Author's Notes: This chapter is dedicated to Jessie. Today, July 4th , is her birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JESSIE! I named this chapter after one of her couplets. It goes like this: 'I'm in my nest of hopes and dreams, and all I hear are people's screams.' So, ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, I give you Chapter Five: In the Nest.
Chapter Five: In the Nest
He was wandering down a very long hallway, only, he was not himself. Well, he appeared the same, except that his fur, which was usually a sleek black (except for the white spot on his chest, of course, but sleek black and white didn't sound as pleasant to his half-conscious mind as sleek black), and he was told somehow glistened when he walked (he didn't believe this), was now dull. How he knew this, he wasn't sure, because he couldn't see himself wondering down the long hallway, but he knew inside of him that this was true and he had to believe himself. I mean, if you can't trust yourself, who can you trust?
Had he been fully conscious, he would have realized that his thoughts made no sense. However, he was unconscious, and walking down a long hallway that seemed to have no end.
Where am I? he whispered. What's happening? What's going on?
Suddenly, there was a bright light all around him, but he couldn't shut his eyes, or move his paws up to shield them. Then as quickly as it started, the light disappeared, and in its place was the end of the hallway, and a door.
He didn't think he should open it, but suddenly he found his paw on the doorknob and the doorknob starting to turn. The door creaked open.
More light. He still could not close his eyes or move his hands. Then the light faded out, and then there was nothing.
But yet there was clearly something.
There was a hand reaching out from the darkness. It was a familiar hand – pure white, with one black finger, and it was slender and graceful. It beckoned to him, using his third name. He reached out to touch it, and the second he did, there was a light again. But this time, the light didn't stop, and he had no desire to shield his eyes from it. It was pleasant, actually, this light – it felt warm and comforting and seemed to whisper words of consolation to him.
Then suddenly he realized that the light was speaking to him, but he couldn't hear what it was saying. He recognized the voice, though; it was a dear beloved voice he hadn't heard for so long. It was the voice that belonged to the same cat who owned the graceful white paw with the black finger – his Aletta. Her voice got louder and clearer. He could make out his third name slipped in every now and then, and he did not take the time to wonder how she had known it. He did not even care for what she was saying, he was so glad to hear her voice.
But then the voice stopped. It stopped so abruptly that it made him jump a little. The light, the warm comforting light was slowly fading into darkness… there was a figure, a dark figure… he was taking it away…
"Macavity!" he yelled, but as the figure's outline became less blurred he realized that it was a female. The light was almost gone now, but Aletta's voice was louder than ever… she was shouting his third name… the light was almost gone… the figure laughed evilly, a chilling laugh that almost drowned out Aletta's cries… but he could still hear her…
"Mistoffelees!"
The sudden change from his third name to his second name startled him at first, until he suddenly realized that it was not Aletta who spoke. He then realized his eyes were closed. He tried to open them, and was surprised when he realized that he could, even though they felt heavy as lead. A familiar face swam into view.
"Electra?" he asked, feeling rather dizzy. He attempted to sit up, but found it way too difficult to accomplish.
"Oh, thank the Everlasting Cat, you're awake!" she said, sounding as if a miracle had just occurred.
"Was I asleep?"
"Unconscious, actually. You fainted, back in the car. Do you remember?"
"I fainted?" he asked incredulously. "Are you sure?"
She smiled and nodded.
"Why?"
"Well, Old Deuteronomy reckons whatever you were trying to do was too much strain for you, and of course the fact that you lost a whole lot of blood didn't help much…"
He then noticed that both his paws and his back had been wrapped with soft green towels. When he licked his lips, he was pleased to discover he did not taste blood.
"…and no one thought you were going to make it, seriously, you were incredibly weak. Everyone is going to be so pleased, the last few hours people have started to talk in hushed voices around you, as if you were on your deathbed… of course, a few hours ago, we thought you might be…"
How had he gotten those cuts? He tried to think back, but found thinking hurt his head to much. What was he trying to do that had caused him to faint?
"And the Rum Tum Tugger came in here practically in tears, seriously, I can't wait to Etcetera," droned on Electra. "And Demeter felt so guilty, even though she really had nothing to do with it…"
Demeter! He knew that name. Demeter. She cried a lot, he remembered. She was always frightened of Macavity, poor dear, it's a good thing she had Munkustrap-
Munkustrap!
"Munkustrap!" he said out loud.
