~ ` ~ ` ~ ` ~

Chapter 3

~ ` ~ ` ~ ` ~

Jou's POV

I can't believe that you're at it again. Not that I don't admire the view but… Damn I wish it were me there instead of him.

You look so relaxed in his arms. It's as if his hands can work magic on your body. Why do you have to be so tense around me? I've known you for a longer time. Can't you understand why I do what I do?

He's known you for, what? Three weeks now? And the two of you are so…so…close. Damn. I've been trying to figure out what makes the two of you tick and I'm still drawing a blank. What is it with the two of you? You don't talk to each other. You barely look at each other and yet you're so…so…close!! Arrghhh!!

I'll admit, in the area of looks, he's got me beat. I mean look at him. He's like…what…one-seventy-five shortie… ok, ok so at one seventy-eight I don't exactly tower over him, but come on. He looks so soft, so fragile, like his gonna break if ya touch 'im wrong. Me? I'm a lot tougher. I've got muscles and I don't look overly muscular so I look hot, but normal. And girls go crazy over that. Some guys do to. Maybe it's not your type?

Still, does he have to fit so perfectly with you? I mean you ARE one head taller than him, and he's so…so… scrawny…I'm not exactly buff, but at least I don't look anorexic. And look at his hair. It's gray, like gramp's. and his eyes, they're this creepy unnatural gold. And he doesn't blink!! Ok…maybe he doesn't blink a lot, but I mean, the guy's gotta blink sometime right? I've never seen him blink and I spend a lot of time watching hi…

Got me beat in looks? As if.

Ok smarts wise, I'll have to say he is way smarter than me. Almost as smart as you. Maybe that's why you spend so much time together. But that's not true. Yuugi and Ryou are way smarter than me, and yet we're always hanging around together. Maybe it's because we don't act like we know everything, which I'm sure you probably do.

As for personality, I've definitely got him beat there. I'm funny, I'm friendly, I share, I protect my friends, I'm easy to get along with, I care for my family, I support my buddies through their good and bad times, I'm a good loser, I'm trustworthy, I'm nice, I'm kind, I love animals, I recycle, I'm a good duelist…so what's so bad about me?

…

Ok…

Fine…

I have a short temper, I get ticked when people pick on my friends, I don't study, I play to much,  I suffer from a minor self-esteem problem, I over estimate myself and…

No one's perfect…

Well at least I have good points  and bad ones. That guy…it's like…he's stone or something. He's like a statue by Michelangelo, he's too perfect. He looks perfect, he acts perfect. If anything, his skill over his emotional control is amazing, but even then, it cannot surpass yours. Because occasionally I see him get a little stressed or sometimes a little surprised, but that's mostly because of you.

I've seen the way you act around each other when you think on one else is looking.  You don't exchange words, or looks for that matter. You just touch. Sometimes, when the two of you are early, and alone, in the classroom, you'd hug him from behind, you'd rest your cheek on his shoulder and be perfectly content to remain there. I've seen how he'd reach a hand up and stroke your face. Tracing a trail from your cheeks to your chin. Then, he'd turn a bit and kiss you lightly. After which the two of you would cuddle and stay that way until someone nearly walks in on you.

I've noticed that you and only you can talk to him without the use of words and he you. What is this curious understanding that you two have? I want to know. I want to understand.

But you won't let me. You don't like me do you? Do you know it hurts? That I 'bark' because I don't want you to know that it hurts that bad. I get into countless arguments with you just so I can get your attention. I do stupid things so that you'll notice me. But it never works does it? Fairy tales are just that. Fairy tales. Happily ever after-s are not for the real world.

Ryou knows how I feel. He's always known I think. He's tried to talk me out of this…this…campaign but I'm not giving up and he's supportive enough to help me. Don't know what I'd do without him. Contrary to common belief, neither Honda nor Yuugi nor Yami are my best friends. Ryou is, and strangely enough, I get along great with Bakura as well. He's not as bad as people like to think, neither is Malik nor Marik. Bet you didn't know that.

What does Mokuba think of him then? Is he even aware of what you two have? I'll bet he's probably supportive of you because you're his older brother and not because he likes him. He probably hates him as much as I do. Taking away your attention from us like that.

I feel a strange heat cross my face as he leans in to kiss you from behind you. Do you know that you look so adorable when you blush? You look so innocent and it's as if all your emotions are put on display. You stand up, reveling more of your prefect body as your school shirt slips down your shoulders, buttons undone from his earlier massage. You turn to hold him and he melts in your arms, like butter. His arms wrap around you, holding you close as you grasp his hair to tilt his head up for another kiss, causing him to tremble.

That's the effect you have on people. You make them weak in the knees. Did you know that? Bet you didn't.

I watch the two of you, a familiar pain in my chest.

I'm jealous, and I know it.

I'm jealous of the fact that he sits next to you.

Of the fact that you 'talk' to him.

Of the fact that you 'look' at him.

Of the fact that he can touch you.

Of the fact that he can kiss you.

Of the fact that you pay attention to him.

Of the fact that you probably love him.

But most of all…

Most of all…

But most of all I'm jealous of the fact that he is the one that will hear you whisper 'I love you' into his ear.

I turn away, unable to watch as the two of you deepen your embrace. You'll probably go over to his place, so that Mokuba won't find out, if he doesn't already know.

My face feels wet. It's not raining…so…oh yeah…its called crying. I leaned against the door outside the classroom and slid to the ground. Now my shirt is wet as well. Isn't that funny? I use to hate you, and now I love you. What a cliché. I laugh weakly to myself as I bring my knees closer to my chest, hugging them for comfort. Ryou will find me soon enough, when I don't turn up for our tutoring session.

You see, I went back to get my book that I left in class. I wanted to ace the next test to prove to you that I wasn't as stupid as you thought I was. Guess what else I picked up. Ha…I start to sob as I start to replay all the insults you've said to me, they hurt. I'm starting to get noisy, but that's ok, you probably won't hear me through all the noise you're making anyway.

Oh god…I hope Ryou comes soon.