Part Five
I have official become a loner.
I have pushed everyone away. I don't talk to Willow or Xander. The only one I talk too is Giles, but its long distance so conversations are usually short. I just can't stand any of them anymore.
Xander whining about Anya.
Willow whining about magic.
They are driving me crazy. And the whole time Willow gives me the same speech.
"You should talk to us, Buffy. We're your friends and we can help you. We deserve to know what's going on. "
And then I mention Angel and they grow silent.
"Angel is the past. You don't still love him. You should go out with so-and-so from school. You will love him. Even thought you used to love Angel, he's scum and you don't need him."
Ok, she didn't say the whole 'scum' thing, but it's pretty much the same.
Right?
But, they're all wrong. I do need him. I'm just too stubborn to admit it. And I never will. I'm still pissed off at him. I mean, how dare he yell at me for doing the same thing he did. Its like, he has an excuse but since I did it, it makes me a bad person.
Screw them all.
And, besides, he's in love with Cordelia.
Insert my sarcastic voice here.
Sorry, I'm not bitter about that, not at all. In fact, I want front row seats to the wedding. So I can kill them both.
I still slay. It's like the high point of my day. Isn't that pathetic? I mean, I never had a life, but now it's freaking hopeless. No boyfriend, no friends.
Whatever.
The words normal and life are overrated.
I start to feel guilty about that night with Angel. I really don't want things to be so tense and nonexistent between us, so I email him.
*
To: "Angel" DarkAvenger@yahoo.com
From: "Buffy" ChosenSweetie81@yahoo.com
Subject: Foot in mouth once again…
Listen, I'm really sorry I was such a bitch that night. I guess I'm just stressed and going through a lot. But, it's not an excuse. We've been through too much to let something this petty ruin what little communication we have left.
You probably already know this, but my father works for Wolfman and Hart. He's a senior partner. I don't know what kind of grudge they have over you, and I'm sure they have more files against you. I'll try and find some, but don't hurt my father. If you do, I'll have to hurt you, and I don't want too. He's all I have left.
Buffy.
*
I left for school after I sent it. I had Psyche and Myth today. I paid attention and did the work. I never knew that it could be this easy and almost stress free if I just did the work.
And my happy little bubble was burst when Giles came back, bearing a Prophecy.
"No!" I cried, causing everyone in the shop to look at me.
"Buffy, I know this is a shock…" Giles started.
"Its not a shock. There's nothing to be a shock. I refuse. I won't do it." I said, crossing my hands over my chest.
"Buffy…" Willow tried.
"No…" Now I was whining.
I knew it.
I didn't care.
Giles came with a prophecy, I said that already. It was of something called the Solitary Uprising. Of course, we didn't know what it meant. It sounded…strange. Maybe lethal.
But, so was everything else.
He wanted me to call Angel.
He said we might need their help.
"Giles, come on!" I cried, pouting.
"Why are you acting so strangely? Has something happened between you and him?" Giles asked.
Yes, something happened!
I found out that he knew about everything and he was in love with Cordelia,(insert me gagging), and he…he kissed me.
"No, nothing." I sigh.
"Then stop acting like a bloody child and call him, for Gods sake." Giles exclaims.
"Fine!" I huff and grab the phone.
I know they all want to hear what we'll say to each other, but no. Since they're making me do this, they don' get a free ticket the Buffy and Angel show. I go into the training room
I dial the number I know so well and wait for someone to answer.
"Hi! This is Angel's Investigations. We help the hopeless." A cheerful voice says.
Thank God it's not Cordelia.
"Um, hey. Can I please speak to Angel?" I ask.
"Sure, hold please." The voice says and I hear what happens to be elevator music.
I'm busy snickering to myself and don't hear him answer.
"Hello?" He asks again.
Oops.
"Um, hey." I say, then kick myself, "Its Buffy."
"I know. What do you want?" He asks, his voice slightly wary.
Boy, we're pleasant today.
"Don't worry, we can skip the pleasantries." I say sarcastically, then move on,
"You know anything about the Solitary Uprising?"
He's silent.
"You didn't fall asleep on me, did you? I may have to resort to yodeling." I threatened.
I swear I hear him chuckle, but when he talks his voice his detached.
"Um, it sounds familiar…" He says thoughtfully.
"If this is a bad time…" I start.,
Then I hear it.
"Angel, who's on the phone?"
A women's voice.
Cordelia's voice.
No fucking way!
I knew this phone that Angel was using was in his…, oh God, bedroom.
"I'll have Giles call back later, I can see you're BUSY!" I yell.
"No, wait, it's not-" I hear him say before I throw the phone against the wall. It smashed and shattered into a billion trillion pieces, just like my heart.
I guess it was really loud because everyone ran into the room and stared at me.
"Dear Lord, Buffy. What happened?" Giles asks.
"I got mad at the phone, what does it look like?" I grumble and I guess I have that look in my eyes because everyone steps back.
"You can call him next time." I spat and left.
They stared after me, gaping in confusion.
I ran the whole way home and collapsed on the couch. I started to sob. Deep, heavy ones that make you want to die. I didn't notice Spike when he first came up. But, I felt him staring at me and I looked up, hiccupping.
