The Secret Magic : 2: Uncontrollable
By: Karigan Marie
Chapter: Snip Snip
*****
"So you want to be a boy, do you?" Mistress Messina called out shrilly.
Jade's head swung around to the left in order to see where the old bag was yelling from. She was taken by surprise when she felt the woman's cold skinny hand wrap around her upper arm and yank her off the pony. Jade practically fell off, her left foot catching in the stirrup and twisting awkwardly. The old retch was strong for being so frail looking.
Jade had nearly forgotten what it felt like to wear breeches. She'd been somewhat exuberant about the idea of finally being able to learn how to ride horseback on a 'real' ridding saddle; and looked forward to never again using a sidesaddle. She'd woken up good and early to go find Squirrel, her small freckled pony, and get a good start on her practicing. But after only half an hour into her intended project of learning how to trot on a horse without having to compensate in balance by leaning, she'd been rudely interrupted.
She landed on one knee, the arm not gripped tightly in Mistress Messina's hand helping her balance by flailing around pointlessly. "Honestly, I've never such naughtiness! A young lady in breeches! Preposterous! And after your behavior of the last few weeks, mopping around and acting the way you were. And Lady Masson, allowing you to skip lessons. You are much to spoiled."
"I'm not a lady!" Jade snapped back quickly. She wrinkled her nose at the thought.
"Not in court, perhaps. But you are the Regent Mage's daughter, and you cannot meander around showing your legs!" She tugged on Jade's arm, pulling her towards the manor house.
"But I've worn bree…Ouch! She was cut off by a warning squeeze from Mistress Messina.
"Quiet girl! Stop talking back!"
Jade clamped her mouth shut. Mistress Messina was a strict old bag that took it upon herself, as a personal mission, to make sure the household honor was kept. She was cautious of almost all actions Jade took when Atune wasn't tutoring her. She'd nearly had her ears boxed a few months ago, when Mistress Messina had caught a servant boy in Jade's room helping her tear down some vines she'd accidentally grown the previous night.
Jade sighed to herself as she was dragged into the kitchen. Perfect. She'd probably have to peal potatoes for the rest of the morning for 'this' indiscretion.
Mistress Messina called out to one of her cooks. "Nesi!" She pulled Jade to a wooden chair and pushed her down into it, finally releasing a now sore arm. She walked to the counter and grabbed a bowl.
Jade sighed again in frustration, pushing a few strands of long black curly hair out of her face. She leaned back and sunk down the chair, crossing her arms and ducking her face, letting her thick mass of curls hide her scowl.
The cook hurried in then with a questioning look. It soon turned to a sigh of understanding at seeing an upset housekeeper and slumped Jade. "Nesi, come hold this bowl!" The cook wandered over the old housekeeper.
"Sit up straight, child!" Jade jumped in surprise at the voice so close to her ear and the sharp swat on the head. "You want to be a boy so badly, you'd show your legs in front of everyone? We'll see how much you want to be a boy when you look like one as well!" Jade felt cool hands pulling back her hair. She turned her head sharply to one side to see the small thin woman holding a pair of scissors. Jade's brilliant green eyes doubled in size and she leaned forward to get out of the seat only to be pulled back down by a sharp tug on her hair. "Oh no you don't! A punishment is a punishment! Sit down!"
Jade clenched her eyes in despair. Her father had told her to behave and listen to the old housekeeper, even if she was a 'tad bit old fashioned'. She gripped the sides of the chair with white knuckles and clenched her teeth as if in pain when she heard the hard rasping sound of the scissors cutting through her hair.
Her head jerked forward slightly when the hair was freed from her head; and her eyes caught a thick lock of curl floating down to the ceramic floor with a wave of nausea. Mistress Messina took another handful and chopped away, then another, and another. Jade clenched her eyes.
Finally the rasping and snipping stopped and Jade heard the clatter of the scissors being placed into the bowl that held most of her hair. She reached up and felt her hair and almost began crying. The old witch had cut it just below her ears. She let out a shaky breath.
