Disclaimer: Alright. This if merely a fanfic. I don't own Sailor Moon.
Naoko Takeuchi does. So there.
Playing Teacher...
One morning, the Starlights arrived at the elementary school. As a publicity event, they had promised to teach an entire class of kindergarten students their lessons for the entire day...entirely. Now they stood at the school entrance debating wether to actually go in or not. They voted two to one.
"But I don't wanna go in!" whined Yaten. "Come on it'll be fun" Taiki replied nodding. "Fun? You're kidding right?" said Yaten.
In his head he imagined things. Terrible things. Little brats running around like they owned the joint and tugging at his hair. He imagined the pain and suffering. The noise and confusion. But most of all, he imagined the split ends. The Horror. Yaten quietly patted his hair as he followed the others inside the demented freakshow err I mean educational facility that was the school.
"Alright we're here" Seiya announced. "Let's ejumacate these kids"
As soon as they stepped inside the classroom, the teacher let out a squeal of joy.
"Thank you thank you!" She screamed shaking each of the starlight's hands. They didn't have time to react. They merely stared, horrified, "What the heck...?"
Without giving them time to properly introduce themselves, the teacher ran out of the room. They could still hear the shrieks of joy coming from the hallway.
"...uh...right...what should we teach them?" Seiya asked trying to call the now gone teacher.
There was no answer, just a trail of dust.
"OK. let's not panic. I'm sure Taiki will know what to do" Yaten pitched in Seiya and Yaten both turned to Taiki who sweatdropped. "Um...Let's learn our ABCs everybody!" Taiki announced to the class.
The children just stared in silence...then came a loud CHIBI!
Little Chibi Chibi sat smiling on the floor holding a sunflower.
"Chibi chan! What are you doing here? I had no idea you went to kindergarten!" Seiya exclaimed.
'I don't' Came the voice inside Chibi's head. 'The writer just put me here for no reason'
Everyone turned towards me, the writer....and there was silence...crickets chirped....then some more silence.
"Oh...okay..." replied Seiya.
"Now let's begin the lesson" Taiki announced. He went over to the chalkboard while Seiya and Yaten took a seat at a kiddie table. As soon as he sat, Yaten broke the chair.
"OMG! I'm FAT!" He screamed and ran out of the classroom..
"...Right. So anyway the first letter of the alphabet is A"
Seiya sweatdropped as the entire class listened with a mixture of fear and awe as Yaten cried like a little girl. "Omigosh why?!?!" he screamed. "I'm so Uglyyyy...Where's the ladies room. GASP! Is that a wrinkle?! I'm fat and Old! God I need a drink!" This continued on for quite some time...
A student soon approached Seiya and tugged at his sleeves. "Mister. Why is the lady crying?" he asked. "Eh..well..she has issues kid" "Really? what kind of isssues?" "Many deep emotional issues" Seiya replied "Oh. okay" The little boy smiled and lingered. Then after five minutes he spoke up again "um... what are issues?" Seiya stared at the boy and the boy stared back. "Get lost you little brat" Seiya finally responded.
END of CH 1
Yaten had finally come back to the classroom. Seiya offered him another kiddie seat. Yaten gave a sad whimper and sat on the floor instead...
Taiki was intent of continuing his lesson when all of a sudden...the chalk broke. "Uh oh. Ran outta chalk. Do you guys know where your teacher keeps her chalk?" He asked the class.
They all shook their heads, with blank expressions including Yaten. Seiya just stared at him...
"Well how do we continue with the lesson?" Seiya asked Taiki thought for a moment. But before he could get anything out, Yaten spoke up with what he exclaimed a brilliant plan.
"Let's use these!" He held in his hands Sharpie markers!
Seiya & Taiki : .....
"What? It'll work. Trust me."
Before any of the others could stop him, Yaten was already busy writing that immense knowledge of his on the chalkboard... Taiki fainted while Seiya watched in horror. Time passed slowly...Oh the humanity.
"...And so the Fundamental Theory of Algebra is..." Yaten paused. "E=MC2" He stopped and turned to the unconcious Taiki, "Let me borrow those" he said and took Taiki's glasses.
Now looking more proffesor like, he continued writing, the sharpie marker making squeaky noises.
--15 mins later...-- "...And it's okay to have a receding hairline kiddies. Just look at forehead there" Yaten motioned to Taiki who was now just waking up.
