Author's Note: Okay...I'm going on an author's rampage...but not at my precious reviewers. I'm so furious with Fanfiction.net right now, that I could scream. I know I have 76 reviews. However, I've not been able to read the last 13.

Therefore, I have no idea if you guys even like the story anymore since I haven't been able to see a review from the last two chapters. So, right now, I'm going through review withdrawal. I've become addicted to reviews and I think I need to go through some 12 step program to get over this addiction. ^_^

Anyways, if it's not too much trouble, could you please send a copy of your review to me at deplora703@cs.com *puppy dog eyes* Note: That is a copy of your review as I still want the review to be able to be viewed on Fanfiction.net eventually, if they ever get it working. You don't have to if you don't want to, and if you read this after the review system has begun to work again, don't worry about it. I'm just going crazy right now from not being able to see those last 13 reviews. For all I know, I've been flamed, roasted, and served for Sunday dinner.

I know this author's note doesn't make much sense really, but bear with me, it's midnight...and I'm really mad at Fanfiction.net and their PMS problems. Yes, that's right, I said PMS. Since this has been going on for four days now, that's what I'm going to call it. Hopefully, it will pass within the next day or so.

Okay....I'll shut up now and write. That's what you really want anyways, right?

And I have a warning: This is a very angsty chapter...no like, no read, kay?

[Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy. If I did, Squall would be locked in my room and be my....well, let's not go there.]

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Chapter Ten: Sleep

"Miss Kisaragi, the doctor will see you now," the young nurse called from the hallway. Yuffie arose from her chair slowly and followed her down the hall into the cold exam room, sitting on the exam table to await Dr. Murray.

While she sat there, Yuffie thought about how hellish the last month had been. She had managed somehow to make it through her finals and still pass the classes even though she had been unable to concentrate, her mind always drifting to Squall and how he had used her. Today was especially rough on her, for it was December 20, exactly one month since the "incident" as she had begun to call it.

Closing her eyes, she decided she might as well try and catch up on some of her sleep while she waited for the doctor. But, as soon as they closed, Squall was there in her mind, telling her it was a mistake. She had been this way for a month now, the memory of giving herself to Squall, only to have him throw it back in her face, haunting her. Having been averaging around two hours of sleep a night, which was also haunted by Squall, she had grown haggard looking. Finally, at her mother's urging, she made an appointment to see the family doctor.

The door creaked open just as Yuffie was about to fall asleep and Dr. Murray stepped in, carrying and reading the clipboard with her chart. "Miss Kisaragi, what seems to be the problem?"

She almost said 'everything,' but stopped herself in time. "I haven't been able to sleep for the past month," she yawned as she told him this, watching him through blurry eyes as he made a note on her chart.

"Has anything stressful happened since then?" he asked, a concerned look on his face.

Yuffie sighed, silently debating on how much she should tell him. "No, there were my finals, but I didn't stress over them."

He continued to ask questions, making occasional notes as he took her blood pressure and tested her reflexes. Finally satisfied with his examination, he handed her a slip of paper. "Here, I'm prescribing some sleeping pills, Ambien. They shouldn't cause you any problems, but, if you do have any averse side effects, don't hesitate to come in." He looked at her concernedly for a moment. "And, Miss Kisaragi, you might want to start eating a little more. You're looking underweight."

She nodded, yawning once again as she got off the table and walked to the receptionist's window to pay her bill. Going out to the parking lot, Yuffie climbed into her car and sat for a moment, not wanting to go home. She knew what awaited her there. Although she had only been home for a week, her mother had already set her up with five blind dates. But, much to her mother's disappointment, Yuffie had also refused to go on these dates, knowing they were business men her parents approved of. In fact, Yuffie had spent most of this week lying on her bed, trying unsuccessfully to not think of Squall, with the occasional interruption from her parents, urging her to come downstairs to meet some 'nice man.'

Realizing that if she didn't get home soon, her parents would come looking for her, Yuffie started her car and headed for the pharmacy to fill her prescription. Words could not describe how happy she was knowing that at last she would be able to sleep and forget about Squall, if only for a few hours.

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"Okay, Yuffie, it's a new year and a new semester. You can do this," she muttered to herself as she climbed the three flights of stairs to her dorm room, dragging her large suitcase behind her. Yes, I can do this...as long as I don't see Squall, she added upon reaching her door. Just as she was pulling her key out to unlock it, the door swung open revealing Kairi.

