December approaches, full of happiness and good cheer that rubs off on my
mood as I walk downstairs to find Frank preparing for another party.
Magenta and Riff-Raff are beginning to set up the ballroom, and he's
sitting in his throne watching them and giving them suggestions. Ignoring
Magenta and Riff-Raff, I walk over to him. "Hey, Frankie. There a party
tonight?" I sit on one of the arms of the throne, draping my arm around the
back and suddenly coming to a realization as a smile spreads across my
face. "Of course there's a party tonight!" I exclaim, feeling dense cause
I didn't realize before. "It's nearly Christmas!"
I never was religious, don't get me wrong, but I always looked forward to Christmastime. It was a time when I could shine, a time of happiness and peace. The spirit of the season really got to me. However, it doesn't seem the spirit of the season has even introduced itself to Frankie. "Christmas?" His face is blank, as if he hasn't heard of Christmas.
"Yeah, Christmas," I say, teasing him a little. "Don't tell me... you haven't heard of Christmas!" Frank looks genuinely lost. Magenta and Riff- Raff turn to watch this, looking as if they expect something really funny to happen.
"Oh. Where I come from, we don't celebrate Christmas," Frank says, faltering.
"Where do you come from that you've never heard of Christmas?" I reply, trying to hide a giggle from behind my hand.
"It's a... very small, small country. You've probably never heard of it," Frank says, almost a little too quickly, as if he's covering for something. Magenta and Riff-Raff are glancing at each other almost nervously. They look panicked, even. That's strange; what's the big deal about where they're from? Is it some big super-secret or something? I'm about to say something, ask them why it's such a big deal, but Magenta cuts me off before I can start talking, looking a little urgent as she interrupts me. Soon, though, the urgency fades and Magenta's usual disinterested attitude comes through.
"Well, Columbia, tell us about Christmas then," Magenta articulates, taking a sarcastic tone as she puts down the streamer she was holding and crossing her arms.
"Whaddya wanna know 'bout it?" I ask cheerfully, hoping they won't ask me any religious questions as I'm certainly not fit to answer those and never have been, probably never will be.
"Anything," Magenta says, challenging me with a hint of a smirk appearing on her red, red lips.
"Well, all right then," I start, re-adjusting my position on the arm of Frank's throne and letting the words fly out of my mouth, getting more enthused by the second, my childish love for the holiday showing through. "So, every December, people celebrate Christmas. It's on the twenty-fifth. There's some big religious meaning behind it, but many people ignore that part and just celebrate the fun parts. See, there's a guy called Santa Clause, and he brings the kids presents if they're good. Families go to tree farms and cut down evergreen trees, which they put up in their houses and decorate with all sorts of ornaments and lights. People put Christmas lights on their houses too, some people even have lit-up statues and stuff in their front yards. Then Santa puts presents under the tree and everyone buys presents for each other too. And everyone makes gingerbread houses and eats candy canes and drinks eggnog. And everyone sings Christmas songs like Jingle Bells and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. And if you're lucky it snows and you can make snowmen and snow angels. It's just a general time of celebration and happiness. And see, Santa has these elves up in the North Pole who help him with the presents, and then there's the Sugarplum Faerie, who brings joy and good cheer to the hearts of many, and- "
Magenta stops me. "It sounds so... light." I've never heard Christmas described that way. Light. When you think about it that way, I guess it is. There are certainly lots of lights, on the trees and houses and lawns...
"I guess so," I reply. Neither Magenta nor Riff-Raff seems excited by the concept, but Frank's eyes are gleaming, clearly loving the idea of Christmas.
"Christmas, hmm?" he says, thinking. "Columbia, see if you can't help Magenta and Riff-Raff find some Christmas decorations around. Tonight we will have a Christmas party!" I let out a short, excited squeal, kiss Frankie quickly on the cheek, then rush upstairs to get dressed before it can turn into anything more. Magenta and Riff-Raff seem less than thrilled with this idea, lagging behind to have a talk with Frank, but I don't catch any of it. I love Christmas so much. Christmas is such a great time of the year...
In my excitement, I select a red dress with long sleeves, a short skirt, and silver sparkles to wear for the day ahead. Very Christmasy. Eventually, I hear Magenta and Riff-Raff come upstairs, whispering to each other. As I brush my hair, I dance around my room singing "Jingle Bells" in my high-pitched voice. When I finish "Jingle Bells" I start singing "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree", shuffling my feet and raising my head to the ceiling in song. I go through all of the upbeat Christmas tunes, straight from "Rudolph" to "Santa Baby". I lose track of time and the next thing I know I find Magenta and Riff-Raff at my door watching me belt out "Frosty the Snowman" into my hairbrush and twirling in circles. When I see them standing there, I quickly drop the brush and turn a shade of red rivaling my hair.
"All ready to go?" I ask chirpily, pretending they didn't just catch me acting so silly. They glance at each other, Magenta rolling her eyes at my enthusiasm. I honestly don't think Magenta likes me very much; just the way she acts towards me, so indifferent and unapproachable. I guess that's just the way she is... Actually, on second thought, she doesn't seem to like ANYONE very much, except Riff-Raff. There's something going on between those two, I just know it. The way they're almost always together, exchanging looks and sometimes I'll catch them doing this weird thing with their elbows when they think I'm not watching...
Ignoring Magenta's general disdain for the Christmas season – and my getting into it – I stroll out of my room and down the stairs, waiting at the bottom for them to catch up to me, humming "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas" all the while, a grin spreading across my face.
"Where are we gonna get the decorations?" I ask, wondering if by some odd twist of fate they might have some mistletoe and tinsel lying around somewhere, unused. Magenta and Riff-Raff look at each other. "Well, first things first, we need a tree! Are there any evergreens around here?" Neither of them seems to know, so I take matters into my own hands. Thinking for a moment, I begin to come up with an idea. "Okay then, Riffy, why dontcha go look outside and see if you can find one, and then you can bring it back into the ballroom." Riff-Raff does not seem to like being called 'Riffy'. I just giggle, making a mental note to call him 'Riffy' more often, just cause it's so funny to see how he reacts. With an agitated expression on his face, he heads outside. "All right, do you have any mistletoe around here?" I ask Magenta. She shakes her head. "Um, any garlands?" She shakes her head again. "Wreaths? Lights? Anything?"
