Disclaimer: J.K Rowling owns it all.
Chapter 5: The first memory.
"Professor Dumbledore I swear to God that we did not do this prank." James said as they were ushered into chairs in front of the Headmaster. He raised an eyebrow.
"Sir, don't you think that if we had done that we would have laid claim to it." Peter said matter-of-factly.
"Well then who DID do the prank?" He asked, blue eyes twinkling.
"Probably Snape and Malfoy." Sirius sneered.
"That would make sense." Remus said thoughtfully. "I mean they have been laying low since for a few weeks now."
"Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin may I ask who you both will blame when Severus and Lucius are not handy?" Dumbledore asked in a slightly exasperated tone. James opened his mouth when there was a tapping on the window. "One moment." Dumbledore stated as he walked over to the window. He opened it and let the owl in. The Marauders shifted uncomfortably in their seats as they watched the old man take the piece of parchment, read it and, after sighing, pen a hasty reply. "You four leave please. We will discus this later." Dumbledore said as he sat down in his desk heavily.
"Is something wrong, Professor?" James asked.
"No." Dumbledore said hastily. "Just go back to your common room." They stood and walked out. Too bad Dumbledore didn't see the look they exchanged as they left. When he heard the door shut he slowly stood and put some powder in the fire. "Astaroth, I need to speak with you." He called.
Astaroth frowned as he swept down the stairs to the Slytherin dungeons. After saying the password he swept through and the whole room went dead quiet. He internally braced himself and took a breath. His eyes, which were a strange burnt orange color, scanned the room.
"Severus, come here. Dumbledore needs to speak with you." He said after he had found Severus and was sure his voice had its normal frosty sound. Sev looked steadily at his teacher before slowly getting up. Astaroth's eyes usually made Sev uneasy but that was not the case tonight. Tonight they held a look of something Sev had yet to see in them, it was a look he would soon know it very well.
"Professor, what's wrong?" Narcessa Black asked. Sev was surprised to see her looking concerned.
~And here I thought that her head was stuck so far up her arse that she wore the rest of her body as a hat. ~ Sev thought.
"Nothing to worry about Miss Black." Astaroth said as he started to lead Sev out. They walked up to the Headmaster's office in silence. It was unnerving but Sev wasn't about to let Astaroth know that. They reached the door and the Professor stopped. "Gum Drops" he said and they went in and up.
"Thank you, Astaroth. Severus please take a seat." Dumbledore said as he tried to smile at the boy. Sev felt his stomach tighten a bit as he sat down. He kept his face passive as he stared at the older man. Astaroth smirked a bit, knowing full well that Sev's cool gaze was unnerving at a time like this for even the Headmaster to be under. Dumbledore simply sat and took out the peace of parchment from his desk. "Severus, I have some bad news for you. Now I want you to know that we are here for you." Something flickered in Sev's dark eyes. Dumbledore took a breath. Severus Snape was not a slow boy, Dumbledore knew that the boy was putting two and two together and finding out that it did indeed equal four. "Your parents have-"
"Died?" Sev asked, his voice surprisingly calm.
"Yes." Dumbledore said slowly as he looked at Astaroth who simply shrugged. "You are going to live with your uncle for the time that you are not at Hogwarts." Sev started to tune out the older man then. Sev was going to live with his uncle. Severus Snape's uncle was not the most.conventional wizard ever. Well not by the old pureblood families standards anyway. First of all he was an Auror, now this would not be a problem if he would have just married a nice pureblood witch, his cousin Matilda for example, instead of choosing to immerse himself in his work on the rights of god- only-knows-what. Now if he had married Matilda he would have inherited a fairly large sum of money for himself and his only slightly sadistic sister, Sev's mother. However being that he choose to strip himself of the burden of the Snape family name both children inherited nothing. For all Sev knew his grandparents had buried themselves with their money, a notion that did not strike Sev as strange at all. Sev was pondering if maybe he SHOULD think that notion strange when Dumbledore called his name. He focused his dark eyes on the Headmaster once again. "Severus are you alright. I know that the death of parents to a student can be a shocking thing-"
"Sir, my mother did the best that she could for me but the man who called himself my father wasn't really. He just lived with us because my mother didn't think she could do any better for herself. Low self esteem is a horrible thing really." Sev said calmly. Dumbledore looked at Sev closely, trying to see a flicker of emotion in his dark eyes. After finding none he sat back with a sigh.
