A/N: we're still writing this damn thing even though no one likes it. Read
it mindlessly.
Chapter 14 - The Beauty of Subplots
Ariel ran around the fair in utter ecstasy, looking at the flashing lights and, for most of them, the fluoro coloured fluffy toys. Ariel's excitement was not helped by the fact that he had congested a dangerously high amount of sugar. Dally looked on at Ariel condescendingly as he let out a loud high pitched, "Yippee!" as he went around on the merry-go-round.
Dally walked around to the exit of the merry-go-round to greet Ariel as he hopped off. Ariel ran up to Dally with a huge smile on his face and asked, "So, what are we gonna do next? Oh! Can we go on the Ferris wheel? Please? Please? Pretty please?"
Dally narrowed his eyes at Ariel, "Like hell. There is absolutely no way that we are getting on the bloody Ferris wheel. If you want to stay at the fair then we're getting on the roller coaster. If you're gonna sulk about the Ferris wheel then we'll go back to Revello Drive."
"Oooh, goodie, a roller coaster!" Ariel squealed in a very babyish voice. Dally rolled his eyes and followed the excitable blonde.
---------------
Hermione Granger looked around her and settled her eyes on Draco. "Draco?" she asked confused. She looked at Willow and asked, "Who are you? Where am I? Draco?"
Draco looked at Hermione with disbelief, he walked over to her and said slowly, "Well, I don't know what you're doing here, but, well, you're in Sunnydale California."
Willow and Draco looked at the stunned Hermione waiting for her to register the fact that she was no longer at school in England. Hermione paled as she realised what Draco had just said was true, she looked around and said faintly, "I think I need to sit down." She then promptly fainted.
"Shit! Hermione!" Draco ran over to her and kneeled down. He began searching his clothes for his wand but couldn't find it. Willow waved her hand and Hermione lifted off the ground. Draco looked up shocked. He stared at Willow and thought, 'I was right, Willow's power-girl.'
Hermione began to float towards the house with Willow and Draco following her. Willow placed Hermione on the lounge and let out a breath.
"How the hell did you do that?" asked Draco.
"Well you see you know how I said my girlfriend was murdered? Well what had happened I went super bad ass Wicca girl and I tried to destroy the world. Giles took me back to England and I learnt to control all the power I had."
Draco nodded understanding. He turned back to Hermione, "Mione'll be alright won't she?"
"She'll be fine. She'll wake up soon then we will try to explain everything to her."
A rather non plussed Giles walked into the lounge room and saw a strange girl unconscious on the lounge. As Willow got up to explain Giles held up a hand to stop her and said, "I'm not going to ask, I already know that it has something to do with him." Giles turned and pointed at Draco who looked at him evenly. Giles took a sip of his coffee and looked at Willow and then the girl on the lounge and walked out.
Giles went to find Xander, yes, Xander of all people with a hope to either assuage or confirm his fear that Spike's ons were pure evil and wanted to kill them all in a bloody massacre. Either way Giles found Xander and Anya in the kitchen of the Summers house.
"Alexander Lavelle Harris, you are the most arrogant conceited dickhead I've ever met!" Anya screamed.
"I am not! Spike lives under this roof as well!" Xander retorted so very eloquently.
"I HATE YOU!"
"I HATE YOU!"
And of course the passionate kiss ensued.
Giles dropped his coffee cup, turned on his heel and walked out of the kitchen while throwing his hands in the air and muttering, "This house is going to the bleeding dogs."
--------------
In the Hyperion Hotel everyone was either brooding, or well, brooding. Wesley was sitting in the foyer in a vain attempt to keep Angel Investigations operating whilst brooding. The phone rang and Wes jumped up to answer it eagerly with a bouncy, "Hello, Angel Investigations, how can I help you? Oh, hello Giles, what is happening?"
On the other end a very exasperated Giles explained the situation. This was the whole 'Spike's sons are trying to kill us all in a bloody massacre and they have brainwashed everyone here.' And the response? The decision to launch a complex military operation to bring down the blonde haired blue eyed evil people.
---------------
"Harry, we have to go see Dumbledore," said Ron.
"You're right. Something bad has happened. What if Voldemort has her?"
"C'mon let's go!" The two began running higgly piggly to Dumbledore's office, "Acid pops!" Ron yelled and they ran up the stairs.
"Professor Dumbledore!" Harry called.
"Yes Harry? Ron?"
"Sir, it's Hermione, she disappeared, and we have to save her."
"Ms Granger is perfectly fine."
Some time later.
Harry and Ron looked at each other then back at Dumbledore, "Thanks Professor," they said in unison. They left Dumbledore's office and when they arrived back in the Entrance Hall Harry said, "There's something wrong. I'm Harry Potter. It's my job to save people and Hermione needs saving."