Electra turned around, thinking Mistoffelees had seen the grey tom enter the room, but she shook her head when she saw no one. "No, Misto, he's not there," she said cheerfully. "So, anyway, Victoria was crying her eyes out when we told her, I think she always fancied you, but was scared to tell you… and boy am I glad she never did," she added as an afterthought, looking fondly at the magician.
"Munkustrap!" said Mistoffelees again.
Electra turned around. "No, he's still not there," she said. "But I'm sure he'll be around later, he was ever so grateful you saved him, he felt terribly guilty that you suffered so much on his account…"
"You mean he's all right then?"
"Yes, of course he's all right!"
"Then why didn't you say so?"
"Why didn't you ask?"
"I couldn't remember!"
"Oh." Electra paused for a second, and suddenly she seemed to realize what an incredible thing the tuxedo cat had done. "What… what was going on… in the car? When you were trying to save Munkustrap? What did you do? Your eyes were so hollow… it scared me…"
Mistoffelees looked away. He didn't want to relive it, not so soon.
"That's alright, if you don't want to talk about it," said Electra in a voice that suggested to the magician that she was trying to put his best interests instead of her desires but really wasn't happy about it. "I understand."
No, you don't understand! he wanted to shout. You can never understand! You can never understand me; you can never understand what I went through! Stop trying! You aren't like me, and never will be!
Then he grew angry at himself for thinking such horrible things. So are you mad at her now because she isn't like you? Because she doesn't have the magical powers you've wished so many times you didn't have? Is that fair?
I'm not mad at her because of that.
Then why?
I'm mad because… because…
Because you're sick and tired of being misunderstood…?
"Mistoffelees?" Electra's concerned voice drew him out of his eternal debate. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," he said, not looking at her.
"Well, you don't have to tell me what happened, but be prepared to tell Old Deuteronomy. I'm sure he'll want to know. And since you have the best idea of everything that's going on with Cassandra, Old D. will probably make you tell everything so he knows what the best way to punish her is."
There was silence for a moment. "So you know about Cassandra, huh?" said Mistoffelees.
"Yeah. Munkustrap remembered everything she made him do and say, and boy, should have seen the look on Old D.'s face. Jennyanydots told me when Munkustrap and Tugger were young he used to be very protective of them, because, you know, their brother died in that car accident, and once Deuteronomy even scratched Jenny because she gave Munkustrap more sweets than he thought was appropriate for a kitten to have in one day. Jennyanydots really is a sweet old cat, isn't she? Well, most of the time, anyways. When she isn't telling me to mind my own business and keep my nose out from where it doesn't belong."
Mistoffelees nodded to show he was listening, even though he wasn't.
"And then Bombalurina and Demeter told him everything you had told them, though they were very confused about some parts and couldn't answer most of Deuteronomy's questions. That's why we've all been so anxious to have you wake up, because we all want desperately to know what really happened. 'Curiosity is a curse,' says Jennyanydots, but even she wants to know."
"So you didn't want me to wake up because you were worried about me, you just wanted to hear my side of the story," said Mistoffelees grumpily. He knew he was being over-dramatic, and he didn't care.
Electra hit him playfully on the shoulder. "Don't be silly, and don't be a grouch either. These last two days have been pure hell for me, but don't tell Jennyanydots I said that," she said with cheeky grin. The magician forced a small smile.
"I do wish someone would hurry up and come," said Electra. "I want to spread the good news of your revival, but I don't want to leave you alone… it's ironic, isn't it? When I wish I could have some time by myself, more people come to visit… and the second I wish people would come it's as quiet as a July afternoon!"
"Go ahead and go, I'll be fine," said Mistoffelees.
"Are you sure?" asked Electra anxiously. "I don't want something bad to happen while I'm gone."
"It won't," he said. "Trust me."
Electra bit her lip, and thought this over for a moment or two. "Alright, I'll just go right next door and tell Jenny and Skimple to spread the word. And then I'll be right back. I promise."
With that, she bounded out the door before Mistoffelees had a chance to respond.
She was only gone for a couple seconds when someone else entered the room. "Hello? Electra? Hello?"
It was Demeter, and Mistoffelees could tell by the sound of it that Munkustrap was with her. "I wonder where she is," said Demeter. "It's not like her just to get up and leave…"
"She probably just went to alert her humans that she isn't dead," said Munkustrap. "Poor Electra hasn't been home for two days; those people are probably worried sick…"
"I bet you're right," said Demeter, and Mistoffelees could hear the admiration in her voice. He smiled. Demeter and Munkustrap really were the perfect couple. It made him insanely jealous that what he and Electra worked so hard for came so easily to others…
Did I just think that?
