I'm so horribly lazy. There's really no excuse for me to have taken so long
to write this. Other than, you know, I'm really lazy. Anyhoo.. I was
watching Teen Titans this morning (nothing to do with X-Men really) and it
was that one when Beast Boy is jealous of Aqua Lad and then they're best
friends after about twenty minutes. Somehow that inspired this chapter.
There are OCs in here but they really just magically die like Jennie and
the boat Fangirls. Much pointless drivel.
Disclaimer: I /do/ own X-Men Evolution, they are mine because- (little man in a suit walks up and hands the Cap'n a piece of paper) WHAT? I don't own X-Men? Holy crap. When did that happen?
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Fangirls are Scary, Chapter Three. YAY!
Pietro Maximoff sat on the couch, submerged in his enormous ego, when for some reason Mystique magically appeared in front of him.
"Quicksilver. Guess what?" she looked very excited for she was bouncing on her heals and her eyes were twice as big as her head, like in Pokemon.
"What?" he said in annoyance, for he hated to be bothered whilst he admired how great he was, for he was surely superior to all things in the entire universe including /Alternate/ Universes. BOW TO HIM!
"NO! You have to guess," Mystique said stubbornly and pouted because all adults whine and pout because they think they can get away with it. They can't.
"Fine.. um.. oh! You got my Dragon Ball Z boxers back from Piotr?" she shook her head, "Eh, you finally confessed your undying love to Cyclops?" again she shook her head, "Okay.. both your children forgave you for abandoning them and ran back into your arms and you got them to call you mumsey?" He began to think her neck was kinked up because she shook her head once more. "Can you just tell me? I'm obviously not going to guess as I am obviously incompetent. Proved by my continuous use of the word obviously." Mystique sighed.
"Very well, I will tell you." Then she just stood there smiling and nodding to herself as if she /had/ told him even though she hadn't and whatever she had not told him was positively fantaculistic. Pietro, however quickly forgot about her because he saw his reflection in the TV and his stunningly masculine male beauty stupefied him.
Three days later Lance walked in and saw them in the same exact spots and realized what had happened. He ran to get a stick and prodded both of them out of their stupidity and then snuck away.
"Hello? Mystique? You never told me your big news." Mystique realized this was true and proceeded to tell him her funtacular news.
"Well I was at Taco Bell, minding my own business. Suddenly, I noticed my booth was on fire and I was so terribly upset I needed to go to the bathroom. After I was done I began amusing myself by changing into all the celebrities I hate and making them say really stupid things and painting their faces with green lipstick while watching myself do so in the mirror," Pietro looked at his watch and again caught his reflection and would have fallen into another stupor if Mystique hadn't screamed.
"What?!" he shrieked girlishly.
"I was just showing you how the girl reacted when she saw Doctor Phil wearing a pink bikini in the ladies room."
"What girl?"
"The girl who walked into the bathroom."
"Ah. Continue then."
"Very well. Immediately, I changed into my regular blue spectacular self. She screamed again and suddenly the bathroom was filled with floating pink bubble hearts. I realized she was a mutant and quickly explained who I was and then invited her to join the Brotherhood." Pietro suddenly noticed that there was a girl standing right next to Mystique, and apparently she had been there the whole time. She beamed at him and began to drool, clasping her hands together and swaying from side to side. Pietro gasped. Could it be? Yes, yes it could. She showed all the signs. Good lord, she was a Fangirl! Crikey.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Pietro ran screaming from the room and didn't stop until he was a good ten miles away, but we all know Fangirls are part of another dimension and are not affected by the Space Time Continuum. So Pietro heaved a sigh of relief only to have it cut short upon finding the Fangirl standing right beside him.
"Please don't hurt me! I'm too glorious to die!" he whimpered, yet managed to sound manly while doing so.
"Hi, my name is Christine. I love you!" she said oblivious to his pleading. He screamed and tried again to run away. This time he ended up at the mall. There had to be someplace he could hide. A place no woman would ever venture into. THERE! A porno shop! Perfect. He hid behind the Hentai rack, believing he was safe.
"Sweetheart! There you are. Look, I made one of my bubble hearts just for you!" she held up her hand and indeed a purple bubble heart appeared above her hand, and others floated up around her head. Pietro sighed; he realized there was no escape so he just decided to wander aimlessly until he died.
Christine followed him, rambling incessantly about their wedding and how adorable he would look in one of those blue seventies tuxedos. The ones with frill. Goody.
