Wonderwall
By tearsofher
Disclaimer: don't own characters, just the plot.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
well, here it is. The last installments of 'Wonderwall.' But I think its safe to tell you that there WILL BE ONE MORE CHAPTER AFTER THIS. I want to thank all of the wonderful reviewers, and also Lalita22, Leslieglady, lizziemalfoy (I am so sorry if I misspelled it) and all of those who have been so loyal and encouraging. It made me really happy to see you guys review for each chapter. I just wanted you to know that it hasn't gone on unnoticed.
Thank you to my amazing cousins Joanne and CB, and my friends Rubie, Rita, Ann and Arianne. To all of you, my reviewers, cousins and friends, this is for you.
Just to tell you, this chapter is months after 'Clear Skies and Gentle Breezes.' I wrote this days ago, but ff.net was having problems, and I couldn't login. But, nonetheless, I'm sorry I made you wait so long.
Bye for now.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The Future
Hermione could feel the chilly breeze comb through her hair, as she closed her eyes and listened, silent. She could feel a pair of strong arms around her, as she heard the faint beating of his heart underneath his shirt. She smiled faintly, as she felt his arms tighten around her waist. She could feel his soft breaths tickling her neck, her skin tingling pleasantly from his contact.
But deep down, she felt a tear of guilt ripping through.
Draco held her closely, as her small, warm body leaned against his. He could smell the fragrant scent of her hair, the faint trace of warm vanilla on her smooth, skin. He could hear the leaves of the tree lending its shade to them rustling, moving to the wind. The breeze kissed his skin, as he could feel his soul being rejuvenated somehow. Perhaps it was because for the first time, he felt at peace, with Hermione in his arms. The wind blowing gently, holding her as he felt like he could never let go. For once, his mind wasn't troubled with such vast worries, or thoughts. Even if he had been, it was all gone now. For when he was with Hermione, he felt all his worries fade away. His moments with her, holding her against him, he felt as if nothing could interfere any longer. They were in their own world, their fantasy. And they were living it.
They were to graduate in about a few more weeks, and he felt it was essential to spend as much time with her as possible. Mostly they would just meet up here, outside in their free time, or in the common room. They would talk, but most of the time, they would just hold each other, neither of them uttering a word. Because they truly didn't need to, at times such as these. Words were already too unnecessary. They knew what they were both feeling, how they felt. They didn't need to clarify it, to say any of it. They both knew, deep down.
Hermione laid her hands on Draco's, entwining her fingers with his. He pulled her closer. He didn't want to admit it, but he was worried, thinking about her when they were apart. He thought about what she would do over the summer, and what she would do, a life free of Hogwarts. A life free of him. They hadn't talked about the summer, what they were planning to do with their time, and their time after that. Draco avoided the subject, especially when she had brought it up a few months ago. He didn't know what to say. What was he to do after Hogwarts? What did he want to become? He didn't know. He hadn't known time would rush by so fast, all those times he had skipped on thinking about his future. Yes, he thought about the future. But not his future. Ever since his father had been sent to Azkaban, a few years back, he didn't really care for the future anymore. He had tried thinking about it, but it was so weightless, his thoughts were so empty, so vacant. It could never occupy his mind for more than a few mere seconds, forgetting all about it after that. His future wasn't a big deal for him. It hadn't been. But now, just a few more weeks until he was out of Hogwarts, he felt rushed to think about his future, almost forced. And when he closed his eyes and concentrated, and tried to visualize how his future would be...
He saw himself. With Hermione. Happy, satisfied and content.
His future. He wanted to be with Hermione. To feel how he felt now, right at his moments he was with her, all the time. He wanted to be with her. Maybe forever, the rest of the days left in his future. He didn't know how he would react if he had to let her go, be apart from her so she could live a normal muggle life. Because she wasn't a normal muggle. She was so much more, more than anyone could ever dream of. She meant so much more, to him. What if he did have to let her go?
He wouldn't.
He couldn't.