"In conclusion, Bigfoot does exist. Just like UFOs and pink waffle-eating bunnies" Yaten finished up writing nonsense information on the board. He turned to the class and beamed. Half the class had fallen asleep while the other unfortunate half stood dumbfounded by all the knowledge they had just lost.
"Oh...what happened?" Taiki asked dazed and confused. "duh.....monkey go bye bye" Seiya answered drooling. Unfortunately he was part of the other half of class. "Bye-bYe MoNkEy..."
"OMG! What have you done?!?!" Taiki yelled. The entire chalkboard was filled with sharpie handwriting and and pictures of chibi sailormoons eating donuts.
"You've ruined education as we know it!" exclaimed Seiya. "Oh What? I can erase it if it bothers you that much" Yaten laughed. He picked up the eraser. Seeing that the ink would not come off, he began scrubbing harder and harder and Harder AND HArder and...nothing happened. It was permanent (duh)
He turned towards his friends. Then sheepishly said, "Whoops" Taiki was furious and would have begun choking the poor fool had Seiya not had an idea... *** "And so class, two plus two does equal four" Seiya explained as he wrote on Taiki's forehead. "See? Now let's try subtraction." He erased the marks on Taiki's forehead by dipping Yaten's hair into a mop bucket. A yellow sign at Yaten's feet read: 'Caution. Wet Floor.'
"Oww! Not so hard!" Yaten complained. Seiya tugged harder. "Oops sorry" was all he said.
Just then the three o'clock bell rang. School was out. "That'll be all for today class. You're dismissed." Seiya flashed one of his bright superstar smiles.
"Oww my eyes! I can't see!" yelled out a little boy as he walked out the door and slipped on the wet floor, "Oof!" "Oh! Are you alright?" Yaten rushed over. "I'm a man and I can save you!" The kid rubbed his eyes and stared at Yaten. "OMG! You're a MAN?!"
Later that day..
"So uh...you think you can get me a date with your sister?" Seiya asked Chibi in a hush hush manner.
They were seating at the kiddie table. Little bright eyed chibi happily muching on a cupcake.
"Chibi! Meatball head!" "I see. I'll throw in an extra cupcake if you make it two dates" Seiya said nodding.
End
Naoko Takeuchi does. So there.
Playing Teacher...
One morning, the Starlights arrived at the elementary school. As a publicity event, they had promised to teach an entire class of kindergarten students their lessons for the entire day...entirely. Now they stood at the school entrance debating wether to actually go in or not. They voted two to one.
"But I don't wanna go in!" whined Yaten. "Come on it'll be fun" Taiki replied nodding. "Fun? You're kidding right?" said Yaten.
In his head he imagined things. Terrible things. Little brats running around like they owned the joint and tugging at his hair. He imagined the pain and suffering. The noise and confusion. But most of all, he imagined the split ends. The Horror. Yaten quietly patted his hair as he followed the others inside the demented freakshow err I mean educational facility that was the school.
"Alright we're here" Seiya announced. "Let's ejumacate these kids"
As soon as they stepped inside the classroom, the teacher let out a squeal of joy.
"Thank you thank you!" She screamed shaking each of the starlight's hands. They didn't have time to react. They merely stared, horrified, "What the heck...?"
Without giving them time to properly introduce themselves, the teacher ran out of the room. They could still hear the shrieks of joy coming from the hallway.
"...uh...right...what should we teach them?" Seiya asked trying to call the now gone teacher.
There was no answer, just a trail of dust.
"OK. let's not panic. I'm sure Taiki will know what to do" Yaten pitched in Seiya and Yaten both turned to Taiki who sweatdropped. "Um...Let's learn our ABCs everybody!" Taiki announced to the class.
The children just stared in silence...then came a loud CHIBI!
Little Chibi Chibi sat smiling on the floor holding a sunflower.
"Chibi chan! What are you doing here? I had no idea you went to kindergarten!" Seiya exclaimed.
'I don't' Came the voice inside Chibi's head. 'The writer just put me here for no reason'
Everyone turned towards me, the writer....and there was silence...crickets chirped....then some more silence.
"Oh...okay..." replied Seiya.
"Now let's begin the lesson" Taiki announced. He went over to the chalkboard while Seiya and Yaten took a seat at a kiddie table. As soon as he sat, Yaten broke the chair.
