Chapter 3: CATASTROPHE! Rezo's Day gets Worse
(Rezo storms into the manor, raging with fury. He finds Kopii (who, unlike his predecessor, can open his eyes at any given moment.)
Rezo: Kopii, what am I wearing right now?
Kopii: (Who is busy reading Marmalade Boy and doesn't even bother to look up) Clothes.
Rezo: No really I never would have guessed.
Kopii: All right already you're wearing the same red robes, same shoulder guards...like...you...always...do...(looks up, then starts laughing hysterically)
Rezo: I knew it! What is so funny?
Kopii: NOTHING I JUST NOTICED YOU'RE A BIG SUPPORTER OF PUBLIC...
(Just then Eris happens to walk into the room and overhears the conversation. Before Kopii can say too much she starts freaking out and charading to him to STOP immediately—there was too much at stake, namely shoulder spikes!)
Rezo: Go on, Kopii, what were you about to say?
Kopii: Uh...this book is SO funny! Hahahaha! You should really read it! Hahahaha!
Rezo: Somehow I have a feeling that isn't it...I'm going to go change before anyone else sees me in whatever ridiculous getup Eris has stuck me in.
(Rezo leaves and Eris pulls Kopii over.)
Eris: Kopii, I have to tell you something...
Kopii: Let me guess. That grandson/great-grandson of Rezo's has gone and cooked up some crazy plan to embarrass Rezo into next week for turning him into a chimera, and somehow it involves you raiding Rezo's closet and dressing him up like a complete idiot, right?
Eris: Yup. But you can't say anything about it to Rezo, whatever you do!
Kopii: I like the whole public humiliation thing, but I'm not gonna keep quiet if there isn't anything in it for me!
Eris: (Thinking...which doesn't usually come naturally to her) Uh...I'll buy you the latest Richard Simmons tape, "Dance your way to Buff Biceps and Tight Tushies!"
Kopii: Deal! (They shake on it). With this latest installment of the series, I will one day become ultimately MORE POWERFUL THAN REZO! BWAHAHAHAHA!
Eris: (Or have a nice butt...)
(A few moments later Rezo is back in front of his closet with Eris wearing a red bathrobe over his monstrosity of an outfit.)
Rezo: Eris, since you wrote all those nice things about me in your diary like how I was "really hot and nice and cute and cuddly" I will forgive you for the misery and torture you have put me through.
Eris: What have I done? I haven't done anything! You are wearing your red robes as always! But if you insist you can go change...Hey! You read my diary??? How dare you...
Rezo: (Grabs another random robe and shoulder guards. This time the robe is pink, with lace around the edges and little red hearts on it. The shoulder guards are also pink.) Okay, now tell me the truth. Is THIS one RED????
Eris: (Holding in her laughter) Of course it is!
Rezo: Are you SURE??? Cause if it isn't, remember I AM the most powerful human in the entire world!
Eris: Geez, don't bite my head off it's red, it's red! Now go put it on and do stuff!
(Rezo retreats into the bathroom again and puts on the robe and shoulder guards and comes out.)
Rezo: So how do I look?
Eris: You look pretty!
Rezo: Go on, pretty what?
Eris: Pretty...uh...masculine?
Rezo: (Does a peace sign) You bet! Now off to the tavern! You can go make that possum stew you were talking about and feed it to Kopii or something!
Eris: Will do... (Bursts out laughing once he's gone.)
(Kopii walks in)
Kopii: You know that wasn't very nice of you Eris.
Eris: Well, he DID ask if he was wearing RED, he just didn't specify what SHADE of red he was wearing! Pink IS a kind of LIGHT red, right Kopii?
Kopii: I guess...?
(Rezo walks a couple of miles to the nearest tavern, where a bunch of people are sitting around eating...big surprise there. The creepy music that plays pretty much everywhere he goes gets louder and louder as he approaches the door. The people in the restaurant, knowing Rezo and his tendency to have violent mood swings, tremble in fear. Rezo's silhouette gets clearer and clearer on the other side of the frosted window of the door and the "clang, clang" sound from his staff gets louder and louder. A few people duck under their tables. The door opens...)
Random Person 1: (Notices Rezo's new outfit) Heeheeheeheehee...hey check out the lady! Hehehehe!
Random Person 2: It's Rezo the Pink Princess! Hahaha!
(Rezo is too steamed to notice the comments and walks up to the counter.)
Rezo: One order of ramen please.
Bartender: Did you get dressed in the dark or something ma'am??? HEY CHEF ONE ORDER OF RAMEN FOR THE CROSS DRESSER!
Rezo: !?!? (Just then he notices...the ends of his sleeves are all lacy...like a dress...)
Bartender: Ya know, you remind me of a guy who came here about a week ago with a bunch of other people...said his name was Nuriko...he had purple hair just like you too...do you shop together or something?
Rezo: (mutters a spell under his breath and soon the entire tavern is a pile of ashes and smoldering stuff) ERIS YOU ARE DEAD MEAT!!!!!!
(Meanwhile, back in the manor...)
Kopii: (Standing in front of the television in a tank top and biker shorts waiting for the onscreen instructions)
Richard Simmons: Hey all you lucky people out there are you ready to get those biceps pumpin' and those Tushies tushin'? Do you have the DAAANCE FEEEEVER?
Kopii: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH! (Jumps up and down all excited-like)
Eris: O.o (Leaves room) Too scary to watch...