Draco leaned in closer, holding her tightly.
"I don't know if I can let you go," he whispered to her. Hermione opened her eyes, as she heard his words. She smiled faintly, but it didn't reach her eyes. She held Draco's hands firmly.
"I wouldn't leave this place, if I didn't have to," she said softly. Draco opened his eyes.
"What do you mean?" He asked her, sensing some sadness and finality in her voice. Something wasn't right. It was in the way she inhaled deeply, the way she held his hands so tightly. Her voice sounded as if she was going to miss such a big part of her, as if.. She was leaving.
"I mean.. Everything. Hogwarts, Hogsmeade, everything. I'm going to miss it all terribly," she said sadly.
"You can always come back, you know that. For Hogsmeade, all you have to do is apparate, or use floo powder. And I'm sure Hogwarts will always welcome you, being the smartest witch in generations to enter."
Draco could feel his grip get tighter, his skin become more icy and cold, as she stayed silent. He couldn't look into her eyes, but he didn't need to. There was something she was hiding, something that was important that she wasn't telling him.
"What is it?" He asked her, softly. Hermione sighed, as she turned to face him. Draco saw that her eyes were sad, dark and cloudy. His hands on her waist felt cold all of a sudden, the chilly air compressing and trying to dominate over the burning warmth she brought unto him.
"Draco," she whispered, her heart feeling as if it were breaking in two, crumbling. She looked into his silver eyes, as she held his hand tightly.
"I'm not coming back."
Draco felt as if his throat had closed up, as the world suddenly deafened into a deadly silence that seemed to be strangling him. What did she mean? His thoughts and intense emotions suddenly swarmed, frantic and buzzing. His hands felt cold, clammy. Dead. What was she saying? He swallowed hard, trying to speak.
"What do you mean?" He asked her, his voice hoarse. He tried to search her eyes, but she looked down, at their hands.
"My parents.. They planned for me to go to a muggle college, and I've already agreed. I can't stay here, or visit, as often as you wish. They're worried, after all that happened with Harry, and they decided.. That they don't want me coming back here anymore." She looked up, and met his eyes. They were sad, dim, and glossy. She knew saying those words to him would trigger a sharp insinuation of tears, but she didn't know how heartbroken she would feel when she had told him. It was worse than she thought; it felt as if every single bone her body was being ground into powder, her blood running cold and finally turning into solid ice.
"What?" He asked her, his voice almost inaudible. Hermione looked down again. She couldn't stand that look in his eyes. It was almost as if he didn't know that this was hurting her as much as it was hurting him.
"They told me, that after I was done with Hogwarts, I would be back in the muggle world. Going to college, getting a degree in Philosophy, having a steady job," she said, her voice breaking. "I told them I agreed."
"How could you tell them that?" His voice suddenly rising. "How could you agree?" Draco's eyes were hard, but they showed he was about to break also. How could she do this? How could she agree to such a ridiculous thing as that?
How could she agree to leave everything she had here behind?
How could she agree to leave him?
"It was in fifth year," she said, her eyes pleading at him. "I agreed because I didn't know what I would do after Hogwarts, where I would stay, what my career was going to be. I didn't know all this was going to happen," she said. Draco rose, and Hermione stumbled, but got back on her feet.
"So you're just planning to leave everything behind, just like that?" He asked her, angry. "Everything you've done here, you're going to throw it away like it was never anything in the first place?"
"No!" She said, tears stinging her eyes. "Hogwarts will always be a part of me, and magic, you know that!"
"How about us, Hermione?" He yelled. "What about us?"
He watched her, as she said nothing, tears sliding down her cheeks.
"Were you planning to leave it behind too? Were you planning to end it, try to make it fade from your memory?"
"No! I wasn't," she cried. She walked closer to Draco, as his eyes followed her, fuming.
"Draco, listen to me," she said, "I love you. I would never leave it behind, I would never leave you."
"Then what are you doing now?" He yelled, and Hermione winced, as her whole body trembled.
