Meg, Kat and Akkiko all stared, sweatdropping. "You've got to be kidding,"
Kat said.
Trowa grinned. "Nope, this is revenge for that kiss."
Meg and Kat turned on Akkiko. "You STUPID DEMON!! Look what you've done!!"
Akkiko sighed. "Whatever . . ." she muttered.
Akkiko walked over to the Trowa's Gundam and grabbed onto the line that hoisted them up. Once there, she let go of the rope and started scaling the Gundam. Reaching the top, she climbed over the top of the head and sat between the prongs. Yelling down to the others, "It's a good thing I'm not afraid of heights. . . MUCH!!" She clung to the middle prong. "My God, why did I agree to this?"
Kat looked at Meg, Meg looked at Kat; they both looked up at Akkiko, and then back at each other. Suddenly they clasped each other in a huge hug. "If I die, I'll see you in the next world!" they said, little tears dropping from their eyes.
They let go of each other, and Meg went off to Duo's Gundam, Kat went off to Heero's. Akkiko watched then from atop Trowa's Gundam. "HOW COME I DIDN'T GET A HUG?????"
Kat looked up and grinned. "Because you're a demon, and can't handle such sweetness."
Akkiko looked thoughtful. "Oh yeah." She said, and continued clinging wildly. Meanwhile, Meg was having . . . a little trouble.
"HALP!" She screamed. She had reached the head, but had slid off, and was now clinging to the wing. "I'm gonna die!!!"
Quatre sighed, and reached the hand of his Gundam out to catch Meg. He put her on top of Deathscythe's head. "Imagine how this must look." He sighed. "Two huge giant machines of ultimate destruction helping one little puny girl."
Meg glared over at Sandrock. "SHADDAP!" she said, and made herself comfortable.
Kat in the meantime had already settled herself on top of Heero's Gundam. All the pilots sighed in unison. What the hell had they gotten themselves into?
Kat grinned. "OH, you have no idea . . ." she said.
The pilots sweatdropped. They could read minds, too?
"Oh, yeah!" Meg said.
Akkiko laughed maniacally. "Wait until you see what we can do to the other guys."
The GW boys sighed. "Good lord, this is going to be a battle to remember." The rest of them climbed into their Gundams.
"Don't go to fast!' Akkiko yelled. "If you drop me I will severely maim you in the next world!!"
Trowa sweatdropped. "Yeah, I'll try to avoid that," he said, and suddenly the Gundams were off.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Meg screamed, and looked over at Kat and Akkiko, who were laughing loudly, saying "WHEEE! Go faster-go faster!!"
Meg stared. "HOW CAN YOU BE SO CALM?" she screamed . . . again.
Akkiko shrugged. "I'm a demon, remember? Not everything is in my head."
"And I like speeding!" Kat grinned. "Remember THAT conversation?"
Meg winced. "I think I'm gonna be sick!"
"Hey, hey!" Duo shouted up at her. "If you're going to be sick, do it when we land!"
Meg glared down at him. "I don't think I can keep it in that long!"
"Tough!" Duo said. 'If you're sick now, I'll knock you off with my Scythe."
Meg rolled her eyes. "Oooh . . . I'm REALLY scared." She said sarcastically.
***
"Oh, dear-watch out for the one behind you!" Kat screamed.
"Thanks!" Heero yelled, and took out the MD that was behind him.
Trowa was suddenly hit by a missile. Akkiko glared. "You BASTARDS! You hit Trowa!" Suddenly she went into demon-mode (A/N: Let me know when you get tired of that!) Little cat ears and horns sprouted up on her brow. Her eyes became slitted and a tail whipped behind her. Bat wings sprouted on her back. She stood up slowly and glared again, red eyes flashing.
"Oh shit!" Kat said. "We're gonna die!"
Akkiko took off. Suddenly the MD went up in flames. Akkiko cackled. "BWAHAHA! I am Akkiko! I rule ALL! FEAR ME!!"
Kat grinned. "Okay, maybe WE'RE not gonna die . . ."
Trowa sweatdropped. "Well, I'll admit they're useful-but they still freak me out . . ."
Akkiko whizzed by his Gundam. "Thank you!" She said in salute, and then flew off to roast more Mobile Suites
Five thousand miles away, a private turned to Treize. "Sir, he said. "We appear to be losing to a flying bat-girl . . . thingy . . ."
Treize raised an eyebrow. "Really? Can you show me this?"
The private clicked a button and the screen suddenly was filled with battle images. There was, indeed, a winged-girl flitting about, destroying the MD.
"BWAHAHA!" Akkiko screamed. "I am the God of Destruction! FEAR ME!!"
Treize raised another eyebrow. "Who . . . or what is that?" he said.
The private clicked another button. On the battlefield, a voice suddenly rang out form one of the suits. "Little demon thingy-who . . . or what are you?"
Kat and Meg grinned. "Oh dear lord . . . here it comes . . . again!"
Akkiko smiled and flew into the air, landing on Trowa's Gundam and striking a manly pose. "I am Akkiko the Demonchild! I am the Lord of Destruction!" Forks of lightening suddenly flashed behind her.
Kat stood up on Heero's Gundam. "And I am Kat, the . . . were-Kat! I am the Queen of Chaos!!" Thunder rolled in the clouds.
Meg stood up on Deathscythe. "And I am MEG! The . . . . er-never mind!"
Akkiko and Kat looked at her. "What kind of introduction is that?"
Meg shrugged. "Can I help it if I don't have any interesting nicknames?"
Akkiko sighed. "You are Lily-among-the-thorns! You can say . . . you're the DRAMA QUEEN, or the SORCERESS!"
Meg's face suddenly lit up. "I am MEG! The Army-Brat! Sorceress of Darkness!!"
Treize and everyone else sweatdropped. Akkiko looked up and grinned. "We are the Smurfketeers! Smurf power!!"
Kat frowned. "We are not smurfketeers." She said. Meg nodded.
Akkiko pouted. "Yes we are! Of course we are!" The three girls proceeded to argue.
The private stared and whispered through the intercom to the Gundam pilots, "And you're with them?"
The GW boys shook their head wildly. "NOO!!"
Akkiko stared. "But Wuffles! Come on-you like me, don't you?"
Treize snickered. "Wuffles?"
Wufei turned red and glared in Akkiko's direction. He muttered something in Chinese.
"What was that?" Akkiko yelled.
"I . . . am . . . going . . . to . . . kill . . . you . . . later . . ." Wufei said slowly.
Akkiko grinned. "Okay!!"
Kat grinned. "Death is fun!!" Suddenly she sprouted black angel wings and her ears turned cat-like. Her eyes became all glowing green and slitted. "Hey, Akkiko!" She yelled. "Save some for me!" She jumped off Wing-Zero to join the fun!
Meg sighed. "Now I can't do anything until someone pisses ME off," she sat down on Deathscythe's head, and pouted.
