Chapter Three: A Match Made In Hell

Ginny was bored.

This wasn't a rare occurrence while she worked. On the weekends, Honeydukes was packed with kids from Hogwarts, desperate to fill their pockets with Chocolate Frogs and Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. But during the week, adults (who scarcely came in anyhow, with the exception of the occasional husband looking for chocolates for his wife or old Mrs. Glenwood, who had quite the sweet tooth) were all at work, and the children were at school.

And yet Ginny's boss insisted she work.

It could be worse, she decided as she absently sucked on a sugar quill. It wasn't so bad, after all, getting paid seven sickles an hour to do absolutely nothing.

Sighing, she turned the page in Witch Weekly and skimmed over the interview with Celestina Warbeck.

Blah blah blah...new album....bored...blah blah blah...

Her not-so-interesting magazine reading was cut short when the bells on the door jingled merrily, announcing a new customer.

Ginny shut her magazine, put on a cheerful smile, and found herself face-to-face with none other than the King of the Assholes himself, Draco Malfoy.

Even though he'd lived in Hogsmeade for quite some time (in the finest house in the entire town, naturally), before now, Ginny hadn't had the misfortune of running in to him.

Well, she thought, annoyed, All good things must come to an end.

"Can I help you?" she asked icily, staring evenly into cold eyes.

Malfoy fixed his signature smirk on his face. "In more ways than one, Weasley."

Screw being professional.

"Go to hell, Malfoy," she sneered.

"All in good time," he responded, infuriatingly unaffected.

"What do you want?" Ginny asked impatiently. "Hurry up so I can be rid of your presence."

"You know that behind all those insults, you're desperate for me," Malfoy said, an unbearably haughty smile on his face.

"Oh yeah, who wouldn't be desperate for you?" Ginny deadpanned. "You're the number one chauvinistic asshole ever to exist. I just can't hide my true feelings anymore! Being treated like shit totally turns me on."

Malfoy nodded, a cool laugh escaping his lips. "Yeah, I can tell. So, you want to go out to dinner this Friday?"

Ginny stared at him blankly for a moment, attempting to process the words.

There was no way he was serious.

"You know, I would laugh, except I can't seem to find any humor in that," she commented dryly.

"I'm not joking, Weasley," Malfoy returned easily. "How about it? Friday, eight o'clock at The Golden Watch?"

Many an answer flew through Ginny's head, the top three being 'No way', 'I'd rather date my own grandfather', and the ever-popular 'Fuck you'.

But as she opened her mouth to answer, she realized something.

Harry hated Malfoy. Detested him, really. If Ginny were to start dating him, it'd bug Harry at least a little.

And most likely, a lot.

Ginny fixed a sickly sweet grin on her face. "Sure. I'd love to."

It's payback time, Mr. Potter.

~*~

Ginny had first suspected that Harry needed a bit of help cleaning dinner when she heard the shouted swear words pouring from the kitchen. She ignored him, not wanting to seem to eager, and instead kept flipping through Witch Weekly.

"Dammit!" Harry yelled from the kitchen.

She flipped the page.

"Dammit dammit dammit!"

Flipped another page.

"AAAAUUUURRRRGGGHHH!!"

Ginny bit her lip to hold back laughter.

And then...

BOOOOOOM!

Perhaps, she concluded silently, He needs a bit of help.

She left her magazine and made her way into the kitchen to find Harry covered in spaghetti sauce and swearing madly.

"Need help?" Ginny asked weakly.

He spun around.

"Gin," he sighed, sounding relieved. "Do you by any chance know how to cook?"

The sight of Harry covered in spaghetti sauce and looking utterly miserable was just too much.

After a moment of silence, she burst into hysterical laughter.

"What??" Harry asked defensively, glaring at her.

"Don't you find it..." she began between giggles, "Just a little bit funny...that the Boy Who Lived...can't make spaghetti sauce?"

Harry fought back a smile and returned, "No! Now heeelp!"

"Grovel," Ginny responded promptly.

Harry studied her incredulously, green eyes sparkling. "What?"

"You heard me," Ginny said with a saccharine smile. "Grovel!"

Harry studied her quizzically for a moment before throwing himself over-exaggeratedly to the floor.

"Oh, Ginny!" he wailed in agony. "Please help me cook, O Goddess of the Kitchen! Save me from this eternal hell that is spaghetti sauce!"

She held back her laughter and fixed a regal expression on her face. With an airy wave of her hand, she responded, "Well, I suppose I could grant you that one simple request."

"Good," Harry replied, rising from the floor. "Because I'm not about to grovel again any time soon."

Ginny laughed and studied the pot on the stove that held an incredibly thick red substance that slightly resembled spaghetti sauce. Huge clumps of tomato and raw onion littered the liquid.

"That's...great," Ginny said, wrinkling her nose. "Really appetizing."

"Shut up," Harry replied crossly. "I never claimed that I could cook."

"How do you survive?" Ginny asked, laughing. "I'm surprised you haven't died of starvation yet!"

"There's this thing called take-out, and it's saved my life," Harry replied earnestly.

"Thank God for it," Ginny said, staring down once more at the...er...spaghetti sauce. "Because that is the most disgusting thing I've seen all day. Including Malfoy."

"Malfoy?" Harry repeated disdainfully.

"Yeah," Ginny responded casually. "He came into the store earlier."

"Oh," Harry said, wrinkling his nose. "Yay. Well, not speaking of Malfoy, wanna go see Ron and Herm Friday night?"

Mwahaha, Ginny cackled inwardly.

"Actually," she replied breezily, "Friday's not good for me. I have a date."

Suspicion immediately tensed up Harry's features.

"With who?" he asked at once.

Bingo.

"Draco," Ginny said, holding back a triumphant smile.

"Draco? As in, Draco Malfoy??" asked Harry, face immediately flushing red.

"Yup," Ginny replied easily.

"Why the hell are you going on a date with him, Ginny?!" Harry exploded. "He's a complete bastard! He's awful! You know that guys like him only want one thing!"

"Really, Harry?" Ginny asked sweetly. "And what's that?"

"B...w...ah...I..." Harry stuttered, looking bewildered.

"I think I'm going to go take a bath," Ginny said innocently, a smile spreading across her face.

And she walked slowly out of the kitchen, leaving Harry staring at her in shock.

"Sex!" he yelled after her. "Sex!!"

Ginny smirked.

Maybe Malfoy will be quite useful after all.