When it becomes clear that there is nothing of any Christmastime value at the castle, I decide there's only one thing to do. "Hey, Frankie?" I ask as I approach his throne, where he's still sitting. "'Genta and I need some Christmas decorations for the party tonight. Do you know anywhere we might be able to find any? Are there any little convenience stores or anything near here? At all?" This seems like a fairly stupid question, since the castle is basically in the middle of nowhere, but it's the best option we've got.
"Convenience stores? No," Frank says, thinking. Gosh, he's so cute when he's thinking... the absorbed expression on his face that says he's deeply pondering something, his painted ebony eyebrows arching and furrowing, his index finger tapping his chin thoughtfully. I just watch him think for a minute, smiling at him. And then I have an idea.
"Frankie? I'll be right back. I'm gonna go phone Eddie and see if he can swing by with some stuff."
Leaving Frank and Magenta in the ballroom, I run upstairs to my bedroom, where what I take is the only telephone in the house is, since not once have I heard anyone else even mention needing one, and dial up Eddie's number. I know it by heart, but he's so rarely ever there. The phone rings. "Ah, hello?" Eddie's voice says groggily on the other line. "Hiya, Eddie! Did I wake you up?" I ask cheerfully.
"Huh, ah, no, no, I'm fine." He sounds like he might be a little hung- over, like he was out late last night boozing and carousing. I always worry about him when he goes out like that. He doesn't seem to know when to quit drinking sometimes, and he'll get in fights with other guys and get all bruised up. Sometimes he comes by after he gets in a fight so I can make him feel better, pampering him with shoulder rubs and kisses.
I smile thinking about it. "You comin' to the party tonight?" Silly question, he always does, sometimes staying in one of the guest bedrooms overnight afterwards, more recently me sometimes staying with him.
"Course I am, C'lumbia, course I am." He sounds like he just got out of bed, no matter what he says.
"Hey, listen, you celebrate Christmas, right?"
This question seems to surprise him. "Uh, I guess so," he replies, seeming unsure of my intentions.
"Good. Wouldja mind dropping by a little before the party with some Christmas decorations? Nothin' fancy, just some lights, some wreaths, some tinsel." I can imagine the confused look on his face, the inevitable question of why. Coaxingly, I continue, "See, Frankie doesn't have any Christmas stuff layin' around, and I so desperately want to have a Christmas party." I know by playing the little oh-please-please-pretty- please-with-a-cherry-on-top act I'll get him to give in. It always works.
"Fine," he says, pretending it's some huge burden. It really isn't, since he is supposed to be a delivery boy and everything.
"Thanks a bunch, Eddie!" I exclaim cheerfully. "See ya before the party." I pause, then quickly and flirtatiously whisper, "And maybe after too!" then hang up. I saunter downstairs and back into the ballroom, ready to tell Frankie what the plan is. Riff-Raff has returned with the Christmas tree and they're trying to figure out a way to get it to stay standing up straight. I try to stifle a giggle over their efforts with the evergreen as I make my way over to where Frank is still sitting, propping my arm on the back of his throne and talking to him. "Eddie said he'd bring by some decorating stuff before the party, so we just need to figure out some stuff for the tree," I state happily. Frank nods indifferently before turning his attention to where Riff-Raff and Magenta are struggling with the Christmas tree, annoyance written on his face, I suppose wondering why they can't just figure it out as he clearly expects them to be able to do.
After a while, Riff-Raff and Magenta are still having problems, so assuming I know what to do, Frank turns to me, saying, "Please, go give them a hand." I agree to do so, and he approves by kissing my cheek and neck. As I move and he kisses his way down my arm and to my hand, I blow a kiss back at him with my free hand and approach Riff-Raff and Magenta. It's almost funny how they haven't even thought about getting a tree stand or anything. It's like they expect the tree to just stay in place without anything to support it at all.
"D'ya have a tree stand?" I ask them innocently. They look at each other, then back at me with unreadable expressions. Riff starts walking out of the room, to where I suppose they have something to use as a tree stand. Grinning, I wave good-bye like a little kid and say, "Good luck, Riffy!" He cringes at the name and I laugh, turning to where Magenta stands, holding up the tree. "You don't have anything we could use as ornaments, do ya?" Magenta thinks about this for a moment.
"Well..." she seems to be deep in thought, although not completely seriously. "No." Why am I not surprised?
"Don't have anything we could make into ornaments? Some medallions, maybe, or little charms?" Magenta shoots me a look like, are you kidding me? Do we really seem like that kind of people? I don't have to think for a minute about what to do. "All right. You must have some ribbons somewhere, right?" Magenta looks perplexed, but nods. "Where are they?"
"Upstairs in the hall closet," Magenta replies, looking at me like I'm crazy from underneath her heavily made-up eyelids.
"Show me," I demand. Gingerly leaning the tree up against a table, she leads me upstairs without saying anything, stopping in the hallway at a door that she opens to reveal all sorts of odds and ends. I reach in and grab a box full of ribbons and then some glue that's almost too conveniently sitting next to it. "Thanks, Mags," I say, smiling widely as I head down the hall to my bedroom. I can hear her groans over the nickname I've given her as I shut the door and set the box down on my vanity table.
I open my drawer and take out one of my makeup boxes, the one with all of the empty ones, or the ones I never use. Turning on my record player, I bop my head and sing to my records absentmindedly as I glue ribbons to each individual lipstick and eyeliner, each blusher and nail polish. Slowly I turn my left-over makeup into Christmas ornaments, putting them in the ribbon-box when I'm done with them. The tree Riff found was pretty big, so I make sure to use every single rejected cosmetic for my enterprise. When I'm done, I take the box full of beauty products-turned-ornaments and head back downstairs, where I discover they've found a way to keep the tree standing.
"Hey, hey, lookin' great, Riffy!" I say approvingly, setting the box down and beginning to hang the decorations on the tree. Magenta and Riff-Raff look strangely at my discarded make-up as I hang each one of them carefully, spacing them out so there's enough room for the lights Eddie's gonna bring. Once I'm done, I step back to admire my work. It doesn't look half bad, for being no more than a bunch of leftover cosmetics hastily glued to ribbons hung on a tree, hoping they can pass for Christmas ornaments.
