My heart didn't know how to trust. Didn't know feeling other then
pain, and depression. I put up an act everyday....until he came... And now,
I am far from my family........And hopefully I will never see them again.
But I know others felt like me before. So I wrote this story. Based on my
life. The story about freedom, truth, faith, betrayal, and most of
all....love.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My heart acked with pain. The sadness and depression was to much! I have needed a savior since I had turned twelve. Praying every night for someone to come. Take me away. But no. No one came.
My saphhire eyes always held sadness. My pain hidden when around others. I acted as if my life was the best around others. But the truth was, it wasn't. My quote always resided in my mind. The greatest thing in life is to love, and to be loved by someone...in return. One starry night of my sixteinth birthday that someone came.
He is a assasin hired to kill my family. He had watched my family for days. He had watched me more then anyone. He saw my act of happiness. And he knew what that felt like. He had been like that once. But someone had helped him.
And now this man must do the one thing that many have never dared to do. Heal my broken heart.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I smiled weakly at my friends. I didn't want to go home. Another fight had happened that morning with my mother. And now when I got home I was sure. Like always. I would cry....My wish not coming true....... Waving farewell to my friends I left. Knowing no one could understand the pain I went through day by day. Night by night...
It was an act. An act to make sure my family did not get in trouble for treating me as such. But I knew. I knew that if they ever found out. They would laugh. And make fun. But because of this I pushed myself to rise above their level. I would not hurt anyone's feelings. But I would also not trust anyone.
~~~At Night~~~
I held back the tears as I listened to my family make fun. I knew that they didn't remember I had feeling's. I was tired. Really tired. After a while I just left them to there beckoring. They had called me names they thought I had not heard. Such names as crazy, dumb, stupid, and the worst one was that they said I had no future. They said I would be in jail when I grew up. Or a maniac institute.
Feeling hurt I turned on my song and sang to myself the lines that had meant so much to me. The only thing I had left.
"I'm so tired of being here... Surpressed by all my childish fears.... And if you have to leave.. I wish that you would just leave... Your presence still lingers here.. And it won't leave me alone... These wounds won't seem to heal... This pain is just to real... There's just so much that time cannot erase....."
My father now lives in Brazil. After divoricing my mother he married another woman. Leiko was her name. She became preganent and had a child. A boy. Even though I do not approve of this family I love him. I wan't him to live life to it's fullest. I wan't him to remember his childhood as if it was the best part of his life! I wanted Yasuo to live his life opposite then mine.
" When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears... When you scream I'd fight away all of your fears.... And I held your hand through all of these years.... But you still have..... All of me........"
My father works as a general. Everyone thought he cared about me. But they where blind. They did not see. Did not know. That my father was last seen by my eyes seven years ago. He would send us telegrams every once in a while but I knew I could not hold onto this life any longer. If I was not saved. I would kill myself. I know suicide wasn't ever the answer. But at least... At least this life would never have to be seen again.........Ever.........
"You used to captivate me......
By your resonating light.....
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind........
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams....
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me......
These wounds won't seem to heal.....
This pain is just too real....
There's just too much that time cannot erase...."
My mother wasn't the coolest either. I know that she always put up a goody goody act around my friends. But when I was by myself with her. I knew my sanity was going to be lost. I knew......I knew......I knew I was alone.
"When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears.....
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears.......
And I've held your hand through all of these years.......
But you still have all of me..."
Alone....Such a harsh word for just one person. I began to fantasize about being taken away. Away from my cruel jail called a house. No. It wasn't my home. It was just another house. I didn't have a home. You could say I was a stray. In my entire life I had only met one person who I had truly loved. But he left. And like the end of the song. I realized the same thing....The same cruel thing destiny and fate have brought together for me......The thing I wish I never would have realized.....The thing no one want's......
"I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
And though you're still with me
I've been alone all along."
