Series: Tokyo Babylon, before the first tankubon.
Rating: PG for shonen-ai and horrible misuse of a sumeragi (this chapter R for mild adult situations)
Disclaimer: CLAMP owns Tokyo Babylon, I don't. The muses made me do it.

Notes: This was suprisingly hard for me to write - I'm sorry if it seems a little bit rushed. ...And if you're dissatisfied with the ending, blame Sei-chan. He's got so many plans, and it he got to the good stuff now, he wouldn't be able to put them into action seducing Subaru-kun. And yeah, I suck at writing the... physical stuff. Sorry, all!



What Dreams May Come - Chapter 4

It was after ten when Subaru finally returned to his apartment, and after midnight when he'd showered and settled into his bedroom. Worrying always made him restless. Since Tamasaki-sensei hadn't returned to the lab, he and Hokuto had been forced to leave without talking to him about the strange situation, and there was just something so wrong about the whole idea…

It was disconcerting that Tamasaki-sensei hadn't come back.

Subaru stared unseeingly into the darkness, and his mind ran in lazy circles. Hokuto had already left; without her constant reassurance, he was prone to self-doubt. He wondered if he'd done something wrong, something which had made the man uncomfortable? It was possible he'd just thought he as a professional onmyouji could handle it, but it turned out he hadn't been able to.

He'd failed.

Subaru swallowed. This wasn't his first job on his own, but it was the first one in his leadership of the clan, and he had not been able to finish it. What would Obaa-sama say? She would lecture him on responsibility and finishing what you start, no doubt. His eyes pricked uncomfortably, and he shifted under his covers.

He felt totally and completely alone.

---

Stealthily as a panther, Seishirou wound his way through his prey's apartment. He inspected the items he passed carefully and nonchalantly, noticing with amusement how cute it was that the milk pitcher was in the shape of a cow. His table was strewn with animal hobbyist magazines.

There was a scribbled note next to an open page describing care for a kitten, "A calico would be so cute! Let's go to the clinic to adopt one this weekend!! – Nee-sama". There was even a cartoon-like sketch of a cat's face, complete with large, round eyes, pointed ears, and whiskers. Seishirou couldn't help but smile; he absorbed the information and pocketed it in his mind for further use.

He was drawn to the soft sounds coming from the back of the apartment, down a short hallway. The bedroom, undoubtedly. He crept slowly and deliberately toward his quarry, considering the whimpering noises; was Subaru-kun upset?

He peered through a small gap silently pressed open in the door. Subaru was on his side, facing the far wall, and Seishirou took this as an invitation; he stepped in.

Should he be caught, he would have no excuse, but this was of little importance. It had never mattered in the past. Subaru had always been more than a little surprised to find a stranger in his bedroom, but convinced it was a dream, accepted whatever happened with a certain detachment.

One gloved hand reached up to dry his face as he rolled over and faced the dark onmyouji. Subaru wore gloves to bed now, to possibly protect himself from their nighttime encounters?

Very cute, Subaru-kun.

Seishirou shifted his containment maboroshi from the inky, ethereal black to a warm spring afternoon.

With a thought, Subaru was now lying at the roots of a large tree, dressed in simple black and gray. The sun made light patterns through the leaves which sprinkled the surrounding grass, and somewhere far off, a bird was thankful for the sunshine.

Subaru inhaled the new smell. It was earthy and clean. He was awake, yet his eyes were closed, and he was still feeling the full effects of his self-doubt. His cheeks were now dry, and he was no longer under the cover of his blanket. He opened his eyes, slowly, adjusting to the ambient brightness.

There was a figure about ten feet from him, lounging on a crimson picnic blanket. Immediately Subaru recognized the man and blushed furiously.

Seishirou barely restrained a chuckle. So the kid did remember something of their last encounter, if only vague impressions and emotions. He sat up slightly, invitingly.

"Don't be so embarrassed, come over here and have something to eat, won't you?"

Subaru could only nod. He wasn't sure what to expect, so he took refuge in following the request. There was a lot of food, and Subaru couldn't remember eating since before the disaster at the lab. He moved incautiously toward the spread. It didn't matter if the figure was a threat or not; he was still lightheaded from the tears, and he found he was acutely hungry...