Frank rises from his throne, where he's been watching the whole endeavor, and comes over to stand by me, acting as if he's interested in the decorations. Within seconds, though, he's wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me into an embrace. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Magenta and Riff-Raff sneak off quietly, whispering to each other with hints of smiles on their faces and gleams in their eyes, but I stop paying attention when Frank draws me closer, sending me into a bliss-filled sensual paradise, kissing me on my neck my lips and anywhere else he can get to. We fall against the table, his arms around me as we kiss and then more than just kissing and oh my goodness passion infatuation obsession kisses compliments lust thrills excitement passion love love love. It's like the Beatles said. "All you need is love." With Frankie it's true. He seems to not be able to keep his hands off of me, almost as if it's all he cares about. Not my mind, not my heart, just my body... but at the same time, it's not as if I'm really much better. I don't stop him... I like him kissing me seducing me loving me. I don't want him to stop. It's just so amazing...
We're rocketed out of our stimulation by the sound of a ringing doorbell. "Eddie's here!" I call out, sitting up straight, sliding off the table, straightening my dress and smoothing down my hair. Riff-Raff appears out of nowhere to open the door, looking slightly tousled. I see Frank looking full of distaste at the mention of Eddie, but I push it out of my mind as he steps in the door, toting four bags full of Christmas decorations. Riff- Raff takes one bag, Magenta materializes as she so often does and carries another, her poufy hair mussed and her lipstick slightly smudged, causing me to wonder about exactly what she and Riffy might've been doing, Eddie keeps one for himself and I grab the last one, dancing into the ballroom with it.
"Look what Eddie brought!" I sing out childishly, tossing the bag on a table and opening it. I take out its' contents, several boxes full of twinkle lights. "Hey, Riffy, wouldja be a dear and hang these up around the house?" I say, throwing him the boxes so he has no choice. He grumbles, but starts to hang the lights up anyway. "Mags, could ya help me with some of this tinsel?" Looking appalled at the very thought of tinsel, she takes one end as I take the other and we pin it to the wall. We repeat this process until the ballroom and the entry hall are absolutely covered with the stuff. Eddie hangs all of the other decorations, the mistletoe and such. When I approach him, meaning to ask his opinion on the tinsel, he drags me under a sprig of mistletoe and kisses me full-on, shoving his tongue through my lips and causing me to squeal just a little bit with delight. Immediately I'm hoping Frankie's not watching as I return Eddie's kiss, my lips softly caressing his.
Once we're finished kissing, Eddie reaches into his bag and pulls out one last item: a furry red Santa hat. He shoves it on my head and I adjust it at a tilted angle, laughing. "How do I look?" I say, striking a pose like a pinup girl. Eddie hugs me and kisses me again in response. I return his kiss – the second in the space of roughly two minutes – and then ease away jovially, feeling a twinge of guilt as I see Frankie looking at us out of the corner of my eye. Oh, I wish it didn't have to be like this...
Not wanting to think about it, I start to walk up the stairs to touch up my makeup, finding Riff-Raff attempting to wind twinkle lights around the banister and complaining to himself. Twittering, I skip down the hall and into my room and I re-apply my eyeliner and lipstick, trying to erase my thoughts of guilt over kissing Eddie so openly right in front of Frank and replace them with happy Christmastime thoughts. I absolutely will not let my remorse ruin the Christmas season. Nope, nope, nope.
It doesn't take me too long, but by the time I'm done there are already guests arriving for the party. There's a group of guests by the door and I manage to make a grand entrance down the stairs, smiling and flirting and attracting perusals from many of them, thoroughly enjoying the spotlight and attention. I guess I'm histrionic at heart.
When I get to the bottom of the stairs, I spot Frankie waiting for me. He kisses my neck and greets me with a warm hello that practically melts the ice coating the landscape. Taking my hand, he leads me into the ballroom and over to a very tall rectangular box wrapped in purple paper with silver ribbon. "Ooh, for me?" I croon, genuinely surprised. Frank never seemed like the gift-giving type, but I suppose I must've been wrong.
He nods and I head for the box, gently tugging on the silver ribbon until it unravels in a neat heap on the floor and delicately slicing the wrapping paper with a red-lacquered fingernail. Once the wrapping paper is removed, the box seems to come apart of its' own free will, revealing a bright blue slightly space-age square jukebox. "Wow, Frankie, thanks!" Childishly, I hug him around the neck, my right foot popping into the air. He seems almost taken aback by my reaction, as if he was expecting something different, less innocent perhaps. Not surprisingly, he quickly turns the display of pure affection into a lustful kiss, starting at my neck and working his way to my lips, hiding his discomfort by making it into something he's more accustomed to. For a short second I'm annoyed that he couldn't just let me give him a hug and be done with it, that he just had to kiss me again right here with everyone watching. The annoyance is new to me; usually I can never get enough of his kisses. I repress a sigh, compliance taking control of me as I allow him to kiss me again for the eighty-four-thousandth time. A strange thought appears in my head: at this exact moment, I would rather be with Eddie. He would not be pushing me to kiss him this much. Odd. Usually when Frankie and I are together it's all I can think about, especially when we're kissing. But for some reason I keep thinking of Eddie. I can't help myself. I don't know what's getting into me. It's that feeling I felt earlier: that maybe Frank doesn't care for my mind or my heart, just my body.
"Merry Christmas," he whispers in my ear, his deep voice so smooth and enthralling. His words send me into an infatuated trance of sorts, causing me to push all of my restlessness from my mind and focus on him as he kisses me, the touch of his lips against mine sending a tingle down my spine. My mind whirs with energy, going ten times its' normal speed. Whatever disapproval I saw on his face earlier when Eddie and I were together has disappeared. It's just him and me again, kissing and our lipstick mingling, leaving traces of his dark cherry lips on my neck and my ruby ones on his cheeks. It's so weird; I never in a million years dreamed I'd be leaving lipstick smudges on someone who left lipstick smudges on me too. But here I am and here he is and that's exactly what we're doing, smudging our lipstick all over each other in the ballroom with all the guests pretending like they're not watching but really they are, hiding behind their hands and glancing at us inconspicuously. For the second time tonight I feel a funny sense of guilt creeping over me; but this time it's because Eddie is watching Frank and I. I try not to look at Eddie, where he stands over by the drinks glumly watching us. I try to ignore it, thinking only about Frankie as he pushes his body against mine and makes out with me until he's contented.
Satisfied with my reaction to his gift, he finishes with me for the moment and heads into the crowd of people, chatting it up and flirting vacuously with guests, who lap up the attention like it's what sustains them. He knows he can find me later and I'll still be waiting for him; no matter what else I might be doing he knows that I'll be willing to devote myself to him and him alone as always. In a way, once his romantic behaviors are focused on someone else, I realize how much I've come to thrive off of him paying that sort of special attention to me. I know his mindless flirtation can't mean anything, of course, it never does; but even still it sort of hurts in a way.
