To summary and stuff, see part one.
Author's note: Thank you all the reviews! They make me really glad! Now, broni, something will happen between Martin and Sam, but you have to wait ;]
Martin and Sam forum @ destinedto.proboards26.com
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Part Five
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I hurried to the conference table, where everyone was already gathered. Everyone, except me. I really hated being late. "I'm sorry." I said. "I'm late." and stated the obvious. I really hated being late. Everyone in the room looks at you when you enter it in a way that makes you wish you hadn't come or at least you had arrived early.
Last night, searching for my cell phone I think a dropped the alarm clock on floor and it didn't ring as it should making me arrive late. I gave Jack an apologetic smile and sat down next to Danny, who gave me an once over I don't know what the hell for. After I sent him a dirty look he silently chuckled and turned back to Jack and I did the same.
I paid attention to Jack for five minutes before my eyes slowly searched Martin and found him listening attently to what Jack was saying. Jesus, I couldn't stay watching him like that. I needed to pay attention to Jack and only Jack. Come one Sam, focus, I told myself but I think my brain needed a check up because instead of focusing on Jack it focused on Martin.
The next thing I heard Jack was teaming me with Danny. I seriously needed to work on my concentration skills, I needed to do my job right but I knew I had to sort things out before I could do it because the more I tried not to think of Martin, the more images of him entered my mind, the more focused on him I got.
I think he felt my eyes on him because soon he looked at me. His eyes glistened for a second and a discreet smile played on his lips. I smiled at him; it wasn't small, or discreet, or anything, it was a condign caused by Martin smile. I pressed my lips together to keep them from widening more and looked down before I couldn't keep it to myself and make it too obvious. I shook my head slightly and bit my lips, thinking how idiot I was.
I'm not a damn teenager anymore, for God's sake!
Keeping saying that Sam and will might believe that yourself. Or make it come true.
* * *
"One more year of grumpiness and blissful annoyance." He groaned a very fake groan... "And I'm still alive."
I narrowed my eyes and looked perplexed at Danny. He grinned from ear to ear and suddenly threw something at me. I caught it completely out of reflex and made a face at him. Danny should be more careful, really, he could hurt someone. Or if this something he threw at me was heavy and fragile? What if I wasn't that good and let it fall to the floor? Seriously, Danny really needed to be more careful.
"So subtle." I sneered. "You could hurt someone." I lifted the... thing... he threw at me so he could see it and had a look myself. "What is this?" I asked turning the package around in my hands. It had been obviously wrapped by Danny himself. Sometimes I catch myself wondering how old Danny is...
"Your present, Samantha. What do you think?" He raised an eyebrow and waved a hand to emphatise his words.
I smiled and slowly opened it. "You know, you didn't need to do it."
"Sure I did." He said with such a certainty that scared me. I mean, really scared. "But you have no right to complain. I asked what you wanted an you just played flirting with me."
I rolled my eyes and took the ... thing ... out of the paper and looked at it. "Oh my God." I busted up laughing and tried to focus on Danny through my teary eyes. "Oh, Danny. You REALLY didn't need." I said wiping my tears away. I threw the now ripped paper and lifted my gift in front of me. It was a big and fluffy dark red sweatshirt with bold letters in black on the front written: DON'T MESS WITH ME. Turning it I saw that on the back there was something written too with the same style. SAMANTHA SPADE - FEDERAL AGENT. Oh my god, again... Danny was really a child. He could have put my ID number too...
"Hey, you're always, and I do repeat, always complaining about the cold."
I stuck my tongue out at him. Yeah, childlike, I know... but it felt damn good. And now I really had to think of a situation that I could use this sweatshirt. "Thanks anyway." I gave him a smile and soon I found myself in his arms.
"Happy birthday, Sam."
He held me for a good two seconds or three then let me go. I pulled away and looked down at the gift in my hands trying to hold a few rebel tears from coming out of my eyes. "Thank you, Danny."
'There are a lot of people who love you...' Martin's voice echoed in my mind, repeating the same words he had said to me last night. I wanted to believe in that, I needed. Living a life so lonely and empty, things such as love were a little hard to believe in. But from a while back to now I started thinking about it more often than I used. Especially when Martin's name crossed my mind.
"Are you going to kiss me now?"
I grinned and winked flirtatiously at him. Tilting my head to the side and leaned in I whispered sensually in his ear. "No."
"Damn." He grinned too.
"Get out of here, Danny." I ordered and pushed him away. He waved a hand as he laughed and walked away.
