Chapter 23

Wandering listlessly through the fog he was in, Sonny found himself just waiting to slip into nothingness; praying the end would come soon. Suddenly aware that he was not alone, he heard his name being called.

'Sonny, come this way. Come see.'

Following the voice, the fog began to separate in front of him with each step he took. As the last of the fog rolled away he found himself at the entrance of the park he had dreamed of building for Kristina and Alexis.

Desperately needing to see her face just one last time he entered the park and moved to stand within reach of the statue that stood in the center of the park. Smiling regretfully he touched the cheek of the image of Alexis and jumped slightly at the sound of his name being called again. Turning to face the direction the voice came from he found Kristina sitting on a bench underneath a spray of hydrangeas. Approaching her hesitantly he sat down beside her, guilt ridden for what he had cost her but needing her to know that he had done what he promised her he would do.

'I did my best to try to make it better for her. It's done now. She can rest. She is safe now, Kristina.'

'You were wonderful, Sonny. I knew there was something good in you. There had to be or my sister would never have fallen so hard for you. But, you are not finished yet. You have to go back. You have to look into her eyes and make things right with her. You told her on several occasions that you needed her. Words, Sonny; words you used more often than not to alleviate her fears or to distract her from a conversation you did not want to have. Now you know just how real those words are to you. You do need her, but Sonny, she needs you too. I have seen my sister's heart and it is filled with you. You have to go back.'

'I can't Kristina. I've cost her too much. I can't hurt her anymore. I love her too much to do that.'

'Look, Sonny. Look down.'

Following her eyes he looked down at his chest as a shadow fell over his heart. Meeting Kristina's eyes again he questioned what he saw.

'What is it? Where did it come from?' A thought burst into his mind and he asked, hoping for the answer and yet dreading it. 'Is she finally free of me?'

'No Sonny, this is your beginning. This is where you start. The shadow you see is my beautiful sister's hand resting above your heart. She is waiting for you to come back to her. Don't disappoint her. Do not give her another reason to regret the choices she has made in her life. She needs to be loved; she deserves to be loved. She has already suffered enough in her life. Go... love her. Be with her... Have a happy life.'

He watched Kristina stand and slowly walk away. Just before she left his sight she turned once more,

'You are everything I could ever have wanted for my sister. And I think she is ready now, big brother. Take care of yourself.

****************

Alexis still lay with her head on the pillow beside Sonny cradling his heart with her hand. Not knowing what else to do, she called out to Kristina.

"Kristina?"

"I'm here."

"Can you help me? This is just a bit more than I can handle alone. Look at him, Kristina. What do I do? How do I get through to him? How do I bring him back to me?"

"Love him. Love him with all of your heart. Talk to him. He's there. He just needs a little help. Tell him what is in your heart. You can do this. Remember, I know the strength you hold within you. Just talk to him, Alexis."

Leaning forward Alexis put her elbow on the bed beside his pillow and rested her head in her hand. Watching for any sign of waking she poured her heart out for him... just for his ears alone.

"Sonny, can you hear me? I need to talk to you. I need to tell you what you mean to me, what my heart can no longer hide. No games, no dancing around each other. Just the truth. Do you know that I have loved only three men in my life outside of my family? It's true. There was Ned, and you know how that turned out. Then there is Jax, my best friend and Zander. Well see there, I miscounted, but you wouldn't know that would you. There is of course, you. Of all the men I have loved in my life, you were the only one I felt complete with... the most comfortable with. You took my life and turned it upside down and even though you infuriated me most of the time, I couldn't bear to be away from you. You gave me so much more than anyone else ever did before. I was free to be myself with you; I was comfortable with who I was, what I was. With us, we were who we were without judgments, without condemnation. I was a very competent attorney with a dangerously questionable client who was my friend, my lifeline. Do you know how extraordinary that is? Do you know that you and I have broken all the rules that were ever associated with relationships? Did you know that I left my heart with you when I moved out of the penthouse? Closing that door was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. I can say it now, Sonny. Can I say it out loud for you? Will you hear me?"

Moving her head a little closer to Sonny's ear, she breathed life into the words that she had hid from him and cherished in her heart so long.

"I love you. I love you, Sonny, with all of my heart I love you."

Closing her eyes she kissed him tenderly on his forehead.

"Alexis?"

Rising slowly afraid her mind was playing tricks on her, she found Sonny's eyes open and looking at her.

"Sonny?"

"Hey, beautiful."

"Hi, handsome."

"Not so handsome anymore."

Leaning closer Alexis spoke gently with a twinkle in her eye.