"Very well Severus. I'll let you know when your uncle owls me with information on the funeral. You may go back to your common room now." He said. Sev nodded and stood up. After nodding at both Professors he left the office. Dumbledore waited till he left to shoot a worried look at Astaroth. The tall man simple shrugged again and left the room. Dumbledore sighed and took out some paperwork.
Sev walked down the halls slowly. He wasn't sure that he wanted to go back to the common room at all. Everyone would want to know why he'd been called to Dumbledore's office and then he'd have to answer questions. Sev never liked being asked questions, it was an invasion of privacy damnit. He was walking down the stairs very slowly when he heard a noise behind him. He turned, wand out and ready for who ever his assailant may be. He saw no one. Sev knew he had heard someone and so he stood perfectly still, trying to use every sense in his body to find the person. After five minutes he turned again. Then he felt someone tap his shoulder. He turned and forgot a very important thing about turning around on stairs, whoever you turn to see will probably use your momentum against you and then you will go flying. I don't care if you're a cat person with all the grace in the world; this is a fact. This is also what happened to Sev. He tumbled down the stairs with just enough time to realize what had happened when he hit the bottom.
"Shit." He whispered to himself. He groped for his wand till someone stood on his hand.
"Good evening Snivellus." Sev frowned at the sound of Sirius' voice. He raised his head to see that all of Potter's gang was there.
"What do you need, Black?" Sev asked. Then he frowned a bit. "And whatever happened to calling me 'Sevy', not that it is much better then 'Snivellus'- "
"Do you have ADD or something?" James asked, looking slightly confused.
"What makes you ask me that?" Sev asked as he turned to the hazel-eyed boy.
"Well you just went from one subject to an entirely different one. Wait, what?" James now seemed completely confused. Sev smirked and raised an eyebrow. Remus frowned at Sev, after realizing that Sev was making a fool out of his friend.
"Shut it Snivellus. Now tell us about the prank that you and Malfoy pulled." Remus said.
"What prank?" Sev asked innocently, or as innocently as he could manage.
"You know what prank." Peter said; blue eyes gleaming as he stepped next to Remus. Sev raised an eyebrow. Who would have thought that Peter could have such a backbone when thrown into the mix with these three? Sev took in a breath as he stalled for time.
"You heard Peter Snivellus, answer us." Sirius said.
"Back off, Black." A cold voice drawled. Sev didn't need to look to know who it was. The cavalry had come, so to speak. Lucius stood flanked by some of Slytherins finest. Sirius glared at the shorter boy.
"Or what Malfoy, you gonna call your daddy to come here." Lucius rolled his gray eyes.
"Obviously I don't need that type of help. Though my father would because I'm not an embarrassment to MY family like you." Lucius said with a smile. That comment hit a nerve because Sirius was flying at Lucius quicker then you could say 'cleansweep'. James and Remus grabbed him and started to drag him off. James said something to the effect of "This isn't over!" as they rounded the corner.
"This isn't over?" Sev repeated as a question as he shook his head. "How.clichéd." Lucius snickered.
"Did you expect any better of them? They're Gryffindors for Gods sake, Severus. They're supposed to run blindly into danger and play hero, not come up with witty comebacks." The blond boy said as he helped him up.
"Why did the Headmaster need you?" Avery asked as he put his wand back into his robes. Sev fixed his gaze on him. Avery was small for a boy their age but had strength enough to make up for it. Avery stared back and Sev noticed the look that most crazy people have. The kind where they look at something or someone for hours but then all of a sudden they have to dart their eyes everywhere at once, almost as if they're making up for lost time or something. In short, Avery was not all there and Sev was sure he was only going to get worse as he got older.
"He wanted to tell me that my mum and my stepfather had died." Sev said and he looked to the ground. He felt Lucius stop next to him.
"I'm sorry Severus." Lucius began. Then he stood still and looked at the wall as if trying to find words that he needed to say suddenly written on there, Sev smiled. This was the first time he had ever seen Lucius Malfoy at a loss for words.
"Don't worry Lucius. I'm fine." Sev said and he started to walk down to the dungeons.
"Are you sure?" Sev sighed a bit. He turned and faced them, black eyes cool.
"Lucius, fools wear their hearts proudly on their sleeves, who cannot control their emotions, who wallow in sad memories and allow themselves to be provoked easily-weak people." Sev then paused for both effect and a breath. "I am not a weak person." Lucius stood and stared at him. Then slowly he nodded and smirked.
