Chapter Nine: So Must We Go On

If I asked if you believed in magic, pure and real magic, what would you say?

Of course, there is ordinary magic that is always around us. Seeds turning into beautiful flowers, caterpillars turning into butterflies. Magic. Simple magic, but magic nonetheless.

But what about extraordinary magic? What about the ability to make something happen with only your mind? Do you believe in it? Is it real? Logic says no, yet something greater than logic says yes.

I tell you this: what I do, what I feel, what I am, is not some trick meant to amuse kittens. I know that. What I do is not an illusion. It starts out as a mere thought. Anyone can think a thought – it is not hard, and I find that most cats do it rather frequently. However, only a special few can take that thought and push and push and push and concentrate and not let go and keep pushing and stare into the light and hear the music – and make that thought into a reality.

That's all I do, really, is keep pushing.

The magician blinked and wearily rubbed his eyes. I've gone mad – sleeping! What a bloody brilliant time for me to doze off! he thought bitterly. I'm going to be the death of me!

Yawning, the black and white tuxedo cat sat up and stretched his arms.

"Mistoffelees," said a voice behind him.

"Oh, you again," he said coldly. "How long have you been there?"

"Long enough," said Cassandra.

Mistoffelees sighed. "What do you want?"

"The Jellicles."

"No you don't," said Mistoffelees quietly. "It was never about the Jellicles. This is between you and me."

"Well, since you seem to know so much about what I plan on doing, why don't you explain it to me," snarled Cassandra bitterly.

Mistoffelees turned around to face his sister. "Cassandra, I want to help you," he said slowly. "I know you can overcome this. Please. We can start over. We can find another tribe. I can help you get through… whatever's happening to you."

"Mistoffelees, this is not just a phase I am going through," said Cassandra, cocking her head. "It is me. And it's you, as well."

Mistoffelees shook his head. "Never."

Cassandra shook this off with a wave of her paw. "Alright, fine. You can be that way, I don't care. It's only a matter of time."

"Only a matter of time until what?" said the tuxedo.

Cassandra rolled her eyes. "Until you give in to what's in your blood."

"I'll never give in," said Mistoffelees. "Never. And I won't let you give in either."

"It's too late for that," said Cassandra. "Maybe if you hadn't been so quick to give up on me, none of this would ever have happened."

"Don't try and blame this on me!" he cried, even though he knew that Cassandra was telling the truth. "Goodness Cassandra, I'm sorry for being happy! I'm sorry for having a life of my own! I'm sorry for making friends! I'm sorry for falling in love! I'm sorry for trying to make a life for myself! There! Are you satisfied?"

"This isn't the right time for your sarcasm," she said. "You're trapped. You're done for. Your stupid little 'friends' are going to come and try to 'save' you, I'll have them and then I'll have you. And then I'll have the Jellicles and then, Mistoffelees, then I will be satisfied."

"You're disgusting," muttered the tuxedo cat.

"Oh, so you're ashamed of me?" said Cassandra, a smile growing on her face. "Ashamed to be my brother, are you? Ashamed to be in the same room as me? Should I feel 'graced' by your presence in this barn, Mistoffelees?" Her smile faded. "I don't."

"You know what," said Mistoffelees angrily, throwing caution to the winds. "All we ever do is the same thing: pointless banter, back and forth. We're both trying to use our words to make the other back down, and it doesn't seem to be working for either of us. I'm not going to back down. Are you?"

"No," said Cassandra, narrowing her eyes suspiciously.

"Well then, let's settle this right now," said Mistoffelees, taking a deep breath. Before any of the Jellicles get here and get involved, he added silently.

"Are you forgetting something? You won't kill me!" spat Cassandra.

"You shouldn't be so upset about it, it turns things highly in your favor, you know," muttered the tuxedo cat.

"You are so naive!" cried Cassandra suddenly. "You honestly believe our sister was some kind of saint, don't you? Well, guess what? Our sister was worse than I am! Do you know why she died? She killed herself, because in the end it drove her mad!"

Mistoffelees blinked. Half of him wanted to scream out at such foolishness, and the other half of him wanted to beg Cassandra to go on. "Wh…what drove her mad?" he asked tentatively.

"This!" screeched Cassandra, jumping up and throwing out her arms. "What's in our blood! What's taken over me! What will eventually take over you! It drove her mad! She threw herself in front of that car, Mistoffelees. It was no accident, believe me, it was no accident!"

"Why should I believe you?" said Mistoffelees, trying to sound confident, but the quiver in his voice rang loud and clear.

"Mistoffelees, if there's only one time in your life you can believe me, make it this time," said Cassandra, her eyes softening. "It's a curse. I'm bound to it. As I have begun, so must I go on. No choice, no consolation for me. None for you either. It'll catch up to you. It will."

"We can stop each other from going crazy," continued Cassandra, smiling a little. "Think about it. Neither one of us has enough power to do anything alone, and we would both eventually end up like the dearly departed. But together…" she trailed off. "Together, we could have anything. Anything! They would love us."

"They would fear us," said Mistoffelees quietly.

"Doesn't matter," said Cassandra quickly, pleadingly. "It's your destiny, Mistoffelees, you're going to have to give in to it sooner or later, why not sooner?"

"I swear to the grave of our mother," said Mistoffelees solemnly, "if my destiny is to end up like you, then I will most assuredly throw myself in front of a car. Who could blame Aletta for wanting such a fate?"

Cassandra's paws clenched into tight fists. "I have other methods to make you see."

A sudden rustling of leaves from outside and Electra's frantic voice crying "Mistoffelees!" alerted the tuxedo cat as to just what those methods were.

*~*

A note from the author:

This is the end.

Alright, so it's not the end of the story… but it is the end of what I will be writing down.

In short: I am discontinuing this story.

I really didn't want to do it - I tried, I honestly did, to finish off this chapter, the two that follow it, and the epilogue, but I couldn't. I was simply going to leave it at the end of Chapter Eight, but I thought I'd post the three pages of Chapter Nine that I did have written. I just can't write this story anymore.

Thanks to everyone for your support and (hopefully) your understanding… This story wouldn't have gotten this far without you guys.

One last sigh for posterity: *sigh*

-le Jemi de Gr