Disclaimer: There's no way in hell I could ever possibly own Evangelion.
There's no way I could ever possibly own any of the characters, episodes,
or anything. There's no way in hell I could ever even own a single square
of single tape of Evangelion masterpiece. If I had, I would probably bow
down and worship myself. But I don't, thankfully. I don't want to be
egotistical. So, in a way, it is indeed a good thing that I don't own any
part of Evangelion. There's already too many egoists in the world.
A/N: One thing I always put in my fics for my own fragile ego's sake, even
though I really don't think it applies here. I am not a plot Nazi. Most of
the plot I will keep as I see supports a fic, but I do not feel afraid to
change or alter other parts of it to better support the fic. Please don't
flame me for plot reasons.
2nd A/N: Okay, then. One more thing before we get started. This poem, as
you would have probably figured out easily, is from the POV of none other
than Shinji Ikari himself. However, I have somewhat of a challenge, for
those of you who want to take it. I want to hear your opinions on who or
what Shinji this poem may be to, or in other words, to what party it is
addressed.
Just scream
You . . .
You put me here
You made me this way
You drove me crazy
Pushed me over the edge
The point of no return
You could give me no answers
You made me sick
Brought me crashing to the floor
Shattered to a million pieces
Of broken crayons
You made me hurt
You made me weak
You made me this way
I hate you
I am me
I drove myself to the depths of hell
Martyred myself on a thousand crosses
I drove you away from me
Invisible walls of glass
You begging to be let in
Reaching through the bars
As I sat on the other side grinning oddly
I dug my own grave
Of simple white death
My own little world of nothing
I am nothing
I drove myself to the depths of hell and back
I hate myself
So I just screamed
For the love of whatever God exists
From this private hell
Shattering in a million pieces
Of mirrors falling to the ground
Screamed that no one could hear me
No one could see me
No one even wants to know
No one would reach out to touch me
You tore me into pieces
Of your vicious hunger
The apocalypse incarnated in your eyes
Embraced me when I fell to your arms
Then tossed me aside like a doll
To break on the floor
The melancholy song of monotony
Singing in my ears
Happy and free
Mocking me
I hate you all
So I just screamed
That I didn't care to live or die
That none of you meant anything to me
Wanted nothing to do with you
That I wished you'd all disappear
Leave me to my own misery
Stop hurting me
No one could ever understand
No one could ever care
No one could love me anyway
I saw what you where from the beginning
Pushed me forward to the top . . .
How foolish, this fragile faith
Making me the image of my own ego
Perfection in this glamorous lie
Psychopathic hiding within
Your perfect little boy
Your beautiful little Angel
You should have known
Oh, you should have known
What was right in front of you all along.
I hate your fucking sympathy.
I knew what I was
My dreams and thoughts spilling across the pages
Of white and deathly blank
Scribbles of intensity
Flowing wildly, screaming mercilessly
That nothing was real
All just one big lie
Biting down to suppress it all
I ravished in the blood
Drank with greed and relish
Drowning in the erotica of excruciating pleasure
I hate this struggle for air.
So I just screamed
In that maniacal way you taught me so well
The lifeblood dripping from my fingertips
Crying at the desolation I'd created
Cheering in a neurotic liberation front
Myself at the head of the picket lines
"Release the beast!"
Crowing in the blood red dawn
Over every last wasted redemption and prayer
Seeing at last the ultimate truth of God . . .
You saw what I was from the beginning
I was your worst nightmare
Incarnated in all your best wishes and dreams
The ultimate Yin
Truth in the mirror you pushed back in the closet
You tried to choke it away
Make me stop screaming
And in your strength born my weakness
Under your furtive grasp
You saw me dying
And howled like the wind
I knew you never loved me
Death became me
I embraced it with arms tense and excruciated
I craved this power of choice divine
To destroy is like to be God
To create is like to be God
I am the destruction
I am the creation
I am an Angel
I am the demon
I am everything
You fear and desire
How can you be blind?
Erasing myself
From the face of the world
Just so I can be free,
To feel the breeze . . .
So I screamed and screamed
Because a scream was what I'd become
Ringing one long melancholy song
Forever and always in my ears
Haunt me to the grave and back
Drowning in the air
Waiting to hit the bottom
Praying one last flying prayer
Falling . . .
I erased myself
To be with you
Just to spend a single second
In this sweet twisted madness
Entangled, drowning in you
You suffocating in me
I want to spend forever
In this heavenly hell
I want to spend forever
In this sweet hare kiri
I want to spend forever
In this martyr's death . . .
So just scream
Free the beast
Finally in freefall
Your worst nightmare
Your saintliest daydream
Your heavenly hell
So just scream
Enter the freefall
To be one and all
Suspended animation
In holy constant with
Me and you
My love and my hate, my hate and my love . . .
This is my hell
This is my heaven
This is your nightmare
This is your dream
So just scream . . .
