Note: this is a short story I wrote last year for school (gr.8) so if the
writing level isn't perfect, that's why. I made this entirely up, but I'm
sure some of it was influenced partly by a book called "Adam and Eve and
Pinch Me", but all and all it came from my head. I just wanted to post it
to see what people thought of it and since I was anxious to put something
on here after being shown this awesome website, but right now I'm too busy
with school to write. Please review this!
Alone
I've been watching her for six months...and I think she's the one. I let myself fall back against the big oak tree-my cover from unwanted eyes-as the girl attempted to skip with a yellow rope. She giggled an enchanting sound that could make anyone smile and for a second I wondered if I was doing the right thing. Yes, of course I'm doing the right thing, family belongs together. I sighed and murmured,
"Stupid mom." A tear welled in my eye and I hastily blinked it back. The bell rang and I heard someone yell "Brooke!" My eyes widened and I jumping up, straining my neck to see who answered. I almost cried
again when I saw the girl shout out in a gleeful chant,
"Coming, coming, coming, coming!" It was her, it was Brooke. I wanted to sprint over right then and gather her into my arms and hold her for the rest of eternity. I bit my lip, shoved my hands in my pockets, and shut my eyes tightly...it was all I could do to stop myself from letting my
heart take over my mind.
I sat by the school for about two hours thinking about what I had just seen. I wanted her to be mine so much, but there wasn't any way I
could find out right then. I'd have to wait and try to get her D.N.A. somehow. But that could be hard. I sighed and suddenly felt very small. I sat there with my back against the tree thinking about how my life had been torn out of my grasp and how my mom screwed it all up for me. I was falling back into that hole I had dug myself when I was only 16. I sat up straight and took at deep breath. I forced myself to go through all of the good things I had in my life, because it had taken me ten years to climb out of that ditch, and I didn't want to fall back in again. I gasped as I remembered the fingerprints I had had made of my daughter before she was
taken from me. I smiled and a tear threatened to emerge. I blinked it back and decided how I would find out if the Brooke at the school was in fact my Brooke. Of course as a manager at the bank, I knew that everyone
there jokes about how the government takes the coins to have our
fingerprints on file. It would be simple to get Brooke to handle a previously cleaned coin and that's all I would need to find out whether or not this golden-haired cutie was mine or just belonged to a lucky couple. I spent roughly another hour or so, dreaming about what type of things I could do with Brooke and what she would be like, if this girl was in fact her (my daughter). This time I couldn't control the overflow of emotions,
which chose to exit through my eyes. By the time I left, my sleeve was blotched with wetness, but I was relieved I hadn't worn mascara that day. I had taken the day off work, so I was free for the whole afternoon. I grabbed a "Lean Cuisine" from the freezer and stuck it into the microwave for five minutes. I turned around quickly to face my fridge, but in the process stubbed my big toe. The pain surged though it and my toe throbbed as if struggling to remain attached to my foot. I cursed and held my toe joint for a minute and hopped over to the couch, abandoning my idea to get a drink. I collapsed into the couch and massaged my toe for a good 2 minutes. The pain that had been so agonizing was now nearly gone. I let my foot drop to the ground and fell back into the puffy leather backing on the couch. I blinked, but held my eyes closed for longer than normal, thinking about my eventful day. When I opened my eyes about 30 seconds later and found a fimiliar face staring down at me. I smiled and whispered, "'Lo Mark." No reply came from his forever-laughing mouth, after all pictures can't talk. I had taken that photo about a year ago, when we had spent the day at the park initially there to go fishing, but there were no boats left to rent. Instead we just walked around envying the small children who didn't know what the real world was like yet. We fed the ducks and had a picnic too. It was a perfect day. Mark was an amazing guy, he's my best friend and has been ever since I moved away from my parent's home. I glanced around the room at the several dozen pictures that hung on the walls. I inhaled a large amount of air and pushed myself up from the heavenly couch. I walked idly around the room staring into each picture, trying to transport myself back to the very second that the camera made a click. I reached my favourite picture and paused there. It was of Mark. He looked great in that picture, not that he didn't look amazing in real life either. He was very attractive with broad shoulders, a muscular body, and a head of hair that people would kill for. He was a little taller than me, but I could still clearly see his face. That was my favourite part of him, his face. He had ocean coloured eyes that seemed to reflect everything he looked at and his smile was flawless, lined with straight, white teeth and he had never had braces. I smiled, he was naturally perfect. I was staring into the picture when I noticed something I had never seen before; it was as if the picture had changed, taken on a new meaning. I touched my finger to the glass and a crease appeared on my forehead. It wasn't that he didn't still look hot, but he looked as if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. He was smiling broadly, but his eyes looked as if he wanted to tell me something. I frowned wondering what we did that day, but I had drawn a blank. I nearly jumped when I heard the beep of the microwave. I would have to ask him about that picture later. After I ate and got a little more freshened up for the day, I decided to call Mark. Then I could ask him about the picture. I picked up the phone and dialed the too familiar number, listening to the bouncing tune of the buttons. It rang once before I heard the receiver lift on the other end of the line. "Hey Elli!" came Marks vioce. Since, he had caller I.D., he knew it was me. I replied saying,
"Hi Mark, are you busy today? I'm bored stiff and have the day off work, so I'd love to do something, if your free." "Sure, I'd love to!" the reply came almost before I had even giving out the invitation. I smiled, "Great, lets meet here, at my place, around 1 oclockish?" "Sounds like a good plan to me, see you then." "Alright, bubye." I pressed the 'end' button on the see-through, blue-tint telephone. Then I placed it on the reciever as I swung around the corner and plopped onto my couch. I grabbed the remote from the glass top of my black-framed side-table and flicked on the TV. Mark came to my house at 12:57 pm; he always seemed to be early, unlike me. I ushered him into my apartment, avoiding the suspicious eyes of my neighbour, Mrs. Bellofield. She always thought there was something going on between us, despite the numorous times that I had firmly told her we were just friends. Mark slumped onto my black leather couch and sighed as if letting out all of his troubles. Then he spoke; "Boy, I had a stressful day. I had to present my blueprints for the new building I was telling you about, you know, the new art museum. They just told me that they had some budget cuts, because one of their donators bailed on them and wouldn't give them a penny towards the operation. I might have to re-draw the whole thing and well that would take a looong time. Do you have any beer around here?" He finished, foolishly grinning up at me. I rolled my eyes and answered, "You know I don't drink and no I haven't decided to keep a stash for you as you suggested before." Now it was my turn to grin as he let out an "aw" in agony. "But I guess I should let you go easily for now, it does sound like you had a busy day." He sighed again and said, "Yeah, but you know, my job isn't exactly what one would call ideal. I do love it though. So you had the day off, eh? What did you do to waste the morning?" He looked quizzically up at me and I almost paniced. I caught myself just in time. Oh crap, in an instant I considered my options. I could either tell Mark and hear his big lecture and be considered as a dangerous psychotic by him or I could make up a fib. The second option sounded like the easy way out and I was about to take it when I paused. Mark sensed my reluctance and a look of concern flashed across his face. I didn't like lying to Mark, but if I wanted to get around to the picture, I'd need to leave time. About three seconds after I was asked the question, I answered it, "Oh, I don't know, slept in and goggled at the puppies across the street." Ok, not a bad lie, a little late, but not bad, I decided, after all, I always stared longingly at the puppies in Julie's store. He cocked his head to the side and narrowed his eyes. "Nice try, El, but you spent a little too much time coming up with that. And it wasn't even very good." he joked, "But, seriously, what were you doing?" I closed my eyes. Defeated, that wasn't the only word that popped into my head as my brain scrambled to create a plausable explanation and none came to mind. I opened my eyes, time to fess up. I sighed and Mark whispered a few words trying to encourage me to open up. I nodded along occasionally saying a 'yes' here and an 'I know' there, but the whole time he spoke I was thinking, willing him to shut up. This was hard enough for me to tell without one of his lectures. When I heard him say something about truth being the most important thing in friendship, I held up my hand, a silent sign for him to be quite. I opened my mouth to speak, but ended up closing it and shaking my head. I held my face in my hands for a moment and then brushed my hair out of my eyes with the back of my hand. I sighed and said, "Ok, fine, you really wanna know?" I didn't let him answer and kept going, "I was at the school." I paused and he cut in, "Doing what?" I glared at him and I think he got the point that I didn't want to be interrupted. I continued, "I was at the school...to see Brooke." Marks posture improved as he was trying to compose himself. His eyebrows were poised and he looked like he was about to say something, but held it back. It was silent for at least a minute and I rolled my eyes. "This is ridiculous, say something!" I finally said. He sighed and said, "How do you know it's, well you know, your Brooke?" "I don't! That's what makes it so crazy, but I think I know how I can figure it out." He looked deep into my eyes and smiled. He made a gesture with his hands and said, "Go on..." I grabbed his hand and held it in my own and a burst of words came