Lexa wanted to go to her room and cry. Better yet, she wanted to go to
Springfield and cry. Neither was an option. Instead she stopped by the
lab to pick up the numbers she was working on and headed to the hanger to
work on the computer there. She didn't want to be around while the three
of them discussed her future.
She hadn't known what to say when the Dominion had contacted her last night
with their proposal. Frankly she wasn't sure how much the Beard was
telling the Council. She had a feeling they knew little, if anything,
about her relationship with Jesse. She knew how Council worked- the Beard
wouldn't risk his position by revealing that he was having a difficult time
controlling her.
Looking at the clock, she wondered how long they would take talking it
over. She knew she was making progress with the team, but part of her was
still worried. Jesse would probably want her around, but if he didn't
Brennan and Shalimar would vote her off the island without a second
thought. Their ability to work together as a team was the biggest issue
here, with safety being priority one. Unfortunately Beard was right- when
it came to Jesse, Lexa knew her judgment was altered. She just didn't know
in what way.
None of that mattered at all though. She knew Jesse was surprised when
she'd broken it off at Beard's insistence, but she didn't have any other
choice. She had promised herself a long time ago that if she was given a
chance, she'd do everything she could to protect what she had been given,
and she wasn't about to go back on that. She had failed Leo, but she
wouldn't fail again.
For a full hour Lexa managed to put everything out of her mind and
concentrate on entering data. She wasn't so foolish as to try to analyze
it right now, but at least some progress was being made. At two she
decided to take a break.
She allowed herself to think back to how she'd handled the situation with
Jesse and the Beard once more. She was confident that she had been as fair
to Jesse as she could. She knew also that she had shown just enough back
bone so that Beard probably still thought he had the upper hand. It was
important that she give him that illusion of power. When a member of the
Council felt outgunned, they did what any good soldier would do- search for
weakness. Beard knew more about her than anyone else alive did, yet to her
knowledge, he did not know about Springfield, or why it was so important to
her. Unfortunately, he had all the pieces of the puzzle. She could not
afford for him to pursue the matter.
Lexa glanced at the clock again- suddenly it was a quarter after 3. She
wasn't hungry, but she knew she had to keep her strength up, so she headed
back to the kitchen. She looked thru the fridge- nothing appealed to her.
In the pantry there was everything she needed to make smores, but in case
the Dominion was watching, she opted out of that particular comfort food.
Nothing says "I'm insecure" more effectively than a childhood favorite
food. In the back of the cupboard she found some chocolate pudding mix and
settled on that. The box said she'd have to leave it in the fridge for
five minutes after she made it in order for it to set. She could probably
get away with making it and forgetting it in the fridge- that way she
wouldn't need to eat any of it.
Jesse, Shalimar and Brennan entered the kitchen as Lexa was opening the
package and pouring it into the mixing bowl. She glanced at them and
poured the milk. "I'll only be a minute, then I'll be out of your hair."
Brennan shook his head- "Stay."
Lexa turned to face them as she stirred- "No, seriously, I'll be done in a
sec, it's no problem. The pudding has to set anyway."
Shalimar smiled and put her hand on Lexa's shoulder. "No, what we mean is
we want you to stay. We looked at that other mutant's profile. She sounds
really boring. There's no way she'd be any fun to have a cat fight with."
"Are you sure? I mean she can levitate and move things with her mind and I
think I saw in there that she's a certified personal trainer, not to
mention gourmet chef with a doctorate in nuclear physics and bio
engineering." Lexa was careful not to make eye contact with Jesse as she
put the pudding in the fridge.
"She's also 19, butt ugly and a Republican. I mean come on." Jesse forced
out, trying to lighten the mood. "How am I supposed to fall for a barely
legal Republican?"
"Jesse, I'm a Republican." Lexa argued, exasperated.
"See- once bitten, twice shy." Jesse joked.
"Besides," Shalimar interjected, "We already called the Beard and told him we wanted to keep you and that Brazil can kiss our asses."
"Not in those exact words I hope." Lexa laughed, relieved.
"I believe there was some swearing involved." Brennan said with a straight face. "Nothing you wouldn't approve of."
"You do realize that man can make all of our lives a living hell, don't you?" Lexa ran her fingers thru her hair, then leaned on the counter, enjoying the moment.
"Oh I know, believe me, I know." Jesse said, shoving his hands in his pockets and moving closer to her. "I'm thinking of sending the next water bill. You don't want to know how many cold showers I've had to take, and will have to continue to take this month."
Lexa looked at him tenderly. "Hey, I can't help it if I'm unforgettable."
"Um, you guys, I thought we were going to get passed the flirting." Brennan stepped between the two of them and physically separating them.
"Well actually... I have this idea." Shalimar raised her hand, not to be forgotten. When they all turned toward her, she winked and then continued. "I say we set up a schedule so the two of you know were the other is at all times- and you just avoid each other for a month or so. Brennan and I can baby-sit."
Brennan winked too. "You know, that probably isn't a bad idea, but before we get started, I say we have a picnic out by Sector C to celebrate." He motioned for them to take off their rings- "I'm going to go get changed, what do you say we meet here in 5?"
