"Kat, if you don't give us back our clothes, we won't give you back yours!"
Quatre called, out a towel *that had also miraculously survived the
explosion* around his waist, since Kat was wearing his pants.
"What kind of threat is that?" Wufei asked and took a step forward, his feet bare. "Kat, come out right now and I won't chop you up with my katana."
Kat suddenly dodged out from behind a bit of half-crushed metal and grabbed Wufei's shoulders. She pressed his mouth to hers and then let him go. He melted to the ground in a puddle.
"Still got it." Kat walked past the boys, face totally expressionless. "Oh, and by the way, if you want your clothes back, give me back my *BEEP*in' clothes first!"
She ducked behind another piece of metal and threw over Heero's shirt. She in turn got her shirt back. Next were Quatre's pants and she got her jeans back. Finally there were Wufei's shoes. Quatre handed her her sneakers. Kat stared at them for a moment.
"Quatre, give me back my socks!" Kat said.
Quatre grinned. "No . . . No I don't think I will."
Akkiko walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. He jumped. "Evil demon!" he yelled.
Akkiko smiled. "Thank-you," she said. "Oh, and you really don't want Kat to go into demon mode. Give her back the socks."
Quatre hugged them close to his chest and yelled, "NNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
Meg walked up and sighed. "Why do want the socks anyways?"
Quatre rubbed his head against them. "They're *soft*."
Kat stared at him. "That . . . is so disturbing."
Akkiko sighed and pulled something from her pocket. It was a black handkerchief with a mysterious red splotch on it. She waved it at Quatre. "Give Kat back her socks and I'll give you this," she said.
Quatre stared at the handkerchief. "What is that?"
Akkiko smiled. "Just touch it."
Quatre reached for it hesitantly. Suddenly he dropped the socks and started rubbing his head against the handkerchief. Meg stared. "Akkiko . . . What did you do to the poor boy?"
Akkiko grinned. "This would be a very special silk. The material . . . is a secret."
Kat and Meg looked at each other, then at Quatre, then back to Akkiko. "*BEEP* the *BEEP*in' secret!" the yelled. "We can't have Quatre rubbing his head against the hanky all fic!"
Akkiko grinned. "Oh, no worries. Kat, put on your socks. Everyone, hold onto any loose clothing before Quatre gets his hands on it. Okay!" She went up to Quatre. "D'you know what that red spot is?" she asked. He looked at her and shook his head vigorously. Akkiko grinned. "It's blood!"
Quatre dropped the thing and ran away screaming. Akkiko laughed, and everyone backed away from her. "Where did you get blood?"
Akkiko looked at them, a maniacal gleam in her eyes. "Wouldn't YOU like to know?" The GW boys backed away and looked at Kat and Meg.
"That thing is your friend?" they asked. The girls rolled her eyes.
"Yep," they said. "Scary, isn't it?"
Suddenly alarms started going off. Everyone looked around. "Okay. . ." Trowa said, "Wasn't most of the HQ's destroyed in the explosion?"
Everyone looked at him. "YES. . ."
"And wouldn't the alarms have been destroyed, too?"
"YES. . ."
"So where are the *BEEP*in' alarm sounds coming from?"
"YES. . ."
Trowa sweatdropped. "If you aren't listening to me, say 'Yes' in a cheesy voice."
Everyone stared at him. "YES."
(A/N: That's based on a scene from Akkiko's 'Ordinary Day')
Trowa stalked off, fuming. "Stupid *BEEP*in' females that come out of no- where . . . stupid *BEEP*in' pilots. . ."
Akkiko popped up beside him. "Trowa-sweetie, you're talking to yourself again."
Trowa fainted back in an anime-fall at her entrance and then popped back up. "STOP APPEARING OUT OF NO-WHERE!!" he yelled. "IT'S ANNOYING!!"
Akkiko's eyes suddenly filled with tears and she sobbed, "You don't like me!! I'm not GOOD enough for you!" She turned away from him and started bawling.
Trowa's face went red with embarrassment. "Now wait a minute! I never said I didn't like you!"
Akkiko turned back a little, sniffing. "Then . . . then you LIKE me?!" She grabbed Trowa in a death-hug. "I'm so HAPPY!!!"
(A/N: That's kind of ripped off from Fushigi Yugi)
"Aw. . . . that is so sweet." Akkiko heard Quatre behind her. She turned and saw the GW boys and Kat and Meg standing there, staring at them.
She went completely red and pushed away from Trowa . . . so hard, in fact that Trowa went flying.
Akkiko proceeded to go into Demon mode Level 2. "ARE YOU PEOPLE SPYING ON US???" she thundered.
Everyone looked away, whistling. "Noo. . ." they said, and went on with their business.
The alarms were still going off. "Okay, that's starting to get annoying," Meg said, stuffing cotton in her ears.
"Do you want me to try and defuse it?" Kat offered. Everyone stared at her, very scared.
~flashback~
"Everyone hang on to your butts!" Kat said, and pulled a little red wire out between her fingers. "I am a trained professional . . . not!"
Akkiko leaped away and hid behind Heero. "The last time she tried to defuse a bomb, she ended up in Tibet!"
"Did not!" Kat screeched. "It was Czechoslovakia!" Kat took the pliers and put them around the red wire. Squeezing her eyes shut, she prayed.
Everyone else stared at her, then at each other, and then ducked behind Treize's chair *It was . . . all little cramped*
"Heero, you're on my head!" Akkiko screeched.