spewing out of my mouth, "Ok, well you know how when I first told you about Brooke, I showed you those fingerprints I had of hers?" He nodded and I continued, "Ok well, I could take that to one of the fingerprint matching stores or whatever with a copy of fingerprints from the Brooke at the school. Make sense?" I clutched his hand really tightly and he sighed. "Yes it makes sense, but how do you plan to get her fingerprints?" I released his hand and he touched his index finger to my nose and then retracted it back to his neck where a cracking noise soon emanated. "Will you stop that, I hate it when you crack your neck!" He tilted his head and gave me an evil look and cracked his neck even louder. I made a move towards him and threw a fake punch. He flinched and I let out a triumphant laugh. When he had gathered himself together and asked his question again, my smirk disappeared. I cleared my throat and started to speak but then stopped, shaking my head. That's when Mark looked perplexed and said, "What?" My face took on an innocent look and I smiled at him. "Well, it's nothing really, just an idea, kind of a joke around the bank." I paused waiting for him to say something but when he didn't I continued, "If you laugh I'll kill you." I said grinning as he chuckled. "Me and the girls at work have a joke about money and fingerprints. It started off with Jill saying we would have a better world without money than one of the other girls, I think it was Lindsay, said something like: then where would the government get all of our fingerprints. Ok, so maybe you had to be there, but oh well, the point is I could get a clean coin and let her handle it." Mark sighed and carefully whispered, "But how could we get her to handle a coin?" I sighed and said between clenched teeth, "I don't know." For the next two hours we shared different ideas about how we could get Brooke to handle a coin. We came up with ideas that seemed to come right out of a RL Stein show or a Goodfellow Chronicles book. They were interesting enough ideas, but they were either too unrealistic or were too elaborate. It was 3:00 p.m. when I came up with something plausible. "Why do we have to make it into a big scene? Why can't I just do what it is we want with no strings attached? I could go into the school and do a show thing for the kids and pick Brooke as a volunteer and teach the kids how people get their fingerprints on paper...it could be one of those safe and aware seminar things." Mark scowled, "I don't know, that seems like we are involving too many people. Let's just keep it simple. We could be selling something and be wearing gloves or something and give her a clean coin for change and get her to touch it then say it was the wrong change and give her some different coins." I jumped up from the couch beaming. "That's perfect! Thanks Mark...so does this mean you'll help me?" I looked longingly down at him. And he exhaled noisily, but smiled and said in a gentle voice, "Yes, I'll help you, I know how much family means to you." My heart melted and I said, "Thanks so much Mark. After that night 10 years ago, I just, arh. I had replayed that night so many times in my head, if only I didn't go to that party or if only I hadn't drank that much. It started to eat away at my life when I was pregnant, but I knew I wanted to keep my child no matter what. After she was born and when my mom took her and gave her to the adoption agency, I was so angry with her. I didn't want to go on, I didn't know what to do. I almost let it consume my life, but I realized that if I ever wanted her back I would have to turn my life around. I worked hard in school, I got a good job, moved out from my parents house and into a better neighbourhood and I even sent my parents money in the mail so they could make a better life for themselves in hopes that my daughter would have a good grandparents. I've been searching for her for all of my life since I was 16 and even more in the past two years. I'm so close now, I can feel it. Any bit of help you could give me would have been appreciated, but you have given me so much more than that, you've been my friend and you're just amazing, thank-you." He stood up as a silent tear rolled down my cheek. "Oh Elli, you're welcome, I know you'd always be there for me..." He trailed off as more tears come streaming down my face. Mark hugged me and as I inhaled deep breathes and recovered my composure. I wiped the tears from my face and broke away from his embrace. I smiled up at him and whispered a thanks. "Wanna grab some dinner?" I smiled and nodded.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
I had everything ready. I had already called Mark and he was on his way over. I walked over to my kitchen table and sank into my chair. My drowning "Vector Cereal" stared up at me from the white bowl and I plucked my spoon from the soggy wreck, I guess I stayed in the shower too long. Oh well, its still cereal. I shoved the flakes into my mouth. Some people need to have a coffee a day, cereal is like my daily coffee. A buzz came from my intercom and I pressed talk. "Hello?" I said through a mouthful of milk. "Hi! Can I come up?" Mark near-shouted. "Nhn." Was my mumbled reply as I punched the 'open door' button. I turned around and my eyes widened. I wasn't even dressed yet! I sprinted into my bedroom and scrambled to get ready. I was jogging out of the bathroom, after brushing my teeth, when I heard the loud bang on the door. I ran over to it and unlatched the lock. I swung the door open to an impatiently waiting Mark. "Took you long enough. I've been knocking for about 5 minutes!" Mark started in on me. I rolled my eyes and said, "Try one minute. Anyways, I was brushing my teeth. Come on in." He ambled into my apartment and slumped into one of my blacklegged kitchen stools. I idly walked over to a stool on the other side of my island and sat down. "What time do you think we should go?" I asked as he threw his keys onto the venire tabletop. He leaned back to scratch his chest and to yawn. I crossed my arms and licked my lips staring longingly at my medicine cabinet. If Mark was going to bail on me I would need some Tylenol, I could barely handle the situation as it was. "You are still going to help me, right?" I asked hastily. "Now why would you ask me that, of coarse I," Mark started, but was cut off by the fates of gravity as he tumbled to the floor with the stool crashing under him. He let out a little yell and I burst out laughing. "Are you ok?" I managed to say through my giggles. "Yeah I'm fine. Let's go now." Mark said as he got up, this time he was rubbing his back. I smiled reassuringly and grabbed my bags. As we drove to the school I kept running through the plan in my head. It was simply really, all we had to do was set up our ice cream stand right outside the school and pray that Brooke would buy one. And if that didn't work, Plan B. was to give her a free ice cream in a bowl and make her hold it and eat it. Since Plan B. seemed a little – ok, really – stupid, we were hoping that God would pity us and help us out.
As soon as we got there it was five minutes until the lunch bell rang. We rushed to set up and finished just as we heard the loud ringing noise and my heart jumped as I saw Brooke walk out laughing with five or six friends. Ok, show time.
"Hi girls, would you like to buy some ice cream cones?" I asked in my gleeful voice, "They're only 50 cents!" The girls' faces brightened up and soon children surrounded Mark and I. When Brooke reached the front of the line and ordered chocolate mint ice cream, she handed me a dollar. I smiled and reached to recover my clean change. I handed her a quarter and a dime making sure her fingertips touched the coins. As she turned away I yelled,
"Oh, wait! I'm sorry I gave you the wrong change. Sorry about that." I said as I handed her a quarter and took back the dime. When she pocketed the money she smiled and said,
"Thanks, no problem." I could have died right there if it wasn't for the kids that were still in the line's whining. I took my gaze off Brooke only when she turned the corner and began scooping out more ice cream.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
I gave the prints in on a Monday, but they said I wouldn't get the results until the following Saturday. Saturday June 23rd in fact, which happened to be today. I had been sitting by the phone for the last 8 hours and I had already watched three movies. The first, "The Princess Bride", I started at 10:00, the second, "Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" I started around 12:30 after I had had lunch, and the third, "When Harry Met Sally" a little after 3:30. I was in the middle of "When Harry Met Sally" when the phone finally rang.
I swiftly turned off the television and picked up the phone.
"Hello?" I asked into the receiver.
"Hi, Elli Watson? We have your results from the fingerprints you gave us last week." My heart was pounding so loud I was sure that the man on the other end could hear it.
"Um, yes, that's great. Um did um, did they match?" I stuttered, now shaking.
"Yes they did and the written results will be arriving in the mail any time from today until next week." My stomach turned as I shakily whispered,
"Thank-you...for everything...thank-you." I could feel the man's happiness coming through the phone as he said,
"Glad we could help. Bubye now." I heard the click on the other end and I slide my thumb up to the 'end' button. I let the phone fall into my lap as I struggled to remain conscious. It didn't matter now if my mother had ruined my life, because after ten years I still managed to find my daughter and now we would be together. I let my body fall down lengthwise on the couch with my eyes opened like a faucet, pouring out water.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
I stared down at the jeans and tank top I had lying on the bed. It was good to be casual, but I didn't like the looks of this outfit, it looked like I was trying too hard. I threw the outfit aside and rummaged through my closet in search of a more appropriate ensemble. I paused then whipped my head up from within the shelves and stood on my tippy-toes to pull down a pair of black nylon pants. I threw them onto the bed and retrieved a deep green fitted tank top and a gray zip-up sweater. I tried it all on and smiled satisfied, the green tank top matched perfectly with my eyes.
As I walked out of my apartment to my metallic baby blue Mustang, I gulped in the fresh morning air. I am 26 years old and I feel as foolishly giddy as I was when I was 10. While I drove to pick up Brooke I was lost in thought about what she would be like and if she would like me. When I reached 97 McLeod Drive the fair-haired girl was sitting outside on the steps. She was wearing jean overalls and a pink t-shirt and her curly hair was up in a ponytail.
