Beyond Essence: Part One, Chapter Three
Riku
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"Sora…" I twisted uncomfortably underneath the heavy weight of the feather blanket, tossing and turning to an inevitable degree during my endless dreams. Damp hair clung to my perspiring forehead. Prickling heat stuck to my skin. "Sora." My breath came in short, uneven gasps, and every desperate inhalation I sucked in tore across my lungs like a jagged dagger, burning and stinging and saturating my chest with a cold, searing sort of pain. I was hot, yet cold, warm, yet cool. My head ached and pressure pounded mercilessly from behind my closed eyelids. It filled my sinuses with a feverish torture that I never knew, and I thrashed wildly as I saw the smiling face of the angelic boy from the dark depths of my nightmare, arms and legs flailing, hitting rather roughly anything that they came into contact with. "Sora…Sora…" Again with these dreams. Why wouldn't they go away? Why? All the time…every night…
Why, Sora, do you torture me so?
I felt the sticky strands of silver hair whip my cheeks as my head snapped back and forth violently, breaking the skin like leather and scrubbing the skin raw. "Sora… God, Sora, please…" Please. My hands trembled and my heart sank. "Sora." My throat felt dry…constricted…like loads of cotton had been shoved and stuffed into my mouth, packed to the limit, sucking up all of my saliva and capturing the moisture. I hurt. I hurt. Pain. My wrist slammed into a soft hardness and I heard a grunt in my ear, so I slammed again and again, harder each time, straining to see my best friend as his glow began to fade and his grin began to flicker. No… "Sora!" I cried, desperate…wailing… He couldn't leave me, not again. No, Sora, no no no. Come back. "Sora, please!" My voice rang in the emptiness that followed as I bit back a cry of frustration, head beginning to spin as I watched the whirling colors of blues and blacks suffocate his expression. "Sora!" I writhed in agony, squirming against a new force that had gripped onto my shoulders and was currently struggling to hold me in my place. "Sora!" Fuck, don't leave me! Not again! FUCK! I clawed at the fabric underneath my sweaty palms and roared angrily, throwing my head back in defeat and kicking violently at the thing that was moving on top of my chest. "Sora!" My voice was hoarse and ragged from all of the howling. "Sora, stop it! Sora!!" I choked on my own voice and began to cough horribly, sharp, scratchy noises coming from deep within my throat while I struggled to break loose of my restrictions. No…no… Come back…please…
Hacking noisily, I did not hear the deep, resonating voice that tried to pull me from my dreams.
It's funny how you can be asleep and dreaming, but still be able to realize what's going on in reality as well…
An arm wrapped around my shuddering shoulders and pulled me up into a sitting position rather awkwardly as I coughed louder and louder, thick, slimy-textured mucous beginning to accumulate on the back of my tongue as well. My forehead throbbed and the pain only got worse the harder I racked my sore throat. I felt so ill… God… My entire body bathed in the white-hot affliction. I heard a familiar voice talking to me in the distance, and strangely enough, all current visions began to disappear as I awoke to the soothing…resting back against the soft pillows and trying to calm my symptoms.
I felt so cruddy.
"Shh, child, it was only a dream."
Yes…a dream… I tried to open my eyes to the dark, silky baritone echo, but they felt painfully numb and oddly heavy. It seemed like they were filled and being weighed down… Quite annoying.
"You're awake now. It's okay."
I still coughed, only not as badly, but between breaths I attempted to open my mouth and say something, my voice coming out soft and muted, scratched and corroded. "My head hurts."
"Shh," he whispered gently as he pulled me into his bare, rock-hard chest and cradled the back of my head in his hand, the fingers of the other one slowly gliding up underneath my hair and caressing my neck.
His touch felt so nice, even in my about delirious state. So enticing…
"You've a fever, angel. These dreams are causing your temperature to flare."
I let my slick forehead fall into his tanned skin. I was so unbearably hot. I hadn't had a fever in…I can't even remember… I must've been really young, though, for it seemed as if it were an eternity.
And I'd felt perfectly fine all through the day…
"Come, darling," Ansem said to me tenderly, easily lifting me up from my lethargic position and slumping half of my upper body over his rippling shoulder blade. The muscles radiated from underneath his skin. "Perhaps a bath will do."
"A bath?" I murmured in question as I laced my fingers in his silky silver hair. "…What…?"
He rubbed my back reassuringly. "A bath, to cool you down with."
"I don't want…a bath…Ansem."
"Nonsense," he chided in a comforting voice. "So feisty all of the time. Even when you're half asleep and suffering from a fever you'll put up a fight."
I sighed into his neck and breathed in his scent, subtly intoxicating, but transmitting that seducing, undeniable scent of a real man. My lips met his warm flesh in a clumsy manner as we made our way over to the grand bathroom, which sparkled and glittered with rare crystals and pearly stone even in the darkest part of the night.