Akkiko flew over. "Hmmm . . ." she said, thinking *yes, Akkiko is actually thinking. God help us all* She snapped her fingers. "Hey, Kat!" she called. "Do you remember in Endless Waltz when Duo was hurt by OZ?"
Meg suddenly looked dup and glared. "WHAT?"
The private turned to Treize. "Uh, sir . . . I think we're screwed . . ."
Meg pushed off Deathscythe's head, horns on her forehead, and a little devil's tail whipping around behind her. She was supported in the air by a glowing black aura.
The private turned back to Treize again. "Yep, we're officially screwed."
Treize sweatdropped. "Like I didn't know." He thought for a moment, and the three girls continued to wreck destruction on the MD. The GW boys stared dumbfounded, not even fighting anymore. Their sweatdrops grew bigger by the second.
Only thirty seconds later, all the MDs were in crumpled heaps. Meg, Kat and Akkiko slapped hands and danced around. "Oh yes! New record! Sixty destroyed in less than a minute! BWAHAHA!!"
The private stared at Treize. "Should I send out more MDs?"
Treize sweatdropped again. "Is there anything that there that can destroy those . . . um . . . thingies?"
Kat yelled through the intercom. "We're young ladies!"
Akkiko glared. "I am not a lady!"
Kat shrugged. "Neither am I, but hey, what the heck?"
Akkiko sighed and continued to burn the already crumpled MD heaps.
The private turned to Treize. "Sir, if we don't do something, they're going to find the base and DESTROY US!!"
Meg stared off into the distance. "Hey, look over there!" she sad, pointing. "Doesn't that look like some sort of military headquarters?"
Heero stared. "How can you tell?"
The three girls stared up at his Gundam. "HELLOO!! ARMY-BRAT!!"
Quatre checked it out, clicking a few buttons. "Yep, that's Treize's headquarters." He confirmed.
Everyone in the room sweatdropped. "Shit!"
Treize sighed, and got up. "Okay, private-call in the BIG GUNS!!"
The private went completely white. "Y-you don't mean . . ."
Treize nodded. "Oh, yeah!"
The private went over to a wall and picked up a phone. A sign on the wall beside it read: "Do not use this phone unless completely necessary! Even then, do not use this phone if you at all value your life! This is your last warning! DO NOT pick it up . . . You picked it up, didn't you? Well, congratulations-you're completely screwed. Enjoy the end of the world!"
The private waited as the phone rang. A raspy voice talked into it. "What?"
***
Kat, Meg, Akkiko, and the other GW boys raced towards the headquarters. Suddenly the ground shook, and something sprouted out of it.
Meg shrieked. "It's a ghost! It came out of the ground!"
The others sighed. "No, Meg, it just cam out of an underground base. Some army-brat . . ."
Meg turned to glare. "SHADDUP!"
Suddenly a raspy voice issued from the new-comer. "Well, if it isn't the school-skipping brats!"
Kat blanched. "IT'S ZECHS!!!!" she screamed, and flew behind Heero's Gundam.
Meg was halfway to Duo's when Akkiko stopped her. "You're going to go and HIDE?" she demanded.
Meg thought for a moment, and then nodded furiously. "YEAH!!" She flew off.
Akkiko sighed. Now she was going to have to deal with the raspy-voiced crazed maniac all by herself. She grinned. This could be FUN!!
Turning around, she faced Zechs in his rather LARGE suit. Zechs stared. "Hey, you're that Anti-Heero Club member."
Akkiko blanched. Heero turned on her. "WHAT?"
Akkiko mumbled. "Well . . . you see . . . I, um, had to make up this little lie . . ."
Kat peeked her head out. "Yeah, to save ME!!"
Akkiko sighed. Zechs continued. "So, have you dyed his clothes pink yet?"
Akkiko moaned. Heero turned on her again. "Wufei, when you decide to kill her, call me-I'll gladly help."
Akkiko sighed and turned back to Zechs. "Thanks a lot, you raspy-voiced idiot!!!"
Zechs scowled. "Do not . . . make fun of . . . the voice!" He hefted his humongous buster rifle in to the air, turning it towards Akkiko.
Akkiko sighed. "Man . . . What is with guys and guns? Is it just me?" She flew right toward Zechs, and once she was beside the buster rifle, she touched . . . very, very gently. It blew up, the Mobile Suit along with it.
"She ain't human!" Duo said, pulling on his braid. "She just ain't HUMAN!"
"No shit, Sherlock!" Meg yelled.
Zechs was on the ground, coughing. His hair was glowing a bit at the edges, and his face and clothes all over it. He sighed. "Why does this always happen to me?"
Akkiko flew down to him. "Because you're special!!" She hugged him and kissed him on the cheek. He blanched, and ran away screaming.
The private turned to Trieze . . . again. "Sir, it seems that Mr. Marquise has failed."
"DAMMIT!" Treize said, and got out of his chair. "Abandon the headquarters before they get here!" He started for the door. When he was five feet away from it, it opened, to reveal Meg, Kat and Akkiko, who had reverted back to 'normal' mode. Behind them were the Gundam pilots.
Treize sweatdropped. "Oh . . . shite." He raised his hands in surrender.
"BWAHAHA!" Akkiko said. "We have defeated you!!"
Duo stared at Heero. "Man, that's the fastest takedown of OZ we've ever done!"
Heero nodded. "Thanks, girls," he said, and moved in, holding up his gun. He pointed it at Treize. "You move, and I shoot where it hurts."
Trieze went white. "Not moving!"
Akkiko ran over to the consol by the private. "Ooh . . . pretty buttons!"
The private sweatdropped. "Okay, I know I can't kill you, or do anything to maim you, so you are free to push whatever button you want!" He grinned maniacally. "But you see that little red button? Do not push the little red button." *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*
Akkiko grinned back at him, her finger hovering above *you guessed it* the little red button. Kat and Meg stared. "AKKIKO-NOOOO!!!" Meg started running towards her *everything turns slow-mo* Akkiko's finger goes closer to the button, and when Meg is almost ready to tackle her, Akkiko pulls her hand away.
"Psyche!" she said, grinning. Unfortunately, Meg's tackle carried her too far, and her hand landed on the consol, pushing *oh, yes* the little red button.
Everyone sweatdropped. "EVACUATE!!" the private yelled. Everyone got up out of their chairs and proceeded to the aircraft hanger. Even Treize ran, though Heero had threatened him. Red lights and sirens went off, along with a robotic voice saying "X minus ten minutes before detonation of headquarters."
Now the only people left were Kat, Meg, Akkiko and the GW boys.
"What do we do? What do we do??" Duo screamed, running around.
"Meg, why did you choose the pilot that is the most annoying?" Akkiko asked. "And why are you so *beep*in' clumsy??"
Meg blushed. "I guess it's too late to say 'oops'."
