Maybe
Disclaimer: I own nothing but my characters and my plot. J.K. Rowling owns everything else.
Chapter 4~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Jade, you love me?" he stuttered out quickly.
"Yes" she whispered to him, "please tell me, I want to know."
"If I tell you, you may never repeat it anyone or try to ask anymore questions about my life for now."
"I promise Severus."
"I was thinking about my mother and how I am responsible for her death. I know over Christmas break I told you she didn't come out often but in reality she has been dead since this past summer. My father called me down to the dungeons and mother was down there. She looked so fragile then; her hair wispy, the once happy woman was gone.
"Father told me he was going to prepare me for what was to come of my life and then he tortured her. I didn't step in at all. He asked me to help, I did and I feel a horror at myself. Her screams of pain reverberated off the inside of my skull. Then she was at death's door when father pulled the Cruciatus Curse off of her as I did and he killed her with killing curse."
"Oh Severus" she said, her voice shaking in its nerves.
"Can you still love me? I let my own mother die before my eyes and I helped! I am a monster not something to be loved!" he shouted the words out but Jade still held his hands close to her.
She took her hands from his and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Her face was twisted, trying not to cry on his shoulders. He flinched so deeply at her unexpected touch then touched his arms around her body. Her face was buried in his robe and she felt hot tears slipping down her face. He also felt and pulled her away from him by her elbows. She stared at him before he let go and he touched both her cheeks with his hands, the coldness touched her to the bone. His thumbs wiped away some of tear tracks and then stared into the deep amber that he adored. She moved back up onto the couch and brought her lips to his.
He and Jade slipped down and laid on the couch instead of sitting on it. Her hands were in his hair and his hands were still on her cheeks. They explored each other's mouths, a teenage passion in their movements. His hands moved down her body, stroking it. She moved her hand down to his shoulders and then down to his chest. She came up for air and her breathes were shallow and light. She liked the way Severus' body felt on top of hers.
She placed her head against his and closed her eyes. She wasn't going to move from that place without locking the memory into her mind. He traced over her collarbone, her giggles escaping her mouth. He then moved and she opened her eyes to stare at him. "Don't move, I like you right there."
"But it is almost curfew"
"Then I guess we must say goodbye."
"Yes my Jade, I will see you tomorrow."
"Alright" she said calmly before kissing his forehead.
She walked slowly to the Gryffindor common room; she didn't feel like she could still deal with them after her most romantic moment with Severus yet. Her mind kept replaying the hours that they had spent together in her mind not watching that she was subconsciously avoiding the tower. Her feet lead her right in front of the Headmasters office which she had only been inside once, right before Remus and she entered Hogwarts with her parents. As she stood in front of the state, the statue moved away to reveal Professor Dumbledore standing where the statue had been. She looked up, just realizing where she was and a deep red formed over her cheeks as the headmaster stood before her a twinkle in his eyes. "Oh hello Headmaster, um… you see… uh."
"You don't have to explain Miss DeVeau, I was expecting you anyways."
This confused Jade but she said nothing and slightly smiled at the Headmaster. "Why?"
"Does it not appear before your own eyes?" She stared at her headmaster and he smiled at the tall girl. "Come to my office Miss DeVeau and I shall explain."
Going up the rotating stairs behind Dumbledore Jade racked her mind for anything especially stupid she had done of recently. None came to mind during her entire Hogwarts career, for she was pretty much a background person who spent most of her free time writing or reading. She remembered nothing she had helped the marauders with or any other prankster. Then as she stepped through the office it hit her: Severus. Once she was seated she looked across to the Headmaster and asked him with her eyes to continue.
"You see Miss DeVeau; you have become the object of the Gryffindor's fear and hatred. They fear your ability to smartly question what you are told and the kindness you possess that allows you to see past what most people don't. They hate you for the fact you allow yourself to keep with what they call the enemy and you enjoy your moments with them."
"They shouldn't judge on house rivalries alone, they haven't a real clue as to how they can act!"
"Yes child that is true but many aren't as kind-heated as you are."
"I am willing to forgive and that is what makes me different from many people in this school, even Severus."
"I heed only one warning to you, don't become more in the eyes of the people then you wish. Now off to bed Miss DeVeau."
She rised in all her elegance that she could muster and walked out of Dumbledore's office more confused then when she had entered. Her head was lowered as she strode back to the common room, afraid to look in what was creeping in the shadows. The Fat Lady still tisked at her as she entered the tower but she ignored it glad to be away from the shadows which had for some odd reason after leaving Dumbledore's office had begun to scare her. Remus sat in front of the fireplace, alone lost in his thoughts and Jade went to accompany her cousin, tomorrow being the full moon and all his thoughts were probably on that subject.
