Disclaimer: Not mine, no money made.

Note: This story is slash. You have been warned. Takes place early in the first season. **************************************************************************** ****************

"Hey! Why aren't you up yet? Come on, man. Place to ourselves, nothing to do all day but get into trouble. Okay, no, well, probably not. More like a little PlayStation, swimming and hanging out by the pool, but you know, if we REALLY wanted to we could even move very quickly through the house holding sharp, pointed objects like scissors. Come on, Ryan, get up already. Time to wreak havoc cause there's no parental units in sight."

Seth's excited speech crammed in more words per minute than Ryan could process, but then that wasn't really all that unusual. It wasn't that Ryan thought slowly, at least not usually, it was just that Seth had an amazing (and maybe admirable) ability to deliver all his thoughts rapid fire, and probably without a whole lot of censoring. Ryan suspected this was a large part of the reason why Seth was something of a Newport social outcast, at least with his peers anyway.

On the other hand, Ryan had to admit it was refreshing to listen to someone who spoke his mind, just let his cards fall where they may. He wished he could be that free with the way he spoke, after all it wasn't like he had to worry about getting slapped in the mouth for saying the wrong thing anymore. Still, he was always careful about what he said, both out of habit and by a conscious effort. The last thing he wanted to do was open his mouth and say the wrong thing and have the Cohens regretting their decision to have him stay. He wondered how many times he'd have to hear Seth or Sandy or even Kirsten tell him he wasn't going to be kicked out or left behind before he'd actually start to believe it. Probably many more. In the mean time he'd watch what he said as best he could. While he kept screwing up with his actions, maybe he could at least say the right thing, or just manage to not say the wrong thing.

Today however, he just wanted to say nothing. It wasn't that he didn't want to hang with Seth. Actually, he'd been looking forward to having the place to themselves ever since Sandy had mentioned the trip he and Kirsten would be taking for a couple days. It wasn't that he didn't want them around, heck he was just a glorified party crasher in their house, in their lives, but Ryan had really been looking forward to a whole day of hanging out with Seth. A day without worrying about offending his new "guardians", or making a mistake with the girl next door, or trying to avoid fights with jealous water polo playing boyfriends, or going to some fancy social event where he felt like it was just a matter of time before he'd say something wrong, or do something wrong and everybody would be reminded, yet again, that he didn't belong, that he was probably just some poor interloper charity case of a caring public defender.

So, yeah, he had been looking forward to a whole day of hanging out, no pressure, just having fun. That was until he had awoken at 5:30 that morning with a stuffed up nose, sick stomach and a head crammed full of cotton balls. To top it all off, he also had a nasty sore throat, hence his not wanting to talk or even get out of bed though it was already 11 o'clock.

"Yeab, be ub in a minid," Ryan said painfully, his throat feeling like it was caving in on itself while on fire.

"Whoa, dude. When did you get sick?" asked Seth, coming in from the doorway and over to the bed in the middle of the pool house. Seth never could figure how Ryan slept in there with it so bright. The room was like four walls of glass interrupted by the occasional wooden support. Okay, there wasn't THAT much glass but the windows were floor length and there weren't any curtains. It was nearly as light in there as outside in the bright California sunshine.

Ryan usually got up around the same time as Seth and wandered into the main house where they grabbed some breakfast, in front of the t.v. more often than not, especially if his mom wasn't around. So today Seth had grabbed some cereal, milk, a couple bowls and spoons and headed for the t.v. and PlayStation. He'd decided to get in some "warm up" time since Ryan hadn't come in yet. An hour and a half later Ryan still hadn't shown up and Seth had decided to just go wake him up.

But when he heard the stuffed up, barely recognizable speech rasping out from beneath the blankets he'd realized what the problem was right away. He felt a small twinge of guilt that he was relieved that Ryan was sick and not just avoiding him. While he didn't want Ryan to be feeling ill, Seth knew it was just a matter of time before Ryan would realize that he'd befriended a loser. As much as Seth loved spending time with Ryan, he always felt a little anxious because he knew someday, and probably soon if past experiences were any indication, he'd lose his new friend to so-called cooler, more popular people. He tried not to dwell on it, but when Ryan eventually ditched him, as Seth truly believed he would, he knew it would hurt more than losing anyone ever before.

Ryan wasn't just some passing pal who just happened to not notice he was Newport's social outcast. He was so much more to Seth. He could swear Ryan really liked him and wanted to hang with him. He'd certainly proved his loyalty, coming to Seth's rescue on the beach that night, but Seth just knew it wouldn't last forever. Nobody could care enough to stay his friend, especially when there were so many alternatives, more popular alternatives. But for today he knew Ryan hadn't decided to ditch him, not just yet, and for this he was secretly very, very grateful.

"I'm nob sick. I'm ogay," Ryan protested. The coughing fit that followed the statement pretty much proved it was a lie.

