Title: Ame..(1)-Confusion of the Hearts-
Pairing: 1x2x1=3..hwaiergh? *coughs* I mean,1+2+1..*innocent look*
Feedbacks: Goodie2!Yes,yes,YES!!
Warning: ..mild yaoi scenes..maybe some language(I can't remember)
Disclaimer: I do not,repeat,do not,own any of these characters mentioned inside this fic.Spare me from the pain of remembering it,onegai?
Notes: This is my fourth attempt to write a yaoi GW fics,all the others are still in progress,series if I must tell you.Damn but I think this is the best one yet.Not to say that the othes are a complete failure,though I'm still re-writing it to make it better.And I'm thinking to make a HP fic,..maybe I'll write,maybe not. *shrugging* It really did up to this fic.If it's okay,then I will.If it is not,.. *sweatsdrop*
Duo: Skip the lectures,dammit.People want actions here!
=X__X='' Fine2,..onwards!
~~~
Ame..(1)-Confusion of the Hearts-
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
'For love we kill
For love we die
We do everything for love
And yet where does it lie?'
L.S.Max-Darkness in Our Heart
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I had no choice but to run away.I know that it was wrong,it was very stupid to do so,but somehow,if sacrificing myself is not,..I still would have...,life had never did anything important to me.Except to take away the precious lives in whom I loves dearly.And yet,I didn't dare to curse to the Almighty.I can't.I won't.No matter what happens.
I ran,ignoring the screams of warnings and bullets firing around.As I did,rain started to pour down,washing away the mud and blood from which the wound at my arm bled.
"Duo.."
The rain poured heavier,and I remembered him.He who is the only reason why had I really wanted to go on with my life.He whom the only boy I conceded my devotion,though secretly,to.I smiled,dodging another bullet that appeared out of nowhere from my left.I ran to the side,replying the gesture all the same;a bullet.
I aimed to a moving object behind me,shooting toward his heart.A groan echoed,and I turned to run again.More footsteps from behind followed,and I commanded my feet to run faster.The icy rain dampened my priest's costume,making it all more harder to flee from the incoming dangers.Knowing the consenquences,I dragged my body in force to safety,desperate for help.
"Duo,..what will happen if this war never existed?"
His voice.The usually cold and emotionless sound had suddenly turned warm and with such thought that saddened me went through my mind.It was of the unfinished conversation in which we had the night before.He never did showed so much emotion before.He never did.But now..
"Then we will never meet each other at all,na,Hee-chan?"
Icy cold wind blew,slapping me hard at the face along with the cruel rain.Both seems to as if trying to calm me down from the warm thoughts of my best friend.My secret heartache.Heero Yuy.The impossible soldier.
My answer rang again and again inside my head,and his smilling boyish face flashed through to warm my shivering body.I smiled to the memories.He ever did has a childish face,naivete flashing once in a while behind those indestructable mask.The mask that he had rarely put down.And how he looked when he did,it was a miracle when I did managed not to jump onto him right there and then.As the memories did flashes by,a bullet went past my face,waking me up from the memory of him.
I was annoyed.Damn who did that!Reaching for my gun,I turned around to face my opponent.And what saw is almost making me laughing out loud.The so- called-'opponent' is actually Heero,draped in his usual green sweatshirt and biking shorts.The rain is still pouring,and his face glistened from the water that fell.Amazingly enough,his hair is still stubbornly standing out despite the heavy fall of the waters from the sky.And that did reminds me of its owner's attitude,strong-willed and very stubborn.Standing like that,he looks like as if he had been there for quite a long time.I ran to him.
"Why would have you do that for?Trying to kill me!?"I screamed to his face,the rain deafening our hearing.
"Hn.If I didn't,you would have."He gestured at about 15 foot forward,where there lay an Oz-wearing-uniformed soldier,all drenched in a pool of blood.
I glomped onto him."You're rescuing me!Hee-chan!!How sweet!"
Heero pushed me away,"Hn,"-ing,his face reddened by as he did.After a while,he reached for me,still flushing red."Let's go back to the safe house."
Nodding,I leaned my head onto his broad shoulders,my legs weakening by seconds.Quite funny though,the rain is really,really making me sleepy..wonder what did they put inside those bullets.
"Hey,Duo?"
"..mm..?"
"Look at me."He demanded so suddenly.
I tried to pry open my eyes,but couldn't.It felt as if my eyelids are glued close to each other,with no intention of being open.
"Duo?"I could feel Heero shaking me,but I couldn't even move a muscle.
"Wake up!"
I still can't.
"Duo!!"
Warm darkness beckoned,and eagerly,I went.
* * * * *
Cold.
That was the first thing that came into my mind as I stood there,shivering in the black surroundings.I looked around,and saw nothing except for the fog that covers the area.I walked forward,a step at a time.
There was nothing here nor there.Why?
...
I hate this dream.
...
I always did.
...
I thought it had stopped since I joined in the group with the other pilots.So why?
...
Yet now..
Why does it have to come back?
* * * * *
When I woke up,the first thing that I saw is his face,hovering worriedly as he stares deep into my amethyst eyes.
"Duo?"He stopped,wiping the bangs from my forehead."You okay?"
I grinned."For now,yeah."
"Good."He smiled."I was worried."
Grinning broadly,I continued."Finally you were."
"Hn."
I sat,leaning to the cold wall behind me.The bed I was lying on is nothing but a small single sized,pretty warm but a little uncomfortable for it was already too worn out by years.The blanket is wide,cotton and very smooth on the sides.I wrapped it around myself,releasing my hair from it's damp braid.
Heero handed me a glass of hot chocolate in which I gulped down happily.I was very hungry due to the sleep,you know?Then he handed me a bar of chocolate.I look at him puzzled.I never thought that the house is equipped with any chocolates.Besides,the house is abandoned for quite a time,as Quatre had informed us.
Knowing my puzzled look,Heero grunted an answer."I'd always had one with me when we had a mission.For emergencies."He snorted."Knew you would regain your strength with that.So that you wouldn't fall asleep so suddenly like before."
Silence.
Suddenly smilling,he looked at me with those adorable prussian blue eyes."I know you like it so much that you wouldn't even consider falling asleep,right?Saves me from worrying much."He added cheekily,"But then,you owes me."
I was thrilled.Very.In all my life I had known him,I never thought that he cared for me so much.I never even did thought that he cared for me at all."Che.Suddenly so romantic,Hee-chan?"I teased,could hardly stopping myself from hugging him right there and then.
"So what would you like for the reward?"
He just smiled that wonderful smile of his."We'll see."
Looking around the dimly lit room,I noticed that the rain is still pouring heavily outside.And I could hear some thunders roaring noisily somewhere near.Clenching the blanket nearer,I tried to move to the side,but stopped when a certain pain at my left arm felt all too unbearable."Itai!"
"Careful!"He held me to him,examining the bandage at my arm.All the while he did,I felt my cheeks burning as I could feel him so near.I even could smell his fragrance,his favourite vanilla flavoured coffee and gundanium magnum bullets.I coughed to ease the embarassing thoughts that was threatening to appear.There is no way I could stay sane dreaming about him while being wrapped around in his arms.
I glanced to my wounded left arm.The bandage was perfectly done,which did not give me any wonder.Why should it?He is the perfect soldier.Everything about him is.Perfect.But I wouldn't dare to say that it was that attracted me to him.
It never is nor it will ever be.
He tightened the bandage."I've already taken out the bullets,but it will still hurt.They've used gundanium this time."
"Wha..gundanium?"I winced.Gundanium is actually the most perfect alloy in our era,the most powerful contents that is even used to make all five gundams,our fighting machine of destruction.And very undestructable."Someone's getting smarter."
He patted the bandaged arm."And they've covered it with a few sleeping oils,so best if you just continue to rest and sleep before it turns to poison."
I scratched my chin,my head tinted to the side to face him."Whaddaya mean?"
He snorted again as if to call me an idiot."It means,it actually will turn to poison if you didn't sleep."
I wailed."Of course I know that!But what does it really mean?!"
Snorts."Use your head,Duo.When you're in a battle,of course you won't fall asleep no matter what happens,right?"He looked at me with a-matter-of- factly look.
Nodding,I surpress an "Uh-huh,uh-huh."
"So,when you don't have the sleep,"He continued patiently,"the chemical will then changed into poison,spreading thorough the blood veins in no time.It's reacting due to the body's action.Though,"He shrugged."it's a good thing you did fell asleep."
"Yappari!I always knew it when to save my butt,na,Hee-chan?"
"Hn."He rolled his eyes."Just don't move around too much."Heero got up from his chair,walking toward the door at the end of the room."And sleep."
"Hey,..where ya goin'?"I yawned,suddenly feeling sleepy again.
"Write report."He looked back to face me."You did finished the mission,though."He left.
I blinked.How can I finish it while all time before this,..I was running away from it?And my gundam,Deathsythe is still in repair.And I did fell asleep,didn't I?
Or maybe,..
..Heero!
I grinned.Why that boy..he really did finished the mission for me.Way too cool.So he went back to the base and destroyed it for me."..Hn."
He really is unpredictable.Always.Especially nowadays.Like,when I did something that usually makes him glaring death at me,he looked at me in a thought instead.And when he should have been annoyed when I messed up a mission,he took care of me first,then told me to go back and finishes it.Plain weird.
Even Quatre,Wufei and the often quiet Trowa voices their puzzlement.
...
I just hoped that he wouldn't know that I had a crush on him.No,I shuddered.Let's just hope not.
Rolling to the side,I covered myself with the warm blanket and drifted off to sleep.
* * * * *
I wandered slowly inside the darkness,hands trying to reach for anything at all.I walked on,feeling numb from the coldness the darkness is producing.I had nothing on with me to keep me warm.While still walking aimlessly,I tripped and fell into something watery.
I closed my eyes.
It's warm.
I have fallen into a pool.
And the smell,no,taste is very recognizable.
Blood.
I tried to swam out,but found out that something is dragging me deeper.There is something that is holding me at the legs.
I tried to scream,but that is only making the foul-smelling liquid entering my lungs.I struggled,yet it still hadn't loosened it's grip.The 'thing' gripped me more tightly,and I reached for it to pushed it away.As my hands grasped at it,I stilled at the obvious feeling of knowing what it was.
It felt like hands.
Many hands.
Too many.
I screamed,and the hands dragged me deeper..
* * * * *
"Duo!Wake up!"
'Smack!'
A very hard slap.
I opened my eyes,and again,I saw Heero hovering above me.He was sweating,and he looked very panicked.My cheeks is stinging.
"Hee..Heero?"
He sighed heavily,climbing off me.He sat next to me instead.For quite a long time,he was very quiet.And it kinda scares me.It's not like always that he would be this..kind of 'quiet'.When he did talk,he was very serious.
"What happened?"
"..what did happen?"I asked back.
He looked at me.No,he stared."I heard you screaming from next door.And you were choking like mad."
I didn't say anything.
Silence fell around the room.And I could still hear the rain that is still pouring outside.My long hair fell around my face,as if trying to shield me from those somber looking cobalt blue eyes.I didn't try to tuck it to my ears,because I know that by doing so,I will have to face Heero.I sat there quietly,looking downwards to my clenching hands.
I couldn't tell him.I can't.It's not anything,it's ..everything.I don't want him to be worried,which is the last thing I will ever think he would do anyway.I just..just.My dream is mine,and is mine alone to face.I don't need him to makes matter worse that when he know,I don't need him to be there each time something went wrong,I don't need him at all.
I want him.Nothing else.Only that.
Is it..?
Slowly I felt my hair being lifted away from my face and being tucked to my ears,cold fingers brushing my tingling skin.And then I saw it.
The eyes of a boy whom I have fallen in love with.The eyes that saw straight through me.Through everything I tried to bury deep from everyone.I breathed in his fragrance,enjoying the fresh smell of Heero.
..I was really drowning now.
Drowning inside those endless pool of prussian glassy eyes.Heero shifted closer until we were almost nose to nose.And I could see that he was very tired.There were dark rings under his eyes,each betraying the feeling of caring toward me whom had been stuck with him for a time that felt like forever.
I breathed his name."Hee-chan?"
He caressed my still-stinging cheek,looking sad with eyes full of regrets."I'm sorry."
And he kissed me.
My eyes widened,and my body stiffened at the abrupt action of his.He kissed me softly,as if fearing that he would hurt me if he didn't.It was a very innocent kiss,a childish one.Only lips touching tenderly,nothing else.But I ..I want more.Not just this.Just,..more.
