Ch14
"I think I'm going to be sick."
Teresa jumped up from her hospital bed and ran into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.
Fox closed his eyes.
Ever since Teresa had started her chemo a week ago, she hadn't been doing to well. She was constantly getting sick. Her skin had taken an almost yellow color to it, and she had huge dark circles under her eyes. Her once long, curly, beautiful hair was falling out in clumps, in the shower, on the bed. She now had it wrapped in a bandana Fox bought for her.
He could hear her vomit from the other side of the door.
Every time he heard her get sick, heard her cough, saw her wince in pain, it was like a little piece of his heart was breaking off. It pained him so much to see her suffer.
And they had delayed the wedding.
At first Teresa insisted they keep the wedding day as planned…but as the week went on it was obvious to everyone that she was far to weak to go through with it. She was torn about delaying it, but knew it was for the best.
A few minutes passed, and Teresa still hadn't returned.
Fox got up and walked to the door. He gently knocked.
"Teresa, are you alright?"
Just then she opened the door.
She was drenched in sweat. Her skin was pale and clammy.
"Fox help me back to my bed."
He grabbed her hand, and led her to the bed.
"Here, let me help you." He said as he helped her scoot onto it.
When all this had started, she had been pretty vocal about how she wanted to do things herself, without everyone's help. Now, she was just too weak to say no.
He got her situated on the bed, and covered her up, noticing she was chilled.
"Can I get you anything else?" he asked.
"No I'm ok," she whispered.
He walked into the bathroom and grabbed a wet towel. He came back out and pressed it to her head, trying to cool her down.
"Thank you Fox."
"For what?"
"For being here. For not leaving…for everything really…I don't think I could make it through this if you weren't here beside me to hold my hand."
"Well," he said. "That's one thing you will never have to worry about Resa., because I will always be here to hold your hand, whenever you need me too."
She smiled.
"Ditto."
He laughed,
"Ditto eh? Oh please Teresa, don't tell me you're quoting Ghost now are you?"
"Ahh dang it you figured it out."
This was a game they had started playing. It always made Teresa happy to quote one of her favorite movies, and then have Fox try to guess what it was.
"You know Fox, you're pretty good at this game…I think tomorrow I'm going to have to think of a really tough one."
"Resa, how many times do I have to tell you? I cant be beat...I am the master at movie quotes."
"Hmm well we'll see."
Just then there was a knock at the door. It was Ethan and Gwen.
"Hey you guys!" Gwen said as she walked into the room. "Can we come in?"
"Of course you can" Fox said.
Ethan walked over, and kissed Teresa on the cheek.
"How are you feeling?"
"Like shit and you?"
He laughed.
"I'm doing alright."
Gwen walked over.
"Teresa, I need to talk to you about little Ethan."
Teresa's face became serious.
"Why is he ok? What's wrong?"
"Oh no, he's fine…don't worry…he just wanted me to bring you something." She replied. She turned to Ethan and Fox. "Can you boys give us a minute?"
"Sure" they both said. Fox leaned down and kissed Teresa's forehead.
"I'll be right outside if you need me ok?"
She smiled.
"Ok."
Fox and Ethan walked to the main lobby of the hospital. Ethan could see how exhausted Fox really was as he collapsed into one of the chairs.
"Fox, you look terrible."
"I'm fine Ethan." He snapped.
Ethan didn't say anything.
"Look I'm sorry man…I didn't mean to yell at you."
"Fox its ok."
"No it isn't" he sighed. "This is all really starting to get to me Ethan. I don't know how much longer I can deal with all this…I'm failing her."
"Ethan was shocked.
"Failing her? How can you say that?"
"Well listen to me Ethan! I'm out here telling you my sob story about how I am so sick and tired off all this shit…and Teresa is in there fighting for her life! She doesn't need someone like me, someone so selfish."
"Fox don't do it." Ethan said.
"Don't do what?"
"Don't drive yourself crazy with all these thoughts about how you're not good enough…don't start thinking that its time to bail, because things are getting rough. Don't do what the old Fox would do."
"And what's that Ethan? What would the old fox have done in this situation?"
Ethan stared at him.
"run."
Fox winced. He knew Ethan was right. If this had been a few years ago, he would have bailed. But that was before he had met Teresa, before he felt real love…before he learned the meaning of the words compassion and trust.
"Fox I'm not saying this to hurt you, or make you mad. I'm just trying to make you see that you have really grown up…and all this talk about not being her for Teresa is ridiculous…if you weren't here Fox, I don't think she would be either."
Ethan put his hand on Fox's shoulder. Fox smiled.
"Thanks Ethan…you know, you're really not that bad of a brother."
He laughed.
"Well coming from you Fox, that's the best compliment I've ever heard."
Just then, they were interrupted by a loud alarm going off.
Fox's face fell.
~Oh god no…~
He got up and ran down the hall towards Teresa's room, Ethan close behind. The hall seemed never-ending. When he turned the corner, he saw Gwen standing out in the hall, her hand covering her mouth, choking back the sobs that were trying to escape.
"Gwen what happened? What's wrong?"
"I don't know" she sobbed. "We were talking, and I was showing her pictures that little Ethan had drawn for her, and she suddenly got really quiet. I asked if she was ok, and she started gasping like she couldn't breath…before I could run and get a doctor all the machines started going off…I don't know what happened…" she trailed off.
Ethan went over and wrapped his arms around her.
"Shh its ok" he said.
"I have to see what's wrong," Fox said, running into the room.
Doctors and nurses were running around frantically. They were screaming a lot of jargon that Fox couldn't understand.
"What's wrong with her?" he tried to yell out over ht commotion.
No one answered.
"WHATS WRONG WITH HER?" he yelled again, getting the attention of everyone in the room.
Eve ran over to him
"Fox, you need to wait outside."
"But-"
"No buts, come on…the doctors need room to work."
She pushed him out the door back into the hallway.
"When I know something, I will come and find you alright?" she ran back in.
Fox was motionless.
~Please god, don't take her from me~
He ran his hands through his hair and closed his eyes.
"Hold one Teresa," he whispered as a single tear ran down his cheek.
"Hold on"