For the next few days things at Sanctuary were particularly tense. Jesse tried to talk to Lexa about what had happened between them at least a half dozen times a day, everyday for a week. After the first time he brought it up when the four of them were having dinner together Lexa stopped eating with the team. She made sure they were never alone in the same room, and skipped any training sessions where they had been scheduled to spar together.
If he tried to talk to her about a mission or something team related, she'd act as if nothing had ever happened between the two of them. When he tried to touch her, she'd pull away, or side step him. He brought her flowers and left them in her room, but within minutes of leaving them there he'd find them either in front of his door or in other places that Lexa didn't spend much time in.

On the morning of the eighth day, Shalimar's knocks on his door woke him up. He answered the door, groggy and disheveled. "Yeah?"

"Jesse, she's gone."

Startled, Jesse straightened. He looked at Shalimar, trying to read her body language while his mind raced thru the possibilities. "Where, when? Did she leave a note? Is her stuff still here?"

Taking him by the arm, the feral tried to sooth him. "Calm down Jess. She took the jeep about 2 hours ago. From the looks of the security tapes she had a bag with her and a big box. It looks like most of her stuff is still in her room, but I can't tell. She didn't have a lot here to begin with."

"Does she have her com ring on? Have you tried it?" Jesse turned his on quickly, and called out her name. "Lexa? Are you there? Lexa- answer me goddamn it."

Shalimar held up Lexa's ring slowly, and handed it to Jesse. "I found it in the training room, by the bag."

"Did she say anything to you before she left? Anything to Brennan?" Jesse ran his fingers thru his hair in a desperate attempt to stay calm. "Do you know if she got any calls from the Dominion this morning or last night?"

"I didn't see her this morning- we were supposed to spar later this afternoon, but I wanted to go into town to get some groceries then. I was looking for her to see if we could do it this morning instead. Brennan took the Helix this morning to put some flight time in."

"Brennan?" Jesse called to the elemental as he started reviewing the security tapes and the communications logs.

"Yeah bro, what is it?"

"This is very important- when was the last time you talked to Lexa?"

The tall mutant didn't answer right away as he tried to think back.

"Brennan, are you there? Lexa's missing, and she left her ring." The desperation oozed from Jesse's voice.

"I'm sorry man, I was just trying to think. We talked briefly yesterday after our training session, but she didn't say anything important. We were in sim room 2, there should be a tape."

Not bothering to respond, Jesse pulled up the feed from the session and searched for their conversation.

L: "You're getting pretty quick there Bren, that was a nice hustle."

B: "Maybe you're just getting old Lexa. Another minute there and you wouldn't have completed the sim."

L: "Whatever Brennan, I got the job done. That's all that matters."

B: "A little finesse doesn't hurt."

L: Shrugs and takes a long drink of water.

B: "So... you and Jesse work things out yet?"

L: Shakes her head. "There's nothing to work out. I let things get out of hand for a while, but it's over. We're like oil and water. Don't really mix."

B: "Are you sure it's not more like oil & vinegar? Those two go really well together when you shake things up a little."

L: Doesn't say anything for a moment as she fixes her shoe lace. "Jesse deserves better Brennan, we both know that. For now, just leave it alone, please?"

B: "He's miserable Lexa, you've got to see that."

L: "Please Brennan. Stirring things up won't make him any less miserable. We both just need our space."

the two left the room & the tape ends.

"SHIT!" Jesse said hitting the counter.

"What?" Shalimar asks, coming to his side quickly. "What was on the
tape?"

"She said we needed our space. Do you think she actually left? Why
now?"

"I don't know Jesse. Did you find any communications?"

"There's a four minute one that came in last night to her terminal. It's encrypted of course, but the encryption has the Dominion's signature pattern all over it."

"So it was probably the Beard?"

Jesse nods and pounds the desk again. "I don't know what to do Shal. It was bad enough when she was ignoring me. At least she was here then. She didn't even leave a note."

Tentatively, Shalimar made a suggestion. "The last time we needed to reach the Dominion, Brennan shorted out fuse in something- I don't know what- but within 5 seconds, the Beard was on the screen harassing him about it. You could try something like that."

