*She's awake*, it took Archer a couple of seconds to register.
Her wide opened, seemingly shocked, eyes staring into his, not saying anything.
*Idiot*, he berated himself, *you just had to go and touch her, knowing how sensitive Vulcans are about being touched*.
*You'd be lucky if she doesn't file charges*, the voice continued, *or worse – beat the crap outta you…*
Composing himself, he decided to act as if nothing had happened.
"Morning, T'pol", *more like sleeping beauty*, he thought, then quickly shut the voice up.
"How are you feeling?", he added, inserting a note of forced cheerfulness into his voice.
"I am fine, Captain. Thank you for your concern", she said coldly, her voice scratchy and dry from sleep, attempting to cover up her turmoil at being exposed to his feelings.
His smile visiby fell at this.
*Captain… always Captain, Sir..*
*Well, what do you expect? That IS what you are to her. What would you have her call you? Sweetie?*
*No. no. Just Jonathon will do. I'd give anything to hear my name on her lips..* Jon felt his eyes drawn to said part of her anatomy.
Forcing himself back to the issue at hand, he noticed T'pol trying to pull herself to a sitting position for this conversation, and not doing very well, a testament to her weakened state.
Normally, Jon wouldn't hesitate giving her a hand, but after what had happened before…
He was trying to see if he could get her anything to drink, when T'pol interrupted "Captain, how is the child"? she inquired.
?
??
Archer could feel his blood boiling, certain that were it possible, by now steam would be coming out of his ears, like in those mid 20th century cartoons.
*How's the… Hows the BABY??!!*
*Barely able to sit up, her first question is about the baby, the whole reason she got in this condition in the first place?!*
Whatever feelings for her that were controlling and restraining his anger at her actions just moments ago, were cast aside, giving reign to his anger. Jon started pacing the small space at the side of the bed, trying to keep from exploding at her.
And failing.
**
Had she not been a Vulcan, T'pol would have flinched back at his unexpected outburst.
"Well, since it's so important to you I'm sure you'll be glad to hear he's just fine," Jon said coldly, anger seeping into his speech, as he turned back to face T'pol.
"Though, I would have expected you to first inquired after the wellbeing of the team", he took a breath and continued,"seeing as you're the one who put us at risk with your irresopnsible actions!!", his voiced climbing at the end, the words coming out of his mouth as if he had no control over them.
At seeing her eyebrow lifted in question, Jon let go completely.
"I just want to know WHAT THE HELL YOU WERE THINKING!!!"
T'pol was completely taken aback. Knowing his caring nature, she had expected his understanding , if not outright condoning her actions. But she certainly did not consider this response.
Catching his breath for a few moments, as if waiting for a reaction, T'pol tried to speak
"I--"
"I'm not done yet!!", Archer cut her off, starting to pace again, "A first year cadet wouldn't make such an error in judgement!!"
Catching a movement in his peripherical vision, Archer turned to find Phlox pushing aside the privacy curtain.
"Not now, Doctor", he lowered his voice to a civilized yet dismissive tone, and returned to his pacing, assuming compliance.
"Captain", Jon turned back in his direction in irritation.
The Doctor hastened to add, "I must inform you that your, ahmm, discussion can be heard clearly throughout sickbay---"
"Thank you for your concern, Doctor. Now leave, … that's an order", Jon added almost as an afterthought.
Shooting a nervous look in T'pol's direction, the Doctor regretfully left, closing the curtain behind him.
"As I was saying", Jon stopped pacing to look directly at her, "I would have expected such impulsiveness from Trip, or this emotional and irrational response from Hoshi, but not you T'pol. I couldn't believe it".
At this, T'pol visibly flinched – the only outward sign of response the entire conversation.
Under different circumstances, Jon would have noticed its significance and shut up, but he was to far gone, completely out of control.
"I would like to consider this an abberation", he continued, "you were overcome by your emotions, and this would never happen again. But the damage is done".
He shook his head in resignation, recounting her offences: "Not following orders, risking the team, lying to me –"
Letting this sink.. "Now, I do realize this was a mistake, one you'd never repeat, yet I'm not sure how I could ever trust my 1st officer again…"
Having chosen not to dwell on his devastating statement at that moment, as it would definitely require a great deal of meditation to come to terms with, T'pol saw it fit instead to alert him as to his misconceptions.
"Excuse me, Sir, but if faced with the same decision, I would have done it again", she stated clearly and unemotionally.
*Meaning this is not an abberation,* Archer caught on to her meaning.
"I can't fucking believe it!", he exploded, "don't they have a command structure on Vulcan? Don't you know how to follow protocol?" he asked sarcastically.
Seeing she was about to respond, Archer quickly lifted his hand for her to remain silent, and started in a quiet, distant voice, as if talking to himself.
"You know the worst thing, T'pol?"
T'pol blinked at the sudden change in him, but said nothing, sensing this was not his intention.
"The worst thing is that the only words I wanted to hear from you would have simply been 'I'm sorry I nearly caused you a heart attack, Captain'. Just: 'I'm, sorry' and a promise never to do that again", He stressed, "That's it".
"Don't you know by now there's nothing I wouldn't forgive you, T'pol?", he asked, and added silently,*Amazingly enough, that seems to include breaking my trust and walking all over my heart on a daily basis*.. he swallowed convulsively as he admitted this to himself for the first time.
"Jonathon…", T'pol tried, unsure how to respond to his revelation. She was completely baffled at his statement, yet unwilling to go back on her declaration.
"Oh, no…", Archer shook his head in the negative, "that's Captain or Sir to you, SubCommander. And I haven't given you permission to speak".
T'pol fell silent obediently, though her eyes spoke volumes.
Angry at his weakness… her… Archer set about disguising his emotins again by keeping this a professional criticism, when Phlox burst in, looking more angry and determined than he'd ever seen him
"That's it, Captain", he stated, "I will not have you coming into my sickbay and harassing my patient, who, need I remind you , was only hours ago in critical condition!".
Not noticing the Captain looking at him in shock, he forged on. "I'll only ask you to leave once before I make it an order. And I will", he warned.
Having vented most of his anger, and starting to feel guilty at his treatment of Phlox earlier…*The whole sickbay must have heard me by now… what a way to set an example for the crew…*
"Fine Phlox", he conceded, "I'm leaving..".
Phlox looked unconvinced, which caused Archer to bark –" Get out Doctor, I'll be there in a moment!".
A hurt Phlox nodded and left…
Finally looking directly at T'pol , it seemed to him she was barely keeping herself up.
All the wind was knocked out of him, leaving him only with the pain of broken trust and unrequited feelings.
He suddenly felt exhausted, unable to look at her any longer, and turned to leave.
"I'll be informing you of the disciplinary measures I decide to take", sigh. "In the mean time, consider yourself relieved of duty until further notice".
With that, Jon left sickbay in a few quick strides, failing to notice T'pol's arms giving out from under her, as she sank to the bed, her breath coming out in short gasps, as the enormity of the last moments' revelations and the captain's words was allowed to set in.
No longer able to push those thoughts aside, she was overwhelmed.
Before losing consciousness, T'pol was aware of Phlox rushing towards her with what appeared to be a hypospray in his hand..
Next – The Baby (finally…)
J