Disclaimer: I do not own.Love Hina. That is the fact, so if you don't
like my fan fiction, I wouldn't care since no money is involved. Flames
are illusions of superiority, and will be put out like Motoko's pride in
front of Tama-chan. Also if you don't write don't flame.
Chapter 2: The Teaching of Keitaro
Master Han lets a long bead of sweat run its path down his face as he and Keitaro ran for their lives. Behind him the cause and the result of his troubles followed close behind. "There is that perverted thief, get him!" The high pitch voice of a woman spikes into the two male's ears like warning bells before a dam breach.
"I am so sorry." Keitaro shouted despite the mass of bruises inflicted on his face. Flash: The master and the student enter the town to get some food. When they're approaching a vendor, the two children of the vendor decided to have some fun and trips Keitaro when he walks up to the pretty young woman managing the stall. Arms flailing the teen grabs for support. Fortunately for him, his hand latches onto something that prevents him from crashing into the goods. "Aaagh!" Unfortunately for him, this support was the young Mrs' breast. Soon the young woman was beating him on the head with whatever she could get her hands on. Then the husband, the brothers, the sisters, the uncles, the parents, and the grand parents all came out to see what is the commotion about. Needless to say the beat the living day lights out of Keitaro as they chase him out of town. On his way out he was knocked into young girls, old women, and even one cross dressing burglar, who was pissed that his cover is blown.
The blazing cross dresser was still wearing his female attire but he is the closest to Keitaro, therefore he had the most opportunity to exact his vengeance. "You imbecilic, clumsy, dog do you know how much time I spend to get that dress right!" Every one sweat dropped. Been whipped several times by the leather purse Keitaro's speed increased dramatically. Shocks of pain ran down his spine, and drove his legs till he was abreast with Master Han.
"You have great potential Keitaro." Master Han arch his thick eyebrows at Keitaro as he picks up the pace. "It isn't easy for some one with out training to run this fast."
"It isn't so hard Master." Keitaro pumps his legs as hard as he can, as he gasps out his words. "All you need is a pair of legs and the promise of hellish pain behind you." Suddenly he realizes that he was running on empty, trips and went flying. Like a ghost Master Han was there by his side, holding him up. "Master, don't worry about me. Just go ahead, and I will catch up with you at the abandoned monastery. I need a little rest that's all."
Master Han looks at him as if he grown bunny ears. "Keitaro, you do realize the mob is a long way behind."
"What? Cool! We lost them." Keitaro's knees shook violently as he regain his footing.
"Well.Not yet." A large cloud of dust rose from the direction they came from.
"By the Great Buddha! They are still after us!" Instantly Master Han yanks the frozen teen off his feet and takes off.
"Haaa haaaa haaa. How could they be so fast master?" Slowly climb up to the branch where his master stands watch. "You said that normal people don't run this fast without training, but that mob was right on our back for hours."
"Those people were mostly descendents of Shaolin disciples." Master Han replies without emotion as he peer into the growing darkness.
Keitaro's eyes balloon out at the given revelation. "But monks can't marry! How can they have kids!" Quickly his mind went into sewer mode.
Looking at his student's expression Master Han recognize that Keitaro's unsavory thoughts. "It isn't like that you perverted fool!" With one foot he kicked Keitaro behind his thick skull.
"Ooo!" The teen loses his grip on the tree. "Ouch!" His back clashes through a massive branch. "Dang! Oro!" Thump! Keitaro smashes into the ground clutching his childhood treasure. Frantically he tries to remove the branch wedge between his legs with out causing further damage.
Master Han drops down beside the stricken teen and gently pull him up from the ground. "Are you alright?"
"I'll live." Keitaro said in a squeaky voice.
Slowly the old man moves Keitaro to a place where they could sit down. "The Shaolin Temple's doctrine of having only monk disciples wasn't always firm. There are times went the masters took in uninitiated disciples to ensure the survival of Shaolin Martial Arts."
"Does that mean I don't have to be a monk?" Keitaro's voice went up even more.
"Fat chance!" Master Han said blankly.
"Awww!"
"Just kidding. You can keep your hairs." Master Han ruffles the youth's black mop like mane. "But I would suggest you cut it short so it won't get in your way."
"Thank you master!" Slowly but surely Keitaro collapsed. Calmly Master Han check the boy's vital signs to make sure he is still alive.
"Surely the boy must be immortal, surviving such extreme blow." He shrug and went on to find his own place to pass the night.
