Chapter Fourteen
"Brandon, come here," Will waved towards Brandon as Sami gave Brandon a thoughtful look.
"Tell me something," Sami shook her head, "somehow I'm not going to get that private time we'd talked about earlier, am I?"
"Good things come to those who wait," Brandon promised leaning down to kiss her with a playful wink before going off to discover the new adventure Will had uncovered in the ocean.
Watching Brandon walk off towards her son, Sami felt a smile tug at her lips as she thought of how lucky she truly was. Life certainly had come full circle and now that she was reunited with Brandon and her son, it seemed perfect, almost too perfect as she felt a tapping on her shoulder.
"You know if you smile anymore I think I'm going to have to wonder who you are and what you did with my real sister," Eric teased gently as Sami threw him a scathing look, "ah, much better."
"What's wrong with me being happy," she questioned the smile lifting over her lips once again.
"Absolutely nothing," Eric hugged her gently, "because this is the only thing I've ever wanted for you Sami."
"Eric, I still can't believe you played a hand in this or that you even dared to bring Nicole into it," her smile faded momentarily, "speaking of which, what is going on with that? What are you doing here with her?"
"We wanted to see how things were going with Brandon," Eric shrugged his shoulders simply.
"Eric, there's more to it than that," Sami searched his eyes, "please tell me that you aren't seeing that woman again...that you're not…"
"Sami, I'm a grown up," Eric reminded her simply, "and you don't have to worry about me."
"Oh right. It's Nicole Walker we're talking about and after all that she's done to me over the past years, I think that I have plenty of reason to…"
"Sami," Eric interrupted, "look I know you and Nicole have some serious issues between you, but look at it this way. Think of how she felt with you being with Brandon, yet she pushed those feelings aside to make you both happy and you are happy, aren't you?"
"Well yes, but…"
"Then no buts," Eric offered, "let's just take the day for what it's worth and that's just a good day."
"A good day," Sami mused with a carefree smile, "you know there haven't been many of those for me lately."
"No there haven't," Eric shook his head as he looked over to Brandon and Will looking over the catch Will had made with his fishing pole, "but now is a chance to change all of that, to make things right in your life."
"I want that," Sami confessed thinking to the last few years of her life, "all I've ever wanted was to be happy with someone who loved me, truly loved me and with Brandon I feel that way."
"I know you've loved him for a very long time," Eric nodded simply, "which is why I couldn't allow you to make the biggest mistake of your life in marrying Lucas."
"Lucas," Sami repeated with a sigh, "you know over the last few days I haven't thought much of him or how he must be feeling."
"Why would you," Eric shrugged his shoulders with a scowl.
"Because I almost married him Eric," Sami tossed her hair over her shoulder to look up at her brother, "I think that in itself says why I might have to worry about him."
"Sami, you only almost married him because you were looking for a husband, any husband who might show the slightest bit of compassion for you and Will. You weren't looking at it as a situation where your heart was invested in it."
"Still, Lucas did care about me and I'm sure he does still," Sami frowned once again, "I know what Will said, but I just don't believe that this doesn't bother him even the smallest bit."
"Sami, did you hear your son? He said that he was helping in this kidnapping. He, Nicole, dad and I all felt that this was a mistake," Eric reminded her simply, "we didn't want you to ruin your life."
"I wasn't going to ruin my life," she defended standing taller, "I am clearly capable of making my own decisions you know."
"I'm well aware of this," Eric argued, "but then again looking at the ring that now sits on your finger, I'd say your heart has made another decision, now hasn't it?" he continued as she opened her mouth to reply, "one that wasn't available to you before we all played a hand in destiny."
"Eric, it's not that simple," Sami tried to argue with him, "it's not like…"
"Like what? Like you to be carefree and throw caution to the wind and follow your heart," he raised a skeptic brow, "Sami, you used to do that all the time. You went for what you wanted and you didn't give a damn about the path of those you trampled on in the process to get to what you wanted…"
"And in doing that, I had all my family turn on me and I lost Brandon, so where was the payoff?" she countered with a frown.
"Sami, do you love Brandon?"
"Of course I do," she huffed at him, "how could you even ask something like that?"