Well, like I mentioned a while ago, there was no day in Kingdom Hearts…
But he did have electricity in this place, strangely enough, and the lights weren't on at the moment, so I guess I could say something along those lines, right?
Right.
Ansem's fingers twined themselves around my drenched locks of gray, which had become darker after getting wet, and I fought to keep my eyes open when he entered the bathroom and turned on the light switch, afterwards kneeling down next to the large, circular tub and switching on the faucet.
Water began to pour out heavily, streaming down and out of the platinum spout like a rushing waterfall. Kind of like the one back home on my islands, where I used to dunk Sora underneath for fun.
Sora…
"Why do you still think about that boy?"
Huh? I glanced with my peripheral vision at Ansem's distracted face, noting to myself that I must have spoken his name out loud. "I…I…I don't," I lied quietly as I watched the water continue to climb downwards speedily and slide down the shimmering shower walls with a strange sort of elegance.
Ansem set me down on the cool marble floor and felt my forehead. "You dream about him often, though. This isn't the first time."
Well, if he knew that then he knew that. There was no sense in denying the inevitable. I nodded slowly, hands still clutching at Ansem's powerful arms.
"You love him?"
"What?" I asked, a bit startled by the blunt question. I couldn't fully comprehend what was going through my head at the moment, nor what was going on in general because of my rising fever and the hellish symptoms, but I did hear that.
"Do you love that boy, Sora?"
My fingers tightened as they slid down to his wrists. "…I… No. …Love you…"
His distracted expression lingered and remained on his face for a moment, and then, for a brief second, something else flickered through his fire-orange eyes, an emotion that I wasn't able to comprehend. He smirked slightly afterwards, though, and leaned in to press his lips against my burning forehead, where his gentle kiss left its imprint. "Of course you do, little angel. Now let's get you into this bath before you heat up any more."
Ansem pried my fingers off of his hands and he brought his face back to where I could see it. Tenderly, he reached over to my waist and pulled the elastic of my boxer shorts down across my groin and past my hips, sliding them lower and lower until the waistband glided past my knees and finally my ankles. Being that those were the only article of clothing I'd been sleeping in, I was now nude and ready to get into the tub.
"I'm so tired, Ansem."
"I know you are. Just try to stay awake for a little while, though, and then we can take you back to bed."
"Hnn," I grunted. "Alright."
He slumped me against his shoulder again, identical to the last time, and stood up with me resting against his arm.
I was so tired… All I wanted to do was sleep. My body still throbbed and my head still pounded, but with Ansem handling me so nicely it wasn't so hard to ignore. It did hurt, though, I couldn't deny that. I just had to try not to acknowledge the fact, and perhaps it wouldn't be so bad.
My father had taught me that…to forget about my pain…
Showing it would be a sign of weakness.
But I was weak, in a way, so did it really matter if I held it in. Well…
I guess some things you just never grow out of.
Or at least not yet.
Ansem leaned over and sat me down in the refreshingly cool water, propping my back up against the cushiony pillow of leather bound fluff that lined the back wall of the deliciously cold porcelain. It felt so wonderful against my hot flesh, so nice and so amazingly relieving. Ahh…
I was having an extremely hard time staying awake.
He cupped some water in both hands and brought it up to the top of my head, separating his palms slowly so that the cool liquid poured from his hands and fell against my sweaty hair. He continued to do this until every strand was wet, speaking to me softly the entire time. "I'm going to wash your hair first."
Nodding, I watched tiredly as his hands reached for the slippery bottles of shampoo and conditioner on the shelf to my right, afterwards putting the conditioner down and opening the cap to the shampoo. He squeezed a good amount into the palm of his free hand, put the large bottle down, and rubbed his hands together to make a soapy lather out of the clear jelly substance that he held.
With both of us having the kind of hair that we do, we went through a lot of bottles of hair care…
"Just relax," he whispered as he brought his fingers down to meet my scalp and rubbed the bubbles against it, his massaging way of doing it causing my eyes to almost slide shut completely. It felt so good. So, so good.
I really couldn't stay awake like this.
"That feels nice," I told him as he continued to make circles against my head using his smooth fingers.
He laughed lightly. "It does, doesn't it?"
"You're good at it."
"Thanks."
"Mhmm."
He caressed my scalp for a while longer before moving his hands underneath the running water from the faucet and rinsing them off, bringing back a pile of water which he used to shower the soap off of me with. He asked, "Feeling a little better yet?"
I was. I was definitely cooling off a little, and the pain in my head wasn't quite as bad. "Yeah."
"Good." He reached for the tube of conditioner and popped off the cap before dropping a lump of the creamy white into his hands.
I waited for the feel of them against my scalp again. I wanted that niceness one more time…
"Ansem?" I asked quietly, sighing lightly at the end of his name when his fingers came in contact with my head.
"Yes, darling?"
I smiled despite myself, ignoring the illness that continued to surround my senses, but focusing on his loving voice instead. Even that was beautiful. He was just so…graceful… Something about him was so perfect that it made me want to stay right there forever.
