Confessions of an Ex-Boy Scout
By Sparklagal
Disclaimer: I own nothing... damnit!
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First of all I'll have you know I was never a goddamned Boy Scout. I was a perfectly normal kid. Good, but rebellious at times. I tried drugs, smoked cigarettes for a while, God knows I failed my share of classes, but passed most. I didn't help old ladies across the road, I wasn't a hall monitor, I hung out after school at the convenience store even though they told us to get lost... Okay, so I was a Boy Scout when I was like seven. But my mom signed me up for that, not my idea.
I'm not sure when the 'good guy' persona took hold. It certainly wasn't there when I was sixteen. Or seventeen and eighteen for that matter. Even after I manifested I wasn't much for good-deed-doing. Of course, I was also getting used to have to keep my eyes closed for the rest of my life too.
I guess it came about when Charles took me in. I owed the man so much, bringing back my ability to see, helping me hone my power, giving me a chance to have a life! I guess I couldn't say 'No' when he asked me. The man deserved my help. I told him I'd help him with his dream, even though it looked near impossible from the view of a scared eighteen-year-old.
But I held on with him. And after a while I even started believing that we could do this. We could make the world a better place for everyone. Looking back now I think I went about it the wrong way. Trying to be the perfect leader while simultaneously being the biggest prick you've ever met probably wasn't the best idea. I thought it would command attention.
Oh yeah, that worked really well.
Of course, there were a lot of things I hadn't planned on. Logan for one. Goddamned sonovabitch nearly ruined everything. Numerous times. But he's saved my life, and I his enough so that I can trust him at my back. And I've finally come to the conclusion that if Jean decides to go with him it's her loss... Probably Logan's too.
Contrary to popular belief, I don't have a stick up my ass. I'm not a grim idealist. I don't always dot my I's and cross my T's. I don't like broccoli and I don't understand every word that comes out of Hank's mouth. I've come to terms with the fact that the world will never be perfect like Charles wants it. But it's not a dark, evil place like Logan sees it. There are always exceptions to the norm. There are always shades of gray. The world is neither hell nor heaven. And that's what I believe the point of life is. You can strive to be perfect and fail or let yourself be evil and succeed.
So instead I try to be good. Not perfect. Perfect won't help you in the long run. Besides, It's hard to be perfect.
You know, it being impossible and all.
First of all I'll have you know I was never a goddamned Boy Scout. I was a perfectly normal kid. Good, but rebellious at times. I tried drugs, smoked cigarettes for a while, God knows I failed my share of classes, but passed most. I didn't help old ladies across the road, I wasn't a hall monitor, I hung out after school at the convenience store even though they told us to get lost... Okay, so I was a Boy Scout when I was like seven. But my mom signed me up for that, not my idea.
I'm not sure when the 'good guy' persona took hold. It certainly wasn't there when I was sixteen. Or seventeen and eighteen for that matter. Even after I manifested I wasn't much for good-deed-doing. Of course, I was also getting used to have to keep my eyes closed for the rest of my life too.
I guess it came about when Charles took me in. I owed the man so much, bringing back my ability to see, helping me hone my power, giving me a chance to have a life! I guess I couldn't say 'No' when he asked me. The man deserved my help. I told him I'd help him with his dream, even though it looked near impossible from the view of a scared eighteen-year-old.
But I held on with him. And after a while I even started believing that we could do this. We could make the world a better place for everyone. Looking back now I think I went about it the wrong way. Trying to be the perfect leader while simultaneously being the biggest prick you've ever met probably wasn't the best idea. I thought it would command attention.
Oh yeah, that worked really well.
Of course, there were a lot of things I hadn't planned on. Logan for one. Goddamned sonovabitch nearly ruined everything. Numerous times. But he's saved my life, and I his enough so that I can trust him at my back. And I've finally come to the conclusion that if Jean decides to go with him it's her loss... Probably Logan's too.
Contrary to popular belief, I don't have a stick up my ass. I'm not a grim idealist. I don't always dot my I's and cross my T's. I don't like broccoli and I don't understand every word that comes out of Hank's mouth. I've come to terms with the fact that the world will never be perfect like Charles wants it. But it's not a dark, evil place like Logan sees it. There are always exceptions to the norm. There are always shades of gray. The world is neither hell nor heaven. And that's what I believe the point of life is. You can strive to be perfect and fail or let yourself be evil and succeed.
So instead I try to be good. Not perfect. Perfect won't help you in the long run. Besides, It's hard to be perfect.
You know, it being impossible and all.