Wonderwall
By tearsofher
Disclaimer: don't own characters, just the plot.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hurtful Words
Hermione walked towards the lake, and the figure standing before it. She sighed, as she remembered the owl he had sent her during breakfast. He wanted to meet her by the lake, when all their classes had ended. Of course, without hesitation, she said yes. They both seemed distant lately, ever since Ron had confronted her about Harry.. And what he had asked her to give up. She didn't know who Ron thought he was, asking her to let Draco go.. Asking her to give up the single best thing that had ever happened to her.
Maybe it was their agendas, maybe they were both lost in their thoughts and didn't want to sort them all out yet, but over the past few days.. She sighed. As she walked nearer to him, she felt those butterflies return, and her heart pounding in her chest.
He had taken off his robe, and set it by the tree. His hands were in his pockets, with his tie loose and his vest set with his robe by the trunk. He seemed at ease, but deep in thought. Hermione was only but a foot from him now. She paused, but kept walking until she was beside him.
"Hey," she said quietly to him, and she observed the sight he seemed to be captivated by. It was breathtaking, and it seemed surreal, almost. It seemed as if the sun was glazed in a sheer pink, dipped into the far edge of the lake. It set off a glow, an aura.. She felt at peace, just looking at it. It wasn't an ordinary sight, yet it seemed so unnatural, something so beautiful.
Draco kept his eyes on the sunset, while feeling those same butterflies erupt in his stomach. He felt her warmth spread to him, blanketing him from outside to in. He recognized this feeling; it was as if he had dipped in a holy, misty stream that warmed his soul to the very last drop. Not even the most beautiful or stunning sunset could ever give him that feeling.
"How are you?" She asked, her voice small and gentle. He smiled faintly, his eyes unwavering on the sunset.
"I'm fine," he said quietly. Hermione looked down, but then looked back at him again. There was a silvery blonde strand that had come loose, and it fell across his face. His hair shone, even with the hazy light, making him seem as if some kind of God that had been sent down here. His dark silver eyes glittered from the bright rays, and she felt as if the silence was hammering her down.
"How's everything with you?" He asked her, quietly. His question took her a while to answer, because she couldn't say 'fine.' Everything wasn't fine. No, it wasn't. Everything was just fine when she was around him, but once they parted.. Reality crashed down on her once again. And she couldn't take it. That crushing, sinking feeling whenever she was in the same room with her two ex-best friends. Or whenever she was alone with her thoughts that seemed to attack her, pierce through her. She sighed; she didn't know how to answer his question.
"Ron, he spoke to me in the library," she said, softly. She swallowed hard. She looked at him, searching for any sign of emotion.
"He asked me.. He asked me to give you up."
Draco felt that compressing feeling in his chest, and it seemed as if something was taking over.. Something tapping into his bloodstream, something cold. Something cold, and ruthless. He didn't know what it was. But he could feel his insides crumble, but his silver gaze become fierce and hard. He could feel his hands clench into fists inside his pockets. He was angry. Why? He searched for the answer but it chose to remain hidden. Maybe he was overwhelmed by his feelings for her, the way they seemed to control him, the way it overtook his body. Maybe he was just tired of her two bloody friends always finding a way to make him doubt, make her doubt their relationship. Maybe he was just tired of her mentioning her two friends, and hearing that sad tone in her voice, as if guilty to ever fall in love with him. Maybe she didn't want to be with him. Maybe she was guilty, and she was regretting ever.. Ever being with him. Before he could realize it, he had spoken.
"Why do you let them do this to you?" He suddenly asked her, his voice hard and firm. Hermione was shocked at his tone; it seemed as if he was trying to compress his anger.
"What do you mean?" She asked him. He suddenly turned to her, his eyes blazing, flashing.
"Why do you let them ask you all these bloody questions, about us? I don't even know what you're still doing with them! Haven't they hurt you enough?! Why do you let them try to convince you that I'm the worst thing that's ever happened to you and ever will?!"
Hermione couldn't find the words to say. She was overwhelmed by his words.. What did he mean?
"They're my friends, Draco," she managed to choke out.
"Well, I'd say you've got the most bloody wonderful friends in the world," he said, angrily and sarcastically.
"Why are you doing this?" She asked him, confused and frustrated by his remarks.
"Why?! You want to know why?! Because I'm bloody tired of listening to you go on about your prick-faced friends, hanging on to them even though all they've tried to do is make you doubt us! I'm tired of seeing you cry every time they come up in our conversations, because they aren't even worth your tears, Hermione! If they were really your friends, they would let you be with me, let you be happy!"
