Disclaimer: Still not mine.
Chapter Five: To be or not to be
Ginny was in heaven. She had kissed Harry. She had actually done it. And he had kissed her back.
Life was perfect.
Harry wandered the halls in a slight daze. He wasn't quite sure were he was going until he ended up in the Room of Requirements. A cozy chair and bright orange fire greeted him. He just needed a place to think. Something was just off. He could feel it.
Maybe off wasn't what he meant, but something was nagging at him and he wanted to think through it.
It started with her hair. She had such gorgeous hair. It was that bright red that you just couldn't miss. Since she had grown it out, he had noticed it even more. Now it was just like liquid fire that gave her this aura.
Then there was her voice. Her voice was so many things. He would never want to hear her voice in anger, especially at himself. She could be as scary as her mum. But she was usually soft spoken, sweet and gentle. She could be on either end of the spectrum or anywhere in between.
And of course, there were her lips, her beautiful, soft lips. Her lips that smiled so often and brightened everything around her. Her lips that he had kissed.
There was more too. There is so much to Ginny that Harry could barely comprehend it all.
And he didn't want her to suffer because of him. And let's face it, his life pretty much sucks. If he kept seeing her, she would only suffer.
It so worried Harry that he reached a decision, he had to stop whatever was happening between him and Ginny before she got hurt.
It did have anything do with the fact that he was afraid of getting hurt himself. Really, it didn't.
It had been a week since the kiss. At first, Ginny thought it was just rotten luck that she never saw Harry. They both had different classes and a lot of work to keep them busy. It was perfectly natural that they would miss each other.
It was in Quidditch practice nearly a full week later that she noticed something was really wrong. He wasn't looking at her and when he did he it was with a slightly pinched expression.
He had even resorted to calling her 'Weasley.' The entire team had noticed that. Ron had actually winced when he heard.
"What the hell did you do to him?" her brother asked flying next to her.
"Nothing," Ginny said.
Ron just gave her a hard look.
"Okay, so I did something, but it's between me and him."
"Alright, then," Ron said. "But, maybe, you had better talk to him."
"Yeah, thanks for that, Mater of the Obvious!"
"Hey, I'm just trying to help," Ron defended himself and turned back to his place between the goals.
Practice was just miserable after that. Harry snapped at everyone and worked the team into the ground, literally in Ginny's case.
Ginny had been staring at Harry when she lost her balance and could barely hold into her broom. She managed to hedge her fall but the impact was still going to hurt quite a bit. With just two feet to the hard ground of the pitch, Ginny felt an arm grab her around the waist and pull. Her broom clattered loudly as hit the ground.
"Jesus, Gin! What the hell was that?" Harry practically shouted in her ear.
"I, I fell," she said biting back tears.
"I could see that! Gah, that's it, practice over!" Harry shouted. "Everyone hit the showers. Just get the hell out of here!"
"You alright, Ginny," Ron asked as he landed next to his sister.
Ginny nodded. "He caught me."
"Well at least he hasn't gone completely mental," Ron said. "He's been a right arse hole all week. It's as bad as it was last year."
"It is my fault then," Ginny whispered.
"Don't be daft, Ginny. Harry just gets into these moods. He'll come around."
"He won't," Ginny said. "I've ruined our friendship, Ron. I, I pushed things too far in that broom cupboard."
The older brother in Ron couldn't help asking, "How far?"
"I should never have kissed him."
"Did he kiss you back?"
"Well, yes, but..."
Ron held up his hands to stop her. "He kissed you back, Ginny. It's as much on him as it is on you. Knowing Harry, he's brooding about the people he loves being hurt or killed and doesn't want that to happen to you."
Ginny blushed at the use of the word 'love,' especially coming from her brother. "But I started it."
"Yes, and Harry's being a right prat now. That is not your fault."
"Do you still think I should talk to him, then?" Ginny asked this strangely insightful version of her brother.
"That's up to you, sis. Although if he keeps being an arse to you, he doesn't deserve you as much as I thought."
Ginny smiled and tiptoed to kiss her brother in the cheek. "Thanks, Ron."
"I'm just telling it like it is," Ron shrugged.
Harry turned up his headphones as loud as he could to block out the world around him. He just couldn't deal with it anymore.
Apparently Ron was pissed at him for something. His supposed best friend had just spent the whole afternoon glaring at him.