"Do you want to spend the rest of your life with him?"
"Well, yes, but…"
"But what? If you want to be with him and you love him like you say you do, then what's the problem? What could be possibly holding you back from being with this man you love? The fact that you said yes to Lucas when you really wanted to be saying yes to Brandon?"
"Eric," Sami frowned again, "once you put it that way, it doesn't sound right my worrying about Lucas."
"No it doesn't," Eric shook his head, "and besides I can promise you that Lucas is just fine."
"Why do you sound so convinced?" Sami lifted a curious brow.
"Just trust me on this one," Eric offered with a cryptic smile, "Lucas is going to recover and then some from this blow to his ego."
"You know Eric, why do I have the feeling that I'm not the only one with secrets lately…" Sami started as Will called out to her.
"Mom, you have to see this fish. Look at it. It's huge," Will demanded her attention as she gave her brother one last curious look.
"This will be continued," Sami informed him turning her attention to her son as she left her brother alone.
"Not if I can help it," Eric murmured as Nicole returned to his side carrying a lemonade.
"Something wrong?" she questioned curiously lifting her sunglasses from her forehead and putting them into place.
"Not a thing," Eric accepted his drink, a smile on his face as he realized that everything was right, perfectly right for the first time in a long time.
********
"Hey beautiful," Brandon wrapped his arms around Sami as her gaze cast over the ocean surrounding them, "a penny for your thoughts."
"You couldn't afford all that I have in my mind right now," Sami confessed throwing a gaze back at him over her shoulder.
"Hmm….well maybe we can work out some other kind of deal," Brandon persuaded dropping feathery light kisses over the back of her neck as the warmth of his breath sent tremors rushing over her every synapse.
"Perhaps we could come to some kind of agreement," she murmured lost in the eloquence of his touch.
"I was hoping you'd see it my way," he smiled against her skin before offering one soft kiss over the curve of her shoulder, "so are you having a nice time?"
"Nice isn't the right word for it," Sami breathed closing her eyes as the ocean breeze swept over them, "it's more than that."
"More," Brandon lifted a teasing brow, "well then I have been making quite an impression, haven't I?"
"Just a little bit," she teased wrapping his arms around her as she leaned back into him, "I still don't know how you did it all though. I mean in having Will here, well you have no idea how much that meant to me."
"I have a little idea," Brandon turned her in his arms urging her to face him as he touched her cheek, "and I'm glad it made you happy."
"It did," she nodded in confession, "very happy. I was worried about my son and now that he's here…"
"He's going to be alright Samantha," Brandon promised cupping her face in his hands, "we all are from now on."
"How can you be so sure," Sami fluttered her eyes up at him seeing the confidence washed over his features.
"Because I know my heart and I know yours," Brandon whispered leaning in towards her, "this is the beginning of that happily ever after you've always dreamt about."
"Brandon," she placed her palm in the center of his chest stopping him from bridging the distance between them, "we've been in this position before. You do realize that right."
"Of course I realize that, but last time we were younger and I was a hell of a lot stupider," Brandon offered with a teasing wink noticing that the smile hadn't arisen over her features. He gave her a thoughtful look before taking in a breath, "alright. Samantha, what's really bothering you?"
"Nothing," she shrugged her shoulders, "everything…oh I don't know."
"Well, that helps," he teased again before seeing that something was truly weighing on her mind, "okay, what's going on?"
"I was just thinking about the last time we made our way towards the altar," Sami sighed in response, "we were both so excited and happy about it, but then at the last minute, something happened and you changed your mind and you left town faster than a blink of an eye."
"I made a mistake, a huge one at that," Brandon offered in response.
"Damn right you did," she gave him a scathing look, "one that I've had to live with since the moment you left. Brandon, you have no idea what I went through without you, the pain that I had to endure, the breakdowns I had to fight off…"
"Samantha, I never, ever wanted you to experience that," Brandon brushed his thumb over her cheekbone, "I hated that I did that to you and if I could take it back…"
"Brandon, we both know that neither one of us can take back the time we lost, but at the same time, what if something happens again that causes you to run away? You know that I'm not perfect and I'm not going to pretend that I'll ever be perfect. I mean here we are back where we left off and yet there is so much that we haven't talked about, haven't shared with one another."