His lips moved slowly against mine,locked together against one another in a simplicy that I never knew existed.The curve of our lips curved perfectly with the line,soft and wet.From the kiss,I knew that Heero is unexperienced,he was moving against me with such act of innocence,so pure and..tender.
I closed my eyes,accepting his way of apology.Leaning back to the bed,I wrapped my hands around him,holding him closer.
With those words,I kissed him back.He was startled,I could sense it,but relaxed immedietly as I caressed his neck lovingly.Very oh so slowly,I flicked my tongue to his lips,meeting his teeth instead,demanding access to his sweet mouth.Heero gasped as I entered his wet mouth,teasing his shy tongue for a response.But after a moment of stiffness,all the shyness disappeared,leaving behind a bolder feeling boy whom had tasted only the quarter side of heaven.
..Heero..
I wanted more,more than just a kiss,more than I knew he could give,..Would give.And yes,I don't only mean sex.No,it's not just sex.I don't mind about that now,though all the hormones in my body protested to being ignored.I know that I shouldn't reacted so eagerly,in which will resulted of him being scared of all these new feeling and emotion that I knew he never experienced before.
..Heero..
He is only a child behind those gorgeous body of a fifteen years old.Of course I know.The problem is,he's the one whose being passive.I ran my hand up and down his neck,shivering him as I lightly stroked his back.In response to that teasing,he plunged his irristibly sweet tongue down my mouth,expecting me to join him in the dare.
I did.I touched mine to him,and moaned as he,though rather expertly toyed with his tongue.Damn him,I thought.He's a hell of a kisser.And for that I am very glad to be his first to be experimented on his newly-found skill.Our tongue danced around for the little while,and neither one of us minded much.
"Mmm,.."
Very slowly,he ended the kiss.I looked up to him,and found him smilling ever so handsome like that.I smiled back,still not letting him out of my embrace.
"Duo?"
"..yep?"
"..thank you."
I was surprised."..?" Why is he thanking me?
"Thank you for kissing me back."
Tears.
Tears is falling onto my face.At first I thought that it was me who is crying,but then I saw Heero biting his lips,tears falling gracefully from his cheek onto my face.I could see him trying very hard not to cry,trying very hard to stop the tears,..but failing to do so.
"..Hee-chan?"
He sobbed,moving off from me,but I held him still.He looked away,as if ashamed of himself to let me see him cry.But I hugged him closer,his tears wetting my face.But I don't think I care anyway.It's nothing.What is important now is that,..Heero..sad.I felt my heart shattered into pieces to see him like this.
"..now,now,..shh,..I'm here,don't worry,I'm here.."I murmured these words to him,rocking him back and forth."..there,there..Daijoubu,Heero.I'm here.I'm always here."
Heero looked at me with those eyes of a very heart-broken little boy,still trying hard not to cry.But as I said those words,he wrapped is hands to me,hugging me very tightly.He cried,such cries that pierced my heart to the root.He never acted like this before,it was slightly a little alarming.Calmly,I caressed his silky hair,still having no intention of letting him go.
For a long time,we didn't do anything at all,except him sobbing in my embrace,and me trying to calm his sobs.And then,his crying subsided.I wiped the bangs from his face,looking through it to see him.
"Hee-chan?"
He had fallen asleep.
I smiled alone.He looks so cute like that,face flushed red and lips opened slightly from the exhaustion.
...
Heero Yuy.
...
He always is a wonder to me.He never talked about his life since he was a kid,never mentioned it at all.All that I know about him is only that he was raised by some guy called Odin Lowe,and was trained to be the most perfect killing machine.And not to mention Doctor J.That old man really did give me the creeps.Well,all the doctors did.
When he did tell me that,I felt like killing that guy.Who does he think he is,destroying an innocent boy's little world since small and turning him into a killer?God,I never thought that any human could be that selfish.Poor Heero.I never even knew that anyone could be that..alone.
I smiled again.Who am I kidding?Both of us is the same,actually.We were orphans,we never knew who our parents are,..and both of us is just one of those people who tried to hide behind the masks.Mine as the joker,while his as the grim one.And he never could smile nor laugh before I met him.
I did ask him about that,but he only said that he was not supposed to.He was trained not to have any normal emotions that everyone would have.That makes me even angrier.Odin is a bastard.And do include the bastard J in,too.Damn him for making Heero as he is now.My poor Heero.I grinned.
'My'?
I sighed slowly,head resting against the headboard.Heero's head was resting onto my chest,eyes closed shut,and body heaved up and down quietly as he breathed.I caressed his silky dark hair,planting a small kiss onto his forehead.He sighed quietly for that,snuggling deeper into my arms.In return for that cute gesture,I hugged him tightly.I sighed again.
Life is not fair.No,wait.It never did.If it is,then we would never have to fight this war.We would still be living happily with our families.We would be happy,and never even knew the word 'death'.Nor the word 'suffering'.We would all be full of life.
..yet again,will it be all that wonderful?
If this war never existed,then I may never meet Heero.If it never did,then I will never understand the word 'survival'.
And trust.
And friendship.
If it never did,I can never meet Father Maxwell and Sister Helen.And Solo.Them who I cared for most.Once.If it never did,..I can never understand the reality anymore.
..and because of this war,I lost them.
Father Maxwell.
Sister Helen.
Solo.
The one who had kindly brought me up from the streets when no one wanted to.The one whom I can really call a family.The one in this world who really did love me.And the one whom I really did love back dearly.
And the three of them is gone now.
And even though they said that it was never mine,it is.It is because of me that they will never be able to breath in this world anymore.It is all my fault they had died.If I hadn't go and steal the gundam,the alliance will never come and attack the church where all those rebels stayed.If I was to be more quick,Solo and the others wouldn't have been affected by the virus.If only..
If only.
Cold liquids touched my cheek.
Tears.
Mine.
My eyes are watery.I was crying.How could I not?They will never come back to life.And I am all alone in this cruel world now.I smiled.'Cruel'?Since when had I been so poetic?Yet again,forgetting that pain is what I had lived for,..
I closed my eyes with a quiet agony,whimpering as the pain in my chest felt all too unbearable to hold onto.
..who is there to love me back after all my sins?
* * * * *
I was drowning.
And yet I could see.
I could breath.
Why?
I swam inside this red coloured liquid pool,seeing nothing at all except reds.
There is no more hands now.
Why?
In the previous dreams,they were not there either.But why had it suddenly appeared before this?
Is it a sign?
...
I missed someone here.
There is a certain feeling of loss inside this dream.
The question is,..
..who?
...
* * * * *
"Heero..?"
I woke up this time to find him gone.Where is he?I looked around,and the sun is shining through the window.And it is still raining outside.The door is open,and I could hear the clicking of aluminium cutleries from the kitchen.I stretched,waking my numb body from it's slumber.
There is a smell of coffee in the air,and I stood although weakly from the bed.I walked to the door,and saw Heero's back facing me.He was cooking something that smelled like bacon.He must have a six sense;because when I did stand there for a second,he turned to face me and grunted,"Breakfast's almost ready."
"Great!"I walked into the kitchen."I'm starving like hell!"
"Hn."
I sat at the wooden chair,facing the television.It was on,and it was airing the news.I turned the volume louder.
"Last night,the army base at section Area 0-15 is burned up by flames."The red-haired woman in the television spoke."Cause is unknown,and Liutenant Kays Castanian believed that it was done by the rebels,the famous and still mysterious gundam groups that usually attacks alone."
I glanced to Heero,but he is still in confusion of which one is the bottle of sugar or salt.I returned watching the news.It was showing the army base that is still smoking black air,everything burning to ashes.Nice work,I praised Heero quietly.
The woman continued when her face appeared,"People surrounding the place ought to be careful,he said,for it is most possible that they are still around.Citizens that found anyone suspicious can call this number,1009- 834.."
"Duo,which one is pepper?"Heero shoved two bottles of salt and sugar under my nose.I grinned."I thought you were looking for salt."
He looked puzzled."Eh?"
"Never mind.Oh,and by the way,the pepper is there."I pointed to a white bottle at the end of the cupboard."This one here is salt and sugar."
".."He was speechless,and flushed red with embarrassment.I laughed heartily."Hn."He continued."You could have been more kind."
I showed my tongue playfully."Knowing me,you know I'm not like that."
"Hn."He glared.I laughed harder at him.Finally,he did glare at me after all these times.I was starting to somewhat misses the sexiness.I snorted to threw the erotic image away,startling him.
"Hey,.."I sniffed in after a while."..did you smell something?"
His face changes,paling.He ran to the stove."Ch'kuso!"The meat is burnt black.I glanced from his drooping shoulder."I thought you like medium done?"
He glared."Urusei!"He scooped the meat out onto a plate and handed it to me."Since you like well-done,YOU eat it."
My mouth is opened widely."Wha..?Hey!No fair.You eat it since you're the one who cooked it!"
"But I thought you said you like well-done?And it is crispy.."
"Way TOO crispy,you mean."
Pouting,I crossed my arm.How could he gave me that..thing?I poked the sizzling meat,still smoking.It did not budge,but only to sizzles more.I shuddered."I'm a sick boy!How can you expect me to eat..that?"
"But I only like medium done..?"He returned sarcasticly.
"Don't care!Then make for me another one.."I whined.
"No.Don't waste food."
"But.."
"No."He curtly cut in.
Uh-oh.This is bad,once Heero says so,he seldomly changes it.I have to act.Fast!I looked up at him with the most innocent,shiny,big-puppy-watery eyes I could ever manage.I pouted childishly,gripping his front shirt."Please..?"
He hesitated,backing a little.I know that he can never stand my pleadings,and he usually fell easily into my tricky trap."Uh.."Trust him to refuse it.
"Na,Heero.."
"Oh,allright,..I'll make another one!"He sighed.I hugged him,jumping with delight."Yay!Thanks!Thanks!Thanks!"I sat back to watch the television."And make 'em the best one,Hee-chan!"
"I'll make sure it's the worst.."He mumbled as he rummaged through the fridge,searching for another meat.I sat back to watch the news about last night,but it's already changed to weather broadcast.
"Today will be sunny on the district of Area 41-02,though is expected to be a little windy.."I switched it off.No time to watch some stupid weather broadcast that never did became true anyway.I changed my interest into watching Heero instead.
I noticed that Heero is still the worst in cooking department.It's true!When I had first tasted his cooking,it was the last time I ever asked him to cook one.It was totally awful!I shivered at the mere thought of it.Brr..!!!Don't reminds me of it,please.I'd rather leave it alone somewhere far from my memory.Bleirgh.
But this time..Okay,just this time.No more.No,I'm not exaggerating,but..come on.See my point when he asked me which one is pepper?See?Let's just hope that he can cook SOMETHING delicious..though I still did doubt it.
"Na."He put the plate of bacon in front of me.It was not burnt,and it did looked crispy at the edge.Hmm..I poked it,and it moved easily.Whoa..can it be that Heero can finally cook something I can gobble down quickly?
I poked it again,and Heero slapped my hand away harshly."Itai!"
"Don't insult my cooking,and don't play with your food."
"Yes,sir!"I saluted,which he replied with a glare.I cut a slice and tasted it.I munched.
And munched.
Still munching.
It does tastes nice,yet somehow..
I munched again.
Why is it so..hard to be gulped down?
I munched.
It tastes like chewing gum.A very 'chewy' one.I looked at Heero,and found him having the same difficulty of eating it.He kept munching in various ways.Which all is so amusing that I shocked him when I laughed out loud.
He frowned."What?"
I pointed to my mouth,still munching."Are you using a chewing gum recipe?"
"Hn."He spat out the meat."Very funny."
The meat looked all squashy and very..'chewish'.He sighed."Looks like I have to go and buy food,then."He shook his head sadly,uncomb hair sways wildly ontop of his head."I should have never tried to cook."
"Eh?No self-destruction this time?"
A glare.
I laughed again."Okay,okay..hey,who says that you have to go and buy food?"
"..well,there is nothing canned,and you're still sick.."
"Che.I can still cook."
He raised an eyebrow."Uh-yeah,with your arm still wounded and bandaged.."
"And yes,"I raised a finger."I have forgotten about that.Heheheh."
He scoffed."Baka."
"But,.."
"But?"
"I can use you."
He frowned deeply."What are you trying to say?"
"Eh?Che.Being an elite,you sure are slow."I waved the finger."What I mean is,I can tell you how to cook it."
"Oh."
"What 'oh'?"I mocked him,knowing full well that he maybe get the 'wrong' thoughts.I wanted to grin,and yes,I wouldn't mind to 'use' him,but,oh well.Not now anyway.
"Hn."
"Now,let's get to work,shall we?I'm a starving patient."