"OMG! I'm FAT!" He screamed and ran out of the classroom..
"...Right. So anyway the first letter of the alphabet is A"
Seiya sweatdropped as the entire class listened with a mixture of fear and awe as Yaten cried like a little girl. "Omigosh why?!?!" he screamed. "I'm so Uglyyyy...Where's the ladies room. GASP! Is that a wrinkle?! I'm fat and Old! God I need a drink!" This continued on for quite some time...
A student soon approached Seiya and tugged at his sleeves. "Mister. Why is the lady crying?" he asked. "Eh..well..she has issues kid" "Really? what kind of isssues?" "Many deep emotional issues" Seiya replied "Oh. okay" The little boy smiled and lingered. Then after five minutes he spoke up again "um... what are issues?" Seiya stared at the boy and the boy stared back. "Get lost you little brat" Seiya finally responded.
END of CH 1
Yaten had finally come back to the classroom. Seiya offered him another kiddie seat. Yaten gave a sad whimper and sat on the floor instead...
Taiki was intent of continuing his lesson when all of a sudden...the chalk broke. "Uh oh. Ran outta chalk. Do you guys know where your teacher keeps her chalk?" He asked the class.
They all shook their heads, with blank expressions including Yaten. Seiya just stared at him...
"Well how do we continue with the lesson?" Seiya asked Taiki thought for a moment. But before he could get anything out, Yaten spoke up with what he exclaimed a brilliant plan.
"Let's use these!" He held in his hands Sharpie markers!
Seiya & Taiki : .....
"What? It'll work. Trust me."
Before any of the others could stop him, Yaten was already busy writing that immense knowledge of his on the chalkboard... Taiki fainted while Seiya watched in horror. Time passed slowly...Oh the humanity.
"...And so the Fundamental Theory of Algebra is..." Yaten paused. "E=MC2" He stopped and turned to the unconcious Taiki, "Let me borrow those" he said and took Taiki's glasses.
Now looking more proffesor like, he continued writing, the sharpie marker making squeaky noises.
--15 mins later...-- "...And it's okay to have a receding hairline kiddies. Just look at forehead there" Yaten motioned to Taiki who was now just waking up.
"In conclusion, Bigfoot does exist. Just like UFOs and pink waffle-eating bunnies" Yaten finished up writing nonsense information on the board. He turned to the class and beamed. Half the class had fallen asleep while the other unfortunate half stood dumbfounded by all the knowledge they had just lost.
"Oh...what happened?" Taiki asked dazed and confused. "duh.....monkey go bye bye" Seiya answered drooling. Unfortunately he was part of the other half of class. "Bye-bYe MoNkEy..."
"OMG! What have you done?!?!" Taiki yelled. The entire chalkboard was filled with sharpie handwriting and and pictures of chibi sailormoons eating donuts.
"You've ruined education as we know it!" exclaimed Seiya. "Oh What? I can erase it if it bothers you that much" Yaten laughed. He picked up the eraser. Seeing that the ink would not come off, he began scrubbing harder and harder and Harder AND HArder and...nothing happened. It was permanent (duh)
He turned towards his friends. Then sheepishly said, "Whoops" Taiki was furious and would have begun choking the poor fool had Seiya not had an idea... *** "And so class, two plus two does equal four" Seiya explained as he wrote on Taiki's forehead. "See? Now let's try subtraction." He erased the marks on Taiki's forehead by dipping Yaten's hair into a mop bucket. A yellow sign at Yaten's feet read: 'Caution. Wet Floor.'
"Oww! Not so hard!" Yaten complained. Seiya tugged harder. "Oops sorry" was all he said.
Just then the three o'clock bell rang. School was out. "That'll be all for today class. You're dismissed." Seiya flashed one of his bright superstar smiles.
"Oww my eyes! I can't see!" yelled out a little boy as he walked out the door and slipped on the wet floor, "Oof!" "Oh! Are you alright?" Yaten rushed over. "I'm a man and I can save you!" The kid rubbed his eyes and stared at Yaten. "OMG! You're a MAN?!"
Later that day..
"So uh...you think you can get me a date with your sister?" Seiya asked Chibi in a hush hush manner.
They were seating at the kiddie table. Little bright eyed chibi happily muching on a cupcake.
"Chibi! Meatball head!" "I see. I'll throw in an extra cupcake if you make it two dates" Seiya said nodding.
End