* * *
I heard footsteps behind me and as soon as the person stopped knew who it was. I got that feeling whenever the person was around and the smell brought by the air lingered for three or four seconds around my nose. The recognition in my brain was linked with my mouth because I found myself smiling.
I felt him resting his back on my desk right beside me, his eyes watching me as I finished writing something down on my notepad. This was creepy, why was he staring at me like that? Say something! I yelled in my head. I was sure it wasn't the first time he watched me, he could do that as long as I didn't know. Like I said, creepy.
Well, at least it gave me time to decrease the big smile on my lips he brought with him.
I kept on doing my things, just waiting him to say something. I mean, he was the one who came; he should be the one to talk first. Right? I felt a shiver on my back but I wasn't sure if it was due to his presence or his eyes intensely on me. Isn't he going to speak? Really, he seemed a stalker or something. Creepy, creepy, creepy.
Not taking his stare any longer, I turned my head, tilting it slightly to look at him and I was surprised to see a smile of his own. Good Lord, please help me. I prayed silently... his smile makes melt and makes my legs turn into jelly... Ok, yeah, I said that before, but I bet you didn't know about the jelly thing, not to mention, but already doing that, the butterflies in me.
I cleared my throat to make sure my voice would come out steady. "May I help you?" I asked bringing my eyes back to... hum... let's see... I quickly searched for something with my eyes and found a random briefcase. There, something to do and look at instead of Martin.
"Actually, I'm here to help you."
I snapped my head up and looked at him, that boyish smile back on his lips. Damn him and my jelly legs. "Excuse me?" I narrowed my eyebrows at him and turned fully so now we were face to face.
"Just because I called you doesn't mean I can't congratulate in person."
"Really? I thought waking up in the middle of the night was your congratulations and your present as well." I smile at him, letting him know I was only joking and he gave me another smile in return.
"Bet you never received a happy birthday so right on time." He tilted his head and pointed a finger at me, his voice sounding in a way that made him seem he was really proud of himself. My God, and I thought Danny was the only child here.
I chuckled at the comparison and put my random briefcase down. For the first time since he got here I notice how blue his eyes were that moment. They were sparking for some reason I didn't know and the glow of it made his face glow too, specially with his smile firmly on. "Men and their big egos." I mumbled loud enough so Martin could hear. "Charming."
He looked at me just after hearing it with mock-perplexed expression. He opened his mouth and was about to say something when he closed it again. I think he changed his mind about what he was going to say... He squinted and stepped closer, a big fake question mark over his face. "Are you a feminist?"
What startled me more was the soft and firm sound of his voice instead of the ridiculous question, sounding like it was something he asked every day. I looked stunned at him for a while and when I had finally cured myself from my dumb state I put my hands on my hips and lifted my chin slightly. "Yeah, of course." I opened one drawer and took my gun out of there. "Why do you think I use a gun?"
To my complete surprise he started chuckling, but it was so obvious he was trying to restrain a real laugh that it reached the comical. Eventually his chuckle faded - thank god - and his eyes shone again. "I thought you liked the guns."
"Because it makes men nervous."
He stared at me, something in his eyes that I couldn't read, then his mouth opened as both a smile and words formed. "You crack me up inside, Sam."
I, like always, smiled because I couldn't help it. Strange or not, this move was becoming too common and good. "It's mutual."
He took out of the same drawer my cuffs and let it hung by one ring on his finger. He lifted this same finger until it was at eye level with me and smirked, what made me scared about what he would say next. "Do you use these too? You're really a possessive woman." He whispered, his tone flirtatious and very, very dirty.
"Argh." I took my cuffs from his hand and shoved it and my gun inside the drawer. "This was really dirty, Martin." I looked back at him and his smile widened. Was my face looking funny? "And discustin.... fun...." I narrowed my eyebrows to myself. Thinking better, yeah, it could be fun, I mean, I'd have a man locked to my bed and I could do as I wished.
Hum....
... Interesting picture....
Wow!
... Wait a second! Oh my god.... I shook my head surprised at myself. Not that I've never had thoughts like these, because I had, but not in front of someone. Not Martin, when the person in question was right in front of me, watching me. I think I blushed. I felt my cheeks burning... yup... I flushed.
Hopefully Martin didn't notice.
I looked up at him and saw his big, dirty smirk. Damn, he noticed... "Stop staring." I said as if I had said something really common.
He didn't hear me or pretended he didn't. Either one it made me annoyed. "Are we going out for drinks tonight?"
"Sure. Why not? It's my birthday after all."
"That's right. It's your birthday and today I'll even let you get drunk." He smiled and winked as the words were said.