"And I'm Ronald Weasley. I'm your side-kick and I'll follow you into danger every time."
"Let's go."
---------------
An old homeless lady peered out into the dark night, waiting for two particular people who could change the world. The lady jumped to her feet as she heard two sets of footsteps approach the entrance to her alley. She crouched down as she waited for the two blonde-haired boys to pass her. As soon as they passed she began following them very loudly and clumsily. Before they'd gone two blocks the two blonde-haired boys knew from their extensive training that someone was following them. The rounded a corner and-WHAM! Dally had the old lady pinned against the wall of a building.
Dally initially looked shocked to find that the person who was following them was an old lady but quickly recovered and asked her, "What are you doing following us?"
The old lady looked defiantly at Dally and answered, "I am Meriath and I am here to recruit you; to make you join our order."
Dally and Ariel looked confused, but Ariel was overcome by curiosity and asked, "What order?"
Meriath looked at him incredulously, "Don't you know? The Order of the Phoenix."
"The Order of what?"
"The phoenix. But where is the other?"
"Other? Other what?"
"The other boy, you're brother."
"You mean Draco?"
"Yes, now where is he? All three of you need to begin your training for the Order."
"You still haven't explained what this order is."
"Take me to your brother. He will understand what I'm talking about. He will be able to explain it to you."
---------------
Wesley looked around the foyer of the Hyperion Hotel, his eyes resting on Angel, Lorne, Fred, Connor and Cordelia, "I'm glad you all came just like I asked you to. I know that it has been quite a tense time since Spike and his spawn of evil have left us, but we need to take some action." He looked at the Fang Gang assembled in front of him and continued with his rather stiff and British speech, "Spike and his spawn of evil, who from now on shall be code named 'evil' have reached Sunnydale. Giles has made a may day call and is requesting our immediate help." Wesley then produced a map of LA's road ways which led to Sunnydale and positioned it on a stand, he then produced a cane. With his map and cane in hand Wes straightened up and looked at them harshly, "We are here," he pointed his cane at LA, "and we need to be here," Wes then pointed at Sunnydale. "Tomorrow we will set out at 10:00 PM sharp and will meet with Giles on the outskirts of town. From there we will work out how to bring down evil. Any questions?"
There were no questions for Commander Wes-the-British-toff.
Wes nodded and said, "Go gather your things and prepare to make me proud."
---------------
"Psst! Cordy," Fred whispered.
Cordelia looked around and saw Fred gesturing to her, "Come on Cordy, quickly."
Cordy followed Fred into a room and looked at her, "What's wrong? What do you need me for?"
"Cordy we have to do something. We can't let the others kill Spike and the boys which is what I bet they want to do. We have to try and stop them, but how?"
"Oh, I know. We could pretend that we agree with Wesley and then we get to Sunnydale and tell Spike what's going on."
"You mean, bring them down from the inside?"
"That's exactly what I mean."
"Excellent," said Fred in a very Bill and Ted kind of way.
---------------
Hermione Granger awoke on the lounge of some stranger's home. She got up to have a look around but was interrupted when Draco came into the room, "Hermione, you're awake! How are you feeling?"
Hermione smiled half heartedly at him and replied, "I'm fine, I'd be better if I knew where I am and what I'm doing here."
"Well, you see-"
Draco's reply was cut off by Spike dragging two of his very disgruntled sons in by the ear, followed by Meriath. Spike sat them down on the lounge, ignoring Hermione's wide eyed stares. Spike then rounded on Dally, "What did you think you were doing and what do you think you are doing?"
Dally looked at him in disbelief, "What do you mean by 'what am I doing?'"
"Bringing home old ladies, you don't go around chatting up old married ladies."
Ariel started cacking himself and Dally looked out right murderous. Hermione turned to Draco slowly and said to him amidst the family argument, "Why are there three people who look exactly like you?"
"I'll take you outside and explain properly." Hermione nodded, still wide eyed and let herself be led to the porch.
---------------
"Okay, I get it now," said Hermione as she and Draco walked back into the lounge room. The looked at the group assembled there. Spike, the father; Dally and Ariel, the brothers; Buffy, the slayer; Giles the watcher; Xander the Illustrated Man; Anya the ex-demon; Dawn the cry-baby; Andrew the funnel cake lover; Willow the ex-evil wiccan; Oz the werewolf and an old lady named.
"Meriath?!" Draco and Hermione yelled together.
"Hello Draco," said Meriath, "How are you Hermione? You understand what's going on?"
"Um, yeah, everything except why you're here."
"Well, I'm here to recruit you, Draco and Hermione, as well as Ariel and Dally."