Kat rolled her eyes. "Oh, yeah." She went over to the consol, and wrenched off a metal panel below it. There were a mass of wires. She pulled a few of them out to stare, and then reached into her pocket. She brought out a little pair of pliers. "Everyone hang on to your butts!" She said, and pulled a little red wire out between her fingers. "I am a trained professional . . . not!"
Akkiko leaped away and hid behind Heero. "Yeah, and the last time she tried to defuse a bomb, she ended up in Tibet!"
"Did not!" Kat screeched. "It was Czechoslovakia!" (A/N: For those of you who are not too intellectual, Czechoslovakia is a country beside Russia that has now been split into two separate countries, the Czech Republic and Slovakia. But I really like saying Czechoslovakia for some reason, soooo . . . Now, then, that is the geography lesson for today, let's get back to our usually mayhem!) Kat took the pliers and put them around the red wire. Squeezing her eyes shut, she prayed.
Everyone else stared at her, then at each other, and then ducked behind Treize's chair *It was . . . a little cramped*
"Heero, you're on my head!" Akkiko screeched.
Kat, startled by the yell, accidentally clipped the blue wire. "Oops . . ." she said. The headquarters proceeded to blow up.
"Oh, crap!" everyone said, and hid behind the chair. For some reason, they were all okay. The chair had protected him. Duo, however, continued to run about, screaming "My braid is on fire! My braid is on fire!"
A stumbling pile of ashes made its way towards them. "Another mission, perfectly executed!" Kat said.
Everyone glared. "PERFECTLY??"
Kat shrugged, and rubbed ashes off her face. "Well . . . almost perfectly."
"Here, have a hanky," Heero said, sweatdropping. *Duo ran around in the background, still freaking out*
Kat sighed. "Oh, come here, you big baby!" she said, and put Duo in a hammerlock. She licked her fingers and squeezed on the end of his braid, extinguishing the flame. *Which was barely a centimetre tall*
Duo collapsed, and then popped up again. "THANK YOU THANKYOU THANK YOU!!" He said, bowing over Kat's hands. "You saved the braid!"
Kat sweatdropped. "Um . . . you're welcome." Meg came up behind her and pushed her away.
"HE'S MINE!" she said, and glomped onto him . . . again.
Duo sweatdropped. "Uh . . . HELP!!" he screamed, and ran away.
Meg ran after him. "Duo, my beloved! Come back!"
Trowa stared after. "And I thought I had the bad one!"
Akkiko glomped onto him. "Hello, my shnuggie-poo!" Trowa peeled her off and ran after Duo, screaming. Akkiko was about to follow when her cell phone rang. She beeped it on and spoke into it. "Hello?" An indistinguishable voice spoke on the other end. "Oh, hello, Dracee! How are you? Oh, wait, the other line is busy." She beeping another button and spoke into the phone. "OH, hey, Seto, what's up?"
Trowa peeked from behind a smouldering desk. "Who's Dracee? And who's Seto?" he asked, confused.
Kat sighed. "Her OTHER boyfriends."
"Other boyfriends?" the others demanded.
Kat shrugged.
Going back to Akkiko's conversation. "Oh, I'm doing fine, Seto. Oh, hang on. The other line's busy. Can I call you back?" She pushed yet another button and held the receiver to her ear again. "Hello? OH-hi, Riku!"
The others sweatdropped. "And . . . How many boyfriends does she have?" Quatre asked, bemused.
"Hmm, let's see." Akkiko stared counting on her fingers.
***
(Ten minutes later)
Akkiko was STILL counting on her fingers. Heero and Kat were sitting on the floor, playing Go Fish with some cards that had also magically survived the explosion. Wufei was swinging his practice sword around and Quatre was reading a book. Meg and Duo were still running . . . somewhere, and Trowa was still hiding from Akkiko.
***
(ANOTHER ten minutes later.)
Akkiko ended the boyfriend-count at 165. Wufei and Quatre had joined Kat and Heero and the four of them were now playing Strip Poker. Kat, of course was winning.
"Okay," she said, rubbing her hands together malevolently. "Who's next?"
Towa had fallen asleep at his hiding place, and Meg and Duo were still off somewhere . . . No one wanted to know.
Akkiko looked around. "HEY!! Weren't you guys listening?"
Kat stared at her. "Uh . . . were we supposed to?"
Akkiko sighed and sat on the floor pouting and drawing little circles in the dust with her finger. "No one loves me!" she said.
Kat sweatdropped. "Uh . . . you're a demon, remember? If someone loves you, you would die from the sweetness."
"And don't you have a hundred and sixty-five boyfriends?" Quatre asked. So far, he had lost his shirt and left shoe. He had placed his vest up for bet.
Kat laid down her cards. "Fork it over!" she said. Quatre grudgingly took it off.
Kat and Akkiko stared. Quatre was actually pretty hot . . . Akkiko ran up to Kat, grabbing her. "GET TROWA TO PLAY!! Get him to bet his shirt!"
Kat sweatdropped. "YOU get him to play! This is the guy who would self- destruct if you look at him funny."
Akkiko stared. "Wasn't that Heero?"
Kat rolled her eyes. "Oh, heck, they'll BOTH self-destruct if you look at them funny."
Akkiko nodded. "That's better!" She went off to look for Meg and Duo. "Where'd the Dingbat get to?"
"SHE'S GONNA EAT ME!!" a scream tore through what was left of the headquarters. Everyone looked up. Kat shrugged. "Okay boys, you can take back your clothes-but NEXT time-we're playing for keeps!"
The pilots looked at each other. "That is the last time I call a woman weak," Wufei said, and pulled his pants back on.
Suddenly another scream tore through the air. It was Akkiko. "I can't open this jar of pickles!"
Wufei rolled his eyes. "Never mind!" Looking at Akkiko, he said smugly. "Weak onna."
Heero looked at Kat. She beeped a button on a stop-watch. "Wow-new record," she said. "Wufei promised not to call women weak for a whole thirty seconds!"
Akkiko swore. "We can kill him AFTER someone opens the pickle jar!"
Quatre stared. "Why don't you go demon-mode?" he asked.
Akkiko glared at him. "Like you use a grenade for special occasions, Demon mode is only used for special occasions. You DON'T use it to open a *beep*in' pickle jar!"
Quatre backed away. "O-kay!" he said, hand raised in form of him.
Yet another scream tore through the remains of the HQ. "SOME ONE SAVE ME FROM THE *BEEP*in' FANGIRL!!"
Everyone stared. "Okay . . . what is Meg doing to the poor boy?" Kat asked.
Wufei looked at her. "Do you REALLY want to know?"
Kat went white. "No. No, not really."
The group proceeded to look for Meg and Duo. They were soon found, Meg was putting on PINK lipstick, and Duo was tied up with duck tape, and hanging upside down from a bit of not-destroyed ceiling.
Akkiko jumped over. "Meg, what the hell are you doing?"
Meg grinned at her. "Getting ready for a snog-fest."
At this Duo screamed even louder. "SAVE ME!!!"
