varren? But can't she ze zet you love her?"
"She knows. But she made her choice. I don't want to interfere with that."
"But zis means you'd have to zacrifice everyzing zet you ever wanted."
"I know."
"So zis means you're gonna let her go?"
"I have to. She doesn't want to have anything to do with me."
"I zought za you veren't gonna let her go zis time."
"I wasn't. But I can't do anything about it. She's just protecting herself, Kurt. She doesn't want history to repeat itself."
"And you're just gonna let her go? Just like zat? You're gonna run away because she zays so."
"What other choice do I have?"
"You can fight, man!"
"No. No I can't. I've been fighting for way too long. Sooner or later I'll have to give up."
"The Scott I know vouldn't give up just like that."
"Well I than that you don't know me as well as you think you do."
Scott shut the lid on the small case and scooped the box up in his hand as he stooped up.
"Vill you be alright?"
Scott nodded. "I dunno, but eventually yeah."
"Vell everyvone is vaiting for us." Kurt offered.
"Bamf us out captain."
In a ring of dust and brimstone the two disappeared from the kitchen.
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I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I could stay in your arms?
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Two Chapters to go! Is this the end of Jott? Hmmm...
I know this chap was a little different than the rest, but it's the only one like this honest! It's kinda like a songfic! But that was delibrite! I just heard this song one day on the radio and thought it would fit this fic almost perfectly. And it did, almost perfectly. I also found this song very sad in a sweet, sweet way. But that's just for me.
The words in BOLD and italics is lyrics of the song; © 'If You're Not The One' by Artist Daniel Bedingfield.
Next Chap Jean finally chooses between Scott and Warren! With a little help from a friend. Which one will it be? Isn't it obvious? Well okay maybe it's not.