* * * * *
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I am too damn alone,
You are too damn arrogant;
Oh,tell me god,
By which pass do you make us one?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I walked into my shared room with Heero,not expecting him to be there at all today.He sat there at his usual place,the writing desk with his loveable laptop.His back was facing me,and he seemed to be looking out of the window instead.
It is still raining.
I crossed the room to sit by the window,not really facing him.The window is open,and I could see some star shining faintly from the greyish sky.Tiny and hard droplets of water fell onto my skin,it's coldness making me smile.The winds blew,swaying my hair to the left.I glanced toward Heero.He was looking at me intently.
"What are you looking at?"
"You."
I crossed my arms,interested at why would he be looking at me so openly."..and why is that so?"
"Out of mere interest."
Snorting,I raised an eyebrow at him."Which is..?"
He blinked."Just..you."
"..oh."I nodded."Oh-kay.."
We continued looking out of the window quietly.From afar,I could see the city's colourful lights colouring the dark area,and the beauty it was painting.
"Why aren't you switching on the lights?"I asked after the uneasy pause.
He replied coolly,"To enjoy the night."
"I thought you hated dark?"
"I thought YOU like dark."
"Are we here to talk about what we both likes and dislikes?"
"Hn."
I chuckled."You sure are cute."
He reddened.
"Anyway,"I continued,ignoring his glare."How's the report?"
"Funny you should ask."
"Che,Hee-chan.Bully me again."
"There's another mission.End of this month.Both of us."
I groaned loudly."What you mean is next Friday."
Heero scoffed."I've given you enough time to heal your wound.Don't ask more than you were given."
"Fine,fine.."
I returned back to look out the window.The rain has been going on for a week now.Not that I am complaining.The rain had kept me and the object of my affection crammed in the house together for days.
And I do feel thankful to it.
"Hey,Duo.."Heero started.I turned to face him,all covered by the darkness of the shadow.He didn't seem to mind that I couldn't see him."..you remember about our conversation before?"
I didn't answer him.
"..Duo?"
"Yea-yeah,I do."
The atmosphere became silent again.
"Do you really think so?"
"..mm?"
"That we may not see each other at all,then?"
I looked at his eyes,which became suddenly all gleaming and shining mischieviously in the dark.He still hadn't come out of the shadow.
Smilling a small one,I shrugged."I guess it'll be one."I glanced to his face."What do you think?"
He was silent.But then he stood from his seat,walking toward me.He was smilling."What do you think that I'll think about that?"He sat next to me,leaning at the cool bar of the verandah.I looked up to see him looking at the sky,ever so sad like that.He turned to me."Na,Duo-kun?"
I was speechless.How..what..is he allright tonight?I mean,..is he trying to flirt with me?I blinked."I..you..actually.."I mumbled,still in a daze.How could I not?Here is Heero,my heartache.And he was smilling so sweetly and handsome!Damn I could have fainted.And not to mention those mouth,..how I would have given everything to taste it again.
His turn to chuckle now."It's not like always you could be speechless,Duo.Did I do anything right?"
I pouted."Che."
He chuckled,but then fell silent.He looked up again.Rain fell upon his body,but he did not seem to mind it."But really,what do you think that I will think?"
I grinned."You really wanna know?"
He nodded,still not looking at me.
"Well,"I crossed my hand to the back of my head."I think you'll regret it very much,to not meet me at all.I'm the greatest thing that has ever happen to you,you know?"
With that he swept me up onto my feet,and held me firm to his body.He was smilling,gazing deep into my eyes.I was breathless as I felt him so near.And the way he look down at me like that.."Hee-ro!?"
"So you think that you're the best?"He snorted playfully.
"Che.What are you suggesting?I'm the worst?"
"You could say that."He shrugged.
"Thank you very much.Very insulting."I poked him by the ribs,and he snorted again.
He closed his cobalt eyes,smilling.I wonder what will happen if I take the plunge and kiss him.In the end,I let the intention down.I don't want him to be burdened by the thoughts that I wanted him.I snuggled deeper into his embrace instead,his arms tightening around my slim waist.
For the little while,we just looked over to the city,rain falling over the lights like a silken veil,rhythmatically moving to the tune of the night breeze.The atmosphere is getting colder and mistier by the minutes,but neither one of us noticed it all.In fact,it's kinda comforting while being there,held warmly by his strong arms.
I could stay like this forever,I thought dryly.Heero is very warm,and he did smell nice..
Heero leaned to my shoulder,and once again I found myself choking for air as he breathed slowly into my ear.His breath tickled,and I shivered."Hey,Duo..?"
"Wha..what?"
"Do you think,.."He hesitated,and his grip on me loosening.I gulped.What is it??
"Yeah?"
".."He turned to face me,face a little flushed and troubled."Actually..,"
"What,Heero?"I was getting annoyed.Sure,it's all cute and romantic to see someone you like blushed as if to propose,but right now,I don't think that's the main problem.He looked away,his hands cold against my bare waist."Do you like Relena?"He halted.
I blinked.
Again.
A few times.
Relena?
What the hell..?I shook my head."No,not really."
He was flustered,face tensioned."I thought you two get along really well?"
"Her?"I rolled my eyes."Don't think so,mate.I mean,look at her."
"I did."
"And?"
"Well,"He coughed,his hands wavered lightly at my skin,tingling it."She is kind of nice.."
I frowned,a little puzzled."What are you trying to say?"
"I,..actually,.."
"What,Heero?What is it?"I asked patiently,puzzlement covering my mind.
"She had asked me to stay."
I stared at his flushed face,perfect disbelieving look plastered across my face.
What is this,some kind of a sick joke?Here we are,all ready for the next step like in the sappy movie,a kiss,or maybe a few kisses,and which would then lead to the cold bed across the room,snogging like hell,but whaddaya know?The script has suddenly changed it's story on it's own,turning it from the all-time-slash-tale to everyone favourite jerks comedy show?!Thank you very much.
I blinked again,my hand at his chest slipping away.Heero coughed,and started again."And I was thinking whether,.."I cut his words."Whether you should ask her for her hand in a marriage for the next ten years?"A little too harshly added,I thought,though feeling no sense of saying sorry at all.
It was Heero's time to blink now."What..?"
"Well,if you asked me,"I walked out of his comfortable grasp."I think that's a very good idea."Another harsness that he doesnt seem to notice,"For you to stay."
"Really?"His face lightened up,and it hurts so much to see how much it matters to him if he were to stay or not.I never knew that he wanted her so much.More than he wanted me..dammit!I frowned fiercely,the shadows closing around the space between us as I stepped back,though not too far from him.
"Yeah.Too good.Now that she got you to stay by her side,nothing will matter at all anymore,right?"I was nearly shouting by now,rage filling my head.How could he be saying her name now?!How could he?Doesn't he know that I despises that girl?
"Duo,"Heero tried to reach for my hand,but I slapped it away."What..?"
"Ohoho,don't you know that I hated her?No,wait.I despises her.She's the worst selfish brat that I had ever met."Heero was stunned.He was looking at me with a very shocked face that makes me wanting to laugh out loud."So you don't know yet,eh?Don't you know that she had been stalking us from the first time we met?And she is the reason why we had been ambushed several times before.Thanks for her bird-brain of,"I mocked her ways,a falsetto voice that shivered me."'Kill me,Heero.'"
I laughed,then snapped back to his still disbelieving face."Why didn't you,Heero?Why didn't you kill her in the first place?"
Heero looked down to his bare foot,wet from the rain that is still dampening the floor."I can't."
"Why can't you?"
"I,.."
"Do you like her?"
He hesitated,then nodded.
"Do you want her?"
He didn't nod,nor did he shook his head.
"Do you yearn for her?"
Still nothing.
"..do you love her?"My voice hardened by now,teeth grinding against each other in a very ferocious way.
He moved a little,as if trying to shake his head,but did nothing still.
"Well,what do you feel toward her?"I shouted."What do you feel toward me?"Right now,I didn't care if he knew that I liked him.Loved him.Nothing matters anymore.Nothing.
He glanced sadly to my eyes."Duo,.."
But I was not finished yet."You know what,Heero?I don't care.I never did.Just go.She's probably been re-decorating her bedroom to welcomed you."I stopped,watching as Heero clamped his mouth shut.I smirked,forgetting that this is Heero,the boy that I had always wanted."To her bed,I mean."
Smack.
My cheek is stinging.
Heero had slapped me.
"Don't you dare to say anything like that."He was shaking with such way that surprises me at how angry he was."Ever."With that,he strode angrily out the room,slamming the door as he went.A few moments later,I heard the back door being slammed noisily,rattling the windows and mirror inside the house.
Silence filled the already too quiet room,the darkness giving a little too wonderful eerie effect for the house.I strained my ears to hear if the door will open softly,and if I could hear the sound of Heero's steady breathing,..but I could hear nothing of that.All I can hear is the sound of the rain pounding madly against the roof,it's rhythm deafening.And somehow,the sound of it woke me up to face the reality which I had ben so badly trying to hide away from,realising me that everything is wrong by now.
Heero is gone.
To his 'precious' Relena.
And yet,..who am I to him?
I slumped carelessly onto the damp floor,my hands at my face.Perfect,isn't it?Yes,I am an idiot.My body shook,silent laughters ringing inside my mind.I laughed in a whisper,a ghostly sound that doesn't sound quite right to anyone's ears.Silently,my hair fell softly around my body,it's warmth giving me the comfort of feeling the loss.The silkiness of it felt right,reminding me of the one thing that I should have not forgotten so easily.
Heero is gone.But why should I care?
I shouldn't.
I wouldn't.
I can't.
And yet I did.
Since when I don't anyway?
I laughed softly against my hand,a humourless mirth that threatened to spill out maniacally anytime if I didn't control my numb mind.Fuck it.Hell fucking it.I threw my head back,laughing uncontrollably,possibly not noticing it at all.
Damn Relena and her stupid naiveness.
Damn him.
Damn me.
* * * * *
"Hey,Duo?You home?"Quatre's familiar voice slipped into the darkened room in which I was laying down now.His face poked in,his usual face glowed much more than of the last when I saw him."Duo?"He looked around the room,finally spotting me at the bed."What are you doing there in the dark?"
I scoffed."Playing poker with some imaginary monster.Wanna join me?"
He walked over,shutting the door quietly behind him."Hey,is everything allright?"He sat down to me,his features slowly eaten by the shadows of the night.His blonde hair swayed as the wind swept inside the room,and he looked at me through the bangs.
I turned away from his questioning gaze,the stare penetrating deeper than it looked."No,everyhing's fine."
He thought for a while.I have a feeling that he was going to ask about Heero,but thought better of it.He just nodded."Okay."He beamed widely,then,"I have something to tell you."He then waited for me to ask him,but I'm not in the mood anyway.I looked blankly at the wall,expecting him to just give up and go away.Yes,he is a good friend,but have you ever heard of the word 'Leave me alone?'.
Minutes passed,and he is yet to beam happily next to me.I sighed heavily,tired of seeing him so..giddy."What is it?"
"Trowa and I is now officially a couple."
"Now why doesn't that suprises me?"I yawned.
Quatre went quiet.He looked at me,and although I could say that he could hardly do,is was as if he had this..power to just see me through the darkness.Faintly,he spoke."It's Heero,isn't it?"
I glared."Should he be the reason everytime I'm down?"
"Yes."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah."
Silence.
"Well,he won't be anymore."I replied reluctantly.
Quatre's eyes narrowed."Why shouldn't he?"
Again reluctantly."Off to Relena."
Silence again.
"What did you just do,Duo?"
I was aghast."My,my,I was the one who was left alone,and you agreed that it was my fault?"
"You know it is."
"Hn.As if."
Soft chuckle."Your ego needs a little warning,Duo."
"So?It's mine,and mine on how to use it."
We stayed like that again,silence filling the cold room.Slowly,Quatre stood."Let's just hope that you're as good as your words."He walked out the door,lock slowly clicking back to it's position.And I lay there to process back what he really mean by his last words.
And to which one does he mean by that.
* * * * *
I blinked.
Water.
Falling heavily onto my body.
I looked up,my hand shielding my eyes from the drops that fell swiftly from the 'sky'.
Rain.
Rain?
I looked around.
Everywhere is foggy and mists is covering the place that looked strangely ..familiar.
Where am I?
* * * * *
Everything went well for that day,Wufei was out for the whole week,possibly for a mission,(I don't think he'll go anywhere out the house if not for the orders,really),and Trowa and Quatre is happily snogging each other silly everywhere they think that is quite ..decent.But they do have some brain from doing so in front of me,and I do thank them for that.And Trowa did came to see me at breakfast,nodding solemnly when he knew that Heero has left.And it is still raining.
