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"Why should I care?

by Chiisana Anisa

The sky flew over her head, two colours, mid grey and blue mixing together preparing for the storm she knew had to come. Somehow the storm always seemed to start around her. She didn't really care, it suited her mood. She felt a bit blue, she felt disappointed, frustrated, angry and utterly nerved.

The only thought passing trough her mind over and over again was . . . 'How dare he...?!'; like a song she has just recently heard and now it's stuck in her mind on the button saying "broken record". Hell yes, she was blue... For leaving. It was bound to happen, but it never hit her until now when she really was going away.

She felt disappointed that it didn't matter. To her... to him... maybe even to the other people she knew. Her heart kept telling her that wasn't the truth. She didn't listen. She had listened to her heart too many times on all the wrong occasions.

Frustrated. For herself. For letting herself being so blind for such long period of time. For not seeing what was right in front of her. For keeping her eyes shut, for keeping those childish thoughts of happiness in the secret pocket of her mind that somehow always kept popping up.

Angry. Mostly at him. At the world in general. Just plain angry. Without any further explanations.

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Was there something more I could have done?

Or was I not meant to be the one?

Where's the life I thought we would share?

And should I care?

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But just like she said - she didn't care. Somewhere down the line of this dusty road she left all her care, neatly packed under some big rock never to be found again. She did remember where that rock was... only there was no need to go to that rock and pick up something that once was important to her. Not anymore.

Once more she looked up to the sky, which was now dark grey, clouds storming in groups, probably following her. She smiled at her thoughts, then turned her head to the sight behind her.

'Damn him!'

He still stood there. Talking something to the woman beside him. She could see the dark head nodding, agreeing with him, and then rising her voice to protest at the next thing he said. The man sometimes really nerved. She had a gut feeling not only her.

Oh, how they looked together! She could laugh, but she was supposed to hide... She will laugh later. Later she would have all the time in the world to laugh, to scream, to sing... or to cry. For a moment, sadness washed over her in waves and her vision blurred, with it the pair disappearing.

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And will someone else get more of you?

Will she go to sleep more sure of you?

Will she wake up knowing you're still there?

And why should I care?

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Quickly blinking them away she noticed that the pair was now off, walking down the road and holding hands. The woman suddenly hugged his arm close to her side, while he looked at her with a smile tugging at his lips. She smiled too and they kept walking.

'Damn him a thousand times!'

The picture in her head faltered. That woman now had what she hoped for. For that she was angry. Angry she didn't get anything in the end. She was left alone. It didn't hurt as much as she thought it would at first. Guess the saying that time ease hurt was true. But being angry... time can't really heal that.

Her fire didn't burn as it once did. Her smile wasn't nice and warm as it once did, nor her face. She walked around spying them more like a drawn out puppet than like a human. She didn't feel alive. How could she if she wasn't by his side?

She must have missed her turn for happiness. That was it, for sure. Oh, Kami-sama, just how many times has she done this? Why did she kept following them, looking at the life she once wished she had, looking and envying then for their happiness.. For her - the road was still dirty, full of dust and defeat.

But she was wiser now. She got that with the years. She knew every well that nothing in life was fair. One would gain something, then lose something else. Choices must be taken, many roads must be walked out and sometimes a person needs to learn to deal with what gets in the way.

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There's always one to turn and walk away

And one who just wants to stay

But who said that love is always fair?

And why should I care?

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Love. There was a time when she hold it for the most magnificent thing in the whole world. Family. She longed to have it - with him of course. To have a nice house, two or three kids and him by her to love her, to hold her, to pamper her... To be her one and all. Well, look how wrong she was.

'Damn him!'

Then... thinking again... she had a whole lot of time to try and forget. Once made promises needed to be forgotten, the darkness surrounding her heart should be let out. She should start living for herself and herself only.

No more broken heart, no more depressing thoughts, no more of anything. Time was all she needed, and time she had. She is going to walk away, never turn around again to go and see him happy with her, she was finally tough enough to forgive and forget.

Why should she bother herself further with the likes of him? To care and to love him, only to torture herself constantly? Why should she do those ridiculous things...

Why should she care?

'Damn you both!'

Really.... why should she care?

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Should I leave you alone in the dark?

Holding my broken heart

While a promise still hangs in the air

Why should I care?

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Few miles away and behind her, the earlier mentioned pair kept walking not even noticing that they were observed. They were so much blinded by each other and their happiness, that they didn't see anything else around them. Love clouds flew over their heads, light and white like pure souls they were guarding.

The pair kept on walking, spending the minutes in talking between them, their secrets, desires and little ordinary things. They were well...

The man leaned down to her, taking the breath from her sweet lips and she gladly offered it to him. Pulling away he smiled, grin dancing in his face... No sooner his face disappeared for the view while one yell echoed through the woods...

"SIT!"

THE END

AN: Ahem... Need any help? Yes? No?

Oh well... without much babbling this story is from Kikyou's point of view. I probably didn't get her at all. But the song was what really got me to think about her. When I first heard the song Kikyou appeared in my mind and since then I couldn't get her out. So I sat down and wrote this. I just had to.

If it's lousy - sorry. If it's any good, leave one worded review to let me know. One word is enough, trust me. And sorry for any bad grammar.

Well, thanks for reading and reviewing (if you do that). ~_~

P.S. The song belongs to Diana Krall and it's called "Why should I care?". Inuyasha belongs to

Rumiko Takahashi.

Once again, thanks for reading. If you feel like it read something else from me!

Ja ne!

Chiisana Anisa