Spike got up and said to Meriath, "What do you mean you want to recruit my bloody sons? Why the hell would you want the silly buggers?"
Draco glanced briefly at his father and then did a double take as he took in his father's bloody nose, cut lip and over all dishevelled appearance, "What the hell happened to you?"
"Dally and I settled our differences," Spike gestured to Dally who was looking similarly dishevelled, bruised and bloody.
"Hem hem," Meriath said in an Umbridge sort of way, "Family problems aside, I need to recruit these boys, and the lovely lady for out most noble cause. So what do you say? Will you join?"
The three boys looked at each other and Dally answered for them, "No."
"What?!" shrieked Hermione, "Draco, you're not really saying no to the Order are you?"
Draco looked at her, "No I'm not. The Order needs us." Draco turned to Dally and Ariel and said, "You guys can say no if you want but I'm not." Finally he turned to Meriath, "Hermione and I will join."
"Hem hem, wonderful," she replied.
"Meriath, where's Dumbledore?" asked Hermione. "Shouldn't he be here?"
"Ah, well you see, Dumbledore has decided to take a holiday."
Hermione frowned, "He took a holiday? Where on earth to?"
"Oh, he went to Disneyland." All the people in the lounge room made 'oh's' of understanding, even if the world were about to end, anyone would take the time to go to Disneyland.
Draco turned to his brothers, "So, are you boys joining?"
Ariel's eyes brightened as he asked, "What do we get if we join?"
Meriath answered, "Well, you will be coming to England, free accommodation, travel and you might even get some fairy floss."
"That's it, I'm in," Ariel decided rashly, only joining for the promise of fairy floss.
Dally sighed in defeat, "I guess I'm joining as well."
"That's excellent, we-"
Spike interrupted Meriath, "Wait, I won't have my sons running off to sodding England with some poncy order. I got them out of their crappy universes and they're staying with me, here, in Sunnydale."
Andrew leant over to Xander, Anya and Dawn on the couch and asked, "Do you want me to make some pop corn to watch the show with?"
"Yes please," replied Xander.
"Meriath, why do we need to go back to England?" asked Hermione, trying to keep everyone calm.
"Hermione's right," said Draco, "Voldemort isn't going to stay in Britain and there's no way I'm going anywhere near Lucius."
"But Draco, Lucius is your father," Meriath calmly replied.
"No he's not. Spike is. And why do you want me to go back to him when you know he's a deatheater? You know very well that he's Voldemort's right hand man."
"Hem, hem. Draco the Order of the Phoenix needs spies in the dark lord's army."
"Like hell it does," Draco yelled extremely pissed off. "Snape is a spy, you don't need me. I will never join Voldemort for whatever reason. I few have to go back to England to join the order then I'm not going."
Meriath folded her arms and pouted, "Fine then, you can't be in the Order then."
Hermione pouted also and replied haughtily, "If Draco's not joining, then I'm not."
Ariel and Dally stood up, crossed their arms and said in unison, "And neither are we."
"Fine then, you shall suffer the wrath of me, the-wait. You'll suffer the wrath of-wait, no, they don't do that, damn," Meriath paused and looked around for inspiration, she picked up a pen, "You shall suffer the wrath of the pen! You will cower and run and hide and wish you were never born. All because of the pen!"
Oz stood up, "Could you just leave now?"
Meriath blinked and moved towards the front door but stuck her head around the doorway, "You are not getting your pen back."
Spike stood up and smirked, "So, what are we gonna do now?"
Xander answered, "Well, we could-"
But his answer was cut short by Wesley, decked in ninja clothes that crashed through the living room window with a karate kick, a karate yell and a pair of Mutant Ninja Turtles nun chucks.
Angel and Gunn jumped in next to him and all three took up ninja stances. Fred and Cordy walked up to the window and said, "Umm, we'll take the door."
Wes, Angel and Gunn began swinging their nun chucks around violently. Draco and Hermione began o feel a bit worried as Wes, Angel and Gunn were walking towards them. As one they pulled out their wands and yelled, "Stupefy!" Two red jets of light hit Angel and Gunn in the chest and they fell on the ground stiff as boards. Draco didn't see Wes coming but Hermione did and jumped in front of Draco. She yelled, "Stupefy!" just in time. Wes and the nun chuck froze just as the nun chuck was about to hit Hermione's cheek.
Draco and Hermione turned to Red and Cordelia, wands a t the ready. Fred and Cordelia held up their hands and Fred hurried to say something, "Hey, hey, hey, don't look at us. They're the ones who want you dead." She nodded towards the three stiff bodies on the floor.
"Oh, and him," Cordy added and threw her head towards Giles.