The Next Afternoon
A majestic temple sat the end of a velvet green valley. Nested within the bosom of an enormous forest the ruins of the original Shaolin Monastery stood defiant against the mildew siege of time. "Now we begin your training in Shaolin Martial Arts. I know that you had trained in many different styles of martial arts before your arrival to the temple, yet never master even one of them for the most obvious reasons." Master Han faces a very banged up Keitaro. "You're clumsy!" An arrow pierces through Keitaro's head. "You're slipshod." A pebble the size of a golf ball bounces off Keitaro's head, which is follow by a shower of rocks. 'And most of all you have no self-confidence. Now that we pinpointed your problem do you have the confidence to tackle my master or death training regiment?!" Master Han turns and saw Keitaro under a giant piece of the mountain. "Maybe the training needs to be a little bit harder for you. After all you'll need it."
"Yeesss master." Keitaro replies from under the vast rubble pile.
A wile smile grace Master Han's face as he watch Keitaro completes his warm up and stretching on the mossy courtyard. "I see you have paid great attention to the preparation done by the other disciples." Keitaro blush as he went down to stretch out his inner thigh tendons. "That is good. Most of my students have now reached master level, so you will have a lot to catch up on. We wouldn't want my dying efforts to be wasted won't we." On hearing that the teen's legs gave out from under him as he stared at his master with shock. Tear began to well up from his tired brown eyes. Master Han arch up one eyebrow. "Take it easy! I won't be in Nirvana before I finish teaching you. Besides everyone have to die some day, and I have live a life I could be happy for."
Keitaro recovers and return his master's grin. "Then I'll be a slow learner, just so you can expect a long life." A chunk of rock knocks him over.
"Don't think you can slack off nitwit! Now we will practice falling."
Confused Keitaro blink away the stars and asked. "Falling, Master?"
Grinning Master Han motion Keitaro to follow him. "Yes. And it requires little effort to start.
"MASTER!" Keitaro's eyes popped out of his head as he stares down the sheer cliff beneath his feet. "I am not ready to die!" Instantly he latch onto the nearest thing, his master.
Master Han plies the wide eye boy from his robs. "Are you insane kid? You think I would throw you down there? Over the cliff?"
"You won't?" Keitaro ask skeptically.
"Of course. Your training course is over there." The Monk points to an obstacle course beside the cliff.
"Oh Master I thought." Keitaro weep in relief.
Master Han was already walking toward the course. "That cliff is for later." Instantly Keitaro froze.
Later on Master Han sat on a generously offered branch overlooking the course as he watch Keitaro gets stumble and trip, clash and get bash while making way through the course for uncountable number of times. "This kid may not be your genius student but he sure doesn't give up. Most of my old students would be down for days if they go on like this. That's enough Keitaro!" At the command Keitaro flops down lifeless on top of the wooden ladder then slides off like a piece of cloth.
"Urgh." Gasp the exhausted teen.
The rice was cooking slowly on a black stove as Master Han faces Keitaro. "That was the worst run on the course I saw in ages! You should know your own limits boy! Been a martial artist, you would probably be killed a thousand times in one day, just from self inflicted injuries. Fortunately you can only die once, so you don't have to suffer long." Han sip some water to wash out the bad taste in his mouth.
"Sorry Master." Keitaro said sheepishly.
"Don't be sorry." The monk flat out replied.
"What?"
The old master looks into his newest pupil's eyes. "There is no sorry after you hurt yourself, or someone else. The responsibility will be solely yours." He looks to see if the rice was cooked. "We will spend ten days on basic forms of Shaolin Kung Fu. Starting tomorrow, you will be ready by sunrise and practice till the moon is in the apex of its arc. There will be no breaks except an hour for water and food. Remember, I will be watching to see if you are doing your best. Don't disappoint me." Keitaro sweat-dropped and nodded. "Good! Now lets eat."
"Let me get it Master." Keitaro reach out to grab the pot of rice. There was a loud fizzle sound. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Hot! Hot! Hot!" Master Han rescues the rice, as Keitaro ran for water to save his flaming hands.
"Note to self; Keitaro has coordination of a drunk elephant." The old man watch as Keitaro sticks his hand into a muddy pool of water. "Keitaro!"
"Yes Master?" Steam rose from the pool.
"Wash your hands before you eat."
"Yes Master."
Ten days later.
"I miss judged you, Keitaro." Master circles around Keitaro as he gave the youth a good look over. Keitaro hang his head, waiting for the words. "You did well."
"Huh?" That's all Keitaro was able to say before his Master knocks him on the back of his head.