Hermione felt something pierce through her chest, and she felt that same restricted feeling in her lungs, and it was so hard to swallow.. Even to breathe. Was this how he really felt? She felt her eyes sting with tears.
"Draco, they've been with me all these past years, I can't just give them up just like that," her voice wavering and breaking.
"And yet it came to them with so much ease when they chose to ignore you," he said, his words striking her so hard and painfully.
"They didn't choose to ignore me," she said through her tears.
"Well then, tell me a good reason why they couldn't spare a minute of their oh so busy agenda to say at least a 'hi' to you, or even a 'how are you doing'?!" His voice rose, and she could feel herself weaken, crumbling under his penetrating gaze. "Tell me!" He yelled at her. "Because I want to bloody know!"
Hermione felt tears flood down her cheeks, and she could taste them in her mouth. They were salty and sweet. Bittersweet.
"You don't realize how much they've hurt you, Hermione," he said. "You spend so much of your time trying to convince yourself that they'll always be there, and that they won't let you fall. They'll only let you down when you need them the most."
"How would you know, Draco?!" She screamed, trying to rid of the heavy weight upon her heart. "It's not like you've ever had any real friends!" Draco's eyes glittered angrily.
"Maybe not, but I'm better off being alone than to have some fake friends that convince me I could count on them, only to kick me when I'm already on the ground."
Hermione ran, as she burst into sobs. Her feet felt stiff and wobbly, but she ran, and ran. She couldn't hear Draco's cries if he was calling out to her. There was a white, rushing noise deafening her ears. She ran through the halls, her rapid footsteps echoing through the walls, while her sobs were fighting to just come out. She managed to strangle or muffle them, but it felt as if her heart was going to explode.
Part of her wished it would, and leave her in pieces. That way she wouldn't have to choose, that way she wouldn't feel this puncturing white hot pain she felt inside her chest. That way she wouldn't have to deal with this.
That way she didn't have to find a solution, that way everything would be finally solved. For her. Everything, all this, her problems, Harry, it would all be solved. Because then she wouldn't have to deal with it, she could just leave it all behind. It wouldn't be her problem anymore.
By tearsofher
Disclaimer: don't own characters, just the plot.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hurtful Words
Hermione walked towards the lake, and the figure standing before it. She sighed, as she remembered the owl he had sent her during breakfast. He wanted to meet her by the lake, when all their classes had ended. Of course, without hesitation, she said yes. They both seemed distant lately, ever since Ron had confronted her about Harry.. And what he had asked her to give up. She didn't know who Ron thought he was, asking her to let Draco go.. Asking her to give up the single best thing that had ever happened to her.
Maybe it was their agendas, maybe they were both lost in their thoughts and didn't want to sort them all out yet, but over the past few days.. She sighed. As she walked nearer to him, she felt those butterflies return, and her heart pounding in her chest.
He had taken off his robe, and set it by the tree. His hands were in his pockets, with his tie loose and his vest set with his robe by the trunk. He seemed at ease, but deep in thought. Hermione was only but a foot from him now. She paused, but kept walking until she was beside him.
"Hey," she said quietly to him, and she observed the sight he seemed to be captivated by. It was breathtaking, and it seemed surreal, almost. It seemed as if the sun was glazed in a sheer pink, dipped into the far edge of the lake. It set off a glow, an aura.. She felt at peace, just looking at it. It wasn't an ordinary sight, yet it seemed so unnatural, something so beautiful.
Draco kept his eyes on the sunset, while feeling those same butterflies erupt in his stomach. He felt her warmth spread to him, blanketing him from outside to in. He recognized this feeling; it was as if he had dipped in a holy, misty stream that warmed his soul to the very last drop. Not even the most beautiful or stunning sunset could ever give him that feeling.
"How are you?" She asked, her voice small and gentle. He smiled faintly, his eyes unwavering on the sunset.
"I'm fine," he said quietly. Hermione looked down, but then looked back at him again. There was a silvery blonde strand that had come loose, and it fell across his face. His hair shone, even with the hazy light, making him seem as if some kind of God that had been sent down here. His dark silver eyes glittered from the bright rays, and she felt as if the silence was hammering her down.