"Alright," Brandon nodded simply, "what's on your mind?"
"Well for starters, how about the night you left," Sami urged taking in a breath, "let's talk about that."
"Alright," he agreed, "where should we start?"
"How about with what happened after you left," Sami decided taking a moment to brace herself for the conversation at hand.
"Okay," Brandon nodded, "I know that I made a huge mistake that night. When I left town I didn't know what to do. I was so torn up inside with anger and rage at the world, at myself and as I said before I took it out on you and that was wrong. I should've stayed and fought for our love…for us…"
"Yes, you should've," Sami took in a breath untangling herself from his arms as she looked out to the water again. A coolness swept over her as tears stung at her eyes, "you should've come back because I had so much to share with you, so much I wanted you there for."
"Samantha, if I could've found a way, I would've…" Brandon began.
"You just didn't want to," Sami closed her eyes thinking of the pain she'd experienced in losing him, "do you have any idea what happened to me when you left me?"
"Samantha, I know that I screwed up and believe me if I could've been there with you, well, time and time I picked up the phone wanting to call you, to be with you again, but then I'd heard about you and Lucas and…"
"And you what? You took the easy way out," she raised her voice in an accusatory tone, "do you have any idea what brought me back to Lucas? Why he and I found our way together to begin with?"
"I never asked," Brandon confessed poignantly, "when Nikki told me that you two were together, I realized what a mistake I'd made and I tried not to ruin your life again because I thought you were happy."
"I wasn't happy. I was miserable. I was so damned miserable about everything because I'd lost the man I loved and any chance of happiness that came along with it," Sami felt her lip tremble as the hurt from that time in her life came rushing forward, "Brandon, when you left town, I fell apart. I had an accident, one that turned my life around forever, one that even now holds up that wall between us."
"Samantha, I don't understand," Brandon saw the tears behind her eyes as he reached out towards her, "I thought that we'd covered all of this, that we were both ready to move forward…"
"Brandon, we can't move forward without you knowing the truth about the past," she blurted out painfully, "about why I turned to Lucas and why I was there with him when you left. Sure, you know I was marrying him because of what I wanted for Will. I didn't love him as you said, but you have no idea what he did for me when you were gone…what he really did…"
"Then why don't you enlighten me," Brandon folded his arms in front of his chest hating to hear her talk about Lucas after all of the romantic time they'd shared with one another.
"He was there for me during and after the accident," Sami took in a deep breath preparing to reveal the worst of it all to Brandon at long last, "he was there when I was lost inside myself."
"Samantha, I'm grateful that he was there for you, but I should've been and if I could've found a way…"
"You keep saying if you could've found a way, but Brandon the truth is that you didn't find a way and you weren't there when I lost it all," Sami's tears flooded down her face as her insecurities and fears rushed forward to the surface revealing the deeper sadness that filled her, "you weren't there when I was in the hospital, when I was hurt and needing you and when…"
"When what," he questioned as tiny sobs overcame her, "Samantha," he reached out to her noticing she was trembling as he pulled her into his arms, "when what?"
"When I lost our baby," she sobbed into his chest as the pain flooded over her once more, "Brandon, when you left town I was pregnant. I was going to have a baby, our baby, but just like with you, I couldn't hold onto the baby. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't hold on…" she confessed overcome with tears.
"Samantha are you saying that…" Brandon blinked back as she looked up at him.
"I was pregnant, Brandon," Sami explained in between sobs, "we were going to have that family we both wanted and we lost it. We had it all within our reach, but then it slipped away…it all slipped away," she trailed off lost in the heartbreak.
"Oh Samantha," he hugged her tightly wanting to take her pain away as her secret heartbreak was revealed to him after all this time shedding new light on her reluctance to open up to him. Somehow in the arms of one another, it finally dawned in on them both that they'd lost far more than either had ever imagined and as Brandon held her in his arms taking in the news about their lost child, he wondered if he'd ever be able to make up for the pain that loving her and leaving her had caused.