Kat, startled by the yell, accidentally clipped the blue wire. "Oops . . ." she said. KABOOM!!!!
"Oh, crap!" everyone said, and hid behind the chair. The chair protected him. Duo, however, continued to run about, screaming "My braid is on fire! My braid is on fire!"
A stumbling pile of ashes made its way towards them. "Another mission, perfectly executed!" Kat said.
Everyone glared. "PERFECTLY??"
Kat shrugged. "Well . . . almost perfectly."
~end flashback~
"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Everyone screamed, and ran away. Kat pouted.
"No one loves me," she said.
Akkiko stuck her head out from a pile of rubble. "Oh, we love you . . . we just don't trust you!"
Kat rolled her eyes. "Same *BEEP*in' thing!"
Meg stuck her head out form behind a pile of rubble. "Okay, haven't we had enough swearing?"
Akkiko glared. 'No, that's my job!"
Duo stuck his head out form you know where. "No, that's my job, you little *BEEP*."
Akkiko stuck her tongue out of him. "*BEEP* you!'
"Shut your mouth you little *BEEP*!"
Meg sighed. "Damn it, here we go again. Damn-can't swear! Damn! Damn!" (A/N: That's from one of Meg's stories)
Trowa poked his head out of-you guessed it-a pile of rubble. There was a marker being held up to his mouth. "And we're at it again, folks-Duo has one swear, Akkiko has two, Meg's at three-make that four-no, wait-five!"
Akkiko, Duo and Meg turned on him, their faced very big and scary. Lightening flashed behind them. "Shut your *BEEP*in' mouth you *BEEP*!!!"
Trowa went, 'Eep!" and dove back behind the pile of rubble. The marker spun in mid-air for a minute, and then he reached up and grabbed it.
Heero sighed. "Well . . . that was amusing."
Suddenly a large, squeaky shriek came from no-where. "HEEEEEEEERRRRROOOOO!!"
Heero swore and started tunnelling under the dirt. Akkiko grinned, and everyone stared at her, very afraid. She smiled so that all thirty-two of her teeth showed. "I've been practicing!"
Everyone did an anime fall. Heero popped up first and drew out his gun. "You die now, demon!" Suddenly a rock hit him in the back of the head. "HEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRROOOOOO!!" Heero turned back to Akkiko, very much annoyed. "Ha hah, very funny but I'm not falling for it this time."
Akkiko shrugged. "Whatever. Anyways, I didn't do it the second time."
Heero paled and was suddenly tackled form behind. A pair of arms encircled him and crushed them to a flying figure that landed on him. "Heero!! I'm so glad to see you!" Relena said.
Heero started squirming and struggling. He screamed. "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!!"
Duo didn't seem to want to touch it, and the other pilots turned away and started whistling. Meg and Akkiko looked at the two of them, then at each other.
"Wow-it's even worse when you're actually here," Meg commented.
Akkiko stared. "Did we warn Relena about Kat killing her?"
Meg burst out laughing. "Good one, Akkiko!"
Akkiko smiled. "Yeah, but seriously, do you think we should tell her?"
Silence. There was a little sound from one of the corner that sounded slightly like, 'Cricket! Cricket!'
"NNNNNAAWWW!" Meg and Akkiko said in unison and plopped down on the ground. They pulled out two bags of popcorn, once more, seemingly form No-where.
~interruption~
Lily_among_the_thorns_89: Seriously-where is this 'No-Where'?
Akkiko: Oy . . . You haven't figured it out?'
Lily_among_the_thorns_89: No. . . .
Akkiko: Good. Neither have I.
Katchild_17: Would you two pipe down! I'm about to kick Relena butt!
~end~
Kat was staring at Relena, a funny look in her eyes, her eye twitching. Relena, blissfully unaware that she was about to come face-to-face with a full-fledged demonmode, continued to glomp Heero. Suddenly she felt a clawed hand on her shoulder.
"May I speak to you for a moment, Miss Darlian?" Kat asked in a very scary voice. It sounded strange, as if she was forcing herself to be polite *note I say forced*
Relena smiled at her and let go of Heero, who scrambled out of the way. "Yes?" she said to Kat, who was growing cat's ears. The other Gundam Pilots also scrambled away, yelling "Every man for himself!"
Akkiko frowned from the sidelines. "Excuse me-there are women here too!"
Trowa poked his head out. "Excuse us-every man AND WOMAN for him OR HER self! Happy?"
Akkiko nodded. "Very much so," she said and popped some pocky into her mouth.
Meg passed her a soda, unfortunately not reading the label.
Akkiko grabbed the soda, coughing. "Thank you-I'm choking on pocky!" She threw back her head and gulped down the soda in one swallow. Too late Meg saw the label on the can.
"Uh-oh," she said.
Going back to Kat and Relena-
"Okay, missy-" Kat said. "Can we get one thing straight between you and me?"
"Yes, dear, or course," Relena said.
Kat winced. "Going to . . . die from . . . sweetness!" she muttered to herself. A little louder, she said, "Heero is mine!"
Relena's eyebrows went down. "Pardon me?" she said in a dangerous voice.
"Are you deaf, woman?! Heero is mine!"
Meg dropped her bag of popcorn on the sidelines. "Dude-Kat! Do you realize what you're confessing!?"
Kat reverted back to human-mode, realization dawning on her face. Her hands came up to her mouth and she hunched down, her eyes wide.
"Oh m'god!" she whispered. "Oh m'god oh m'god oh m'god!" Her face was completely red, and she had little sweatdropped all over the back of her head. "I cannot believe I just admitted that."
