Part Sixteen

I awaken long after, but I don't open my eyes. I just lay where I am, soaking everything up. I feel different. Not like, 'oh, I'm tired' different. More like something's missing and I don't feel like myself anymore' different. I feel empty.

There's nothing there. Nothing except the demon.

But, I guess I can't really call it 'the demon; anymore.

It's part of me.

It *is* me.

Then, I realize what's missing.

My conscious. My *soul* There's nothing in my mind restricting me.

Nothing at all.

I *love* it!

I sit up and open my eyes. I'm not in that dark, swanky cave anymore. I'm at my home. No bruises, no bullet wounds. I'm perfectly fine.

"That's right. We healed you after you fell unconscious. Took away the wounds and cuts on your body."

I look up. In the corner of my room, those two red and golden seer people are there. I know why they look so familiar now. They're like the Oracles. Only, you know, eviler.

They scowl.

"We are nothing like them They work for the higher beings, The Powers That Be." The male answers.

"Stay out of my head!" I snap.

"As you wish." They murmur.

I smirk, realizing that I'm the boss now. I'm in charge. No more, 'Buffy, go slay this' or 'Buffy, go save the world'.

No, we're playing by my own rules now.

"You need to go to your…'friends'. They are at that shop. They're all so *worried* about you." The woman mocks.

I smirk, "Of course they are. I'm Buffy, the superhero. Without me, they're as good as dead."

The male scowls, "You need to be careful. You need to act as you always were, vigilant and cautious. The two vampires, will be especially perceptive as will your Father."

"Of course I'll be careful, you moron. You think I'll go and ruin everything because I want to brag."

"Yes." The male answers.

I laugh, "You're right. But, for now, I'll play nice."

"Good. You'll be able to have your fun soon. Think of what a shock it will be to them."

I purse my lips, "I can't wait to see how they react that their precious Buffy is batting for the other team."

I can hardly wait.

*

I'm in the parking lot of the Magic Shop. I can see them all inside. I almost feel

bad at how distraught they all look.

Almost.

I sigh and lean back for a moment. I feel a little drained. Which, is to be expected. They just sucked my soul out of me, that can be a bit tiring.

Oh, but how good it feels to be free!

I gaze into the mirror at myself. I look different, yet the same. My face is the almost the same. Lips are a bit redder, my cheeks are a bit paler. But, my eyes.

They're darker, and almost empty. Just like Angelus' were. Oh what fun it would be to bring him out to play.

I'll make a note to do that, put it on my 'to-do' list.

I get out of the car and gaze down at myself briefly. There are blood stains all over me.

Not mine, of course, but that vampire that I killed.

There are some minor bruises and cuts the seers left to make it look like I had been kidnapped and tortured. From what they told me, I've been gone for 5 days. Apparently, wherever the hell I was, time moves slower while it moves faster up here.

I put on a good show of limping into the shop and standing tiredly in the doorway.

To say everyone looked surprised to see me would be a serious understatement.

They were all shocked. Stunned, flabbergasted.

I love that word.

Gasp, sob, tear, and gasp again.

I put a small smile of greeting on my face, though inside I was laughing hysterically at them all for being such idiots.

"Hey guys."

*

"Hey guys." I said softly.

"Oh my god!" Dawn screamed, throwing her arms around me.

I winced.

Damn it, that really hurt! God, I put snap her pretty little neck for that! I want too. But, no fun for me. I squint my eyes and play bravado Buffy.

"Are you hurt?" She gasps.

I shake my head, "I'll be fine."

"Where have you been?" My Father demands coming up to me.

The fire inside me burns with rage. He did this to me. All because he had to work late and have some fucking vampire bite him.

"Like you care." I snap, "As I recall, wasn't it your guards that *shot* me?" I sneered.

He backs up like he can't believe what he's seeing.

Shit.

I'm letting too much anger show.

I sigh, "Sorry. Getting tortured makes you a bit cranky." I murmured.

"Good Lord, tortured?" Giles gasps.

Good ole Geeves.

"Yeah. Can I sit down now?" I ask my sister and she pulls away from me sheepishly.

"How are you alive?" Angel asks quietly.

I look at him and I make the mistake of making direct eye contact. My insides flutter because it seems like he's staring into me and seeing what I am.

That's crazy. He's no superhero. A souled vamp, yeah, but he doesn't have telepathy or whatever.

I look down, "I'm fine thanks." I murmur.

"Buffy, where were you?" This time it's Willow, who looks like she going to cry.