Buffy stalked towards Giles, "Why Giles? You're trying to kill Spike again. Why, why? Why do you hat me so much? Why?" Buffy collapsed on the ground bawling her eyes out. Giles was about to pounce on Dally but Spike hit him square in the jaw. Giles hit his head on the wall and was knocked unconscious. Again.
"Tie them up," said the self-appointed leader Oz.
---------------
Xander paced up and down the basement, waiting for Spike to get back from his break.
"Could you stop doing that?" asked Gunn.
Angel chipped in as well, "Yeah, you know that pacing is as clichéd as you can get."
Xander narrowed his eyes, "Do you really want me to show you the tattoo again?"
Angel shuddered, "God no."
"Oh come on. You're a vampire, be brave, you can handle it," said Wes.
Giles rolled his eyes, "You obviously haven't seen the tattoo yet."
"No, but I'm sure it's not that bad."
Angel replied defensively, "You try having yourself tattooed on a guy's leg."
"So, what are the little chickens up to now?" Spike sauntered into the basement with a smirk on his face.
"Well we're being bored to death by pacing man here," Gunn tried his best to gesture to the still moving Xander only using his head.
Spike leant into Gunn's face and gave him a smug smile, "Well after this you're not going to be bored."
---------------
Dawn walked down into the basement where Spike was getting ready to torture Angel a bi more by telling him more things about his precious Buffykins.
"Hiya Spikey," Dawn said, trying to be flirtatious.
"Hey pigeon. You come down to see the wonderful hair-gel-head being tortured to the point of insanity?"
"Only if you're going to torture him," Dawn batted her eyelashes at Spike.
"DAWN DUSK SUMMERS!" Buffy's voice came down the stairs and was followed by Buffy herself stampeding down the rickety stair case.
"Get away from my man," Buffy said in a very western movie kind of way.
"And what are you gonna do if I don't?" Dawn stepped in front of Spike and folded her arms.
"This," Buffy pushed Dawn to the ground, ran to Spike and hugged him tightly. Spike held her and smiled maliciously at Angel over Buffy's head. Angel gasped then fainted.
---------------
Meanwhile upstairs Andrew, Anya, Oz, Willow, Draco, Dally, Ariel, Hermione, Fred and Cordelia were upstairs playing a huge game of twister. Andrew spun the roulette and said to Anya, "Right hand red."
With a thump, Anya was out of the game. She got up and sat down next to Xander on the lounge, who said to her, "Welcome to the land of the inflexible people."
Anya replied, "I'm not inflexible, it's just everyone else, mucking up my concentration."
"Sure it is honey, sure it is."
Andrew watched the mass of twisted up people with a smile of pleasure, "You know, it's so good that we're doing something so wholesome and fun together. I reckon that this is a change for good, no more drunken-"
Dally, who was in extreme pain growled at him, "Spin the damn thing before I break your face."
"Okay, okay," whined Andrew. He spun, "Left foot blue."
"Aargh!" Dally came crashing down bringing Fred along with him.
Dally landed on top of Fred and said, "Hey there cutie." Fred got up and sat down on the lounge and blushed.
"Okay Draco," said Andrew, "Left hand green."
Draco moved and found himself looking straight down at Hermione, "Uh, hey there Granger," he said with a slight pink tinge in his cheeks.
"Malfoy, are you blushing?"
"No!"
"Hermione, right hand yellow." Hermione tried to move but hit Draco instead. The two of them rolled off the plastic and Hermione ended up on top of Draco.
Andrew looked at them over the top of his roulette board and said in his nasal voice, "I think you two may be out."
Dally looked at him condescendingly and said, "No, they're not."
"Well actually-"
Xander decided that it was time to step in and said, "Shut up."
Suddenly, everyone's attention was turned towards the voice outside. "Oh my lord, I never thought we'd get here. Hello? Anybody home?"
Oz, the leader, spoke up, "Yeah, come in."
In burst Lorne and a very bedraggled looking Connor to find a lounge room full of people either staring at them or playing twister. As Connor spied Cordelia playing twister with Ariel, Oz and Willow he thought, 'This is the true definition of Hell.'
A/N: hey, no body reads this thing anyway so I (not pencil gal this time, it's the author formerly known as ginger ninja, Broadway Betty) get to say whatever the hell I want. So, review this damn thing, even if you think it's the worst piece of writing on the earth, just review it. If you flame us though, we will extract revenge on you, a rather painful and embarrassing revenge I assure you. And the reason we keep on posting this thing? We have fun writing it; maths is so much brighter thanks to something else.
Apart from that Pencil Gal and I (Broadway Betty) are claiming rights on the use of twister as a romance fuelling plot bunny, we encourage others to use it, but we came up with the idea of it; we'd just like you to acknowledge that fact.