It could have something to do with the fact that Harry had yelled at the man's sister after a nearly fatal fall. But he did catch her first!
Yelling at Ginny after watching her fall was one of the hardest things he ever had to do. If she didn't hate him now, Harry would be really surprised. She must have already been pretty upset to have fallen in the first place. Ginny was an excellent flyer and that was definitely not normal for her.
Harry found himself pacing in front of the Room of Requirements. When the door opened he found it set up the way it usually was when he came her to think, which he had been doing a lot lately. Only this time when the door opened it wasn't to an empty room with one chair waiting for him, was to a room with two chair, one empty, the other holding none other then Remus Lupin sipping a cup of tea.
"Ah, Harry," the man said smiling. "Come in. Care for a cuppa? It's Earl Grey."
"My favorite," Harry said taking off his headphones. "Expecting me?"
"For half and hour now," Remus answered with a nod. "Albus floo'd me this afternoon. He said he was watching a rather interesting Quidditch practice. You were yelling at Ginny?"
"Meddling old goat," Harry muttered into his tea.
"Beg pardon?" Remus asked, even thought he knew perfectly well what Harry said.
"It doesn't matter, Remus," Harry sighed.
"Of course it does."
"No, it doesn't. I can't have a normal life, Remus! You know that. 'Neither can live while the other survives.' Does it sound like I can have something as simple as a girlfriend?"
"Harry, calm down," Remus said slowly. "Now, why don't you start at the beginning? You like Ginny?"
"Worse," Harry said in an utterly miserable tone. "I think I'm in love with her."
"Harry, that is not a bad thing."
"Yes it is. She fell off her broom today at practice. I could feel my heart braking and it was just a broom fall. Worst case, she'd have been in hospital for a day or two. But I couldn't even deal with that! I'd have broken my own neck to save her even a little pain, Remus. What would happen if a Death Eater got a hold of her?"
"You'd ask the Order for help saving her I would hope," Remus said taking another sip of his tea.
Harry lifted his glasses and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "It's not that simple, Remus."
"Just knowing you is a danger, but if she was dating you, you think it would cost Ginny her life?"
"Basically, yes."
"And if you're wrong?"
"Then at least she'll be around to tell me that."
"Can you deal with her hating you, Harry? Because you may have to make her hate you before she gives up."
"I know. Yes, I think I can. As long as she's happy, even if it's with out me, I could deal with that."
"Well, It's defiantly love," Remus sighed sitting back in his chair.
Harry sighed. "I thought as much."
"It's not fair to her, Harry, doing this. She should have some say in her own life."
"Life's not fair."
"Harry, you don't need to make yourself this miserable. Talk to her. I'm sure she'd understand that you're not ready for a relationship right now. You don't have to ruin your friendship as well."
"I don't know..."
"Lying to her and being an idiot won't help anything."
"You're probably right."
"I usually am."
Harry smiled weakly.
"And Harry, for what it's worth, I think you could have a relationship with her."
"Really?"
"Absolutely," Remus nodded. "She's smart enough to know how to take care of herself if things get sticky. Trust her, Harry, and trust yourself. Besides, you deserve to be happy."
"Thanks Remus, but...but what if I don't know how to be happy?"
"You do, Harry. And what you don't know, I'm sure Ginny could teach you."
Harry entered the Common Room to find empty everybody but the one person he needed to talk to. She was curled up in a wing-backed chair facing towards the porthole, half asleep and red hair falling all around her.
"Is everybody waiting to talk to me tonight?" he muttered.
"Harry?" Ginny's voice groggy voice asked.
"Yeah, it's me."
She sat up straight. Harry watched the look of determination that came into her eyes. She was so beautiful.
"Good," Ginny said more to herself them him. "Good, because I wanted to apologize."
"Whatever for?"
"For kissing you. I shouldn't have done. I just messed everything up and I'm sorry."
Harry knelt down on the floor in front of her and looked up into her gorgeous brown eyes. "Ginny, if you have to apologize to a bloke for kissing him, then there is something very, very wrong. You never have to be sorry for kissing me, you hear?"
She nodded. At least he didn't sound mad at her anymore.
"I'm the one that needs to apologize, Gin."
"Harry, no..."
"Yes, I do. I've been horrid to you lately. I was just confused, and scared. I so don't want to hurt you Gin, but I don't want to see you get hurt either."