I lay myself to sleep. Again my brain would be filled with a life where I had joy. I used to belief in fairy tales. But now I don't. I detest my brothers cruel jokes. I detest my mother when she acts as if I where still a baby. I hate my life..... Little did I know that tonight my wish would be answered. The night of the murder.......
I'm bleeding in ways of the fire burned
I'm crying in ways of the nightbird
No more is there one to lay by my side
I'm straying in nightmares all the time
I awoke again to find it was still night. A scream was heard from inside my kitchen. I thought it was my brother and his foolish acts again. I walked to the door but paused when I felt warmth on my feet. I looked down to see red liquid surrounding my feet. One word popping into my mind. Blood........
A little something I know
A little somewhere I go, reminds me of you
To blossom blue, is to blossom without you
I threw the door open to find a body on the floor. Tears flowed down my already pale face. My brother......A scream entered my throat but I did not let it escape. Whatever had done this was still out here. And I was a target....I held in my tears as I looked around for the person, the thing, who did this crime. My heart was breaking even more now. I was going to lose it soon......
I'm breaking but I cannot bear to
I'm staring but I cannot see you
For no more are you to lay by my side
I'm weeping no more then this second time
I cannot help but run. My feet just took off at the sight of the blade. I don't know what it was. I don't know what happened. All I know is that I am running through the forest. My eyes are heavy. Should I just stop? Should I just let it kill me so I could get rid of this life. No....I was to stubborn to stop.
A little something I know
A little somewhere I go
Where the sweet waters flow, reminds me of you
My feet are sore. My heart aches. But my mind is overflowed with the thought of getting away. Deep down I liked what he did. I liked the fact that the retard was dead. Not keeping my eyes in focus I ran into someone. The impact did not hit me as I realized I was truly happy. I was going to be rid of this grap! I would never have to see the sun again!
A little something I know
A little somewhere I go
Where the sweet waters flow
Where the mistletoes grow, reminds me of you
I stared into the eyes of the killer. But I knew it was not the one who resided in my house. I knew it was a friend. He was tall. His brown hair spiky with his red bandana flowing. He was smirking. I closed my eyes waiting for the impact that would end my pain.....But it never came....
To blossom blue, is to blossom without you
Opening them back up quickly I found a man. He had protected me with his sword. I know any normal human beings would have cherished what he had done. But I did not. I hated him for the doing. Running forward I pushed him. My mind screaming for death. My body acking to see my own blood. I looked into his eyes. I never had seen such eyes before. Each man looking at me...Each....staring......
When I look into your eyes there's nothing there to see
Nothing but my own mistakes staring back at me
I knew he could see right through me. Right through my mask. He smiled at me. His golden eyes hinted with understanding. "Why did you kill my family?" He just smiled and rapped his arms around my body. I was shocked. But it was quickly swept away as my mask broke. And my tears began to flow.....
Everything has to end
You'll soon find that we're out of time left to watch it all unwind
Everything falls apart
Even the people who never frown eventually breakdown
Everything has to end
You'll soon find that we're out of time left to watch in all unwind
Everything falls apart
Even the people who never frown eventually break down
I held onto the man tighter. My face buried in his chest. I did not care what layed as my fate beyond but I did not want to let go. He may have been the killer of the one full blooded brother I had. But I felt comfortable in his arms.....But my breakdown did not last long. My mother had ran into the clearing. And her eyes widened as she saw that the mask which she had loved so much...Was now broken....
I've lied to you
This is the last smile that I'll fake for the sake of being with you
I gave her one of my assuring smiles. But I knew that she knew the truth. Everyone in the area now knew. I was not who I seemed to be.....
Everything falls apart even
Even the people who never frown eventually break down
Everything has to end
You'll soon find we're out of time left to watch it all unwind
The sake of being with you
Everything falls apart
Even the people who never frown eventually break down
The sacrifice is never knowing
"Hold her Sano. And do not let her see this." I was surprised when I was held onto the taller man's chest. He tried to hold my head back so I would not see. So I would not see the crime he was about to commit....The crime punishable by god.....