Chapter 14 - The Beauty of Subplots
Ariel ran around the fair in utter ecstasy, looking at the flashing lights and, for most of them, the fluoro coloured fluffy toys. Ariel's excitement was not helped by the fact that he had congested a dangerously high amount of sugar. Dally looked on at Ariel condescendingly as he let out a loud high pitched, "Yippee!" as he went around on the merry-go-round.
Dally walked around to the exit of the merry-go-round to greet Ariel as he hopped off. Ariel ran up to Dally with a huge smile on his face and asked, "So, what are we gonna do next? Oh! Can we go on the Ferris wheel? Please? Please? Pretty please?"
Dally narrowed his eyes at Ariel, "Like hell. There is absolutely no way that we are getting on the bloody Ferris wheel. If you want to stay at the fair then we're getting on the roller coaster. If you're gonna sulk about the Ferris wheel then we'll go back to Revello Drive."
"Oooh, goodie, a roller coaster!" Ariel squealed in a very babyish voice. Dally rolled his eyes and followed the excitable blonde.
---------------
Hermione Granger looked around her and settled her eyes on Draco. "Draco?" she asked confused. She looked at Willow and asked, "Who are you? Where am I? Draco?"
Draco looked at Hermione with disbelief, he walked over to her and said slowly, "Well, I don't know what you're doing here, but, well, you're in Sunnydale California."
Willow and Draco looked at the stunned Hermione waiting for her to register the fact that she was no longer at school in England. Hermione paled as she realised what Draco had just said was true, she looked around and said faintly, "I think I need to sit down." She then promptly fainted.
"Shit! Hermione!" Draco ran over to her and kneeled down. He began searching his clothes for his wand but couldn't find it. Willow waved her hand and Hermione lifted off the ground. Draco looked up shocked. He stared at Willow and thought, 'I was right, Willow's power-girl.'
Hermione began to float towards the house with Willow and Draco following her. Willow placed Hermione on the lounge and let out a breath.
"How the hell did you do that?" asked Draco.
"Well you see you know how I said my girlfriend was murdered? Well what had happened I went super bad ass Wicca girl and I tried to destroy the world. Giles took me back to England and I learnt to control all the power I had."
Draco nodded understanding. He turned back to Hermione, "Mione'll be alright won't she?"
"She'll be fine. She'll wake up soon then we will try to explain everything to her."
A rather non plussed Giles walked into the lounge room and saw a strange girl unconscious on the lounge. As Willow got up to explain Giles held up a hand to stop her and said, "I'm not going to ask, I already know that it has something to do with him." Giles turned and pointed at Draco who looked at him evenly. Giles took a sip of his coffee and looked at Willow and then the girl on the lounge and walked out.
Giles went to find Xander, yes, Xander of all people with a hope to either assuage or confirm his fear that Spike's ons were pure evil and wanted to kill them all in a bloody massacre. Either way Giles found Xander and Anya in the kitchen of the Summers house.
"Alexander Lavelle Harris, you are the most arrogant conceited dickhead I've ever met!" Anya screamed.
"I am not! Spike lives under this roof as well!" Xander retorted so very eloquently.
"I HATE YOU!"
"I HATE YOU!"
And of course the passionate kiss ensued.
Giles dropped his coffee cup, turned on his heel and walked out of the kitchen while throwing his hands in the air and muttering, "This house is going to the bleeding dogs."
--------------
In the Hyperion Hotel everyone was either brooding, or well, brooding. Wesley was sitting in the foyer in a vain attempt to keep Angel Investigations operating whilst brooding. The phone rang and Wes jumped up to answer it eagerly with a bouncy, "Hello, Angel Investigations, how can I help you? Oh, hello Giles, what is happening?"
On the other end a very exasperated Giles explained the situation. This was the whole 'Spike's sons are trying to kill us all in a bloody massacre and they have brainwashed everyone here.' And the response? The decision to launch a complex military operation to bring down the blonde haired blue eyed evil people.
---------------
"Harry, we have to go see Dumbledore," said Ron.
"You're right. Something bad has happened. What if Voldemort has her?"
"C'mon let's go!" The two began running higgly piggly to Dumbledore's office, "Acid pops!" Ron yelled and they ran up the stairs.
"Professor Dumbledore!" Harry called.
"Yes Harry? Ron?"
"Sir, it's Hermione, she disappeared, and we have to save her."
"Ms Granger is perfectly fine."
Some time later.
Harry and Ron looked at each other then back at Dumbledore, "Thanks Professor," they said in unison. They left Dumbledore's office and when they arrived back in the Entrance Hall Harry said, "There's something wrong. I'm Harry Potter. It's my job to save people and Hermione needs saving."