"Actually," Lexa said, motioning for them to stop, and leave their rings on. "I don't think we really need to change. I was just in the hanger- it's not that cold outside. I can grab us some vests or wind breakers while you three pack."
"I don't know Lexa, Shalimar is pretty sensitive to the cold...." Brennan frowned. "I think maybe-"
"Trust me Brennan, she'll be fine." Lexa shook her head. "I know you're just looking out for the team- but give a girl some credit, will you?
Jesse looked from person to person, both amused and intrigued. "My vote's with Lexa's idea."
Rolling her eyes Shalimar replied drolly, "That's the freaking problem Jesse. Get over it already."
The four of them burst out laughing and started their respective tasks.
* * * * * * *
Thirty minutes later and all four of them are out of range of Sanctuary's surveillance equipment, and tucked warmly into jackets and vests that Lexa has provided. Catching their attention, Lexa zipped the vest up, and buttoned one of the pockets closed, motioning for them to do the same.
When they had complied, Lexa spoke. "It would have been suspicious for all of us to leave our rings. The jackets are set up to provide different levels of interference. Right now we're all on the radar, but no sound is being transmitted. Other settings will project your location as being the Helix, or Sanctuary- or anyplace else on the planet for that matter."
"So say you wanted to go to France, if you were wearing this vest, they'd think you were still in bed." Jesse asked, remembering back to their walk.
"Yes. If they were watching, the video feed would show you getting back into bed and loop back into old copy of you." Lexa explained as they walked along further. "Right now, they're hearing a remixed discussion spliced together from four months worth of conversations."
"When do you have time to secretly build these gizmos?" Shalimar wondered out loud.
"No comment." Lexa laughed. "So what is it that you wanted to talk about?"
"I want you to tell us what he has on you. And I want to tell them about the last walk we took," Jesse announced.
"No," Lexa replied calmly.
"If you tell us what it is, then you don't have to be afraid of him holding it over you anymore," Brennan argued.
"It's not my secret to tell, and telling you even part of it is asking for trouble. I shouldn't have taken you with me the last time Jesse. I basically created a loose end when I did. If enough loose ends exist, it's pretty easy to trace everything back to that secret, and like I said, it isn't mine to tell." Lexa tried to stay calm, but her heart was racing. "My grandfather is a hard man. If he knew you knew something, he'd stop at nothing to find out what it was, and then eliminate you."
"Hold up, who said anything about family here,' Brennan asked, "I thought we were talking about the Beard blackmailing you?"
Lexa patiently explained, "The Beard IS my grandfather- my mother's father."
"Let me get this straight, the reason why you have an in with the Dominion is because you're related to one of their head honchos?" Shalimar paced, trying to get a grasp on the situation.
Lexa nodded. "One of the reasons my parents volunteered for the original experiment was because my grandfather was part of the team that initiated it. Adam may have been the brains behind the science, but my grandfather helped set up the trials."
Jesse slammed his fist into a near by tree, surprising the others. "This just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?"
Again, Lexa nodded. "That's why it's so important for this to end with me."
Folding his arms, Brennan turned to Lexa. "So why did he let what happened to Leo happen? If he's so well connected, he could have protected him, got him more help than you ever could."
"Leo... was a liability. I remember my mother once saying that you're only as strong as your weakest link. Leo was my grandfather's weakest link. You have to understand that my family is... was... military, born and bred. Leo could have been an amazing asset to an espionage division, but instead he... was a lover, not a fighter. When Leo got sick, I made a deal with my grandfather- I would follow in the family business, if he would leave Leo out of it."
"But Leo's dead, you don't have to do anything for that man anymore," Jesse interjected. "There's no reason why we can't be together. The only person you need to protect now is yourself."
Shaking her head, Lexa disagreed. "I've told you, it's not that simple. There are things you don't know about- can't know about which complicate the situation."
"Who are you trying to protect Lexa?" Shalimar asked softly. "This isn't about money, or power, or family loyalty, so that means it has to be about a person."
Suddenly the pieces fell into place for Jesse. "That man- the last man you chose for yourself- this has something to do with him, doesn't it?"
"Jesse, please- just stop, all right? I can't talk about this, especially not with you." Lexa stared at him, begging with her eyes as well as her words.
"What happened to him Lexa? Whatever it was, it must have been awful, but you said yourself you knew it wasn't your fault." Jesse reached for her, but she took a step back.
"Besides," Shalimar interjected, "We already called the Beard and told him we wanted to keep you and that Brazil can kiss our asses."
"Not in those exact words I hope." Lexa laughed, relieved.
"I believe there was some swearing involved." Brennan said with a straight face. "Nothing you wouldn't approve of."
"You do realize that man can make all of our lives a living hell, don't you?" Lexa ran her fingers thru her hair, then leaned on the counter, enjoying the moment.
"Oh I know, believe me, I know." Jesse said, shoving his hands in his pockets and moving closer to her. "I'm thinking of sending the next water bill. You don't want to know how many cold showers I've had to take, and will have to continue to take this month."