My heart melted when I saw her and as I unbuckled my seatbelt my throat knotted itself. I swallowed and prepared to meet my daughter (as her mother) for the first time in 10 years. I swung the car door open and tentatively planted one foot on the ground. This was it. Another few steps and I would achieve what I have been wanting ever since that day in the hospital, when Brooke was taken from me for what seemed like forever. I still remember her happy face looking up at me. She hadn't cried a lot, but when she did, my mind and body felt compelled to comfort her. That sweet baby face staring up at me had made it all worthwhile and when I held her I didn't care about having to work harder at school or seeing judging eyes watching me with her. I pictured the two of us in an upscale part of town (or at least out of the dump I had called home) sitting in a park with benches and flowers. We would be laughing together and she would bring some flowers to me and I would hold her until my arms fell off. Then we could skip rocks in the nearby brook and splash in its inviting water. That's how I decided to name her Brooke. I swung myself out of my car and up onto the pavement. Brooke was standing now and I noticed her nervous eyes watching me as if I was as drunk as I felt. I took a deep breath and somehow transported myself to where Brooke was waiting. I waved and suddenly felt incredibly weak. Brooke licked her lips and made a quick glace up at me. I smiled timidly and my voice failed on me at first, but I recovered and managed to say, "Um, do you want to stay here or go for a walk or go out for lunch or ...what?" This time she looked me straight on and her eyes searched mine in a judging manor. She sighed, "Lets go for lunch, but get take-out and eat it somewhere else." Brooke said flatly. "Sounds good." I said. Well this was going great, I mused sarcastically. When I pulled away from the curb, I turned on the radio, a reflex of mine. Almost as soon as the noise came through the speakers, I terminated it. "Sorry, me and my routines. What's your favourite radio station?" I asked. Brooke looked up at me amazed I was asking her. I shifted in my seat uncomfortably and she answered in a more confident voice this time, "Um, I don't care what we listen to, but I like fm96 best, I think." I smiled and said, "Alright! Same with me!" I grinned as she smiled, "So, where do you wanna go to get lunch?" "Swiss Chalet." Brooke answered immediately after I asked. I smiled, "Oh yummy, Swiss Chalet it is then." We drove for about 5 more minutes before we reached the restaurant. After we ordered and took the takeout, we drove around just talking about our friends. I was caught up on Brooke's best friend Sara and she was almost caught up on Mark. I was just about to tell her about him helping me find her, but I paused, considering if that would be a good idea. Luckily my pause was met with more words. "Lets eat in the park." Brooke said and pointed to the side of the road, where trees waved friendly. I smiled and nodded as I pulled into the mini- parking lot. We gathered all of our stuff and walked around on the path looking for a good picnic spot. Brooke stopped abruptly and I crashed into her. "Oh! Sorry, are you ok?" She asked me. "Yup, I'm fine." I grinned up at her from the ground. As I stood up to dust myself off and sauntered over to the spot Brooke had pointed out. I gasped as I saw where I was. It was right by the brook and there were wild flowers all around the patch of clean, green grass. I must have looked creepy, because Brooke backed away from me. I noticed that I had a tear on my cheek and I wiped it away and laughed. "Ooooh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I just...well. Do you want to know how you got your name?" That didn't help matters; she looked just as started as before. "I'm sorry. It's too soon, isn't it." I sighed and set down my lunch on the ground. Brooke stayed rooted to the spot and I glanced up at her. Oh my gosh, my daughter doesn't like me at all. "Oh, Brooke. I don't know what I was thinking...I...I shouldn't have said anything." She frowned at me and whispered, "It's weird. I'm meeting you for the first time and believe me, I've wanted this my whole life. I didn't know whether I would be mad at you or happy to see you, but I have both feelings now. I guess even after you picked me up today, I never really accepted the fact that you're my mother. Even now, I just said it and it seems weird." My face fell, but I tried to make it look less distraught as I spoke, "I understand, I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to say anything. Let's try being friends first, ok?" I awaited a negative answer, but was relieved when she said, "Ok...but I'm still dying to know how I got my name." I nervously chuckled and explained the day in the hospital and my dream. By the time I finished we were sitting on the grass, half-finished lunches sprawled out around us. "Wow, that's kind of freaky." Brooke said as she shifted apprehensively. I smiled and agreed. We sat there in the park, for about another hour, talking about various things. I think that I was slowly repairing the feeble relationship I had with Brooke. "...And then she jumped into the pool screaming about aliens, all because I said that!" We both burst out laughing hysterically as Brooke recalled one of her many adventures with Sara. Between giggles, I managed to say, "Sounds like you two are really good friends!" She grinned broadly and I could see her pearl-white teeth. "Yeah, we are. She's really nice and funny." I smiled and looked at my watch. "Oh, it's three already. I better get you home." We walked lazily back to my car and I drove her home. When she got out of the car she smiled widely at me and said, "Thanks." And was gone. Well the day hadn't gone too badly. I replayed everything in my mind as I drove away. She seemed to like me, except for my little screw up about an hour after meeting her. I can't believe I had been so stupid, my gosh, who would say that! I just hoped it didn't ruin anything that we had going. I sighed, flustered, and stopped at the lights. I was close to Mark's neighborhood now and I grabbed my cell phone from my purse. I pressed speed dial 1, and waited as the first ring's echo faded. The second ring was picking up its pitch, when it was interrupted by Mark's cheerful voice. "Hey Mark, mind if I drop by? I can grab us some dinner at McDonalds on the way if you want." I was starving so I was hoping I could have an excuse to get some food. "Um, sure, just get me a Big Mac combo please." Mark said. I smiled and answered saying, "Ok, Pepsi? I'll be over soon!" "Yup and thanks, bye." I hung up just as the lights changed. Everything in my life was going great. I met my daughter and I had the best friend in the world. I loved them both so much.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
We had had a few more get-togethers, but this time I picked Brooke up early and we went to the movies. We saw a movie called "Daddy Day-Care" and Brooke had a great time. I took her back to my apartment for lunch and she was astonished at how big it was. I laughed it off and took her for ice cream. It was a beautiful spring day; the sun was shining, the sky was blue with puffy clouds floating around in it, and there was a slight breeze, but just enough to refresh you, so we decided to walk. The whole time I blabbered about Mark and said she had to meet him and that I would love to meet Sara too. We got to the Baskin Robins ice cream parlor and ordered two half and half cones. We both agreed it was far too nice outside to waste the afternoon eating surrounded by walls. Brooke and I started walking back to my place, but we soon stopped and sat on a bus bench across from the Julie's pet store. "Aw, I love puppies! What about you?" I asked Brooke with a hopeful look in my eyes. "Yeah, I love puppies too! I've wanted one for as long as I can remember!" "Alright, me too! High-five!" I said as she slapped my hand. We both grinned and stared at the playful animals chasing each other around the cage. There were a few minutes silence and Brooke looked earnestly and I asked, "What's up kid?" She tried to smile but instead said, "I want...I had fun today. Can we do it again sometime?" I smiled and whispered, "Of course we can do it again. I'm always here for you now, whenever you need me." Brooke smiled, but a concerned look crossed her face again. This time, I mirrored her gaze. "Is there...is there a chance..." she trailed off and sighed. "What is it, don't be afraid." I whispered encouragingly. She sighed and stuttered, "Is there a chance I w-will get t-to live with you?" I felt like I could collapse. She wanted to live with me. "I hope so, but why, don't you like your family?" I asked just to be a good influence. "Well, yeah, they're ok, but you're really nice and you're my mother...and I want to live with you." I smiled at her, but curiosity took over my mind, as usual. "How long have you been with them?" I asked gently. "Um, almost two years," She answered, "that's the longest I've ever had a foster family for." I frowned and a crease appeared on my forehead. "Why weren't you put in an adoption family?" I asked perplexed. Brooke's head lowered against her chest and her gaze was fixed on a blade of grass, although the same colour as them, far from my eyes. I was about to tell her that I didn't need to know, when she answered. "I was. When I was five I was taken from them. They...they h-hurt me. Then I was put in a foster home. I left when I was six...they thought I was too much trouble. Then I lived with an old couple and they kicked me out when I was 7. Then I lived with another family and left in half a year, because they were mean and strict. Then when I was like 7 and a half I came to live with the Adams's and now I'm nine and a half and I'm hoping to go live with you...forever." She looked hopefully up at me and I looked longingly down at her. "You are always welcome at my home, but I don't know if I can get the adoption agency to see that we would be great together. I will try; don't get me wrong, I'll try really hard. Maybe I can move into a house and we can live there..." I was lost in thought and didn't hear what Brooke said until she shook my arm. "Hello, wake up!" "Oh sorry...what did you say?" I asked dazed. "I said I don't want to move into a house, I love your apartment! It's so big and I like the view." I beamed and said, "Thanks. We'll see. Let's go back there and then I should probably get you home." She sprang up from the bench and grabbed my hand to help me up. As we walked along the sidewalk she slide her hand in mine.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Arg, Mark, are you even listening!" I nearly shouted. He looked irritated and said,
"Yes, I'm listening. The foster family that Brooke is with now wants to adopt her and they live in a big house and the husband is a doctor, who, according to you, makes a lot of money. I'm listening to your complaining, don't worry." I glared at him.
"Good, what's wrong with you?" I asked annoyed.
"What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me?" He laughed a cruel snicker and inhaled deeply. "I'm sorry. I just had a terrible day at work...I shouldn't have been that insensitive. Sorry." I shrugged it off and he continued, "Well remember way back when I told you that we might have to re-do the blueprints for the new museum?" I nodded and he went on, "Well I started to do that, re-do the prints, and I was about half way done when they decided they didn't want to build the museum anymore and that they are refusing to pay me. We have to go to court next week and even then we probably won't get enough severance pay. And to top that off I haven't seen you as often as I would like and...yeah." He finished rather awkwardly as I eyed him suspiciously.