"So,"I looked over to the still somber looking Trowa."He's gone?"
I nodded."Yeah.Last night."
"What happened?"
"Nothing."I shrugged."The usual."
"Usual fights?"
"Yep."
Trowa stared."The usual means that he will just shoot your ass,not leaving away."
"So?It's not my fault that he wanted to change his way."
"But Duo,"Quatre cut in after a while."He don't usually just walked out the door as if nothing happened."
I chuckled bitterly."'Usually' is a not a very promising word,Quat."
"But really,Heero has more sense than to do just that to-"
"Why did you let him go?"
I glared."What would you like me to do?Declare my undying love to him?"I replied sarcastically,feeling annoyed.What now?Everyone's choosing sides with him?!
"..."Trowa was silent.He didn't reply anything,but to just look at me questioningly.
"Look,"I stood,backing the chair from the table.The jar of milk wavered dangerously from the middle of the table,threatening to fall."Just let it go,'kay?"Quatre started to grasp me firmly at my left hand,trying to held me from going,but I just shook my head to them.I walked out the door,but stopped by the door frame for quite a minute.I turned to look at Trowa and Quatre,an expressionless face that dumbstrucked them;-
"It's not worth it."
* * * * *
++++++++++++++++++++++
I won't be lyin' to anyone,
I won't be lyin' to myself;
And yet you make me cry,
You make me lose faith..
++++++++++++++++++++++
The sun is shining,it's light streaming through the leaves of the tree I was sitting under.It was a Sunday morning,and I was lying on my back at the hill overlooking the sea.A nice view,very exquisite and relaxing.It was a willow tree that I had lied under.A very old looking tree,but very warm and welcoming.Small,icy droplets of water from the greyish clouds fell to the earth,and some onto me.The coldness felt refreshing,especially after this..tiring week.
I sighed.
Friday had left,and I haven't seen Heero at all.Where the hell is he?To tell you the truth,I never knew that he would abandon the mission just like that.I snorted.But much to everyone's surprises,he had asked to be paired with Wufei instead.Damn him.So he think that he could get rid of me that easily,eh?I scoffed.Not at all,pal.This time,it's me whom will get him away from me.
The winds blew,falling a few strands of hair onto my face.I puffed them away,sighing heavily.Yes,I know,it is my fault,..but please?Who wouldn't be mad when their crush started to talk about someone whom irritates you?And best of all,it's Relena he has been talking about.When everything feel too right and promising.
I smirked.Relena.I don't really hate her,but somehow,she has been annoying me with all her preach about pacifism and while she was at that,stalking us.No,I mean stalking Heero.Her brain must have gotten a screw misplaced somewhere,for she never did knew when to shut up and go away.And to think that someone like that is 'loved' by Heero..I shivered,shaking my head at the hideous thought.
Che.I smirked more broadly,wiping the droplets from my face.
Knowing her,I don't think she was kinda full of peace herself.Don't misunderstand,but what I mean is,look at her.She kept telling the wrong words at the wrong time.And after all,everyone respects her just because she has the power from her stepfather and her once-kingdom.Not all can stand her annoying wailing,and she is the kind of person whom will stop at nothing.And yes,it's right and good,yet when it come to the point of irritating people with everything,..
"Beautiful,isn't it?"
I opened my eyes and spotted Wufei leaning at tree,ever so relaxing like that.He was wearing his usual mourning outfit,white throughout.He was not smilling,nor does he seems to be in any mood that I can explain.He glanced back to the sea,dark brown eyes that intrigued me from the first time we met.
I sighed,looking up to the endless sky of pale blue colour.The sun is still shining greatly,it's rays blinding my kornea.I closed my eyes as the sea winds blew again,splashes of seawater and rain wetting my skin.I wanted to forget everything,forget that I had ever liked Heero,forget that I had been turned down everytime I did,forget that I can never be his,nor he to be mine..
I sighed again,letting the air go slowly through my mouth,as if trying to steady myself from the pain the reality is producing.I opened my eyes and gave a startled yell as a pair of brown eyes gazed back into my amethysts.
"Wargh!?"
Wufei jumped back,and his head bumped to the tree's potruding bark,creating a cracking sound that could almost be making me thinking that his skull has splitted open or something.He fell back to the grass,face contorted with the unbearable pain he was having.Wufei rubbed his head,wincing.I snorted.He glared.
"What?"I asked,still quite annoyed of being interrupted by the action."Don't look at me as if I was the one whose doing wrong."
He scoffed."Not that I was doing it."He crossed his arms across his chest,equally annoyed as I am.
"Oh,so I'm the one to blame?"And before he could nod,I continued,"So is it me who had stared so near as someone closes his eyes?Or is it me whom had jumped back and getting hit by the tree?"
Wufei winced a little,but shrugged nonetheless."But it's still your fault to shock me."
I rolled my eyes at him,fighting the urge to snicker."Sure it's mine,d-u- h."
"Allright,I'm sorry."He lay back down to the grass,though still looking at me."It's just that you had been sighing a few times already,and I had a feeling that maybe you were sick or something."
Yeah,of course I am,I thought quietly.I'm sick of feeling guilty and lonely.
He asked after a while,"So?Anything I can help?"
I raised an eyebrow at the sudden question."Aa,so honorable Chang Wufei had now wanted to help someone as irritating as Duo Maxwell?"The truth is,Wufei had more than few times called me an irritating brat,and very unforgivable as I had done too many pranks to him.Not that he ever really get downright thruthfully angry anyway.
He looked away."Che.Fine."
We lied down on the grass next to each other,gazing thoughtfully toward the neverending sky that saddened me.A bunch of clouds strayed in front of the sun,shielding us from the afternoon blinding light.The atmosphere started to be a little colder as the wind blew a little bit rougher than before.The rain poured heavier,and the sky turned greyish pale,a colour making me feel all more too depressed.
"Hey,Duo."
"What?"
"So what really did happen to you and Yuy?"'
I stared at him,but he doesn't seem to be looking at me.That was weird.He never called Heero 'Yuy' before."So,he's not Heero anymore?"
Wufei glanced toward me,rolling his eyes."Just answer me,Maxwell.Never mind on whether I wanted to call anyone by their surnames or not."
Snorting."Why should you care?You'll probably happy that he would've chopped off my head right there and then."
He gazed deep into my eyes,eyes betraying nothing at all.Then he turned to look away."I shouldn't,I know."He nodded before replying,"Just out of curiosity,actually.Forgive me if I had stepped over the border between your nerves."
I was surprised by then.Very.It's not like always that he would just say that he was wrong and sorry.I smiled cheekily to his apologizeness."Nah,'s kay.It's nothing at all."
"So,mind to tell me?"
"I thought you said that you shouldn't be asking that?"
His face flushed."Sorry.I never thought that I could be so noisy."
I laughed,startling him as I did."No,I mean,"I said between gasps for breath."You're so cute,you know that?"
Wufei snorted.I grinned."Let's just say that I had said the wrong things at the wrong time,na?"
He shrugged.
Silence rang through the atmosphere,all too aware that I have no mood to enjoy the calming scenery around me.How can I,when all the while all I can think about is only about him,and why had I been such an ass to ever let him go right under my nose.The rain is wetting my hair,and I released it slowly from it's tormenting hell of being tied.
I ran my hand through,feeling the silkiness and softness it was having due to being combed more than I usually did.When he was here,I never could have combed it.It's always Heero that did it for me,saying gruffly that he only had nothing better to do,other than to keep my mouth shut.I sighed.Wish I should have never let him do that,really.Now I miss to feel the way someone carresses my head..
"You could get a cold,you know."
Snapping open my eyes,I saw that Wufei is still lying there on his back beside me,staring."What?"
"Staying here in the rain."
"So?"I shrugged."I like rain.And despises it,too."
Silence again,then,"..I understand the feeling."
I played with my damp hair,twirling the end around with my index finger."Whatever do you mean?"
"..To have rain is a blessing,"He looked away."..not to mention the loneliness it was producing,..as the world suddenly became all too quiet,cold and somewhat solitary in one's mind."
He blinked,and continued,still looking away.Silently I studied him."Everywhere will became so peaceful,though rather being mixed up with a sense of disturbance,hatred,..and you couldn't help but to gaze sadly into the flawless sky,seeking for whatever one's wish,"He closed his eyes,and I looked up to the still raining sky,ashamed to be inside his private thoughts."..only to find nothing else in return to that hope,and everything falls apart,where you will find yourself again in this secluded world,seeking for answers and found none."
He sighed,as if sadly when he clasped his lips tighter together."You've given everything,anything at all,..only to get nothing in return."He went quiet after whispering,"Nothing."
"Wufei,.."
Wufei didn't reply.He lay there,unmoving except when he breathes.The chest fall graciously up and down,the wet white garment he was wearing revealing a very tanned skin underneath.I breathed deeply.He looked very,..fragile and delicate as he did.The lips parted slightly,and the droplets fell softly on it,as if giving the owner a symphaty he deserves.I shifted closer,breaths mingling with his as I moved closer to his face,a tanned and yellowish skin that glistened with the rain.
I blinked,mind completely blurred by my next action.I don't know why,but somehow,..at this exact time,I just wanted to..
"Duo!?"
Dark brown eyes looked back at me,surprise flashing across it before gently closing again.But I didn't care.He responded eagerly against my mouth,wrapping his wetly cladded hands around my back.His tongue met mine,and danced together with it's melodramatic rhymes.
I tinted him back to the damp earth,a hand clasped around his front buttons,fumbling with it.Wufei slid his hand to the insides of my white shirt,now drenched with rain and mud.I thrust my tongue deeper into his wet mouth,and heard him moaning.I threw away his shirt,breaking the kiss.Staring deeply into his puzzled eyes,I shred open the rest of his clothes,and mine.
I don't care.Wufei threw me down,he himself making a way up ontop of my body.The rain poured heavier suddenly,but both of us ignored it.I could hear the thunder rolling somewhere near,but decided to be deaf about it.I grabbed his by the face toward me,kissing his lips fiercely,adrenalines blazed through my blood stream.The feeling is making me dizzy,but I shrugged it off as Wufei replied the arousing gesture to everywhere he can reach.
I don't care.Honestly,I thought as our wet body moved together,..I just wanted to taste him.I closed my eyes as his kisses went further down to where all my aching were constracted.I just wanna taste him,I thought again,as his lips clamped deliciously near my throbbing pleasure,teasing my patience.
"I want you."I gasped between the feeling of rage and emptiness,holding him rigid by his shoulder.
Nodding,Wufei kissed me deeply,gazing sadly into my eyes as he readied himself at my entrance."No,"He thrusted inside,and all I can feel is definite pain with a touch of pleasure along with it."No you don't."And he grinded himself into me,moving with a special rhythm that swooned my mind.
But I didn't hear anything more,I was too warped up by the sensations to even notice a voice in the back of my head weeping slowly.Too late.Everything is.Over.
Just do it,I commanded my protesting mind.[1]
No!
Do it!My mind swam further from reality as the pleasure felt altogether too overwhelming to be kept inside.I cried his name as I came,blacking out.[2]
...
And forgot everything.
-Owari-
* * * * *
[1] Don't ask me what doing 'it' is.
[2] And don't ask me who is 'he'.I'll let it to your imagination,eh?
Author's mumblings: Yes,I am sooo.. bad.But hey,Who am I to be blamed?I never even thought that the story will end up being this way at all. *ducking the stares readers giving* O-kay,so I don't.At first,I wanted Heero and Duo to be together,but.. *shrugging* Guess it won't,then.But don't worry,though.There's always time for a sequel,eh?And I didn't even in the slightest say (or is it write?) that Wufei and Duo did get along as a couple.But I didn't say no either! Muwahahahahahahahahaha!!! *getting hit by readers' stuff* Itai-yo!! *Rubbing her sore head* Damn,must you do that? *Readers: Nodding2* Oh-allright!!Just wait for the sequel!I won't say no more. *Flying off into the darkness with Draco and Harry tucked inside the bag of Quidditch supplies behind her.*
P/s:- I know that maybe some of the parts were sooooooo OOC,but I just don't know how else am I to write the story and create the plot?Don't ask how come Heero can cry.Oh,and to tell you the truth,Heero slapped Duo 'cause to him,Relena is such a kind,lovable person whom he 'adores' (trembles with cold sweats).That's why he was kinda insulted when Duo 'tells' all the crap about her,na?Any other doubts whatsoever,mail me!!O- yea..Ame(2) is coming up next year..matte,ne?
