Killer Fiend
(To the tune of "Killer Queen")
He keeps his wormwood and wolfsbane
in a grimy cabinet.
"Let's deduct points" he says,
"Worse brats I have never met."
He can brew remedies
for just about anything.
Any kind
of invitation he will decline.
Angst would be his epithet.
No use for etiquette.
Extraordinary, his vice.
He's a killer fiend,
part of you-know-who's new team.
"Crucio " and he'll make you scream.
Guaranteed to make you cry,
Every time...
Oooh, wrecking egos in a trice,
Impatient and he's full of spite.
What a guy!
To avoid complications,
Hogwarts would be his home address.
His motivation,
his students, they could never guess.
Punishing those whiners,
to him there's nothing finer.
Then again, incidentally -
if you're that way inclined.....
Potions came naturally, with no mess.
For kids he couldn't care less.
Fastidious and precise.
He's a killer fiend,
part of you-know-who's new team.
"Crucio " and he'll make you scream.
Guaranteed to make you cry.
Every time...
[Musical interlude]
Drop of a gnat
He's as wicked as
Looks just like a giant bat.
Momentarily out of earshot,
They all mock him behind his back.
He absolutely will not smile.
He's going to get you
He's a killer fiend,
part of you-know-who's new team
"Crucio " and he'll make you scream
Guaranteed to make you cry.
Every time...
Oooh, wrecking egos in a trice,
Impatient and he's full of spite.
What a guy!
What a guy...
(To the tune of "Killer Queen")
He keeps his wormwood and wolfsbane
in a grimy cabinet.
"Let's deduct points" he says,
"Worse brats I have never met."
He can brew remedies
for just about anything.
Any kind
of invitation he will decline.
Angst would be his epithet.
No use for etiquette.
Extraordinary, his vice.
He's a killer fiend,
part of you-know-who's new team.
"Crucio " and he'll make you scream.
Guaranteed to make you cry,
Every time...
Oooh, wrecking egos in a trice,
Impatient and he's full of spite.
What a guy!
To avoid complications,
Hogwarts would be his home address.
His motivation,
his students, they could never guess.
Punishing those whiners,
to him there's nothing finer.
Then again, incidentally -
if you're that way inclined.....
Potions came naturally, with no mess.
For kids he couldn't care less.
Fastidious and precise.
He's a killer fiend,
part of you-know-who's new team.
"Crucio " and he'll make you scream.
Guaranteed to make you cry.
Every time...
[Musical interlude]
Drop of a gnat
He's as wicked as
Looks just like a giant bat.
Momentarily out of earshot,
They all mock him behind his back.
He absolutely will not smile.
He's going to get you
He's a killer fiend,
part of you-know-who's new team
"Crucio " and he'll make you scream
Guaranteed to make you cry.
Every time...
Oooh, wrecking egos in a trice,
Impatient and he's full of spite.
What a guy!
What a guy...