Part Three-

Finally the weekend comes and I decide to drive up to LA. I was bored and figured that Dawn and I could go shopping in Hollywood if she wasn't still pissed off. I pulled into the driveway of Dad's huge house. He lived in the 'Boulevards' and was pretty darn rich. He worked for some big company called Wolfman and Hart. They were all stuck up snobs and had never liked me when I was a teenager and had gone to visit him. I got out of the car, (it was a new Jeep that Dad had recently bought me.), and climbed the steps. I rang the doorbell and waited for someone to answer. Jeanine answered and her face brightened when she saw me.

"Buffy, hi!" She said in that soft way of hers.

"Hey Jeanine. Dawn here?" I asked, walking inside behind her.

"Yeah, both of them are here." Jeanine said, "Your Dad's in the study and Dawn's in the pool."

"Bet she's loving that." I said, remembering how Dawn used to always beg Mom to get a pool installed in the yard.

"Along with other things…" She paused, "Buffy. I just wanted to say that…I'm not trying to be a mother to Dawn. You had your Mom and you guys don't need another one. "

I nodded, and the little fact she was just mere years older than me.

"I know. And I know you and my Dad love each other. And, don't listen to Dawn. She can be the biggest bitch sometimes, but she can be really cool when she wants to be." I assured her.

Then I walked upstairs and found my Father arguing on the phone.

"I don't care what it says! I need to know if it'll affect her too!" …. "Dammit Lindsey! I want those papers and I want them now!" …. "What the hell is Lilah doing with them? She'll ruin everything, you get them back!" Dad yelled and I swore that I saw his eyes flicker yellow.

Dad slammed the phone down and rubbed his temples.

Maybe it was my imagination. Spending too much time around the hellmouth…

"Hey Daddy." I greeted coming into the room.

He jumped when he heard me and his eyes darted around my face.

What was he searching for?

I flashed a smile and sat in the leather seat that sat opposite from him. He quit staring and broke out of his little reverie.

"Hi sweetie. What're you doing here?" He asked, a smile on his lips.

"Oh, just visiting. The house is strangely quiet. Thought I'd take Dawn and go shopping." I said, using my Daddy-can-I-borrow-your-Visa-voice.

"Sure, all she's doing is moping around anyways." Dad shrugged.

"Great. What time do you want her home?" I asked.

"Before 6. I don't want you driving home in the dark.' Dad said using his No-arguments voice.

"Daddy…." I sighed.

"I mean it. Now, here," he said, taking out his Visa-YES!-and handing it to me.

"Great!" I said, getting up and taking it. I pressed a kiss to his cheek and walked out. As I left, I saw him staring at a picture on his wall. It was taken like 8 years ago. It was of Mom, him, me, and Dawn.

Tears pricked my eyes and I wiped them away, going to Dawn's room. I passed my old room and couldn't help going in. Everything was the same as it had been. All my posters, Backstreet Boys and *NSYNC. What a kid I was. I went to my closet where I had kept my other weapons trunk and saw my weapons scattered across the closet floor. Someone had gone through my stuff. My heart sank when I thought maybe it was Dad. Was that why he was acting weird? Or, it could've been anyone. I hadn't been in this room for two years.

I shrugged as if it didn't matter, yet it did, and went downstairs. I remembered Jeanine said Dawn was in the pool. And she was. She had her head phones on and she tanned.

"Stupid…" I murmured.

I splashed some water on her and she jumped. She ripped her head phones off and glared at me.

"Bitch." She whispered.

"Oh, you hurt me so." I rolled my eyes.

"What are you doing here?" Dawn asked.

"Wanna go shopping?" I asked, flashing Dad's Visa.

Her eyes brightened, "Sure."

"Hey, did you go through me weapons chest?" I asked.

"Yeah, just to get a stake though. There are vamps here too."

"Duh."

*

We actually got along for once. We walked around town and bought a bunch of things.

That's when I saw her.

Cordelia.

"Damn." I whispered.

"What?" Dawn asked.

I pointed discreetly.

"Hey Cor-" Dawn started to shout before I slapped my hand over her mouth.

"Shut up…" I hissed.