Of course, the boy was beautiful. But compounded with the simple wardrobe choice, the sob-reddened lips, and tear-deepened eyes, Seishirou found himself, for once, breathless. He could see the subtle lines of Subaru's frame. He'd retained his cute eyes from his childhood, but the aura around him was more complex, more darkly interesting.

He wanted to possess this, to hold it in his hands, to understand it completely and be able to do with it what he wished. As it was now, the boy eluded him, was just slightly out of his reach. He could possess the young man physically if he wished, but the more fragile, delicate emotional layers were still kept from his grasp. He wanted. He passionately desired, but could not have.

And he was staring.

Subaru self-consciously bit down on a sandwich triangle and licked his lips of the residue mayonnaise. Food helped him feel better; it took the edge off his thoughts and made him more at ease with the man he was with.
Yet the stranger just blinked.

Subaru smiled with the intention of coaxing something out of his strange company. He began awkwardly, but gave diplomacy a valiant try.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think I know your name."

The man blinked; he was obviously not expecting the question. Nor had he prepared any answer. Best to go with the truth in this circumstance… "You can call me Seishirou, if you'd like," came the half-hesitant, yet fluid voice.

Subaru looked at the man he was with as if it were the first time, though neither of them knew that to be true.

Seishirou. A gentle-looking man dressed in a simple short-sleeved cotton button-down and black dress pants. This was nothing like his previous dreams, concluded Subaru with a half sigh, because what he remembered of the man who kissed him was his overpoweringly controlling nature. The casual man who was now nibbling on a cracker was nothing like that, but something told him they were the same figure.

Yet the thought that this friendly man and the 'Sakurazukamori' were the same didn't inspire fear in Subaru; instead, it made him more relaxed. He didn't pose any threat right now, and Subaru was okay with that. It was a pleasant dream, and the sandwiches were rather tasty.

Subaru reached for a second sandwich the same time the other did, and their hands collided. Seishirou's hand actually grasped Subaru's by mistake.

The effect was violent and instantaneous.

Subaru grabbed his hand back reflexively, pulling the man off balance and toward him, and Subaru found himself pinned against the thin fabric of the blanket, chest to chest with the larger figure.

Thump.

His heart raced, his blood rushed. He was more embarrassed than words could say. If he'd opened his mouth, he would have stuttered horribly and just embarrassed himself more.

But Subaru didn't move to push the man away from him.

On one level, Subaru actually enjoyed the contact, the human touch, and was gratified by the weight. He was warm, and he smelled like flowers and forest, electricity and rain. It was strange… yet oddly familiar.

It was… nice.

Seishirou, for his part, was more than a little surprised. He hadn't expected to end up in this position so quickly, but he wasn't going to argue with the fates. Having Subaru under him was not something he was going to protest.

Subaru was tense, and Seishirou knew just the way to make the boy relax…

Subaru grew limp. Seishirou's soft, inquisitive pressure began at the corners of his mouth, then claimed him fully, soft tongue connecting with sweetly parting lips. It was too much for Subaru's senses to handle, so he surrendered to the moment, shuddering in guilty pleasure.

He found his hands circling the man's neck and pushing up through his hair. Tongue met tongue in electric contact; the kiss was raw passion sheathed in silk, desire restrained for the sake of the other.

It was sweet, searching, endless.

Seishirou pulled away first, withdrawing from the warmth and softness. Subaru gave a soft whimper of regret – somehow, that had felt right. He wanted more of that contact… but Seishirou was pulling away.

Subaru looked pained. His dilated eyes searched the man's face, and his husky voice broke with desire. "Why…?"

Seishirou got up and settled himself against the tree. "I thought you might be hungry, still." He couldn't keep a smirk out of his voice.

"Seishirou-san…!"

"You're not yourself right now. And besides, you're half starved. Here, try tasting this for me." He'd grabbed a bunch of dark purple grapes from the basket, with every intention of having Subaru eat some fresh fruit.

"Mou…" If Seishirou was going to torture him, then he could torture Seishirou right back, and dammit, he needed the contact.