Why I stayed with you
When you just push away
No matter what you see
You're still so blind to me
His red hair flowed drastically in the wind as I watched in horror...The sword had been taken into the air. And it came down just as fast......My eyes widen in shock......
Even the people who never frown eventually break down
"MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I did not know how I broke free from the man's steel grip. All I know was I was next to my mother who gave me a smile of hope. A smile I had never seen her give me. I smile I would see for the last time....
I've tried, like you, to do everything you wanted to
This is the last time
That I'll take the blame for the sake of being with you
Everything falls apart
Even the people who never frown eventually break down
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
Everything has to end
You'll soon find we're out of time left to watch it all unwind
The sacrifice is never knowing
Her last words truly shocked me. I could not believe what she had said. She did not want me to feel guilty...."It isn't your fault......"
Why I stay with you
When you just push away
No matter what you see
You're still so blind to me
My tears swept across my face. I knew the fact that hurt me even more then ever. My statement from earlier had really come true. Now...I was truly alone......
Reverse psychology is failing miserably
It's so hard to be left all alone Telling you is the only chance for me
There is nothing left but to turn and face you
I stood. My eyes hidden behind my bangs. My katana clutched in my hands. I looked up. Anger, Pain, and the word I don't like to say ...hate shown within my eyes. I stared into the eyes of the one to blame. The one who broke my mask...My mask....and my family.....
When I look into your eyes there's nothing there to see
Nothing but my own mistakes staring back at me
Asking why
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
The sacrifice is never knowing
"Sano, call for guards. I will need as many as I can get on the way to the hotel." Nodding the tall man ran. I did not care for him. The one I wanted to see lifeless was the man in front of me. My thoughts where blocked by hate as I ran forward. I would kill this man....He would die.....
Why I stayed with you
When you just push away
No matter what you see
You're still so blind to me
I missed a couple times. He was fast. But my fury could cut through the quickest defenese. The quickest and the strongest.....
Why I stayed with you
When you just push away
No matter what you see
You're still so blind to me
My sword entered his shoulder. His blood spilled across my face. My eyes widen in shock as one thought comes to mind. What have I done.......
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My heart acked with pain. The sadness and depression was to much! I have needed a savior since I had turned twelve. Praying every night for someone to come. Take me away. But no. No one came.
My saphhire eyes always held sadness. My pain hidden when around others. I acted as if my life was the best around others. But the truth was, it wasn't. My quote always resided in my mind. The greatest thing in life is to love, and to be loved by someone...in return. One starry night of my sixteinth birthday that someone came.
He is a assasin hired to kill my family. He had watched my family for days. He had watched me more then anyone. He saw my act of happiness. And he knew what that felt like. He had been like that once. But someone had helped him.
And now this man must do the one thing that many have never dared to do. Heal my broken heart.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I smiled weakly at my friends. I didn't want to go home. Another fight had happened that morning with my mother. And now when I got home I was sure. Like always. I would cry....My wish not coming true....... Waving farewell to my friends I left. Knowing no one could understand the pain I went through day by day. Night by night...
It was an act. An act to make sure my family did not get in trouble for treating me as such. But I knew. I knew that if they ever found out. They would laugh. And make fun. But because of this I pushed myself to rise above their level. I would not hurt anyone's feelings. But I would also not trust anyone.
~~~At Night~~~
I held back the tears as I listened to my family make fun. I knew that they didn't remember I had feeling's. I was tired. Really tired. After a while I just left them to there beckoring. They had called me names they thought I had not heard. Such names as crazy, dumb, stupid, and the worst one was that they said I had no future. They said I would be in jail when I grew up. Or a maniac institute.
Feeling hurt I turned on my song and sang to myself the lines that had meant so much to me. The only thing I had left.
"I'm so tired of being here... Surpressed by all my childish fears.... And if you have to leave.. I wish that you would just leave... Your presence still lingers here.. And it won't leave me alone... These wounds won't seem to heal... This pain is just to real... There's just so much that time cannot erase....."