Oh man, just stuff it already!

"I was in a demon dimension." I answer quietly, not meeting any gazes, make

them think I'm ashamed

"I fell out of the building, and it was like everything stopped. It felt like I was falling forever. Then, I guess someone opened a portal or something and I went right through it. It hurt, so much. Much worse than Glory's portal."

I paused, the tension was thick, and everyone was anticipating what I was to say next. Let the drama begin.

"I guess I blacked out because when I woke up, I was chained down. These demons, kind of like the First…" I trailed off and shook my head, "I don't really remember… It hurt though. They did things…" I shook my head again.

"Why did they take you?" Angel asks.

Damn it!

He doesn't believe me.

"I don't know!" I yell, standing up and pacing, "I didn't really ask when I was being tortured. Couldn't quite find a good enough time. Hmm, maybe it should have been before the knives and after the fire!" I snap.

"Buffy, how did you get out?" Wesley asks.

Good old Wesley. I'll spare him when the battle comes, he believed me, always did.

"I killed them, and it all disappeared and I was right where I should have landed."

Willow looked sick, "You killed them?"

"It was me or them." I answered, my voice devoid of emotion.

"You didn't save one and even ask them why they took you? Get answers?" Xander asked.

"Oh God! I knew it would come down to this! Why can't you just leave things be? Would you rather me dead? Because that's what would have happened if I had let them, even one, live, you know that, so don't ask stupid questions about things you know nothing about." I sneer.

"Then, let me ask. I've been to a hell dimension for a couple hundred years. It's almost impossible to get free, let alone escape. So how, pray tell, did you do it?"

Angel asks, his voice cocky but his eyes hard and cold.

"I don't give up, like some people. You play their game long enough then it's your turn. They hurt you, you hurt them back. You let them have their fun, then it's my turn. Revenge is sweet and payback's a bitch." I say very softly, though my voice is hard. Tears of fury and hurt pool in my eyes.

I hate them.

All of them.

Spike looks up at me for the first time. His eyes are searching mine. He's looking for something and is obviously not finding it. His eyes darken. Though he is acting like he's insane, he's not. He knows.

Damn!

"Do you know what they wanted?" Giles asked me.

He believes me.

Good.

All is not screwed up.

"Yeah. I actually do. You remember evil roommate Kathy? Well, they wanted to suck out my soul, kind of like her. Something about power."

Angel looks at me intently, "There's blood on you."

I look at my hands, "What of it?"

"It's not yours." He says.

"So, it's the demons." I answer, looking at my hand.

A shiver goes through me, then a pang of hunger.

"I should go wash it off…" I murmur and walk slowly to the back room.

I hear them start to talk about me.

"Something's wrong."

"Don't believe her."

"Lying."

I turn on the cold water and stick my hands under it.

Someone grabs me and I'm pushed against the wall, my hands pinned at the wrists high above me. I growl angrily, being broken from the trance I was in. My eyes flash and I hiss at my attacker.

It's Spike.

"What happened to you!" He demands harshly, changing into the demon.

I smirk and growl at him seductively, "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Buffy, tell me!" He hisses.

I shake back my hair and bare my neck, his eyes travel down, and lock on the throbbing vein.

"You know you want too." I whisper.

"Buffy." He grits out.

I grin, knowing he can't resist any longer. He's weak. He wants what he can't have. I lick my lips, "What do you want?"

"Tell me." He says again. This time lacking resolve.

"You wanna know what happened, I found myself. Found who I really am and baby, it's a blast."

He lets go of me, his eyes disbelieving.

I love mind games.

"No." He murmurs.

I smirk, "Oh yeah."

I move towards him, my hands snaking around his waist.

And then the door opens.

Uh oh. The jealous ex.

Angel.

*

"What the hell is going on here!" Angel demands.

I drop my hands and shrug, "I was bored."

He rubs his forehead and sighs, "Buffy, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing!"

Angel glares at Spike, "What did you do to her?"

"Oh shut up!" I snap, "Like he did anything. I jumped him. Ok, you happy?"

"What…?" He shakes his head, "Forget it. Ok, don't even want to fucking know anymore. I don't know who you are anymore."

"'Anymore? You never knew who I was! So, don't even try laying the guilt trip on me, 'cause it's not going to work. I don't care if you don't believe me. I don't. But, when the time comes, you'll wish you had." I sneer.

I reach my hand up and trail it down his cheeks and down his lips as I walk away.

If only he knew…