"Where's Carter?" Kerry screamed "we've got a MVA coming in"
"On-call room, I'll go get him." Abby offered, wanting to be away from Weaver's wrath.
She paused for a moment as she walked in, she looked at his restful features and it ate her up alive to know that this was the only time she'd see it. "Carter," she ducked down to his level and shook him lightly.
"Abby" he murmured and rolled towards her voice
Her breath stopped, her heart broke just hearing him say her name like that killed her. She tried to open her mouth to tell him about the accident, but she couldn't speak.
"Abby" his arm stretched out, seeking her, finding her. "Love you….Love you so much."
"John?"
"So much…Love you…Abby….So much…"
She couldn't stay there, she stood up and his hand fell away from her hair. She ran out of the room letting the door slam. He sat up startled. He rubbed his fingers together; he could still feel her hair in his fingers from his dream…she'd felt so close…but she wasn't....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He watched her in action, he always watched in action, he'd always been so proud of her, but now after that year of hell pulling double duty, he respected her even more than he had before which was hard to believe. She was with a little girl now, she wasn't doing anything even the slightest bit doctor related. She was sitting with the girl up on a gurney, her parents had been brought in that accident, they were still waiting for an aunt to come in and pick her up.
He used to dream of the family they'd have…Long before she was with him, when she was still with Luka, he'd dream about the day they'd come home to their kids. He almost sold Gamma's house because he couldn't bare the thought of living in it with Kem, raising their kids there and not his and Abby's. At the very last minute he backed out, because with Kem back in Africa he couldn't remember why he was throwing away so much of his family's history. He didn't live in it of course, it was rented out, but he hadn't run away from that like he'd run away from Abby.
"Ask her to forgive you"
He was startled by Luka's voice "Huh?" he tried to deny he knew what he was talking about.
"You know what I'm talking about, don't be too proud to beg."
"Why is it people in relationships always try to shove others into them?"
"You ended things with Kem what four months ago?"
"Almost five"
"Five months and Abby still doesn't know."
He pretended to look at a chart, hoping Luka would go away knowing he wouldn't.
"She's never going to forgive you unless you ask."
"She wouldn't even if I asked."
"What do you have to lose by asking?"
He turned to Luka "I left her, I left her the cruelest way possible. I ended our relationship through a letter, I got someone else pregnant weeks after, if you were her would you forgive me?"
"Good point" he said then looked down at his chart
John looked back to where Abby had been and found she was gone. He sighed and looked back down at the chart and attempted to focus.