"And I'm Ronald Weasley. I'm your side-kick and I'll follow you into danger every time."
"Let's go."
---------------
An old homeless lady peered out into the dark night, waiting for two particular people who could change the world. The lady jumped to her feet as she heard two sets of footsteps approach the entrance to her alley. She crouched down as she waited for the two blonde-haired boys to pass her. As soon as they passed she began following them very loudly and clumsily. Before they'd gone two blocks the two blonde-haired boys knew from their extensive training that someone was following them. The rounded a corner and-WHAM! Dally had the old lady pinned against the wall of a building.
Dally initially looked shocked to find that the person who was following them was an old lady but quickly recovered and asked her, "What are you doing following us?"
The old lady looked defiantly at Dally and answered, "I am Meriath and I am here to recruit you; to make you join our order."
Dally and Ariel looked confused, but Ariel was overcome by curiosity and asked, "What order?"
Meriath looked at him incredulously, "Don't you know? The Order of the Phoenix."
"The Order of what?"
"The phoenix. But where is the other?"
"Other? Other what?"
"The other boy, you're brother."
"You mean Draco?"
"Yes, now where is he? All three of you need to begin your training for the Order."
"You still haven't explained what this order is."
"Take me to your brother. He will understand what I'm talking about. He will be able to explain it to you."
---------------
Wesley looked around the foyer of the Hyperion Hotel, his eyes resting on Angel, Lorne, Fred, Connor and Cordelia, "I'm glad you all came just like I asked you to. I know that it has been quite a tense time since Spike and his spawn of evil have left us, but we need to take some action." He looked at the Fang Gang assembled in front of him and continued with his rather stiff and British speech, "Spike and his spawn of evil, who from now on shall be code named 'evil' have reached Sunnydale. Giles has made a may day call and is requesting our immediate help." Wesley then produced a map of LA's road ways which led to Sunnydale and positioned it on a stand, he then produced a cane. With his map and cane in hand Wes straightened up and looked at them harshly, "We are here," he pointed his cane at LA, "and we need to be here," Wes then pointed at Sunnydale. "Tomorrow we will set out at 10:00 PM sharp and will meet with Giles on the outskirts of town. From there we will work out how to bring down evil. Any questions?"
There were no questions for Commander Wes-the-British-toff.
Wes nodded and said, "Go gather your things and prepare to make me proud."
---------------
"Psst! Cordy," Fred whispered.
Cordelia looked around and saw Fred gesturing to her, "Come on Cordy, quickly."
Cordy followed Fred into a room and looked at her, "What's wrong? What do you need me for?"
"Cordy we have to do something. We can't let the others kill Spike and the boys which is what I bet they want to do. We have to try and stop them, but how?"
"Oh, I know. We could pretend that we agree with Wesley and then we get to Sunnydale and tell Spike what's going on."
"You mean, bring them down from the inside?"
"That's exactly what I mean."
"Excellent," said Fred in a very Bill and Ted kind of way.
---------------
Hermione Granger awoke on the lounge of some stranger's home. She got up to have a look around but was interrupted when Draco came into the room, "Hermione, you're awake! How are you feeling?"
Hermione smiled half heartedly at him and replied, "I'm fine, I'd be better if I knew where I am and what I'm doing here."
"Well, you see-"
Draco's reply was cut off by Spike dragging two of his very disgruntled sons in by the ear, followed by Meriath. Spike sat them down on the lounge, ignoring Hermione's wide eyed stares. Spike then rounded on Dally, "What did you think you were doing and what do you think you are doing?"
Dally looked at him in disbelief, "What do you mean by 'what am I doing?'"
"Bringing home old ladies, you don't go around chatting up old married ladies."
Ariel started cacking himself and Dally looked out right murderous. Hermione turned to Draco slowly and said to him amidst the family argument, "Why are there three people who look exactly like you?"
"I'll take you outside and explain properly." Hermione nodded, still wide eyed and let herself be led to the porch.
---------------
"Okay, I get it now," said Hermione as she and Draco walked back into the lounge room. The looked at the group assembled there. Spike, the father; Dally and Ariel, the brothers; Buffy, the slayer; Giles the watcher; Xander the Illustrated Man; Anya the ex-demon; Dawn the cry-baby; Andrew the funnel cake lover; Willow the ex-evil wiccan; Oz the werewolf and an old lady named.
"Meriath?!" Draco and Hermione yelled together.
"Hello Draco," said Meriath, "How are you Hermione? You understand what's going on?"
"Um, yeah, everything except why you're here."
"Well, I'm here to recruit you, Draco and Hermione, as well as Ariel and Dally."