My father now lives in Brazil. After divoricing my mother he married another woman. Leiko was her name. She became preganent and had a child. A boy. Even though I do not approve of this family I love him. I wan't him to live life to it's fullest. I wan't him to remember his childhood as if it was the best part of his life! I wanted Yasuo to live his life opposite then mine.
" When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears... When you scream I'd fight away all of your fears.... And I held your hand through all of these years.... But you still have..... All of me........"
My father works as a general. Everyone thought he cared about me. But they where blind. They did not see. Did not know. That my father was last seen by my eyes seven years ago. He would send us telegrams every once in a while but I knew I could not hold onto this life any longer. If I was not saved. I would kill myself. I know suicide wasn't ever the answer. But at least... At least this life would never have to be seen again.........Ever.........
"You used to captivate me......
By your resonating light.....
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind........
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams....
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me......
These wounds won't seem to heal.....
This pain is just too real....
There's just too much that time cannot erase...."
My mother wasn't the coolest either. I know that she always put up a goody goody act around my friends. But when I was by myself with her. I knew my sanity was going to be lost. I knew......I knew......I knew I was alone.
"When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears.....
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears.......
And I've held your hand through all of these years.......
But you still have all of me..."
Alone....Such a harsh word for just one person. I began to fantasize about being taken away. Away from my cruel jail called a house. No. It wasn't my home. It was just another house. I didn't have a home. You could say I was a stray. In my entire life I had only met one person who I had truly loved. But he left. And like the end of the song. I realized the same thing....The same cruel thing destiny and fate have brought together for me......The thing I wish I never would have realized.....The thing no one want's......
"I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
And though you're still with me
I've been alone all along."
I lay myself to sleep. Again my brain would be filled with a life where I had joy. I used to belief in fairy tales. But now I don't. I detest my brothers cruel jokes. I detest my mother when she acts as if I where still a baby. I hate my life..... Little did I know that tonight my wish would be answered. The night of the murder.......
I'm bleeding in ways of the fire burned
I'm crying in ways of the nightbird
No more is there one to lay by my side
I'm straying in nightmares all the time
I awoke again to find it was still night. A scream was heard from inside my kitchen. I thought it was my brother and his foolish acts again. I walked to the door but paused when I felt warmth on my feet. I looked down to see red liquid surrounding my feet. One word popping into my mind. Blood........
A little something I know
A little somewhere I go, reminds me of you
To blossom blue, is to blossom without you
I threw the door open to find a body on the floor. Tears flowed down my already pale face. My brother......A scream entered my throat but I did not let it escape. Whatever had done this was still out here. And I was a target....I held in my tears as I looked around for the person, the thing, who did this crime. My heart was breaking even more now. I was going to lose it soon......
I'm breaking but I cannot bear to
I'm staring but I cannot see you
For no more are you to lay by my side
I'm weeping no more then this second time
I cannot help but run. My feet just took off at the sight of the blade. I don't know what it was. I don't know what happened. All I know is that I am running through the forest. My eyes are heavy. Should I just stop? Should I just let it kill me so I could get rid of this life. No....I was to stubborn to stop.
A little something I know
A little somewhere I go
Where the sweet waters flow, reminds me of you
My feet are sore. My heart aches. But my mind is overflowed with the thought of getting away. Deep down I liked what he did. I liked the fact that the retard was dead. Not keeping my eyes in focus I ran into someone. The impact did not hit me as I realized I was truly happy. I was going to be rid of this grap! I would never have to see the sun again!
A little something I know
A little somewhere I go
Where the sweet waters flow
Where the mistletoes grow, reminds me of you
I stared into the eyes of the killer. But I knew it was not the one who resided in my house. I knew it was a friend. He was tall. His brown hair spiky with his red bandana flowing. He was smirking. I closed my eyes waiting for the impact that would end my pain.....But it never came....
