Disclaimer: Anything you may recognize from the Harry Potter books belongs to J.K. Rowling. Anything else is my own.
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Neville Longbottom attended Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and wizardry. When he decided to bring his pet gerbils to school in the fall, he doesn't realize he's making a big mistake....
Gerbil 1: Okay, gang. Last chapter was an annoying waste of mindless dialogue, so we have to stick to the point this time.
Webster: Speaking of speaking to things, I have something really, really disgusting stuck to my foot.
Hershell: Ugh! I just ate!
Gerbil 2: Speaking of eating, I'm hungry...If I eat one more of these flavourless pellets I'll hurl.
Hershell: Ugh! I just ate!
Gerbil 1: So much for sticking to the point.
Webster: Could you stop mentioning that?
Gerbil 1: (Clears throat) We need to come up with a battle plan for revenge on the humans.
Gerbil 2: But surely they deserve another chance!
Gerbil 1: Don't call me Shirley.
Webster: I can't believe he just said that.
Hershell: Narrator, you know what to do.
Narrator: Hyuk, hyuk! Shirley! You'll never live this down!
Shirley: I feel so humiliated.
Gerbil 2: Blah, blah, blah. *Yawn* This cage is soooo boring. I know! We can all sing! (Breaks into song) Heyyy Yaaa......Heyyyy Yaaaaaaaaaaa..........
Hershell: What is that mess?
Webster: Ya, no offense, dude, but you can't sing.
Gerbil 2: Hmph. That was Outkast, they have the number one song on the charts.
Shirley: How on earth would you know that?
Gerbil 2: Everyone knows that. Get with it, Shirley! Live in the now! HEYYYY YAAAA......
Unidentifiable Guinea Pig: Woah, little gerbily-thing. Don't blow a fuse.
Webster: Gah! A GUINEA PIG!?! How the blazes did you get here?
Guinea Pig: No clue.
Shirley: Well, you can't stay here! Out! Out! Out!
Guinea Pig: Now, now, my good fellow. I only just arrived. Now that I'm here I might as well stay a while.
Shirley: ARGGG!!!
Webster: Calm down, Shirley.
Hershell: Ya, old timer. Chill. Don't blow a fuse.
Guinea Pig: You stole my line!
Shirley: I am NOT an old timer!
Gerbil 2: Heyyyyyyy yaaaaa.......
Guinea Pig: Pee-yew! Do gerbils ever brush their teeth?
Hershell (in shock): Teeth?!? WHERE?!?!
Webster: Aw, now look what you did! He's having a piesmere again!
Hershell: (breaks into off-key singing) I believe I can fly...
Guinea Pig: EW! I just stepped on a furry lump covered in woodchips!
Shirley: Oh, that's gerbil number 5. He's dead.
Gerbil 5: I am not dead!
Shirley: Ignore him. He only thinks he's not dead.
Gerbil 5: No, really, I'm not dead!
Shirley: Shut up!
Gerbil 2: Ooh, I love this song! Shut up, just shut up shut up.....
Guinea Pig: Could we all quiet down? I'm gonna go for a snooze.
Hershell: Sounds good to me.
Shirley: But..but what about the battle plans?
Webster: It can wait, gramps.
Shirley: Sheesh. Hamsters.
Guinea Pig: I'm not a hamster! I'm a guinea pig!
Gerbil 2: I'm not a hamster! I'm a gerbil!
Webster: Gee, I'm not sure what I am...
Shirley: Oh, forget it.
Gerbil 2: (softly) Shut up, just shut up..
Guinea Pig: Shut up!
Gerbil 2: You like that song too?
Shirly: *sigh*
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Neville Longbottom attended Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and wizardry. When he decided to bring his pet gerbils to school in the fall, he doesn't realize he's making a big mistake....
Gerbil 1: Okay, gang. Last chapter was an annoying waste of mindless dialogue, so we have to stick to the point this time.
Webster: Speaking of speaking to things, I have something really, really disgusting stuck to my foot.
Hershell: Ugh! I just ate!
Gerbil 2: Speaking of eating, I'm hungry...If I eat one more of these flavourless pellets I'll hurl.
Hershell: Ugh! I just ate!
Gerbil 1: So much for sticking to the point.
Webster: Could you stop mentioning that?
Gerbil 1: (Clears throat) We need to come up with a battle plan for revenge on the humans.
Gerbil 2: But surely they deserve another chance!
Gerbil 1: Don't call me Shirley.
Webster: I can't believe he just said that.
Hershell: Narrator, you know what to do.
Narrator: Hyuk, hyuk! Shirley! You'll never live this down!
Shirley: I feel so humiliated.
Gerbil 2: Blah, blah, blah. *Yawn* This cage is soooo boring. I know! We can all sing! (Breaks into song) Heyyy Yaaa......Heyyyy Yaaaaaaaaaaa..........
Hershell: What is that mess?
Webster: Ya, no offense, dude, but you can't sing.
Gerbil 2: Hmph. That was Outkast, they have the number one song on the charts.
Shirley: How on earth would you know that?
Gerbil 2: Everyone knows that. Get with it, Shirley! Live in the now! HEYYYY YAAAA......
Unidentifiable Guinea Pig: Woah, little gerbily-thing. Don't blow a fuse.
Webster: Gah! A GUINEA PIG!?! How the blazes did you get here?
Guinea Pig: No clue.
Shirley: Well, you can't stay here! Out! Out! Out!
Guinea Pig: Now, now, my good fellow. I only just arrived. Now that I'm here I might as well stay a while.
Shirley: ARGGG!!!
Webster: Calm down, Shirley.
Hershell: Ya, old timer. Chill. Don't blow a fuse.
Guinea Pig: You stole my line!
Shirley: I am NOT an old timer!
Gerbil 2: Heyyyyyyy yaaaaa.......
Guinea Pig: Pee-yew! Do gerbils ever brush their teeth?
Hershell (in shock): Teeth?!? WHERE?!?!
Webster: Aw, now look what you did! He's having a piesmere again!
Hershell: (breaks into off-key singing) I believe I can fly...
Guinea Pig: EW! I just stepped on a furry lump covered in woodchips!
Shirley: Oh, that's gerbil number 5. He's dead.
Gerbil 5: I am not dead!
Shirley: Ignore him. He only thinks he's not dead.
Gerbil 5: No, really, I'm not dead!
Shirley: Shut up!
Gerbil 2: Ooh, I love this song! Shut up, just shut up shut up.....
Guinea Pig: Could we all quiet down? I'm gonna go for a snooze.
Hershell: Sounds good to me.
Shirley: But..but what about the battle plans?
Webster: It can wait, gramps.
Shirley: Sheesh. Hamsters.
Guinea Pig: I'm not a hamster! I'm a guinea pig!
Gerbil 2: I'm not a hamster! I'm a gerbil!
Webster: Gee, I'm not sure what I am...
Shirley: Oh, forget it.
Gerbil 2: (softly) Shut up, just shut up..
Guinea Pig: Shut up!
Gerbil 2: You like that song too?
Shirly: *sigh*