"Hey Pietro!" Pietro turned, hoping it was Wanda out for his blood again but it was only Kitty Pryde.
"Oh, hey," he said disappointedly. Christine stopped making heart bubbles and turned in awe of Kitty Pryde, whose powers were just as useless as hers and therefore one to be idolized.
"Like, hi! Who's this?"
"I'm Christine! I make floating heart bubbles!"
"Like, wow, totally awesome!" Kitty exclaimed. Pietro attempted to slink away but Christine used her Fangirl powers to catch him and clung to his arm. Kitty saw this and blinked in surprise. This was a Fangirl. Like, totally weird!
"Like, you better let him go, Fangirl!" she said shaking her fist threateningly, because all objects of Fandom band together when they are threatened by those who worship them endlessly.
"Never!" Christine cried and began a mass production of brightly colored heart bubbles with angry faces. Kitty, though there was really no need to do so because bubbles pop when you touch them and they were not a real obstacle, phased through them and pulled Christine's hair. Christine scratched at her face with her fake nails. Pietro watched with little interest as he was doomed and nothing mattered anymore, until he realized Remy was standing next to him.
"What're you doing here?" he asked to a chorus of angry cat sounds.
"Remy always dere for a cat fight," he said nonchalantly.
"Oh. Hey you've dealt with Fangirls. Is the situation hopeless?"
"Yes. Wait.. from what Remy has gathered Fangirls can only be defeated by a female mutant. Or maybe it's just Rogue. Couldn't hurt to try, dough."
"Try dough?" Remy rolled his eyes. –I really have to stop talking like that- he thought.
"Jus' tell Kitty to phase t'rough her an' dat should work." Remy said.
"Kitty phase t'rough her and that should work!" Pietro shouted. Kitty did so, causing Fangirl Christine's brain to malfunction, much like a machine, and the crazy Fangirl fell over.
"Huh. It worked." Pietro said. Remy nodded sadly for he had not been able to see the whole catfight. Now he would have to go find /another/ one. Heavy sigh and eye roll.
Pietro and Kitty stood there awkwardly for a while until Kitty said, "Like, we should totally hook up!" which caused Pietro to run away.
A few hours later Lance walked into the living room and found Pietro smiling at his reflection in a spoon, Toad drooling over Wanda, Wanda scowling in disgust, and Fred eating slop out of a trough.
"I'll get the stick," he sighed.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
There. You are now ten percent stupider then you were when you began reading this. Congratulations! My brain hurts. Much love my fellow authors. Review please!
Disclaimer: I /do/ own X-Men Evolution, they are mine because- (little man in a suit walks up and hands the Cap'n a piece of paper) WHAT? I don't own X-Men? Holy crap. When did that happen?
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Fangirls are Scary, Chapter Three. YAY!
Pietro Maximoff sat on the couch, submerged in his enormous ego, when for some reason Mystique magically appeared in front of him.
"Quicksilver. Guess what?" she looked very excited for she was bouncing on her heals and her eyes were twice as big as her head, like in Pokemon.
"What?" he said in annoyance, for he hated to be bothered whilst he admired how great he was, for he was surely superior to all things in the entire universe including /Alternate/ Universes. BOW TO HIM!
"NO! You have to guess," Mystique said stubbornly and pouted because all adults whine and pout because they think they can get away with it. They can't.
"Fine.. um.. oh! You got my Dragon Ball Z boxers back from Piotr?" she shook her head, "Eh, you finally confessed your undying love to Cyclops?" again she shook her head, "Okay.. both your children forgave you for abandoning them and ran back into your arms and you got them to call you mumsey?" He began to think her neck was kinked up because she shook her head once more. "Can you just tell me? I'm obviously not going to guess as I am obviously incompetent. Proved by my continuous use of the word obviously." Mystique sighed.
"Very well, I will tell you." Then she just stood there smiling and nodding to herself as if she /had/ told him even though she hadn't and whatever she had not told him was positively fantaculistic. Pietro, however quickly forgot about her because he saw his reflection in the TV and his stunningly masculine male beauty stupefied him.
Three days later Lance walked in and saw them in the same exact spots and realized what had happened. He ran to get a stick and prodded both of them out of their stupidity and then snuck away.
"Hello? Mystique? You never told me your big news." Mystique realized this was true and proceeded to tell him her funtacular news.