THE END
There's no way I could ever possibly own any of the characters, episodes,
or anything. There's no way in hell I could ever even own a single square
of single tape of Evangelion masterpiece. If I had, I would probably bow
down and worship myself. But I don't, thankfully. I don't want to be
egotistical. So, in a way, it is indeed a good thing that I don't own any
part of Evangelion. There's already too many egoists in the world.
A/N: One thing I always put in my fics for my own fragile ego's sake, even
though I really don't think it applies here. I am not a plot Nazi. Most of
the plot I will keep as I see supports a fic, but I do not feel afraid to
change or alter other parts of it to better support the fic. Please don't
flame me for plot reasons.
2nd A/N: Okay, then. One more thing before we get started. This poem, as
you would have probably figured out easily, is from the POV of none other
than Shinji Ikari himself. However, I have somewhat of a challenge, for
those of you who want to take it. I want to hear your opinions on who or
what Shinji this poem may be to, or in other words, to what party it is
addressed.
Just scream
You . . .
You put me here
You made me this way
You drove me crazy
Pushed me over the edge
The point of no return
You could give me no answers
You made me sick
Brought me crashing to the floor
Shattered to a million pieces
Of broken crayons
You made me hurt
You made me weak
You made me this way
I hate you
I am me
I drove myself to the depths of hell
Martyred myself on a thousand crosses
I drove you away from me
Invisible walls of glass
You begging to be let in
Reaching through the bars
As I sat on the other side grinning oddly
I dug my own grave
Of simple white death
My own little world of nothing
I am nothing
I drove myself to the depths of hell and back
I hate myself
So I just screamed
For the love of whatever God exists
From this private hell
Shattering in a million pieces
Of mirrors falling to the ground
Screamed that no one could hear me
No one could see me
No one even wants to know
No one would reach out to touch me
You tore me into pieces
Of your vicious hunger
The apocalypse incarnated in your eyes
Embraced me when I fell to your arms
Then tossed me aside like a doll
To break on the floor
The melancholy song of monotony
Singing in my ears
Happy and free
Mocking me
I hate you all
So I just screamed
That I didn't care to live or die
That none of you meant anything to me
Wanted nothing to do with you
That I wished you'd all disappear
Leave me to my own misery
Stop hurting me
No one could ever understand
No one could ever care
No one could love me anyway
I saw what you where from the beginning
Pushed me forward to the top . . .
How foolish, this fragile faith
Making me the image of my own ego
Perfection in this glamorous lie
Psychopathic hiding within
Your perfect little boy
Your beautiful little Angel
You should have known
Oh, you should have known
What was right in front of you all along.
I hate your fucking sympathy.
I knew what I was
My dreams and thoughts spilling across the pages
Of white and deathly blank
Scribbles of intensity
Flowing wildly, screaming mercilessly
That nothing was real
All just one big lie
Biting down to suppress it all
I ravished in the blood
Drank with greed and relish
Drowning in the erotica of excruciating pleasure
I hate this struggle for air.
So I just screamed
In that maniacal way you taught me so well
The lifeblood dripping from my fingertips
Crying at the desolation I'd created
Cheering in a neurotic liberation front
Myself at the head of the picket lines
"Release the beast!"
Crowing in the blood red dawn
Over every last wasted redemption and prayer
Seeing at last the ultimate truth of God . . .
You saw what I was from the beginning
I was your worst nightmare
Incarnated in all your best wishes and dreams
The ultimate Yin
Truth in the mirror you pushed back in the closet
You tried to choke it away
Make me stop screaming
And in your strength born my weakness
Under your furtive grasp
You saw me dying
And howled like the wind
I knew you never loved me
Death became me
I embraced it with arms tense and excruciated
I craved this power of choice divine
To destroy is like to be God
To create is like to be God
I am the destruction
I am the creation
I am an Angel
I am the demon
I am everything
You fear and desire
How can you be blind?
Erasing myself
From the face of the world
Just so I can be free,
To feel the breeze . . .
So I screamed and screamed
Because a scream was what I'd become
Ringing one long melancholy song
Forever and always in my ears
Haunt me to the grave and back
Drowning in the air
Waiting to hit the bottom
Praying one last flying prayer
Falling . . .
I erased myself
To be with you
Just to spend a single second
In this sweet twisted madness
Entangled, drowning in you
You suffocating in me
I want to spend forever
In this heavenly hell
I want to spend forever
In this sweet hare kiri
I want to spend forever
In this martyr's death . . .
So just scream
Free the beast
Finally in freefall
Your worst nightmare
Your saintliest daydream
Your heavenly hell
So just scream
Enter the freefall
To be one and all
Suspended animation
In holy constant with
Me and you
My love and my hate, my hate and my love . . .
This is my hell
This is my heaven
This is your nightmare
This is your dream
So just scream . . .
THE END