"And what?" I inquired. He sighed and said, "It's nothing." I wasn't about to let him get away with giving my curiosity the brush, but I cut off when I opened my mouth to speak. "I haven't seen you with your camera as much lately." He simply stated. "No." I frowned. "What's the matter?" Mark asked genuinely concerned. "Nothing, I just...I can't remember something. I had a question for you that had something to do with my camera or...it was a picture I think." I racked my brain trying to remember what it was. My expression cleared as I let out a gasp of relief. "I remember! What did we do this day...hold on, it's a picture." I got up from my kitchen chair and jogged over to the hanging frame and snatched it off the wall. As I ran back over, Mark got up to meet me half way. I handed him the photo. "Here, this one. What did we do that day, if you can remember, and it looks like you want to tell me something...am I right or am I just imagining things?" As Mark studied the snapshot, his face's creases changed and his lips curled into a smile. "This was last year when I got promoted to Head Architect. We went to celebrate in the park and watch the fireworks...I think it was on Victoria Day too." His perfect smile faltered for a moment, but was soon plastered back on, but not soon enough. "What?" He shook his head and I chose to dismiss it. "So do you remember what you wanted to tell me or what you were thinking or whatever." I asked. He exhaled loudly and whispered, "Yes...I was thinking this and wanting to tell you," Mark paused, "I wanted to tell you that you are the most beautiful person I know and that... That's it, nothing else." He completed his sentence with a sigh. I stood there horrorstruck and whispered, "No, no we are supposed to be just friends. I don't want, I can't...I can't have a relationship. I-I have to go." I stalked over to the door and opened it before realizing that I was in my own residence. "You have to go, please, go." I croaked. Mark sighed and appeared to be upset, but I was too troubled to comprehend that. He sauntered over to me and opened his mouth to say something, but I turned away. I didn't notice him leave, but when I looked back to where he had been, the only thing standing there now was air. I closed the door and banged my fist on it as I began to sob. I slide down against the door with my legs tucked in tightly to my body. Why did he have to do that? Boyfriends were no good and I didn't want anything to do with them ever again. The last one I had knocked me up and left me all alone, the other guys were a blur, but I was certain that they were just as terrible. I can't believe Mark, I guess he just wanted to ruin our friendship; I didn't even like him anyways...As soon as I thought that, I felt a pang in my heart. I stopped crying and looked up and quietly mumbled, "Holy crap. I like him."
* * * * * * * * * * * *
I got the call at 5:00 p.m. on Sunday. I grabbed the phone thinking it was probably solicitors.
"Hello?" I said.
"Hi. Is this Elli Watson?" Came the female voice on the other end. So I was right, solicitors.
"Uh, yes it is."
"Hello Elli, I'm calling from the adoption agency." She paused and when I didn't speak she said, "Is this a good time for you, I can always call back later." I unfroze and quickly replied,
"No, no! This is fine, I have time." My heart raced as I listened to her explain the situation with Brooke and her current foster family. I was very attentive and very frightened. When she finally said,
"We have talked it over with the head board and also with Brooke and we have made a decision about where Brooke should live. We agreed that it is in the child's best interest to stay where she is now. The Adams's will be her guardians and her new adoption family. However, since you are her mother you can visit her whenever you'd like as long as it's ok with Brooke and her family. I know this must be hard for you, but we had to take Brooke's well-being into account. I'm sorry." Water streamed down my face like a waterfall. Brooke, the girl I had been wanting to have ever since the accident, Brooke, my daughter, would never get to live with me, she would never get to be mine.
"Now, depending on what the Adams's say, you may be able to work out a plan, sort of like shared custody, but I need you to remember, this is supposed to be about Brooke not anyone else. Do you have any questions." I was too shocked to say anything and didn't hang up the phone until I heard the irritating beeping that signified a disconnected line.
I cried for hours all alone, I had no one to turn to. Brooke was too young and I would end up scaring her or making her feel guilty and Mark...Mark was mad at me. I cried myself to sleep and woke up at 6:00 a.m. to the blaring buzz of my alarm clock. I shut it off angrily and turned over. There would be no work for me today.
The phone rang almost continually from 9:00 to 12:00. It was probably just that malicious lady from the adoption agency calling to tell me that I could never see my daughter again. I rubbed my puffy red eyes as I mumbled rude comments about the agency woman. My long spew of gibberish words ceased when I heard a pounding at the door. I cursed and tore off my pajamas, which were soon replaced by normal clothes. I sprinted into the bathroom and splashed my face until the redness lessened. I grabbed a hand towel and trotted to the door. I dried my face as I unlatched the door lock, and then quickly tossed the towel aside. I swung the door open to see an unfamiliar face looking at me. "Um, yes?" I asked. The woman was dressed in a pink summer dress and was wearing matching sandals. She looked very controlled, but very sympathetic. She calmly replied, "Hi, Elli? I'm Clair Adams." I stood there, unsure what to do. "Um, hello, uh...come in." I decided I better get on the good side of the woman that controlled the fate of my daughter and I. "Brooke's told me so much about you and I thought it might be nice to stop over and see how you're holding up. I know I would be quite upset if I didn't get custody of Brooke too." She ended rather awkwardly, but came into my apartment anyways. Clair sighed and said, "So, how are you doing? Oh, Brooke says hi by the way." At those words I couldn't control myself, collapsed onto the floor in fits of tears. I spent the whole afternoon spilling my guts out to this woman I had just met. She reassured me in every way possible that I could see Brooke whenever I wanted. "Don't worry! Brooke is like both of our child, but the difference is she knows you are her mother and she will always think of you like that, I am just like an aunt to her! And anytime you want to see her or have her over at your place for like a weekend or whatever is fine with me! You are her mother and you can be with your daughter whenever you want." She said things like this a million times until I started to believe it and stopped blubbering like a baby. "Thank-you. Would you mind bringing her over at about 6:30, you know, so we can have dinner together, I need to see her." She smiled. "Sure, anything to see you two happy." About half an hour later she left me all alone in my house again. Alone wasn't how I wanted to feel right now. I picked up the phone and dialed Mark's number and it rang once before I hung it up abruptly. Mark was still angry; I couldn't call him...or could I? Yes I could, it would be stupid not to, we were still friends, nothing had changed between us, well, nothing really. I breathed in deeply, pressed the 'talk' button, then redial. I heard the receiver lift, but no sound for about 5 seconds. "Hi." Mark said nervously. "Hi Mark. I didn't get Brooke." I just stated it flat out, just like that. We talked for about two hours, until 6:00. I laughed off his disbelief and welcomed his encouragement. My watch alarm signified that I had to start getting dinner ready. "Ok Mark, I have to go, but do you want to come over maybe around 8:00ish, I just don't want to be alone." "You never want to be alone!" He joked, but I responded, "I know. Alone sucks...single sucks. See you at eight!" I hung up before he could reply. I grinned, I did it, hopefully now he understand how I feel, either that or he's just really confused, I mused. Hopefully it's the first one; I want him to know I like him too.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Dinner was great thanks!" Brooke praised me. It was amazing how one person could fill an entire room with a warm presence. I smiled at her and glanced at my watch.
"No problem kid! But Clair said she would come and get you at 7:45, so we only have about ten more minutes. Are you..." I trailed off not knowing if I should ask, but concluded that it would be kind, "Are you ok with everything?" Brooke looked quizzically up at me and said,
"I think so. Clair says that I can see you whenever I want which is what I really wanted anyways. And she says that I can maybe have sleepovers here with you...if you want." I beamed at her and said,
"Of course that's fine! Clair sounds really nice."
"She is, she's even letting me re-do my room!" The intercom buzzed, speak of the devil.
"Hi Elli, hi Brooke, it's me Clair."
"Hi Clair, come on up!" I said. I turned to Brooke and motioned for her to rise.
"I'll see what I can do about that sleepover, for this weekend maybe, ok?" I asked Brooke. She giggled and answered,
"That's great!" I grinned down at her and said,
"Now come 'ere! I want a hug!" Her curly blonde hair bounced as she wrapped her arms around my waist.
"I love you...mom"
"I love you too." I whispered as I kissed her head before she headed out the door.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Mark's knock came at 8:17. "Mark! What happened, are you ok?" I interrogated him upon his arrival. He laughed and shouldered the big box he was carrying. "I'm fine, traffic was bad, that's why I'm late." He explained. He was a bad liar, but I let it go. "Come in, come in!" I said as I ushered him into the apartment. This time when Mrs. Bellofield looked at me, I just licked my lips, smiled and shut the door. When I turned to face him, Mark had put the box down. "What's in the box?" I asked. He yawned and said, "Just some blueprints I picked up from work." His beautiful ocean-coloured eyes skimmed my walls and pictures. He walked up to them and studied them as he moved along the wall. I quickly caught up with him when he paused at the picture I had inquired about before. I glanced curiously up at him and he said, "You wanted to know what I was going to tell you that day...I wanted to tell you that you were impossibly beautiful, but also I wanted to tell you that I love you." He finished and looked at me thoughtfully. My knees quivered as I swung my arms about his neck. "I love you too! I'm so sorry about before, I was just scared, the last time I had a boyfriend was ten years ago and I..." I was cut off when he kissed me. I heard an odd noise from behind me and turned my back on the wall and faced the box. Mark's fingers intertwined with mine and said, "Something so you will never be alone again." As soon as he said that, I heard a puppy bark emanate from the box.