"You were pushing me away for my own protection?" she asked smiling slightly.
"More or less," Harry answered with a shrug.
"That was pretty stupid of you," she said.
"I know it."
Harry stood and walked over to the fire. He stood with his back to her facing the burning wood as if searching for answers. Their friendship didn't seem to be in danger anymore, but Harry had to decide if he wanted to take that last leap.
Ginny sensing that something important was happening in his head went to stand with him. She didn't say anything at first, just stood next to him. She looked at the fire too, hoping it would tell her what he was thinking, which was silly of course. Maybe she didn't really want to know what he was thinking; maybe it was that he should never talk to her again. Desperately hoping that wasn't the case, Ginny reached over and took his hand. She couldn't look at him yet, but she knew that she would go with what ever he decided.
Harry looked over at her when she took his hand. Any resolve he had left about avoiding her faded. Cutting himself off from Ginny Weasley would be like cutting himself off from air.
"Gin?"
"Yes, Harry?"
"Would you want to go out with me?"
Ginny looked up at him. All of the moments they had shared over the past two months flashed through her mind. Him angry at Quidditch practice, or flying after the snitch. Him singing in a dark cupboard, or at a table not noticing. Him smiling wickedly making dirty jokes about massaging her shoulders. Him in the moonlight, glowing in sliver, and Harry as he stood before her now, glowing a brilliant orange in the firelight.
"Yes, Harry. I would."
Harry smiled slightly, leaning in, he kissed her softly on the lips. Ginny responded eagerly, running her tongue along his bottom lip. Their kiss deepened and the clock chimed midnight.
Ginny backed up giggling slightly. "Happy Halloween, Harry."
"Happy Halloween, Gin," and Harry leaned in again to kiss his girlfriend.
The end.
Harry needed something happy on happen on a Halloween.
Thanks to everyone who stuck by me from the beginning and everyone who reviewed.
But to anyone who knows me, this story was atypically fluffy. I generally like to torment my characters.
So there is another story.
It's stand alone, but I'm basing Harry and Ginny's relationship in this story. After the war Harry is depressed. It's been a year and he still isn't doing any better. When Dumbledore offers him a way out, Harry recklessly takes it and ends up in his parent's seventh year. But Ginny isn't about to let him leave her behind.
Here's a taste of Time Heals:
They say that time heals all wounds. They don't know what the hell they're talking about. My two best friends were killed. I watched them die. They died for me. They died so that I could kill a monster. They say that I saved the world, but it was because of them.
It's been almost a year, a year that I can't remember except for brief flashes of light in the darkness. She's held me up, gotten me through. I couldn't have survived this if she weren't with me, my Ginny.
Which is why it kills me to be with her. I can't stand myself anymore and I don't know how she can stand to be with me. She deserves someone better, something more. So I just have to make myself give her up. It's for her own good really. I'm just too weak to do it.
Chapter Five: To be or not to be
Ginny was in heaven. She had kissed Harry. She had actually done it. And he had kissed her back.
Life was perfect.
Harry wandered the halls in a slight daze. He wasn't quite sure were he was going until he ended up in the Room of Requirements. A cozy chair and bright orange fire greeted him. He just needed a place to think. Something was just off. He could feel it.
Maybe off wasn't what he meant, but something was nagging at him and he wanted to think through it.
It started with her hair. She had such gorgeous hair. It was that bright red that you just couldn't miss. Since she had grown it out, he had noticed it even more. Now it was just like liquid fire that gave her this aura.
Then there was her voice. Her voice was so many things. He would never want to hear her voice in anger, especially at himself. She could be as scary as her mum. But she was usually soft spoken, sweet and gentle. She could be on either end of the spectrum or anywhere in between.
And of course, there were her lips, her beautiful, soft lips. Her lips that smiled so often and brightened everything around her. Her lips that he had kissed.
There was more too. There is so much to Ginny that Harry could barely comprehend it all.
And he didn't want her to suffer because of him. And let's face it, his life pretty much sucks. If he kept seeing her, she would only suffer.
It so worried Harry that he reached a decision, he had to stop whatever was happening between him and Ginny before she got hurt.
It did have anything do with the fact that he was afraid of getting hurt himself. Really, it didn't.