His smile was... tempting because it made me want to kiss him. Made me want to grab him and lock my lips with his. But I fought the urge, of course. I couldn't just take him like that, no matter what you're thinking. And our flirtation was becoming too obvious and constant. If Danny was here I'm sure he would be over us by now.
Thank god he wasn't because it would give him reason to mock me for the rest of my life.
* * *
I looked around memorizing the place I knew by heart. We had come here more times than I could remember and it was funny because I can remember every time we came here, every conversation we had, word by word. I can remember every expression on Martin's face and exactly how many times he smiled and it was funny too, because the only thing I can't remember is that I paid this much attention to him.
I watched him as he asked the drinks and Melinda - the young waitress - smiled flirtatiously at him. Seriously, I think this girl had a crush on him. A serious crush on him. Nothing against her, but the way she looked at him made me want to punch her. I had a gun, for god's sake! Why couldn't I just, discreetly of course, take my gun out of my pocket and put it over the table? It worked with men, it would very well work with a 17 year old girl.
I don't know what's wrong with me... Why am I feeling jealousy? I shouldn't feel jealousy, I shouldn't, I shouldn't, I shouldn't. I just... shouldn't... because it was one more sign of my ever-growing feelings for Martin and they had to stop growing, they had to stop making me feel like that.
I casted a quick glance at... hissssss Melinda... and made a face at her, one that, obviously, only I could see. "Whore..." I muttered. Nothing against the girl, but jealousy could make you so evil towards somebody and make it seem like you don't like them even if you don't even know them.
"I'm sorry?"
I looked up at him, my eyes widening in horror praying he hadn't heard what I just said. "What?" That's right; play innocent, dumb. You didn't hear him, it will make him repeat and luckily tell what he wanted.
"No, you said something. What was it?"
He didn't hear. Now I believe in God. "Nothing. I was just... thinking out loud."
He smiled and let go of the issue. We stayed in silence until cough:Melinda:cough brought the drinks and went away, not of course, without winking at Martin. How I hate her... "I have something for you."
"For me? Why?"
"It's your birthday... dumbass. Of course I have to give you something." He rolled his eyes and I was still perplexed by his words. Me, dumbass? Martin really needed to work his vocabulary. No one call me dumbass. No one.
But before I could give him a well deserved answer, his attention was in another place. He was searching for something in his coat's pockets and soon took out of there a big chocolate muffin. "What's that?"
He smirked and showed me a small pink candle. If he does what I'm thinking he's going to do, I'll kill him. He stuck the candle in the middle of the muffin and lit it. "I didn't know what to give you so a real party was much better, huh?"
"A real party?"
"Yeah, of course." He brought the muffin, and consequently his hand, which like his entire body, smelled like heaven, closer to my face. That boyish smile again on his lips. He started singing. Oh my god... I'll kill him if I have to. I was seriously thinking about running from here but seeing his smile and the happiness in his eyes just by giving me a 'real party' made my heart melt and I couldn't say no anymore. And his voice, it was so soft and the melody of it was so soothing. He was whispering the words, singing it like an angel, and only for me.
The beat of my heart suddenly turned into rapid ones. My pulse was rushing. Everything inside of me was going fast and how all these mixed up feelings rushed throughout my body and I couldn't tell which one apart. Then somehow, all these thoughts entered my mind and flooded it so badly, that they cluttered together and I couldn't think straight. Confusion escaped from me and ended up all over my face.
He looked up at me, twinkles in his eyes. A smile formed across his face, he showed delight in his features but when his eyes found mine, his face changed from delight to worry. Oh, fuck, it was all too clear. "Sam, what's wrong?"
I wanted to answer him, but words failed me. I felt burning in the back of my eyes and I knew I was about to cry. I couldn't cry, I couldn't cry in front of him. I didn't even know why I was about to cry. My breath was slowly coming out in small puffs of air and I felt as if I needed more than I was able to breath at the moment.
"Sam?" Warm touch consequently burning of skin and wild butterflies. I didn't need this right now. Plus his voice, so soft and concerned. I should be happy by all the attention I get from him, but this very moment all I wanted was to get away from him and stop the tears threatening to fall down my cheeks.
I pulled my arm away from his touch and got up. "I..." My voice broke as tears started falling. Damn Martin. "I'll be right back..." I think my voice was as teary as my eyes were. I felt the force of them in me. Before I could turn away from him a couple of damned tears ran from my eyes and I am sure Martin saw them.