Alone
I've been watching her for six months...and I think she's the one. I let myself fall back against the big oak tree-my cover from unwanted eyes-as the girl attempted to skip with a yellow rope. She giggled an enchanting sound that could make anyone smile and for a second I wondered if I was doing the right thing. Yes, of course I'm doing the right thing, family belongs together. I sighed and murmured,
"Stupid mom." A tear welled in my eye and I hastily blinked it back. The bell rang and I heard someone yell "Brooke!" My eyes widened and I jumping up, straining my neck to see who answered. I almost cried
again when I saw the girl shout out in a gleeful chant,
"Coming, coming, coming, coming!" It was her, it was Brooke. I wanted to sprint over right then and gather her into my arms and hold her for the rest of eternity. I bit my lip, shoved my hands in my pockets, and shut my eyes tightly...it was all I could do to stop myself from letting my
heart take over my mind.
I sat by the school for about two hours thinking about what I had just seen. I wanted her to be mine so much, but there wasn't any way I
could find out right then. I'd have to wait and try to get her D.N.A. somehow. But that could be hard. I sighed and suddenly felt very small. I sat there with my back against the tree thinking about how my life had been torn out of my grasp and how my mom screwed it all up for me. I was falling back into that hole I had dug myself when I was only 16. I sat up straight and took at deep breath. I forced myself to go through all of the good things I had in my life, because it had taken me ten years to climb out of that ditch, and I didn't want to fall back in again. I gasped as I remembered the fingerprints I had had made of my daughter before she was
taken from me. I smiled and a tear threatened to emerge. I blinked it back and decided how I would find out if the Brooke at the school was in fact my Brooke. Of course as a manager at the bank, I knew that everyone
there jokes about how the government takes the coins to have our
fingerprints on file. It would be simple to get Brooke to handle a previously cleaned coin and that's all I would need to find out whether or not this golden-haired cutie was mine or just belonged to a lucky couple. I spent roughly another hour or so, dreaming about what type of things I could do with Brooke and what she would be like, if this girl was in fact her (my daughter). This time I couldn't control the overflow of emotions,
which chose to exit through my eyes. By the time I left, my sleeve was blotched with wetness, but I was relieved I hadn't worn mascara that day. I had taken the day off work, so I was free for the whole afternoon. I grabbed a "Lean Cuisine" from the freezer and stuck it into the microwave for five minutes. I turned around quickly to face my fridge, but in the process stubbed my big toe. The pain surged though it and my toe throbbed as if struggling to remain attached to my foot. I cursed and held my toe joint for a minute and hopped over to the couch, abandoning my idea to get a drink. I collapsed into the couch and massaged my toe for a good 2 minutes. The pain that had been so agonizing was now nearly gone. I let my foot drop to the ground and fell back into the puffy leather backing on the couch. I blinked, but held my eyes closed for longer than normal, thinking about my eventful day. When I opened my eyes about 30 seconds later and found a fimiliar face staring down at me. I smiled and whispered, "'Lo Mark." No reply came from his forever-laughing mouth, after all pictures can't talk. I had taken that photo about a year ago, when we had spent the day at the park initially there to go fishing, but there were no boats left to rent. Instead we just walked around envying the small children who didn't know what the real world was like yet. We fed the ducks and had a picnic too. It was a perfect day. Mark was an amazing guy, he's my best friend and has been ever since I moved away from my parent's home. I glanced around the room at the several dozen pictures that hung on the walls. I inhaled a large amount of air and pushed myself up from the heavenly couch. I walked idly around the room staring into each picture, trying to transport myself back to the very second that the camera made a click. I reached my favourite picture and paused there. It was of Mark. He looked great in that picture, not that he didn't look amazing in real life either. He was very attractive with broad shoulders, a muscular body, and a head of hair that people would kill for. He was a little taller than me, but I could still clearly see his face. That was my favourite part of him, his face. He had ocean coloured eyes that seemed to reflect everything he looked at and his smile was flawless, lined with straight, white teeth and he had never had braces. I smiled, he was naturally perfect. I was staring into the picture when I noticed something I had never seen before; it was as if the picture had changed, taken on a new meaning. I touched my finger to the glass and a crease appeared on my forehead. It wasn't that he didn't still look hot, but he looked as if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. He was smiling broadly, but his eyes looked as if he wanted to tell me something. I frowned wondering what we did that day, but I had drawn a blank. I nearly jumped when I heard the beep of the microwave. I would have to ask him about that picture later. After I ate and got a little more freshened up for the day, I decided to call Mark. Then I could ask him about the picture. I picked up the phone and dialed the too familiar number, listening to the bouncing tune of the buttons. It rang once before I heard the receiver lift on the other end of the line. "Hey Elli!" came Marks vioce. Since, he had caller I.D., he knew it was me. I replied saying,
"Hi Mark, are you busy today? I'm bored stiff and have the day off work, so I'd love to do something, if your free." "Sure, I'd love to!" the reply came almost before I had even giving out the invitation. I smiled, "Great, lets meet here, at my place, around 1 oclockish?" "Sounds like a good plan to me, see you then." "Alright, bubye." I pressed the 'end' button on the see-through, blue-tint telephone. Then I placed it on the reciever as I swung around the corner and plopped onto my couch. I grabbed the remote from the glass top of my black-framed side-table and flicked on the TV. Mark came to my house at 12:57 pm; he always seemed to be early, unlike me. I ushered him into my apartment, avoiding the suspicious eyes of my neighbour, Mrs. Bellofield. She always thought there was something going on between us, despite the numorous times that I had firmly told her we were just friends. Mark slumped onto my black leather couch and sighed as if letting out all of his troubles. Then he spoke; "Boy, I had a stressful day. I had to present my blueprints for the new building I was telling you about, you know, the new art museum. They just told me that they had some budget cuts, because one of their donators bailed on them and wouldn't give them a penny towards the operation. I might have to re-draw the whole thing and well that would take a looong time. Do you have any beer around here?" He finished, foolishly grinning up at me. I rolled my eyes and answered, "You know I don't drink and no I haven't decided to keep a stash for you as you suggested before." Now it was my turn to grin as he let out an "aw" in agony. "But I guess I should let you go easily for now, it does sound like you had a busy day." He sighed again and said, "Yeah, but you know, my job isn't exactly what one would call ideal. I do love it though. So you had the day off, eh? What did you do to waste the morning?" He looked quizzically up at me and I almost paniced. I caught myself just in time. Oh crap, in an instant I considered my options. I could either tell Mark and hear his big lecture and be considered as a dangerous psychotic by him or I could make up a fib. The second option sounded like the easy way out and I was about to take it when I paused. Mark sensed my reluctance and a look of concern flashed across his face. I didn't like lying to Mark, but if I wanted to get around to the picture, I'd need to leave time. About three seconds after I was asked the question, I answered it, "Oh, I don't know, slept in and goggled at the puppies across the street." Ok, not a bad lie, a little late, but not bad, I decided, after all, I always stared longingly at the puppies in Julie's store. He cocked his head to the side and narrowed his eyes. "Nice try, El, but you spent a little too much time coming up with that. And it wasn't even very good." he joked, "But, seriously, what were you doing?" I closed my eyes. Defeated, that wasn't the only word that popped into my head as my brain scrambled to create a plausable explanation and none came to mind. I opened my eyes, time to fess up. I sighed and Mark whispered a few words trying to encourage me to open up. I nodded along occasionally saying a 'yes' here and an 'I know' there, but the whole time he spoke I was thinking, willing him to shut up. This was hard enough for me to tell without one of his lectures. When I heard him say something about truth being the most important thing in friendship, I held up my hand, a silent sign for him to be quite. I opened my mouth to speak, but ended up closing it and shaking my head. I held my face in my hands for a moment and then brushed my hair out of my eyes with the back of my hand. I sighed and said, "Ok, fine, you really wanna know?" I didn't let him answer and kept going, "I was at the school." I paused and he cut in, "Doing what?" I glared at him and I think he got the point that I didn't want to be interrupted. I continued, "I was at the school...to see Brooke." Marks posture improved as he was trying to compose himself. His eyebrows were poised and he looked like he was about to say something, but held it back. It was silent for at least a minute and I rolled my eyes. "This is ridiculous, say something!" I finally said. He sighed and said, "How do you know it's, well you know, your Brooke?" "I don't! That's what makes it so crazy, but I think I know how I can figure it out." He looked deep into my eyes and smiled. He made a gesture with his hands and said, "Go on..." I grabbed his hand and held it in my own and a burst of words came spewing out of my mouth, "Ok, well you know how when I first told you about Brooke, I showed you those fingerprints I had of hers?" He nodded and I continued, "Ok well, I could take that to one of the fingerprint matching stores or whatever