It had been a week since the kiss. At first, Ginny thought it was just rotten luck that she never saw Harry. They both had different classes and a lot of work to keep them busy. It was perfectly natural that they would miss each other.
It was in Quidditch practice nearly a full week later that she noticed something was really wrong. He wasn't looking at her and when he did he it was with a slightly pinched expression.
He had even resorted to calling her 'Weasley.' The entire team had noticed that. Ron had actually winced when he heard.
"What the hell did you do to him?" her brother asked flying next to her.
"Nothing," Ginny said.
Ron just gave her a hard look.
"Okay, so I did something, but it's between me and him."
"Alright, then," Ron said. "But, maybe, you had better talk to him."
"Yeah, thanks for that, Mater of the Obvious!"
"Hey, I'm just trying to help," Ron defended himself and turned back to his place between the goals.
Practice was just miserable after that. Harry snapped at everyone and worked the team into the ground, literally in Ginny's case.
Ginny had been staring at Harry when she lost her balance and could barely hold into her broom. She managed to hedge her fall but the impact was still going to hurt quite a bit. With just two feet to the hard ground of the pitch, Ginny felt an arm grab her around the waist and pull. Her broom clattered loudly as hit the ground.
"Jesus, Gin! What the hell was that?" Harry practically shouted in her ear.
"I, I fell," she said biting back tears.
"I could see that! Gah, that's it, practice over!" Harry shouted. "Everyone hit the showers. Just get the hell out of here!"
"You alright, Ginny," Ron asked as he landed next to his sister.
Ginny nodded. "He caught me."
"Well at least he hasn't gone completely mental," Ron said. "He's been a right arse hole all week. It's as bad as it was last year."
"It is my fault then," Ginny whispered.
"Don't be daft, Ginny. Harry just gets into these moods. He'll come around."
"He won't," Ginny said. "I've ruined our friendship, Ron. I, I pushed things too far in that broom cupboard."
The older brother in Ron couldn't help asking, "How far?"
"I should never have kissed him."
"Did he kiss you back?"
"Well, yes, but..."
Ron held up his hands to stop her. "He kissed you back, Ginny. It's as much on him as it is on you. Knowing Harry, he's brooding about the people he loves being hurt or killed and doesn't want that to happen to you."
Ginny blushed at the use of the word 'love,' especially coming from her brother. "But I started it."
"Yes, and Harry's being a right prat now. That is not your fault."
"Do you still think I should talk to him, then?" Ginny asked this strangely insightful version of her brother.
"That's up to you, sis. Although if he keeps being an arse to you, he doesn't deserve you as much as I thought."
Ginny smiled and tiptoed to kiss her brother in the cheek. "Thanks, Ron."
"I'm just telling it like it is," Ron shrugged.
Harry turned up his headphones as loud as he could to block out the world around him. He just couldn't deal with it anymore.
Apparently Ron was pissed at him for something. His supposed best friend had just spent the whole afternoon glaring at him.
It could have something to do with the fact that Harry had yelled at the man's sister after a nearly fatal fall. But he did catch her first!
Yelling at Ginny after watching her fall was one of the hardest things he ever had to do. If she didn't hate him now, Harry would be really surprised. She must have already been pretty upset to have fallen in the first place. Ginny was an excellent flyer and that was definitely not normal for her.
Harry found himself pacing in front of the Room of Requirements. When the door opened he found it set up the way it usually was when he came her to think, which he had been doing a lot lately. Only this time when the door opened it wasn't to an empty room with one chair waiting for him, was to a room with two chair, one empty, the other holding none other then Remus Lupin sipping a cup of tea.
"Ah, Harry," the man said smiling. "Come in. Care for a cuppa? It's Earl Grey."
"My favorite," Harry said taking off his headphones. "Expecting me?"
"For half and hour now," Remus answered with a nod. "Albus floo'd me this afternoon. He said he was watching a rather interesting Quidditch practice. You were yelling at Ginny?"
"Meddling old goat," Harry muttered into his tea.
"Beg pardon?" Remus asked, even thought he knew perfectly well what Harry said.
"It doesn't matter, Remus," Harry sighed.
"Of course it does."
"No, it doesn't. I can't have a normal life, Remus! You know that. 'Neither can live while the other survives.' Does it sound like I can have something as simple as a girlfriend?"
"Harry, calm down," Remus said slowly. "Now, why don't you start at the beginning? You like Ginny?"