Instead of dwelling on the hurt, I seek out the one I know will make me feel better. "Hey, Eddie," I murmur quietly, finding him standing by the snack table looking into blank space and winding my arm around his waist. He absentmindedly imitates my gesture, halfheartedly kissing me on the cheek for a brief moment before returning to staring off into space.
"Hey yourself, kid," he replies, only halfway paying attention. Suddenly I wish that Eddie would kiss me again, and more passionately; maybe that'd make Frank realize I'm still around. It usually works; I just start flirting with someone else and in a flash, there he is loving me. Oh, but that would be mean. I don't want to use Eddie. I like him a lot, I really do. He's a sweet guy and I know he likes me a lot too. Oh, I feel bad for stringing him along like this. It would be so much easier if I could just choose between him and Frankie... but I can't. I feel like I'm being torn in half sometimes. For the time being I try to focus on Eddie and not dwell on anything – or anyone – else. He's worth my time, Eddie is. And I truly do like him lots...
I notice he's acting uncommonly withdrawn. Usually he's so... oh, I don't know how to describe it. He's just... Eddie. But tonight he doesn't seem himself. After a few uncomfortable minutes of silence, I decide maybe it's time to start dancing. Oddly, he doesn't even try to stop me when I get up, which is really strange. He usually just wants to keep me with him while he can, while my mind is on him and him only. I'll admit, I don't give him the opportunity as much as he'd want. But so often when he comes by it's for a party, and so often at parties do I want to dance. Or I'm with Frankie. I instantly decide to try and spend more time with him, at parties and otherwise. But for the time being, I want – I need – to dance, to distract myself from my worries. If he had put up a bit more of an effort to keep me there with him, I would stay, sure. But I'll find him when I'm done dancing and we can spend as much time together as he'd like. I'll devote myself to him tonight. I will. I kiss him and whisper that I'll be back, then I get up to dance.
The music switches to a particularly cheery song and I move with the beat, spinning and tapping and whirling to the music. Smiling unrealistically, I dance like there's no tomorrow. And maybe there isn't. Maybe the world will end tonight. Who knows? For now, though, I'm not thinking about the end of the world. It's just me and the music and I'm dancing. Dancing dancing dancing. Not worrying about Frankie, not worrying about Eddie, not wondering why Riff-Raff and Magenta looked so mysteriously unkempt when they appeared to help decorate (or why they disappeared quickly after the guests started arriving with that same mischievous look on their faces that says they might be up to something). No. It's just me twirling across the dance floor, emptying my mind and making myself feel better.
Once I'm sufficiently happy, I begin to search the crowd for Eddie's face, hoping to find him and spend a little more time with him, to share my new & improved happiness with him. He deserves it. He really does. He came out here early with decorations. If it wasn't for him this place wouldn't look nearly as good as it does now. And it really does look good... I scan the throngs of people looking for Eddie, discovering he's nowhere to be found. Weird. He's always one of the last to leave, but tonight it seems as if he's the first. He's not on the dance floor, he's not by the tree, he's not by my jukebox, he's not by the refreshments table. He's not here.
Where is he?
I don't remember him saying he had to leave early... maybe he didn't feel good. No, that doesn't make any sense. If he didn't feel good he could stay and I would try to make him feel better. Maybe he just had somewhere to be and forgot to tell me. That's the only reasonable explanation. Even that doesn't make that much sense. Why would he leave early? I could swear I told him I'd be back when I was done dancing. For the first time I realize we really don't tell each other that much, and this makes me feel a little funny. What sort of a relationship is this that we don't tell each other hardly anything? Does this even count as a relationship? What does it count as, anyway? I look over the crowd one more time, making sure I didn't miss him. Nope. It seems as if he certainly has left.
A bit disheartened, I reluctantly go over to the refreshments table, wishing Eddie hadn't left. Instead of reaching for a tumbler of soda like I usually do, I impulsively down a glass of red wine punch (emphasis on the red wine). Drinking age? What drinking age? Not here, not in this castle of sin. I feel the drink coursing through my insides and reach for another. Why haven't I tried this before? Thirstily, I grab another glass and drink it quickly, then another, another, just one more, one more... Oh my, it's good. So, so good...
I feel lightheaded, like I could float on air. My worrisome mood evaporates. Suddenly I feel much, much better. Whatever had possessed me to stop dancing before has disappeared. Full of stimulation, I go over to my new bright blue jukebox and adjust the playlist to play 1950's style Christmas music. Yes, much better! I start dancing again, with more dynamism and animation than before, squealing with delight as I twirl, singing along vociferously to the music. Not stopping, never stopping. Don't stop can't stop won't stop. Dance, dance, dance. Feeling eyes of the guests following me as I dance, I decide to go all-out and give them a good show. Oh yes, keep watching. Keep watching and I'll keep dancing...
During a slow song, not nearly so much fun to dance to as the fast ones, I spot Frankie's curly raven head amongst a large group of guests, charismatic as always. Making my way through the crowd carefully, I walk over to his side, smiling sweetly. "Hey there, Frankie baby," I croon into his ear with a sexy giggle, hoping he'll be as responsive as he usually is. Sure enough his lust overtakes him and he kisses my neck passionately. I let out a wail of pleasure as he pushes his tongue through my lips and explores. "Ooh, Frankie," I murmur with irreverent enjoyment. "Don't stop."
"You foolish girl," he responds vicariously between his kisses in that evocative, sultry baritone. "What makes you think I would do a thing like that?" He says everything like it's the most important thing in the world. I squeal with delight, encouraging him to keep kissing me, a request which he most certainly fulfills, even with the guests looking at us with such interest. They're not bothering to hide it anymore. And you know what? I don't even care anymore. I don't care that they're all watching us kissing. I don't care about anything anymore except me and him and our lips on each others'. I concentrate so fully on him the rest of the world seems to be one big blur. I shut my eyes and concentrate on the feeling of his kiss, the feeling of his lips pressing against mine, his torso pressing against mine, his whole body pressing against mine, until it seems that that's all that's left in the world.