"Don't say Huh? Every time you hears something you don't understand." Clutching his head Keitaro rose as his master continues to circle around him. "You learn fast, but your clumsiness seem to grow even more." Keitaro fell back down. "Not only did you have all the blunders of the past but now your accidents are dangerous even to me!" The Grand Master of Shaolin Temple strokes his chin wistfully. "An intriguing development."
With a sigh Keitaro lay on the ground as he prepares for his discharge. "I guess it just isn't meant to be." A shadow blocks him from the sun. "The promise still haunts me."
"I am not giving up on you yet, idiot." Master Han hauls Keitaro onto his feet. "You are one of the best student I have meet in life. Of course, only when I am not considering your accident prone nature." A dull thud marks the time Keitaro's face fault.
Keitaro picks himself up from his newest submission to gravity.
"However, despite the pleasure of teaching you the martial traditions, I must leave you to your own devices for a while." The Master declares and began to leave.
"Wait master! I still need your help!" Keitaro shouted.
Already at the gate Master Han shouts back. "Keitaro, just practice what I taught you the past ten days, you got enough to last you a month."
Looking around with uncertainty Keitaro relents. "Okay."
Master Han closes the gate and locks it from the other side. After the door is secure he slides down to the ground. "That should give me time to recover." He glances up the massive steel door of the ancient monastery. "He has a knack for the art, but with the worst karma I have ever experienced. Often get into and cause disasters, but still go on, this kid could be great." His eyes slowly closed from the fatigue of days training Keitaro. "Can be great."
Keitaro felt tired, each move was sluggish, and every decision was error in a way he couldn't anticipate. Gritting against the painful burn on his back, Keitaro struggle to concentrate as he stumbles across the courtyard. A stone step blocks his next step and he went down like a poled horse. "Must keep going." Callus palms grind against the weathered stone steps while Keitaro squeeze out the last of his strength getting to a semi- standing position. His body hung there for a moment before his legs cave in and splits his legs. "Oro! That hurts." He feels each of his muscle change to limp noodles, and a hard knock told him he has hit rock bottom. So there lay the newest disciple, Keitaro, suffering the worst blow to his manhood ever. "I suck!" Laugh Keitaro as rivers of tears and sweat stream down his face. "Even with Master Han I'll never be a decent Martial Artist, so might as well give up now." He canes his head up to look around the abandoned monastery. Before him, at the top of the steps was the chapel. "Well, this must be fate. It's never too late to pray." Finding himself unable to get up, he crawls his way up the moss-grown steps and into the ancient chamber.
Chapter 2: The Teaching of Keitaro
Master Han lets a long bead of sweat run its path down his face as he and Keitaro ran for their lives. Behind him the cause and the result of his troubles followed close behind. "There is that perverted thief, get him!" The high pitch voice of a woman spikes into the two male's ears like warning bells before a dam breach.
"I am so sorry." Keitaro shouted despite the mass of bruises inflicted on his face. Flash: The master and the student enter the town to get some food. When they're approaching a vendor, the two children of the vendor decided to have some fun and trips Keitaro when he walks up to the pretty young woman managing the stall. Arms flailing the teen grabs for support. Fortunately for him, his hand latches onto something that prevents him from crashing into the goods. "Aaagh!" Unfortunately for him, this support was the young Mrs' breast. Soon the young woman was beating him on the head with whatever she could get her hands on. Then the husband, the brothers, the sisters, the uncles, the parents, and the grand parents all came out to see what is the commotion about. Needless to say the beat the living day lights out of Keitaro as they chase him out of town. On his way out he was knocked into young girls, old women, and even one cross dressing burglar, who was pissed that his cover is blown.
The blazing cross dresser was still wearing his female attire but he is the closest to Keitaro, therefore he had the most opportunity to exact his vengeance. "You imbecilic, clumsy, dog do you know how much time I spend to get that dress right!" Every one sweat dropped. Been whipped several times by the leather purse Keitaro's speed increased dramatically. Shocks of pain ran down his spine, and drove his legs till he was abreast with Master Han.
"You have great potential Keitaro." Master Han arch his thick eyebrows at Keitaro as he picks up the pace. "It isn't easy for some one with out training to run this fast."
"It isn't so hard Master." Keitaro pumps his legs as hard as he can, as he gasps out his words. "All you need is a pair of legs and the promise of hellish pain behind you." Suddenly he realizes that he was running on empty, trips and went flying. Like a ghost Master Han was there by his side, holding him up. "Master, don't worry about me. Just go ahead, and I will catch up with you at the abandoned monastery. I need a little rest that's all."
Master Han looks at him as if he grown bunny ears. "Keitaro, you do realize the mob is a long way behind."
