Part Four-
"I want answers. What's you're connection with Wolfman and Hart?" I asked, firmly.
Angel looked at me, stunned.
"What do you know about Wolfman and Hart?" He asked me.
"I know they don't like you a whole lot. They've got files about you." I sat, waving my folder .
He grabbed for it and I snatched it away.
"Not until you tell me why." I demanded.
"Who are you to come in here, barging in here, and demanding questions about things that don't concern you?" Cordelia demanded, getting in my face.
I pushed her, just hard enough to make her trip.
Angel caught her.
I glared.
"What's wrong with you?" Angel asked carefully.
"Nothing. Are you going to tell me or not?" I asked.
No one answered.
"Fuck it. I'll ask my father." I murmured and turned to leave.
Angel grabbed me arm.
"Why would you ask your Dad?" He asked.
"Let go of me." I demanded, meeting his steely gaze.
I tried not to get lost in his eyes, I really did.
"Tell me." Angel ordered.
"I don't have to tell you shit!" I yelled, pushing his with force much stronger
than normal.
He flew and crashed into the desk, smashing it.
I pressed my shaky hand over my mouth.
He stared at me with a pain filled gaze.
I threw the files on the floor and ran out. My heels clacking loudly, echoing in the huge lobby. I made it outside and leaned on the cold jagged brick. I didn't mean to push him that hard.
I swear to God, I didn't.
*
I walked back to Dad's house.
I slip in quietly and lay down on my bed.
I feel exhausted. My mind is spinning and my eyes are drooping. I fall asleep in my black heels and skirt.
I wake up around dinner time and smell something that Jeanine is cooking. I sit up drowsily and look at the setting sun. I have the urge to patrol. I change into a pair of black pants and a red tank top.
Red.
Blood.
I shake the thought from my mind and keep my heels on. I put my hair up in a messy bun and climb out my window.
Old habits die hard.
But, then again, doesn't everything?
I walk around the darkening streets, oblivious to everything around me. All I can feel is the cool air wrapping around me. All I can see is the falling sun. And, all I hear is the click of my heels and the faint sound of someone walking behind me.
This game again?
I keep walking, getting deeper and deeper into the city. The beautiful skyscrapers turn into broken warehouses. The smooth sidewalk is filled with cracks and it's a miracle I don't fall and break my neck.
Darn.
I stop and the footfalls behind me stop.
"Alright, let's stop this. I'm pissed off and don't feel like playing." I call.
"Good, then we're on the same page." A smooth voice greets me.
Gee, wonder who it is.
Oh.
How could I forget?
It's Angel.
"What do you want?" I ask, watching him as he walks to my side.
"Nothing, just going for a stroll. After all, this is MY town." He snaps.
"Angel, still holding grudges? Hmm, kind of a turn off." I quip.
I start walking forward, going nowhere.
He grabs my arm and slams my into the nearest wall.
"Bastard." I hiss, and try to escape, but he's gripping my arms.
He's hurting me.
"Tell me what you know." Angel demands.
I laugh.
"I'm not some pansy ass demon who's scared of you." I mock.
He growls.
I smirk.
And somehow we end up kissing. His mouth is pressed against mine, roughly. I moan and try to turn my head.
This isn't happening.
I am over him.
The hell I am.
"You smell like him." He hisses.
"Damn, I knew I forgot to take my shower…"
"Buffy…" His voice is full of warning.
"Angel…" I mock.
I don't know what's gotten into me.
But, it's pissing him off.
"Who are you?" He breathes.
He doesn't know me anymore. No one does. I'm not sure I even know myself.
"Why, I'm Buffy. You're precious, perfect, princess Buffy. Full of innocence and virtue. Never can do anything wrong." I mock, my voice hard.
"What?" Angel asks, stepping back.
"That's how you always saw me. Perfect. Sorry to ruin your pretty picture, but no ones perfect, least of all me." I snap, turning and walking briskly away.
He follows me. I know he does. I can feel him. His whole presence is making my body shiver. His kiss has left my lips tingling. I sighed softly and found a club. It was called Caritas. I entered it and looked around. It was decorated the way a cheesy strip club would be. Zebra print chairs, plush red carpet.
"Why, hey there cutie." A voice sounded behind me.
I whipped around, my eyes hard.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Angel leaning against one of the far walls, watching me.
The man who stood in front of me, was green.
"Um. Hey." I answered him back, a wary expression on my face.
"You new here? Never seen ya before." He asked, leading me to a table.
"Yeah." I said.
"Boy, aren't we the talkative little Slayer?" He asked.
"How do you know…?" I started to ask.
"Sweetcheeks, I can feel the power coming off you like a ton of blood." He said.
"And, you would be…?"
"Sorry. The name's Lorne. I own this place." He said.
"What is it exactly?" I asked, waving my hand around.
"Demon bar. Peaceful place. You get drunk, you sing, and I read your soul." He said.