with a copy of fingerprints from the Brooke at the school. Make sense?" I clutched his hand really tightly and he sighed. "Yes it makes sense, but how do you plan to get her fingerprints?" I released his hand and he touched his index finger to my nose and then retracted it back to his neck where a cracking noise soon emanated. "Will you stop that, I hate it when you crack your neck!" He tilted his head and gave me an evil look and cracked his neck even louder. I made a move towards him and threw a fake punch. He flinched and I let out a triumphant laugh. When he had gathered himself together and asked his question again, my smirk disappeared. I cleared my throat and started to speak but then stopped, shaking my head. That's when Mark looked perplexed and said, "What?" My face took on an innocent look and I smiled at him. "Well, it's nothing really, just an idea, kind of a joke around the bank." I paused waiting for him to say something but when he didn't I continued, "If you laugh I'll kill you." I said grinning as he chuckled. "Me and the girls at work have a joke about money and fingerprints. It started off with Jill saying we would have a better world without money than one of the other girls, I think it was Lindsay, said something like: then where would the government get all of our fingerprints. Ok, so maybe you had to be there, but oh well, the point is I could get a clean coin and let her handle it." Mark sighed and carefully whispered, "But how could we get her to handle a coin?" I sighed and said between clenched teeth, "I don't know." For the next two hours we shared different ideas about how we could get Brooke to handle a coin. We came up with ideas that seemed to come right out of a RL Stein show or a Goodfellow Chronicles book. They were interesting enough ideas, but they were either too unrealistic or were too elaborate. It was 3:00 p.m. when I came up with something plausible. "Why do we have to make it into a big scene? Why can't I just do what it is we want with no strings attached? I could go into the school and do a show thing for the kids and pick Brooke as a volunteer and teach the kids how people get their fingerprints on paper...it could be one of those safe and aware seminar things." Mark scowled, "I don't know, that seems like we are involving too many people. Let's just keep it simple. We could be selling something and be wearing gloves or something and give her a clean coin for change and get her to touch it then say it was the wrong change and give her some different coins." I jumped up from the couch beaming. "That's perfect! Thanks Mark...so does this mean you'll help me?" I looked longingly down at him. And he exhaled noisily, but smiled and said in a gentle voice, "Yes, I'll help you, I know how much family means to you." My heart melted and I said, "Thanks so much Mark. After that night 10 years ago, I just, arh. I had replayed that night so many times in my head, if only I didn't go to that party or if only I hadn't drank that much. It started to eat away at my life when I was pregnant, but I knew I wanted to keep my child no matter what. After she was born and when my mom took her and gave her to the adoption agency, I was so angry with her. I didn't want to go on, I didn't know what to do. I almost let it consume my life, but I realized that if I ever wanted her back I would have to turn my life around. I worked hard in school, I got a good job, moved out from my parents house and into a better neighbourhood and I even sent my parents money in the mail so they could make a better life for themselves in hopes that my daughter would have a good grandparents. I've been searching for her for all of my life since I was 16 and even more in the past two years. I'm so close now, I can feel it. Any bit of help you could give me would have been appreciated, but you have given me so much more than that, you've been my friend and you're just amazing, thank-you." He stood up as a silent tear rolled down my cheek. "Oh Elli, you're welcome, I know you'd always be there for me..." He trailed off as more tears come streaming down my face. Mark hugged me and as I inhaled deep breathes and recovered my composure. I wiped the tears from my face and broke away from his embrace. I smiled up at him and whispered a thanks. "Wanna grab some dinner?" I smiled and nodded.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
I had everything ready. I had already called Mark and he was on his way over. I walked over to my kitchen table and sank into my chair. My drowning "Vector Cereal" stared up at me from the white bowl and I plucked my spoon from the soggy wreck, I guess I stayed in the shower too long. Oh well, its still cereal. I shoved the flakes into my mouth. Some people need to have a coffee a day, cereal is like my daily coffee. A buzz came from my intercom and I pressed talk. "Hello?" I said through a mouthful of milk. "Hi! Can I come up?" Mark near-shouted. "Nhn." Was my mumbled reply as I punched the 'open door' button. I turned around and my eyes widened. I wasn't even dressed yet! I sprinted into my bedroom and scrambled to get ready. I was jogging out of the bathroom, after brushing my teeth, when I heard the loud bang on the door. I ran over to it and unlatched the lock. I swung the door open to an impatiently waiting Mark. "Took you long enough. I've been knocking for about 5 minutes!" Mark started in on me. I rolled my eyes and said, "Try one minute. Anyways, I was brushing my teeth. Come on in." He ambled into my apartment and slumped into one of my blacklegged kitchen stools. I idly walked over to a stool on the other side of my island and sat down. "What time do you think we should go?" I asked as he threw his keys onto the venire tabletop. He leaned back to scratch his chest and to yawn. I crossed my arms and licked my lips staring longingly at my medicine cabinet. If Mark was going to bail on me I would need some Tylenol, I could barely handle the situation as it was. "You are still going to help me, right?" I asked hastily. "Now why would you ask me that, of coarse I," Mark started, but was cut off by the fates of gravity as he tumbled to the floor with the stool crashing under him. He let out a little yell and I burst out laughing. "Are you ok?" I managed to say through my giggles. "Yeah I'm fine. Let's go now." Mark said as he got up, this time he was rubbing his back. I smiled reassuringly and grabbed my bags. As we drove to the school I kept running through the plan in my head. It was simply really, all we had to do was set up our ice cream stand right outside the school and pray that Brooke would buy one. And if that didn't work, Plan B. was to give her a free ice cream in a bowl and make her hold it and eat it. Since Plan B. seemed a little – ok, really – stupid, we were hoping that God would pity us and help us out.
As soon as we got there it was five minutes until the lunch bell rang. We rushed to set up and finished just as we heard the loud ringing noise and my heart jumped as I saw Brooke walk out laughing with five or six friends. Ok, show time.
"Hi girls, would you like to buy some ice cream cones?" I asked in my gleeful voice, "They're only 50 cents!" The girls' faces brightened up and soon children surrounded Mark and I. When Brooke reached the front of the line and ordered chocolate mint ice cream, she handed me a dollar. I smiled and reached to recover my clean change. I handed her a quarter and a dime making sure her fingertips touched the coins. As she turned away I yelled,
"Oh, wait! I'm sorry I gave you the wrong change. Sorry about that." I said as I handed her a quarter and took back the dime. When she pocketed the money she smiled and said,
"Thanks, no problem." I could have died right there if it wasn't for the kids that were still in the line's whining. I took my gaze off Brooke only when she turned the corner and began scooping out more ice cream.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
I gave the prints in on a Monday, but they said I wouldn't get the results until the following Saturday. Saturday June 23rd in fact, which happened to be today. I had been sitting by the phone for the last 8 hours and I had already watched three movies. The first, "The Princess Bride", I started at 10:00, the second, "Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" I started around 12:30 after I had had lunch, and the third, "When Harry Met Sally" a little after 3:30. I was in the middle of "When Harry Met Sally" when the phone finally rang.
I swiftly turned off the television and picked up the phone.
"Hello?" I asked into the receiver.
"Hi, Elli Watson? We have your results from the fingerprints you gave us last week." My heart was pounding so loud I was sure that the man on the other end could hear it.
"Um, yes, that's great. Um did um, did they match?" I stuttered, now shaking.
"Yes they did and the written results will be arriving in the mail any time from today until next week." My stomach turned as I shakily whispered,
"Thank-you...for everything...thank-you." I could feel the man's happiness coming through the phone as he said,
"Glad we could help. Bubye now." I heard the click on the other end and I slide my thumb up to the 'end' button. I let the phone fall into my lap as I struggled to remain conscious. It didn't matter now if my mother had ruined my life, because after ten years I still managed to find my daughter and now we would be together. I let my body fall down lengthwise on the couch with my eyes opened like a faucet, pouring out water.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
I stared down at the jeans and tank top I had lying on the bed. It was good to be casual, but I didn't like the looks of this outfit, it looked like I was trying too hard. I threw the outfit aside and rummaged through my closet in search of a more appropriate ensemble. I paused then whipped my head up from within the shelves and stood on my tippy-toes to pull down a pair of black nylon pants. I threw them onto the bed and retrieved a deep green fitted tank top and a gray zip-up sweater. I tried it all on and smiled satisfied, the green tank top matched perfectly with my eyes.
As I walked out of my apartment to my metallic baby blue Mustang, I gulped in the fresh morning air. I am 26 years old and I feel as foolishly giddy as I was when I was 10. While I drove to pick up Brooke I was lost in thought about what she would be like and if she would like me. When I reached 97 McLeod Drive the fair-haired girl was sitting outside on the steps. She was wearing jean overalls and a pink t-shirt and her curly hair was up in a ponytail.