"What do you prefer to call it, Hermione? Because in both our eyes I can tell you for a fact that it is leaving."
"We can still be together, Draco! There's letters-"
"Letters?" He said, both incredulously and angry. "Letters? Bloody letters? You expect us to stay together be LETTERS?" He stared at Hermione, as she covered her face with her hands, sobbing. He felt his hands clench into fists, his nails digging into skin. He was shaking with anger, so overwhelmed by her sudden news. His heart felt as if it was shattering and splitting apart at such an alarming rate, the blood in his veins running cold. His eyes were cold, hard, hateful and angry.
"When were you planning to tell me, Hermione?" He asked, seething. His voice was strained, angry. She just felt like someone had literally stabbed a stinging dagger into the cracks of her already broken heart. That someone was her.
"Were you planning to tell me at all? Or were you just going to leave, acting as if nothing truly happened. Was that what you planning to do?"
"I was going to tell you," she said, her wet tears feeling sticky on her face. 'I was."
"When?"
Hermione stayed silent, as Draco ran a hand through his hair and turned away, abruptly. Draco glared up at the sky, feeling as if there was this thriving, cold fire behind them. The atmosphere had gotten colder, the frosty wind biting at his skin. He felt numb, almost. He wished he was numb. Then he wouldn't be feeling any of this.
He wished she wasn't really leaving.
Maybe this was just a dream.. Maybe..
That she was just lying, that this was just a joke she was pulling on him.
She was lying.. She was lying.. She had to be.
It hurt so much that he knew she was being honest, telling the severe and harsh truth.
For once, he wanted anything but the truth.
He wished that things didn't have to be this way, that he didn't have to know that he would never see her again after this. But he was angry, fuming with such a hateful rage that he hadn't felt so strongly before. She was leaving. How could she?
"How could you be so selfish?" He said, his fists shaking at his side.
"I didn't know, Draco," she said. "I didn't know I would fall in love with you. I didn't know any of this would happen. But, my parents want me to go back so terribly. I can't refuse them." He turned around, and looked at her. His silver eyes were dark and cloudy, but they still pierced through her just as before. Although, this time, it hurt. His intense gaze penetrated right through her, breaking down everything she thought she had in control.
"You can't refuse them? Why is it that you can't refuse them when you really need to? Why can't you refuse them when you know you want to stay?" Hermione swallowed hard, but her throat was still so dry, and parched.
"I hope you'll forgive me," she said softly, but it rang through his mind, echoing in his ears. Could he forgive her? She was leaving him.
The girl he loved more than anything else was leaving him. This was not the goodbye he was hoping for. In fact, he hadn't wanted to say goodbye at all. He had been going to ask her if she would like to come visit him over the summer, even stay for a bit.
This was why he didn't think about the future. He was going to plan his future when the time was right, when he was sure of how everything was going to go. He had wanted Hermione to be in his future. And somehow, she was the whole foundation of his plan for the future. With her beside him, he knew he could do anything.
But now she had her own future to fulfill. One that didn't have him anywhere in it.
Never, in his life, had he felt his heart broken in two such as this moment. It felt as if the air itself was poisoning his lungs, suffocating and strangling him. The ground beneath him was no longer firm and steady, but was now sinking in, eating him. The wind pierced through all his nerves, his skin. The frosty breeze numbed his soul. Or he wished it did.
He couldn't tell. His throat was dry, but felt as if it was overflowing with such emotions that he couldn't hold back. His lungs were going to burst, his nails puncturing into his flesh. His mind was blank, but at the same time, so heavy and full to exploding.
'How could she do this to me.. How? How could she leave?' rang in his head, circling his neck, choking him. Even death's hands couldn't be any colder than this.
He turned, and looked into her eyes, cold, angry.
"I don't know if I can," and with that, he brushed past her and walked back to the school, leaving her with the anesthetized wind that pierced through her. Leaving her with his words and cold, silver gaze lingering in her mind.
Second by second, breaking her down...