The red-head stared in shock for a moment, not believing the sight before her. The vibrancy that was once present in her roommate's eyes had left, leaving a dull, hollow look. She had lost a considerable amount of weight as well, which she couldn't afford to lose since she had been small to begin with. Her blue jeans hung low on her waist, nearly falling off. "Yuffie? What happened to you?"

"Nothing. Now, if you don't mind, could you please move so I can come in?" Pushing past her, Yuffie lugged the heavy suitcase in, ignoring the worried looks from Kairi. She immediately began to unpack, and Kairi noticed she took a bottle of pills out and set them beside the sink.

"Yuffie, did something happened at home?" Kairi prodded gently, trying to make sense out of the situation. Here was her once perky roommate, who was now listless and haggard looking. It simply made no sense to her.

Sighing, Yuffie glanced up from her dresser where she had been putting away clothes. "No...just the usual. My mother setting me up on blind dates and trying to convince me to not go back to school." She didn't mention the real reason she was like this, not wanting Kairi to know about Squall. Pulling out a pair of flannel pajamas before slamming the drawer shut, Yuffie walked to the bathroom to change. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm getting ready for bed." With that, she quietly shut the bathroom door in Kairi's face.

The red-head looked at the clock across the room in confusion, it was only 5:43. Why would Yuffie be going to bed this early? When Yuffie came out of the bathroom, Kairi asked, "Yuffie, you're going to bed now? It's not even 6 o' clock yet."

Nodding, Yuffie replied, "I know, but I'm really tired. I had an eight hour drive, ya know." As she said this, she opened the pill bottle and poured out two in the palm of her hand. Tossing them into her mouth, she chased them with a glass of water before brushing her teeth.

"Yuf, what are the pills for?" her roommate wondered, becoming increasingly worried for Yuffie's well-being.

"Hmm? Oh, those. They're for my insomnia. The doctor prescribed them for me about a month ago." Leaving the bathroom area, Yuffie stepped slowly over to her bed, pulling back the covers before sliding beneath them. She noticed that Kairi was about to turn the lights off and she stopped her. "Don't worry about the lights, Kai. These pills will have me knocked out. Lights and noise won't bother me." As soon as she closed her eyes, visions of Squall appeared before her, paining her as always. However, since she had begun to take Ambien, she would soon drift into a dreamless sleep, where she could escape from the constant reminder of Squall and the "incident."

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Monday morning Yuffie's alarm clock went off, jarring her awake. But she simply turned it off and went back to sleep, not caring if she was missing her first class. Ten minutes later, Kairi was shaking her awake. "Yuffie? Yuffie? YUFFIE!"

"Hmm? I don't wanna get up," she murmured rolling over and pulling her head beneath the blankets.

"You have to get up. You're going to be late for class," Kairi said calmly as she pulled the blankets off Yuffie's sleepy form. "Remember? Class? And how much you hate to be late?"

Yuffie opened one eye to glare at the red-head. "I don't care anymore, Kairi, really. Now, please, just let me go back to sleep." The opened eye closed slowly as she saw her roommate leave her line of vision.

A moment later, she heard Kairi mumbling, "I'm sorry, Yuffie. But you leave me with no choice." As soon as those words were out of her mouth, she poured a glass of water over her sleeping roommate's face.

Sputtering, Yuffie sat up in a hurry, glowering at Kairi. "I swear, Kairi, I'm going to kill you." Rising from the bed, she lunged toward the red-head, murder showing in her eyes.

Laughing, Kairi leapt out of the way, causing Yuffie to fall down. She leaned over and grabbed her hand, hoisting her up, surprised at how light she felt and how weak her grasp was. "You'll thank me later, Yuffie. Now, come on. We have class in half an hour."

Drying her face with a towel, Yuffie muttered, "I'm not going."

"Yes, you are. Even if I have to drag you kicking and screaming the whole way." Going to Yuffie's closet, she threw her some clothes. "Here, go get dressed. Sora will be here in a minute to pick us up."

Yuffie rolled her eyes, submitting to her roommate's demands simply because she was too tired to do otherwise. She came out of the bathroom a moment later, fully dressed, and searching for a belt to hold her pants up as they kept sliding down her hips. Unable to locate one, she turned to her roommate, "Kairi, you wouldn't happen to have a belt I could borrow, do you?"