I open my eyes to take in Frankie's face as he kisses me over and over. And then my peripheral vision shows me something I really didn't want to see. Eddie, standing in the doorway watching Frank and I make out. Oh. Maybe he didn't leave after all... Suddenly the lightheaded feeling intensifies. The noises of the party become faint. This strange sensation rushes to my head, a combination of drowsiness, shame, and tipsiness. Everything seems a bit brighter. I notice the floor seems to be swaying. Frank has released me from his embrace. I mumble something incomprehensible even to my own ears before my legs give out and I collapse onto the floor...
I never was religious, don't get me wrong, but I always looked forward to Christmastime. It was a time when I could shine, a time of happiness and peace. The spirit of the season really got to me. However, it doesn't seem the spirit of the season has even introduced itself to Frankie. "Christmas?" His face is blank, as if he hasn't heard of Christmas.
"Yeah, Christmas," I say, teasing him a little. "Don't tell me... you haven't heard of Christmas!" Frank looks genuinely lost. Magenta and Riff- Raff turn to watch this, looking as if they expect something really funny to happen.
"Oh. Where I come from, we don't celebrate Christmas," Frank says, faltering.
"Where do you come from that you've never heard of Christmas?" I reply, trying to hide a giggle from behind my hand.
"It's a... very small, small country. You've probably never heard of it," Frank says, almost a little too quickly, as if he's covering for something. Magenta and Riff-Raff are glancing at each other almost nervously. They look panicked, even. That's strange; what's the big deal about where they're from? Is it some big super-secret or something? I'm about to say something, ask them why it's such a big deal, but Magenta cuts me off before I can start talking, looking a little urgent as she interrupts me. Soon, though, the urgency fades and Magenta's usual disinterested attitude comes through.
"Well, Columbia, tell us about Christmas then," Magenta articulates, taking a sarcastic tone as she puts down the streamer she was holding and crossing her arms.
"Whaddya wanna know 'bout it?" I ask cheerfully, hoping they won't ask me any religious questions as I'm certainly not fit to answer those and never have been, probably never will be.
"Anything," Magenta says, challenging me with a hint of a smirk appearing on her red, red lips.
"Well, all right then," I start, re-adjusting my position on the arm of Frank's throne and letting the words fly out of my mouth, getting more enthused by the second, my childish love for the holiday showing through. "So, every December, people celebrate Christmas. It's on the twenty-fifth. There's some big religious meaning behind it, but many people ignore that part and just celebrate the fun parts. See, there's a guy called Santa Clause, and he brings the kids presents if they're good. Families go to tree farms and cut down evergreen trees, which they put up in their houses and decorate with all sorts of ornaments and lights. People put Christmas lights on their houses too, some people even have lit-up statues and stuff in their front yards. Then Santa puts presents under the tree and everyone buys presents for each other too. And everyone makes gingerbread houses and eats candy canes and drinks eggnog. And everyone sings Christmas songs like Jingle Bells and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. And if you're lucky it snows and you can make snowmen and snow angels. It's just a general time of celebration and happiness. And see, Santa has these elves up in the North Pole who help him with the presents, and then there's the Sugarplum Faerie, who brings joy and good cheer to the hearts of many, and- "
Magenta stops me. "It sounds so... light." I've never heard Christmas described that way. Light. When you think about it that way, I guess it is. There are certainly lots of lights, on the trees and houses and lawns...
"I guess so," I reply. Neither Magenta nor Riff-Raff seems excited by the concept, but Frank's eyes are gleaming, clearly loving the idea of Christmas.
"Christmas, hmm?" he says, thinking. "Columbia, see if you can't help Magenta and Riff-Raff find some Christmas decorations around. Tonight we will have a Christmas party!" I let out a short, excited squeal, kiss Frankie quickly on the cheek, then rush upstairs to get dressed before it can turn into anything more. Magenta and Riff-Raff seem less than thrilled with this idea, lagging behind to have a talk with Frank, but I don't catch any of it. I love Christmas so much. Christmas is such a great time of the year...
In my excitement, I select a red dress with long sleeves, a short skirt, and silver sparkles to wear for the day ahead. Very Christmasy. Eventually, I hear Magenta and Riff-Raff come upstairs, whispering to each other. As I brush my hair, I dance around my room singing "Jingle Bells" in my high-pitched voice. When I finish "Jingle Bells" I start singing "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree", shuffling my feet and raising my head to the ceiling in song. I go through all of the upbeat Christmas tunes, straight from "Rudolph" to "Santa Baby". I lose track of time and the next thing I know I find Magenta and Riff-Raff at my door watching me belt out "Frosty the Snowman" into my hairbrush and twirling in circles. When I see them standing there, I quickly drop the brush and turn a shade of red rivaling my hair.
"All ready to go?" I ask chirpily, pretending they didn't just catch me acting so silly. They glance at each other, Magenta rolling her eyes at my enthusiasm. I honestly don't think Magenta likes me very much; just the way she acts towards me, so indifferent and unapproachable. I guess that's just the way she is... Actually, on second thought, she doesn't seem to like ANYONE very much, except Riff-Raff. There's something going on between those two, I just know it. The way they're almost always together, exchanging looks and sometimes I'll catch them doing this weird thing with their elbows when they think I'm not watching...
Ignoring Magenta's general disdain for the Christmas season – and my getting into it – I stroll out of my room and down the stairs, waiting at the bottom for them to catch up to me, humming "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas" all the while, a grin spreading across my face.
"Where are we gonna get the decorations?" I ask, wondering if by some odd twist of fate they might have some mistletoe and tinsel lying around somewhere, unused. Magenta and Riff-Raff look at each other. "Well, first things first, we need a tree! Are there any evergreens around here?" Neither of them seems to know, so I take matters into my own hands. Thinking for a moment, I begin to come up with an idea. "Okay then, Riffy, why dontcha go look outside and see if you can find one, and then you can bring it back into the ballroom." Riff-Raff does not seem to like being called 'Riffy'. I just giggle, making a mental note to call him 'Riffy' more often, just cause it's so funny to see how he reacts. With an agitated expression on his face, he heads outside. "All right, do you have any mistletoe around here?" I ask Magenta. She shakes her head. "Um, any garlands?" She shakes her head again. "Wreaths? Lights? Anything?"
When it becomes clear that there is nothing of any Christmastime value at the castle, I decide there's only one thing to do. "Hey, Frankie?" I ask as I approach his throne, where he's still sitting. "'Genta and I need some Christmas decorations for the party tonight. Do you know anywhere we might be able to find any? Are there any little convenience stores or anything near here? At all?" This seems like a fairly stupid question, since the castle is basically in the middle of nowhere, but it's the best option we've got.