"Perhaps now you will think about your honor and how poorly riding astraddle reflects on your respectability." Mistress Messina walked out of the kitchen with a huff; the cook close on her heals.
Jade sat in stunned silence for nearly five minutes, her mouth hanging open slightly in amazement. She finally stood up slowly and turned to look at the floor. A few stray strands had not fallen into the bowl and lay tragically against the pretty ceramic floor. She walked over to the counter and reached into the bowl with both hands. She pulled out a handful of black curls in her left hand and the scissors in the right. She brought the hair up closer to look at and felt a new wave of astonishment.
She placed the hair back into the bowl and fingered the scissors in both hands. Looking at it, but not really seeing it. Her depression and despair over the situation suddenly began to turn into boiling anger. Her eyebrows scrunched up as her eyes turned a deep hard green in color.
She realized her emotions getting extreme only a moment afterwards and was momentarily surprised her magic hadn't taken the opportunity to have a field day. Concluding that the winter months had again sent her magic into a dormant state, she let the anger flow freely. And after a few more moments, when she was sure that her magic wasn't getting out of control by her lack of control of her emotions, she turned and, with a screech of anger, flung the scissors across the kitchen towards a glass cabinet holding several glass cups and plates.
Her anger fell flat through the floor when piercing green magic, darker than usual, screamed from her body and shot out of her mouth like millions of small particles and a ray of green slammed through her arm and out her palm, pushing the scissors harder. The millions of small particles of magic slammed into the wall and split it in two as vines pierced through it, down to the floor and across the ceramic floor, sending one of the house cats yowling out the door. It reached the counters on the opposite wall and split the cabinets as it slammed through them and the wall behind it.
The scissors slammed into the glass cabinet, her magic adding to the force and speed of its inertia. Glass shattered deafeningly and flew to the floor with great force; the beam of dark green light that had attached itself to the pair of scissors exploded on impact with the glass cabinet as well. Green light reflected of the many pieces of glass and filled the room momentarily with blinding green light. At which point a massive tree root punched through the tiled wall and extended out a good three feet.
Jade had pushed herself back against the table and frozen in surprise. When the vines and roots finally slowed to a stop and the noise of shattering glass disappeared, the silence made Jade's heart quicken. She heard hurried footsteps and worried calls. She swallowed uneasily. Mistress Messina and the Cook ran in and screeched to a stop at the entranceway, the cook's eyes widening in horror and Mistress Messina's hand coming up to cover a cry of alarm.
More hurried footsteps as Jade heard another voice from the hallway. "Jade?" Atune pushed through the two women and looked around, a bluish Kitten appearing near her heals. Atune's eyes saw the root, vine and shattered glass and then immediately flew to Jade. She launched herself forward and to her knees in front of the nine-year-old. "Are you alright?" Jade nodded, eyes still wide in stunned amazement.
Atune sighed in relief. "I could hear that all the way up in the drawing room. I thought we were under attack aga…" Her voice stopped suddenly, her eyes widening in absolute horror. She reached up and, although not roughly, grabbed a fistful of her hair. "WHAT in Mithros' name happened to you hair?!?" Kitten squeaked shrilly.
Jade looked down and winced miserably. "Mistress Messina cut it off because I wore breeches and tried to ride Squirrel in a regular saddle."
Atune let out a breath of disbelief. She stood up quickly, taking Jade's hand in her own and turned to the old women and cook. "You cut off her hair?"
Mistress Messina sighed audibly. "My lady, the girl needs to learn to act like a girl. It will not do for her to…"
She was cut off by Atune pushing through the two women, Jade trailing behind. "Come with me Messina." Atune's voice was cold and hard, leaving no room for argument.
They walked quickly up the grand staircase in the foyer and down one of the magnificence hallways, Kitten's angry red form occasionally snapping at the old ladies feet. Jade was sometimes overwhelmed by how large the house was. She was used to the vast hallways and courts at the palace, but never had so much space belonged to her family. Within a minute they reached the far end rooms, those her father used. Atune banged noisily on his study door. Jade looked up at Atune's face and saw a cloud of anger there not unlike her own had been in the kitchen. Jade felt a moment of envy that Atune could allow herself such emotion and not destroy a perfectly useful room. They heard a thump and curse through the door followed by a quick 'come-in'.