Jesse turned to face her and asked softly, "Do you think he'd actually tell me anything? He's made it pretty clear that he's not a big fan." Rubbing his temple, he felt like putting his fist thru the computer monitor when he saw Shalimar's face light up.

From behind him, he heard Lexa's voice call out, "A little help here would be nice." He turned around to see her carrying her duffle and two big brown bags of groceries. Jumping up, he ran to her.

As she put the bags on the counter, he took her in his arms and kissed her. Startled, she froze, then kissed him back tentatively for a moment before trying to break the kiss. He wouldn't have it. He pulled her closer to him and kissed her with all the pent up frustration from the past week.

When he finally let her go, Lexa collapsed slightly against the counter, her hand accidentally making contact with an orphaned glass of water. Jesse couldn't suppress a self-satisfied grin when the water started to boil, then evaporated completely in mere seconds.

Clearing her throat, Lexa looked over to Shalimar, avoiding Jesse's gaze completely. "I guess I ah, I should get the groceries more often."

"That's where you went?" Shalimar asked as she gave the brunet a quick hug. "We- I- thought you took off."

Looking perplexed, Lexa started to put the groceries away. "What made you think that?"

"You left your ring, it was Shalimar's turn to make the run, you didn't leave a note, you were gone for nearly two and a half hours, you got a call from the Beard last night that you didn't mention-"Jesse listed, using his fingers to count off each point.

"I get it, I get it, I'm sorry. Next time I'll wear the ring and leave a note." Lexa laughed. "Don't just stand there Jesse, there are two more bags in the jeep." Jesse looked like he was going to continue his rant, but the sight of Lexa smiling at him melted his resistance and he went without further protest.

Shalimar handed Lexa her ring. "He was freaking out Lexa. He's got it bad for you."

Slipping it on, Lexa watched Jesse's retreating form. "I know," she said softly. "I didn't mean for this to happen. I shouldn't have..." Clearing her throat Lexa opened the freezer, "there are a lot of things I shouldn't have done."

"I still don't understand why you can't be together. You obviously care about him, and we both know he cares about you. All he's told me is that you were resistant from the start, but that he thought you were going to give it a try until the Beard stepped in."

"When did you start calling him the Beard?" Lexa asked as Shalimar handed her some microwave pizza bagels.

"I don't know, Jesse called him that to Brennan when the two of them were drowning Jesse's sorrows and the name just stuck. You can't tell me that you're happy about this. I know you've given Jess crap for his fondness for the pizza bagels on at least three occasions, and here you've bought him two boxes. In fact," Shalimar said as she surveyed the things that Lexa bought, "Jesse loves almost everything here- and you never eat this stuff. This is all Jesse food." Shalimar arched her brow at Lexa accusatorily.

"I got things you and Brennan like too." Lexa sniffed defensively.

"But nothing you like."

"I haven't been hungry recently."

Shalimar watched Lexa watch Jesse return with the other two bags. She'd have to report that back to Jesse. She had a feeling that if Jesse asked Lexa to eat more, Lexa would, even if it wasn't with Jesse by her side.

"So what was in the box?" Jesse asked as he put the bags down.

"Excuse me?" Lexa asked, confused.

"The box you took with you this morning," Shalimar explained, "When we couldn't find you, I watched the security tape to look for clues."

"Oh. I took some of the flowers Jesse brought home to the maternity ward down at County. It's Mother's Day." Lexa tried to act nonchalant. "I guess I should have asked you about it first, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings. They were so beautiful, I thought that someone should enjoy them."

The tension was almost more than Shalimar could bear. She wasn't Lexa's biggest fan, but once in a while, she was pleasantly surprised by the new addition. "That was sweet Lexa. Why did you choose them?" Shalimar watched as Lexa and Jesse stared at each other, Jesse unwilling and Lexa unable to break eye contact.

Slowly Lexa turned to her. "I remembered seeing a group of teen mothers at the grocery store the last time I was down there. They were on some sort of field trip to learn how to find healthy, affordable food for themselves and their babies. The girls just looked so lost and alone." Lexa paused for a moment, seemingly debating whether to go on. "I know how the flowers made me feel the first time Jesse put them in my room." She glanced at Jesse, and continued. "I don't have a right to feel comforted by them anymore, but I thought that these girls- they could use some of that comfort, especially today. So I took the flowers to them. Maybe they'll feel special, they'll feel loved."