Alexq-16/7/2003(+_____-;;;)
Pairing: 1x2x1=3..hwaiergh? *coughs* I mean,1+2+1..*innocent look*
Feedbacks: Goodie2!Yes,yes,YES!!
Warning: ..mild yaoi scenes..maybe some language(I can't remember)
Disclaimer: I do not,repeat,do not,own any of these characters mentioned inside this fic.Spare me from the pain of remembering it,onegai?
Notes: This is my fourth attempt to write a yaoi GW fics,all the others are still in progress,series if I must tell you.Damn but I think this is the best one yet.Not to say that the othes are a complete failure,though I'm still re-writing it to make it better.And I'm thinking to make a HP fic,..maybe I'll write,maybe not. *shrugging* It really did up to this fic.If it's okay,then I will.If it is not,.. *sweatsdrop*
Duo: Skip the lectures,dammit.People want actions here!
=X__X='' Fine2,..onwards!
~~~
Ame..(1)-Confusion of the Hearts-
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
'For love we kill
For love we die
We do everything for love
And yet where does it lie?'
L.S.Max-Darkness in Our Heart
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I had no choice but to run away.I know that it was wrong,it was very stupid to do so,but somehow,if sacrificing myself is not,..I still would have...,life had never did anything important to me.Except to take away the precious lives in whom I loves dearly.And yet,I didn't dare to curse to the Almighty.I can't.I won't.No matter what happens.
I ran,ignoring the screams of warnings and bullets firing around.As I did,rain started to pour down,washing away the mud and blood from which the wound at my arm bled.
"Duo.."
The rain poured heavier,and I remembered him.He who is the only reason why had I really wanted to go on with my life.He whom the only boy I conceded my devotion,though secretly,to.I smiled,dodging another bullet that appeared out of nowhere from my left.I ran to the side,replying the gesture all the same;a bullet.
I aimed to a moving object behind me,shooting toward his heart.A groan echoed,and I turned to run again.More footsteps from behind followed,and I commanded my feet to run faster.The icy rain dampened my priest's costume,making it all more harder to flee from the incoming dangers.Knowing the consenquences,I dragged my body in force to safety,desperate for help.
"Duo,..what will happen if this war never existed?"
His voice.The usually cold and emotionless sound had suddenly turned warm and with such thought that saddened me went through my mind.It was of the unfinished conversation in which we had the night before.He never did showed so much emotion before.He never did.But now..
"Then we will never meet each other at all,na,Hee-chan?"
Icy cold wind blew,slapping me hard at the face along with the cruel rain.Both seems to as if trying to calm me down from the warm thoughts of my best friend.My secret heartache.Heero Yuy.The impossible soldier.
My answer rang again and again inside my head,and his smilling boyish face flashed through to warm my shivering body.I smiled to the memories.He ever did has a childish face,naivete flashing once in a while behind those indestructable mask.The mask that he had rarely put down.And how he looked when he did,it was a miracle when I did managed not to jump onto him right there and then.As the memories did flashes by,a bullet went past my face,waking me up from the memory of him.
I was annoyed.Damn who did that!Reaching for my gun,I turned around to face my opponent.And what saw is almost making me laughing out loud.The so- called-'opponent' is actually Heero,draped in his usual green sweatshirt and biking shorts.The rain is still pouring,and his face glistened from the water that fell.Amazingly enough,his hair is still stubbornly standing out despite the heavy fall of the waters from the sky.And that did reminds me of its owner's attitude,strong-willed and very stubborn.Standing like that,he looks like as if he had been there for quite a long time.I ran to him.
"Why would have you do that for?Trying to kill me!?"I screamed to his face,the rain deafening our hearing.
"Hn.If I didn't,you would have."He gestured at about 15 foot forward,where there lay an Oz-wearing-uniformed soldier,all drenched in a pool of blood.
I glomped onto him."You're rescuing me!Hee-chan!!How sweet!"
Heero pushed me away,"Hn,"-ing,his face reddened by as he did.After a while,he reached for me,still flushing red."Let's go back to the safe house."
Nodding,I leaned my head onto his broad shoulders,my legs weakening by seconds.Quite funny though,the rain is really,really making me sleepy..wonder what did they put inside those bullets.
"Hey,Duo?"
"..mm..?"
"Look at me."He demanded so suddenly.
I tried to pry open my eyes,but couldn't.It felt as if my eyelids are glued close to each other,with no intention of being open.
"Duo?"I could feel Heero shaking me,but I couldn't even move a muscle.
"Wake up!"
I still can't.
"Duo!!"
Warm darkness beckoned,and eagerly,I went.
* * * * *
Cold.
That was the first thing that came into my mind as I stood there,shivering in the black surroundings.I looked around,and saw nothing except for the fog that covers the area.I walked forward,a step at a time.
There was nothing here nor there.Why?
...
I hate this dream.
...
I always did.
...
I thought it had stopped since I joined in the group with the other pilots.So why?
...
Yet now..
Why does it have to come back?
* * * * *
When I woke up,the first thing that I saw is his face,hovering worriedly as he stares deep into my amethyst eyes.
"Duo?"He stopped,wiping the bangs from my forehead."You okay?"
I grinned."For now,yeah."
"Good."He smiled."I was worried."
Grinning broadly,I continued."Finally you were."
"Hn."
I sat,leaning to the cold wall behind me.The bed I was lying on is nothing but a small single sized,pretty warm but a little uncomfortable for it was already too worn out by years.The blanket is wide,cotton and very smooth on the sides.I wrapped it around myself,releasing my hair from it's damp braid.
Heero handed me a glass of hot chocolate in which I gulped down happily.I was very hungry due to the sleep,you know?Then he handed me a bar of chocolate.I look at him puzzled.I never thought that the house is equipped with any chocolates.Besides,the house is abandoned for quite a time,as Quatre had informed us.
Knowing my puzzled look,Heero grunted an answer."I'd always had one with me when we had a mission.For emergencies."He snorted."Knew you would regain your strength with that.So that you wouldn't fall asleep so suddenly like before."
Silence.
Suddenly smilling,he looked at me with those adorable prussian blue eyes."I know you like it so much that you wouldn't even consider falling asleep,right?Saves me from worrying much."He added cheekily,"But then,you owes me."
I was thrilled.Very.In all my life I had known him,I never thought that he cared for me so much.I never even did thought that he cared for me at all."Che.Suddenly so romantic,Hee-chan?"I teased,could hardly stopping myself from hugging him right there and then.
"So what would you like for the reward?"
He just smiled that wonderful smile of his."We'll see."
Looking around the dimly lit room,I noticed that the rain is still pouring heavily outside.And I could hear some thunders roaring noisily somewhere near.Clenching the blanket nearer,I tried to move to the side,but stopped when a certain pain at my left arm felt all too unbearable."Itai!"
"Careful!"He held me to him,examining the bandage at my arm.All the while he did,I felt my cheeks burning as I could feel him so near.I even could smell his fragrance,his favourite vanilla flavoured coffee and gundanium magnum bullets.I coughed to ease the embarassing thoughts that was threatening to appear.There is no way I could stay sane dreaming about him while being wrapped around in his arms.
I glanced to my wounded left arm.The bandage was perfectly done,which did not give me any wonder.Why should it?He is the perfect soldier.Everything about him is.Perfect.But I wouldn't dare to say that it was that attracted me to him.
It never is nor it will ever be.
He tightened the bandage."I've already taken out the bullets,but it will still hurt.They've used gundanium this time."
"Wha..gundanium?"I winced.Gundanium is actually the most perfect alloy in our era,the most powerful contents that is even used to make all five gundams,our fighting machine of destruction.And very undestructable."Someone's getting smarter."
He patted the bandaged arm."And they've covered it with a few sleeping oils,so best if you just continue to rest and sleep before it turns to poison."
I scratched my chin,my head tinted to the side to face him."Whaddaya mean?"
He snorted again as if to call me an idiot."It means,it actually will turn to poison if you didn't sleep."
I wailed."Of course I know that!But what does it really mean?!"
Snorts."Use your head,Duo.When you're in a battle,of course you won't fall asleep no matter what happens,right?"He looked at me with a-matter-of- factly look.
Nodding,I surpress an "Uh-huh,uh-huh."
"So,when you don't have the sleep,"He continued patiently,"the chemical will then changed into poison,spreading thorough the blood veins in no time.It's reacting due to the body's action.Though,"He shrugged."it's a good thing you did fell asleep."
"Yappari!I always knew it when to save my butt,na,Hee-chan?"
"Hn."He rolled his eyes."Just don't move around too much."Heero got up from his chair,walking toward the door at the end of the room."And sleep."
"Hey,..where ya goin'?"I yawned,suddenly feeling sleepy again.
"Write report."He looked back to face me."You did finished the mission,though."He left.
I blinked.How can I finish it while all time before this,..I was running away from it?And my gundam,Deathsythe is still in repair.And I did fell asleep,didn't I?
Or maybe,..
..Heero!
I grinned.Why that boy..he really did finished the mission for me.Way too cool.So he went back to the base and destroyed it for me."..Hn."
He really is unpredictable.Always.Especially nowadays.Like,when I did something that usually makes him glaring death at me,he looked at me in a thought instead.And when he should have been annoyed when I messed up a mission,he took care of me first,then told me to go back and finishes it.Plain weird.
Even Quatre,Wufei and the often quiet Trowa voices their puzzlement.
...
I just hoped that he wouldn't know that I had a crush on him.No,I shuddered.Let's just hope not.
Rolling to the side,I covered myself with the warm blanket and drifted off to sleep.
* * * * *
I wandered slowly inside the darkness,hands trying to reach for anything at all.I walked on,feeling numb from the coldness the darkness is producing.I had nothing on with me to keep me warm.While still walking aimlessly,I tripped and fell into something watery.
I closed my eyes.
It's warm.
I have fallen into a pool.
And the smell,no,taste is very recognizable.
Blood.
I tried to swam out,but found out that something is dragging me deeper.There is something that is holding me at the legs.
I tried to scream,but that is only making the foul-smelling liquid entering my lungs.I struggled,yet it still hadn't loosened it's grip.The 'thing' gripped me more tightly,and I reached for it to pushed it away.As my hands grasped at it,I stilled at the obvious feeling of knowing what it was.
It felt like hands.
Many hands.
Too many.
I screamed,and the hands dragged me deeper..
* * * * *
"Duo!Wake up!"
'Smack!'
A very hard slap.
I opened my eyes,and again,I saw Heero hovering above me.He was sweating,and he looked very panicked.My cheeks is stinging.
"Hee..Heero?"
He sighed heavily,climbing off me.He sat next to me instead.For quite a long time,he was very quiet.And it kinda scares me.It's not like always that he would be this..kind of 'quiet'.When he did talk,he was very serious.
"What happened?"
"..what did happen?"I asked back.
He looked at me.No,he stared."I heard you screaming from next door.And you were choking like mad."
I didn't say anything.
Silence fell around the room.And I could still hear the rain that is still pouring outside.My long hair fell around my face,as if trying to shield me from those somber looking cobalt blue eyes.I didn't try to tuck it to my ears,because I know that by doing so,I will have to face Heero.I sat there quietly,looking downwards to my clenching hands.
I couldn't tell him.I can't.It's not anything,it's ..everything.I don't want him to be worried,which is the last thing I will ever think he would do anyway.I just..just.My dream is mine,and is mine alone to face.I don't need him to makes matter worse that when he know,I don't need him to be there each time something went wrong,I don't need him at all.
I want him.Nothing else.Only that.
Is it..?
Slowly I felt my hair being lifted away from my face and being tucked to my ears,cold fingers brushing my tingling skin.And then I saw it.
The eyes of a boy whom I have fallen in love with.The eyes that saw straight through me.Through everything I tried to bury deep from everyone.I breathed in his fragrance,enjoying the fresh smell of Heero.
..I was really drowning now.
Drowning inside those endless pool of prussian glassy eyes.Heero shifted closer until we were almost nose to nose.And I could see that he was very tired.There were dark rings under his eyes,each betraying the feeling of caring toward me whom had been stuck with him for a time that felt like forever.
I breathed his name."Hee-chan?"
He caressed my still-stinging cheek,looking sad with eyes full of regrets."I'm sorry."
And he kissed me.
My eyes widened,and my body stiffened at the abrupt action of his.He kissed me softly,as if fearing that he would hurt me if he didn't.It was a very innocent kiss,a childish one.Only lips touching tenderly,nothing else.But I ..I want more.Not just this.Just,..more.
His lips moved slowly against mine,locked together against one another in a simplicy that I never knew existed.The curve of our lips curved perfectly with the line,soft and wet.From the kiss,I knew that Heero is unexperienced,he was moving against me with such act of innocence,so pure and..tender.