Heero stared at her. "You like me?"
Akkiko rolled her eyes and threw some popcorn at him. "It wasn't OBVIOUS enough for you Mister Perfect-Soldier? How thick can you be?"
Kat looked up at Akkiko. "Um, why are you throwing popcorn?"
Akkiko thought for a moment, and then grinned maniacally. "I don't know. I'm feeling . . . crazy today." Meg was frantically waving a can around behind her.
"Hey, Meg, what does that can say?" Kat asked, squinting. Then her eyes widened as she read the letters I-C-E-D-T-E-A. "SHIT!" Kat said and jumped about eight feet backward, landing in Heero's lap. She flushed. "Um, about that thing I said three seconds ago. . ."
"When you said, 'Heero mine!'?" Heero said, a grin on his lips.
"Uh . . . yeah," Kat continued to blush when lightening flashed around them and Relena's face was pushed between theirs.
"Get-away-from-my-Heero!" Relena thundered, and her hands latched themselves around Kat's throat. She proceeded to choke her.
"Akkiko!" Kat gasped as Relena shook her around like a chew-toy. "Do- something!"
Akkiko had stopped throwing popcorn at Heero and was now throwing it at Meg, and it was bouncing off her forehead. Needless to say, there was a twitching vein in Meg's forehead.
"Like what?" Akkiko said innocently, continuing to throw popcorn at Meg.
"ANYTHING!" Kat yelled, her face blue.
Akkiko grinned and . . . . started throwing popcorn at Relena. Kat and Relena sweatdropped.
"That's IT?" Kat asked. "You're not going to go all demon-mode on her??"
Akkiko smiled and continued throwing. "No, this is so much more amusing," she said, giggling (A/N: I'm not sure if Akkiko is scientifically able to giggle, but for entertainment's she IS!)
Relena stared at Akkiko, little blue lines under one eye. "What is she, like two years old?" she asked.
It was THEN that Akkiko grew Demon's horns and cat ears, and a tail and . . . . Yeah, you get it. "I am not two!" she said slowly. "I am fourteen!"
Relena rolled her eyes. "Well," she started in a snobby voice. "With the way you're acting, that information surprises me greatly."
Akkiko growled, and started to walk forward hands outstretched. Then she stopped and began to think . . . for once in her life. Then she grinned maniacally and walked up to Heero and kissed him on the lips. Relena's mouth dropped open, totally shocked. Then she closed it and fire suddenly burst up behind her.
"Heero is MINE!!" she said.
Akkiko turned and continued to grin manically. Heero touched his head. "Is the room spinning?" he asked.
Akkiko smiled, satisfied. "Let's see a two-year-old do THAT!" she said and walked off cackling.
Kat glared after her. "Hey, why did you have to kiss MY guy?"
Everyone stared at her. "YOUR guy?"
Once again, realization dawned on Kat's face. She flushed and hunched down again. "I did not say that I did not say that I did not say that!!!" she screamed to herself.
Akkiko grinned. "Yes you did!"
Meg grinned also. "Yes you did!"
The both grinned. "Yes you did yes you did yes you did!" They began throwing popcorn at Kat, singing,
"Kat and Heero sitting in a tree-
K-I-S-S-I-N-ACK!!"
Akkiko and Meg suddenly shot eighteen feet in the air, as Kat blew out a match. She grinned. "Thanks for letting me borrow the rockets, Duo!"
Duo threw her a thumbs-up. "No problem!"
Meg and Akkiko continued to fly through the air until-BANG!!-they crashed into the ceiling.
Akkiko sighed. "Damn low ceiling," she mumbled, and they pried their heads from the steel.
Heero tugged the front of Duo's shirt until their faces were only an inch apart. "You gave an insane teenage girl explosives?"
Duo shrugged. "Hey, I work with them every day."
Heero stopped for a moment. "Good point." He let go of Duo's shirt and pulled out his gun. "I think I'll do the world a favour." He aimed and clicked the safety off.
Duo went pale. "Uh . . . help?" he said meekly.
Meg suddenly crashed down on top of Heero. Duo looked up. "Someone up there likes me!" he said, and, snatching Meg up, ran away.
Meg rubbed her head. "Oooh, what did I hit?" she asked, dazed.
"Um, Heero's head!" Duo said. "You saved my life!" He set Meg down.
"Oh?" Meg blinked, trying to focus her eyes. "Nice, but . . . do you have some Advil on you?"
Duo grinned and kissed her. Meg melted into a puddle. "How's that?"
Meg solidified. "My headache is totally gone." She grinned. "Thanks, Duo."
Duo shrugged. "Hey, you saved my life! A kiss seems like a very small price to pay in exchange for not being killed my Heero Yuy."
Akkiko, in the meantime, had also crashed down from the ceiling and landed on Relena. "Get off of me!" she was screeching.
Akkiko sat up. "Aw, shut up, ya onna from hell!"
Wufei looked over at her. "Stop using my insults, kisamaa!"
Akkiko's eyes narrowed. "Shut up you ponytail'd *BEEP!*" she said.
Trowa (still kind of hiding behind one of the many piles of rubble) smelled another swearing contest coming on, and pulled out his marker again. Quatre suddenly toddled back, carrying a box of cookies.
"Hey, guys, want some cookies?" he asked. Akkiko perked up and dived for the elements of sugar.
Meg and Duo also came over, and each took one. Soon the box was passed around and everyone was contentedly munching on cookies. And so, for a few minutes at least, world war was prevented.
