Chapter 15: Congratulations, Watson, on your almost Freudian brilliance
The first year Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws, already accustomed to Snape's style of teaching, slowly crept into the Potions classroom, as though none of them wanted to be first. Snape grimaced as he watched the tiny robed figures nearly fight for the places in the back of the classroom. When they had finally settled down, he gave them a lengthy stare, cleared his throat and began.
"Firstly, I want you all to take your wand from your pants.....I mean, robes." He coughed. Where did that come from? "You will need it to stick into....I mean, harden the...No, poke....you will need it to light my....no, THE fire."
He paused, closed his eyes for a few moments, and sighed. The class were looking at him, puzzled expressions on their little faces.
"Then each of you will get a knob,....no, knife from the cupboard over there...." He pointed his wand at the cupboard and the doors flew open. He cursed himself, but decided to act like nothing out of the ordinary had happened. "....and your ingredients from over there...and there..... Then chop up the penis...I mean, roots, put them into the....." it took him a while to avoid the word that kept popping up in his mind and say ".....cauldron. Then add some jizz....I mean, pixie dust...."
He looked up, and saw that nearly the entire class was trying very hard not to laugh. "As the upcoming part of the penetration.....I mean, preparation, is very hard..... difficult, and most of you are so mentally challenged, it will require your undivided detention...I mean, attention..."
He sighed again, then simply gave up, and walked out of the classroom, telling himself that he had been spending far too much time in the company of Lucius Malfoy.
The first year Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws, already accustomed to Snape's style of teaching, slowly crept into the Potions classroom, as though none of them wanted to be first. Snape grimaced as he watched the tiny robed figures nearly fight for the places in the back of the classroom. When they had finally settled down, he gave them a lengthy stare, cleared his throat and began.
"Firstly, I want you all to take your wand from your pants.....I mean, robes." He coughed. Where did that come from? "You will need it to stick into....I mean, harden the...No, poke....you will need it to light my....no, THE fire."
He paused, closed his eyes for a few moments, and sighed. The class were looking at him, puzzled expressions on their little faces.
"Then each of you will get a knob,....no, knife from the cupboard over there...." He pointed his wand at the cupboard and the doors flew open. He cursed himself, but decided to act like nothing out of the ordinary had happened. "....and your ingredients from over there...and there..... Then chop up the penis...I mean, roots, put them into the....." it took him a while to avoid the word that kept popping up in his mind and say ".....cauldron. Then add some jizz....I mean, pixie dust...."
He looked up, and saw that nearly the entire class was trying very hard not to laugh. "As the upcoming part of the penetration.....I mean, preparation, is very hard..... difficult, and most of you are so mentally challenged, it will require your undivided detention...I mean, attention..."
He sighed again, then simply gave up, and walked out of the classroom, telling himself that he had been spending far too much time in the company of Lucius Malfoy.