By tearsofher
Disclaimer: don't own characters, just the plot.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
well, here it is. The last installments of 'Wonderwall.' But I think its safe to tell you that there WILL BE ONE MORE CHAPTER AFTER THIS. I want to thank all of the wonderful reviewers, and also Lalita22, Leslieglady, lizziemalfoy (I am so sorry if I misspelled it) and all of those who have been so loyal and encouraging. It made me really happy to see you guys review for each chapter. I just wanted you to know that it hasn't gone on unnoticed.
Thank you to my amazing cousins Joanne and CB, and my friends Rubie, Rita, Ann and Arianne. To all of you, my reviewers, cousins and friends, this is for you.
Just to tell you, this chapter is months after 'Clear Skies and Gentle Breezes.' I wrote this days ago, but ff.net was having problems, and I couldn't login. But, nonetheless, I'm sorry I made you wait so long.
Bye for now.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The Future
Hermione could feel the chilly breeze comb through her hair, as she closed her eyes and listened, silent. She could feel a pair of strong arms around her, as she heard the faint beating of his heart underneath his shirt. She smiled faintly, as she felt his arms tighten around her waist. She could feel his soft breaths tickling her neck, her skin tingling pleasantly from his contact.
But deep down, she felt a tear of guilt ripping through.
Draco held her closely, as her small, warm body leaned against his. He could smell the fragrant scent of her hair, the faint trace of warm vanilla on her smooth, skin. He could hear the leaves of the tree lending its shade to them rustling, moving to the wind. The breeze kissed his skin, as he could feel his soul being rejuvenated somehow. Perhaps it was because for the first time, he felt at peace, with Hermione in his arms. The wind blowing gently, holding her as he felt like he could never let go. For once, his mind wasn't troubled with such vast worries, or thoughts. Even if he had been, it was all gone now. For when he was with Hermione, he felt all his worries fade away. His moments with her, holding her against him, he felt as if nothing could interfere any longer. They were in their own world, their fantasy. And they were living it.
They were to graduate in about a few more weeks, and he felt it was essential to spend as much time with her as possible. Mostly they would just meet up here, outside in their free time, or in the common room. They would talk, but most of the time, they would just hold each other, neither of them uttering a word. Because they truly didn't need to, at times such as these. Words were already too unnecessary. They knew what they were both feeling, how they felt. They didn't need to clarify it, to say any of it. They both knew, deep down.
Hermione laid her hands on Draco's, entwining her fingers with his. He pulled her closer. He didn't want to admit it, but he was worried, thinking about her when they were apart. He thought about what she would do over the summer, and what she would do, a life free of Hogwarts. A life free of him. They hadn't talked about the summer, what they were planning to do with their time, and their time after that. Draco avoided the subject, especially when she had brought it up a few months ago. He didn't know what to say. What was he to do after Hogwarts? What did he want to become? He didn't know. He hadn't known time would rush by so fast, all those times he had skipped on thinking about his future. Yes, he thought about the future. But not his future. Ever since his father had been sent to Azkaban, a few years back, he didn't really care for the future anymore. He had tried thinking about it, but it was so weightless, his thoughts were so empty, so vacant. It could never occupy his mind for more than a few mere seconds, forgetting all about it after that. His future wasn't a big deal for him. It hadn't been. But now, just a few more weeks until he was out of Hogwarts, he felt rushed to think about his future, almost forced. And when he closed his eyes and concentrated, and tried to visualize how his future would be...
He saw himself. With Hermione. Happy, satisfied and content.
His future. He wanted to be with Hermione. To feel how he felt now, right at his moments he was with her, all the time. He wanted to be with her. Maybe forever, the rest of the days left in his future. He didn't know how he would react if he had to let her go, be apart from her so she could live a normal muggle life. Because she wasn't a normal muggle. She was so much more, more than anyone could ever dream of. She meant so much more, to him. What if he did have to let her go?
He wouldn't.
He couldn't.