"I have this overwhelming urge to kiss you. Would you mind?"

Looking into her eyes he saw what his heart had wished for, prayed for. There was no hate, no pain. She looked at him with total acceptance. Her beautiful brown eyes were dancing just as they had that night in Puerto Rico. Looking a little more intently he finally saw what he was looking for. There, hiding just behind her acceptance... peeking around the last vestiges of denial... waiting for him, there was the love he had longed to see in her eyes. Releasing a heavy sigh he brought his free hand up to cover hers, which still lay above his heart.

"Kiss me, Alexis. Hold me. Put your arms around me and hold me. Don't ever let me go."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't. You couldn't."

Alexis leaned over and kissed him. She melted into him and knew in that moment that she had come home. She put everything she felt for him into that one kiss. Losing herself in the feel of him she unconsciously moved to lay beside him on the bed and touched as much of his body as she could with her own. Hearing him groan she broke the kiss and realized what she had done, where her need had led her.

"Oh Sonny, I'm so sorry. Did I hurt you? I didn't... I just wanted... You're hurt... What is wrong with me...?"

Feeling her try to move away from him, he held tighter to her hand that still lay above his heart.

"Alexis, breathe honey. Stay where you are. You did not hurt me."

"But, you... you made a sound.."

"I probably did... What did it sound like to you, Alexis?"

"I thought I hurt you..."

"That's not what I asked you. What did it sound like?"

Frowning in confusion Alexis studied him.

"What do you mean? It sounded like you were in pain."

"Well, I guess I probably was. But, it wasn't from your body touching mine. It was because my body was finally touching yours again. When you lay down beside me, my body remembered you. The sound you heard was simply my body remembering you."

Suddenly shy of the direction the conversation was taking and knowing that this was neither the time nor the place she kissed him again quickly and moved back to sit on the stool beside the bed. Not willing to lose contact she kept her hand beneath his lying just above his heart. She couldn't force herself to let go of him yet.

"Um... there is a frightened boy outside that needs to see you. Needs to know you are ok. He kept every promise he made to you, Sonny. And I need to get Alan in here to check you out too. Are you up for it?"

"Yeah, I need to see Zander too. But, we aren't finished with this, Alexis. Not by a long shot."

Moving the lock of hair back that had fallen across his forehead she bent to kiss him once more.

"I know, Sonny. I know."

Walking to the door she opened it just enough to catch sight of Zander who had turned instantly at the sound of movement behind him. Rushing toward her he stopped abruptly embarrassed by his anxiousness. Trying to appear cool and in control he sauntered over toward the open door painfully aware that Alexis wasn't buying it.

"Alexis, is he ok?"

Laughing gently she cupped his face with one hand and patted him comfortingly on his arm with the other.

"Come on in, Zander. He wants to see you."

Feeling his heart swell within his chest, Zander stood a moment looking down into her eyes.

"Is he ok?"

"He will be. Don't tire him out too much, ok."

"I won't."

Zander walked into the room quietly and cautiously. Stopping by the side of the bed he laid his hand on Sonny's shoulder.

"Hey, man. You ok?"

"Hey, Zander. I'll be fine. I hear you've been busy."

"Yeah, a good friend of mine left me a pretty tall order to fill. But, I did it. All of it."

"I'm proud of you, Zander. Has she seen it yet?"

"Yeah, just a little while ago. It didn't look like you were gonna... um. I should have taken two handkerchiefs with me. It turned out great, Sonny. You have to see it."

"I already have. Thank you for taking care of her. I owe you."

"No, you don't. We both did what we had to do. Thanks for giving me another chance. I did my best because I knew you were depending on me. I grew up a lot the last couple of weeks. I mean I had to... I had some pretty big shoes to fill. So, I just wanted to say thanks."

Watching the two men reconnect the bond they had shared Alexis reached for another tissue. Concerned that Sonny was over doing it she stepped closer and put her arm around Zander's waist and reached down to take hold of Sonny's hand. What little time it had taken for her to call Zander in had left her desperate for Sonny's touch again.

"Zander, he needs to rest now. Could you find Alan for me and tell him our buddy here is awake?"

"Sure thing. Fast as I can."

He winked at her and left quickly to find Alan looking back once just before the door closed behind him. He grinned widely at the sight of Sonny and Alexis kissing. Nodding in satisfaction he grabbed the nearest nurse looked her dead in the eye and stated emphatically "Mission Accomplished" and proceeded to plant a kiss of his own on the surprised nurse's cheek before racing off to find Alan.