"Hey, Quatre, where did you find these?" Duo asked.
"In the kitchen. We didn't blow up as much of the headquarters as we thought." Quatre took another bite of cookie. Being dumber than the average human, he did not notice the label on the box. It read: Caution. 100% sugar. Do not feed to: mercenary pilots of giant machines of death, demons, sorceresses, crazy ladies, or weird little were-kat things.
Meg grabbed the box for another cookie. She spotted the label. "Uh-oh. . ." she said, and beckoned Kat and Akkiko over. "Look at this."
Kat took the box. "Do not feed to: mercenary pilots of giant machines of death." The girls looked up at the Gundam pilots. It may have been just them, but the boys were looking a bit . . . suicidal-ish.
Akkiko continued. "Demons-well, you're all screwed now-sorceresses-Meg, how many have you had?"
"This is my second one!" Meg said. She took the box again. "Crazy ladies- where's Relena?"
The girls looked around and spotted Relena eating you-know-what. Meg continued. "And weird little were-Kat thingies."
Kat sweatdropped. "Who manufactures this stuff?" she said. "That's just creepy."
Heero suddenly stood up. "Okay, girls, we're leaving!" He said.
"Um . . . where are we going?" Akkiko asked, half-afraid to hear the answer.
"I don't know . . . somewhere where we can cause mass destruction."
"YES!" Duo jumped up as well. "Bring on the Mobile Dolls! I'll bring the dynamite!"
Everyone stood except Relena, who was now in a sugar-high stupor. "Let's just leave her," Trowa whispered. "She'll be okay."
Everyone started to leave the destroyed headquarters, but. . .
"Meg! Come on!" Akkiko yelled over her shoulder.
"Let me finish my cookie, dammit!" Meg said, still munching.
Trowa rolled his eyes. "She is obsessed with the cookie," he said.
Meg bounced up to them. "The cookie rules all!" she said.
Kat looked confused. "But we always say, 'all hail the muffin'."
"What's with all the pastry?" Akkiko yelled, pulling at her hair.
Heero, Wufei, and Trowa, turned to them, lightening flashing behind them (Quatre and Duo were in Sugar-mode, bouncing around near their Gundams).
"Would you three stop fooling around?" the four pilots yelled. Meg, Kat and Akkiko sweatdropped.
"Us? Stop fooling around?" they looked at each other. "WHAT IS THIS WOLD COMING TO??" They all hunched down, thoroughly scarred.
The pilots sighed, and turned to each other. "What have we brought into this world?" they asked.
Duo bounced up. "From what they tell us, we've brought: a were-Kat, a demon, and a sorceress."
The pilots sweatdropped. "Gee, thanks Duo."
Akkiko popped up again and threw her around Trowa. "I feel so lost!" she wailed, tears trickling out her eyes.
Trowa looked at her awkwardly. "Uh. . ." he said, looking over at the other pilots, frantically gesturing, "what do I do?'
Duo gulped. "Don't look at me-I'm not equipped to deal with crying girls!" (A/N: Inspired by Inu-yasha!) He ran off.
Heero gulped. "I didn't get any training for this!" he yelped and ran off after Duo.
Trowa turned to Quatre, the most sensitive of the bunch. He gestured 'What do I do what do I do??" Akkiko had continued to cry, making his shirt wetter and wetter.
Quatre shrugged. "I don't know how to act around girls." He walked off towards Sandrock.
Trowa looked at Wufei, who scowled. "Don't even ask!"
Kat and Meg sidled up beside the frantic youth. "Ahem," they said. "You might want to try showing some compassion. Works every time."
Trowa blinked once, twice, three times. He sighed and patted Akkiko's back awkwardly. "It's okay," he said.
Akkiko looked up at him. "You don't think I'm weak, do you?"
"Uh. . . . . . . . No."
Akkiko grinned. "Thank you!" she squeezed him around the waist and let go, walking away calmly.
Meg turned to Kat. "The sugar is beginning to set in."
"Ya don't say." Kat thought for a moment. "Wait a minute-didn't she have iced tea earlier? What's going to happen now that she has that and 100% sugar cookies in her system?"
Meg took a moment to picture this, then hunched down again, a giant sweatdrop on her head. "Thank-you Kat! Now I have to go wash my brain out!"
Kat grinned. "You're welcome."
Relena toddled out from the HQs. "Excuse me, can I have a ride?" she asked pleasantly.
Everyone blanched. "RUN FOR IT!!" they screamed, and dove for the Gundams. Once the pilots were in their respective suits (and our heroines were on the heads of their respective suits), they took off, leaving Relena stranded (A/N: Yes I am evil. Akkiko: No! This is a good thing! Kat: GET THE HELL OUT OF MY AUTHOR'S NOTE! THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING!! Akkiko: Eep!)
Relena sighed. Suddenly Zechs came out from a pile of rubble, rubbing his eyes.
"Did I miss anything?" he yawned.
Relena smiled. "Milliardo!"
Zechs's eyes flew open, staring disbelievingly at his sister. Then he began screaming and ran away.
Relena pouted. "Every single time," she said. She pulled out her cell phone. Punching in a number, she spoke into it. "Hi, Dorothy. . ."
(A/N: BWAHAHAHA!!! Blast me and my cliff-hangers! I am the ruler of all!
Akkiko: (sweatdropping) Uh, Kat? Chill.
Kat: Sorry-I'm hyper! I just watched Inu-yasha!
Akkiko: Yeah, yeah-but tone it down-you're scaring me!)