Atune turned to Messina. "You are to stay here until called for." The old woman's face was slightly surprised, but Jade could see no more as she was tugged into her father's study.
There was nothing unusual about the room. It was filled with books and documents, all in great disarray. The desk was covered in papers and ink, the walls were covered end to end with bookshelf after bookshelf, all of which were filled to capacity with various other books crammed on top of the shelved ones where space permitted. A scrying mirror she recognized as her mother's sat on top of a stack of papers sitting on a chair. Her father was on the library ladder looking through books on the top shelf, his back to them. She jumped in surprise when Atune nearly slammed the door closed behind them. "Numair." Atune stated with little softness.
"Hmm?" Numair continued to look at his book.
"Numair!" She stated again.
"I'm listening, Atune." He stated with patience, flipping a few more pages. Jade nearly smiled at his actions.
"I think this time it would be appreciated if you would 'look' at us while we speak."
His eyes scrunched up at 'us' and he looked over. Noticing his daughter, he smiled brightly at her and looked back to his book. He turned back to the shelf, placing the book away. It took a few moments. And even as Jade expected his reaction, she couldn't help it as she jumped slightly when her father's whole body whirled around for a second look. His eyes landed on her again with a hard glare full of questions. Good grief, she was in for it now.
He climbed down the small ladder with purpose. When he finally stood in front of her, his towering height and crossed arms giving him a rather menacing presence, she had to look down at her hands. They were twisting and twining together in nervousness. She tried to rub away the small green glow on the edges of her fingers.
"What did you do to your hair?"
She expected his voice to be angry by the look on his face; but it was soft and almost sad. She was about to speak when Atune cut in, and there was no softness or sadness in her voice. It was laced with anger and hard, sharp words. "Punishment. For wearing breeches and riding astraddle on her pony. Mistress Messina seemed to think it appropriate."
Numair looked up at Atune with little emotion, only a slight widening of his eyes in comprehension. He reached forward and ran his hand through the short mess of hair, his eyes taking on a sad look of concentration and his jaw setting with disappointment. He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose in resignation. "Is she here?" he asked Atune quietly.
A quick nod. "Outside, waiting."
"Ask Mistress Messina to step inside. Atune, please, see what you can do with this…" He waved at Jade's hair. "…Tragedy." Jade sighed in defeat again. It would take months for her hair to grow out.
Jade nodded and obediently walked to the door beside Atune.
*****
The old housekeeper stepped inside the unorganized study and scrunched her nose at its disarray. Master Numair stood at the window; book in hand, reading it carefully. "I understand you cut Jade's hair as punishment." It was casual, and it gave the prude woman lead to explain.
"I caught her outside this morning with breeches on, Sir. Not only that, instead of her usual lady's saddle, she rode on a man's saddle."
"And punishment for this is to cut off her hair?"
"Sir, I know the child treasures her hair very much, a vanity that should be broken soon, if you ask me, so it is suitable that punishment for acting like a boy is to have to look like one."
Numair sighed and closed his book patiently. "Messina, Jade is accustomed to Tortall. Women are not barred from riding like men there."
"Yes. I am aware of this, Sir. But I beg your pardon for saying so, Sir. She is in Tortall, no longer. Here in Carthak, traditions are different, as you know so very well, already. And while the cities on the coast of the Great Inland Sea may have tolerated some wild behavior, Kilbao is still very traditional. To let your daughter run around in breeches, showing her legs so vulgarly, it is intolerable. What are people to think, they will talk."
"I'm not terribly interested in what others think, Messina."
"No Sir, of coarse not. Your status is much too high for anyone to think anything but the best of you. But the same can not be said about Jade."
"She is my daughter, and will inherit the same position in life as I." He looked at the old woman now, his irritation getting the better of him.
"She is a girl, Sir."