I closed my eyes,accepting his way of apology.Leaning back to the bed,I wrapped my hands around him,holding him closer.
With those words,I kissed him back.He was startled,I could sense it,but relaxed immedietly as I caressed his neck lovingly.Very oh so slowly,I flicked my tongue to his lips,meeting his teeth instead,demanding access to his sweet mouth.Heero gasped as I entered his wet mouth,teasing his shy tongue for a response.But after a moment of stiffness,all the shyness disappeared,leaving behind a bolder feeling boy whom had tasted only the quarter side of heaven.
..Heero..
I wanted more,more than just a kiss,more than I knew he could give,..Would give.And yes,I don't only mean sex.No,it's not just sex.I don't mind about that now,though all the hormones in my body protested to being ignored.I know that I shouldn't reacted so eagerly,in which will resulted of him being scared of all these new feeling and emotion that I knew he never experienced before.
..Heero..
He is only a child behind those gorgeous body of a fifteen years old.Of course I know.The problem is,he's the one whose being passive.I ran my hand up and down his neck,shivering him as I lightly stroked his back.In response to that teasing,he plunged his irristibly sweet tongue down my mouth,expecting me to join him in the dare.
I did.I touched mine to him,and moaned as he,though rather expertly toyed with his tongue.Damn him,I thought.He's a hell of a kisser.And for that I am very glad to be his first to be experimented on his newly-found skill.Our tongue danced around for the little while,and neither one of us minded much.
"Mmm,.."
Very slowly,he ended the kiss.I looked up to him,and found him smilling ever so handsome like that.I smiled back,still not letting him out of my embrace.
"Duo?"
"..yep?"
"..thank you."
I was surprised."..?" Why is he thanking me?
"Thank you for kissing me back."
Tears.
Tears is falling onto my face.At first I thought that it was me who is crying,but then I saw Heero biting his lips,tears falling gracefully from his cheek onto my face.I could see him trying very hard not to cry,trying very hard to stop the tears,..but failing to do so.
"..Hee-chan?"
He sobbed,moving off from me,but I held him still.He looked away,as if ashamed of himself to let me see him cry.But I hugged him closer,his tears wetting my face.But I don't think I care anyway.It's nothing.What is important now is that,..Heero..sad.I felt my heart shattered into pieces to see him like this.
"..now,now,..shh,..I'm here,don't worry,I'm here.."I murmured these words to him,rocking him back and forth."..there,there..Daijoubu,Heero.I'm here.I'm always here."
Heero looked at me with those eyes of a very heart-broken little boy,still trying hard not to cry.But as I said those words,he wrapped is hands to me,hugging me very tightly.He cried,such cries that pierced my heart to the root.He never acted like this before,it was slightly a little alarming.Calmly,I caressed his silky hair,still having no intention of letting him go.
For a long time,we didn't do anything at all,except him sobbing in my embrace,and me trying to calm his sobs.And then,his crying subsided.I wiped the bangs from his face,looking through it to see him.
"Hee-chan?"
He had fallen asleep.
I smiled alone.He looks so cute like that,face flushed red and lips opened slightly from the exhaustion.
...
Heero Yuy.
...
He always is a wonder to me.He never talked about his life since he was a kid,never mentioned it at all.All that I know about him is only that he was raised by some guy called Odin Lowe,and was trained to be the most perfect killing machine.And not to mention Doctor J.That old man really did give me the creeps.Well,all the doctors did.
When he did tell me that,I felt like killing that guy.Who does he think he is,destroying an innocent boy's little world since small and turning him into a killer?God,I never thought that any human could be that selfish.Poor Heero.I never even knew that anyone could be that..alone.
I smiled again.Who am I kidding?Both of us is the same,actually.We were orphans,we never knew who our parents are,..and both of us is just one of those people who tried to hide behind the masks.Mine as the joker,while his as the grim one.And he never could smile nor laugh before I met him.
I did ask him about that,but he only said that he was not supposed to.He was trained not to have any normal emotions that everyone would have.That makes me even angrier.Odin is a bastard.And do include the bastard J in,too.Damn him for making Heero as he is now.My poor Heero.I grinned.
'My'?
I sighed slowly,head resting against the headboard.Heero's head was resting onto my chest,eyes closed shut,and body heaved up and down quietly as he breathed.I caressed his silky dark hair,planting a small kiss onto his forehead.He sighed quietly for that,snuggling deeper into my arms.In return for that cute gesture,I hugged him tightly.I sighed again.
Life is not fair.No,wait.It never did.If it is,then we would never have to fight this war.We would still be living happily with our families.We would be happy,and never even knew the word 'death'.Nor the word 'suffering'.We would all be full of life.
..yet again,will it be all that wonderful?
If this war never existed,then I may never meet Heero.If it never did,then I will never understand the word 'survival'.
And trust.
And friendship.
If it never did,I can never meet Father Maxwell and Sister Helen.And Solo.Them who I cared for most.Once.If it never did,..I can never understand the reality anymore.
..and because of this war,I lost them.
Father Maxwell.
Sister Helen.
Solo.
The one who had kindly brought me up from the streets when no one wanted to.The one whom I can really call a family.The one in this world who really did love me.And the one whom I really did love back dearly.
And the three of them is gone now.
And even though they said that it was never mine,it is.It is because of me that they will never be able to breath in this world anymore.It is all my fault they had died.If I hadn't go and steal the gundam,the alliance will never come and attack the church where all those rebels stayed.If I was to be more quick,Solo and the others wouldn't have been affected by the virus.If only..
If only.
Cold liquids touched my cheek.
Tears.
Mine.
My eyes are watery.I was crying.How could I not?They will never come back to life.And I am all alone in this cruel world now.I smiled.'Cruel'?Since when had I been so poetic?Yet again,forgetting that pain is what I had lived for,..
I closed my eyes with a quiet agony,whimpering as the pain in my chest felt all too unbearable to hold onto.
..who is there to love me back after all my sins?
* * * * *
I was drowning.
And yet I could see.
I could breath.
Why?
I swam inside this red coloured liquid pool,seeing nothing at all except reds.
There is no more hands now.
Why?
In the previous dreams,they were not there either.But why had it suddenly appeared before this?
Is it a sign?
...
I missed someone here.
There is a certain feeling of loss inside this dream.
The question is,..
..who?
...
* * * * *
"Heero..?"
I woke up this time to find him gone.Where is he?I looked around,and the sun is shining through the window.And it is still raining outside.The door is open,and I could hear the clicking of aluminium cutleries from the kitchen.I stretched,waking my numb body from it's slumber.
There is a smell of coffee in the air,and I stood although weakly from the bed.I walked to the door,and saw Heero's back facing me.He was cooking something that smelled like bacon.He must have a six sense;because when I did stand there for a second,he turned to face me and grunted,"Breakfast's almost ready."
"Great!"I walked into the kitchen."I'm starving like hell!"
"Hn."
I sat at the wooden chair,facing the television.It was on,and it was airing the news.I turned the volume louder.
"Last night,the army base at section Area 0-15 is burned up by flames."The red-haired woman in the television spoke."Cause is unknown,and Liutenant Kays Castanian believed that it was done by the rebels,the famous and still mysterious gundam groups that usually attacks alone."
I glanced to Heero,but he is still in confusion of which one is the bottle of sugar or salt.I returned watching the news.It was showing the army base that is still smoking black air,everything burning to ashes.Nice work,I praised Heero quietly.
The woman continued when her face appeared,"People surrounding the place ought to be careful,he said,for it is most possible that they are still around.Citizens that found anyone suspicious can call this number,1009- 834.."
"Duo,which one is pepper?"Heero shoved two bottles of salt and sugar under my nose.I grinned."I thought you were looking for salt."
He looked puzzled."Eh?"
"Never mind.Oh,and by the way,the pepper is there."I pointed to a white bottle at the end of the cupboard."This one here is salt and sugar."
".."He was speechless,and flushed red with embarrassment.I laughed heartily."Hn."He continued."You could have been more kind."
I showed my tongue playfully."Knowing me,you know I'm not like that."
"Hn."He glared.I laughed harder at him.Finally,he did glare at me after all these times.I was starting to somewhat misses the sexiness.I snorted to threw the erotic image away,startling him.
"Hey,.."I sniffed in after a while."..did you smell something?"
His face changes,paling.He ran to the stove."Ch'kuso!"The meat is burnt black.I glanced from his drooping shoulder."I thought you like medium done?"
He glared."Urusei!"He scooped the meat out onto a plate and handed it to me."Since you like well-done,YOU eat it."
My mouth is opened widely."Wha..?Hey!No fair.You eat it since you're the one who cooked it!"
"But I thought you said you like well-done?And it is crispy.."
"Way TOO crispy,you mean."
Pouting,I crossed my arm.How could he gave me that..thing?I poked the sizzling meat,still smoking.It did not budge,but only to sizzles more.I shuddered."I'm a sick boy!How can you expect me to eat..that?"
"But I only like medium done..?"He returned sarcasticly.
"Don't care!Then make for me another one.."I whined.
"No.Don't waste food."
"But.."
"No."He curtly cut in.
Uh-oh.This is bad,once Heero says so,he seldomly changes it.I have to act.Fast!I looked up at him with the most innocent,shiny,big-puppy-watery eyes I could ever manage.I pouted childishly,gripping his front shirt."Please..?"
He hesitated,backing a little.I know that he can never stand my pleadings,and he usually fell easily into my tricky trap."Uh.."Trust him to refuse it.
"Na,Heero.."
"Oh,allright,..I'll make another one!"He sighed.I hugged him,jumping with delight."Yay!Thanks!Thanks!Thanks!"I sat back to watch the television."And make 'em the best one,Hee-chan!"
"I'll make sure it's the worst.."He mumbled as he rummaged through the fridge,searching for another meat.I sat back to watch the news about last night,but it's already changed to weather broadcast.
"Today will be sunny on the district of Area 41-02,though is expected to be a little windy.."I switched it off.No time to watch some stupid weather broadcast that never did became true anyway.I changed my interest into watching Heero instead.
I noticed that Heero is still the worst in cooking department.It's true!When I had first tasted his cooking,it was the last time I ever asked him to cook one.It was totally awful!I shivered at the mere thought of it.Brr..!!!Don't reminds me of it,please.I'd rather leave it alone somewhere far from my memory.Bleirgh.
But this time..Okay,just this time.No more.No,I'm not exaggerating,but..come on.See my point when he asked me which one is pepper?See?Let's just hope that he can cook SOMETHING delicious..though I still did doubt it.
"Na."He put the plate of bacon in front of me.It was not burnt,and it did looked crispy at the edge.Hmm..I poked it,and it moved easily.Whoa..can it be that Heero can finally cook something I can gobble down quickly?
I poked it again,and Heero slapped my hand away harshly."Itai!"
"Don't insult my cooking,and don't play with your food."
"Yes,sir!"I saluted,which he replied with a glare.I cut a slice and tasted it.I munched.
And munched.
Still munching.
It does tastes nice,yet somehow..
I munched again.
Why is it so..hard to be gulped down?
I munched.
It tastes like chewing gum.A very 'chewy' one.I looked at Heero,and found him having the same difficulty of eating it.He kept munching in various ways.Which all is so amusing that I shocked him when I laughed out loud.
He frowned."What?"
I pointed to my mouth,still munching."Are you using a chewing gum recipe?"
"Hn."He spat out the meat."Very funny."
The meat looked all squashy and very..'chewish'.He sighed."Looks like I have to go and buy food,then."He shook his head sadly,uncomb hair sways wildly ontop of his head."I should have never tried to cook."
"Eh?No self-destruction this time?"
A glare.
I laughed again."Okay,okay..hey,who says that you have to go and buy food?"
"..well,there is nothing canned,and you're still sick.."
"Che.I can still cook."
He raised an eyebrow."Uh-yeah,with your arm still wounded and bandaged.."
"And yes,"I raised a finger."I have forgotten about that.Heheheh."
He scoffed."Baka."
"But,.."
"But?"
"I can use you."
He frowned deeply."What are you trying to say?"
"Eh?Che.Being an elite,you sure are slow."I waved the finger."What I mean is,I can tell you how to cook it."
"Oh."
"What 'oh'?"I mocked him,knowing full well that he maybe get the 'wrong' thoughts.I wanted to grin,and yes,I wouldn't mind to 'use' him,but,oh well.Not now anyway.
"Hn."
"Now,let's get to work,shall we?I'm a starving patient."