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing-especially Relena!
Relena: I feel so unloved!!
Kat: Yeah . . . whatever.
"What kind of threat is that?" Wufei asked and took a step forward, his feet bare. "Kat, come out right now and I won't chop you up with my katana."
Kat suddenly dodged out from behind a bit of half-crushed metal and grabbed Wufei's shoulders. She pressed his mouth to hers and then let him go. He melted to the ground in a puddle.
"Still got it." Kat walked past the boys, face totally expressionless. "Oh, and by the way, if you want your clothes back, give me back my *BEEP*in' clothes first!"
She ducked behind another piece of metal and threw over Heero's shirt. She in turn got her shirt back. Next were Quatre's pants and she got her jeans back. Finally there were Wufei's shoes. Quatre handed her her sneakers. Kat stared at them for a moment.
"Quatre, give me back my socks!" Kat said.
Quatre grinned. "No . . . No I don't think I will."
Akkiko walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. He jumped. "Evil demon!" he yelled.
Akkiko smiled. "Thank-you," she said. "Oh, and you really don't want Kat to go into demon mode. Give her back the socks."
Quatre hugged them close to his chest and yelled, "NNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
Meg walked up and sighed. "Why do want the socks anyways?"
Quatre rubbed his head against them. "They're *soft*."
Kat stared at him. "That . . . is so disturbing."
Akkiko sighed and pulled something from her pocket. It was a black handkerchief with a mysterious red splotch on it. She waved it at Quatre. "Give Kat back her socks and I'll give you this," she said.
Quatre stared at the handkerchief. "What is that?"
Akkiko smiled. "Just touch it."
Quatre reached for it hesitantly. Suddenly he dropped the socks and started rubbing his head against the handkerchief. Meg stared. "Akkiko . . . What did you do to the poor boy?"
Akkiko grinned. "This would be a very special silk. The material . . . is a secret."
Kat and Meg looked at each other, then at Quatre, then back to Akkiko. "*BEEP* the *BEEP*in' secret!" the yelled. "We can't have Quatre rubbing his head against the hanky all fic!"
Akkiko grinned. "Oh, no worries. Kat, put on your socks. Everyone, hold onto any loose clothing before Quatre gets his hands on it. Okay!" She went up to Quatre. "D'you know what that red spot is?" she asked. He looked at her and shook his head vigorously. Akkiko grinned. "It's blood!"
Quatre dropped the thing and ran away screaming. Akkiko laughed, and everyone backed away from her. "Where did you get blood?"
Akkiko looked at them, a maniacal gleam in her eyes. "Wouldn't YOU like to know?" The GW boys backed away and looked at Kat and Meg.
"That thing is your friend?" they asked. The girls rolled her eyes.
"Yep," they said. "Scary, isn't it?"
Suddenly alarms started going off. Everyone looked around. "Okay. . ." Trowa said, "Wasn't most of the HQ's destroyed in the explosion?"
Everyone looked at him. "YES. . ."
"And wouldn't the alarms have been destroyed, too?"
"YES. . ."
"So where are the *BEEP*in' alarm sounds coming from?"
"YES. . ."
Trowa sweatdropped. "If you aren't listening to me, say 'Yes' in a cheesy voice."
Everyone stared at him. "YES."
(A/N: That's based on a scene from Akkiko's 'Ordinary Day')
Trowa stalked off, fuming. "Stupid *BEEP*in' females that come out of no- where . . . stupid *BEEP*in' pilots. . ."
Akkiko popped up beside him. "Trowa-sweetie, you're talking to yourself again."
Trowa fainted back in an anime-fall at her entrance and then popped back up. "STOP APPEARING OUT OF NO-WHERE!!" he yelled. "IT'S ANNOYING!!"
Akkiko's eyes suddenly filled with tears and she sobbed, "You don't like me!! I'm not GOOD enough for you!" She turned away from him and started bawling.
Trowa's face went red with embarrassment. "Now wait a minute! I never said I didn't like you!"
Akkiko turned back a little, sniffing. "Then . . . then you LIKE me?!" She grabbed Trowa in a death-hug. "I'm so HAPPY!!!"
(A/N: That's kind of ripped off from Fushigi Yugi)
"Aw. . . . that is so sweet." Akkiko heard Quatre behind her. She turned and saw the GW boys and Kat and Meg standing there, staring at them.
She went completely red and pushed away from Trowa . . . so hard, in fact that Trowa went flying.
Akkiko proceeded to go into Demon mode Level 2. "ARE YOU PEOPLE SPYING ON US???" she thundered.
Everyone looked away, whistling. "Noo. . ." they said, and went on with their business.
The alarms were still going off. "Okay, that's starting to get annoying," Meg said, stuffing cotton in her ears.
"Do you want me to try and defuse it?" Kat offered. Everyone stared at her, very scared.
~flashback~
"Everyone hang on to your butts!" Kat said, and pulled a little red wire out between her fingers. "I am a trained professional . . . not!"
Akkiko leaped away and hid behind Heero. "The last time she tried to defuse a bomb, she ended up in Tibet!"
"Did not!" Kat screeched. "It was Czechoslovakia!" Kat took the pliers and put them around the red wire. Squeezing her eyes shut, she prayed.
Everyone else stared at her, then at each other, and then ducked behind Treize's chair *It was . . . all little cramped*
"Heero, you're on my head!" Akkiko screeched.
Kat, startled by the yell, accidentally clipped the blue wire. "Oops . . ." she said. KABOOM!!!!