Akkiko looked at Kat; Kat looked at Akkiko. "You go!"
The day went on, and finally the two girls settled the argument with hand- to-hand mortal combat. Unfortunately, Kat won. Akkiko sighed. "FINE!" she snapped. She dragged herself, bruised and battered, over to where Meg was now putting on some eye shadow.
"Uh, Meg, sorry to bother you when you SO busy . . . But I'll have to ask you NOT to scar Duo for life in this way."
Meg turned, and Akkiko jumped back. "AAAH!!! It the thing from the great beyond!" she screamed.
'It's me, you stupid demon," Meg said. Her face was so heavily made-up that no one could really tell it was her.
Kat sweatdropped. "Remind me NEVER to touch makeup again," she whispered to Akkiko.
Akkiko blanched. "I'm not even going to go NEAR the makeup section of stores anymore!"
The GW pilots rolled their eyes. Akkiko, who Kat swore had eyes out the back of her head, turned around, flames in her eyes. "YOU think it's so EASY to be a girl? YOU TRY IT SOMETIME!!" The boys sweatdropped, and turned away, whistling.
"Uh, guys?" Duo called plaintively. "REMEMBER ME?"
Quatre looked over at him. 'Uh . . . sorry. NO, we don't know you. What did you say your name was?"
Meg, Kat and Akkiko sweatdropped. Duo's face went red with rage. "You *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*!!" he yelled. "GET YOUR *BEEP*in' *BEEP*s OVER HERE! I AM GOING TO *BEEP*IN' KILL YOU AFTER THIS IS *BEEP*in' OVER!!"
Akkiko stared. "Hey, no swearing. That's my job, you *BEEP*in' pilot!"
Kat rolled her eyes. Duo swore back at her. "*BEEP* you! *BEEP* your *BEEP*in' *BEEP*!"
Everyone sweatdropped. Two teenagers were in a beeping battle to the end. After a while, Duo was weakening, thanks to the fact that he was hanging upside down. The blood was going to his brain . . . If he had one. Akkiko, however, was still fresh. Kat rummaged around in her purse, bringing out a marker.
She started to narrate. "Okay, folks, things are starting to get ugly. Uh- oh, looks like Duo's started to die . . . Akkiko hits him with fourteen beeps in a row-I think that's a world record. Hey, Meg, check for me. Anyways, Oh-look at that! Duo is making a comeback-oh-Akkiko's down! Good lord! Waitaminute! She's getting back up! YES! Akkiko is beeping the hell out of him!!"
Akkiko and Duo turned to stare at her. "Shut up, you *BEEP*!"
Kat sweatdropped and put the marker away. "Aww . . ." she murmured.
Trowa, seeing a golden opportunity for revenge, took a marker out of HIS back pocket and, speaking quietly so that only the GW boys and Kat could hear, also began narrating.
"Duo's loosing, folks, it looks like Akkiko may be the victor of this one! Wait! Wait! Duo is taking a deep breath-oh my God!! He has unleashed the fury of the red-faced swear! Of course, all the blood is coursing to his non-existent brain, so it's anyone's guess who'll win. Wait a second! Akkiko's breathing deep! What is she going to unleash??"
The air burst out with *BEEP*s!! Trowa continued narrating. "OH MY GOD!! Akkiko is trying to achieve the impossible! She's going for six-thousand swear words in one breath! The is exciting!!"
***
(Five minutes later . . .)
"*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*!!"
Trowa was sweating. "Oh, she's almost there! Five thousand, nine hundred and ninety eight . . . 5999 . . . OH . . . Oh MY GOD! WAIT!! Akkiko is choking!!! She trips on the finish line!!! OH NO!! She's collapsed! Duo is the victor!!"
Suddenly Akkiko looked up. "He is not, you *BEEP*S!!
Trowa sweatdropped. "Ladies and gentlemen . . . we may be here a while."
"Not if I can help it!" Meg burst out.
Kat sweatdropped. "My god, Meg, what have you done to your face? It looks like you've had an allergic reaction with something!"
Akkiko looked over, tiredly. "Isn't Meg allergic to that lipstick I stuck in her purse?" she stared over her shoulder for a moment, and then, eyes wide in fear, took a deep breath and started swearing again.
***
(Ten minutes later)
"OH MY GOD!!" Trowa said. "She's doing it! She's doing it! 5998, 5999! OH MY GOD!! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE HAVE A NEW WORLD RECORD!!! Six thousand swears in ONE BREATH!! But wait-she's going even further!"
***
(Another ten minutes later)
"Okay . . . look's like Akkiko is starting to wind down . . . Grand total: 7008 swears in one breath! SOME ONE CALL McGUINESS!!"
Kat sighed from where she was sitting; she and the other pilots were continuing their game of Strip Poker. "This is getting old," she said. Without thinking, she continued with. "I bet all my clothes, except for my underwear."
Heero, who had his game-face on, looked up, eyes filled with mischief. And- was that a gleam of eagerness in his eyes?
***
(Five minutes later)
"NO!!" Kat screamed. "YOU CHEATED!!"
Heero had put his cards down: a royal flush. Kat's face was completely red.
"Come on, Kat!" Akkiko said. The others had started laughing. "Fork them over!"
Kat sighed, and went behind a wall, throwing her clothes over as she took them off. "There is no way in hell," she muttered. "I am going to kill something!!"
Akkiko gulped. "Um . . . that something wouldn't be ME, would it?"
Kat's head peeked out from behind the wall. "If you get within my range- then yes!!"
Meg, who was still washing off the after-affects of the allergy-inducing makeup, felt sorry for Kat. She grabbed the clothes that Kat had won *sort of* and threw them over the wall.
"HEY!!" The GW boys said.
"Would someone help me?" Duo called *still hanging upside-down.
A minute later Kat stepped out; she was now wearing Heero's tank top, Wufei's shoes and Quatre's pants.
The boys sweatdropped. "GIVE US BACK OUR CLOTHES!!" They screamed and tackled her. Kat yelled and ran away, leaving a very confused Akkiko, Meg and Duo *who was STILL tied upside down*
Meg turned to Akkiko. Do you think we should help her?"
Akkiko shook her head. "Nah, she can handle herself."
Duo sweatdropped. "AKKIKO!! Get me the hell down from here!"
Akkiko turned to him and raised an eyebrow. "Dude, you must be desperate to ask for MY help.
Duo thought for a moment and then nodded his head wildly. "I AM desperate!"
Akkiko sighed, and went over to him. With some difficulty *her being so short* it took her a few minutes before Duo crashed to the ground headfirst. Her lay there, his eyes little X's. Meg ran over to him.
"Are you alright, Duo?' she asked in a sweet voice.
Duo popped up and edged away form. "Yes, I'm fine-if you kept away from me!!"
Meg pouted. "Boys," she muttered and stalked off.
Akkiko stared after her, perplexed. She pulled out her cell phone and hit a few buttons. "Hey, Dracee, how ya doing?"