"Convenience stores? No," Frank says, thinking. Gosh, he's so cute when he's thinking... the absorbed expression on his face that says he's deeply pondering something, his painted ebony eyebrows arching and furrowing, his index finger tapping his chin thoughtfully. I just watch him think for a minute, smiling at him. And then I have an idea.
"Frankie? I'll be right back. I'm gonna go phone Eddie and see if he can swing by with some stuff."
Leaving Frank and Magenta in the ballroom, I run upstairs to my bedroom, where what I take is the only telephone in the house is, since not once have I heard anyone else even mention needing one, and dial up Eddie's number. I know it by heart, but he's so rarely ever there. The phone rings. "Ah, hello?" Eddie's voice says groggily on the other line. "Hiya, Eddie! Did I wake you up?" I ask cheerfully.
"Huh, ah, no, no, I'm fine." He sounds like he might be a little hung- over, like he was out late last night boozing and carousing. I always worry about him when he goes out like that. He doesn't seem to know when to quit drinking sometimes, and he'll get in fights with other guys and get all bruised up. Sometimes he comes by after he gets in a fight so I can make him feel better, pampering him with shoulder rubs and kisses.
I smile thinking about it. "You comin' to the party tonight?" Silly question, he always does, sometimes staying in one of the guest bedrooms overnight afterwards, more recently me sometimes staying with him.
"Course I am, C'lumbia, course I am." He sounds like he just got out of bed, no matter what he says.
"Hey, listen, you celebrate Christmas, right?"
This question seems to surprise him. "Uh, I guess so," he replies, seeming unsure of my intentions.
"Good. Wouldja mind dropping by a little before the party with some Christmas decorations? Nothin' fancy, just some lights, some wreaths, some tinsel." I can imagine the confused look on his face, the inevitable question of why. Coaxingly, I continue, "See, Frankie doesn't have any Christmas stuff layin' around, and I so desperately want to have a Christmas party." I know by playing the little oh-please-please-pretty- please-with-a-cherry-on-top act I'll get him to give in. It always works.
"Fine," he says, pretending it's some huge burden. It really isn't, since he is supposed to be a delivery boy and everything.
"Thanks a bunch, Eddie!" I exclaim cheerfully. "See ya before the party." I pause, then quickly and flirtatiously whisper, "And maybe after too!" then hang up. I saunter downstairs and back into the ballroom, ready to tell Frankie what the plan is. Riff-Raff has returned with the Christmas tree and they're trying to figure out a way to get it to stay standing up straight. I try to stifle a giggle over their efforts with the evergreen as I make my way over to where Frank is still sitting, propping my arm on the back of his throne and talking to him. "Eddie said he'd bring by some decorating stuff before the party, so we just need to figure out some stuff for the tree," I state happily. Frank nods indifferently before turning his attention to where Riff-Raff and Magenta are struggling with the Christmas tree, annoyance written on his face, I suppose wondering why they can't just figure it out as he clearly expects them to be able to do.
After a while, Riff-Raff and Magenta are still having problems, so assuming I know what to do, Frank turns to me, saying, "Please, go give them a hand." I agree to do so, and he approves by kissing my cheek and neck. As I move and he kisses his way down my arm and to my hand, I blow a kiss back at him with my free hand and approach Riff-Raff and Magenta. It's almost funny how they haven't even thought about getting a tree stand or anything. It's like they expect the tree to just stay in place without anything to support it at all.
"D'ya have a tree stand?" I ask them innocently. They look at each other, then back at me with unreadable expressions. Riff starts walking out of the room, to where I suppose they have something to use as a tree stand. Grinning, I wave good-bye like a little kid and say, "Good luck, Riffy!" He cringes at the name and I laugh, turning to where Magenta stands, holding up the tree. "You don't have anything we could use as ornaments, do ya?" Magenta thinks about this for a moment.
"Well..." she seems to be deep in thought, although not completely seriously. "No." Why am I not surprised?
"Don't have anything we could make into ornaments? Some medallions, maybe, or little charms?" Magenta shoots me a look like, are you kidding me? Do we really seem like that kind of people? I don't have to think for a minute about what to do. "All right. You must have some ribbons somewhere, right?" Magenta looks perplexed, but nods. "Where are they?"
"Upstairs in the hall closet," Magenta replies, looking at me like I'm crazy from underneath her heavily made-up eyelids.
"Show me," I demand. Gingerly leaning the tree up against a table, she leads me upstairs without saying anything, stopping in the hallway at a door that she opens to reveal all sorts of odds and ends. I reach in and grab a box full of ribbons and then some glue that's almost too conveniently sitting next to it. "Thanks, Mags," I say, smiling widely as I head down the hall to my bedroom. I can hear her groans over the nickname I've given her as I shut the door and set the box down on my vanity table.
I open my drawer and take out one of my makeup boxes, the one with all of the empty ones, or the ones I never use. Turning on my record player, I bop my head and sing to my records absentmindedly as I glue ribbons to each individual lipstick and eyeliner, each blusher and nail polish. Slowly I turn my left-over makeup into Christmas ornaments, putting them in the ribbon-box when I'm done with them. The tree Riff found was pretty big, so I make sure to use every single rejected cosmetic for my enterprise. When I'm done, I take the box full of beauty products-turned-ornaments and head back downstairs, where I discover they've found a way to keep the tree standing.
"Hey, hey, lookin' great, Riffy!" I say approvingly, setting the box down and beginning to hang the decorations on the tree. Magenta and Riff-Raff look strangely at my discarded make-up as I hang each one of them carefully, spacing them out so there's enough room for the lights Eddie's gonna bring. Once I'm done, I step back to admire my work. It doesn't look half bad, for being no more than a bunch of leftover cosmetics hastily glued to ribbons hung on a tree, hoping they can pass for Christmas ornaments.
Frank rises from his throne, where he's been watching the whole endeavor, and comes over to stand by me, acting as if he's interested in the decorations. Within seconds, though, he's wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me into an embrace. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Magenta and Riff-Raff sneak off quietly, whispering to each other with hints of smiles on their faces and gleams in their eyes, but I stop paying attention when Frank draws me closer, sending me into a bliss-filled sensual paradise, kissing me on my neck my lips and anywhere else he can get to. We fall against the table, his arms around me as we kiss and then more than just kissing and oh my goodness passion infatuation obsession kisses compliments lust thrills excitement passion love love love. It's like the Beatles said. "All you need is love." With Frankie it's true. He seems to not be able to keep his hands off of me, almost as if it's all he cares about. Not my mind, not my heart, just my body... but at the same time, it's not as if I'm really much better. I don't stop him... I like him kissing me seducing me loving me. I don't want him to stop. It's just so amazing...