I hurried to the rest room, getting away from him as quickly as I could, praying he wouldn't follow me. I don't know what came into me; this sudden wave of tears just overwhelmed me. Before I could even reach half the way to the rest room my face was wetted all over and my eyes were burning. To my luck no one was in there so I wouldn't have to hide in one of the bathrooms.
Within the safety of these four walls I finally let myself break. I finally let the tears I was holding back fall down my cheeks. God, it was so hard. Martin, he was so intense sometimes, he brought these mixed and confusing feelings in me to the front, he made them so much stronger than when he wasn't around. It was hard to see he cared so much about me, to see that someone I had pushed away before and despised could be so loving.
I had no one. No mother, father, brother or sisters, no one in my life to share happy moments, to show my weak and strong sides, to help me through hard times. The only thing I had was Martin, one I seriously couldn't care less before, one I didn't give a damn if was sad or happy, but now I just couldn't control myself. Seeing him so pleased to make me happy made me touched and angry with myself for acting the way I did towards him.
I put both my hands on the sink trying to take some of the weight from my feet. I pounded my palm on my forehead repeatedly and leaned in against the mirror over the sink. Oh, why had I feel like that? Why had I to break now? I'm so stupid, immature, ridiculous, idiotic... Martin was just trying to make me feel better giving me a small personal party. It was just too much...
"Did I do something wrong?"
Startled by his voice, I jumped and turned to face him with a start. If he did something wrong? My God, he was the sweetest person I've ever met and he thought I was crying because of him. "No." I shook my head, my eyes instead of looking at him, down at my hands, which started to twist nervously. "Have you..." I trailed of and looked at him, needing to see his eyes and see the truth in there. "Have you ever been angry with me?"
He narrowed his eyes in confusion and stepped closer to me. "No." He shook his head and stepped even closer. "Of course not."
"I mean, after everything, how I treated you..." I was so pissed at myself; you have no idea. I always thought less of him and now here he is, giving me a birthday party.
"We barely knew each other. We always do things we regret later, but we did them we there is nothing we can do about it." He spoke with such sweetness I caught myself staring at him, but he was looking at me too, right in the eye. He touched my arm and pulled my softly to him, away from the sink.
"Yeah..."
"So, will you forget it? Because I did."
"I will."
"Good."
I nodded and soon a smile formed over his lips. I smiled back at him and, I don't know what I was thinking at the moment because the next thing I threw myself in his arms. He didn't seem surprised because he hugged me back right away. He put his arms around me and embraced me tightly and resting his cheek on the side of my head. "Thank you."
Instead of asking why I said that like he always did he just nodded, I feel his head moving. "You're welcome." I guess he knew exactly what I was thanking him for and that was good because I didn't want to get into everything again.
No explications needed. He just kept me in his arms and, boy that was the most amazing feeling in the world. I felt like I wanted to spend my whole life with him, to keep him with me all the time or be in his arms forever.
* * *
"Now, close your eyes and make a wish."
The muffin was in front of me again, he had lit the candle once more and his eyes glowed as he looked expectantly at me. He had this smile on his lips that makes you want to lock them with your own, and that's exactly what I thought, but I couldn't. It was pissing me off because I wanted so badly to taste his lips...
I closed my eyes to think of something to wish. I know, you're probably asking 'And you need to think?'. I know, I know, I don't need to think because I knew exactly what I wanted - not that I am going to tell you, because we can't tell our wishes or they won't come true - or who... Anyway, I blew the candle slowly and even slower I opened my eyes. Martin was there, right in front of me with his smile still firmly on.
"So, what did you wish?"
I faked a perplexed face and let my jaw fall. I pointed a finger at him, moving it as I spoke to emphathise my words. "You know very well I can't tell. It won't come true."
His smile widened and his eyes buried in mine. I just noticed how close he was to me. He wasn't sitting across from me anymore, he had taken a sit right next to me and it was so close I could feel the warmth of his body on mine. It was disturbing and welcoming at the same time. Strange, I know, but lately nothing is normal to me...
He took the candle out of the muffin and as licked the chocolate around it I looked down before I could have naughty thoughts of him and his... tongue... not going there. When I thought it was time enough to clean that lucky candle I looked up and watched as he cut the muffin in two and gave one part to me.
"Now, tell me, isn't this the best party ever?"
I laughed and let my hand fall on his arm then squeezed it gently. "The best I've ever had." I think my eyes sparkled and I felt a huge smile spread across my face. It was true; this was the best party I had since when I can remember. I've never felt so good with myself in this date. I always stayed at home, brooding and thinking about the bad things from my past but now, now I had a whole new memory to make this day special and happy.
Martin and his small personal party.