To blossom blue, is to blossom without you
Opening them back up quickly I found a man. He had protected me with his sword. I know any normal human beings would have cherished what he had done. But I did not. I hated him for the doing. Running forward I pushed him. My mind screaming for death. My body acking to see my own blood. I looked into his eyes. I never had seen such eyes before. Each man looking at me...Each....staring......
When I look into your eyes there's nothing there to see
Nothing but my own mistakes staring back at me
I knew he could see right through me. Right through my mask. He smiled at me. His golden eyes hinted with understanding. "Why did you kill my family?" He just smiled and rapped his arms around my body. I was shocked. But it was quickly swept away as my mask broke. And my tears began to flow.....
Everything has to end
You'll soon find that we're out of time left to watch it all unwind
Everything falls apart
Even the people who never frown eventually breakdown
Everything has to end
You'll soon find that we're out of time left to watch in all unwind
Everything falls apart
Even the people who never frown eventually break down
I held onto the man tighter. My face buried in his chest. I did not care what layed as my fate beyond but I did not want to let go. He may have been the killer of the one full blooded brother I had. But I felt comfortable in his arms.....But my breakdown did not last long. My mother had ran into the clearing. And her eyes widened as she saw that the mask which she had loved so much...Was now broken....
I've lied to you
This is the last smile that I'll fake for the sake of being with you
I gave her one of my assuring smiles. But I knew that she knew the truth. Everyone in the area now knew. I was not who I seemed to be.....
Everything falls apart even
Even the people who never frown eventually break down
Everything has to end
You'll soon find we're out of time left to watch it all unwind
The sake of being with you
Everything falls apart
Even the people who never frown eventually break down
The sacrifice is never knowing
"Hold her Sano. And do not let her see this." I was surprised when I was held onto the taller man's chest. He tried to hold my head back so I would not see. So I would not see the crime he was about to commit....The crime punishable by god.....
Why I stayed with you
When you just push away
No matter what you see
You're still so blind to me
His red hair flowed drastically in the wind as I watched in horror...The sword had been taken into the air. And it came down just as fast......My eyes widen in shock......
Even the people who never frown eventually break down
"MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I did not know how I broke free from the man's steel grip. All I know was I was next to my mother who gave me a smile of hope. A smile I had never seen her give me. I smile I would see for the last time....
I've tried, like you, to do everything you wanted to
This is the last time
That I'll take the blame for the sake of being with you
Everything falls apart
Even the people who never frown eventually break down
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
Everything has to end
You'll soon find we're out of time left to watch it all unwind
The sacrifice is never knowing
Her last words truly shocked me. I could not believe what she had said. She did not want me to feel guilty...."It isn't your fault......"
Why I stay with you
When you just push away
No matter what you see
You're still so blind to me
My tears swept across my face. I knew the fact that hurt me even more then ever. My statement from earlier had really come true. Now...I was truly alone......
Reverse psychology is failing miserably
It's so hard to be left all alone Telling you is the only chance for me
There is nothing left but to turn and face you
I stood. My eyes hidden behind my bangs. My katana clutched in my hands. I looked up. Anger, Pain, and the word I don't like to say ...hate shown within my eyes. I stared into the eyes of the one to blame. The one who broke my mask...My mask....and my family.....
When I look into your eyes there's nothing there to see
Nothing but my own mistakes staring back at me
Asking why
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
The sacrifice is never knowing
"Sano, call for guards. I will need as many as I can get on the way to the hotel." Nodding the tall man ran. I did not care for him. The one I wanted to see lifeless was the man in front of me. My thoughts where blocked by hate as I ran forward. I would kill this man....He would die.....
Why I stayed with you
When you just push away
No matter what you see
You're still so blind to me
I missed a couple times. He was fast. But my fury could cut through the quickest defenese. The quickest and the strongest.....
Why I stayed with you
When you just push away
No matter what you see
You're still so blind to me
My sword entered his shoulder. His blood spilled across my face. My eyes widen in shock as one thought comes to mind. What have I done.......