"And therefore…" he waited for her to explain further.
The woman straightened her back. "And her respectability rests on completely different grounds than yours, Sir."
"Respectability?"
"Breeches, Sir."
"I told you, Messina. She is accustomed to Tortall. People know this."
"If you will pardon me for saying sir, People don't really care. It's bad enough for her to be running around with a tutor that will not even wear a veil; but for her to be showing her legs, no matter how young she still may be…people will think she is no better than she ought to be."
Numair clenched his eyes and set his jaw, turning away from the woman. He'd heard words like that like years ago, and had been just as irritated by them, though for different reasons.
{If you visit a man's room, you need a chaperon. Really Numair, you know Carthakis. They think an unveiled woman is no better than she ought to be. Until we leave here, you can't talk with her unless she is chaperoned or you can manage it in public.}
Messina took the silence as an advantage. "I do not understand why after so many months of wearing dresses, she should want to wear breeches now. She has been willing, I presumed she'd been wearing them her entire life."
Numair took a deep breath and turned away from the old bag. "Her mother past away one year ago as of yesterday." The woman's eyes flickered with the slightest amount of sadness before turning back to their stern dark brown. "In Galla, it is traditional for a girl to wear mourning regalia for one full year after her mother's death. A tradition her mother never had the opportunity to fulfill when her own mother, Sara, left with the Dark Lord." He sighed. "For some reason, though I'm not really sure, Jade wanted to carry through with it, I never questioned her about it." He scrunched his nose at the thought. "As of today, she is no longer required, by tradition, to wear dresses or dark colors."
"So am I to assume, than, Sir, that she is to be permitted to run around like a homeless girl with no proper clothing?"
Numair turned around from the window to finally face her again, his eyes now stormy with anger. "You are to assume nothing, Messina. I will not dismiss you today; because you were not fully aware of the situation. But that doesn't let you off the hook. From now on, you will leave matters of discipline to either myself or to Lady Atune, is that understood?"
The housekeeper swallowed and nodded silently.
"Furthermore, my daughter's 'reputation' is not put on the line simply because she wears breeches or rides on a regular saddle. In fact, I want you to hire the best rider in Kilbao. My daughter needs to learn from the best."
The housekeepers eyes widened in astonishment. "But, Sir…"
"My daughter is training to be a Mage, Mistress Messina. Her duties when she is ordained will often times require long and fast-passed travel. It is absolutely absurd she should be expected to complete such tasks while riding 'sidesaddle'. If anyone has questions about her respectability, you may answer them with that. Is that clear?"
The women remained calm and unblinking throughout the lecture. She lifted her head, and with a quite and restrained voice, bit out, "transparently, Sir."
Numair nodded. "Good." He turned back to his books. "Dismissed." The housekeeper turned quickly and quietly and exited the room.
*****
Atune
fussed with Jade's hair for a good half hour before finally giving up. "I think we're just going to have to wait
for it to grow out some." Jade sighed
and ran fingers through the puffy results.
"At least your curls will give it some volume. No boy would walk around with hair this lively."
A half grin was all Jade could
manage. "That stupid old witch. I'd like to cut off her hair, see how
she likes it."
"It's not so bad. At least she cut it evenly." Atune leaned around to look at her face. "It would have been an even greater disaster had she not."
Jade
sighed. "I was just trying to ride my
pony…"
"I know…Messina is just…a bit
old-fashioned. I wouldn't be surprised
if she got the idea to chop of all your pretty hair from her own nurse while
growing up."
Jade looked interested. "You think?"
Atune laughed. "I wouldn't be surprised." She gave Jade a squeeze from behind. "Now come to it, time to go back out and learn to ride that pony properly."
"Why can't I have a horse?"
Atune scrunched her nose. "You're to small, Jade. How would you mount a horse?"
Jade shrugged. "I'd manage."
Atune laughed heartily. "I'm sure you would. But for now, a pony will do you just fine. Less distance to the ground should you happen to fall."