* * *
End of part 5
Author's note: Thank you all the reviews! They make me really glad! Now, broni, something will happen between Martin and Sam, but you have to wait ;]
Martin and Sam forum @ destinedto.proboards26.com
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Part Five
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I hurried to the conference table, where everyone was already gathered. Everyone, except me. I really hated being late. "I'm sorry." I said. "I'm late." and stated the obvious. I really hated being late. Everyone in the room looks at you when you enter it in a way that makes you wish you hadn't come or at least you had arrived early.
Last night, searching for my cell phone I think a dropped the alarm clock on floor and it didn't ring as it should making me arrive late. I gave Jack an apologetic smile and sat down next to Danny, who gave me an once over I don't know what the hell for. After I sent him a dirty look he silently chuckled and turned back to Jack and I did the same.
I paid attention to Jack for five minutes before my eyes slowly searched Martin and found him listening attently to what Jack was saying. Jesus, I couldn't stay watching him like that. I needed to pay attention to Jack and only Jack. Come one Sam, focus, I told myself but I think my brain needed a check up because instead of focusing on Jack it focused on Martin.
The next thing I heard Jack was teaming me with Danny. I seriously needed to work on my concentration skills, I needed to do my job right but I knew I had to sort things out before I could do it because the more I tried not to think of Martin, the more images of him entered my mind, the more focused on him I got.
I think he felt my eyes on him because soon he looked at me. His eyes glistened for a second and a discreet smile played on his lips. I smiled at him; it wasn't small, or discreet, or anything, it was a condign caused by Martin smile. I pressed my lips together to keep them from widening more and looked down before I couldn't keep it to myself and make it too obvious. I shook my head slightly and bit my lips, thinking how idiot I was.
I'm not a damn teenager anymore, for God's sake!
Keeping saying that Sam and will might believe that yourself. Or make it come true.
* * *
"One more year of grumpiness and blissful annoyance." He groaned a very fake groan... "And I'm still alive."
I narrowed my eyes and looked perplexed at Danny. He grinned from ear to ear and suddenly threw something at me. I caught it completely out of reflex and made a face at him. Danny should be more careful, really, he could hurt someone. Or if this something he threw at me was heavy and fragile? What if I wasn't that good and let it fall to the floor? Seriously, Danny really needed to be more careful.
"So subtle." I sneered. "You could hurt someone." I lifted the... thing... he threw at me so he could see it and had a look myself. "What is this?" I asked turning the package around in my hands. It had been obviously wrapped by Danny himself. Sometimes I catch myself wondering how old Danny is...
"Your present, Samantha. What do you think?" He raised an eyebrow and waved a hand to emphatise his words.
I smiled and slowly opened it. "You know, you didn't need to do it."
"Sure I did." He said with such a certainty that scared me. I mean, really scared. "But you have no right to complain. I asked what you wanted an you just played flirting with me."
I rolled my eyes and took the ... thing ... out of the paper and looked at it. "Oh my God." I busted up laughing and tried to focus on Danny through my teary eyes. "Oh, Danny. You REALLY didn't need." I said wiping my tears away. I threw the now ripped paper and lifted my gift in front of me. It was a big and fluffy dark red sweatshirt with bold letters in black on the front written: DON'T MESS WITH ME. Turning it I saw that on the back there was something written too with the same style. SAMANTHA SPADE - FEDERAL AGENT. Oh my god, again... Danny was really a child. He could have put my ID number too...
"Hey, you're always, and I do repeat, always complaining about the cold."
I stuck my tongue out at him. Yeah, childlike, I know... but it felt damn good. And now I really had to think of a situation that I could use this sweatshirt. "Thanks anyway." I gave him a smile and soon I found myself in his arms.
"Happy birthday, Sam."
He held me for a good two seconds or three then let me go. I pulled away and looked down at the gift in my hands trying to hold a few rebel tears from coming out of my eyes. "Thank you, Danny."
'There are a lot of people who love you...' Martin's voice echoed in my mind, repeating the same words he had said to me last night. I wanted to believe in that, I needed. Living a life so lonely and empty, things such as love were a little hard to believe in. But from a while back to now I started thinking about it more often than I used. Especially when Martin's name crossed my mind.
"Are you going to kiss me now?"
I grinned and winked flirtatiously at him. Tilting my head to the side and leaned in I whispered sensually in his ear. "No."
"Damn." He grinned too.
"Get out of here, Danny." I ordered and pushed him away. He waved a hand as he laughed and walked away.