He got up, settled into Seishirou's lap, and pressed his back against his chest. His hips settled just in front of Seishirou's. He looked over his shoulder into the eyes wide with amused surprise; their lips were only inches apart. Subaru could feel the older man's heartbeat, could feel his breath quicken. Much better.

"You're right. I am hungry. …Do you think you can help?" His voice suggested the fruit, but his gaze suggested otherwise.

"Hmm. You know, I'm not sure." He pressed a single grape against Subaru's mouth. Subaru took it between his teeth, accepting its sweetness. It was, in fact, delicious. He swallowed, delighting in the slightly tangy flavor.

"More…" came the breathy request, to which Seishirou kindly obliged. This time, he pulled Seishirou's thumb tip into his mouth as well, and began sucking, brushing his tongue against the sensitized skin.

Most amusing.

Seishirou's right hand migrated to Subaru's stomach, running over the lightly quivering muscles, tracing patterns over the butter soft material. His lips found Subaru's ear, and he nibbled lightly to see what kind of reaction he could get.

He was delighted to hear a throaty moan.

Encouraged, he traced his fingers gradually lower, past the hem of the loose shirt to hover just barely over the growing need presented to him.

"Please…" He was embarrassed, but desire and lust won out. "Please, Seishirou-san…"

"You're very forward, aren't you?"

"Only with," he looked up into the warm brown stare, blushing only slightly. "Only with what I want."

No. It was too fast. Happening too quickly. If he took Subaru now, like Subaru obviously wanted, there wouldn't be much fun in the game.

No, the fire needed to smolder to burn its fuel to ashes; a flash-fire only claimed the exterior.

He wanted *all* of Subaru.

Why was Subaru placing trust in him so readily? It was misguided, and Seishirou was therefore obligated to correct him. "You wanted to help Tamasaki-sensei, didn't you?"

Subaru blinked, "Maa…" not questioning how Seishirou knew. It really didn't matter, anyway.

"How did that work out?"

He sighed audibly. "Saa… kind of failed, I guess."

"What if I told you that I was the one who finally... helped him?" He chuckled against Subaru's shoulder-blades.

"Eh?"

"You never did meet back up with him, did you?"

Subaru could only stare.

"Because Tamasaki Kuroda is dead."

"Uso… that can't be right." Subaru frowned. "Why are you telling me this?"

"I killed him, with these two hands," one of which snaked up to Subaru's throat, holding his lower windpipe between thumb and forefinger, at the sensitive juncture between neck and collarbone.

Memory flooded over Subaru's consciousness, and Subaru convulsed with horror. This was the same figure from several nights ago - there was no doubt about it now. He gulped, and the pressure increased, straining against his jugular.

"And I could kill you now, if I wanted," purred the voice behind him.

Subaru couldn't get enough air.

He coughed violently. The world grew fuzzy and colorful before his eyes.

"Why shouldn't I, after all… I'm a murderer by choice, with blood as cold as ice. Can you still say that this is what you want?" He scoffed.

Subaru was fading. With one shaky hand, he reached down and met Seishirou's, clasping it tightly. It was a gesture of trust, of assurance. Seishirou was disgusted. He pushed Subaru down, forcing him into unconsciousness, and he took down the Maboroshi.

The little bastard.

He didn't know what he was getting himself into. Didn't know what he was asking for. Seishirou left the apartment, turning on his heel and heading for the front door. "You really should be more careful, you know," he spit acidly into the darkness.


-----


Subaru: *blushing furiously*
Gray: "Oh, you know you liked it."
Subaru: *tears forming* "But why doesn't he *want* me? He left me, threatened to kill me... I thought he wanted me?"
Gray: *sigh* "You know, he's scared. But don't tell him I said that... I'll end up as tree food."
Subaru: "Mou... scared of what? I really suck in this fic. No power, no common sense, no nothing. I'm not much of a threat, am I?"
Gray: "Boy's got a point. Sorry, Su-chan."

Gray: "Seishirou... I don't even want to ask why you did that."
Seishirou: "Did what?"
Gray: *jaw falls* "Strangling him?"
Seishirou: Oh. ...Um, my bad?"
Gray: "Impossible. I need to quit trying to make sense out of you."