"Well I was at Taco Bell, minding my own business. Suddenly, I noticed my booth was on fire and I was so terribly upset I needed to go to the bathroom. After I was done I began amusing myself by changing into all the celebrities I hate and making them say really stupid things and painting their faces with green lipstick while watching myself do so in the mirror," Pietro looked at his watch and again caught his reflection and would have fallen into another stupor if Mystique hadn't screamed.
"What?!" he shrieked girlishly.
"I was just showing you how the girl reacted when she saw Doctor Phil wearing a pink bikini in the ladies room."
"What girl?"
"The girl who walked into the bathroom."
"Ah. Continue then."
"Very well. Immediately, I changed into my regular blue spectacular self. She screamed again and suddenly the bathroom was filled with floating pink bubble hearts. I realized she was a mutant and quickly explained who I was and then invited her to join the Brotherhood." Pietro suddenly noticed that there was a girl standing right next to Mystique, and apparently she had been there the whole time. She beamed at him and began to drool, clasping her hands together and swaying from side to side. Pietro gasped. Could it be? Yes, yes it could. She showed all the signs. Good lord, she was a Fangirl! Crikey.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Pietro ran screaming from the room and didn't stop until he was a good ten miles away, but we all know Fangirls are part of another dimension and are not affected by the Space Time Continuum. So Pietro heaved a sigh of relief only to have it cut short upon finding the Fangirl standing right beside him.
"Please don't hurt me! I'm too glorious to die!" he whimpered, yet managed to sound manly while doing so.
"Hi, my name is Christine. I love you!" she said oblivious to his pleading. He screamed and tried again to run away. This time he ended up at the mall. There had to be someplace he could hide. A place no woman would ever venture into. THERE! A porno shop! Perfect. He hid behind the Hentai rack, believing he was safe.
"Sweetheart! There you are. Look, I made one of my bubble hearts just for you!" she held up her hand and indeed a purple bubble heart appeared above her hand, and others floated up around her head. Pietro sighed; he realized there was no escape so he just decided to wander aimlessly until he died.
Christine followed him, rambling incessantly about their wedding and how adorable he would look in one of those blue seventies tuxedos. The ones with frill. Goody.
"Hey Pietro!" Pietro turned, hoping it was Wanda out for his blood again but it was only Kitty Pryde.
"Oh, hey," he said disappointedly. Christine stopped making heart bubbles and turned in awe of Kitty Pryde, whose powers were just as useless as hers and therefore one to be idolized.
"Like, hi! Who's this?"
"I'm Christine! I make floating heart bubbles!"
"Like, wow, totally awesome!" Kitty exclaimed. Pietro attempted to slink away but Christine used her Fangirl powers to catch him and clung to his arm. Kitty saw this and blinked in surprise. This was a Fangirl. Like, totally weird!
"Like, you better let him go, Fangirl!" she said shaking her fist threateningly, because all objects of Fandom band together when they are threatened by those who worship them endlessly.
"Never!" Christine cried and began a mass production of brightly colored heart bubbles with angry faces. Kitty, though there was really no need to do so because bubbles pop when you touch them and they were not a real obstacle, phased through them and pulled Christine's hair. Christine scratched at her face with her fake nails. Pietro watched with little interest as he was doomed and nothing mattered anymore, until he realized Remy was standing next to him.
"What're you doing here?" he asked to a chorus of angry cat sounds.
"Remy always dere for a cat fight," he said nonchalantly.
"Oh. Hey you've dealt with Fangirls. Is the situation hopeless?"
"Yes. Wait.. from what Remy has gathered Fangirls can only be defeated by a female mutant. Or maybe it's just Rogue. Couldn't hurt to try, dough."
"Try dough?" Remy rolled his eyes. –I really have to stop talking like that- he thought.
"Jus' tell Kitty to phase t'rough her an' dat should work." Remy said.
"Kitty phase t'rough her and that should work!" Pietro shouted. Kitty did so, causing Fangirl Christine's brain to malfunction, much like a machine, and the crazy Fangirl fell over.
"Huh. It worked." Pietro said. Remy nodded sadly for he had not been able to see the whole catfight. Now he would have to go find /another/ one. Heavy sigh and eye roll.
Pietro and Kitty stood there awkwardly for a while until Kitty said, "Like, we should totally hook up!" which caused Pietro to run away.
A few hours later Lance walked into the living room and found Pietro smiling at his reflection in a spoon, Toad drooling over Wanda, Wanda scowling in disgust, and Fred eating slop out of a trough.
"I'll get the stick," he sighed.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
There. You are now ten percent stupider then you were when you began reading this. Congratulations! My brain hurts. Much love my fellow authors. Review please!