"Alright then Severus. I just don't want to be around when all of your bottled up emotions and sad memories came out." He said. Sev nodded. And the boys started down the stairs. Sev then sat down on the couch with his book as if nothing had happened. Anyone who so much as came near the group of boys where scared away by the sight of McNair and Avery setting chess pieces on fire with their wands. Slowly Sev drifted off to sleep. He dreamed. Sev always did hate dreaming. He dreamed off his mother. She was tall, thin, dark haired and dark eyed, as most of the Snapes are. He dreamed of her telling him that she had once been in love.
"I was so in love with your real father, Severus. He made me want to laugh, cry and tare my hair out all at the same time. It is the most wonderful, yet awful feeling ever. It's not logical or easy yet it's wonderful. I want you to guard yourself against it Severus. It will get you nowhere in life. Look at me. Now your wonderful, I don't regret you ever but look at my life. I live with a man who treats us terribly and am poor. I don't think that love is real Severus. It's all just one huge fucking lie." Here she'd paused to take anther swig of the fire whisky she was drinking. She tried to focus her large dark eyes on him. Then his stepfather had come in. There had been yet anther fight. On a good day his mother would win, that day however had not been a good day. She was to drunk to even talk anymore, let alone wave her wand correctly. He'd just sat there and watched. He had only been six at the time and there was nowhere else for him to go. Nowhere to run. Sev awoke with a start. He was in the Slytherin common room. It had to be about two in the morning and everyone had left. Sev shivered a bit and grabbed a blanket. He then cleared his mind and prepared to go back to sleep.
~ I am not a weak person. ~ He thought to himself as his eyes closed.
AN: I'm sorry it took me so long to update. I hope this chapter makes up for it. I read the fifth and realized I had so much to put in and I've been trying to plan it all out in my head before I would write. I hope this was a decent chapter. AAN: Band camp starts for me tomorrow. Now this means that I'm not going to have much time for writing in the next two weeks and then school starts. I'll update this and my other stories as much as possible. I don't want to put up a chapter just for the sake of having on up though, so please be patient. Ok, now please review. I hope you guys liked this.
Chapter 5: The first memory.
"Professor Dumbledore I swear to God that we did not do this prank." James said as they were ushered into chairs in front of the Headmaster. He raised an eyebrow.
"Sir, don't you think that if we had done that we would have laid claim to it." Peter said matter-of-factly.
"Well then who DID do the prank?" He asked, blue eyes twinkling.
"Probably Snape and Malfoy." Sirius sneered.
"That would make sense." Remus said thoughtfully. "I mean they have been laying low since for a few weeks now."
"Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin may I ask who you both will blame when Severus and Lucius are not handy?" Dumbledore asked in a slightly exasperated tone. James opened his mouth when there was a tapping on the window. "One moment." Dumbledore stated as he walked over to the window. He opened it and let the owl in. The Marauders shifted uncomfortably in their seats as they watched the old man take the piece of parchment, read it and, after sighing, pen a hasty reply. "You four leave please. We will discus this later." Dumbledore said as he sat down in his desk heavily.
"Is something wrong, Professor?" James asked.
"No." Dumbledore said hastily. "Just go back to your common room." They stood and walked out. Too bad Dumbledore didn't see the look they exchanged as they left. When he heard the door shut he slowly stood and put some powder in the fire. "Astaroth, I need to speak with you." He called.
Astaroth frowned as he swept down the stairs to the Slytherin dungeons. After saying the password he swept through and the whole room went dead quiet. He internally braced himself and took a breath. His eyes, which were a strange burnt orange color, scanned the room.
"Severus, come here. Dumbledore needs to speak with you." He said after he had found Severus and was sure his voice had its normal frosty sound. Sev looked steadily at his teacher before slowly getting up. Astaroth's eyes usually made Sev uneasy but that was not the case tonight. Tonight they held a look of something Sev had yet to see in them, it was a look he would soon know it very well.
"Professor, what's wrong?" Narcessa Black asked. Sev was surprised to see her looking concerned.
~And here I thought that her head was stuck so far up her arse that she wore the rest of her body as a hat. ~ Sev thought.