"Go away," I sniffled, my voice shaky.
"What'd he do?" Spike asked, having a moment of clarity.
"He's in love with Cordelia." I said, my eyes tearing.
"No he ain't." Spike murmured, stepping closer.
"Yes he is!" I cried, "He does."
"No." Spike repeated, "Stupid idiot loves you. He's tryin' to delude himself. Won't work."
"How do you know?" I asked.
"The stars tol' me." He answered, his eyes glazing back up.
And the sanity was lost.
*
I had dreams that night.
They weren't happy dreams. Far from it.
I was in a dark place. I couldn't see anything. But, its what I felt. Darkness, despair, and the need to give in. I also felt something underneath it all. The need for blood and the thrill of a kill.
I saw claws, long and lethal. I saw fangs, white, and long protruding from full pink lips. I heard a voice.
"It's what's meant to be, what was meant to happen."
I knew that voice. So familiar, but from where?
"I CAN'T DO THIS!"
A scream echoed painfully through my head.
"I always knew you were a freak. This proves it."
Harsh words made me want to cry.
"I never meant to hurt you."
Words I hated.
I was in a whirlwind of voice, sound, and images.
It overwhelmed me.
I screamed.
*
I awoke to someone yelling at me.
"BLOODY HELL! WAKE UP!" Spike yelled as he raised his hand to slap me.
I caught his hand and glared at him.
"Bout fucking time. You've been screamin' forever." He huffed.
"You're…you." I said, rubbing my temples.
"Course I am, who else would I be?" He asked, "Oh, and your bloody poof called, was none too happy when I answered the phone."
He chuckled.
"Bastard." I hissed.
He smirked.
I got up and took a handful of aspirin. My head was killing me.
"What'd he say?" I asked.
"Angel? Heh heh. He started to yell and ask why I was there and where were you?" Spike laughed.
"What'd you say?"
"Told him I killed you. Pissed him right off, it did. Then I told him that I just finished banging you and he threatened to come and kill me." Spike laughed more.
"Terrific, asshole." I rolled my eyes.
"You know… I'm sorry. About that… Wasn't in my right mind." Spike apologized.
I shrugged.
It was over and done with.
"And you're in your right mind now?" I asked.
He shrugged this time, "Guess not."
"Did he say if he was going to call back?" I asked.
When Spike didn't answer, I turned to look at him.
His eyes were glazed over and he was murmuring to himself.
Spells of sanity.
They were far and few in between.
But they were full of wisdom and remorse.
And some arrogance.
But, hey, nothings perfect.
*
I patrolled and my cell phone rang. Unfortunately, I was in the middle of
fighting a few vamps at the time. I answered it, breathlessly, "Little busy at the moment."
"Fucking Spike again?"
It was Angel.
"Wouldn't you love to know. Hold on." I snapped, stuffing it in my pocket.
"The Uprising waits for you." The vamp hissed.
"What are you talking about?" I asked.
"Everyone leaves you. No one can stand you. You contaminate every life you
touch." The vamp sneered.
My gaze tuned ice cold.
"Even you're mother. She died to get away from the despair you brought her.
Don't think we don't know. We know all."
"You don't know what you're talking about." I snap, throwing a punch at his nose.
He cried out in pain.
"I."
Punch
"Did."
Kick.
"NOT."
Slam head into headstone.
"Kill."
Roundhouse kick.
"My Mother!"
I screamed the last part, swinging the vamp by his hair into a tree branch.
Dust.
I took the phone out and saw he was still on.
Damn.
"What do you want?" I asked, sighing.
I perched myself on the headstone and swung my feet.
"I found a little information on the Solitary Uprising." Angel said.
"And…?" I prompted.
"Well, no one knows what it is."
"Surprise, surprise."
"It's a new breed. Not human nor demon. Its just…there." Angel said, sounding baffled.
"Is it dangerous?" I asked.
"Don't know."
"Can it look like us?" I asked.
"Don't know."
"Then why the hell did you call?" I exclaim.
"I want to talk to you." Angel said.
"I don't." I said, hanging up on his and turning my phone off.
I sighed. And this is what my life had turned too.
Absolute shit.
*
"She walks alone. Picked to fight, destined to die. Crossing the line twice and
caught in-between. She gives in to her dark side, her need for evil. It draws her
in and takes hold of her, never letting go. It will change her."
Everyone at the round table stared at the boss.
"And…are we sure it's her?" The blonde haired man asked with great difficultly.
"Yes, all the signs point to her and with you're…unique situation, it only makes sense." Lindsey answered.
"So, it isn't my fault?" He asked.
"No, the prophecy would've come to pass any way else, you just happened to be the effecter." Lindsey assured the man.
"What should we do?" He asked.
"She has a connection to Angel." Lilah said.
"No, not yet. We can't." He snapped.
"Yes sir." Lilah blanched.
"I need to tell her." He said.
"It would ruin everything!" Lilah cried.
He looked at her.
"I'm sorry Mr. Summers." Lilah cringed.
"For now. Meeting adjourned." Hank announced, sighing and turning to the window.
What hell this would all be.