* * * * *
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I am too damn alone,
You are too damn arrogant;
Oh,tell me god,
By which pass do you make us one?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I walked into my shared room with Heero,not expecting him to be there at all today.He sat there at his usual place,the writing desk with his loveable laptop.His back was facing me,and he seemed to be looking out of the window instead.
It is still raining.
I crossed the room to sit by the window,not really facing him.The window is open,and I could see some star shining faintly from the greyish sky.Tiny and hard droplets of water fell onto my skin,it's coldness making me smile.The winds blew,swaying my hair to the left.I glanced toward Heero.He was looking at me intently.
"What are you looking at?"
"You."
I crossed my arms,interested at why would he be looking at me so openly."..and why is that so?"
"Out of mere interest."
Snorting,I raised an eyebrow at him."Which is..?"
He blinked."Just..you."
"..oh."I nodded."Oh-kay.."
We continued looking out of the window quietly.From afar,I could see the city's colourful lights colouring the dark area,and the beauty it was painting.
"Why aren't you switching on the lights?"I asked after the uneasy pause.
He replied coolly,"To enjoy the night."
"I thought you hated dark?"
"I thought YOU like dark."
"Are we here to talk about what we both likes and dislikes?"
"Hn."
I chuckled."You sure are cute."
He reddened.
"Anyway,"I continued,ignoring his glare."How's the report?"
"Funny you should ask."
"Che,Hee-chan.Bully me again."
"There's another mission.End of this month.Both of us."
I groaned loudly."What you mean is next Friday."
Heero scoffed."I've given you enough time to heal your wound.Don't ask more than you were given."
"Fine,fine.."
I returned back to look out the window.The rain has been going on for a week now.Not that I am complaining.The rain had kept me and the object of my affection crammed in the house together for days.
And I do feel thankful to it.
"Hey,Duo.."Heero started.I turned to face him,all covered by the darkness of the shadow.He didn't seem to mind that I couldn't see him."..you remember about our conversation before?"
I didn't answer him.
"..Duo?"
"Yea-yeah,I do."
The atmosphere became silent again.
"Do you really think so?"
"..mm?"
"That we may not see each other at all,then?"
I looked at his eyes,which became suddenly all gleaming and shining mischieviously in the dark.He still hadn't come out of the shadow.
Smilling a small one,I shrugged."I guess it'll be one."I glanced to his face."What do you think?"
He was silent.But then he stood from his seat,walking toward me.He was smilling."What do you think that I'll think about that?"He sat next to me,leaning at the cool bar of the verandah.I looked up to see him looking at the sky,ever so sad like that.He turned to me."Na,Duo-kun?"
I was speechless.How..what..is he allright tonight?I mean,..is he trying to flirt with me?I blinked."I..you..actually.."I mumbled,still in a daze.How could I not?Here is Heero,my heartache.And he was smilling so sweetly and handsome!Damn I could have fainted.And not to mention those mouth,..how I would have given everything to taste it again.
His turn to chuckle now."It's not like always you could be speechless,Duo.Did I do anything right?"
I pouted."Che."
He chuckled,but then fell silent.He looked up again.Rain fell upon his body,but he did not seem to mind it."But really,what do you think that I will think?"
I grinned."You really wanna know?"
He nodded,still not looking at me.
"Well,"I crossed my hand to the back of my head."I think you'll regret it very much,to not meet me at all.I'm the greatest thing that has ever happen to you,you know?"
With that he swept me up onto my feet,and held me firm to his body.He was smilling,gazing deep into my eyes.I was breathless as I felt him so near.And the way he look down at me like that.."Hee-ro!?"
"So you think that you're the best?"He snorted playfully.
"Che.What are you suggesting?I'm the worst?"
"You could say that."He shrugged.
"Thank you very much.Very insulting."I poked him by the ribs,and he snorted again.
He closed his cobalt eyes,smilling.I wonder what will happen if I take the plunge and kiss him.In the end,I let the intention down.I don't want him to be burdened by the thoughts that I wanted him.I snuggled deeper into his embrace instead,his arms tightening around my slim waist.
For the little while,we just looked over to the city,rain falling over the lights like a silken veil,rhythmatically moving to the tune of the night breeze.The atmosphere is getting colder and mistier by the minutes,but neither one of us noticed it all.In fact,it's kinda comforting while being there,held warmly by his strong arms.
I could stay like this forever,I thought dryly.Heero is very warm,and he did smell nice..
Heero leaned to my shoulder,and once again I found myself choking for air as he breathed slowly into my ear.His breath tickled,and I shivered."Hey,Duo..?"
"Wha..what?"
"Do you think,.."He hesitated,and his grip on me loosening.I gulped.What is it??
"Yeah?"
".."He turned to face me,face a little flushed and troubled."Actually..,"
"What,Heero?"I was getting annoyed.Sure,it's all cute and romantic to see someone you like blushed as if to propose,but right now,I don't think that's the main problem.He looked away,his hands cold against my bare waist."Do you like Relena?"He halted.
I blinked.
Again.
A few times.
Relena?
What the hell..?I shook my head."No,not really."
He was flustered,face tensioned."I thought you two get along really well?"
"Her?"I rolled my eyes."Don't think so,mate.I mean,look at her."
"I did."
"And?"
"Well,"He coughed,his hands wavered lightly at my skin,tingling it."She is kind of nice.."
I frowned,a little puzzled."What are you trying to say?"
"I,..actually,.."
"What,Heero?What is it?"I asked patiently,puzzlement covering my mind.
"She had asked me to stay."
I stared at his flushed face,perfect disbelieving look plastered across my face.
What is this,some kind of a sick joke?Here we are,all ready for the next step like in the sappy movie,a kiss,or maybe a few kisses,and which would then lead to the cold bed across the room,snogging like hell,but whaddaya know?The script has suddenly changed it's story on it's own,turning it from the all-time-slash-tale to everyone favourite jerks comedy show?!Thank you very much.
I blinked again,my hand at his chest slipping away.Heero coughed,and started again."And I was thinking whether,.."I cut his words."Whether you should ask her for her hand in a marriage for the next ten years?"A little too harshly added,I thought,though feeling no sense of saying sorry at all.
It was Heero's time to blink now."What..?"
"Well,if you asked me,"I walked out of his comfortable grasp."I think that's a very good idea."Another harsness that he doesnt seem to notice,"For you to stay."
"Really?"His face lightened up,and it hurts so much to see how much it matters to him if he were to stay or not.I never knew that he wanted her so much.More than he wanted me..dammit!I frowned fiercely,the shadows closing around the space between us as I stepped back,though not too far from him.
"Yeah.Too good.Now that she got you to stay by her side,nothing will matter at all anymore,right?"I was nearly shouting by now,rage filling my head.How could he be saying her name now?!How could he?Doesn't he know that I despises that girl?
"Duo,"Heero tried to reach for my hand,but I slapped it away."What..?"
"Ohoho,don't you know that I hated her?No,wait.I despises her.She's the worst selfish brat that I had ever met."Heero was stunned.He was looking at me with a very shocked face that makes me wanting to laugh out loud."So you don't know yet,eh?Don't you know that she had been stalking us from the first time we met?And she is the reason why we had been ambushed several times before.Thanks for her bird-brain of,"I mocked her ways,a falsetto voice that shivered me."'Kill me,Heero.'"
I laughed,then snapped back to his still disbelieving face."Why didn't you,Heero?Why didn't you kill her in the first place?"
Heero looked down to his bare foot,wet from the rain that is still dampening the floor."I can't."
"Why can't you?"
"I,.."
"Do you like her?"
He hesitated,then nodded.
"Do you want her?"
He didn't nod,nor did he shook his head.
"Do you yearn for her?"
Still nothing.
"..do you love her?"My voice hardened by now,teeth grinding against each other in a very ferocious way.
He moved a little,as if trying to shake his head,but did nothing still.
"Well,what do you feel toward her?"I shouted."What do you feel toward me?"Right now,I didn't care if he knew that I liked him.Loved him.Nothing matters anymore.Nothing.
He glanced sadly to my eyes."Duo,.."
But I was not finished yet."You know what,Heero?I don't care.I never did.Just go.She's probably been re-decorating her bedroom to welcomed you."I stopped,watching as Heero clamped his mouth shut.I smirked,forgetting that this is Heero,the boy that I had always wanted."To her bed,I mean."
Smack.
My cheek is stinging.
Heero had slapped me.
"Don't you dare to say anything like that."He was shaking with such way that surprises me at how angry he was."Ever."With that,he strode angrily out the room,slamming the door as he went.A few moments later,I heard the back door being slammed noisily,rattling the windows and mirror inside the house.
Silence filled the already too quiet room,the darkness giving a little too wonderful eerie effect for the house.I strained my ears to hear if the door will open softly,and if I could hear the sound of Heero's steady breathing,..but I could hear nothing of that.All I can hear is the sound of the rain pounding madly against the roof,it's rhythm deafening.And somehow,the sound of it woke me up to face the reality which I had ben so badly trying to hide away from,realising me that everything is wrong by now.
Heero is gone.
To his 'precious' Relena.
And yet,..who am I to him?
I slumped carelessly onto the damp floor,my hands at my face.Perfect,isn't it?Yes,I am an idiot.My body shook,silent laughters ringing inside my mind.I laughed in a whisper,a ghostly sound that doesn't sound quite right to anyone's ears.Silently,my hair fell softly around my body,it's warmth giving me the comfort of feeling the loss.The silkiness of it felt right,reminding me of the one thing that I should have not forgotten so easily.
Heero is gone.But why should I care?
I shouldn't.
I wouldn't.
I can't.
And yet I did.
Since when I don't anyway?
I laughed softly against my hand,a humourless mirth that threatened to spill out maniacally anytime if I didn't control my numb mind.Fuck it.Hell fucking it.I threw my head back,laughing uncontrollably,possibly not noticing it at all.
Damn Relena and her stupid naiveness.
Damn him.
Damn me.
* * * * *
"Hey,Duo?You home?"Quatre's familiar voice slipped into the darkened room in which I was laying down now.His face poked in,his usual face glowed much more than of the last when I saw him."Duo?"He looked around the room,finally spotting me at the bed."What are you doing there in the dark?"
I scoffed."Playing poker with some imaginary monster.Wanna join me?"
He walked over,shutting the door quietly behind him."Hey,is everything allright?"He sat down to me,his features slowly eaten by the shadows of the night.His blonde hair swayed as the wind swept inside the room,and he looked at me through the bangs.
I turned away from his questioning gaze,the stare penetrating deeper than it looked."No,everyhing's fine."
He thought for a while.I have a feeling that he was going to ask about Heero,but thought better of it.He just nodded."Okay."He beamed widely,then,"I have something to tell you."He then waited for me to ask him,but I'm not in the mood anyway.I looked blankly at the wall,expecting him to just give up and go away.Yes,he is a good friend,but have you ever heard of the word 'Leave me alone?'.
Minutes passed,and he is yet to beam happily next to me.I sighed heavily,tired of seeing him so..giddy."What is it?"
"Trowa and I is now officially a couple."
"Now why doesn't that suprises me?"I yawned.
Quatre went quiet.He looked at me,and although I could say that he could hardly do,is was as if he had this..power to just see me through the darkness.Faintly,he spoke."It's Heero,isn't it?"
I glared."Should he be the reason everytime I'm down?"
"Yes."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah."
Silence.
"Well,he won't be anymore."I replied reluctantly.
Quatre's eyes narrowed."Why shouldn't he?"
Again reluctantly."Off to Relena."
Silence again.
"What did you just do,Duo?"
I was aghast."My,my,I was the one who was left alone,and you agreed that it was my fault?"
"You know it is."
"Hn.As if."
Soft chuckle."Your ego needs a little warning,Duo."
"So?It's mine,and mine on how to use it."
We stayed like that again,silence filling the cold room.Slowly,Quatre stood."Let's just hope that you're as good as your words."He walked out the door,lock slowly clicking back to it's position.And I lay there to process back what he really mean by his last words.
And to which one does he mean by that.
* * * * *
I blinked.
Water.
Falling heavily onto my body.
I looked up,my hand shielding my eyes from the drops that fell swiftly from the 'sky'.
Rain.
Rain?
I looked around.
Everywhere is foggy and mists is covering the place that looked strangely ..familiar.
Where am I?
* * * * *
Everything went well for that day,Wufei was out for the whole week,possibly for a mission,(I don't think he'll go anywhere out the house if not for the orders,really),and Trowa and Quatre is happily snogging each other silly everywhere they think that is quite ..decent.But they do have some brain from doing so in front of me,and I do thank them for that.And Trowa did came to see me at breakfast,nodding solemnly when he knew that Heero has left.And it is still raining.