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing. Leave me the hell alone!!
Trowa grinned. "Nope, this is revenge for that kiss."
Meg and Kat turned on Akkiko. "You STUPID DEMON!! Look what you've done!!"
Akkiko sighed. "Whatever . . ." she muttered.
Akkiko walked over to the Trowa's Gundam and grabbed onto the line that hoisted them up. Once there, she let go of the rope and started scaling the Gundam. Reaching the top, she climbed over the top of the head and sat between the prongs. Yelling down to the others, "It's a good thing I'm not afraid of heights. . . MUCH!!" She clung to the middle prong. "My God, why did I agree to this?"
Kat looked at Meg, Meg looked at Kat; they both looked up at Akkiko, and then back at each other. Suddenly they clasped each other in a huge hug. "If I die, I'll see you in the next world!" they said, little tears dropping from their eyes.
They let go of each other, and Meg went off to Duo's Gundam, Kat went off to Heero's. Akkiko watched then from atop Trowa's Gundam. "HOW COME I DIDN'T GET A HUG?????"
Kat looked up and grinned. "Because you're a demon, and can't handle such sweetness."
Akkiko looked thoughtful. "Oh yeah." She said, and continued clinging wildly. Meanwhile, Meg was having . . . a little trouble.
"HALP!" She screamed. She had reached the head, but had slid off, and was now clinging to the wing. "I'm gonna die!!!"
Quatre sighed, and reached the hand of his Gundam out to catch Meg. He put her on top of Deathscythe's head. "Imagine how this must look." He sighed. "Two huge giant machines of ultimate destruction helping one little puny girl."
Meg glared over at Sandrock. "SHADDAP!" she said, and made herself comfortable.
Kat in the meantime had already settled herself on top of Heero's Gundam. All the pilots sighed in unison. What the hell had they gotten themselves into?
Kat grinned. "OH, you have no idea . . ." she said.
The pilots sweatdropped. They could read minds, too?
"Oh, yeah!" Meg said.
Akkiko laughed maniacally. "Wait until you see what we can do to the other guys."
The GW boys sighed. "Good lord, this is going to be a battle to remember." The rest of them climbed into their Gundams.
"Don't go to fast!' Akkiko yelled. "If you drop me I will severely maim you in the next world!!"
Trowa sweatdropped. "Yeah, I'll try to avoid that," he said, and suddenly the Gundams were off.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Meg screamed, and looked over at Kat and Akkiko, who were laughing loudly, saying "WHEEE! Go faster-go faster!!"
Meg stared. "HOW CAN YOU BE SO CALM?" she screamed . . . again.
Akkiko shrugged. "I'm a demon, remember? Not everything is in my head."
"And I like speeding!" Kat grinned. "Remember THAT conversation?"
Meg winced. "I think I'm gonna be sick!"
"Hey, hey!" Duo shouted up at her. "If you're going to be sick, do it when we land!"
Meg glared down at him. "I don't think I can keep it in that long!"
"Tough!" Duo said. 'If you're sick now, I'll knock you off with my Scythe."
Meg rolled her eyes. "Oooh . . . I'm REALLY scared." She said sarcastically.
***
"Oh, dear-watch out for the one behind you!" Kat screamed.
"Thanks!" Heero yelled, and took out the MD that was behind him.
Trowa was suddenly hit by a missile. Akkiko glared. "You BASTARDS! You hit Trowa!" Suddenly she went into demon-mode (A/N: Let me know when you get tired of that!) Little cat ears and horns sprouted up on her brow. Her eyes became slitted and a tail whipped behind her. Bat wings sprouted on her back. She stood up slowly and glared again, red eyes flashing.
"Oh shit!" Kat said. "We're gonna die!"
Akkiko took off. Suddenly the MD went up in flames. Akkiko cackled. "BWAHAHA! I am Akkiko! I rule ALL! FEAR ME!!"
Kat grinned. "Okay, maybe WE'RE not gonna die . . ."
Trowa sweatdropped. "Well, I'll admit they're useful-but they still freak me out . . ."
Akkiko whizzed by his Gundam. "Thank you!" She said in salute, and then flew off to roast more Mobile Suites
Five thousand miles away, a private turned to Treize. "Sir, he said. "We appear to be losing to a flying bat-girl . . . thingy . . ."
Treize raised an eyebrow. "Really? Can you show me this?"
The private clicked a button and the screen suddenly was filled with battle images. There was, indeed, a winged-girl flitting about, destroying the MD.
"BWAHAHA!" Akkiko screamed. "I am the God of Destruction! FEAR ME!!"
Treize raised another eyebrow. "Who . . . or what is that?" he said.
The private clicked another button. On the battlefield, a voice suddenly rang out form one of the suits. "Little demon thingy-who . . . or what are you?"
Kat and Meg grinned. "Oh dear lord . . . here it comes . . . again!"
Akkiko smiled and flew into the air, landing on Trowa's Gundam and striking a manly pose. "I am Akkiko the Demonchild! I am the Lord of Destruction!" Forks of lightening suddenly flashed behind her.
Kat stood up on Heero's Gundam. "And I am Kat, the . . . were-Kat! I am the Queen of Chaos!!" Thunder rolled in the clouds.
Meg stood up on Deathscythe. "And I am MEG! The . . . . er-never mind!"
Akkiko and Kat looked at her. "What kind of introduction is that?"
Meg shrugged. "Can I help it if I don't have any interesting nicknames?"
Akkiko sighed. "You are Lily-among-the-thorns! You can say . . . you're the DRAMA QUEEN, or the SORCERESS!"
Meg's face suddenly lit up. "I am MEG! The Army-Brat! Sorceress of Darkness!!"
Treize and everyone else sweatdropped. Akkiko looked up and grinned. "We are the Smurfketeers! Smurf power!!"
Kat frowned. "We are not smurfketeers." She said. Meg nodded.
Akkiko pouted. "Yes we are! Of course we are!" The three girls proceeded to argue.
The private stared and whispered through the intercom to the Gundam pilots, "And you're with them?"
The GW boys shook their head wildly. "NOO!!"
Akkiko stared. "But Wuffles! Come on-you like me, don't you?"
Treize snickered. "Wuffles?"
Wufei turned red and glared in Akkiko's direction. He muttered something in Chinese.
"What was that?" Akkiko yelled.
"I . . . am . . . going . . . to . . . kill . . . you . . . later . . ." Wufei said slowly.
Akkiko grinned. "Okay!!"
Kat grinned. "Death is fun!!" Suddenly she sprouted black angel wings and her ears turned cat-like. Her eyes became all glowing green and slitted. "Hey, Akkiko!" She yelled. "Save some for me!" She jumped off Wing-Zero to join the fun!
Meg sighed. "Now I can't do anything until someone pisses ME off," she sat down on Deathscythe's head, and pouted.