"Yeah, but since when did you start wearing one?" she replied, worry creasing her brows as she found the belt and handed it to Yuffie.

Coming up with a quick lie, Yuffie answered, "Oh, it's just these blue jeans. They were mis-sized and I didn't realize it when I bought them. The store had a no return policy."

Kairi mumbled, "Oh," not really believing her story. "Well, hurry up. We still have to stop by the cafeteria for breakfast."

No sooner had the words left Kairi's mouth, than there was a knocking at the door. The red-head rushed to the door and threw it open, revealing a grinning Sora. Kairi tackled him in a crushing hug, cutting off his air supply. Hearing him gasping for breath, Yuffie gently pulled her away, allowing Sora to breath. "Geez, Kairi...it's only been eighteen hours since I last saw you."

"I know, but I just missed you so much." She stood on tip-toe to give him a quick peck on the cheek. She turned back to Yuffie, "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah...as ready as I'm going to be." Grabbing her backpack, she reluctantly followed the two of them. She closed and locked the door before remembering she had left her schedule inside. "I'll meet you guys outside, I forgot something," she called as they started down the stairs.

Once they were alone, Sora to Kairi, his blue eyes filled with worry. "Is it just me, or does Yuffie look like she's been sick?" he asked.

Kairi nodded distractedly. "Yeah, she doesn't look good. And she's been taking sleeping pills." She sighed softly. "I know something's wrong, but she won't tell me." Pausing to think for a moment, she continued, "She's been like this since Thanksgiving. Something happened then, but I don't know what."

Sora put a comforting arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer. "Well, whatever it is, I'm sure she'll snap out of it. She doesn't seem like the kind to wallow in depression."

"I know. That's why I'm so worried," the red-head murmured under her breath.

A few minutes later, Yuffie caught up with them and the three of them headed across campus, pulling their coats closer as the cold wind cut through the material. Upon reaching the cafeteria, they thankfully stepped inside and were welcomed by the warmth from the heating system. Locating an empty table, they left their coats and backpacks to go stand in the long line for breakfast.

"Yuffie, is that all you're going to eat?" Kairi asked as Yuffie left the line after grabbing a small cup of yogurt.

"Yeah, I'm not that hungry anyways," she answered as she walked back to the table. Kairi and Sora soon joined her, their trays loaded down with food. "Y'all are actually going to eat all of that?" Yuffie asked as she pointed to their breakfast.

Sora smiled. "Yeah, I'm really hungry," he said as he began to shovel food into his gaping mouth. Kairi slapped the back of his head, causing him to choke. "What was that for?" he managed to gasp out after getting his breath back.

"Use your manners!" the red-head commanded, to which he meekly complied.

Across from them, Yuffie watched the exchange between the two lovers with a mixture of envy and disgust. They are so in love, she thought, and her thoughts instantly turned to thoughts of Squall. As this happened, the one spoonful of yogurt she had eaten began to turn her stomach. She pushed the rest of it away, saying, "I think this is spoilt."

Kairi looked at her. "Well, go get another one, then."

"No, that's okay. I'm not hungry anyways." Yuffie continued to sit there, watching them out of hollow eyes, waiting for them to finish their breakfast before going to class since they did have the same classes today.

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Arriving back at her dorm around noon, Yuffie grabbed a candy bar from the shelf to quell the rumblings of her stomach. She had eaten about half of it when she became unable to handle the rest, which she promptly threw away. Drinking a glass of water, she washed the remnants of chocolate and nuts out of her mouth.

Since she had the rest of the afternoon off, she lay on her bed and turned the TV on, hoping to find something decent on. Flipping through the channels, she settled on an old black and white comedy on AMC.

She soon fell asleep in the middle of the show, only to wake up hours later to find that Casablanca had come on. Remembering the only other time she had seen the movie had been the night they were studying at Squall's apartment, Yuffie flicked the TV off, trying desperately to push all memories of him away.

Just then, she heard the door opening, allowing Kairi and Sora to enter the room. Yuffie looked at them tiredly, wondering why they had come. Walking over to the bed where Yuffie was lying, Kairi sat down. "Hey, Yuf, we were wondering if you want to join us for dinner?" she asked softly.