"So,"I looked over to the still somber looking Trowa."He's gone?"
I nodded."Yeah.Last night."
"What happened?"
"Nothing."I shrugged."The usual."
"Usual fights?"
"Yep."
Trowa stared."The usual means that he will just shoot your ass,not leaving away."
"So?It's not my fault that he wanted to change his way."
"But Duo,"Quatre cut in after a while."He don't usually just walked out the door as if nothing happened."
I chuckled bitterly."'Usually' is a not a very promising word,Quat."
"But really,Heero has more sense than to do just that to-"
"Why did you let him go?"
I glared."What would you like me to do?Declare my undying love to him?"I replied sarcastically,feeling annoyed.What now?Everyone's choosing sides with him?!
"..."Trowa was silent.He didn't reply anything,but to just look at me questioningly.
"Look,"I stood,backing the chair from the table.The jar of milk wavered dangerously from the middle of the table,threatening to fall."Just let it go,'kay?"Quatre started to grasp me firmly at my left hand,trying to held me from going,but I just shook my head to them.I walked out the door,but stopped by the door frame for quite a minute.I turned to look at Trowa and Quatre,an expressionless face that dumbstrucked them;-
"It's not worth it."
* * * * *
++++++++++++++++++++++
I won't be lyin' to anyone,
I won't be lyin' to myself;
And yet you make me cry,
You make me lose faith..
++++++++++++++++++++++
The sun is shining,it's light streaming through the leaves of the tree I was sitting under.It was a Sunday morning,and I was lying on my back at the hill overlooking the sea.A nice view,very exquisite and relaxing.It was a willow tree that I had lied under.A very old looking tree,but very warm and welcoming.Small,icy droplets of water from the greyish clouds fell to the earth,and some onto me.The coldness felt refreshing,especially after this..tiring week.
I sighed.
Friday had left,and I haven't seen Heero at all.Where the hell is he?To tell you the truth,I never knew that he would abandon the mission just like that.I snorted.But much to everyone's surprises,he had asked to be paired with Wufei instead.Damn him.So he think that he could get rid of me that easily,eh?I scoffed.Not at all,pal.This time,it's me whom will get him away from me.
The winds blew,falling a few strands of hair onto my face.I puffed them away,sighing heavily.Yes,I know,it is my fault,..but please?Who wouldn't be mad when their crush started to talk about someone whom irritates you?And best of all,it's Relena he has been talking about.When everything feel too right and promising.
I smirked.Relena.I don't really hate her,but somehow,she has been annoying me with all her preach about pacifism and while she was at that,stalking us.No,I mean stalking Heero.Her brain must have gotten a screw misplaced somewhere,for she never did knew when to shut up and go away.And to think that someone like that is 'loved' by Heero..I shivered,shaking my head at the hideous thought.
Che.I smirked more broadly,wiping the droplets from my face.
Knowing her,I don't think she was kinda full of peace herself.Don't misunderstand,but what I mean is,look at her.She kept telling the wrong words at the wrong time.And after all,everyone respects her just because she has the power from her stepfather and her once-kingdom.Not all can stand her annoying wailing,and she is the kind of person whom will stop at nothing.And yes,it's right and good,yet when it come to the point of irritating people with everything,..
"Beautiful,isn't it?"
I opened my eyes and spotted Wufei leaning at tree,ever so relaxing like that.He was wearing his usual mourning outfit,white throughout.He was not smilling,nor does he seems to be in any mood that I can explain.He glanced back to the sea,dark brown eyes that intrigued me from the first time we met.
I sighed,looking up to the endless sky of pale blue colour.The sun is still shining greatly,it's rays blinding my kornea.I closed my eyes as the sea winds blew again,splashes of seawater and rain wetting my skin.I wanted to forget everything,forget that I had ever liked Heero,forget that I had been turned down everytime I did,forget that I can never be his,nor he to be mine..
I sighed again,letting the air go slowly through my mouth,as if trying to steady myself from the pain the reality is producing.I opened my eyes and gave a startled yell as a pair of brown eyes gazed back into my amethysts.
"Wargh!?"
Wufei jumped back,and his head bumped to the tree's potruding bark,creating a cracking sound that could almost be making me thinking that his skull has splitted open or something.He fell back to the grass,face contorted with the unbearable pain he was having.Wufei rubbed his head,wincing.I snorted.He glared.
"What?"I asked,still quite annoyed of being interrupted by the action."Don't look at me as if I was the one whose doing wrong."
He scoffed."Not that I was doing it."He crossed his arms across his chest,equally annoyed as I am.
"Oh,so I'm the one to blame?"And before he could nod,I continued,"So is it me who had stared so near as someone closes his eyes?Or is it me whom had jumped back and getting hit by the tree?"
Wufei winced a little,but shrugged nonetheless."But it's still your fault to shock me."
I rolled my eyes at him,fighting the urge to snicker."Sure it's mine,d-u- h."
"Allright,I'm sorry."He lay back down to the grass,though still looking at me."It's just that you had been sighing a few times already,and I had a feeling that maybe you were sick or something."
Yeah,of course I am,I thought quietly.I'm sick of feeling guilty and lonely.
He asked after a while,"So?Anything I can help?"
I raised an eyebrow at the sudden question."Aa,so honorable Chang Wufei had now wanted to help someone as irritating as Duo Maxwell?"The truth is,Wufei had more than few times called me an irritating brat,and very unforgivable as I had done too many pranks to him.Not that he ever really get downright thruthfully angry anyway.
He looked away."Che.Fine."
We lied down on the grass next to each other,gazing thoughtfully toward the neverending sky that saddened me.A bunch of clouds strayed in front of the sun,shielding us from the afternoon blinding light.The atmosphere started to be a little colder as the wind blew a little bit rougher than before.The rain poured heavier,and the sky turned greyish pale,a colour making me feel all more too depressed.
"Hey,Duo."
"What?"
"So what really did happen to you and Yuy?"'
I stared at him,but he doesn't seem to be looking at me.That was weird.He never called Heero 'Yuy' before."So,he's not Heero anymore?"
Wufei glanced toward me,rolling his eyes."Just answer me,Maxwell.Never mind on whether I wanted to call anyone by their surnames or not."
Snorting."Why should you care?You'll probably happy that he would've chopped off my head right there and then."
He gazed deep into my eyes,eyes betraying nothing at all.Then he turned to look away."I shouldn't,I know."He nodded before replying,"Just out of curiosity,actually.Forgive me if I had stepped over the border between your nerves."
I was surprised by then.Very.It's not like always that he would just say that he was wrong and sorry.I smiled cheekily to his apologizeness."Nah,'s kay.It's nothing at all."
"So,mind to tell me?"
"I thought you said that you shouldn't be asking that?"
His face flushed."Sorry.I never thought that I could be so noisy."
I laughed,startling him as I did."No,I mean,"I said between gasps for breath."You're so cute,you know that?"
Wufei snorted.I grinned."Let's just say that I had said the wrong things at the wrong time,na?"
He shrugged.
Silence rang through the atmosphere,all too aware that I have no mood to enjoy the calming scenery around me.How can I,when all the while all I can think about is only about him,and why had I been such an ass to ever let him go right under my nose.The rain is wetting my hair,and I released it slowly from it's tormenting hell of being tied.
I ran my hand through,feeling the silkiness and softness it was having due to being combed more than I usually did.When he was here,I never could have combed it.It's always Heero that did it for me,saying gruffly that he only had nothing better to do,other than to keep my mouth shut.I sighed.Wish I should have never let him do that,really.Now I miss to feel the way someone carresses my head..
"You could get a cold,you know."
Snapping open my eyes,I saw that Wufei is still lying there on his back beside me,staring."What?"
"Staying here in the rain."
"So?"I shrugged."I like rain.And despises it,too."
Silence again,then,"..I understand the feeling."
I played with my damp hair,twirling the end around with my index finger."Whatever do you mean?"
"..To have rain is a blessing,"He looked away."..not to mention the loneliness it was producing,..as the world suddenly became all too quiet,cold and somewhat solitary in one's mind."
He blinked,and continued,still looking away.Silently I studied him."Everywhere will became so peaceful,though rather being mixed up with a sense of disturbance,hatred,..and you couldn't help but to gaze sadly into the flawless sky,seeking for whatever one's wish,"He closed his eyes,and I looked up to the still raining sky,ashamed to be inside his private thoughts."..only to find nothing else in return to that hope,and everything falls apart,where you will find yourself again in this secluded world,seeking for answers and found none."
He sighed,as if sadly when he clasped his lips tighter together."You've given everything,anything at all,..only to get nothing in return."He went quiet after whispering,"Nothing."
"Wufei,.."
Wufei didn't reply.He lay there,unmoving except when he breathes.The chest fall graciously up and down,the wet white garment he was wearing revealing a very tanned skin underneath.I breathed deeply.He looked very,..fragile and delicate as he did.The lips parted slightly,and the droplets fell softly on it,as if giving the owner a symphaty he deserves.I shifted closer,breaths mingling with his as I moved closer to his face,a tanned and yellowish skin that glistened with the rain.
I blinked,mind completely blurred by my next action.I don't know why,but somehow,..at this exact time,I just wanted to..
"Duo!?"
Dark brown eyes looked back at me,surprise flashing across it before gently closing again.But I didn't care.He responded eagerly against my mouth,wrapping his wetly cladded hands around my back.His tongue met mine,and danced together with it's melodramatic rhymes.
I tinted him back to the damp earth,a hand clasped around his front buttons,fumbling with it.Wufei slid his hand to the insides of my white shirt,now drenched with rain and mud.I thrust my tongue deeper into his wet mouth,and heard him moaning.I threw away his shirt,breaking the kiss.Staring deeply into his puzzled eyes,I shred open the rest of his clothes,and mine.
I don't care.Wufei threw me down,he himself making a way up ontop of my body.The rain poured heavier suddenly,but both of us ignored it.I could hear the thunder rolling somewhere near,but decided to be deaf about it.I grabbed his by the face toward me,kissing his lips fiercely,adrenalines blazed through my blood stream.The feeling is making me dizzy,but I shrugged it off as Wufei replied the arousing gesture to everywhere he can reach.
I don't care.Honestly,I thought as our wet body moved together,..I just wanted to taste him.I closed my eyes as his kisses went further down to where all my aching were constracted.I just wanna taste him,I thought again,as his lips clamped deliciously near my throbbing pleasure,teasing my patience.
"I want you."I gasped between the feeling of rage and emptiness,holding him rigid by his shoulder.
Nodding,Wufei kissed me deeply,gazing sadly into my eyes as he readied himself at my entrance."No,"He thrusted inside,and all I can feel is definite pain with a touch of pleasure along with it."No you don't."And he grinded himself into me,moving with a special rhythm that swooned my mind.
But I didn't hear anything more,I was too warped up by the sensations to even notice a voice in the back of my head weeping slowly.Too late.Everything is.Over.
Just do it,I commanded my protesting mind.[1]
No!
Do it!My mind swam further from reality as the pleasure felt altogether too overwhelming to be kept inside.I cried his name as I came,blacking out.[2]
...
And forgot everything.
-Owari-
* * * * *
[1] Don't ask me what doing 'it' is.
[2] And don't ask me who is 'he'.I'll let it to your imagination,eh?
Author's mumblings: Yes,I am sooo.. bad.But hey,Who am I to be blamed?I never even thought that the story will end up being this way at all. *ducking the stares readers giving* O-kay,so I don't.At first,I wanted Heero and Duo to be together,but.. *shrugging* Guess it won't,then.But don't worry,though.There's always time for a sequel,eh?And I didn't even in the slightest say (or is it write?) that Wufei and Duo did get along as a couple.But I didn't say no either! Muwahahahahahahahahaha!!! *getting hit by readers' stuff* Itai-yo!! *Rubbing her sore head* Damn,must you do that? *Readers: Nodding2* Oh-allright!!Just wait for the sequel!I won't say no more. *Flying off into the darkness with Draco and Harry tucked inside the bag of Quidditch supplies behind her.*
P/s:- I know that maybe some of the parts were sooooooo OOC,but I just don't know how else am I to write the story and create the plot?Don't ask how come Heero can cry.Oh,and to tell you the truth,Heero slapped Duo 'cause to him,Relena is such a kind,lovable person whom he 'adores' (trembles with cold sweats).That's why he was kinda insulted when Duo 'tells' all the crap about her,na?Any other doubts whatsoever,mail me!!O- yea..Ame(2) is coming up next year..matte,ne?
Alexq-16/7/2003(+_____-;;;)