Akkiko flew over. "Hmmm . . ." she said, thinking *yes, Akkiko is actually thinking. God help us all* She snapped her fingers. "Hey, Kat!" she called. "Do you remember in Endless Waltz when Duo was hurt by OZ?"
Meg suddenly looked dup and glared. "WHAT?"
The private turned to Treize. "Uh, sir . . . I think we're screwed . . ."
Meg pushed off Deathscythe's head, horns on her forehead, and a little devil's tail whipping around behind her. She was supported in the air by a glowing black aura.
The private turned back to Treize again. "Yep, we're officially screwed."
Treize sweatdropped. "Like I didn't know." He thought for a moment, and the three girls continued to wreck destruction on the MD. The GW boys stared dumbfounded, not even fighting anymore. Their sweatdrops grew bigger by the second.
Only thirty seconds later, all the MDs were in crumpled heaps. Meg, Kat and Akkiko slapped hands and danced around. "Oh yes! New record! Sixty destroyed in less than a minute! BWAHAHA!!"
The private stared at Treize. "Should I send out more MDs?"
Treize sweatdropped again. "Is there anything that there that can destroy those . . . um . . . thingies?"
Kat yelled through the intercom. "We're young ladies!"
Akkiko glared. "I am not a lady!"
Kat shrugged. "Neither am I, but hey, what the heck?"
Akkiko sighed and continued to burn the already crumpled MD heaps.
The private turned to Treize. "Sir, if we don't do something, they're going to find the base and DESTROY US!!"
Meg stared off into the distance. "Hey, look over there!" she sad, pointing. "Doesn't that look like some sort of military headquarters?"
Heero stared. "How can you tell?"
The three girls stared up at his Gundam. "HELLOO!! ARMY-BRAT!!"
Quatre checked it out, clicking a few buttons. "Yep, that's Treize's headquarters." He confirmed.
Everyone in the room sweatdropped. "Shit!"
Treize sighed, and got up. "Okay, private-call in the BIG GUNS!!"
The private went completely white. "Y-you don't mean . . ."
Treize nodded. "Oh, yeah!"
The private went over to a wall and picked up a phone. A sign on the wall beside it read: "Do not use this phone unless completely necessary! Even then, do not use this phone if you at all value your life! This is your last warning! DO NOT pick it up . . . You picked it up, didn't you? Well, congratulations-you're completely screwed. Enjoy the end of the world!"
The private waited as the phone rang. A raspy voice talked into it. "What?"
***
Kat, Meg, Akkiko, and the other GW boys raced towards the headquarters. Suddenly the ground shook, and something sprouted out of it.
Meg shrieked. "It's a ghost! It came out of the ground!"
The others sighed. "No, Meg, it just cam out of an underground base. Some army-brat . . ."
Meg turned to glare. "SHADDUP!"
Suddenly a raspy voice issued from the new-comer. "Well, if it isn't the school-skipping brats!"
Kat blanched. "IT'S ZECHS!!!!" she screamed, and flew behind Heero's Gundam.
Meg was halfway to Duo's when Akkiko stopped her. "You're going to go and HIDE?" she demanded.
Meg thought for a moment, and then nodded furiously. "YEAH!!" She flew off.
Akkiko sighed. Now she was going to have to deal with the raspy-voiced crazed maniac all by herself. She grinned. This could be FUN!!
Turning around, she faced Zechs in his rather LARGE suit. Zechs stared. "Hey, you're that Anti-Heero Club member."
Akkiko blanched. Heero turned on her. "WHAT?"
Akkiko mumbled. "Well . . . you see . . . I, um, had to make up this little lie . . ."
Kat peeked her head out. "Yeah, to save ME!!"
Akkiko sighed. Zechs continued. "So, have you dyed his clothes pink yet?"
Akkiko moaned. Heero turned on her again. "Wufei, when you decide to kill her, call me-I'll gladly help."
Akkiko sighed and turned back to Zechs. "Thanks a lot, you raspy-voiced idiot!!!"
Zechs scowled. "Do not . . . make fun of . . . the voice!" He hefted his humongous buster rifle in to the air, turning it towards Akkiko.
Akkiko sighed. "Man . . . What is with guys and guns? Is it just me?" She flew right toward Zechs, and once she was beside the buster rifle, she touched . . . very, very gently. It blew up, the Mobile Suit along with it.
"She ain't human!" Duo said, pulling on his braid. "She just ain't HUMAN!"
"No shit, Sherlock!" Meg yelled.
Zechs was on the ground, coughing. His hair was glowing a bit at the edges, and his face and clothes all over it. He sighed. "Why does this always happen to me?"
Akkiko flew down to him. "Because you're special!!" She hugged him and kissed him on the cheek. He blanched, and ran away screaming.
The private turned to Trieze . . . again. "Sir, it seems that Mr. Marquise has failed."
"DAMMIT!" Treize said, and got out of his chair. "Abandon the headquarters before they get here!" He started for the door. When he was five feet away from it, it opened, to reveal Meg, Kat and Akkiko, who had reverted back to 'normal' mode. Behind them were the Gundam pilots.
Treize sweatdropped. "Oh . . . shite." He raised his hands in surrender.
"BWAHAHA!" Akkiko said. "We have defeated you!!"
Duo stared at Heero. "Man, that's the fastest takedown of OZ we've ever done!"
Heero nodded. "Thanks, girls," he said, and moved in, holding up his gun. He pointed it at Treize. "You move, and I shoot where it hurts."
Trieze went white. "Not moving!"
Akkiko ran over to the consol by the private. "Ooh . . . pretty buttons!"
The private sweatdropped. "Okay, I know I can't kill you, or do anything to maim you, so you are free to push whatever button you want!" He grinned maniacally. "But you see that little red button? Do not push the little red button." *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*
Akkiko grinned back at him, her finger hovering above *you guessed it* the little red button. Kat and Meg stared. "AKKIKO-NOOOO!!!" Meg started running towards her *everything turns slow-mo* Akkiko's finger goes closer to the button, and when Meg is almost ready to tackle her, Akkiko pulls her hand away.
"Psyche!" she said, grinning. Unfortunately, Meg's tackle carried her too far, and her hand landed on the consol, pushing *oh, yes* the little red button.
Everyone sweatdropped. "EVACUATE!!" the private yelled. Everyone got up out of their chairs and proceeded to the aircraft hanger. Even Treize ran, though Heero had threatened him. Red lights and sirens went off, along with a robotic voice saying "X minus ten minutes before detonation of headquarters."
Now the only people left were Kat, Meg, Akkiko and the GW boys.
"What do we do? What do we do??" Duo screamed, running around.
"Meg, why did you choose the pilot that is the most annoying?" Akkiko asked. "And why are you so *beep*in' clumsy??"
Meg blushed. "I guess it's too late to say 'oops'."
Kat rolled her eyes. "Oh, yeah." She went over to the consol, and wrenched off a metal panel below it. There were a mass of wires. She pulled a few of them out to stare, and then reached into her pocket. She brought out a little pair of pliers. "Everyone hang on to your butts!" She said, and pulled a little red wire out between her fingers. "I am a trained professional . . . not!"