"What? Cool! We lost them." Keitaro's knees shook violently as he regain his footing.
"Well.Not yet." A large cloud of dust rose from the direction they came from.
"By the Great Buddha! They are still after us!" Instantly Master Han yanks the frozen teen off his feet and takes off.
"Haaa haaaa haaa. How could they be so fast master?" Slowly climb up to the branch where his master stands watch. "You said that normal people don't run this fast without training, but that mob was right on our back for hours."
"Those people were mostly descendents of Shaolin disciples." Master Han replies without emotion as he peer into the growing darkness.
Keitaro's eyes balloon out at the given revelation. "But monks can't marry! How can they have kids!" Quickly his mind went into sewer mode.
Looking at his student's expression Master Han recognize that Keitaro's unsavory thoughts. "It isn't like that you perverted fool!" With one foot he kicked Keitaro behind his thick skull.
"Ooo!" The teen loses his grip on the tree. "Ouch!" His back clashes through a massive branch. "Dang! Oro!" Thump! Keitaro smashes into the ground clutching his childhood treasure. Frantically he tries to remove the branch wedge between his legs with out causing further damage.
Master Han drops down beside the stricken teen and gently pull him up from the ground. "Are you alright?"
"I'll live." Keitaro said in a squeaky voice.
Slowly the old man moves Keitaro to a place where they could sit down. "The Shaolin Temple's doctrine of having only monk disciples wasn't always firm. There are times went the masters took in uninitiated disciples to ensure the survival of Shaolin Martial Arts."
"Does that mean I don't have to be a monk?" Keitaro's voice went up even more.
"Fat chance!" Master Han said blankly.
"Awww!"
"Just kidding. You can keep your hairs." Master Han ruffles the youth's black mop like mane. "But I would suggest you cut it short so it won't get in your way."
"Thank you master!" Slowly but surely Keitaro collapsed. Calmly Master Han check the boy's vital signs to make sure he is still alive.
"Surely the boy must be immortal, surviving such extreme blow." He shrug and went on to find his own place to pass the night.
The Next Afternoon
A majestic temple sat the end of a velvet green valley. Nested within the bosom of an enormous forest the ruins of the original Shaolin Monastery stood defiant against the mildew siege of time. "Now we begin your training in Shaolin Martial Arts. I know that you had trained in many different styles of martial arts before your arrival to the temple, yet never master even one of them for the most obvious reasons." Master Han faces a very banged up Keitaro. "You're clumsy!" An arrow pierces through Keitaro's head. "You're slipshod." A pebble the size of a golf ball bounces off Keitaro's head, which is follow by a shower of rocks. 'And most of all you have no self-confidence. Now that we pinpointed your problem do you have the confidence to tackle my master or death training regiment?!" Master Han turns and saw Keitaro under a giant piece of the mountain. "Maybe the training needs to be a little bit harder for you. After all you'll need it."
"Yeesss master." Keitaro replies from under the vast rubble pile.
A wile smile grace Master Han's face as he watch Keitaro completes his warm up and stretching on the mossy courtyard. "I see you have paid great attention to the preparation done by the other disciples." Keitaro blush as he went down to stretch out his inner thigh tendons. "That is good. Most of my students have now reached master level, so you will have a lot to catch up on. We wouldn't want my dying efforts to be wasted won't we." On hearing that the teen's legs gave out from under him as he stared at his master with shock. Tear began to well up from his tired brown eyes. Master Han arch up one eyebrow. "Take it easy! I won't be in Nirvana before I finish teaching you. Besides everyone have to die some day, and I have live a life I could be happy for."
Keitaro recovers and return his master's grin. "Then I'll be a slow learner, just so you can expect a long life." A chunk of rock knocks him over.
"Don't think you can slack off nitwit! Now we will practice falling."
Confused Keitaro blink away the stars and asked. "Falling, Master?"
Grinning Master Han motion Keitaro to follow him. "Yes. And it requires little effort to start.
"MASTER!" Keitaro's eyes popped out of his head as he stares down the sheer cliff beneath his feet. "I am not ready to die!" Instantly he latch onto the nearest thing, his master.
Master Han plies the wide eye boy from his robs. "Are you insane kid? You think I would throw you down there? Over the cliff?"
"You won't?" Keitaro ask skeptically.
"Of course. Your training course is over there." The Monk points to an obstacle course beside the cliff.
"Oh Master I thought." Keitaro weep in relief.
Master Han was already walking toward the course. "That cliff is for later." Instantly Keitaro froze.