"How's everything with you?" He asked her, quietly. His question took her a while to answer, because she couldn't say 'fine.' Everything wasn't fine. No, it wasn't. Everything was just fine when she was around him, but once they parted.. Reality crashed down on her once again. And she couldn't take it. That crushing, sinking feeling whenever she was in the same room with her two ex-best friends. Or whenever she was alone with her thoughts that seemed to attack her, pierce through her. She sighed; she didn't know how to answer his question.
"Ron, he spoke to me in the library," she said, softly. She swallowed hard. She looked at him, searching for any sign of emotion.
"He asked me.. He asked me to give you up."
Draco felt that compressing feeling in his chest, and it seemed as if something was taking over.. Something tapping into his bloodstream, something cold. Something cold, and ruthless. He didn't know what it was. But he could feel his insides crumble, but his silver gaze become fierce and hard. He could feel his hands clench into fists inside his pockets. He was angry. Why? He searched for the answer but it chose to remain hidden. Maybe he was overwhelmed by his feelings for her, the way they seemed to control him, the way it overtook his body. Maybe he was just tired of her two bloody friends always finding a way to make him doubt, make her doubt their relationship. Maybe he was just tired of her mentioning her two friends, and hearing that sad tone in her voice, as if guilty to ever fall in love with him. Maybe she didn't want to be with him. Maybe she was guilty, and she was regretting ever.. Ever being with him. Before he could realize it, he had spoken.
"Why do you let them do this to you?" He suddenly asked her, his voice hard and firm. Hermione was shocked at his tone; it seemed as if he was trying to compress his anger.
"What do you mean?" She asked him. He suddenly turned to her, his eyes blazing, flashing.
"Why do you let them ask you all these bloody questions, about us? I don't even know what you're still doing with them! Haven't they hurt you enough?! Why do you let them try to convince you that I'm the worst thing that's ever happened to you and ever will?!"
Hermione couldn't find the words to say. She was overwhelmed by his words.. What did he mean?
"They're my friends, Draco," she managed to choke out.
"Well, I'd say you've got the most bloody wonderful friends in the world," he said, angrily and sarcastically.
"Why are you doing this?" She asked him, confused and frustrated by his remarks.
"Why?! You want to know why?! Because I'm bloody tired of listening to you go on about your prick-faced friends, hanging on to them even though all they've tried to do is make you doubt us! I'm tired of seeing you cry every time they come up in our conversations, because they aren't even worth your tears, Hermione! If they were really your friends, they would let you be with me, let you be happy!"
Hermione felt something pierce through her chest, and she felt that same restricted feeling in her lungs, and it was so hard to swallow.. Even to breathe. Was this how he really felt? She felt her eyes sting with tears.
"Draco, they've been with me all these past years, I can't just give them up just like that," her voice wavering and breaking.
"And yet it came to them with so much ease when they chose to ignore you," he said, his words striking her so hard and painfully.
"They didn't choose to ignore me," she said through her tears.
"Well then, tell me a good reason why they couldn't spare a minute of their oh so busy agenda to say at least a 'hi' to you, or even a 'how are you doing'?!" His voice rose, and she could feel herself weaken, crumbling under his penetrating gaze. "Tell me!" He yelled at her. "Because I want to bloody know!"
Hermione felt tears flood down her cheeks, and she could taste them in her mouth. They were salty and sweet. Bittersweet.
"You don't realize how much they've hurt you, Hermione," he said. "You spend so much of your time trying to convince yourself that they'll always be there, and that they won't let you fall. They'll only let you down when you need them the most."
"How would you know, Draco?!" She screamed, trying to rid of the heavy weight upon her heart. "It's not like you've ever had any real friends!" Draco's eyes glittered angrily.
"Maybe not, but I'm better off being alone than to have some fake friends that convince me I could count on them, only to kick me when I'm already on the ground."
Hermione ran, as she burst into sobs. Her feet felt stiff and wobbly, but she ran, and ran. She couldn't hear Draco's cries if he was calling out to her. There was a white, rushing noise deafening her ears. She ran through the halls, her rapid footsteps echoing through the walls, while her sobs were fighting to just come out. She managed to strangle or muffle them, but it felt as if her heart was going to explode.
Part of her wished it would, and leave her in pieces. That way she wouldn't have to choose, that way she wouldn't feel this puncturing white hot pain she felt inside her chest. That way she wouldn't have to deal with this.
That way she didn't have to find a solution, that way everything would be finally solved. For her. Everything, all this, her problems, Harry, it would all be solved. Because then she wouldn't have to deal with it, she could just leave it all behind. It wouldn't be her problem anymore.