Akkiko leaped away and hid behind Heero. "Yeah, and the last time she tried to defuse a bomb, she ended up in Tibet!"
"Did not!" Kat screeched. "It was Czechoslovakia!" (A/N: For those of you who are not too intellectual, Czechoslovakia is a country beside Russia that has now been split into two separate countries, the Czech Republic and Slovakia. But I really like saying Czechoslovakia for some reason, soooo . . . Now, then, that is the geography lesson for today, let's get back to our usually mayhem!) Kat took the pliers and put them around the red wire. Squeezing her eyes shut, she prayed.
Everyone else stared at her, then at each other, and then ducked behind Treize's chair *It was . . . a little cramped*
"Heero, you're on my head!" Akkiko screeched.
Kat, startled by the yell, accidentally clipped the blue wire. "Oops . . ." she said. The headquarters proceeded to blow up.
"Oh, crap!" everyone said, and hid behind the chair. For some reason, they were all okay. The chair had protected him. Duo, however, continued to run about, screaming "My braid is on fire! My braid is on fire!"
A stumbling pile of ashes made its way towards them. "Another mission, perfectly executed!" Kat said.
Everyone glared. "PERFECTLY??"
Kat shrugged, and rubbed ashes off her face. "Well . . . almost perfectly."
"Here, have a hanky," Heero said, sweatdropping. *Duo ran around in the background, still freaking out*
Kat sighed. "Oh, come here, you big baby!" she said, and put Duo in a hammerlock. She licked her fingers and squeezed on the end of his braid, extinguishing the flame. *Which was barely a centimetre tall*
Duo collapsed, and then popped up again. "THANK YOU THANKYOU THANK YOU!!" He said, bowing over Kat's hands. "You saved the braid!"
Kat sweatdropped. "Um . . . you're welcome." Meg came up behind her and pushed her away.
"HE'S MINE!" she said, and glomped onto him . . . again.
Duo sweatdropped. "Uh . . . HELP!!" he screamed, and ran away.
Meg ran after him. "Duo, my beloved! Come back!"
Trowa stared after. "And I thought I had the bad one!"
Akkiko glomped onto him. "Hello, my shnuggie-poo!" Trowa peeled her off and ran after Duo, screaming. Akkiko was about to follow when her cell phone rang. She beeped it on and spoke into it. "Hello?" An indistinguishable voice spoke on the other end. "Oh, hello, Dracee! How are you? Oh, wait, the other line is busy." She beeping another button and spoke into the phone. "OH, hey, Seto, what's up?"
Trowa peeked from behind a smouldering desk. "Who's Dracee? And who's Seto?" he asked, confused.
Kat sighed. "Her OTHER boyfriends."
"Other boyfriends?" the others demanded.
Kat shrugged.
Going back to Akkiko's conversation. "Oh, I'm doing fine, Seto. Oh, hang on. The other line's busy. Can I call you back?" She pushed yet another button and held the receiver to her ear again. "Hello? OH-hi, Riku!"
The others sweatdropped. "And . . . How many boyfriends does she have?" Quatre asked, bemused.
"Hmm, let's see." Akkiko stared counting on her fingers.
***
(Ten minutes later)
Akkiko was STILL counting on her fingers. Heero and Kat were sitting on the floor, playing Go Fish with some cards that had also magically survived the explosion. Wufei was swinging his practice sword around and Quatre was reading a book. Meg and Duo were still running . . . somewhere, and Trowa was still hiding from Akkiko.
***
(ANOTHER ten minutes later.)
Akkiko ended the boyfriend-count at 165. Wufei and Quatre had joined Kat and Heero and the four of them were now playing Strip Poker. Kat, of course was winning.
"Okay," she said, rubbing her hands together malevolently. "Who's next?"
Towa had fallen asleep at his hiding place, and Meg and Duo were still off somewhere . . . No one wanted to know.
Akkiko looked around. "HEY!! Weren't you guys listening?"
Kat stared at her. "Uh . . . were we supposed to?"
Akkiko sighed and sat on the floor pouting and drawing little circles in the dust with her finger. "No one loves me!" she said.
Kat sweatdropped. "Uh . . . you're a demon, remember? If someone loves you, you would die from the sweetness."
"And don't you have a hundred and sixty-five boyfriends?" Quatre asked. So far, he had lost his shirt and left shoe. He had placed his vest up for bet.
Kat laid down her cards. "Fork it over!" she said. Quatre grudgingly took it off.
Kat and Akkiko stared. Quatre was actually pretty hot . . . Akkiko ran up to Kat, grabbing her. "GET TROWA TO PLAY!! Get him to bet his shirt!"
Kat sweatdropped. "YOU get him to play! This is the guy who would self- destruct if you look at him funny."
Akkiko stared. "Wasn't that Heero?"
Kat rolled her eyes. "Oh, heck, they'll BOTH self-destruct if you look at them funny."
Akkiko nodded. "That's better!" She went off to look for Meg and Duo. "Where'd the Dingbat get to?"
"SHE'S GONNA EAT ME!!" a scream tore through what was left of the headquarters. Everyone looked up. Kat shrugged. "Okay boys, you can take back your clothes-but NEXT time-we're playing for keeps!"
The pilots looked at each other. "That is the last time I call a woman weak," Wufei said, and pulled his pants back on.
Suddenly another scream tore through the air. It was Akkiko. "I can't open this jar of pickles!"
Wufei rolled his eyes. "Never mind!" Looking at Akkiko, he said smugly. "Weak onna."
Heero looked at Kat. She beeped a button on a stop-watch. "Wow-new record," she said. "Wufei promised not to call women weak for a whole thirty seconds!"
Akkiko swore. "We can kill him AFTER someone opens the pickle jar!"
Quatre stared. "Why don't you go demon-mode?" he asked.
Akkiko glared at him. "Like you use a grenade for special occasions, Demon mode is only used for special occasions. You DON'T use it to open a *beep*in' pickle jar!"
Quatre backed away. "O-kay!" he said, hand raised in form of him.
Yet another scream tore through the remains of the HQ. "SOME ONE SAVE ME FROM THE *BEEP*in' FANGIRL!!"
Everyone stared. "Okay . . . what is Meg doing to the poor boy?" Kat asked.
Wufei looked at her. "Do you REALLY want to know?"
Kat went white. "No. No, not really."
The group proceeded to look for Meg and Duo. They were soon found, Meg was putting on PINK lipstick, and Duo was tied up with duck tape, and hanging upside down from a bit of not-destroyed ceiling.
Akkiko jumped over. "Meg, what the hell are you doing?"
Meg grinned at her. "Getting ready for a snog-fest."
At this Duo screamed even louder. "SAVE ME!!!"
Akkiko looked at Kat; Kat looked at Akkiko. "You go!"