Later on Master Han sat on a generously offered branch overlooking the course as he watch Keitaro gets stumble and trip, clash and get bash while making way through the course for uncountable number of times. "This kid may not be your genius student but he sure doesn't give up. Most of my old students would be down for days if they go on like this. That's enough Keitaro!" At the command Keitaro flops down lifeless on top of the wooden ladder then slides off like a piece of cloth.
"Urgh." Gasp the exhausted teen.
The rice was cooking slowly on a black stove as Master Han faces Keitaro. "That was the worst run on the course I saw in ages! You should know your own limits boy! Been a martial artist, you would probably be killed a thousand times in one day, just from self inflicted injuries. Fortunately you can only die once, so you don't have to suffer long." Han sip some water to wash out the bad taste in his mouth.
"Sorry Master." Keitaro said sheepishly.
"Don't be sorry." The monk flat out replied.
"What?"
The old master looks into his newest pupil's eyes. "There is no sorry after you hurt yourself, or someone else. The responsibility will be solely yours." He looks to see if the rice was cooked. "We will spend ten days on basic forms of Shaolin Kung Fu. Starting tomorrow, you will be ready by sunrise and practice till the moon is in the apex of its arc. There will be no breaks except an hour for water and food. Remember, I will be watching to see if you are doing your best. Don't disappoint me." Keitaro sweat-dropped and nodded. "Good! Now lets eat."
"Let me get it Master." Keitaro reach out to grab the pot of rice. There was a loud fizzle sound. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Hot! Hot! Hot!" Master Han rescues the rice, as Keitaro ran for water to save his flaming hands.
"Note to self; Keitaro has coordination of a drunk elephant." The old man watch as Keitaro sticks his hand into a muddy pool of water. "Keitaro!"
"Yes Master?" Steam rose from the pool.
"Wash your hands before you eat."
"Yes Master."
Ten days later.
"I miss judged you, Keitaro." Master circles around Keitaro as he gave the youth a good look over. Keitaro hang his head, waiting for the words. "You did well."
"Huh?" That's all Keitaro was able to say before his Master knocks him on the back of his head.
"Don't say Huh? Every time you hears something you don't understand." Clutching his head Keitaro rose as his master continues to circle around him. "You learn fast, but your clumsiness seem to grow even more." Keitaro fell back down. "Not only did you have all the blunders of the past but now your accidents are dangerous even to me!" The Grand Master of Shaolin Temple strokes his chin wistfully. "An intriguing development."
With a sigh Keitaro lay on the ground as he prepares for his discharge. "I guess it just isn't meant to be." A shadow blocks him from the sun. "The promise still haunts me."
"I am not giving up on you yet, idiot." Master Han hauls Keitaro onto his feet. "You are one of the best student I have meet in life. Of course, only when I am not considering your accident prone nature." A dull thud marks the time Keitaro's face fault.
Keitaro picks himself up from his newest submission to gravity.
"However, despite the pleasure of teaching you the martial traditions, I must leave you to your own devices for a while." The Master declares and began to leave.
"Wait master! I still need your help!" Keitaro shouted.
Already at the gate Master Han shouts back. "Keitaro, just practice what I taught you the past ten days, you got enough to last you a month."
Looking around with uncertainty Keitaro relents. "Okay."
Master Han closes the gate and locks it from the other side. After the door is secure he slides down to the ground. "That should give me time to recover." He glances up the massive steel door of the ancient monastery. "He has a knack for the art, but with the worst karma I have ever experienced. Often get into and cause disasters, but still go on, this kid could be great." His eyes slowly closed from the fatigue of days training Keitaro. "Can be great."
Keitaro felt tired, each move was sluggish, and every decision was error in a way he couldn't anticipate. Gritting against the painful burn on his back, Keitaro struggle to concentrate as he stumbles across the courtyard. A stone step blocks his next step and he went down like a poled horse. "Must keep going." Callus palms grind against the weathered stone steps while Keitaro squeeze out the last of his strength getting to a semi- standing position. His body hung there for a moment before his legs cave in and splits his legs. "Oro! That hurts." He feels each of his muscle change to limp noodles, and a hard knock told him he has hit rock bottom. So there lay the newest disciple, Keitaro, suffering the worst blow to his manhood ever. "I suck!" Laugh Keitaro as rivers of tears and sweat stream down his face. "Even with Master Han I'll never be a decent Martial Artist, so might as well give up now." He canes his head up to look around the abandoned monastery. Before him, at the top of the steps was the chapel. "Well, this must be fate. It's never too late to pray." Finding himself unable to get up, he crawls his way up the moss-grown steps and into the ancient chamber.