Attachment Part 2/?

"Captain?"

Trying again, louder "Captain Archer? Sir!"

"Huh, wha---" at that moment the Captain would have found himself sprawled on the sickbay floor if it weren't for Trip's quick reflexes.

"Whoa, Cap'n!" Trip was grinning as he helped his commanding officer back onto the stool he was previously dosing in "careful there… the Doc here doesn't need any new patients…"

The events of the last few hours dawned on Archer with a thud. A surge of pure adrenalin going through his weary body, Jon all but jumped to his feet with a quick intake of breath "T'pol! What…"

Getting up too fast isn't recommended at the best of health, and Jon, already worn out even if emotionally more than physically, stumbled, lightheaded.

At the sound of the commotion in his normally quiet sickbay, Phlox reached the pair just in time to take in the situation and admonish the Captain "Really, Captain", he pushed his commanding officer back into a sitting position "you should know better than---" not in the mood for a lecture, Archer allowed himself to be seated, though he wasted no time before asking "Doctor, how is—"

"Now, there's nothing to worry about, Captain. I would have told you earlier, since you insisted on waiting here for news of her condition, however you fell asleep and.."

"HOW IS T'POL??" an anxious Archer frowned angrily at the jovial face of the good Doctor. "Now, Captain", Phlox, not in the least offended "there's no need to become upset. It WAS touch and go for a while. Fortunately, I was able to treat the oxygen deprivation and reverse the effects of the radiation. The process should be completed in a few hours…"

Archer stopped listening at that point, his eyes closing as the ball rolling around in his stomach began to disappear, the feeling of relief so profound, he could feel his eyes burning. Having noticed Commander Tucker's strange look in his direction, Archer tried turning his head unobtrusively in the other direction to compose himself.

All the while, Phlox was chattering on undeterred.."… as I said, she was quite lucky to have only been exposed for a few minutes, and with that Vulcan physiology… it's remarkable how—"

Archer consciously forced his hands to unclench and took a deep breath, swiping both hands over his face in an attempt to clear his head.

"Doctor", he interrupted in his best 'Captain voice', which caused Phlox to quiet down immediately, "is she conscious? I need to speak with her as soon as possible".

Pause.

"Jon--"

"Captain--", both Tucker and Phlox spoke together.

"Don't you think you should let her get some rest first, y'know, and get some yourself while you're at it", Tucker suggested, looking his friend over again, noting the bloodshot eyes, five o'clock shadow and the completely exhausted look on his face.

Grinning at Commander Tucker, seemingly in complete agreement, Phlox added –"Yes Captain, the Sub Commander's body has been through an enormous amount of trauma today," he grew serious, "I would advise against waking her up unless absolutely imperative.." the look in his eyes conveying he did not find this to be the case, and he would not appreciate the disturbance to his patient's recovery.

Recognizing the look of displeasure on his friend's face, Tucker decided to prevent the upcoming argument, which would only end with Phlox invoking CMO privileges anyhow, he rationalized.

"—look, why don't you go on and take a shower Jon, and I'll stop by for a drink in say.. half an hour. Y'know, to relax..?"

Seeing his friend was not yet convinced, he pulled out all the stops: leaning over in an exaggerated whisper, he promised to: bring something special from his "secret stash", and put and hand on his friends shoulder, steering him out of sickbay…

"Let me know THE MINUTE she wakes up, Doctor" Jon walked out of sickbay, conceding temporary defeat, though not trying to conceal his displeasure at this turn of events.

'Of course, Captain" Phlox shot a smile in his direction and turned back to his young patient.

**

With a certain detachment, Jon noted he was shaking.

And not some delicate shivers either, mind you. Full blown convelsions were rocking his body, his breath coming out in short gasps as he fought to remain standing. With both hands braced against the tile walls of the shower, Jon let his forehead fall against wall in front of him, their cool temperature a contrast to the burning hot water pouring down his back.

*Why am I so cold* he thought, clenching his teeth to keep them from chattering.

The flshes… Flashes of T'pol falling to her knees… the split second of allowing himself to look into her eyes and seeing the terror she couldn't hide at being unable to draw a breath… flashing to Major Hayes hovering over her, breathing much needed oxygen into her unresponsive body…

Those hours of waiting in sickbay to hear about her condition were some of the worst in his life.

And then he couldn't take it any longer.

Jon collapsed to his knees, giving in to the fear he had to repress in order to save her.. to save himself. His gasping breaths were turning into heartbreaking, painful sobs, the ones where you feel your heart about to come out of your throat.

Letting the emotional turmoil, the terror of the last day leave his body in the form of cleansing tears, Jon lay for long minutes curled up on the shower floor. When his tears finally slowed, he remembered Commander Tucker's visit.

*God, he'd either laugh his head off if he sees me like this, or have me committed, and right now, I'm not sure it's such a bad idea…* ,he sighed, quickly toweling himself dry.. *what on earth brought this on?* , John thought. *This isn't by far the most dangerous situation I've ever been in… why am I reacting this way??* he pondered as he was pulling on a clean set of uniform.

*You know why*, the voice was back... *it wasn't about being afraid for your life… you were terrified of losing her!!*

*No, I wasn't!!*, was the immediate reply.

He thought back. *well, I was.. I mean, she is a valuable member of my crew… *

*of course, that's why you were crying like a baby just now, you were merely concerned for the well being of your crew..how very.. dedicated of you, Captain!!*

….

………

*Wait a minute…baby??*

BABY!!

*The baby! damn!!* John slapped himself on the forehead in frustration, * I can't believe I forgot all about it… I wonder if it's even alive..*

A second later, his guilt was gone, as something dawned on him. "yeah THAT BABY he said out loud in disgust. "T'pol risked her life to save it…".

Jon started pacing up and down his quatrters, flapping his hands in the air as he was talking to himself out loud.

"How STUPID was that!!! Putting herself at risk like this…'" his voice rising a couple more decibels with each word. "and completely disregarding my orders". The enormous fear turned into an equally strong fury, as a sudden feeling of betratyal washed over him– "how could she do this to me, knowing…"

* knowing what??? You've never told her how you feet about her…*

"Damn!!" with a sudden burst of anger Archer turned and shoved his right fist into the bulkhead. Hard.

Standing outside his door, Tucker was about to ring the chime when he heard the noise. Before he could investigate, the door swooshed open, and he nearly collided face first into a furious Archer…

"Hey Cap'n, you going somewhere? I thought we—"

"Cap'n?"

Trip could only stare after him in shock, as Jon ignored him, entered the lift and barked 'sickbay'..

TBC

Next part – The Confrontation ')