…to be continued…
"Brandon, come here," Will waved towards Brandon as Sami gave Brandon a thoughtful look.
"Tell me something," Sami shook her head, "somehow I'm not going to get that private time we'd talked about earlier, am I?"
"Good things come to those who wait," Brandon promised leaning down to kiss her with a playful wink before going off to discover the new adventure Will had uncovered in the ocean.
Watching Brandon walk off towards her son, Sami felt a smile tug at her lips as she thought of how lucky she truly was. Life certainly had come full circle and now that she was reunited with Brandon and her son, it seemed perfect, almost too perfect as she felt a tapping on her shoulder.
"You know if you smile anymore I think I'm going to have to wonder who you are and what you did with my real sister," Eric teased gently as Sami threw him a scathing look, "ah, much better."
"What's wrong with me being happy," she questioned the smile lifting over her lips once again.
"Absolutely nothing," Eric hugged her gently, "because this is the only thing I've ever wanted for you Sami."
"Eric, I still can't believe you played a hand in this or that you even dared to bring Nicole into it," her smile faded momentarily, "speaking of which, what is going on with that? What are you doing here with her?"
"We wanted to see how things were going with Brandon," Eric shrugged his shoulders simply.
"Eric, there's more to it than that," Sami searched his eyes, "please tell me that you aren't seeing that woman again...that you're not…"
"Sami, I'm a grown up," Eric reminded her simply, "and you don't have to worry about me."
"Oh right. It's Nicole Walker we're talking about and after all that she's done to me over the past years, I think that I have plenty of reason to…"
"Sami," Eric interrupted, "look I know you and Nicole have some serious issues between you, but look at it this way. Think of how she felt with you being with Brandon, yet she pushed those feelings aside to make you both happy and you are happy, aren't you?"
"Well yes, but…"
"Then no buts," Eric offered, "let's just take the day for what it's worth and that's just a good day."
"A good day," Sami mused with a carefree smile, "you know there haven't been many of those for me lately."
"No there haven't," Eric shook his head as he looked over to Brandon and Will looking over the catch Will had made with his fishing pole, "but now is a chance to change all of that, to make things right in your life."
"I want that," Sami confessed thinking to the last few years of her life, "all I've ever wanted was to be happy with someone who loved me, truly loved me and with Brandon I feel that way."
"I know you've loved him for a very long time," Eric nodded simply, "which is why I couldn't allow you to make the biggest mistake of your life in marrying Lucas."
"Lucas," Sami repeated with a sigh, "you know over the last few days I haven't thought much of him or how he must be feeling."
"Why would you," Eric shrugged his shoulders with a scowl.
"Because I almost married him Eric," Sami tossed her hair over her shoulder to look up at her brother, "I think that in itself says why I might have to worry about him."
"Sami, you only almost married him because you were looking for a husband, any husband who might show the slightest bit of compassion for you and Will. You weren't looking at it as a situation where your heart was invested in it."
"Still, Lucas did care about me and I'm sure he does still," Sami frowned once again, "I know what Will said, but I just don't believe that this doesn't bother him even the smallest bit."
"Sami, did you hear your son? He said that he was helping in this kidnapping. He, Nicole, dad and I all felt that this was a mistake," Eric reminded her simply, "we didn't want you to ruin your life."
"I wasn't going to ruin my life," she defended standing taller, "I am clearly capable of making my own decisions you know."
"I'm well aware of this," Eric argued, "but then again looking at the ring that now sits on your finger, I'd say your heart has made another decision, now hasn't it?" he continued as she opened her mouth to reply, "one that wasn't available to you before we all played a hand in destiny."
"Eric, it's not that simple," Sami tried to argue with him, "it's not like…"
"Like what? Like you to be carefree and throw caution to the wind and follow your heart," he raised a skeptic brow, "Sami, you used to do that all the time. You went for what you wanted and you didn't give a damn about the path of those you trampled on in the process to get to what you wanted…"
"And in doing that, I had all my family turn on me and I lost Brandon, so where was the payoff?" she countered with a frown.
"Sami, do you love Brandon?"
"Of course I do," she huffed at him, "how could you even ask something like that?"