* * *
I heard footsteps behind me and as soon as the person stopped knew who it was. I got that feeling whenever the person was around and the smell brought by the air lingered for three or four seconds around my nose. The recognition in my brain was linked with my mouth because I found myself smiling.
I felt him resting his back on my desk right beside me, his eyes watching me as I finished writing something down on my notepad. This was creepy, why was he staring at me like that? Say something! I yelled in my head. I was sure it wasn't the first time he watched me, he could do that as long as I didn't know. Like I said, creepy.
Well, at least it gave me time to decrease the big smile on my lips he brought with him.
I kept on doing my things, just waiting him to say something. I mean, he was the one who came; he should be the one to talk first. Right? I felt a shiver on my back but I wasn't sure if it was due to his presence or his eyes intensely on me. Isn't he going to speak? Really, he seemed a stalker or something. Creepy, creepy, creepy.
Not taking his stare any longer, I turned my head, tilting it slightly to look at him and I was surprised to see a smile of his own. Good Lord, please help me. I prayed silently... his smile makes melt and makes my legs turn into jelly... Ok, yeah, I said that before, but I bet you didn't know about the jelly thing, not to mention, but already doing that, the butterflies in me.
I cleared my throat to make sure my voice would come out steady. "May I help you?" I asked bringing my eyes back to... hum... let's see... I quickly searched for something with my eyes and found a random briefcase. There, something to do and look at instead of Martin.
"Actually, I'm here to help you."
I snapped my head up and looked at him, that boyish smile back on his lips. Damn him and my jelly legs. "Excuse me?" I narrowed my eyebrows at him and turned fully so now we were face to face.
"Just because I called you doesn't mean I can't congratulate in person."
"Really? I thought waking up in the middle of the night was your congratulations and your present as well." I smile at him, letting him know I was only joking and he gave me another smile in return.
"Bet you never received a happy birthday so right on time." He tilted his head and pointed a finger at me, his voice sounding in a way that made him seem he was really proud of himself. My God, and I thought Danny was the only child here.
I chuckled at the comparison and put my random briefcase down. For the first time since he got here I notice how blue his eyes were that moment. They were sparking for some reason I didn't know and the glow of it made his face glow too, specially with his smile firmly on. "Men and their big egos." I mumbled loud enough so Martin could hear. "Charming."
He looked at me just after hearing it with mock-perplexed expression. He opened his mouth and was about to say something when he closed it again. I think he changed his mind about what he was going to say... He squinted and stepped closer, a big fake question mark over his face. "Are you a feminist?"
What startled me more was the soft and firm sound of his voice instead of the ridiculous question, sounding like it was something he asked every day. I looked stunned at him for a while and when I had finally cured myself from my dumb state I put my hands on my hips and lifted my chin slightly. "Yeah, of course." I opened one drawer and took my gun out of there. "Why do you think I use a gun?"
To my complete surprise he started chuckling, but it was so obvious he was trying to restrain a real laugh that it reached the comical. Eventually his chuckle faded - thank god - and his eyes shone again. "I thought you liked the guns."
"Because it makes men nervous."
He stared at me, something in his eyes that I couldn't read, then his mouth opened as both a smile and words formed. "You crack me up inside, Sam."
I, like always, smiled because I couldn't help it. Strange or not, this move was becoming too common and good. "It's mutual."
He took out of the same drawer my cuffs and let it hung by one ring on his finger. He lifted this same finger until it was at eye level with me and smirked, what made me scared about what he would say next. "Do you use these too? You're really a possessive woman." He whispered, his tone flirtatious and very, very dirty.
"Argh." I took my cuffs from his hand and shoved it and my gun inside the drawer. "This was really dirty, Martin." I looked back at him and his smile widened. Was my face looking funny? "And discustin.... fun...." I narrowed my eyebrows to myself. Thinking better, yeah, it could be fun, I mean, I'd have a man locked to my bed and I could do as I wished.
Hum....
... Interesting picture....
Wow!
... Wait a second! Oh my god.... I shook my head surprised at myself. Not that I've never had thoughts like these, because I had, but not in front of someone. Not Martin, when the person in question was right in front of me, watching me. I think I blushed. I felt my cheeks burning... yup... I flushed.
Hopefully Martin didn't notice.
I looked up at him and saw his big, dirty smirk. Damn, he noticed... "Stop staring." I said as if I had said something really common.
He didn't hear me or pretended he didn't. Either one it made me annoyed. "Are we going out for drinks tonight?"
"Sure. Why not? It's my birthday after all."
"That's right. It's your birthday and today I'll even let you get drunk." He smiled and winked as the words were said.