I remembered what I read the other night about her and Angel and felt the boiling rage simmer more.

How dare she?

Then what I saw made me freeze. Angel was with her. For a moment, I held me breath as I awaited for him to explode into dust.

But he didn't.

I looked to the sky.

It was overcast.

"Buffy…is that…?" Dawn asked.

"Yeah." I said in a choked voice, my heart sinking.

"Let's go." I said, my voice low.

Dawn nodded.

But, there was a problem.

They were standing by my car.

I pushed the button to make the horn go off and they jumped.

Dawn laughed.

"Buffy, they'll see us." She said.

"I know…" I sighed as we walked to the car. I pretended to be preoccupied with my dozens of bags.

He looked up. I knew the moment he did. I don't know how, but I did.

"Buffy." He said in that quiet way of his.

I looked up.

"Oh, hey." My voice was devoid of emotion.

He picked up on it, his eyes concerned.

Cordelia fumed, her face turning red to the roots of her poorly dyed blond hair.

Dawn climbed into the car, and looked at me, calculating my emotions. She could do that, even when I tried my hardest to hide them.

"What are you doing here?" Angel asked.

"Shopping with Dawn." I said in my most 'duh' voice, "And visiting my father."

"So, you're leaving soon?" Cordelia spoke up, taking Angel's hand. She made sure I saw.

"Fortunately for you, yeah." I snapped.

"You never answered my letter." Angel said.

"What? Yes I did." My eyes swung to Cordelia, who shrank back under my scrutiny.

"Maybe you were too busy with Spike?" She snipped.

I saw red.

Blood.

Violence.

Rage.

I closed my eyes and my fists clenched. I was under control, barely, from killing the superficial bitch.

I knew Angel was looking at me.

I opened my eyes and saw his. They were clouded with his own inner betrayal

and anger.

Could he see the ashamed look on my face?

Could he tell that whenever I took a shower, I scrubbed myself so much that sometimes it bled, yet I never felt clean.

"Hmm. Guess someone can't handle the truth." Cordelia hummed, taking my hesitance at killing her to the advantage.

My nails broke the skin, for I was squeezing them so tightly.

I could feel the blood run down my hand.

Angel saw too. He watched the droplets with clouded eyes.

"Buffy, don't." Dawn said, her voice tight.

She knew what I wanted to do.

I exhaled sharply, and turned on my heel, throwing my bags in the back and climbing in.

"Buffy, wait." I heard Angel call.

I looked at him and saw his desire for things not to end this way. He didn't want us to part on bad terms.

Again.

"Look, I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to explain myself, because either way I'll make it sound wrong." I sighed.

"And it wasn't?" He asked, in a sharp voice, "You slept with Spike."

I slumped miserably, "Yeah. I did, but I don't have to justify myself to you or anyone else."

I started the engine.

"Maybe you're right, Cordelia. Maybe you did win. But think of the way you did it. Doesn't seem very higher-power-like to me…"

I pealed away from the curb, the tires shrieking.

I could see Angel wanted to run after me. And, he could have caught me.

But he didn't.

And that's when I knew.

It really was over.

*

The ride back to Sunnydale was quiet. My inner thoughts were raging. I argued with myself about how stupid I had been to even hope that Angel and I had another chance.

Stupid!

I still loved him. I always would. But that chapter of my life was over. Done, ended, finished. Maybe love wasn't the point now. I had failed at it enough times. I was destined to be alone.

Like all Slayers.

Like Kendra.

Like Faith.

I missed her. Not that I would ever admit it, but I do. She was like me. In every way. I felt the same things she did. The freeness of it all, but I never gave in. I couldn't afford it.

I could now.

What did I have left?

Nothing.

I had pushed my friends away, my Mom was dead, Giles left, Angel left, I made Dawn leave. Maybe Cordelia was right. Something about me repealed people.

I was actually siding with Cordelia?

The bitch who Angel was now in love with?!

Yes.

I was.

Sigh.

*

Weeks passed and I thought I was getting over it all. I didn't hear from Angel anymore. I didn't really go to LA anymore for fear of running into him or Queen Bitch. I dived into my schoolwork and-Oh My God!-got all A's. At the end of the semester, Giles sent me a bouquet of flowers, congratulating me.