"Hey Remus" she said taking a seat by her cousin on the couch.
"Hey yourself"
"Are you thinking about you-know-what?"
"Yes"
"Oh" she whispered not catching Remus' eyes.
Once as a child she had accidentally seen her cousin transform. The cage in which was in the basement of their house which was surrounded by various strengthening spells and locking spells kept him when they had been children and during the summer holidays. When she had been about seven years old, she went into the basement right before her cousin transformed, she had his screams and popping bones burned into her brain. She had sat on the basement stairs afraid for her cousin, wanting to help him, but knowing that he could hurt her. She watched in tears as he threw himself against the bars of the cage, tearing at his own flesh and his mouth bleeding from trying to bite the bars open. When he howled in pain and at the moon she shook, her tiny child's body unable to move. Only when her mother ran down the basement stairs and pulled her upstairs did she move. That moment was never spoken about in her house and it was unlikely Remus even remembered the moment.
"Where were you all today besides the library?"
"With Severus" with that said she hugged her cousin, the look of loss in his eyes. "I want to you to know I love you Remus and I always will no matter what you are. You are no monster to me."
"I must say you need a healthy does of fear of humans in you."
"I know" she whispered as she thought back to what Severus had told her earlier.
That night she fell asleep hugging her cousin and woke with the first light that peeked through the curtains. After she showered and dressed, she went back downstairs to wake her cousin. He was already gone. She felt sadness for her cousin and looked back only once as she left for breakfast and classes. She took her place next to Severus and leaned her head against his shoulder, unable to eat. Her heart and mind remembered everything that had been said to her last night, from Severus to the headmaster to her cousin. She wished now of those words had escaped from any of their lips. Her mind unable to comprehend what was being said to her only came back down to earth when Bellatrix jabbed her in the ribs, next to her, with one of her pointier nails. "Ow!" she cried jumping away from Bellatrix.
"Get back to earth, you perky ditz."
Jade shrunk away from Bellatrix, retreating as far as she possibly could into Severus. He sent a pointed look to her and she glared at him but said and did nothing else before returning back to Rodolphus. Her breathing returned to normal and she eased away from her boyfriend slightly, still keeping her head laid on his shoulder. Once breakfast was finished, she scurried quickly away to her classes quite afraid of being followed by Bellatrix. Though once in the classes she returned to her normal ways. She sat in the front of her charms class and took notes frequently trying to avoid being stared at from the house she belonged to.
Before she went into the potions classroom, she noticed the fact that most of the Gryffindors had a new look for her, one of pure disgust. Jade didn't care how much they hated her except for Remus, who thankfully never fixed her yup with that look. She took her place next to a Ravenclaw acquaintance in the back of the classroom. The girl, Jackie Moore a half-blood, smiled at her graciously before they began to listen to their Professor.
"Today class we shall be making the Draught of the Living Death. Now I don't need any of you in the hospital wing, so don't mess this up!" He shouted the last part and mot of the class jumped a tad bit.
Everything was going smoothly for Jade before she had to add the last ingredient. It was crushed bat-wings and they had to be added in the way of sprinkling them around the cauldron over a few minutes. No such luck for jade because when she began to sprinkle them she dropped them all in the cauldron, her face visibly paled as it began to bubble, brimming to the edge and she pulled Jackie under the table with her right before it exploded. The potion hit the ceiling and the walls, before the rest of it flooded onto the floor when the cauldron melted into nothing but loose metal. Under the desk, Jade could see Professor Zaroff becoming livid, him turning red, then maroon, and finally violet. His beady eyes struck Jade under the table and she silently and fearfully crawled out from the table. Everyone stared at her; she watched the ground afraid of her potions master.
"Miss DeVeau can you please explain to me how you can be so careless even after you have my best student tutoring you."
"Um…I am a horrible student at potions."
"Obviously" he stated with a look of pure distaste on his face. "You will have to clean this up after class before you can leave."
"Yes Sir" she whispered. It really didn't bother her that she had to stay after class to clean it up, it was the last class but the fact that she had to be around her Professor longer then she usually had too.
After class Jade began performing cleaning spells to remove the mess from the room and once they were gone she left in a bad mood. All she wanted was a shower and to be left alone for a while without everything weighing on her mind from the days before. As she entered her dormitory, it was empty. She stripped her clothes off in the bathroom and climbed into the shower. As she scrubbed herself she felt a bit better, her troubles calmed in the shower. Stepping out, she dried herself and dressed in a pair of muggle jeans and a dark blue sweater before putting back on a pair of robes. She worked on some of her homework, avoiding going to dinner because she really didn't feel up to seeing anyone.