My heart melted when I saw her and as I unbuckled my seatbelt my throat knotted itself. I swallowed and prepared to meet my daughter (as her mother) for the first time in 10 years. I swung the car door open and tentatively planted one foot on the ground. This was it. Another few steps and I would achieve what I have been wanting ever since that day in the hospital, when Brooke was taken from me for what seemed like forever. I still remember her happy face looking up at me. She hadn't cried a lot, but when she did, my mind and body felt compelled to comfort her. That sweet baby face staring up at me had made it all worthwhile and when I held her I didn't care about having to work harder at school or seeing judging eyes watching me with her. I pictured the two of us in an upscale part of town (or at least out of the dump I had called home) sitting in a park with benches and flowers. We would be laughing together and she would bring some flowers to me and I would hold her until my arms fell off. Then we could skip rocks in the nearby brook and splash in its inviting water. That's how I decided to name her Brooke. I swung myself out of my car and up onto the pavement. Brooke was standing now and I noticed her nervous eyes watching me as if I was as drunk as I felt. I took a deep breath and somehow transported myself to where Brooke was waiting. I waved and suddenly felt incredibly weak. Brooke licked her lips and made a quick glace up at me. I smiled timidly and my voice failed on me at first, but I recovered and managed to say, "Um, do you want to stay here or go for a walk or go out for lunch or ...what?" This time she looked me straight on and her eyes searched mine in a judging manor. She sighed, "Lets go for lunch, but get take-out and eat it somewhere else." Brooke said flatly. "Sounds good." I said. Well this was going great, I mused sarcastically. When I pulled away from the curb, I turned on the radio, a reflex of mine. Almost as soon as the noise came through the speakers, I terminated it. "Sorry, me and my routines. What's your favourite radio station?" I asked. Brooke looked up at me amazed I was asking her. I shifted in my seat uncomfortably and she answered in a more confident voice this time, "Um, I don't care what we listen to, but I like fm96 best, I think." I smiled and said, "Alright! Same with me!" I grinned as she smiled, "So, where do you wanna go to get lunch?" "Swiss Chalet." Brooke answered immediately after I asked. I smiled, "Oh yummy, Swiss Chalet it is then." We drove for about 5 more minutes before we reached the restaurant. After we ordered and took the takeout, we drove around just talking about our friends. I was caught up on Brooke's best friend Sara and she was almost caught up on Mark. I was just about to tell her about him helping me find her, but I paused, considering if that would be a good idea. Luckily my pause was met with more words. "Lets eat in the park." Brooke said and pointed to the side of the road, where trees waved friendly. I smiled and nodded as I pulled into the mini- parking lot. We gathered all of our stuff and walked around on the path looking for a good picnic spot. Brooke stopped abruptly and I crashed into her. "Oh! Sorry, are you ok?" She asked me. "Yup, I'm fine." I grinned up at her from the ground. As I stood up to dust myself off and sauntered over to the spot Brooke had pointed out. I gasped as I saw where I was. It was right by the brook and there were wild flowers all around the patch of clean, green grass. I must have looked creepy, because Brooke backed away from me. I noticed that I had a tear on my cheek and I wiped it away and laughed. "Ooooh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I just...well. Do you want to know how you got your name?" That didn't help matters; she looked just as started as before. "I'm sorry. It's too soon, isn't it." I sighed and set down my lunch on the ground. Brooke stayed rooted to the spot and I glanced up at her. Oh my gosh, my daughter doesn't like me at all. "Oh, Brooke. I don't know what I was thinking...I...I shouldn't have said anything." She frowned at me and whispered, "It's weird. I'm meeting you for the first time and believe me, I've wanted this my whole life. I didn't know whether I would be mad at you or happy to see you, but I have both feelings now. I guess even after you picked me up today, I never really accepted the fact that you're my mother. Even now, I just said it and it seems weird." My face fell, but I tried to make it look less distraught as I spoke, "I understand, I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to say anything. Let's try being friends first, ok?" I awaited a negative answer, but was relieved when she said, "Ok...but I'm still dying to know how I got my name." I nervously chuckled and explained the day in the hospital and my dream. By the time I finished we were sitting on the grass, half-finished lunches sprawled out around us. "Wow, that's kind of freaky." Brooke said as she shifted apprehensively. I smiled and agreed. We sat there in the park, for about another hour, talking about various things. I think that I was slowly repairing the feeble relationship I had with Brooke. "...And then she jumped into the pool screaming about aliens, all because I said that!" We both burst out laughing hysterically as Brooke recalled one of her many adventures with Sara. Between giggles, I managed to say, "Sounds like you two are really good friends!" She grinned broadly and I could see her pearl-white teeth. "Yeah, we are. She's really nice and funny." I smiled and looked at my watch. "Oh, it's three already. I better get you home." We walked lazily back to my car and I drove her home. When she got out of the car she smiled widely at me and said, "Thanks." And was gone. Well the day hadn't gone too badly. I replayed everything in my mind as I drove away. She seemed to like me, except for my little screw up about an hour after meeting her. I can't believe I had been so stupid, my gosh, who would say that! I just hoped it didn't ruin anything that we had going. I sighed, flustered, and stopped at the lights. I was close to Mark's neighborhood now and I grabbed my cell phone from my purse. I pressed speed dial 1, and waited as the first ring's echo faded. The second ring was picking up its pitch, when it was interrupted by Mark's cheerful voice. "Hey Mark, mind if I drop by? I can grab us some dinner at McDonalds on the way if you want." I was starving so I was hoping I could have an excuse to get some food. "Um, sure, just get me a Big Mac combo please." Mark said. I smiled and answered saying, "Ok, Pepsi? I'll be over soon!" "Yup and thanks, bye." I hung up just as the lights changed. Everything in my life was going great. I met my daughter and I had the best friend in the world. I loved them both so much.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
We had had a few more get-togethers, but this time I picked Brooke up early and we went to the movies. We saw a movie called "Daddy Day-Care" and Brooke had a great time. I took her back to my apartment for lunch and she was astonished at how big it was. I laughed it off and took her for ice cream. It was a beautiful spring day; the sun was shining, the sky was blue with puffy clouds floating around in it, and there was a slight breeze, but just enough to refresh you, so we decided to walk. The whole time I blabbered about Mark and said she had to meet him and that I would love to meet Sara too. We got to the Baskin Robins ice cream parlor and ordered two half and half cones. We both agreed it was far too nice outside to waste the afternoon eating surrounded by walls. Brooke and I started walking back to my place, but we soon stopped and sat on a bus bench across from the Julie's pet store. "Aw, I love puppies! What about you?" I asked Brooke with a hopeful look in my eyes. "Yeah, I love puppies too! I've wanted one for as long as I can remember!" "Alright, me too! High-five!" I said as she slapped my hand. We both grinned and stared at the playful animals chasing each other around the cage. There were a few minutes silence and Brooke looked earnestly and I asked, "What's up kid?" She tried to smile but instead said, "I want...I had fun today. Can we do it again sometime?" I smiled and whispered, "Of course we can do it again. I'm always here for you now, whenever you need me." Brooke smiled, but a concerned look crossed her face again. This time, I mirrored her gaze. "Is there...is there a chance..." she trailed off and sighed. "What is it, don't be afraid." I whispered encouragingly. She sighed and stuttered, "Is there a chance I w-will get t-to live with you?" I felt like I could collapse. She wanted to live with me. "I hope so, but why, don't you like your family?" I asked just to be a good influence. "Well, yeah, they're ok, but you're really nice and you're my mother...and I want to live with you." I smiled at her, but curiosity took over my mind, as usual. "How long have you been with them?" I asked gently. "Um, almost two years," She answered, "that's the longest I've ever had a foster family for." I frowned and a crease appeared on my forehead. "Why weren't you put in an adoption family?" I asked perplexed. Brooke's head lowered against her chest and her gaze was fixed on a blade of grass, although the same colour as them, far from my eyes. I was about to tell her that I didn't need to know, when she answered. "I was. When I was five I was taken from them. They...they h-hurt me. Then I was put in a foster home. I left when I was six...they thought I was too much trouble. Then I lived with an old couple and they kicked me out when I was 7. Then I lived with another family and left in half a year, because they were mean and strict. Then when I was like 7 and a half I came to live with the Adams's and now I'm nine and a half and I'm hoping to go live with you...forever." She looked hopefully up at me and I looked longingly down at her. "You are always welcome at my home, but I don't know if I can get the adoption agency to see that we would be great together. I will try; don't get me wrong, I'll try really hard. Maybe I can move into a house and we can live there..." I was lost in thought and didn't hear what Brooke said until she shook my arm. "Hello, wake up!" "Oh sorry...what did you say?" I asked dazed. "I said I don't want to move into a house, I love your apartment! It's so big and I like the view." I beamed and said, "Thanks. We'll see. Let's go back there and then I should probably get you home." She sprang up from the bench and grabbed my hand to help me up. As we walked along the sidewalk she slide her hand in mine.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Arg, Mark, are you even listening!" I nearly shouted. He looked irritated and said,
"Yes, I'm listening. The foster family that Brooke is with now wants to adopt her and they live in a big house and the husband is a doctor, who, according to you, makes a lot of money. I'm listening to your complaining, don't worry." I glared at him.
"Good, what's wrong with you?" I asked annoyed.
"What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me?" He laughed a cruel snicker and inhaled deeply. "I'm sorry. I just had a terrible day at work...I shouldn't have been that insensitive. Sorry." I shrugged it off and he continued, "Well remember way back when I told you that we might have to re-do the blueprints for the new museum?" I nodded and he went on, "Well I started to do that, re-do the prints, and I was about half way done when they decided they didn't want to build the museum anymore and that they are refusing to pay me. We have to go to court next week and even then we probably won't get enough severance pay. And to top that off I haven't seen you as often as I would like and...yeah." He finished rather awkwardly as I eyed him suspiciously.