Spike got up and said to Meriath, "What do you mean you want to recruit my bloody sons? Why the hell would you want the silly buggers?"
Draco glanced briefly at his father and then did a double take as he took in his father's bloody nose, cut lip and over all dishevelled appearance, "What the hell happened to you?"
"Dally and I settled our differences," Spike gestured to Dally who was looking similarly dishevelled, bruised and bloody.
"Hem hem," Meriath said in an Umbridge sort of way, "Family problems aside, I need to recruit these boys, and the lovely lady for out most noble cause. So what do you say? Will you join?"
The three boys looked at each other and Dally answered for them, "No."
"What?!" shrieked Hermione, "Draco, you're not really saying no to the Order are you?"
Draco looked at her, "No I'm not. The Order needs us." Draco turned to Dally and Ariel and said, "You guys can say no if you want but I'm not." Finally he turned to Meriath, "Hermione and I will join."
"Hem hem, wonderful," she replied.
"Meriath, where's Dumbledore?" asked Hermione. "Shouldn't he be here?"
"Ah, well you see, Dumbledore has decided to take a holiday."
Hermione frowned, "He took a holiday? Where on earth to?"
"Oh, he went to Disneyland." All the people in the lounge room made 'oh's' of understanding, even if the world were about to end, anyone would take the time to go to Disneyland.
Draco turned to his brothers, "So, are you boys joining?"
Ariel's eyes brightened as he asked, "What do we get if we join?"
Meriath answered, "Well, you will be coming to England, free accommodation, travel and you might even get some fairy floss."
"That's it, I'm in," Ariel decided rashly, only joining for the promise of fairy floss.
Dally sighed in defeat, "I guess I'm joining as well."
"That's excellent, we-"
Spike interrupted Meriath, "Wait, I won't have my sons running off to sodding England with some poncy order. I got them out of their crappy universes and they're staying with me, here, in Sunnydale."
Andrew leant over to Xander, Anya and Dawn on the couch and asked, "Do you want me to make some pop corn to watch the show with?"
"Yes please," replied Xander.
"Meriath, why do we need to go back to England?" asked Hermione, trying to keep everyone calm.
"Hermione's right," said Draco, "Voldemort isn't going to stay in Britain and there's no way I'm going anywhere near Lucius."
"But Draco, Lucius is your father," Meriath calmly replied.
"No he's not. Spike is. And why do you want me to go back to him when you know he's a deatheater? You know very well that he's Voldemort's right hand man."
"Hem, hem. Draco the Order of the Phoenix needs spies in the dark lord's army."
"Like hell it does," Draco yelled extremely pissed off. "Snape is a spy, you don't need me. I will never join Voldemort for whatever reason. I few have to go back to England to join the order then I'm not going."
Meriath folded her arms and pouted, "Fine then, you can't be in the Order then."
Hermione pouted also and replied haughtily, "If Draco's not joining, then I'm not."
Ariel and Dally stood up, crossed their arms and said in unison, "And neither are we."
"Fine then, you shall suffer the wrath of me, the-wait. You'll suffer the wrath of-wait, no, they don't do that, damn," Meriath paused and looked around for inspiration, she picked up a pen, "You shall suffer the wrath of the pen! You will cower and run and hide and wish you were never born. All because of the pen!"
Oz stood up, "Could you just leave now?"
Meriath blinked and moved towards the front door but stuck her head around the doorway, "You are not getting your pen back."
Spike stood up and smirked, "So, what are we gonna do now?"
Xander answered, "Well, we could-"
But his answer was cut short by Wesley, decked in ninja clothes that crashed through the living room window with a karate kick, a karate yell and a pair of Mutant Ninja Turtles nun chucks.
Angel and Gunn jumped in next to him and all three took up ninja stances. Fred and Cordy walked up to the window and said, "Umm, we'll take the door."
Wes, Angel and Gunn began swinging their nun chucks around violently. Draco and Hermione began o feel a bit worried as Wes, Angel and Gunn were walking towards them. As one they pulled out their wands and yelled, "Stupefy!" Two red jets of light hit Angel and Gunn in the chest and they fell on the ground stiff as boards. Draco didn't see Wes coming but Hermione did and jumped in front of Draco. She yelled, "Stupefy!" just in time. Wes and the nun chuck froze just as the nun chuck was about to hit Hermione's cheek.
Draco and Hermione turned to Red and Cordelia, wands a t the ready. Fred and Cordelia held up their hands and Fred hurried to say something, "Hey, hey, hey, don't look at us. They're the ones who want you dead." She nodded towards the three stiff bodies on the floor.
"Oh, and him," Cordy added and threw her head towards Giles.