"Cool." I murmured, slightly fascinated with the whole thing.
He was silent as he watched some demon sing.
"Can I get a beer?" I asked.
"You 21?" Lorne asked.
"Close enough." I answered sweetly and waited while he got up.
I snuck a peek where Angel had been. He wasn't there. I breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe I would calm down now. I looked over to where Lorne had gone.
And there he was.
"Dammit." I swore.
Angel was talking to Lorne, obviously trying to get him to not give me my drink. I stood up and strode over there. I grabbed the drink from the Lorne's hands and gave him a 5.
"She's not 21." Angel said, glaring at me.
"Almost." I said, taking a drink.
Lorne looked back and forth between us.
"Why didn't I see it before?" He murmured to himself.
"What?" Angel asked.
"Nothing, hey honeybunch, why don't ya get up there and sing for us." He directed to me.
"Um, no." I answered, moving away.
"Come on," Lorne persisted, "Let me read your soul."
"There's nothing to read. I'll fight and I'll die. I don't need to hear it for the fiftieth time." I rolled my eyes.
The both of them looked at me, Angels' gaze was angry, Lorne's was amused.
"I'm not doing it." I said, turning and walking back to my table.
It grew late and the crowd grew less. I had only one beer, but it left me feeling buzzed.
"You sure you don't want to sing?" Lorne asked one last time.
"Maybe some other time." I answered.
"Don't be a stranger, Slayer." He says, his eyes warm, then turns away.
I left and again felt him following me.
"GO AWAY!" I screamed.
My voice echoed through the night. He didn't and I stopped.
"Why won't you leave me alone?" I asked in a soft voice.
"Because something's wrong with you." He answered.
"Just what every girl dreams to hear." I muttered.
"I'm serious."
"Thank you Mr. Obvious." I snapped.
"Buffy, wait." He said, catching my arm, gently this time.
"What?" I asked.
"I still care about you…"
"Angel, stop…"
"You can talk to me." He finished.
"No I can't. You don't listen. You hear only what you want too. You're just like everyone else." I answered.
"Except Spike?" He shot back.
"Fuck you. Angel, just shut the hell up. You don't know what you're talking about." I snapped, turning to leave, but his grip tightened on my arm.
"We need to talk about this!" He yelled.
"There is no 'we'! YOU left ME! And you're pissed off because my whole goddamn life went to hell because of it! You have no right to my life." I hissed.
"You slept with Spike, an evil demon. You let him use you. You turned to him instead of turning to me!" Angel yelled.
"I couldn't turn to you! You left!" I yelled.
"He's evil!" Angel said, trying to calm down.
"You want to talk about evil? Fine, let's talk about Angelus. Your demon. Your alter-ego. He killed some of my friends, tortured them. You're the same as Spike." I hissed.
His eyes flash golden and his fist connects with my jaw.
Huh, this seems familiar.
I hit him back, tears now streaming from my eyes.
"Don't patronize me for what I did, YOU DID THE SAME THING!" I screamed.
"I didn't sleep with a demon." He hisses.
"Did you forget about DARLA?!" I scream.
He freezes.
"Yeah, you think I didn't know! I saw pictures, Willow told me! You tried to lose your soul with her! So DON'T talk to me about sleeping with the enemy!" I scream, my voice breaking, but still echoing.
I turn and run away. I chance a look back and he's standing in the same place, tears falling from his own eyes.
I run.
And don't stop.
*
I leave the next morning. I can't be in this city anymore. I keep running into him and the high walls I built around myself are about to come crashing down.
And I can't afford that.
"If Angel calls, tell him I want him to leave me alone." I told Dawn, then kissed her goodbye and made my two hour journey home.
I come home and see the file at my doorstep. It's the Wolfman and Hart one that I had left at Angels.
He better not still be here.
Inside the file is a little note. With his handwriting saying a single word.
iSorry.i/
I crumple the note. He's sorry about a lot of things, isn't he? Well, he can go to
hell, again, for all I car. Give me the sword and I'll be happy to send him there again.
And, we all know that's a lie.
But, shh. Don't ruin my angry rant.
I think I'll take Dad up on his offer. This house is too big.
I'm still holding the note in my hand. But I can't bring my self to throw it out. I could never throw anything of him out.
I trudge upstairs and pull out a small box. It has everything that he's ever given me in it. There are pictures, Prom, Halloween, and just random ones. I have his leather jacket folded up. It still smalls like him. I have the ticket stud to that food-porno movie.
How that had worked us up so…
Some notes he used to leave me. I even kept the drawings of me he made as Angelus. Dried roses. Everything.
I put the note in there and shove the box back into its dusty, almost forgotten home.
I pass the mirror on my way out and see a bruise coloring my skin.
Angel hurt me.
Again.
Will this ever stop. Why can't we just forget each other? It can't be too hard…
Can it?
Yes.
I still love him.
And I hate it.