We're rocketed out of our stimulation by the sound of a ringing doorbell. "Eddie's here!" I call out, sitting up straight, sliding off the table, straightening my dress and smoothing down my hair. Riff-Raff appears out of nowhere to open the door, looking slightly tousled. I see Frank looking full of distaste at the mention of Eddie, but I push it out of my mind as he steps in the door, toting four bags full of Christmas decorations. Riff- Raff takes one bag, Magenta materializes as she so often does and carries another, her poufy hair mussed and her lipstick slightly smudged, causing me to wonder about exactly what she and Riffy might've been doing, Eddie keeps one for himself and I grab the last one, dancing into the ballroom with it.
"Look what Eddie brought!" I sing out childishly, tossing the bag on a table and opening it. I take out its' contents, several boxes full of twinkle lights. "Hey, Riffy, wouldja be a dear and hang these up around the house?" I say, throwing him the boxes so he has no choice. He grumbles, but starts to hang the lights up anyway. "Mags, could ya help me with some of this tinsel?" Looking appalled at the very thought of tinsel, she takes one end as I take the other and we pin it to the wall. We repeat this process until the ballroom and the entry hall are absolutely covered with the stuff. Eddie hangs all of the other decorations, the mistletoe and such. When I approach him, meaning to ask his opinion on the tinsel, he drags me under a sprig of mistletoe and kisses me full-on, shoving his tongue through my lips and causing me to squeal just a little bit with delight. Immediately I'm hoping Frankie's not watching as I return Eddie's kiss, my lips softly caressing his.
Once we're finished kissing, Eddie reaches into his bag and pulls out one last item: a furry red Santa hat. He shoves it on my head and I adjust it at a tilted angle, laughing. "How do I look?" I say, striking a pose like a pinup girl. Eddie hugs me and kisses me again in response. I return his kiss – the second in the space of roughly two minutes – and then ease away jovially, feeling a twinge of guilt as I see Frankie looking at us out of the corner of my eye. Oh, I wish it didn't have to be like this...
Not wanting to think about it, I start to walk up the stairs to touch up my makeup, finding Riff-Raff attempting to wind twinkle lights around the banister and complaining to himself. Twittering, I skip down the hall and into my room and I re-apply my eyeliner and lipstick, trying to erase my thoughts of guilt over kissing Eddie so openly right in front of Frank and replace them with happy Christmastime thoughts. I absolutely will not let my remorse ruin the Christmas season. Nope, nope, nope.
It doesn't take me too long, but by the time I'm done there are already guests arriving for the party. There's a group of guests by the door and I manage to make a grand entrance down the stairs, smiling and flirting and attracting perusals from many of them, thoroughly enjoying the spotlight and attention. I guess I'm histrionic at heart.
When I get to the bottom of the stairs, I spot Frankie waiting for me. He kisses my neck and greets me with a warm hello that practically melts the ice coating the landscape. Taking my hand, he leads me into the ballroom and over to a very tall rectangular box wrapped in purple paper with silver ribbon. "Ooh, for me?" I croon, genuinely surprised. Frank never seemed like the gift-giving type, but I suppose I must've been wrong.
He nods and I head for the box, gently tugging on the silver ribbon until it unravels in a neat heap on the floor and delicately slicing the wrapping paper with a red-lacquered fingernail. Once the wrapping paper is removed, the box seems to come apart of its' own free will, revealing a bright blue slightly space-age square jukebox. "Wow, Frankie, thanks!" Childishly, I hug him around the neck, my right foot popping into the air. He seems almost taken aback by my reaction, as if he was expecting something different, less innocent perhaps. Not surprisingly, he quickly turns the display of pure affection into a lustful kiss, starting at my neck and working his way to my lips, hiding his discomfort by making it into something he's more accustomed to. For a short second I'm annoyed that he couldn't just let me give him a hug and be done with it, that he just had to kiss me again right here with everyone watching. The annoyance is new to me; usually I can never get enough of his kisses. I repress a sigh, compliance taking control of me as I allow him to kiss me again for the eighty-four-thousandth time. A strange thought appears in my head: at this exact moment, I would rather be with Eddie. He would not be pushing me to kiss him this much. Odd. Usually when Frankie and I are together it's all I can think about, especially when we're kissing. But for some reason I keep thinking of Eddie. I can't help myself. I don't know what's getting into me. It's that feeling I felt earlier: that maybe Frank doesn't care for my mind or my heart, just my body.
"Merry Christmas," he whispers in my ear, his deep voice so smooth and enthralling. His words send me into an infatuated trance of sorts, causing me to push all of my restlessness from my mind and focus on him as he kisses me, the touch of his lips against mine sending a tingle down my spine. My mind whirs with energy, going ten times its' normal speed. Whatever disapproval I saw on his face earlier when Eddie and I were together has disappeared. It's just him and me again, kissing and our lipstick mingling, leaving traces of his dark cherry lips on my neck and my ruby ones on his cheeks. It's so weird; I never in a million years dreamed I'd be leaving lipstick smudges on someone who left lipstick smudges on me too. But here I am and here he is and that's exactly what we're doing, smudging our lipstick all over each other in the ballroom with all the guests pretending like they're not watching but really they are, hiding behind their hands and glancing at us inconspicuously. For the second time tonight I feel a funny sense of guilt creeping over me; but this time it's because Eddie is watching Frank and I. I try not to look at Eddie, where he stands over by the drinks glumly watching us. I try to ignore it, thinking only about Frankie as he pushes his body against mine and makes out with me until he's contented.
Satisfied with my reaction to his gift, he finishes with me for the moment and heads into the crowd of people, chatting it up and flirting vacuously with guests, who lap up the attention like it's what sustains them. He knows he can find me later and I'll still be waiting for him; no matter what else I might be doing he knows that I'll be willing to devote myself to him and him alone as always. In a way, once his romantic behaviors are focused on someone else, I realize how much I've come to thrive off of him paying that sort of special attention to me. I know his mindless flirtation can't mean anything, of course, it never does; but even still it sort of hurts in a way.