His smile was... tempting because it made me want to kiss him. Made me want to grab him and lock my lips with his. But I fought the urge, of course. I couldn't just take him like that, no matter what you're thinking. And our flirtation was becoming too obvious and constant. If Danny was here I'm sure he would be over us by now.
Thank god he wasn't because it would give him reason to mock me for the rest of my life.
* * *
I looked around memorizing the place I knew by heart. We had come here more times than I could remember and it was funny because I can remember every time we came here, every conversation we had, word by word. I can remember every expression on Martin's face and exactly how many times he smiled and it was funny too, because the only thing I can't remember is that I paid this much attention to him.
I watched him as he asked the drinks and Melinda - the young waitress - smiled flirtatiously at him. Seriously, I think this girl had a crush on him. A serious crush on him. Nothing against her, but the way she looked at him made me want to punch her. I had a gun, for god's sake! Why couldn't I just, discreetly of course, take my gun out of my pocket and put it over the table? It worked with men, it would very well work with a 17 year old girl.
I don't know what's wrong with me... Why am I feeling jealousy? I shouldn't feel jealousy, I shouldn't, I shouldn't, I shouldn't. I just... shouldn't... because it was one more sign of my ever-growing feelings for Martin and they had to stop growing, they had to stop making me feel like that.
I casted a quick glance at... hissssss Melinda... and made a face at her, one that, obviously, only I could see. "Whore..." I muttered. Nothing against the girl, but jealousy could make you so evil towards somebody and make it seem like you don't like them even if you don't even know them.
"I'm sorry?"
I looked up at him, my eyes widening in horror praying he hadn't heard what I just said. "What?" That's right; play innocent, dumb. You didn't hear him, it will make him repeat and luckily tell what he wanted.
"No, you said something. What was it?"
He didn't hear. Now I believe in God. "Nothing. I was just... thinking out loud."
He smiled and let go of the issue. We stayed in silence until cough:Melinda:cough brought the drinks and went away, not of course, without winking at Martin. How I hate her... "I have something for you."
"For me? Why?"
"It's your birthday... dumbass. Of course I have to give you something." He rolled his eyes and I was still perplexed by his words. Me, dumbass? Martin really needed to work his vocabulary. No one call me dumbass. No one.
But before I could give him a well deserved answer, his attention was in another place. He was searching for something in his coat's pockets and soon took out of there a big chocolate muffin. "What's that?"
He smirked and showed me a small pink candle. If he does what I'm thinking he's going to do, I'll kill him. He stuck the candle in the middle of the muffin and lit it. "I didn't know what to give you so a real party was much better, huh?"
"A real party?"
"Yeah, of course." He brought the muffin, and consequently his hand, which like his entire body, smelled like heaven, closer to my face. That boyish smile again on his lips. He started singing. Oh my god... I'll kill him if I have to. I was seriously thinking about running from here but seeing his smile and the happiness in his eyes just by giving me a 'real party' made my heart melt and I couldn't say no anymore. And his voice, it was so soft and the melody of it was so soothing. He was whispering the words, singing it like an angel, and only for me.
The beat of my heart suddenly turned into rapid ones. My pulse was rushing. Everything inside of me was going fast and how all these mixed up feelings rushed throughout my body and I couldn't tell which one apart. Then somehow, all these thoughts entered my mind and flooded it so badly, that they cluttered together and I couldn't think straight. Confusion escaped from me and ended up all over my face.
He looked up at me, twinkles in his eyes. A smile formed across his face, he showed delight in his features but when his eyes found mine, his face changed from delight to worry. Oh, fuck, it was all too clear. "Sam, what's wrong?"
I wanted to answer him, but words failed me. I felt burning in the back of my eyes and I knew I was about to cry. I couldn't cry, I couldn't cry in front of him. I didn't even know why I was about to cry. My breath was slowly coming out in small puffs of air and I felt as if I needed more than I was able to breath at the moment.
"Sam?" Warm touch consequently burning of skin and wild butterflies. I didn't need this right now. Plus his voice, so soft and concerned. I should be happy by all the attention I get from him, but this very moment all I wanted was to get away from him and stop the tears threatening to fall down my cheeks.
I pulled my arm away from his touch and got up. "I..." My voice broke as tears started falling. Damn Martin. "I'll be right back..." I think my voice was as teary as my eyes were. I felt the force of them in me. Before I could turn away from him a couple of damned tears ran from my eyes and I am sure Martin saw them.