Yuffie shook her head. "No, I'm really tired. I think I'm just going to go to bed."

Sora glanced down at his watch and exchanged a worried look with Kairi. "But, Yuffie, it's only 6:30...isn't that a little early for bed?" he questioned.

"Okay, so I'm tired and trying to catch up on my sleep. Geez, you guys are starting to sound like my parents." She scowled at that thought. "Which I don't need more of."

"We're just worried about you, that's all," Kairi said quietly as she got up from where she was sitting. Yuffie waved them away, leaving her and Sora with no choice but to leave without her. As soon as they had left, Yuffie went to the bathroom and took two pills, wanting to sleep.

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The next morning, Yuffie actually got up when her alarm clock began screeching, knowing that missing a bio II lab meant an instant failure. On her way across campus, she prayed that Squall would not be in the class. She climbed the stairs, becoming exhausted soon after the first flight. "I guess I'm letting myself slip," she gasped as she dragged herself up to the fourth floor. Walking down the hall, she soon found her lab, and as soon as she walked in, she felt like running.

Not very many people had shown up yet, Yuffie being 15 minutes early. But, there, across the room, sat Squall. He glanced at her when he had heard the door open, but quickly lowered it again when he saw that it was her. In the one second he had spent looking at her, Yuffie noticed the scar running between his eyes, and took a sick pleasure in knowing that she had been the one to give it to him. We're even, Squall, she silently thought. I gave you that scar to make up for the scar you gave me on my heart. She stalked to the furthest seat away from him as she could get, sitting on the stool with her back turned towards him.

Once she had sat down where she couldn't see him, Squall turned his gaze to her once more. He watched as she shrugged off her coat, seeing how very thin she had become since he had last seen her. I did this to her, the voice in his head screamed. Before he could continue his self-chastisement, the TA walked in. It was once again Mr. Siewort who taught this lab as well.

Mr. Siewort began to pass out the papers, not showing recognition with his former students. "Please, fill out the forms, leaving your partner's name blank as that will be assigned momentarily." The class did as told, as the TA began to go down the roster, pairing students off alphabetically. Coming to the k's, he called, "Kisaragi, you will be paired with," he paused as he read the roll, and Yuffie prayed it wouldn't be who she thought it would be. "Leonheart," he finished, dousing all of her hopes.

Closing her eyes and taking a few deep breaths, she gathered her things and slowly walked over to where Squall was sitting. She sat down, never saying a word, yet knowing that it couldn't go on like this the whole semester. Something had to give somewhere. As she finished filling out the form Mr. Siewort had passed out, she dropped her pencil on the floor. "Damn it," she hissed under her breath.

Squall watched as she leaned over to pick her pencil up off the ground, his eyes widening as her shirt rose up her back and her spine jutted out from the skin. She's been starving herself, his mind screamed. And it's my fault. He was about to open his mouth to say something, when Yuffie realized he had been staring at her. She sent a death glare his way through hollow eyes before going back to her paper.

When the TA announced that class was dismissed, Yuffie bolted out the door, heading straight for her dorm. She really didn't want to deal with this right now. And she had no idea how she was going to handle having Squall as a partner, again. The day he told her it was a mistake was the day she felt as though a knife had been stabbed through her heart. And with every thought of him, the knife was twisted deeper into her.

Once at her dorm, she realized what she had to do to stop the pain. Sitting at her desk, she took out a pen and a piece of stationary and began writing, tears falling from her cheeks and onto the paper as she wrote. When she had finished, she carefully folded it in half and placed it in an envelope, writing "Squall" on the front. She walked dazedly to the sink, where her bottle of pills were sitting. Opening it carefully and deliberately, she poured out a handful of pills and popped them into her mouth, and then reached for the water. With the note to Squall safely in one hand, she walked back to her bed and lay down...knowing it would all be over soon. It would all just go away...

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Author's Note: Yes, I know...I'm evil. I'm leaving you hanging there with no clear idea of when I'll have the time to do the next chapter. But, anyways, please review. And, if it's not too much trouble, could you please e-mail me a copy of your review and let me know what you've thought of the last 3 chapters since Fanfiction.net won't let me see the reviews from Chapters 8 and 9. Thank you. That address is deplora703@cs.com

Oh, by the way, I still have a goal of 100 reviews. Please make that dream a reality and review. ^_^