The day went on, and finally the two girls settled the argument with hand- to-hand mortal combat. Unfortunately, Kat won. Akkiko sighed. "FINE!" she snapped. She dragged herself, bruised and battered, over to where Meg was now putting on some eye shadow.
"Uh, Meg, sorry to bother you when you SO busy . . . But I'll have to ask you NOT to scar Duo for life in this way."
Meg turned, and Akkiko jumped back. "AAAH!!! It the thing from the great beyond!" she screamed.
'It's me, you stupid demon," Meg said. Her face was so heavily made-up that no one could really tell it was her.
Kat sweatdropped. "Remind me NEVER to touch makeup again," she whispered to Akkiko.
Akkiko blanched. "I'm not even going to go NEAR the makeup section of stores anymore!"
The GW pilots rolled their eyes. Akkiko, who Kat swore had eyes out the back of her head, turned around, flames in her eyes. "YOU think it's so EASY to be a girl? YOU TRY IT SOMETIME!!" The boys sweatdropped, and turned away, whistling.
"Uh, guys?" Duo called plaintively. "REMEMBER ME?"
Quatre looked over at him. 'Uh . . . sorry. NO, we don't know you. What did you say your name was?"
Meg, Kat and Akkiko sweatdropped. Duo's face went red with rage. "You *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*!!" he yelled. "GET YOUR *BEEP*in' *BEEP*s OVER HERE! I AM GOING TO *BEEP*IN' KILL YOU AFTER THIS IS *BEEP*in' OVER!!"
Akkiko stared. "Hey, no swearing. That's my job, you *BEEP*in' pilot!"
Kat rolled her eyes. Duo swore back at her. "*BEEP* you! *BEEP* your *BEEP*in' *BEEP*!"
Everyone sweatdropped. Two teenagers were in a beeping battle to the end. After a while, Duo was weakening, thanks to the fact that he was hanging upside down. The blood was going to his brain . . . If he had one. Akkiko, however, was still fresh. Kat rummaged around in her purse, bringing out a marker.
She started to narrate. "Okay, folks, things are starting to get ugly. Uh- oh, looks like Duo's started to die . . . Akkiko hits him with fourteen beeps in a row-I think that's a world record. Hey, Meg, check for me. Anyways, Oh-look at that! Duo is making a comeback-oh-Akkiko's down! Good lord! Waitaminute! She's getting back up! YES! Akkiko is beeping the hell out of him!!"
Akkiko and Duo turned to stare at her. "Shut up, you *BEEP*!"
Kat sweatdropped and put the marker away. "Aww . . ." she murmured.
Trowa, seeing a golden opportunity for revenge, took a marker out of HIS back pocket and, speaking quietly so that only the GW boys and Kat could hear, also began narrating.
"Duo's loosing, folks, it looks like Akkiko may be the victor of this one! Wait! Wait! Duo is taking a deep breath-oh my God!! He has unleashed the fury of the red-faced swear! Of course, all the blood is coursing to his non-existent brain, so it's anyone's guess who'll win. Wait a second! Akkiko's breathing deep! What is she going to unleash??"
The air burst out with *BEEP*s!! Trowa continued narrating. "OH MY GOD!! Akkiko is trying to achieve the impossible! She's going for six-thousand swear words in one breath! The is exciting!!"
***
(Five minutes later . . .)
"*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*!!"
Trowa was sweating. "Oh, she's almost there! Five thousand, nine hundred and ninety eight . . . 5999 . . . OH . . . Oh MY GOD! WAIT!! Akkiko is choking!!! She trips on the finish line!!! OH NO!! She's collapsed! Duo is the victor!!"
Suddenly Akkiko looked up. "He is not, you *BEEP*S!!
Trowa sweatdropped. "Ladies and gentlemen . . . we may be here a while."
"Not if I can help it!" Meg burst out.
Kat sweatdropped. "My god, Meg, what have you done to your face? It looks like you've had an allergic reaction with something!"
Akkiko looked over, tiredly. "Isn't Meg allergic to that lipstick I stuck in her purse?" she stared over her shoulder for a moment, and then, eyes wide in fear, took a deep breath and started swearing again.
***
(Ten minutes later)
"OH MY GOD!!" Trowa said. "She's doing it! She's doing it! 5998, 5999! OH MY GOD!! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE HAVE A NEW WORLD RECORD!!! Six thousand swears in ONE BREATH!! But wait-she's going even further!"
***
(Another ten minutes later)
"Okay . . . look's like Akkiko is starting to wind down . . . Grand total: 7008 swears in one breath! SOME ONE CALL McGUINESS!!"
Kat sighed from where she was sitting; she and the other pilots were continuing their game of Strip Poker. "This is getting old," she said. Without thinking, she continued with. "I bet all my clothes, except for my underwear."
Heero, who had his game-face on, looked up, eyes filled with mischief. And- was that a gleam of eagerness in his eyes?
***
(Five minutes later)
"NO!!" Kat screamed. "YOU CHEATED!!"
Heero had put his cards down: a royal flush. Kat's face was completely red.
"Come on, Kat!" Akkiko said. The others had started laughing. "Fork them over!"
Kat sighed, and went behind a wall, throwing her clothes over as she took them off. "There is no way in hell," she muttered. "I am going to kill something!!"
Akkiko gulped. "Um . . . that something wouldn't be ME, would it?"
Kat's head peeked out from behind the wall. "If you get within my range- then yes!!"
Meg, who was still washing off the after-affects of the allergy-inducing makeup, felt sorry for Kat. She grabbed the clothes that Kat had won *sort of* and threw them over the wall.
"HEY!!" The GW boys said.
"Would someone help me?" Duo called *still hanging upside-down.
A minute later Kat stepped out; she was now wearing Heero's tank top, Wufei's shoes and Quatre's pants.
The boys sweatdropped. "GIVE US BACK OUR CLOTHES!!" They screamed and tackled her. Kat yelled and ran away, leaving a very confused Akkiko, Meg and Duo *who was STILL tied upside down*
Meg turned to Akkiko. Do you think we should help her?"
Akkiko shook her head. "Nah, she can handle herself."
Duo sweatdropped. "AKKIKO!! Get me the hell down from here!"
Akkiko turned to him and raised an eyebrow. "Dude, you must be desperate to ask for MY help.
Duo thought for a moment and then nodded his head wildly. "I AM desperate!"
Akkiko sighed, and went over to him. With some difficulty *her being so short* it took her a few minutes before Duo crashed to the ground headfirst. Her lay there, his eyes little X's. Meg ran over to him.
"Are you alright, Duo?' she asked in a sweet voice.
Duo popped up and edged away form. "Yes, I'm fine-if you kept away from me!!"
Meg pouted. "Boys," she muttered and stalked off.
Akkiko stared after her, perplexed. She pulled out her cell phone and hit a few buttons. "Hey, Dracee, how ya doing?"
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing. Leave me the hell alone!!