"Do you want to spend the rest of your life with him?"
"Well, yes, but…"
"But what? If you want to be with him and you love him like you say you do, then what's the problem? What could be possibly holding you back from being with this man you love? The fact that you said yes to Lucas when you really wanted to be saying yes to Brandon?"
"Eric," Sami frowned again, "once you put it that way, it doesn't sound right my worrying about Lucas."
"No it doesn't," Eric shook his head, "and besides I can promise you that Lucas is just fine."
"Why do you sound so convinced?" Sami lifted a curious brow.
"Just trust me on this one," Eric offered with a cryptic smile, "Lucas is going to recover and then some from this blow to his ego."
"You know Eric, why do I have the feeling that I'm not the only one with secrets lately…" Sami started as Will called out to her.
"Mom, you have to see this fish. Look at it. It's huge," Will demanded her attention as she gave her brother one last curious look.
"This will be continued," Sami informed him turning her attention to her son as she left her brother alone.
"Not if I can help it," Eric murmured as Nicole returned to his side carrying a lemonade.
"Something wrong?" she questioned curiously lifting her sunglasses from her forehead and putting them into place.
"Not a thing," Eric accepted his drink, a smile on his face as he realized that everything was right, perfectly right for the first time in a long time.
********
"Hey beautiful," Brandon wrapped his arms around Sami as her gaze cast over the ocean surrounding them, "a penny for your thoughts."
"You couldn't afford all that I have in my mind right now," Sami confessed throwing a gaze back at him over her shoulder.
"Hmm….well maybe we can work out some other kind of deal," Brandon persuaded dropping feathery light kisses over the back of her neck as the warmth of his breath sent tremors rushing over her every synapse.
"Perhaps we could come to some kind of agreement," she murmured lost in the eloquence of his touch.
"I was hoping you'd see it my way," he smiled against her skin before offering one soft kiss over the curve of her shoulder, "so are you having a nice time?"
"Nice isn't the right word for it," Sami breathed closing her eyes as the ocean breeze swept over them, "it's more than that."
"More," Brandon lifted a teasing brow, "well then I have been making quite an impression, haven't I?"
"Just a little bit," she teased wrapping his arms around her as she leaned back into him, "I still don't know how you did it all though. I mean in having Will here, well you have no idea how much that meant to me."
"I have a little idea," Brandon turned her in his arms urging her to face him as he touched her cheek, "and I'm glad it made you happy."
"It did," she nodded in confession, "very happy. I was worried about my son and now that he's here…"
"He's going to be alright Samantha," Brandon promised cupping her face in his hands, "we all are from now on."
"How can you be so sure," Sami fluttered her eyes up at him seeing the confidence washed over his features.
"Because I know my heart and I know yours," Brandon whispered leaning in towards her, "this is the beginning of that happily ever after you've always dreamt about."
"Brandon," she placed her palm in the center of his chest stopping him from bridging the distance between them, "we've been in this position before. You do realize that right."
"Of course I realize that, but last time we were younger and I was a hell of a lot stupider," Brandon offered with a teasing wink noticing that the smile hadn't arisen over her features. He gave her a thoughtful look before taking in a breath, "alright. Samantha, what's really bothering you?"
"Nothing," she shrugged her shoulders, "everything…oh I don't know."
"Well, that helps," he teased again before seeing that something was truly weighing on her mind, "okay, what's going on?"
"I was just thinking about the last time we made our way towards the altar," Sami sighed in response, "we were both so excited and happy about it, but then at the last minute, something happened and you changed your mind and you left town faster than a blink of an eye."
"I made a mistake, a huge one at that," Brandon offered in response.
"Damn right you did," she gave him a scathing look, "one that I've had to live with since the moment you left. Brandon, you have no idea what I went through without you, the pain that I had to endure, the breakdowns I had to fight off…"
"Samantha, I never, ever wanted you to experience that," Brandon brushed his thumb over her cheekbone, "I hated that I did that to you and if I could take it back…"
"Brandon, we both know that neither one of us can take back the time we lost, but at the same time, what if something happens again that causes you to run away? You know that I'm not perfect and I'm not going to pretend that I'll ever be perfect. I mean here we are back where we left off and yet there is so much that we haven't talked about, haven't shared with one another."