"Nothing to worry about Miss Black." Astaroth said as he started to lead Sev out. They walked up to the Headmaster's office in silence. It was unnerving but Sev wasn't about to let Astaroth know that. They reached the door and the Professor stopped. "Gum Drops" he said and they went in and up.
"Thank you, Astaroth. Severus please take a seat." Dumbledore said as he tried to smile at the boy. Sev felt his stomach tighten a bit as he sat down. He kept his face passive as he stared at the older man. Astaroth smirked a bit, knowing full well that Sev's cool gaze was unnerving at a time like this for even the Headmaster to be under. Dumbledore simply sat and took out the peace of parchment from his desk. "Severus, I have some bad news for you. Now I want you to know that we are here for you." Something flickered in Sev's dark eyes. Dumbledore took a breath. Severus Snape was not a slow boy, Dumbledore knew that the boy was putting two and two together and finding out that it did indeed equal four. "Your parents have-"
"Died?" Sev asked, his voice surprisingly calm.
"Yes." Dumbledore said slowly as he looked at Astaroth who simply shrugged. "You are going to live with your uncle for the time that you are not at Hogwarts." Sev started to tune out the older man then. Sev was going to live with his uncle. Severus Snape's uncle was not the most.conventional wizard ever. Well not by the old pureblood families standards anyway. First of all he was an Auror, now this would not be a problem if he would have just married a nice pureblood witch, his cousin Matilda for example, instead of choosing to immerse himself in his work on the rights of god- only-knows-what. Now if he had married Matilda he would have inherited a fairly large sum of money for himself and his only slightly sadistic sister, Sev's mother. However being that he choose to strip himself of the burden of the Snape family name both children inherited nothing. For all Sev knew his grandparents had buried themselves with their money, a notion that did not strike Sev as strange at all. Sev was pondering if maybe he SHOULD think that notion strange when Dumbledore called his name. He focused his dark eyes on the Headmaster once again. "Severus are you alright. I know that the death of parents to a student can be a shocking thing-"
"Sir, my mother did the best that she could for me but the man who called himself my father wasn't really. He just lived with us because my mother didn't think she could do any better for herself. Low self esteem is a horrible thing really." Sev said calmly. Dumbledore looked at Sev closely, trying to see a flicker of emotion in his dark eyes. After finding none he sat back with a sigh.
"Very well Severus. I'll let you know when your uncle owls me with information on the funeral. You may go back to your common room now." He said. Sev nodded and stood up. After nodding at both Professors he left the office. Dumbledore waited till he left to shoot a worried look at Astaroth. The tall man simple shrugged again and left the room. Dumbledore sighed and took out some paperwork.
Sev walked down the halls slowly. He wasn't sure that he wanted to go back to the common room at all. Everyone would want to know why he'd been called to Dumbledore's office and then he'd have to answer questions. Sev never liked being asked questions, it was an invasion of privacy damnit. He was walking down the stairs very slowly when he heard a noise behind him. He turned, wand out and ready for who ever his assailant may be. He saw no one. Sev knew he had heard someone and so he stood perfectly still, trying to use every sense in his body to find the person. After five minutes he turned again. Then he felt someone tap his shoulder. He turned and forgot a very important thing about turning around on stairs, whoever you turn to see will probably use your momentum against you and then you will go flying. I don't care if you're a cat person with all the grace in the world; this is a fact. This is also what happened to Sev. He tumbled down the stairs with just enough time to realize what had happened when he hit the bottom.
"Shit." He whispered to himself. He groped for his wand till someone stood on his hand.
"Good evening Snivellus." Sev frowned at the sound of Sirius' voice. He raised his head to see that all of Potter's gang was there.
"What do you need, Black?" Sev asked. Then he frowned a bit. "And whatever happened to calling me 'Sevy', not that it is much better then 'Snivellus'- "
"Do you have ADD or something?" James asked, looking slightly confused.
"What makes you ask me that?" Sev asked as he turned to the hazel-eyed boy.
"Well you just went from one subject to an entirely different one. Wait, what?" James now seemed completely confused. Sev smirked and raised an eyebrow. Remus frowned at Sev, after realizing that Sev was making a fool out of his friend.
"Shut it Snivellus. Now tell us about the prank that you and Malfoy pulled." Remus said.
"What prank?" Sev asked innocently, or as innocently as he could manage.
"You know what prank." Peter said; blue eyes gleaming as he stepped next to Remus. Sev raised an eyebrow. Who would have thought that Peter could have such a backbone when thrown into the mix with these three? Sev took in a breath as he stalled for time.