Dad took all of us out. It was like a family, not.

But, it was fun.

I didn't have anymore of those 'attacks'. I guess they were temporary. Just like me to jinx things. One night, I had come back relatively early when I noticed my computer was on. I figured Spike had been on it. He did that sometimes. I opened my mailbox and saw a letter from Angel. My heart pounded in anticipation.

But I didn't let myself open. It.

I was over him.

Right?

Well, I couldn't sleep at all that night. So, very tired and very pissed off, I opened it.

*

To: "Buffy" ChosenSweetie81@yahoo.com

From: "Angel" DarkAvenger@yahoo.com

Subject: (none)

Buffy. I'm sorry. I acted rashly the other day. I really want to talk to you. I want to understand. I knew you were in a dark place. Willow told me how bad it was. Please, meet me somewhere.

A.

*

To: "Angel" DarkAvenger@yahoo.com

From: "Buffy" ChosenSweetie81@yahoo.com

Subject: (none)

Angel, stop it. I don't want to talk. That's what you don't get. I have put it past me. So, maybe I sought someone who was my enemy, so what if I took some kind of morbid comfort in Spike. I HAD NOTHING ELSE! No one understood. I know it was wrong and I hate myself for it. I hate what I did, what I became. But I'm over it.

And I don't need to explain anything to you. Just leave me alone. We're not the same people we were. We don't know each other anymore. And, sometimes I wonder if we ever did.

Buffy.

*

I was upset after that.

I cried.

A lot.

I hated this.

I hated him.

I hated Cordelia.

I really hated her.

*

We had a week long break from school and I spent it in LA with Dad. I actually had fun. Dawn and I went out a lot. We shopped, we went to the beach. Sister fun stuff. One day, Dad let me come to work with him. It had been a while since I had been here. Everyone dressed so stuffily.

Dad was a Senior Partner so he got one of the big top offices.

"So, you're Hank's daughter." Lilah said as she toured me around.

"Yeah, the oldest." Dad answered, proudly.

I beamed at him.

Lilah grimaced.

What a lovely person.

"Do you plan on joining our team?" Lilah asked.

Dad glared at her and they shared a silent message.

Dad was warning her with his eyes, which had turned a steely green.

"No, I won't." I answered, awkwardly.

Someone's pager went off and Lilah looked mock apologetic.

"Sorry, gotta run. Business calls." She practically ran off.

Again, lovely person.

"I don't like her." I said.

"Me neither." Dad mumbled,

I laughed.

"So, what do you do?" I asked.

Dad looked like a deer caught in headlights for a moment.

"I'm a lawyer."

"How original." I said, monotone.

Dad laughed and patted my head.

"Dad!" I cried, fixing my hair.

"Hank Summers please report to meeting room 1." A voice of the PA intercom thing.

"Sorry sweetie. Gotta run." Dad said.

"What am I supposed to do?" I asked.

Dad handed me key to his office and said, "Make yourself at home. There's food in there."

Great, fatten me up.

I walked past the secretary. Dads' office was the size of my house.

"Wow." I murmured and opened the fridge, taking out a Pepsi.

I looked around for a while and started to go through his desks. Some were

locked, but a quick pull did the job. I found a file that caught my eyes. It was labeled 'A:I'.

I opened it and the file dropped from my hands. There were dozens of pictures of Angel in here. In various scenes. There were facts about him. Some were his weaknesses. There was a picture of him and…-Darla?!-in a compromising position.

I gagged. I shoved the file in my purse and ran out. I told the secretary to tell my Dad I went home. I walked to Angel Investigations briskly. I came upon a huge hotel and was momentarily stunned by the hugeness of it. I waked to the door, my heels clicking on the pavement.

I shoved the door open with a loud-BANG!

Everyone was in the lobby. The all jumped and looked at me, stunned. There were four people in there.

Angel, Cordelia, some girl and a colored man that I didn't know.

I made my expression steely. I wanted answers. Right now.

"Buffy, what are you doing here?" Angel asked, his eyes hard.

He was pissed off at me.

Ha.

"I want answers. What's your connection with Wolfman and Hart?"