Title: Consequences
Author: Laura Dugan
Feedback: Kindly, at AliasGirl@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: I don't own any of it: the show, the characters, nothing. They belong to CBS, Belasarius Productions, and its subsidiaries. I mean no infringement.
Category: Post Ep Persian Gulf, Mac/Harm Romance
Summary: Mac spirals out of control after killing Sadik. Will Harm be able to save her from herself?
Rating: PG
Notes: I had an immediate response to Persian Gulf and the previews for the next episode. This is my interpretation of that episode. Thanks to Arica for helping, in a general sense, with this story. :) Special thanks to Dr. L - the JAG poster inspired me to get his finished!

Chapter 3 :: Nightmares

"Mac? Hello? Attention, Marine!" Mac's head snapped back reflexively as she drew herself to attention. Harm stifled a laugh. "Where were you just now?" he asked as Mac relaxed back down on the couch and looked at him.

Mac thought hard, trying to remember the last thing she had said. Something about Clay. "He's on assignment," she finally said.

"You said that already."

"Sorry. It's a pretty serious assignment and he knew he was going to be away for a long time. He didn't know how long and he didn't want me to feel like I was being held back by him. He thought we would both be better off if we just ended our relationship before it really went anywhere."

"And are you? Better off?" Harm looked so hopeful that Mac nearly smiled.

"Yes. I think we both are. He's free to do whatever he needs to do and I…" Mac paused, wondering exactly what she was. Free from Clay? That sounded like their relationship had been something terrible, which it hadn't. Free to tell Harm how she felt? She looked into his velvet eyes as he looked back expectantly. "I'm free to continue the search for Mr. Right." She sighed. "Whomever he may be."

"Personally, I never thought you and Clay would…"

"Don't start, Rabb. I know you were against us from the beginning."

"I was just going to say that you and Clay wouldn't last because of his work. Look at what my work in the CIA did to us and that was only for a few weeks." Mac just nodded in agreement.

Laying on the couch, she draped her arm over her eyes, suddenly feeling completely mentally and physically exhausted. "What time is it?"

Harm glanced at his watch. "22:08."

"This is pathetic. It's just after 10 on a Friday and I am so tired I can barely move."

"Well, you've been through a lot lately."

"You keep saying that."

"Saying it makes it seem less real. Somehow. I guess that doesn't make much sense." Mac looked at him a bemused expression on her face.

"How much sleep have you gotten lately, Flyboy?"

"Not enough." Harm closed his eyes and was beginning to fall asleep when his cell phone rang. He brought it to his ear, closing his eyes again. "Yeah?" He paused, listening. "No, you can't. Because it's already after 10. Tomorrow night is fine." He looked at Mac. "I don't know. If you need anything call me, I'm at Mac's. Or call Jennifer." He listened again, then said to Mac, "Mattie says hello and that she misses you."

Mac smiled. "I miss her, too. Tell her we need to arrange for a day at the spa really soon."

Harm relayed the message, much to the delight of Mattie. "Okay, go to bed soon. Love you, too. Goodnight." He hung up the phone and leaned back. "What have I gotten myself into? She asked if she could go to a party. At 10 on a Friday. Sometimes I forget she's a normal teenager."

"You're very good to her, Harm. And she's good for you."

"I guess I'm growing up as she does. But I still think she's going to beat me to full adulthood." Mac chuckled then yawned. Harm patted her legs. "You should go to bed." Mac was exhausted, but she didn't want to be alone.

"Will you stay with me? Just until I fall asleep?"

Harm smiled and stood, offering her his hand, which she took as she stood. They walked into the bedroom and Mac realized that she felt nervous. She and Harm had shared a bed numerous times before, but for some reason, this felt different. Harm sat down on the bed and took off his shoes as Mac settled under the covers. Harm crawled in next to her, but resisted the urge to take her in his arms.

"You know," he said, trying to relieve some of the awkwardness he felt, "the last time we shared a bed was in Paraguay."

"Yeah, and I was pissed at you, as usual," Mac giggled.

Harm turned on his side to face her and she did the same. "Why do you think we fight so much?"

"Because you never admit it when you're wrong?"

"Very funny. I'm being serious."

"So am I!" Harm rolled his eyes. "Okay, well, the never being wrong thing is part of it. I think we fight so much because we are both very stubborn people who are rarely willing to give in. It's why we're such good lawyers."

"And such bad friends?" Harm asked softly.

"We're not bad friends. You're my best friend! Do you think we're bad friends?"

"No, I just wanted to make sure you didn't, either."

"Harm. If you haven't realized by now how I feel about you I don't think you ever will." Mac stopped abruptly, replaying what she just said and wondering if it sounded like she thought it had.

"How do you feel about me?"

"Can we talk about this later?"

"I'd really like to talk about it now. I can't read your mind, Sarah, and as much as I want to believe that you… That we… That there's an us."

"What do you mean, an 'us'?"

"I don't understand how we can sit down at work or in the courtroom and have a verbal sparring match that's Oscar-worthy and yet we're not able to talk about personal things."

"We know what we're up against at work, Harm. Real life, our personal lives, are not that easy to analyze." Mac thought about what Clay had told her. "It's easier to take a risk when you are aware of the possible outcomes, when you've been able to assess the different situations. You can't apply that logic to emotions," Mac said softly, ending her sentence with a large yawn.

"I'm sorry, Mac. I know you're tired. I didn't mean to philosophize. We can talk in the morning."

Mac nodded sleepily. On one hand she really wanted to continue the conversation, she really felt like she and Harm were finally making headway. On the other hand, however, she was functioning at about 50% of her usual capacity due to lack of sleep and she wanted to be completely with it for whatever the outcome of this conversation may be.

She yawned again and turned back over on to her left side. Harm watched her breathing until it was even and he was sure she was asleep. But he didn't get up and leave. Instead, he turned onto his back and thought about the evening. He was happy, beyond happy, really, to hear that Mac and Clay had broken up. And he knew why he was so happy. He would never be satisfied as long as Mac was with another man.

He couldn't remember how many times he had come close to telling Mac how he felt about her and he still didn't know why he never did. Some of it was fear. But he was pretty sure, particularly after Paraguay, that Mac felt the same way about him. He should have just told her then. He should have told her a million times before.

He turned back onto his side, so he could look at Mac. She was beginning to move in her sleep, and Harm suspected that the nightmares were back. He moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around her. A few moments later, Mac settled down, relaxing into Harm's warm embrace. And the nightmares were gone.