Yes.
How do you know what I just thought?
I am you.
What does this mean, then, me? That Electra and I aren't the perfect couple?
What do I look like, the Everlasting Cat? How on earth should I know?
Well you've always had the answer before… always the very answer that I don't want to hear, but ends up being correct anyways…
So you want me to say that you and Electra aren't the perfect couple?
Did I say that?
You didn't need to.
Oh, what do you know, anyways?
Apparently more than you, I'm not the one having arguments with myself.
"Mistoffelees!" shouted a voice suddenly. "Why, Munkustrap, Demeter, you got here quickly! What did you do, teleport over?" The voice chuckled merrily. "Though, I suppose I would have gone quickly too, it's such fabulous news, Skimple was about to lose hope, too, the little pessimist, but I knew that Misto wouldn't let us down…"
"Whoa, slow down," said Munkustrap. "Not to be rude, Jenny, but what is so fabulous?
Mistoffelees suddenly felt a pair of piercing eyes upon him that could only belong to Jennyanydots. "You mean you don't know?" she said, not taking her piercing eyes off the magician.
"Know what?" said Munkustrap.
"He woke up, just a few minutes ago!" said Jennyanydots. "Electra was just over at my house in a frenzy of excitement!"
Mistoffelees heard the sound of three cats rushing over to him. He sighed. He didn't want to face anyone now. Not yet. He wasn't ready. But, supposing he really didn't have a choice, he slowly forced his eyes to open and mumbled a "hello," careful not to look anyone in the eye.
Demeter squealed with joy, Jennyanydots sniffled as if holding back tears, and Mistoffelees saw a large smile grow on Munkustrap's face.
"It's good to see you," said the grey tom.
"We thought we were going to lose you," said Demeter.
"Excuse me," said Jennyanydots, bursting into tears as she fled from the room.
Electra burst in a moment later. "Skimpleshanks is telling everyone the good news. I'm sure they will all be so pleased. Like I said, everyone was terribly worried, right Munkustrap? We almost had Tugger crying, didn't we, Demeter?"
The couple nodded furiously. "Oh, I'm just so happy!" gushed Electra. "Everything's going to be okay, everything's going to be alright, Cassandra will be kicked out for sure and we can all be happy again!"
"No, we won't!" yelled Mistoffelees, suddenly sitting upright. The three cats at his bedside jumped back, startled by the sudden outburst from the cat who had been so sickly just a few hours ago. "Don't you see? Cassandra's not going to let a stupid thing like getting kicked out of the Jellicle tribe stop her! I don't know exactly what she's planning to do, or exactly why she's doing it, but you can't stop her! Nobody can! It's hopeless!"
"Misto, calm down!" said Electra, clearing disturbed. "I'm sure Old Deuteronomy will take care of it, and getting kicked out of the Jellicle tribe is a big deal…"
"No, it's not!" he shouted. "Do you know how many tribes Cassandra and I have been kicked out of, simply because we're different? Once you hit about 20, it stops mattering."
"Misto, I…"
"And you all think your precious Old Deuteronomy can take care of anything. Well, here's a surprise: HE CAN'T! Nobody can! It takes a lot more than sitting there and looking like a rug to save us from her!"
"Misto, I understand why you're angry…"
"And for the love of the Everlasting Cat, stop saying you understand! You don't understand! You can never understand! You've lived a sheltered existence, always having parents to look up to, always having friends by your side, always having a place to go where you can be accepted and understood! Well, Electra, guess what! There are some cats that have never had that! There are some cats that never will! And you can never understand us, so don't even try!"
Electra felt tears spring up in her eyes, and she turned away from the magician. She wanted very much to say something like 'Well if that's the way you're going to act, then I'd rather you be unconscious!' and then storm angrily out of the room, but she couldn't. She couldn't say something like that, something that was so false, to her Mistoffelees. She loved him, more then she could describe. She didn't want to make him any angrier, and besides, he did have a reason to be angry. If she had been unconscious for two days, she probably wouldn't have woken up in the best of moods. Mistoffelees was usually right, she had learned that. And the tuxedo cat hadn't had the easiest life, from what she had heard of it. But still, she had a right to cry, didn't she? She hadn't cried for the last two days, even though the love of her life had fallen into a sleep no one but her expected him to wake from. She had hope, but hope did not come by itself. It was accompanied by a huge emotional burden… one that she started to get rid of when the first tear fell.
Being in love was no easy task.