Lexa looked at him tenderly. "Hey, I can't help it if I'm unforgettable."
"Um, you guys, I thought we were going to get passed the flirting." Brennan stepped between the two of them and physically separating them.
"Well actually... I have this idea." Shalimar raised her hand, not to be forgotten. When they all turned toward her, she winked and then continued. "I say we set up a schedule so the two of you know were the other is at all times- and you just avoid each other for a month or so. Brennan and I can baby-sit."
Brennan winked too. "You know, that probably isn't a bad idea, but before we get started, I say we have a picnic out by Sector C to celebrate." He motioned for them to take off their rings- "I'm going to go get changed, what do you say we meet here in 5?"
"Actually," Lexa said, motioning for them to stop, and leave their rings on. "I don't think we really need to change. I was just in the hanger- it's not that cold outside. I can grab us some vests or wind breakers while you three pack."
"I don't know Lexa, Shalimar is pretty sensitive to the cold...." Brennan frowned. "I think maybe-"
"Trust me Brennan, she'll be fine." Lexa shook her head. "I know you're just looking out for the team- but give a girl some credit, will you?
Jesse looked from person to person, both amused and intrigued. "My vote's with Lexa's idea."
Rolling her eyes Shalimar replied drolly, "That's the freaking problem Jesse. Get over it already."
The four of them burst out laughing and started their respective tasks.
* * * * * * *
Thirty minutes later and all four of them are out of range of Sanctuary's surveillance equipment, and tucked warmly into jackets and vests that Lexa has provided. Catching their attention, Lexa zipped the vest up, and buttoned one of the pockets closed, motioning for them to do the same.
When they had complied, Lexa spoke. "It would have been suspicious for all of us to leave our rings. The jackets are set up to provide different levels of interference. Right now we're all on the radar, but no sound is being transmitted. Other settings will project your location as being the Helix, or Sanctuary- or anyplace else on the planet for that matter."
"So say you wanted to go to France, if you were wearing this vest, they'd think you were still in bed." Jesse asked, remembering back to their walk.
"Yes. If they were watching, the video feed would show you getting back into bed and loop back into old copy of you." Lexa explained as they walked along further. "Right now, they're hearing a remixed discussion spliced together from four months worth of conversations."
"When do you have time to secretly build these gizmos?" Shalimar wondered out loud.
"No comment." Lexa laughed. "So what is it that you wanted to talk about?"
"I want you to tell us what he has on you. And I want to tell them about the last walk we took," Jesse announced.
"No," Lexa replied calmly.
"If you tell us what it is, then you don't have to be afraid of him holding it over you anymore," Brennan argued.
"It's not my secret to tell, and telling you even part of it is asking for trouble. I shouldn't have taken you with me the last time Jesse. I basically created a loose end when I did. If enough loose ends exist, it's pretty easy to trace everything back to that secret, and like I said, it isn't mine to tell." Lexa tried to stay calm, but her heart was racing. "My grandfather is a hard man. If he knew you knew something, he'd stop at nothing to find out what it was, and then eliminate you."
"Hold up, who said anything about family here,' Brennan asked, "I thought we were talking about the Beard blackmailing you?"
Lexa patiently explained, "The Beard IS my grandfather- my mother's father."
"Let me get this straight, the reason why you have an in with the Dominion is because you're related to one of their head honchos?" Shalimar paced, trying to get a grasp on the situation.
Lexa nodded. "One of the reasons my parents volunteered for the original experiment was because my grandfather was part of the team that initiated it. Adam may have been the brains behind the science, but my grandfather helped set up the trials."
Jesse slammed his fist into a near by tree, surprising the others. "This just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?"
Again, Lexa nodded. "That's why it's so important for this to end with me."
Folding his arms, Brennan turned to Lexa. "So why did he let what happened to Leo happen? If he's so well connected, he could have protected him, got him more help than you ever could."
"Leo... was a liability. I remember my mother once saying that you're only as strong as your weakest link. Leo was my grandfather's weakest link. You have to understand that my family is... was... military, born and bred. Leo could have been an amazing asset to an espionage division, but instead he... was a lover, not a fighter. When Leo got sick, I made a deal with my grandfather- I would follow in the family business, if he would leave Leo out of it."
"But Leo's dead, you don't have to do anything for that man anymore," Jesse interjected. "There's no reason why we can't be together. The only person you need to protect now is yourself."
Shaking her head, Lexa disagreed. "I've told you, it's not that simple. There are things you don't know about- can't know about which complicate the situation."
"Who are you trying to protect Lexa?" Shalimar asked softly. "This isn't about money, or power, or family loyalty, so that means it has to be about a person."
Suddenly the pieces fell into place for Jesse. "That man- the last man you chose for yourself- this has something to do with him, doesn't it?"
"Jesse, please- just stop, all right? I can't talk about this, especially not with you." Lexa stared at him, begging with her eyes as well as her words.
"What happened to him Lexa? Whatever it was, it must have been awful, but you said yourself you knew it wasn't your fault." Jesse reached for her, but she took a step back.