Ten till eight Jade gathered her potions supplies and slowly walked to her tutoring session. As she walked down the corridors, a window she passed held the full moon in it and she thought back to her cousin, alone in that big empty house. Hurt and scared as he was just a boy himself troubled with such a burden before she continued on her way to Severus. Once she entered her turned around and looked at her with a look that stated the simple fact that she was late and she needed his help.
"I know I'm late Severus so don't give me that look."
"Fine, we are going to go over the Draught of Living Death because Professor Zaroff said that you exploded yours this afternoon."
"I did" she said blushing.
They worked diligently on the potion and once it was completed without a massacre she took notes from Severus. Her notes were what she was concerned with and passing potions. As they finished she watched Severus when she was supposed to be leaving. She was once again mesmerized by his talent and his grace around potions. He was busy cleaning up the mess she had made and waiting to begin his own potions. He turned only when he realized she was still there, silent and entranced by his movements. He gave her another of his looks that sent many running and it was supposed to be her cue to leave.
"I don't want to go back to the tower Severus. I want to be with you when you perform your own potion."
"No, now get
out."
"I don't want to go with Remus gone and all." She had then realized what she
had said and slapped a hand across her mouth.
"And where is your cousin, Jade?"
"I can't tell you Severus. I was sworn to secrecy."
She then turned and flew out of the room quicker then when she and Severus had been caught kissing by Professor Zaroff. His mouth twitched into a brief smile as she ran away. 'She does know where her cousin goes at every month and why' this entered his mind as he shut the door where she had just run from. 'However I can't do anything about it she would know and I would lose one of the people I care greatly for.'
Jade ran all the way to the tower and as she was going to say the password, the portrait hole flew open and out came three of the marauders, Remus missing. They stared at her for a moment before she nodded her head to them and climbed inside of it uncaring of what the morons were going to do tonight.
She climbed sighing into her bed. She just wanted to sleep, any thoughts of anything pushed out of her head. Her mind dropped off as she slept as if she had drunk a dreamless sleep potion. The next morning she woke hoping to have no thoughts during the day but knowing it was impossible. Her mind was blank as she took a seat by Severus who looked extremely mad about something but she did not feel the need to inquire him about it. Jade had learned in most intensives do not ask what is wrong with her temperamental boyfriend at that moment.
She looked across the hall to see her cousin looking sickly and pale. She felt a wrench at her heart because she couldn't take away his pain, it was permanent and there was nothing the young girl could do. He was surrounded by his friends, protectively around him and they wouldn't even let her near him. She sighed and she apparently had brought Severus back to earth, he looked at her, pondering. "Jade are you alright?"
"I guess so, dear" she whispered quietly before she left the Great Hall, going to her Herbology class early.
She walked through the rest of the day thinking only when she had to and when the next day came she was perky. Her moods switched off and on when it pleased her and when someone else's pain affected her. She found herself skipping to the library that afternoon and Madame Prince smiled at her as she went to find some American muggle writing. She forgot about her tutoring session with Severus and only when he came storming through eh library looking for her did she realize the time, 9:30. 'Shit' her mind screamed as Severus stood before her, a glare in his eyes directed at her. It sent shivers done her spine and she felt her body shudder as she met his eyes. "Severus I didn't mean to, I just lost track of time."
"You seem to have a habit of that then? You seem to always be within the nick of time except for mornings don't you?"
"Severus stop it, I am sorry for not showing" she said as he raised his voice at her and it scared her.
"I doubt it" he hissed at her and her eyes looked at the ground unable to look at him in his angry state.
"I really am. Can we reschedule for tomorrow?"
"Fine" he said in a low voice and stalked from the library.
Jade couldn't help herself she ran from the library to catch up to him and ask him to forgive her. She could understand why he was angry because if it had been his free time and he had been nice and was actually giving her tutoring sessions then she should be able to show up. However she didn't always make it on time but she had never skipped out before. She caught up to him and turned him around by his elbow. He stared down to her and he pulled his arm away from her. Making her step back and in her eyes they were pleading with his to stop being angry with her and a bit of defiance to see if he could stay permanently angry at her. "Oh dear Merlin, Jade stop it and come here."
She ran to him and felt safe again and happy that he wasn't angry with her anymore. Jade snuggled her head against his shoulder and smelled deeply into his robes. She pulled away and down to a dark and empty hallway. She then wrapped her arms around his neck bringing him down to her mouth. Severus brushed his lips against his and she brought him back. She deepened the kiss and she explored his now known mouth and he still tasted of spices.
Her back was pushed against the wall and she took her mouth away. He brushed kisses against her neckline and bit lightly at her collarbone. She moaned slightly before his lips came back to her mouth. To them the rest of the world did not exist. They had each other and in that moment it was fine for them. They only needed each other and their love for each other.