"Oh, crap!" everyone said, and hid behind the chair. The chair protected him. Duo, however, continued to run about, screaming "My braid is on fire! My braid is on fire!"
A stumbling pile of ashes made its way towards them. "Another mission, perfectly executed!" Kat said.
Everyone glared. "PERFECTLY??"
Kat shrugged. "Well . . . almost perfectly."
~end flashback~
"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Everyone screamed, and ran away. Kat pouted.
"No one loves me," she said.
Akkiko stuck her head out from a pile of rubble. "Oh, we love you . . . we just don't trust you!"
Kat rolled her eyes. "Same *BEEP*in' thing!"
Meg stuck her head out form behind a pile of rubble. "Okay, haven't we had enough swearing?"
Akkiko glared. 'No, that's my job!"
Duo stuck his head out form you know where. "No, that's my job, you little *BEEP*."
Akkiko stuck her tongue out of him. "*BEEP* you!'
"Shut your mouth you little *BEEP*!"
Meg sighed. "Damn it, here we go again. Damn-can't swear! Damn! Damn!" (A/N: That's from one of Meg's stories)
Trowa poked his head out of-you guessed it-a pile of rubble. There was a marker being held up to his mouth. "And we're at it again, folks-Duo has one swear, Akkiko has two, Meg's at three-make that four-no, wait-five!"
Akkiko, Duo and Meg turned on him, their faced very big and scary. Lightening flashed behind them. "Shut your *BEEP*in' mouth you *BEEP*!!!"
Trowa went, 'Eep!" and dove back behind the pile of rubble. The marker spun in mid-air for a minute, and then he reached up and grabbed it.
Heero sighed. "Well . . . that was amusing."
Suddenly a large, squeaky shriek came from no-where. "HEEEEEEEERRRRROOOOO!!"
Heero swore and started tunnelling under the dirt. Akkiko grinned, and everyone stared at her, very afraid. She smiled so that all thirty-two of her teeth showed. "I've been practicing!"
Everyone did an anime fall. Heero popped up first and drew out his gun. "You die now, demon!" Suddenly a rock hit him in the back of the head. "HEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRROOOOOO!!" Heero turned back to Akkiko, very much annoyed. "Ha hah, very funny but I'm not falling for it this time."
Akkiko shrugged. "Whatever. Anyways, I didn't do it the second time."
Heero paled and was suddenly tackled form behind. A pair of arms encircled him and crushed them to a flying figure that landed on him. "Heero!! I'm so glad to see you!" Relena said.
Heero started squirming and struggling. He screamed. "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!!"
Duo didn't seem to want to touch it, and the other pilots turned away and started whistling. Meg and Akkiko looked at the two of them, then at each other.
"Wow-it's even worse when you're actually here," Meg commented.
Akkiko stared. "Did we warn Relena about Kat killing her?"
Meg burst out laughing. "Good one, Akkiko!"
Akkiko smiled. "Yeah, but seriously, do you think we should tell her?"
Silence. There was a little sound from one of the corner that sounded slightly like, 'Cricket! Cricket!'
"NNNNNAAWWW!" Meg and Akkiko said in unison and plopped down on the ground. They pulled out two bags of popcorn, once more, seemingly form No-where.
~interruption~
Lily_among_the_thorns_89: Seriously-where is this 'No-Where'?
Akkiko: Oy . . . You haven't figured it out?'
Lily_among_the_thorns_89: No. . . .
Akkiko: Good. Neither have I.
Katchild_17: Would you two pipe down! I'm about to kick Relena butt!
~end~
Kat was staring at Relena, a funny look in her eyes, her eye twitching. Relena, blissfully unaware that she was about to come face-to-face with a full-fledged demonmode, continued to glomp Heero. Suddenly she felt a clawed hand on her shoulder.
"May I speak to you for a moment, Miss Darlian?" Kat asked in a very scary voice. It sounded strange, as if she was forcing herself to be polite *note I say forced*
Relena smiled at her and let go of Heero, who scrambled out of the way. "Yes?" she said to Kat, who was growing cat's ears. The other Gundam Pilots also scrambled away, yelling "Every man for himself!"
Akkiko frowned from the sidelines. "Excuse me-there are women here too!"
Trowa poked his head out. "Excuse us-every man AND WOMAN for him OR HER self! Happy?"
Akkiko nodded. "Very much so," she said and popped some pocky into her mouth.
Meg passed her a soda, unfortunately not reading the label.
Akkiko grabbed the soda, coughing. "Thank you-I'm choking on pocky!" She threw back her head and gulped down the soda in one swallow. Too late Meg saw the label on the can.
"Uh-oh," she said.
Going back to Kat and Relena-
"Okay, missy-" Kat said. "Can we get one thing straight between you and me?"
"Yes, dear, or course," Relena said.
Kat winced. "Going to . . . die from . . . sweetness!" she muttered to herself. A little louder, she said, "Heero is mine!"
Relena's eyebrows went down. "Pardon me?" she said in a dangerous voice.
"Are you deaf, woman?! Heero is mine!"
Meg dropped her bag of popcorn on the sidelines. "Dude-Kat! Do you realize what you're confessing!?"
Kat reverted back to human-mode, realization dawning on her face. Her hands came up to her mouth and she hunched down, her eyes wide.
"Oh m'god!" she whispered. "Oh m'god oh m'god oh m'god!" Her face was completely red, and she had little sweatdropped all over the back of her head. "I cannot believe I just admitted that."
Heero stared at her. "You like me?"