'Whoa,' thought Seth. 'That congested voice damn near made it sound like he said he was gay. Or maybe I'm just hearing it that way. Cause, yeah, jeez, it's not like you desperately want him to be or anything. Oh, no, that can't be it at all. Not you, you want Summer, a girl who can't even remember your name. Oh God, I even THINK with sarcasm.'

Dropping the thought, knowing that it was just some kind of messed up wishful thinking, Seth said, "Um, yeah, right. That's not exactly a smoker's cough now is it?"

Ryan finally emerged from the pile of blankets. Or rather, more accurately, he popped his head out of the top like some demented ground hog. If he hadn't looked so pathetically adorable Seth would have busted up laughing. Ryan's hair was standing on end and pointing in just about every direction but down like it normally did. His eyes were bloodshot red and while Ryan wasn't exactly tanned, his skin had taken on a decidedly unhealthy color. Seth didn't want to say it was green exactly but in the bright sunlight of the room Ryan certainly wasn't looking like the picture of a healthy California teen.

While the spiky mess that used to be hair was very amusing, it was the ridiculously sad puppy expression in the bloodshot eyes that kept Seth from laughing out loud. He wondered if Ryan knew the effect that expression had on people. He suspected not since he'd yet to find a instance of Ryan looking like that on purpose. It was probably something he couldn't help anymore than Seth could stop his nervous rambling. Still, if Ryan had any clue how weak in the knees that look made him, that it made him want to hold Ryan in his arms and kiss all his pain away ... well, if Ryan had any clue of the effect then he certainly didn't let on.

'It's just you, Seth,' he thought. 'Being the stupid little fairy Luke always accuses you of being. The poor guy is laying there, probably feeling like crap, and all you can do is stand there staring at him like a big dork and wonder how his eyes can both break your heart with their sadness and make you horny at the same time. Come on, dude, he's practically your brother now. Start thinking of him like that.'

"You should, uh, come in the house. We've got like a whole pile of medications. You know what they say, cold pills and Captain Crunch, it's the breakfast of champions," Seth said, gently bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet.

Ryan didn't want cold pills and he really didn't want cereal either. He definitely didn't want to give his already upset stomach any ammunition to use against him. 'Cause what says thanks for taking me in quite like throwing up on the expensive rug in the main house,' thought Ryan. His actions always had a way of causing more problems for him so, wherever possible, he did all he could to avoid problems. He tried to avoid Luke and he tried to act like the Cohen's must expect him to at all the social functions to avoid embarrassing them. Right now, avoiding putting anything in his stomach seemed like the best way to avoid any later actions that might cause problems.

'Just like you're going to avoid getting too close to Seth,' thought Ryan. 'Cause if barfing on your guardian's rug is bad then wanting to make-out with their son must be ... Well, you're just not going to do that, no matter how badly you want to. Besides, even if you do get vibes from him occasionally (distinctly non-brother type vibes), he might just as likely be straight. Think of all the times you've listened to him drool over that undeserving Summer girl. Stupid chick, doesn't know how lucky she is to have him want her. I guess it's better anyway. Just think how much harder it would be to think of Seth like a brother if he seemed to want you that way. Now, just behave yourself, go inside and try not to toss your cookies on the rug.'

Internal pep talk finished, Ryan dragged himself from the warm, cozy bed and stood up a little too quickly. He found himself feeling like he'd had too many beers when the world began to half spin and he felt his stomach roll in a very threatening manner. Suddenly Seth was there, holding him upright, his arms tightly wrapped around him, his body all too close.

Ryan had been on the receiving end of many hugs from Seth. He swore that Seth's propensity for hugging would probably be his undoing. But at that moment all Ryan could think was he'd never felt someone hold him like that before, never like they'd keep the world and all it's problems away even if it was only for the moment. He was almost overwhelmed. Another part of his mind made the observation that Seth was a lot stronger than he looked.

"Hey, hey, are you alright, man? I thought you were going to take a face plant into the floor. Good thing we weren't by the pool. I mean, I know CPR and all but, uh ..." Seth brought his rambling to a screeching halt when the implication of his words hit him.

Reluctant to let go, Ryan finally pushed away from his human support. Seth was starting to sound uncomfortable and he'd stiffened up just about the same time he'd stopped talking. Maybe hugs were okay but the guy wasn't really comfortable with more extended contact.

'Maybe he's just figured you out,' thought Ryan. 'Maybe he knows what you want and he's just trying to be polite and brotherly and is afraid you'll start drooling all over him or something.'

"I'm ogay now. I juz stood ub a liddle to fasd," Ryan said, feeling very much aware of his goofy sounding, cold-induced speech.

"Cool, but, I'm walking on the pool side just in case, okay?" Seth said smiling and hoping his tone was light enough that Ryan wouldn't suspect anything. He was also hoping madly that Ryan wouldn't notice the blush he knew must be on his cheeks. This wasn't going to be an easy day.

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I'll try to post the next chapter tomorrow night.