Even without Sora.
Even…even if I could never see him or Kairi again.
Why did I need them, anyway, when I had Ansem around?
He was all I could ever want. He was everything that any man or woman could dream of. He was just Ansem, and that was flawless. Powerful. Powerful in a beautiful way, though. Powerful in a way that made you feel like you never wanted to be without him.
Powerful over me.
But I didn't care.
I sighed. "I…ah…never mind. I forget what I was going to say, anyway."
Looking up, I saw him smile. "Really?" He asked in a playful tone as his hands ran along the drenched strands of my hair.
"Yeah."
"Alright."
When he finished with the conditioner he wet my hair once more and rinsed the soap out, pouring water over my head until no more residue was left. Then he turned off the faucet and washed my back and shoulders, afterwards sloshing water against my skin to drive all of the fresh-scented soap away.
Finally he flipped the switch for the drain, and I watched distractedly as the water began to swirl in a whirlwind as it filed down the drain and the tub began to empty.
Ansem reached over to the glass rack mounted to the shimmering wall and pulled off a fluffy, extra-large white towel. I held onto the edge of the tub and got to my knees a little unsteadily, but soon his arm was around my waist and he lifted me to my feet carefully, wrapping me in the warm towel next and pulling me close to his own heated body, where he supported my slightly trembling frame against his smooth torso and kissed the top of my head. "We can go back to bed now," he murmured into my scalp as I held onto him loosely, burying my face into him. "Come on, I'll carry you back if you don't feel like you can walk."
I moaned lightly and he picked me up in his arms, wrapping the towel more securely around my now refreshed body and flicking off the light switch on our way out.
Even though I did feel a lot better, that didn't mean that I actually felt better. Well, you know what I mean. I still had a fever.
My body still hurt, refreshed or not. Just not as badly.
He carried me across the plushy, white -with-black-stripes carpet and took the soft towel off of my waist, throwing it behind him somewhere and laying me down against the silky black satin of his expensive sheets. The bed wasn't warm anymore, but instead cool and satisfying against my bare skin as I closed my eyes and initiated to get back to sleep.
Ansem's full lips brushed against mine lightly as he leaned in over my face, and with my eyes remaining closed I kissed him back gently, wanting to but ultimately too tired to indulge myself in a powerful tongue-lock with the man. I felt him smile as he pulled away, whispering to me, "Goodnight, angel," and walking around to the other side of the bed and dropping into its softness.
"'Night," I whispered, and with the pain of my fever still there (but subsiding a good amount), I relaxed and leaned my head against Ansem's smooth shoulder.
( * )
Ansem
He was so beautiful when he slept. I watched as the movement behind his closed eyelids ceased to continue and he rested his face against my shoulder, knowing that any moment now he would fall back to sleep.
I stared at the ceiling above me.
Such a dark child; so hurt and confused. But angelic, nonetheless. Heavenly little creature…
Quietly, as not to disturb him, I reached up to stroke the boy's pretty silver mane. His lips twitched slightly and rose up in the corners, producing a small smile as he continued to drift slowly into his slumber.
Beautiful… Good and evil at the same time.
Dark angel.
My dark little angel. Amazing how innocent and how guilty one person could be all at once.
( * )
Author's Notes: Hmm, hmm hmm. Well…weird…I guess. Weird chapter. But I added Ansem's point of view. ^_^ And I have to get more lengthy with these chapters. I'm just so lazy. All I want to do is get these chapters posted. And it takes me so long, doesn't it?
Lol. Anyway, I know this chapter was quite different from the other 3. It just had a different aura to it, huh? Strange, but I find myself liking it better. I should've probably added one more scene to this, but the only thing is I'm not going to have to go somewhere in a few minutes, and what happens is when I leave a chapter hanging on some part and then I go back to it, I get totally lost and I just lose my spark to write for the time being. I always have to write the chapter all at once or not at all. It's a weird kind of thing. So instead of making you guys wait for another 2 weeks or whatever, I figure that I should just give this one to you now and write Chapter 5 in the near future.
I hope you're not disappointed. Time seems to be flying by really quickly though. I don't notice that it's been 3 and a half weeks since I last updated. I'll really try not to take so long, but school just insists on keeping me very busy. Grr… That's life, though, right? Anyway, I got this chapter out faster than usual, though. Or at least a little faster.
Alright, so I'll try to have Chapter 5 posted not too long of a time from now. I think I'll introduce Sora's point of view in it, too, only I'm a little afraid I won't be able to pull it off as well as Riku's. And now I'm finding it hard not to like Ansem. Yeah, he's evil, but so wonderfully wonderful.
I'm really rambling now, so I guess I'll go. Thanks reviewers, for everything. You're really the reasons that keep me going with this fic, so I really appreciate all of the nice comments that you give me. :) Love you guys, and I'll see you again in Chapter 5.
-Vix-