Akkiko rolled her eyes and threw some popcorn at him. "It wasn't OBVIOUS enough for you Mister Perfect-Soldier? How thick can you be?"
Kat looked up at Akkiko. "Um, why are you throwing popcorn?"
Akkiko thought for a moment, and then grinned maniacally. "I don't know. I'm feeling . . . crazy today." Meg was frantically waving a can around behind her.
"Hey, Meg, what does that can say?" Kat asked, squinting. Then her eyes widened as she read the letters I-C-E-D-T-E-A. "SHIT!" Kat said and jumped about eight feet backward, landing in Heero's lap. She flushed. "Um, about that thing I said three seconds ago. . ."
"When you said, 'Heero mine!'?" Heero said, a grin on his lips.
"Uh . . . yeah," Kat continued to blush when lightening flashed around them and Relena's face was pushed between theirs.
"Get-away-from-my-Heero!" Relena thundered, and her hands latched themselves around Kat's throat. She proceeded to choke her.
"Akkiko!" Kat gasped as Relena shook her around like a chew-toy. "Do- something!"
Akkiko had stopped throwing popcorn at Heero and was now throwing it at Meg, and it was bouncing off her forehead. Needless to say, there was a twitching vein in Meg's forehead.
"Like what?" Akkiko said innocently, continuing to throw popcorn at Meg.
"ANYTHING!" Kat yelled, her face blue.
Akkiko grinned and . . . . started throwing popcorn at Relena. Kat and Relena sweatdropped.
"That's IT?" Kat asked. "You're not going to go all demon-mode on her??"
Akkiko smiled and continued throwing. "No, this is so much more amusing," she said, giggling (A/N: I'm not sure if Akkiko is scientifically able to giggle, but for entertainment's she IS!)
Relena stared at Akkiko, little blue lines under one eye. "What is she, like two years old?" she asked.
It was THEN that Akkiko grew Demon's horns and cat ears, and a tail and . . . . Yeah, you get it. "I am not two!" she said slowly. "I am fourteen!"
Relena rolled her eyes. "Well," she started in a snobby voice. "With the way you're acting, that information surprises me greatly."
Akkiko growled, and started to walk forward hands outstretched. Then she stopped and began to think . . . for once in her life. Then she grinned maniacally and walked up to Heero and kissed him on the lips. Relena's mouth dropped open, totally shocked. Then she closed it and fire suddenly burst up behind her.
"Heero is MINE!!" she said.
Akkiko turned and continued to grin manically. Heero touched his head. "Is the room spinning?" he asked.
Akkiko smiled, satisfied. "Let's see a two-year-old do THAT!" she said and walked off cackling.
Kat glared after her. "Hey, why did you have to kiss MY guy?"
Everyone stared at her. "YOUR guy?"
Once again, realization dawned on Kat's face. She flushed and hunched down again. "I did not say that I did not say that I did not say that!!!" she screamed to herself.
Akkiko grinned. "Yes you did!"
Meg grinned also. "Yes you did!"
The both grinned. "Yes you did yes you did yes you did!" They began throwing popcorn at Kat, singing,
"Kat and Heero sitting in a tree-
K-I-S-S-I-N-ACK!!"
Akkiko and Meg suddenly shot eighteen feet in the air, as Kat blew out a match. She grinned. "Thanks for letting me borrow the rockets, Duo!"
Duo threw her a thumbs-up. "No problem!"
Meg and Akkiko continued to fly through the air until-BANG!!-they crashed into the ceiling.
Akkiko sighed. "Damn low ceiling," she mumbled, and they pried their heads from the steel.
Heero tugged the front of Duo's shirt until their faces were only an inch apart. "You gave an insane teenage girl explosives?"
Duo shrugged. "Hey, I work with them every day."
Heero stopped for a moment. "Good point." He let go of Duo's shirt and pulled out his gun. "I think I'll do the world a favour." He aimed and clicked the safety off.
Duo went pale. "Uh . . . help?" he said meekly.
Meg suddenly crashed down on top of Heero. Duo looked up. "Someone up there likes me!" he said, and, snatching Meg up, ran away.
Meg rubbed her head. "Oooh, what did I hit?" she asked, dazed.
"Um, Heero's head!" Duo said. "You saved my life!" He set Meg down.
"Oh?" Meg blinked, trying to focus her eyes. "Nice, but . . . do you have some Advil on you?"
Duo grinned and kissed her. Meg melted into a puddle. "How's that?"
Meg solidified. "My headache is totally gone." She grinned. "Thanks, Duo."
Duo shrugged. "Hey, you saved my life! A kiss seems like a very small price to pay in exchange for not being killed my Heero Yuy."
Akkiko, in the meantime, had also crashed down from the ceiling and landed on Relena. "Get off of me!" she was screeching.
Akkiko sat up. "Aw, shut up, ya onna from hell!"
Wufei looked over at her. "Stop using my insults, kisamaa!"
Akkiko's eyes narrowed. "Shut up you ponytail'd *BEEP!*" she said.
Trowa (still kind of hiding behind one of the many piles of rubble) smelled another swearing contest coming on, and pulled out his marker again. Quatre suddenly toddled back, carrying a box of cookies.
"Hey, guys, want some cookies?" he asked. Akkiko perked up and dived for the elements of sugar.
Meg and Duo also came over, and each took one. Soon the box was passed around and everyone was contentedly munching on cookies. And so, for a few minutes at least, world war was prevented.
"Hey, Quatre, where did you find these?" Duo asked.