Draco leaned in closer, holding her tightly.
"I don't know if I can let you go," he whispered to her. Hermione opened her eyes, as she heard his words. She smiled faintly, but it didn't reach her eyes. She held Draco's hands firmly.
"I wouldn't leave this place, if I didn't have to," she said softly. Draco opened his eyes.
"What do you mean?" He asked her, sensing some sadness and finality in her voice. Something wasn't right. It was in the way she inhaled deeply, the way she held his hands so tightly. Her voice sounded as if she was going to miss such a big part of her, as if.. She was leaving.
"I mean.. Everything. Hogwarts, Hogsmeade, everything. I'm going to miss it all terribly," she said sadly.
"You can always come back, you know that. For Hogsmeade, all you have to do is apparate, or use floo powder. And I'm sure Hogwarts will always welcome you, being the smartest witch in generations to enter."
Draco could feel his grip get tighter, his skin become more icy and cold, as she stayed silent. He couldn't look into her eyes, but he didn't need to. There was something she was hiding, something that was important that she wasn't telling him.
"What is it?" He asked her, softly. Hermione sighed, as she turned to face him. Draco saw that her eyes were sad, dark and cloudy. His hands on her waist felt cold all of a sudden, the chilly air compressing and trying to dominate over the burning warmth she brought unto him.
"Draco," she whispered, her heart feeling as if it were breaking in two, crumbling. She looked into his silver eyes, as she held his hand tightly.
"I'm not coming back."
Draco felt as if his throat had closed up, as the world suddenly deafened into a deadly silence that seemed to be strangling him. What did she mean? His thoughts and intense emotions suddenly swarmed, frantic and buzzing. His hands felt cold, clammy. Dead. What was she saying? He swallowed hard, trying to speak.
"What do you mean?" He asked her, his voice hoarse. He tried to search her eyes, but she looked down, at their hands.
"My parents.. They planned for me to go to a muggle college, and I've already agreed. I can't stay here, or visit, as often as you wish. They're worried, after all that happened with Harry, and they decided.. That they don't want me coming back here anymore." She looked up, and met his eyes. They were sad, dim, and glossy. She knew saying those words to him would trigger a sharp insinuation of tears, but she didn't know how heartbroken she would feel when she had told him. It was worse than she thought; it felt as if every single bone her body was being ground into powder, her blood running cold and finally turning into solid ice.
"What?" He asked her, his voice almost inaudible. Hermione looked down again. She couldn't stand that look in his eyes. It was almost as if he didn't know that this was hurting her as much as it was hurting him.
"They told me, that after I was done with Hogwarts, I would be back in the muggle world. Going to college, getting a degree in Philosophy, having a steady job," she said, her voice breaking. "I told them I agreed."
"How could you tell them that?" His voice suddenly rising. "How could you agree?" Draco's eyes were hard, but they showed he was about to break also. How could she do this? How could she agree to such a ridiculous thing as that?
How could she agree to leave everything she had here behind?
How could she agree to leave him?
"It was in fifth year," she said, her eyes pleading at him. "I agreed because I didn't know what I would do after Hogwarts, where I would stay, what my career was going to be. I didn't know all this was going to happen," she said. Draco rose, and Hermione stumbled, but got back on her feet.
"So you're just planning to leave everything behind, just like that?" He asked her, angry. "Everything you've done here, you're going to throw it away like it was never anything in the first place?"
"No!" She said, tears stinging her eyes. "Hogwarts will always be a part of me, and magic, you know that!"
"How about us, Hermione?" He yelled. "What about us?"
He watched her, as she said nothing, tears sliding down her cheeks.
"Were you planning to leave it behind too? Were you planning to end it, try to make it fade from your memory?"
"No! I wasn't," she cried. She walked closer to Draco, as his eyes followed her, fuming.
"Draco, listen to me," she said, "I love you. I would never leave it behind, I would never leave you."
"Then what are you doing now?" He yelled, and Hermione winced, as her whole body trembled.