Buffy stalked towards Giles, "Why Giles? You're trying to kill Spike again. Why, why? Why do you hat me so much? Why?" Buffy collapsed on the ground bawling her eyes out. Giles was about to pounce on Dally but Spike hit him square in the jaw. Giles hit his head on the wall and was knocked unconscious. Again.
"Tie them up," said the self-appointed leader Oz.
---------------
Xander paced up and down the basement, waiting for Spike to get back from his break.
"Could you stop doing that?" asked Gunn.
Angel chipped in as well, "Yeah, you know that pacing is as clichéd as you can get."
Xander narrowed his eyes, "Do you really want me to show you the tattoo again?"
Angel shuddered, "God no."
"Oh come on. You're a vampire, be brave, you can handle it," said Wes.
Giles rolled his eyes, "You obviously haven't seen the tattoo yet."
"No, but I'm sure it's not that bad."
Angel replied defensively, "You try having yourself tattooed on a guy's leg."
"So, what are the little chickens up to now?" Spike sauntered into the basement with a smirk on his face.
"Well we're being bored to death by pacing man here," Gunn tried his best to gesture to the still moving Xander only using his head.
Spike leant into Gunn's face and gave him a smug smile, "Well after this you're not going to be bored."
---------------
Dawn walked down into the basement where Spike was getting ready to torture Angel a bi more by telling him more things about his precious Buffykins.
"Hiya Spikey," Dawn said, trying to be flirtatious.
"Hey pigeon. You come down to see the wonderful hair-gel-head being tortured to the point of insanity?"
"Only if you're going to torture him," Dawn batted her eyelashes at Spike.
"DAWN DUSK SUMMERS!" Buffy's voice came down the stairs and was followed by Buffy herself stampeding down the rickety stair case.
"Get away from my man," Buffy said in a very western movie kind of way.
"And what are you gonna do if I don't?" Dawn stepped in front of Spike and folded her arms.
"This," Buffy pushed Dawn to the ground, ran to Spike and hugged him tightly. Spike held her and smiled maliciously at Angel over Buffy's head. Angel gasped then fainted.
---------------
Meanwhile upstairs Andrew, Anya, Oz, Willow, Draco, Dally, Ariel, Hermione, Fred and Cordelia were upstairs playing a huge game of twister. Andrew spun the roulette and said to Anya, "Right hand red."
With a thump, Anya was out of the game. She got up and sat down next to Xander on the lounge, who said to her, "Welcome to the land of the inflexible people."
Anya replied, "I'm not inflexible, it's just everyone else, mucking up my concentration."
"Sure it is honey, sure it is."
Andrew watched the mass of twisted up people with a smile of pleasure, "You know, it's so good that we're doing something so wholesome and fun together. I reckon that this is a change for good, no more drunken-"
Dally, who was in extreme pain growled at him, "Spin the damn thing before I break your face."
"Okay, okay," whined Andrew. He spun, "Left foot blue."
"Aargh!" Dally came crashing down bringing Fred along with him.
Dally landed on top of Fred and said, "Hey there cutie." Fred got up and sat down on the lounge and blushed.
"Okay Draco," said Andrew, "Left hand green."
Draco moved and found himself looking straight down at Hermione, "Uh, hey there Granger," he said with a slight pink tinge in his cheeks.
"Malfoy, are you blushing?"
"No!"
"Hermione, right hand yellow." Hermione tried to move but hit Draco instead. The two of them rolled off the plastic and Hermione ended up on top of Draco.
Andrew looked at them over the top of his roulette board and said in his nasal voice, "I think you two may be out."
Dally looked at him condescendingly and said, "No, they're not."
"Well actually-"
Xander decided that it was time to step in and said, "Shut up."
Suddenly, everyone's attention was turned towards the voice outside. "Oh my lord, I never thought we'd get here. Hello? Anybody home?"
Oz, the leader, spoke up, "Yeah, come in."
In burst Lorne and a very bedraggled looking Connor to find a lounge room full of people either staring at them or playing twister. As Connor spied Cordelia playing twister with Ariel, Oz and Willow he thought, 'This is the true definition of Hell.'
A/N: hey, no body reads this thing anyway so I (not pencil gal this time, it's the author formerly known as ginger ninja, Broadway Betty) get to say whatever the hell I want. So, review this damn thing, even if you think it's the worst piece of writing on the earth, just review it. If you flame us though, we will extract revenge on you, a rather painful and embarrassing revenge I assure you. And the reason we keep on posting this thing? We have fun writing it; maths is so much brighter thanks to something else.
Apart from that Pencil Gal and I (Broadway Betty) are claiming rights on the use of twister as a romance fuelling plot bunny, we encourage others to use it, but we came up with the idea of it; we'd just like you to acknowledge that fact.