"In the kitchen. We didn't blow up as much of the headquarters as we thought." Quatre took another bite of cookie. Being dumber than the average human, he did not notice the label on the box. It read: Caution. 100% sugar. Do not feed to: mercenary pilots of giant machines of death, demons, sorceresses, crazy ladies, or weird little were-kat things.
Meg grabbed the box for another cookie. She spotted the label. "Uh-oh. . ." she said, and beckoned Kat and Akkiko over. "Look at this."
Kat took the box. "Do not feed to: mercenary pilots of giant machines of death." The girls looked up at the Gundam pilots. It may have been just them, but the boys were looking a bit . . . suicidal-ish.
Akkiko continued. "Demons-well, you're all screwed now-sorceresses-Meg, how many have you had?"
"This is my second one!" Meg said. She took the box again. "Crazy ladies- where's Relena?"
The girls looked around and spotted Relena eating you-know-what. Meg continued. "And weird little were-Kat thingies."
Kat sweatdropped. "Who manufactures this stuff?" she said. "That's just creepy."
Heero suddenly stood up. "Okay, girls, we're leaving!" He said.
"Um . . . where are we going?" Akkiko asked, half-afraid to hear the answer.
"I don't know . . . somewhere where we can cause mass destruction."
"YES!" Duo jumped up as well. "Bring on the Mobile Dolls! I'll bring the dynamite!"
Everyone stood except Relena, who was now in a sugar-high stupor. "Let's just leave her," Trowa whispered. "She'll be okay."
Everyone started to leave the destroyed headquarters, but. . .
"Meg! Come on!" Akkiko yelled over her shoulder.
"Let me finish my cookie, dammit!" Meg said, still munching.
Trowa rolled his eyes. "She is obsessed with the cookie," he said.
Meg bounced up to them. "The cookie rules all!" she said.
Kat looked confused. "But we always say, 'all hail the muffin'."
"What's with all the pastry?" Akkiko yelled, pulling at her hair.
Heero, Wufei, and Trowa, turned to them, lightening flashing behind them (Quatre and Duo were in Sugar-mode, bouncing around near their Gundams).
"Would you three stop fooling around?" the four pilots yelled. Meg, Kat and Akkiko sweatdropped.
"Us? Stop fooling around?" they looked at each other. "WHAT IS THIS WOLD COMING TO??" They all hunched down, thoroughly scarred.
The pilots sighed, and turned to each other. "What have we brought into this world?" they asked.
Duo bounced up. "From what they tell us, we've brought: a were-Kat, a demon, and a sorceress."
The pilots sweatdropped. "Gee, thanks Duo."
Akkiko popped up again and threw her around Trowa. "I feel so lost!" she wailed, tears trickling out her eyes.
Trowa looked at her awkwardly. "Uh. . ." he said, looking over at the other pilots, frantically gesturing, "what do I do?'
Duo gulped. "Don't look at me-I'm not equipped to deal with crying girls!" (A/N: Inspired by Inu-yasha!) He ran off.
Heero gulped. "I didn't get any training for this!" he yelped and ran off after Duo.
Trowa turned to Quatre, the most sensitive of the bunch. He gestured 'What do I do what do I do??" Akkiko had continued to cry, making his shirt wetter and wetter.
Quatre shrugged. "I don't know how to act around girls." He walked off towards Sandrock.
Trowa looked at Wufei, who scowled. "Don't even ask!"
Kat and Meg sidled up beside the frantic youth. "Ahem," they said. "You might want to try showing some compassion. Works every time."
Trowa blinked once, twice, three times. He sighed and patted Akkiko's back awkwardly. "It's okay," he said.
Akkiko looked up at him. "You don't think I'm weak, do you?"
"Uh. . . . . . . . No."
Akkiko grinned. "Thank you!" she squeezed him around the waist and let go, walking away calmly.
Meg turned to Kat. "The sugar is beginning to set in."
"Ya don't say." Kat thought for a moment. "Wait a minute-didn't she have iced tea earlier? What's going to happen now that she has that and 100% sugar cookies in her system?"
Meg took a moment to picture this, then hunched down again, a giant sweatdrop on her head. "Thank-you Kat! Now I have to go wash my brain out!"
Kat grinned. "You're welcome."
Relena toddled out from the HQs. "Excuse me, can I have a ride?" she asked pleasantly.
Everyone blanched. "RUN FOR IT!!" they screamed, and dove for the Gundams. Once the pilots were in their respective suits (and our heroines were on the heads of their respective suits), they took off, leaving Relena stranded (A/N: Yes I am evil. Akkiko: No! This is a good thing! Kat: GET THE HELL OUT OF MY AUTHOR'S NOTE! THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING!! Akkiko: Eep!)
Relena sighed. Suddenly Zechs came out from a pile of rubble, rubbing his eyes.
"Did I miss anything?" he yawned.
Relena smiled. "Milliardo!"
Zechs's eyes flew open, staring disbelievingly at his sister. Then he began screaming and ran away.
Relena pouted. "Every single time," she said. She pulled out her cell phone. Punching in a number, she spoke into it. "Hi, Dorothy. . ."
(A/N: BWAHAHAHA!!! Blast me and my cliff-hangers! I am the ruler of all!
Akkiko: (sweatdropping) Uh, Kat? Chill.
Kat: Sorry-I'm hyper! I just watched Inu-yasha!
Akkiko: Yeah, yeah-but tone it down-you're scaring me!)
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing-especially Relena!
Relena: I feel so unloved!!
Kat: Yeah . . . whatever.