I hurried to the rest room, getting away from him as quickly as I could, praying he wouldn't follow me. I don't know what came into me; this sudden wave of tears just overwhelmed me. Before I could even reach half the way to the rest room my face was wetted all over and my eyes were burning. To my luck no one was in there so I wouldn't have to hide in one of the bathrooms.
Within the safety of these four walls I finally let myself break. I finally let the tears I was holding back fall down my cheeks. God, it was so hard. Martin, he was so intense sometimes, he brought these mixed and confusing feelings in me to the front, he made them so much stronger than when he wasn't around. It was hard to see he cared so much about me, to see that someone I had pushed away before and despised could be so loving.
I had no one. No mother, father, brother or sisters, no one in my life to share happy moments, to show my weak and strong sides, to help me through hard times. The only thing I had was Martin, one I seriously couldn't care less before, one I didn't give a damn if was sad or happy, but now I just couldn't control myself. Seeing him so pleased to make me happy made me touched and angry with myself for acting the way I did towards him.
I put both my hands on the sink trying to take some of the weight from my feet. I pounded my palm on my forehead repeatedly and leaned in against the mirror over the sink. Oh, why had I feel like that? Why had I to break now? I'm so stupid, immature, ridiculous, idiotic... Martin was just trying to make me feel better giving me a small personal party. It was just too much...
"Did I do something wrong?"
Startled by his voice, I jumped and turned to face him with a start. If he did something wrong? My God, he was the sweetest person I've ever met and he thought I was crying because of him. "No." I shook my head, my eyes instead of looking at him, down at my hands, which started to twist nervously. "Have you..." I trailed of and looked at him, needing to see his eyes and see the truth in there. "Have you ever been angry with me?"
He narrowed his eyes in confusion and stepped closer to me. "No." He shook his head and stepped even closer. "Of course not."
"I mean, after everything, how I treated you..." I was so pissed at myself; you have no idea. I always thought less of him and now here he is, giving me a birthday party.
"We barely knew each other. We always do things we regret later, but we did them we there is nothing we can do about it." He spoke with such sweetness I caught myself staring at him, but he was looking at me too, right in the eye. He touched my arm and pulled my softly to him, away from the sink.
"Yeah..."
"So, will you forget it? Because I did."
"I will."
"Good."
I nodded and soon a smile formed over his lips. I smiled back at him and, I don't know what I was thinking at the moment because the next thing I threw myself in his arms. He didn't seem surprised because he hugged me back right away. He put his arms around me and embraced me tightly and resting his cheek on the side of my head. "Thank you."
Instead of asking why I said that like he always did he just nodded, I feel his head moving. "You're welcome." I guess he knew exactly what I was thanking him for and that was good because I didn't want to get into everything again.
No explications needed. He just kept me in his arms and, boy that was the most amazing feeling in the world. I felt like I wanted to spend my whole life with him, to keep him with me all the time or be in his arms forever.
* * *
"Now, close your eyes and make a wish."
The muffin was in front of me again, he had lit the candle once more and his eyes glowed as he looked expectantly at me. He had this smile on his lips that makes you want to lock them with your own, and that's exactly what I thought, but I couldn't. It was pissing me off because I wanted so badly to taste his lips...
I closed my eyes to think of something to wish. I know, you're probably asking 'And you need to think?'. I know, I know, I don't need to think because I knew exactly what I wanted - not that I am going to tell you, because we can't tell our wishes or they won't come true - or who... Anyway, I blew the candle slowly and even slower I opened my eyes. Martin was there, right in front of me with his smile still firmly on.
"So, what did you wish?"
I faked a perplexed face and let my jaw fall. I pointed a finger at him, moving it as I spoke to emphathise my words. "You know very well I can't tell. It won't come true."
His smile widened and his eyes buried in mine. I just noticed how close he was to me. He wasn't sitting across from me anymore, he had taken a sit right next to me and it was so close I could feel the warmth of his body on mine. It was disturbing and welcoming at the same time. Strange, I know, but lately nothing is normal to me...
He took the candle out of the muffin and as licked the chocolate around it I looked down before I could have naughty thoughts of him and his... tongue... not going there. When I thought it was time enough to clean that lucky candle I looked up and watched as he cut the muffin in two and gave one part to me.
"Now, tell me, isn't this the best party ever?"
I laughed and let my hand fall on his arm then squeezed it gently. "The best I've ever had." I think my eyes sparkled and I felt a huge smile spread across my face. It was true; this was the best party I had since when I can remember. I've never felt so good with myself in this date. I always stayed at home, brooding and thinking about the bad things from my past but now, now I had a whole new memory to make this day special and happy.
Martin and his small personal party.
* * *
End of part 5