Meanwhile, Demeter was repeatedly looking from Munkustrap to Electra, causing her mate to give her weird looks. She stared at Munkustrap for a second, and then turned her head towards Electra while still keeping her eyes on the grey tabby. Munkustrap gave her a puzzled expression. Demeter, exasperated, pointed to herself and then to Mistoffelees, who had curled himself up in a ball on his bed. Then she pointed to Munkustrap, and then to Electra, who had turned away from them all was quite obviously fighting off tears.
'What?' mouthed Munkustrap. Demeter growled, then pushed her mate over to Electra's side. Suddenly realizing what Demeter's strange looks and gestures meant, Munkustrap said in a comforting voice, "Oh, Electra, it's alright, it'll be okay…"
"Why don't you two go outside and talk?" said Demeter, looking at Munkustrap in a way that suggested that if the two didn't go outside, there would punishment. The grey tom quickly guided Electra outside with a striped paw on her shoulder.
Demeter settled herself down opposite the magician's bed. "Turn around," she said.
No reply.
"Turn around!" she said again, a little bit louder.
Still no reply.
"FOR THE LOVE OF THE EVERLASTING CAT, TURN AROUND!" she screamed.
The tuxedo cat rolled over and stared at her in the eye, blinking twice. "So what am I now, your pet?" he asked cynically.
"No, but it got you to turn around," said Demeter. "Now sit up."
"Don't push it."
"Fine then, don't sit up, it doesn't matter," said Demeter. "I can talk to you whether you're sitting up or not."
"I don't want to talk."
"You don't have to," she said. "You can just listen." She paused, and took a deep breath. "You're a good actor," she commented.
"I wasn't acting," said the magician, not looking Demeter in the eye. "I meant every word."
"No, I wasn't talking about that little rant you just gave Electra," said Demeter. "I was talking about two days ago, when we were trying to save Munkustrap."
"That wasn't an act either," said Mistoffelees, snapping his head up to look at the queen. "How could I pretend to revive your mate?"
"I wasn't talking about that, either!" said Demeter. "I was talking about before that, before the barn, after the coffin…"
"How was I acting?" he said fiercely.
"You don't have to sound all offended," said Demeter. "I'm trying to give you a compliment."
"Well hurry up," he muttered.
"The way you talked about everything as if it was no big deal, the way you joked around, the way you smiled and grinned and laughed… it was brilliant. A wonderful show."
The magician looked away.
"You were almost good enough," continued Demeter, "you were almost good enough to hide the fear in your eyes."
There was silence.
"But you couldn't hide it from me," said Demeter. "Because I know what's it's like to know fear. I know what it's like to shut out the world with a mask of smiles. You can act as confident and cheery and laid-back as you want, Mistoffelees, but there's always going to be someone who can see right though it. You can't fool those cats who are trying to do the same thing – push away their fear. Cats such as me and Electra."
He said nothing.
"Keep in mind, Mistoffelees, that Electra is terrified – terrified for you. For awhile nobody thought you would make it. Of course, Electra never said it, but we all know she felt despair and hopelessness. We all did. Electra may not understand you, but she would like too. The sun is on the verge of rising, Mistoffelees. Are you going to be the one to push it back down? You have the ability to."
Still, the magician said nothing. Inwardly, Demeter was frustrated beyond reason, but outwardly she was calm. She did not want to get the tuxedo cat worked up again.
"You know, when you were unconscious, it was almost as if the shelter that Electra had been living under all her life suddenly blew away. She had to mature faster than anyone should ever have to. She needed comfort, comfort that only you could give her. She cares about you so much. She wants to take you out of the rain and bring you into her shelter. Don't drive her away."
"I think, Demeter," said Mistoffelees quietly, "that I have to be alone right now."
"No," said Demeter. "No one ever has to be alone."
*~*
Author's Notes: I had a heavy internal debate about whether I should focus on what happened to Mistoffelees or what happened to Munkustrap in this chapter. I decided to focus on Mistoffelees, obviously, because he is quickly becoming the main character in this story. (It's out of my hands! They have brains of their own now.) Don't worry, we'll get to my precious Munkustrap in the next chapter. Oh, and to the person who said that Cassandra needs a motive for being "evil", and to which I responded you'll find out in Chapter 5, well, you obviously didn't find out in Chapter 5. Chapter 6, most definitely. This chapter was suppose to be way longer, but I figured it would be too much for my poor readers. I cut it down. Don't worry, most questions will be answered in Chapter 6.
Oh, by the way, Happy 4th of July, everyone!
Visit my website! www.expage.com/jemigr
-- jemi gr 04-july-03