"Alright," Brandon nodded simply, "what's on your mind?"
"Well for starters, how about the night you left," Sami urged taking in a breath, "let's talk about that."
"Alright," he agreed, "where should we start?"
"How about with what happened after you left," Sami decided taking a moment to brace herself for the conversation at hand.
"Okay," Brandon nodded, "I know that I made a huge mistake that night. When I left town I didn't know what to do. I was so torn up inside with anger and rage at the world, at myself and as I said before I took it out on you and that was wrong. I should've stayed and fought for our love…for us…"
"Yes, you should've," Sami took in a breath untangling herself from his arms as she looked out to the water again. A coolness swept over her as tears stung at her eyes, "you should've come back because I had so much to share with you, so much I wanted you there for."
"Samantha, if I could've found a way, I would've…" Brandon began.
"You just didn't want to," Sami closed her eyes thinking of the pain she'd experienced in losing him, "do you have any idea what happened to me when you left me?"
"Samantha, I know that I screwed up and believe me if I could've been there with you, well, time and time I picked up the phone wanting to call you, to be with you again, but then I'd heard about you and Lucas and…"
"And you what? You took the easy way out," she raised her voice in an accusatory tone, "do you have any idea what brought me back to Lucas? Why he and I found our way together to begin with?"
"I never asked," Brandon confessed poignantly, "when Nikki told me that you two were together, I realized what a mistake I'd made and I tried not to ruin your life again because I thought you were happy."
"I wasn't happy. I was miserable. I was so damned miserable about everything because I'd lost the man I loved and any chance of happiness that came along with it," Sami felt her lip tremble as the hurt from that time in her life came rushing forward, "Brandon, when you left town, I fell apart. I had an accident, one that turned my life around forever, one that even now holds up that wall between us."
"Samantha, I don't understand," Brandon saw the tears behind her eyes as he reached out towards her, "I thought that we'd covered all of this, that we were both ready to move forward…"
"Brandon, we can't move forward without you knowing the truth about the past," she blurted out painfully, "about why I turned to Lucas and why I was there with him when you left. Sure, you know I was marrying him because of what I wanted for Will. I didn't love him as you said, but you have no idea what he did for me when you were gone…what he really did…"
"Then why don't you enlighten me," Brandon folded his arms in front of his chest hating to hear her talk about Lucas after all of the romantic time they'd shared with one another.
"He was there for me during and after the accident," Sami took in a deep breath preparing to reveal the worst of it all to Brandon at long last, "he was there when I was lost inside myself."
"Samantha, I'm grateful that he was there for you, but I should've been and if I could've found a way…"
"You keep saying if you could've found a way, but Brandon the truth is that you didn't find a way and you weren't there when I lost it all," Sami's tears flooded down her face as her insecurities and fears rushed forward to the surface revealing the deeper sadness that filled her, "you weren't there when I was in the hospital, when I was hurt and needing you and when…"
"When what," he questioned as tiny sobs overcame her, "Samantha," he reached out to her noticing she was trembling as he pulled her into his arms, "when what?"
"When I lost our baby," she sobbed into his chest as the pain flooded over her once more, "Brandon, when you left town I was pregnant. I was going to have a baby, our baby, but just like with you, I couldn't hold onto the baby. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't hold on…" she confessed overcome with tears.
"Samantha are you saying that…" Brandon blinked back as she looked up at him.
"I was pregnant, Brandon," Sami explained in between sobs, "we were going to have that family we both wanted and we lost it. We had it all within our reach, but then it slipped away…it all slipped away," she trailed off lost in the heartbreak.
"Oh Samantha," he hugged her tightly wanting to take her pain away as her secret heartbreak was revealed to him after all this time shedding new light on her reluctance to open up to him. Somehow in the arms of one another, it finally dawned in on them both that they'd lost far more than either had ever imagined and as Brandon held her in his arms taking in the news about their lost child, he wondered if he'd ever be able to make up for the pain that loving her and leaving her had caused.
…to be continued…