*****
Jade spent the remainder of the morning riding the little pony; she was glad, for the first time since beginning to ride, that she did have such a short ways to go to the ground. She fell off three times; why she thought riding astraddle would be any easier than sidesaddle was beginning to sound absurd. The pony, which was very calm to begin with, was still much to fidgety for Jade's taste, partly because of Kitten, who would weave in and out of the poor creatures legs. She felt unsteady and unbalanced, as if her weight would collapse the poor thing.
It was the first time she was required to post, something Kirk, her instructor, told her would make the ride much smoother. When she waddled inside for lunch, she was sure she'd reduced her rear end to a flat plate.
She ate vigorously, refusing to meet the eyes of any of the servants who stared at her in question when noticing her hair. After washing up, she gingerly walked up the grand staircase to her study room. Atune waited with her books and papers, ready to begin lessons. Jade sighed and walked to her chair, glaring at her tutor when she snickered at the way she moved.
When the manor bell rung the evening hour, Jade shut her book on herbs and sighed happily. "I'm starving!" She jumped up and quickly regretted it when the pull in her legs screamed.
Atune smiled. "Riding sidesaddle is all about balance, something you still haven't picked up. Riding astraddle…It's a bit more physically demanding than balance based." She smiled. "You writing has improved very much in the last few months." Her ivory hands picked up some papers and documents, looking them over. She sighed. "Though your math is still, at best, average. I don't understand why you find it so difficult."
Jade swallowed and shrugged. "I just don't like it."
"That doesn't mean that you shouldn't try harder."
"I am trying."
"If you put as much effort in to your Arithmetic as you do into Science, you'd be building bridges in a year."
"I won't be building bridges, though. So why learn how?"
"To better improve yourself."
Jade looked away with a heaving sigh. "I don't want to improve myself."
Atune eyes scrunched together. "Jade. I may only be your tutor, and I don't want to sound like I'm your mother, but…"
"Than stop acting like it." It came out of her mouth without even realizing it. As soon as the last word was out, Jade bit her tongue and was instantly remorseful. Her head swung around to meet Atune's eyes. They were stunned and shocked, her mouth open slightly, her tongue coming out to lick dry lips. Jade swallowed slowly and looked down. "I'm sorry. I didn't…" The dinner bell rang lightly in the background.
Atune smiled tightly and reached for some more papers. "It's time for supper." Jade's eyes followed Atune's form as she walked across the room to the door. "Yes, ma'am." She followed silently.
*****
She sat against a thriving Sunt-tree, rare for this time of year. Kitten slept peacefully next to her. She particularly liked this wonderful tree, found only in the south of Carthak. It carried a very sweet smell. The leaves color a soft green and bearing yellow flowers. The bark, while gnarled and black and rough, was soft and pliable, perfect for leaning against. And although Sunt-trees have angular, spreading branches and many sharp thorns, not many people knew she could hide well within it's dense foliage.
It was her favorite meditation spot. Every evening, she sat with her knees pulled up against her chest, her arms wrapping around them and the side of her head gently lying upon her knees, eyes staring at nothing. She would sometimes rock back and forth, the soothing motion helped to clear her head.
Every night, after dinner, her father and her would work on her magic. When one considered, that consisted mostly of meditation, her father saying she had to get a hold of her thoughts and mind before she would be able to control her magic. So she'd sit, letting all her thoughts drain from her for hours on end on occasion, hoping that the ever constant knot in her stomach would ease enough for her to use her magic without punching through a wall.
Sometimes, she would be unable to clear her thoughts, and they would wander to other things. More than not, they wandered to the fact that she'd been working on clearing her mind for nearly four years know, an extremely large chunk of her life, and yet, she hadn't so much as been able to call up her magic voluntarily. It always came out at such inopportune times, when her emotions were high.
For a few months not too long ago, her father had explored that option, asking her to use her emotions, encouraging her to let them cloud her mind. So she'd brought up feelings of anger towards Molina, the girl in Tortall that had tortured and teased her for so long, of longing for Amena, whose letters were often times, her only means of sanity.