"What do you prefer to call it, Hermione? Because in both our eyes I can tell you for a fact that it is leaving."
"We can still be together, Draco! There's letters-"
"Letters?" He said, both incredulously and angry. "Letters? Bloody letters? You expect us to stay together be LETTERS?" He stared at Hermione, as she covered her face with her hands, sobbing. He felt his hands clench into fists, his nails digging into skin. He was shaking with anger, so overwhelmed by her sudden news. His heart felt as if it was shattering and splitting apart at such an alarming rate, the blood in his veins running cold. His eyes were cold, hard, hateful and angry.
"When were you planning to tell me, Hermione?" He asked, seething. His voice was strained, angry. She just felt like someone had literally stabbed a stinging dagger into the cracks of her already broken heart. That someone was her.
"Were you planning to tell me at all? Or were you just going to leave, acting as if nothing truly happened. Was that what you planning to do?"
"I was going to tell you," she said, her wet tears feeling sticky on her face. 'I was."
"When?"
Hermione stayed silent, as Draco ran a hand through his hair and turned away, abruptly. Draco glared up at the sky, feeling as if there was this thriving, cold fire behind them. The atmosphere had gotten colder, the frosty wind biting at his skin. He felt numb, almost. He wished he was numb. Then he wouldn't be feeling any of this.
He wished she wasn't really leaving.
Maybe this was just a dream.. Maybe..
That she was just lying, that this was just a joke she was pulling on him.
She was lying.. She was lying.. She had to be.
It hurt so much that he knew she was being honest, telling the severe and harsh truth.
For once, he wanted anything but the truth.
He wished that things didn't have to be this way, that he didn't have to know that he would never see her again after this. But he was angry, fuming with such a hateful rage that he hadn't felt so strongly before. She was leaving. How could she?
"How could you be so selfish?" He said, his fists shaking at his side.
"I didn't know, Draco," she said. "I didn't know I would fall in love with you. I didn't know any of this would happen. But, my parents want me to go back so terribly. I can't refuse them." He turned around, and looked at her. His silver eyes were dark and cloudy, but they still pierced through her just as before. Although, this time, it hurt. His intense gaze penetrated right through her, breaking down everything she thought she had in control.
"You can't refuse them? Why is it that you can't refuse them when you really need to? Why can't you refuse them when you know you want to stay?" Hermione swallowed hard, but her throat was still so dry, and parched.
"I hope you'll forgive me," she said softly, but it rang through his mind, echoing in his ears. Could he forgive her? She was leaving him.
The girl he loved more than anything else was leaving him. This was not the goodbye he was hoping for. In fact, he hadn't wanted to say goodbye at all. He had been going to ask her if she would like to come visit him over the summer, even stay for a bit.
This was why he didn't think about the future. He was going to plan his future when the time was right, when he was sure of how everything was going to go. He had wanted Hermione to be in his future. And somehow, she was the whole foundation of his plan for the future. With her beside him, he knew he could do anything.
But now she had her own future to fulfill. One that didn't have him anywhere in it.
Never, in his life, had he felt his heart broken in two such as this moment. It felt as if the air itself was poisoning his lungs, suffocating and strangling him. The ground beneath him was no longer firm and steady, but was now sinking in, eating him. The wind pierced through all his nerves, his skin. The frosty breeze numbed his soul. Or he wished it did.
He couldn't tell. His throat was dry, but felt as if it was overflowing with such emotions that he couldn't hold back. His lungs were going to burst, his nails puncturing into his flesh. His mind was blank, but at the same time, so heavy and full to exploding.
'How could she do this to me.. How? How could she leave?' rang in his head, circling his neck, choking him. Even death's hands couldn't be any colder than this.
He turned, and looked into her eyes, cold, angry.
"I don't know if I can," and with that, he brushed past her and walked back to the school, leaving her with the anesthetized wind that pierced through her. Leaving her with his words and cold, silver gaze lingering in her mind.
Second by second, breaking her down...