"You heard Peter Snivellus, answer us." Sirius said.
"Back off, Black." A cold voice drawled. Sev didn't need to look to know who it was. The cavalry had come, so to speak. Lucius stood flanked by some of Slytherins finest. Sirius glared at the shorter boy.
"Or what Malfoy, you gonna call your daddy to come here." Lucius rolled his gray eyes.
"Obviously I don't need that type of help. Though my father would because I'm not an embarrassment to MY family like you." Lucius said with a smile. That comment hit a nerve because Sirius was flying at Lucius quicker then you could say 'cleansweep'. James and Remus grabbed him and started to drag him off. James said something to the effect of "This isn't over!" as they rounded the corner.
"This isn't over?" Sev repeated as a question as he shook his head. "How.clichéd." Lucius snickered.
"Did you expect any better of them? They're Gryffindors for Gods sake, Severus. They're supposed to run blindly into danger and play hero, not come up with witty comebacks." The blond boy said as he helped him up.
"Why did the Headmaster need you?" Avery asked as he put his wand back into his robes. Sev fixed his gaze on him. Avery was small for a boy their age but had strength enough to make up for it. Avery stared back and Sev noticed the look that most crazy people have. The kind where they look at something or someone for hours but then all of a sudden they have to dart their eyes everywhere at once, almost as if they're making up for lost time or something. In short, Avery was not all there and Sev was sure he was only going to get worse as he got older.
"He wanted to tell me that my mum and my stepfather had died." Sev said and he looked to the ground. He felt Lucius stop next to him.
"I'm sorry Severus." Lucius began. Then he stood still and looked at the wall as if trying to find words that he needed to say suddenly written on there, Sev smiled. This was the first time he had ever seen Lucius Malfoy at a loss for words.
"Don't worry Lucius. I'm fine." Sev said and he started to walk down to the dungeons.
"Are you sure?" Sev sighed a bit. He turned and faced them, black eyes cool.
"Lucius, fools wear their hearts proudly on their sleeves, who cannot control their emotions, who wallow in sad memories and allow themselves to be provoked easily-weak people." Sev then paused for both effect and a breath. "I am not a weak person." Lucius stood and stared at him. Then slowly he nodded and smirked.
"Alright then Severus. I just don't want to be around when all of your bottled up emotions and sad memories came out." He said. Sev nodded. And the boys started down the stairs. Sev then sat down on the couch with his book as if nothing had happened. Anyone who so much as came near the group of boys where scared away by the sight of McNair and Avery setting chess pieces on fire with their wands. Slowly Sev drifted off to sleep. He dreamed. Sev always did hate dreaming. He dreamed off his mother. She was tall, thin, dark haired and dark eyed, as most of the Snapes are. He dreamed of her telling him that she had once been in love.
"I was so in love with your real father, Severus. He made me want to laugh, cry and tare my hair out all at the same time. It is the most wonderful, yet awful feeling ever. It's not logical or easy yet it's wonderful. I want you to guard yourself against it Severus. It will get you nowhere in life. Look at me. Now your wonderful, I don't regret you ever but look at my life. I live with a man who treats us terribly and am poor. I don't think that love is real Severus. It's all just one huge fucking lie." Here she'd paused to take anther swig of the fire whisky she was drinking. She tried to focus her large dark eyes on him. Then his stepfather had come in. There had been yet anther fight. On a good day his mother would win, that day however had not been a good day. She was to drunk to even talk anymore, let alone wave her wand correctly. He'd just sat there and watched. He had only been six at the time and there was nowhere else for him to go. Nowhere to run. Sev awoke with a start. He was in the Slytherin common room. It had to be about two in the morning and everyone had left. Sev shivered a bit and grabbed a blanket. He then cleared his mind and prepared to go back to sleep.
~ I am not a weak person. ~ He thought to himself as his eyes closed.
AN: I'm sorry it took me so long to update. I hope this chapter makes up for it. I read the fifth and realized I had so much to put in and I've been trying to plan it all out in my head before I would write. I hope this was a decent chapter. AAN: Band camp starts for me tomorrow. Now this means that I'm not going to have much time for writing in the next two weeks and then school starts. I'll update this and my other stories as much as possible. I don't want to put up a chapter just for the sake of having on up though, so please be patient. Ok, now please review. I hope you guys liked this.