Chapter 1- Collisions (i.e. the catalyst of all catalysts)

Today was the day that Spike had been waiting for for three long years. He was sitting at a small round table in the middle of the rundown Lafferty Street Bar, counting down the minutes until his sons would come back from their god forsaken universes. Spike began to tap his foot impatiently, he had said the magic words and lit the bunch of herbs that he had acquired and now all he had to do was wait; and that was proving to be the hard part.

Looking at the long forgotten clock on the wall, Spike smirked eagerly as the minute hand tick closer to the twelve. The omnipresent hum of the nearly empty bar was broken by the crackling sound of energy and a brilliant white light which the two patrons and bartender ignored. All of a sudden there were three blonde haired, blue eyed young men sprawled in a heap on the sticky floor of the Lafferty Street Bar.

The three boys hastily separated themselves from their tangled mass and quickly looked around with their attention finally landing on the smug looking man standing over them with his arms folded. Spike smirked at them and said, "Welcome home boys."

They all looked at him, confused as to what they were doing there and what the man in front of them was going on about. Dally was the first to get his wits about him, stood up and asked Spike accusingly, "What am I doing here, how did I get here and who the hell are you?" Dally accentuated his last point by poking Spike threateningly in the chest.

"Look my boy," said Spike, holding his hands up as if surrendering. "There's no need to get antsy with me."

Draco, who had gotten up during the exchange rounded on Spike and said, "Yes, there bloody well is something to get antsy about! I was just about to meet Granger when all of a sudden I'm apparated, against my will, into some stinking bar full of muggles. So yes, there is something to get antsy about."

"What are you talking about?" Dally asked, obviously confused at Draco's unusual choice of words.

Draco opened his mouth to reply but was cut off by Spike. "Look, sit down and I'll explain. You," growled Spike at Ariel, who was still sitting on the floor, stunned, "get off the floor and sit at the table." At the sound of Spike's uncompromising tone Ariel scrambled off the floor and into a seat at the small round table which Spike was sitting at earlier.

Spike took his seat at the table with them and looked around at his blonde haired sons, who each wore clothes from their previous homes. Ariel was wearing some sack-like thing that looked like a monk's habit, Draco was wearing a messy school uniform with what looked like a bath robe over the top of it and then there was Dally, who was by far the most normal looking of the lot, wearing jeans, a t-shirt and boots.

Spike realised he was staring when Dally said to him, "Well, are you gonna explain now or what?"

"Yes, I will." Spike leant back in his chair and smirked at them. "You see, you three boys are my sons, and I am obviously your father."

"Are you kidding me?" was Dally's immediate disbelieving response.

Spike simply smirked at him while Draco was shooting looks at him that screamed 'you need help'. Ariel simply looked confused, still in a state of shock from his sudden appearance in the bar.

Draco, being the trouble maker that he was decided to humour him. "So, you're saying that we are your sons?"

"Well, yeah," said Spike plainly. "And you haven't heard the best part yet."

Dally nodded and said sarcastically, "Yeah? And what may that be?"

"Your mother and I are both vampires." Spike, upon seeing Draco's steadily whitening face and vague look of horror, said somewhat reassuringly, "I won't bite.well, not you lot anyway."

Dally still looked at him disbelievingly. "You expect us," said Dally with a note of doubt in his voice, "to believe not only that you are our father, but that you are a vampire as well?"

"Well what other explanation is there? What? You reckon that you just magically fell out of the bleeding sky? Well, actually, you sorta did, but that's not the point, I got you here because I'm a vampire and you lot are my sons," said Spike, emphasising his points with a few finger points here and there.

"Haven't you ever heard of apparating?" asked Draco incredulously. At the shake of Spike's head Draco heaved a sigh and rolled his eyes skyward. "And you call yourself a vampire, but then again that's what you get for living with muggles for so long."

Dally frowned and asked Draco curiously, "You actually believe that there are vampires?"

"Well, there are vampires, don't you know anything?" was Draco's nonchalant reply.'

"Of course I don't, I'm not some nutter like you two," said Dally, gesturing wildly at Draco and Spike.

Ariel, who had so far been silently observing the proceedings spoke up suddenly, "What's a vampire?"

Spike's patience was tried and tested and had failed, so instead of answering Ariel's question he morphed into his vampire face and said to the three boys in front of him, "One of these."

Dally let out a yell and scramble away from the table with Draco by his side. Ariel frowned, cocked his head to the side and said, "Oh."

Spike was a bit taken back by Ariel's disconcerned attitude, but ignored it, figuring that he did, after all, come from a different universe. He then turned his attention to the two stunned boys standing up. "Do you believe me now?"

They both nodded faintly.

Are you gonna take a seat fellas? Or are you just going to stand there forever?"

Draco and Dally resumed their seats at the table as Spike resumed his human face. Well, now that Spike had got the message across that, yes, he was their biological father, what do you do? Spike began by giving each of his sons a clip over the head.

"What the hell did you do that for?" asked Draco defensively.

Spike smirked and said simply, "I've always wanted to do that." Dally shook his head din annoyance whilst Ariel looked at Spike, confused.

Since this was not a happy feel-good movie, the reunited family did not begin talking and laughing as if they'd known each other for their entire lives. Instead, they all took the lapse in action as a chance to size each other up properly.

Draco began to systematically examine his new 'family' in the manner which he had adopted from Lucius Malfoy. He watched Ariel in his weird clothes and decided to leave him be; he was looking decidedly homicidal today. Draco smirked as he looked at his brother Dally. Dally had a tough demeanour, sharp eyes and most importantly, he was imposing, which always came in handy for those physical confrontations. Finally, Draco studied his father, who looked every bit the tough, British hooligan that he was; Draco could tell that his new family was all someone blonde haired, blue eyed and evil as he was ever wanted.

Then something hit Draco, his brothers were muggles and his father was a vampire. He was a mudblood. With this revelation Draco's face paled and his eyes widened. Spike, seeing that Draco was having some sort of panic attack, slammed his palms on the table, breaking the silence that had reigned supreme for the last few minutes.

"Well," he said, "now that we're acquainted with each other, I think we should go and visit one of my dearest friends, Uncle Angel."

So, the family of blonde haired blue eyed evil people se off into the polluted LA night in search of their dearly unbeloved Uncle Angel.