"And what?" I inquired. He sighed and said, "It's nothing." I wasn't about to let him get away with giving my curiosity the brush, but I cut off when I opened my mouth to speak. "I haven't seen you with your camera as much lately." He simply stated. "No." I frowned. "What's the matter?" Mark asked genuinely concerned. "Nothing, I just...I can't remember something. I had a question for you that had something to do with my camera or...it was a picture I think." I racked my brain trying to remember what it was. My expression cleared as I let out a gasp of relief. "I remember! What did we do this day...hold on, it's a picture." I got up from my kitchen chair and jogged over to the hanging frame and snatched it off the wall. As I ran back over, Mark got up to meet me half way. I handed him the photo. "Here, this one. What did we do that day, if you can remember, and it looks like you want to tell me something...am I right or am I just imagining things?" As Mark studied the snapshot, his face's creases changed and his lips curled into a smile. "This was last year when I got promoted to Head Architect. We went to celebrate in the park and watch the fireworks...I think it was on Victoria Day too." His perfect smile faltered for a moment, but was soon plastered back on, but not soon enough. "What?" He shook his head and I chose to dismiss it. "So do you remember what you wanted to tell me or what you were thinking or whatever." I asked. He exhaled loudly and whispered, "Yes...I was thinking this and wanting to tell you," Mark paused, "I wanted to tell you that you are the most beautiful person I know and that... That's it, nothing else." He completed his sentence with a sigh. I stood there horrorstruck and whispered, "No, no we are supposed to be just friends. I don't want, I can't...I can't have a relationship. I-I have to go." I stalked over to the door and opened it before realizing that I was in my own residence. "You have to go, please, go." I croaked. Mark sighed and appeared to be upset, but I was too troubled to comprehend that. He sauntered over to me and opened his mouth to say something, but I turned away. I didn't notice him leave, but when I looked back to where he had been, the only thing standing there now was air. I closed the door and banged my fist on it as I began to sob. I slide down against the door with my legs tucked in tightly to my body. Why did he have to do that? Boyfriends were no good and I didn't want anything to do with them ever again. The last one I had knocked me up and left me all alone, the other guys were a blur, but I was certain that they were just as terrible. I can't believe Mark, I guess he just wanted to ruin our friendship; I didn't even like him anyways...As soon as I thought that, I felt a pang in my heart. I stopped crying and looked up and quietly mumbled, "Holy crap. I like him."
* * * * * * * * * * * *
I got the call at 5:00 p.m. on Sunday. I grabbed the phone thinking it was probably solicitors.
"Hello?" I said.
"Hi. Is this Elli Watson?" Came the female voice on the other end. So I was right, solicitors.
"Uh, yes it is."
"Hello Elli, I'm calling from the adoption agency." She paused and when I didn't speak she said, "Is this a good time for you, I can always call back later." I unfroze and quickly replied,
"No, no! This is fine, I have time." My heart raced as I listened to her explain the situation with Brooke and her current foster family. I was very attentive and very frightened. When she finally said,
"We have talked it over with the head board and also with Brooke and we have made a decision about where Brooke should live. We agreed that it is in the child's best interest to stay where she is now. The Adams's will be her guardians and her new adoption family. However, since you are her mother you can visit her whenever you'd like as long as it's ok with Brooke and her family. I know this must be hard for you, but we had to take Brooke's well-being into account. I'm sorry." Water streamed down my face like a waterfall. Brooke, the girl I had been wanting to have ever since the accident, Brooke, my daughter, would never get to live with me, she would never get to be mine.
"Now, depending on what the Adams's say, you may be able to work out a plan, sort of like shared custody, but I need you to remember, this is supposed to be about Brooke not anyone else. Do you have any questions." I was too shocked to say anything and didn't hang up the phone until I heard the irritating beeping that signified a disconnected line.
I cried for hours all alone, I had no one to turn to. Brooke was too young and I would end up scaring her or making her feel guilty and Mark...Mark was mad at me. I cried myself to sleep and woke up at 6:00 a.m. to the blaring buzz of my alarm clock. I shut it off angrily and turned over. There would be no work for me today.
The phone rang almost continually from 9:00 to 12:00. It was probably just that malicious lady from the adoption agency calling to tell me that I could never see my daughter again. I rubbed my puffy red eyes as I mumbled rude comments about the agency woman. My long spew of gibberish words ceased when I heard a pounding at the door. I cursed and tore off my pajamas, which were soon replaced by normal clothes. I sprinted into the bathroom and splashed my face until the redness lessened. I grabbed a hand towel and trotted to the door. I dried my face as I unlatched the door lock, and then quickly tossed the towel aside. I swung the door open to see an unfamiliar face looking at me. "Um, yes?" I asked. The woman was dressed in a pink summer dress and was wearing matching sandals. She looked very controlled, but very sympathetic. She calmly replied, "Hi, Elli? I'm Clair Adams." I stood there, unsure what to do. "Um, hello, uh...come in." I decided I better get on the good side of the woman that controlled the fate of my daughter and I. "Brooke's told me so much about you and I thought it might be nice to stop over and see how you're holding up. I know I would be quite upset if I didn't get custody of Brooke too." She ended rather awkwardly, but came into my apartment anyways. Clair sighed and said, "So, how are you doing? Oh, Brooke says hi by the way." At those words I couldn't control myself, collapsed onto the floor in fits of tears. I spent the whole afternoon spilling my guts out to this woman I had just met. She reassured me in every way possible that I could see Brooke whenever I wanted. "Don't worry! Brooke is like both of our child, but the difference is she knows you are her mother and she will always think of you like that, I am just like an aunt to her! And anytime you want to see her or have her over at your place for like a weekend or whatever is fine with me! You are her mother and you can be with your daughter whenever you want." She said things like this a million times until I started to believe it and stopped blubbering like a baby. "Thank-you. Would you mind bringing her over at about 6:30, you know, so we can have dinner together, I need to see her." She smiled. "Sure, anything to see you two happy." About half an hour later she left me all alone in my house again. Alone wasn't how I wanted to feel right now. I picked up the phone and dialed Mark's number and it rang once before I hung it up abruptly. Mark was still angry; I couldn't call him...or could I? Yes I could, it would be stupid not to, we were still friends, nothing had changed between us, well, nothing really. I breathed in deeply, pressed the 'talk' button, then redial. I heard the receiver lift, but no sound for about 5 seconds. "Hi." Mark said nervously. "Hi Mark. I didn't get Brooke." I just stated it flat out, just like that. We talked for about two hours, until 6:00. I laughed off his disbelief and welcomed his encouragement. My watch alarm signified that I had to start getting dinner ready. "Ok Mark, I have to go, but do you want to come over maybe around 8:00ish, I just don't want to be alone." "You never want to be alone!" He joked, but I responded, "I know. Alone sucks...single sucks. See you at eight!" I hung up before he could reply. I grinned, I did it, hopefully now he understand how I feel, either that or he's just really confused, I mused. Hopefully it's the first one; I want him to know I like him too.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Dinner was great thanks!" Brooke praised me. It was amazing how one person could fill an entire room with a warm presence. I smiled at her and glanced at my watch.
"No problem kid! But Clair said she would come and get you at 7:45, so we only have about ten more minutes. Are you..." I trailed off not knowing if I should ask, but concluded that it would be kind, "Are you ok with everything?" Brooke looked quizzically up at me and said,
"I think so. Clair says that I can see you whenever I want which is what I really wanted anyways. And she says that I can maybe have sleepovers here with you...if you want." I beamed at her and said,
"Of course that's fine! Clair sounds really nice."
"She is, she's even letting me re-do my room!" The intercom buzzed, speak of the devil.
"Hi Elli, hi Brooke, it's me Clair."
"Hi Clair, come on up!" I said. I turned to Brooke and motioned for her to rise.
"I'll see what I can do about that sleepover, for this weekend maybe, ok?" I asked Brooke. She giggled and answered,
"That's great!" I grinned down at her and said,
"Now come 'ere! I want a hug!" Her curly blonde hair bounced as she wrapped her arms around my waist.
"I love you...mom"
"I love you too." I whispered as I kissed her head before she headed out the door.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Mark's knock came at 8:17. "Mark! What happened, are you ok?" I interrogated him upon his arrival. He laughed and shouldered the big box he was carrying. "I'm fine, traffic was bad, that's why I'm late." He explained. He was a bad liar, but I let it go. "Come in, come in!" I said as I ushered him into the apartment. This time when Mrs. Bellofield looked at me, I just licked my lips, smiled and shut the door. When I turned to face him, Mark had put the box down. "What's in the box?" I asked. He yawned and said, "Just some blueprints I picked up from work." His beautiful ocean-coloured eyes skimmed my walls and pictures. He walked up to them and studied them as he moved along the wall. I quickly caught up with him when he paused at the picture I had inquired about before. I glanced curiously up at him and he said, "You wanted to know what I was going to tell you that day...I wanted to tell you that you were impossibly beautiful, but also I wanted to tell you that I love you." He finished and looked at me thoughtfully. My knees quivered as I swung my arms about his neck. "I love you too! I'm so sorry about before, I was just scared, the last time I had a boyfriend was ten years ago and I..." I was cut off when he kissed me. I heard an odd noise from behind me and turned my back on the wall and faced the box. Mark's fingers intertwined with mine and said, "Something so you will never be alone again." As soon as he said that, I heard a puppy bark emanate from the box.