Once, she even attempted to remember the fear of ice and cold when she fell into the ice. She had frozen in utter fear and been unable to move. Her father had ended the approach that night.
So they continued on this approach, trying to let her mind take control of the magic by relaxing it. This was one of the nights she was unable to leave current thoughts out of her mind. She felt retches for her harsh words to Atune, couldn't help but want to apologize to her.
Atune wasn't her mother. Jade knew that, Atune knew that, and Jade had never once thought of Atune as trying to take her mother's place. It simply wasn't possible. Atune was…a tutor, yes, but, almost an elder sister. Jade frowned at the remembrance of her angry words. 'Check all thoughts at your tongue…' a small smile played out on her face at a familiar saying of her mother's.
Her mother…those were thoughts that could never be put away. She closed her eyes softly and brought up images of gray blue eyes and brown curly hair. Jade smiled softly.
;a;a;a;a;a;
"What did you do on your trip, Mama?" Jade curled up onto her side in the bed as her mother tucked her in.
"Oh, a lot of stuff." She ran fingers through the girl's mass of curls.
"Mama?"
"Hmm?"
"Are you going to go away again?"
"Not for a while, no." She sat down on the small bed beside the curled up girl.
"You promise?"
She smiled sadly. "I can't promise that, sweet. I don't know what will happen. But, I can promise you this. I will try my hardest to always be here, alright?"
;a;a;a;a;a;
"Mama?"
"Yes?"
"Sing me a song?"
A soft smile. "Alright."
*Every voice is silent round the world,
All the earth is sleeping on this night,
My tired little one, you are in my keeping.
I can hear you softly as you breathe,
Your tiny heart is beating,
Savor every moment now my child,
For youth is surely fleeting.
I am here now,
Have no fear now.
I will keep you safe until the dawn. *
;a;a;a;a
"I didn't know you still remembered that song?" Jade nearly jumped out of her skin at the sudden voice. She looked up to see her father sitting next to her. "You were humming it," he said as way of explanation.
"Oh." Kitten stirred and listened with little interest.
"I'm glad you remember it." He said after a few moments of silence.
Jade licked her lips. "I remember a lot of things."
He nodded with satisfaction. "Good. I wouldn't want you to forget them." He smiled softly in the dimming light.
Jade stood up and brushed off her breeches. "Do you remember?"
He smiled brilliantly then. "I remember everything."
Jade couldn't help but smile as well. She looked up at the purple sky, it was really pretty and in the distance, she could hear the music of a lively servant's party. She looked back down to him, questioningly. "What did you love most about her?"
He stood up and leaned down to her, looking her in the eyes. 'I loved her hair…so wild and curly…like yours."
Jade smiled. "Really?"
"Yes." He reached down and took her hands, twirling her around with the distant music. Jade giggled. "I loved dancing with her." They twirled, Jade clenching her eyes momentarily when she got dizzy. "I loved that, whenever she was around, the birds would chirp as if it were the first day of spring." He dipped her dramatically, smacking a kiss on her forehead. Jade's eyes glowed brilliantly.
"But I think, more than anything else…" he declared dramatically, "I loved making…magic…with her!" He swung her up in the air and twirled her around, black fireworks going off just around their heads, sparkling with life. Jade screeched in laughter, deep green soft sparks of magic flying from her hair and dropping to the grass, springing up vines and deep green leaves that budded and produced white orchids of vanilla within seconds around the Sunt-tree.
*****
A/N: I hope you all like this chapter. I'm in the middle of re-editing my entire first story. When it's done, there will be some changes, not in plot, but in grammar and spelling, Some wording and sentences will be changed, but nothing dramatic. So anyways, I'll be updating when I can, but I want to have the first story completely re-edited by the end of January.
Also: this story is almost ended. 30 chapters in all…this one is number 26…so only four more to go. Brace yourselves, it's not happy. I won't be killing off anymore essential characters….in this story, but it doesn't have a happy ending.
Future Chapters:
27. WAR
28. Crumbling Stone
29. The Road to Orleon
30. He who does Evil
Next story: The Secret Magic: 3: Whisperings
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