Jesse nodded, unable to speak. He swallowed once, twice, and then a third time before he could finally force any words out. "I'm sure they'll really appreciate it. It was a good idea Lexa."

Lexa shrugged, playing it off. "Eh, I thought so. I'm sure the Beard would think it was stupid."

Jesse, who had been in the middle of drinking some soda, spurt it into the sink. "Who taught you that?"

Guiltily Shalimar raised her hand. "It's just so catchy Jesse. It just slipped out."

"I'm going to have to be careful not to call him that to his face," Lexa said, taking a sip of Jesse's soda.

"Hey what did he want last night?" Shalimar asked, filing the soda incident into her catalogue of Lexa-Jesse intimacies.

"It was another 'don't fish in the company pond' pep talks." Lexa sighed and handed Jesse his soda back.

Shalimar watched as a cringing Jesse held his ground. She felt like an organizer of a chess match- some what superfluous to the actual event, but never the less necessary to ensure that the event took place. "I thought the problem wasn't that you two worked together so much as he was afraid you'd develop actual feelings for each other."

Jesse nodded. "That's what it sounded like to me."

Lexa rolled her eyes. "It's complicated."

Shalimar raised her eyebrow again. "It can't be any more complicated than being apart. You barely eat and he barely sleeps."

Lexa tapped the counter lightly with the fingers of her left hand. "That's not true. Jesse and I were like an out of control roller coaster. We're just lucky that we didn't have any jobs to do during that time. Can you imagine how distracting that would have been, even for you and Brennan? At least now I can have a civilized conversation with Jesse without launching something at his head or trying to jump his bones."

"But you're not talking to me. Everything you say is directed to Shalimar. You're only comfortable discussing this at all because she's here and therefore we can't end up in bed." Jesse's words were harsh, but his tone gentle, almost pleading.

Looking directly at him, Lexa spoke slowly. "I'm trying my best here Jesse. One of the reasons the Beard didn't want this to happen is because I'm not very good at it. I don't share well, I don't play nice with others- unless there's something in it for me. I'm trying really hard to be decent about this. I haven't yelled, I haven't struck out at you irrationally. I've made sure to pull my weight, if not more, around Sanctuary. I've made sure not to put us into situations where I might relapse-"

"I'm not some disease Lexa." Jesse spat out.

Glancing at Shalimar, Lexa nodded in agreement. "You're right, you're not. Look, this isn't fair to Shalimar. I'd say let's go somewhere to finish this discussion, but you have to realize by now that no matter how much we talk about it, I am not in a position where I can change my mind. So please Jesse, don't make this harder on either of us than it already is. You may not be a disease but being with you is like a drug, and I don't have the luxury of enjoying the high nor the strength of will to go thru withdrawal again."

"Lexa... baby please..." Jesse begged- reaching out to touch her.

"Jesse, don't. Tell me now if my being here is too much for you, because if it is, the Dominion has someone they can rotate in. I want to stay, but if that's not going to work, I've been offered a position in Brazil. I wasn't going to tell you about it- I didn't think it was necessary, but maybe it is. Anyway I have till midnight to accept, which I guess leaves you 12 hours to discuss it." Hearing the door from the hanger open and shut, Lexa glanced over to see Brennan entering the room. "Now that Brennan's here, maybe the three of you will want to talk about it. The candidate's resume is on my desktop, feel free to download it and take a look." Picking up her now empty duffel, Lexa swung it over her shoulder and started to leave. "Just let me know when you make your decision. I'll have my ring on this time."

"What's going on?" Brennan looked from person to person as Lexa walked away.

"Lexa- wait. Lexa!" Jesse called after her.

Before he could go after Lexa, Shalimar grabbed his wrist. "She's serious Jesse. We really need to talk about this." Turning to Brennan, Shalimar guided Jesse to the lab, motioning for Brennan to follow. "Come on, I'll fill you in the lab."