(Rezo storms into the manor, raging with fury. He finds Kopii (who, unlike his predecessor, can open his eyes at any given moment.)
Rezo: Kopii, what am I wearing right now?
Kopii: (Who is busy reading Marmalade Boy and doesn't even bother to look up) Clothes.
Rezo: No really I never would have guessed.
Kopii: All right already you're wearing the same red robes, same shoulder guards...like...you...always...do...(looks up, then starts laughing hysterically)
Rezo: I knew it! What is so funny?
Kopii: NOTHING I JUST NOTICED YOU'RE A BIG SUPPORTER OF PUBLIC...
(Just then Eris happens to walk into the room and overhears the conversation. Before Kopii can say too much she starts freaking out and charading to him to STOP immediately—there was too much at stake, namely shoulder spikes!)
Rezo: Go on, Kopii, what were you about to say?
Kopii: Uh...this book is SO funny! Hahahaha! You should really read it! Hahahaha!
Rezo: Somehow I have a feeling that isn't it...I'm going to go change before anyone else sees me in whatever ridiculous getup Eris has stuck me in.
(Rezo leaves and Eris pulls Kopii over.)
Eris: Kopii, I have to tell you something...
Kopii: Let me guess. That grandson/great-grandson of Rezo's has gone and cooked up some crazy plan to embarrass Rezo into next week for turning him into a chimera, and somehow it involves you raiding Rezo's closet and dressing him up like a complete idiot, right?
Eris: Yup. But you can't say anything about it to Rezo, whatever you do!
Kopii: I like the whole public humiliation thing, but I'm not gonna keep quiet if there isn't anything in it for me!
Eris: (Thinking...which doesn't usually come naturally to her) Uh...I'll buy you the latest Richard Simmons tape, "Dance your way to Buff Biceps and Tight Tushies!"
Kopii: Deal! (They shake on it). With this latest installment of the series, I will one day become ultimately MORE POWERFUL THAN REZO! BWAHAHAHAHA!
Eris: (Or have a nice butt...)
(A few moments later Rezo is back in front of his closet with Eris wearing a red bathrobe over his monstrosity of an outfit.)
Rezo: Eris, since you wrote all those nice things about me in your diary like how I was "really hot and nice and cute and cuddly" I will forgive you for the misery and torture you have put me through.
Eris: What have I done? I haven't done anything! You are wearing your red robes as always! But if you insist you can go change...Hey! You read my diary??? How dare you...
Rezo: (Grabs another random robe and shoulder guards. This time the robe is pink, with lace around the edges and little red hearts on it. The shoulder guards are also pink.) Okay, now tell me the truth. Is THIS one RED????
Eris: (Holding in her laughter) Of course it is!
Rezo: Are you SURE??? Cause if it isn't, remember I AM the most powerful human in the entire world!
Eris: Geez, don't bite my head off it's red, it's red! Now go put it on and do stuff!
(Rezo retreats into the bathroom again and puts on the robe and shoulder guards and comes out.)
Rezo: So how do I look?
Eris: You look pretty!
Rezo: Go on, pretty what?
Eris: Pretty...uh...masculine?
Rezo: (Does a peace sign) You bet! Now off to the tavern! You can go make that possum stew you were talking about and feed it to Kopii or something!
Eris: Will do... (Bursts out laughing once he's gone.)
(Kopii walks in)
Kopii: You know that wasn't very nice of you Eris.
Eris: Well, he DID ask if he was wearing RED, he just didn't specify what SHADE of red he was wearing! Pink IS a kind of LIGHT red, right Kopii?
Kopii: I guess...?
(Rezo walks a couple of miles to the nearest tavern, where a bunch of people are sitting around eating...big surprise there. The creepy music that plays pretty much everywhere he goes gets louder and louder as he approaches the door. The people in the restaurant, knowing Rezo and his tendency to have violent mood swings, tremble in fear. Rezo's silhouette gets clearer and clearer on the other side of the frosted window of the door and the "clang, clang" sound from his staff gets louder and louder. A few people duck under their tables. The door opens...)
Random Person 1: (Notices Rezo's new outfit) Heeheeheeheehee...hey check out the lady! Hehehehe!
Random Person 2: It's Rezo the Pink Princess! Hahaha!
(Rezo is too steamed to notice the comments and walks up to the counter.)
Rezo: One order of ramen please.
Bartender: Did you get dressed in the dark or something ma'am??? HEY CHEF ONE ORDER OF RAMEN FOR THE CROSS DRESSER!
Rezo: !?!? (Just then he notices...the ends of his sleeves are all lacy...like a dress...)
Bartender: Ya know, you remind me of a guy who came here about a week ago with a bunch of other people...said his name was Nuriko...he had purple hair just like you too...do you shop together or something?
Rezo: (mutters a spell under his breath and soon the entire tavern is a pile of ashes and smoldering stuff) ERIS YOU ARE DEAD MEAT!!!!!!
(Meanwhile, back in the manor...)
Kopii: (Standing in front of the television in a tank top and biker shorts waiting for the onscreen instructions)
Richard Simmons: Hey all you lucky people out there are you ready to get those biceps pumpin' and those Tushies tushin'? Do you have the DAAANCE FEEEEVER?
Kopii: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH! (Jumps up and down all excited-like)
Eris: O.o (Leaves room) Too scary to watch...