DG: Chapter three! And now, we finally meet another character, since they all can't be plotting against Bakura, can they? Especially not Bakura! Ever tried to plot against yourself? It's kinda hard. My favorite character finally makes his appearance!
Disclaimer: You say it, Malik, since you seem to know it so well.
Malik: DG doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh! She doesn't even technically own the Millennium Rod; only in here, because she stole it from me. She only owns herself.
Key:
"Normal speech"
'Thoughts'/Ryou to Bakura/
//Bakura to Ryou//
\Yugi to Yami\
\\Yami to Yugi\\
Seto to the Rescue! Chapter 3
Painful Falling Coconuts
Ryou Bakura was walking along the sidewalk, for lack of a better thing to do. He hadn't been able to go to Yami's birthday party, since his yami would probably hear their torture plans if he went.
Ryou suddenly noticed that he recognized the person he was following, Seto Kaiba. "What are you doing here?"
Seto turned around. "Rescuing Isis. DG says she's been kidnapped."
Ryou's eyes widened. "Isis has been kidnapped? Then hurry and rescue her!" He paused. "On second thought, if DG told you this…" He was about to continue with "Isis probably hasn't been kidnapped or DG organized it," when her voice appeared in his head.
"Ryou, don't say anything, or I swear you'll find out about my painful falling coconuts the same way Malik did!"
Malik's voice chimed in. "And my way WAS… painful…"
"I already said that, baka!" followed by the sound of someone being hit by a long, blunt object. Ryou winced, and DG commented, "The Millennium Rod is very useful, isn't it?"
"Don't call me that! I'm older than you!" Malik yelled.
"BE QUIET!" DG yelled back, and summoned one of her infamous falling coconuts, which abruptly bonked Malik on the head. An image popped into Ryou's mind of DG, holding the Millennium Rod high in triumph and standing over Malik, who had little X's for eyes and was apparently knocked out for the time being. In the background, an unbroken coconut rolled away, and Ryou blinked. 'I could swear that thing is grinning evilly…'
Ryou turned to Seto, who had a slightly puzzled look on his face. Apparently, DG hadn't been talking to him. "Since when has DG had the Millennium Rod?"
The look on Seto's face cleared. "Malik says she stole it from him."
"Oh…" Another image popped into Ryou's head, this time of DG trying to revive Malik. A bucket of ice water was dumped over his head. When that didn't wake him up, she shrugged and got a bucket of boiling water. This time, Malik screamed and started running, only to slip on the ice from earlier. He frantically tried to cool down using some of the ice on the floor, and DG grinned.
"And THAT is why I prefer using hot water to cold!" she said. Ryou sweatdropped and shook his head. 'That girl is INSANE!'
Kaiba had received the image too, and by the look on his face, he agreed.
"What? It's much more effective!" DG protested, still grinning. A coconut fell behind her, hitting Malik, who had been trying to sneak up on her and steal the Rod.
"Don't tell him anything," she added, this time only to Ryou. "If you do, I won't give the Millennium Rod back, and he'll hate you forever!" Malik glared at the authoress, rubbing the new bump on his head.
That reminded Ryou of the situation at hand. "Shouldn't you go rescue Isis now?" he asked. "I mean, you've wasted enough time already…"
Much to Ryou's (and DG and Malik's) relief, Seto grumbled, "Yeah, whatever," and walked away, not even bothering to say goodbye.
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Malik looked at DG. "And to think, you want my sister to like this guy."
She shrugged. "He may have an attitude problem, and he may want to ignore his feelings, but I know, deep down…" she grinned. "He likes her!"
Malik rolled his eyes. "Yeah, REALLY deep down." He yelped as a coconut appeared and hovered over his head. DG snickered. "Be nice, Malik…"
Luckily, the Malik-torture was interrupted by a VERY loud voice. "Seiyaryu, Kuriboh! Kuriboh, Seiyaryu!"
DG looked up. "Oh, there goes the doorbell. It's probably Ryou."
"Seiyaryu, Kuriboh! Kuriboh, Seiyaryu!"
Malik raised an eyebrow. "THAT'S your doorbell?"
"Seiyaryu, Kuriboh! Kuriboh, Seiyaryu!"
"Yeah, so? What's wrong with having a doorbell yell out the names of your favorite Duel Monsters?"
Malik was about to reply when the doorbell interrupted him. "Answer me already!"
"I will! Just wait a moment and be quiet!" DG screamed back.
"I've BEEN waiting!"
"Shut up or I'll smash you!"
"Fine! Be that way!" her doorbell yelled. Grumbling, it sang, "Seiyaryu sucks! Kuriboh sucks!"
At that, a gigantic anime mallet appeared in DG's hand. "I'm warning you…"
The doorbell was silent. DG went to open the door to her realm, leaving Malik standing there.
"Hey! Aren't you going to get rid of this? DG!" he cried, pointing to the coconut hovering over his head.
There was no answer. Malik groaned and started walking to where DG had disappeared.
That's when he discovered that the coconut followed him.
DG walked back in with Ryou, only to find Malik running around in circles. "What are you-" she began, then stopped and started giggling as she realized that Malik was trying to outrun the coconut floating over his head. Unfortunately, he wasn't succeeding.
Ryou stared at Malik. "What's that?"
Malik pointed upwards, and the coconut bumped into his finger. "This? It's DG's warped idea of fun." He walked over to DG and Ryou, the coconut bobbing over his head.
DG laughed, and the coconut just touched the tip of Malik's hair. "There are other ways to get rid of it, you know, other than just running around…" This time, the coconut lightly hit Malik's head, and the Egyptian snapped.
"Go away!" he yelled, hitting the fruit. The coconut flew away from his head before hitting a wall. Forming an evil grin, it bounced back and hit Malik on the head.
Grinning, DG bent down over Malik. "Next time, you could just ask me, or be really nice!" Turning back to the TV screen, she said, "Now, I wonder how Seto's doing…"
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DG: This is going to be fun… the next chapter's titled Crazy Authoress Friends, and for a reason! And Malik is now officially an baka! Sorry, but I couldn't help it. And I know the boiling-water thing was kinda mean, but he didn't really get hurt. It was just in there as a way to annoy him. Hey, he's an anime character. Do something to them, they scream, and then they're perfectly all right two minutes later. Please review, or I'll use the Millennium Rod on you, and Malik's never going to get it back! And no flames, or I'll steal the Ring, too!