Instead of dwelling on the hurt, I seek out the one I know will make me feel better. "Hey, Eddie," I murmur quietly, finding him standing by the snack table looking into blank space and winding my arm around his waist. He absentmindedly imitates my gesture, halfheartedly kissing me on the cheek for a brief moment before returning to staring off into space.
"Hey yourself, kid," he replies, only halfway paying attention. Suddenly I wish that Eddie would kiss me again, and more passionately; maybe that'd make Frank realize I'm still around. It usually works; I just start flirting with someone else and in a flash, there he is loving me. Oh, but that would be mean. I don't want to use Eddie. I like him a lot, I really do. He's a sweet guy and I know he likes me a lot too. Oh, I feel bad for stringing him along like this. It would be so much easier if I could just choose between him and Frankie... but I can't. I feel like I'm being torn in half sometimes. For the time being I try to focus on Eddie and not dwell on anything – or anyone – else. He's worth my time, Eddie is. And I truly do like him lots...
I notice he's acting uncommonly withdrawn. Usually he's so... oh, I don't know how to describe it. He's just... Eddie. But tonight he doesn't seem himself. After a few uncomfortable minutes of silence, I decide maybe it's time to start dancing. Oddly, he doesn't even try to stop me when I get up, which is really strange. He usually just wants to keep me with him while he can, while my mind is on him and him only. I'll admit, I don't give him the opportunity as much as he'd want. But so often when he comes by it's for a party, and so often at parties do I want to dance. Or I'm with Frankie. I instantly decide to try and spend more time with him, at parties and otherwise. But for the time being, I want – I need – to dance, to distract myself from my worries. If he had put up a bit more of an effort to keep me there with him, I would stay, sure. But I'll find him when I'm done dancing and we can spend as much time together as he'd like. I'll devote myself to him tonight. I will. I kiss him and whisper that I'll be back, then I get up to dance.
The music switches to a particularly cheery song and I move with the beat, spinning and tapping and whirling to the music. Smiling unrealistically, I dance like there's no tomorrow. And maybe there isn't. Maybe the world will end tonight. Who knows? For now, though, I'm not thinking about the end of the world. It's just me and the music and I'm dancing. Dancing dancing dancing. Not worrying about Frankie, not worrying about Eddie, not wondering why Riff-Raff and Magenta looked so mysteriously unkempt when they appeared to help decorate (or why they disappeared quickly after the guests started arriving with that same mischievous look on their faces that says they might be up to something). No. It's just me twirling across the dance floor, emptying my mind and making myself feel better.
Once I'm sufficiently happy, I begin to search the crowd for Eddie's face, hoping to find him and spend a little more time with him, to share my new & improved happiness with him. He deserves it. He really does. He came out here early with decorations. If it wasn't for him this place wouldn't look nearly as good as it does now. And it really does look good... I scan the throngs of people looking for Eddie, discovering he's nowhere to be found. Weird. He's always one of the last to leave, but tonight it seems as if he's the first. He's not on the dance floor, he's not by the tree, he's not by my jukebox, he's not by the refreshments table. He's not here.
Where is he?
I don't remember him saying he had to leave early... maybe he didn't feel good. No, that doesn't make any sense. If he didn't feel good he could stay and I would try to make him feel better. Maybe he just had somewhere to be and forgot to tell me. That's the only reasonable explanation. Even that doesn't make that much sense. Why would he leave early? I could swear I told him I'd be back when I was done dancing. For the first time I realize we really don't tell each other that much, and this makes me feel a little funny. What sort of a relationship is this that we don't tell each other hardly anything? Does this even count as a relationship? What does it count as, anyway? I look over the crowd one more time, making sure I didn't miss him. Nope. It seems as if he certainly has left.
A bit disheartened, I reluctantly go over to the refreshments table, wishing Eddie hadn't left. Instead of reaching for a tumbler of soda like I usually do, I impulsively down a glass of red wine punch (emphasis on the red wine). Drinking age? What drinking age? Not here, not in this castle of sin. I feel the drink coursing through my insides and reach for another. Why haven't I tried this before? Thirstily, I grab another glass and drink it quickly, then another, another, just one more, one more... Oh my, it's good. So, so good...
I feel lightheaded, like I could float on air. My worrisome mood evaporates. Suddenly I feel much, much better. Whatever had possessed me to stop dancing before has disappeared. Full of stimulation, I go over to my new bright blue jukebox and adjust the playlist to play 1950's style Christmas music. Yes, much better! I start dancing again, with more dynamism and animation than before, squealing with delight as I twirl, singing along vociferously to the music. Not stopping, never stopping. Don't stop can't stop won't stop. Dance, dance, dance. Feeling eyes of the guests following me as I dance, I decide to go all-out and give them a good show. Oh yes, keep watching. Keep watching and I'll keep dancing...
During a slow song, not nearly so much fun to dance to as the fast ones, I spot Frankie's curly raven head amongst a large group of guests, charismatic as always. Making my way through the crowd carefully, I walk over to his side, smiling sweetly. "Hey there, Frankie baby," I croon into his ear with a sexy giggle, hoping he'll be as responsive as he usually is. Sure enough his lust overtakes him and he kisses my neck passionately. I let out a wail of pleasure as he pushes his tongue through my lips and explores. "Ooh, Frankie," I murmur with irreverent enjoyment. "Don't stop."
"You foolish girl," he responds vicariously between his kisses in that evocative, sultry baritone. "What makes you think I would do a thing like that?" He says everything like it's the most important thing in the world. I squeal with delight, encouraging him to keep kissing me, a request which he most certainly fulfills, even with the guests looking at us with such interest. They're not bothering to hide it anymore. And you know what? I don't even care anymore. I don't care that they're all watching us kissing. I don't care about anything anymore except me and him and our lips on each others'. I concentrate so fully on him the rest of the world seems to be one big blur. I shut my eyes and concentrate on the feeling of his kiss, the feeling of his lips pressing against mine, his torso pressing against mine, his whole body pressing against mine, until it seems that that's all that's left in the world.
I open my eyes to take in Frankie's face as he kisses me over and over. And then my peripheral vision shows me something I really didn't want to see. Eddie, standing in the doorway watching Frank and I make out. Oh. Maybe he didn't leave after all... Suddenly the lightheaded feeling intensifies. The noises of the party become faint. This strange sensation rushes to my head, a combination of drowsiness, shame, and tipsiness. Everything seems a bit brighter. I notice the floor seems to be swaying. Frank has released me from his embrace. I mumble something incomprehensible even to my own ears before my legs give out and I collapse onto the floor...