"Worse," Harry said in an utterly miserable tone. "I think I'm in love with her."
"Harry, that is not a bad thing."
"Yes it is. She fell off her broom today at practice. I could feel my heart braking and it was just a broom fall. Worst case, she'd have been in hospital for a day or two. But I couldn't even deal with that! I'd have broken my own neck to save her even a little pain, Remus. What would happen if a Death Eater got a hold of her?"
"You'd ask the Order for help saving her I would hope," Remus said taking another sip of his tea.
Harry lifted his glasses and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "It's not that simple, Remus."
"Just knowing you is a danger, but if she was dating you, you think it would cost Ginny her life?"
"Basically, yes."
"And if you're wrong?"
"Then at least she'll be around to tell me that."
"Can you deal with her hating you, Harry? Because you may have to make her hate you before she gives up."
"I know. Yes, I think I can. As long as she's happy, even if it's with out me, I could deal with that."
"Well, It's defiantly love," Remus sighed sitting back in his chair.
Harry sighed. "I thought as much."
"It's not fair to her, Harry, doing this. She should have some say in her own life."
"Life's not fair."
"Harry, you don't need to make yourself this miserable. Talk to her. I'm sure she'd understand that you're not ready for a relationship right now. You don't have to ruin your friendship as well."
"I don't know..."
"Lying to her and being an idiot won't help anything."
"You're probably right."
"I usually am."
Harry smiled weakly.
"And Harry, for what it's worth, I think you could have a relationship with her."
"Really?"
"Absolutely," Remus nodded. "She's smart enough to know how to take care of herself if things get sticky. Trust her, Harry, and trust yourself. Besides, you deserve to be happy."
"Thanks Remus, but...but what if I don't know how to be happy?"
"You do, Harry. And what you don't know, I'm sure Ginny could teach you."
Harry entered the Common Room to find empty everybody but the one person he needed to talk to. She was curled up in a wing-backed chair facing towards the porthole, half asleep and red hair falling all around her.
"Is everybody waiting to talk to me tonight?" he muttered.
"Harry?" Ginny's voice groggy voice asked.
"Yeah, it's me."
She sat up straight. Harry watched the look of determination that came into her eyes. She was so beautiful.
"Good," Ginny said more to herself them him. "Good, because I wanted to apologize."
"Whatever for?"
"For kissing you. I shouldn't have done. I just messed everything up and I'm sorry."
Harry knelt down on the floor in front of her and looked up into her gorgeous brown eyes. "Ginny, if you have to apologize to a bloke for kissing him, then there is something very, very wrong. You never have to be sorry for kissing me, you hear?"
She nodded. At least he didn't sound mad at her anymore.
"I'm the one that needs to apologize, Gin."
"Harry, no..."
"Yes, I do. I've been horrid to you lately. I was just confused, and scared. I so don't want to hurt you Gin, but I don't want to see you get hurt either."
"You were pushing me away for my own protection?" she asked smiling slightly.
"More or less," Harry answered with a shrug.
"That was pretty stupid of you," she said.
"I know it."
Harry stood and walked over to the fire. He stood with his back to her facing the burning wood as if searching for answers. Their friendship didn't seem to be in danger anymore, but Harry had to decide if he wanted to take that last leap.
Ginny sensing that something important was happening in his head went to stand with him. She didn't say anything at first, just stood next to him. She looked at the fire too, hoping it would tell her what he was thinking, which was silly of course. Maybe she didn't really want to know what he was thinking; maybe it was that he should never talk to her again. Desperately hoping that wasn't the case, Ginny reached over and took his hand. She couldn't look at him yet, but she knew that she would go with what ever he decided.
Harry looked over at her when she took his hand. Any resolve he had left about avoiding her faded. Cutting himself off from Ginny Weasley would be like cutting himself off from air.
"Gin?"
"Yes, Harry?"
"Would you want to go out with me?"
Ginny looked up at him. All of the moments they had shared over the past two months flashed through her mind. Him angry at Quidditch practice, or flying after the snitch. Him singing in a dark cupboard, or at a table not noticing. Him smiling wickedly making dirty jokes about massaging her shoulders. Him in the moonlight, glowing in sliver, and Harry as he stood before her now, glowing a brilliant orange in the firelight.
"Yes, Harry. I would."
Harry smiled slightly, leaning in, he kissed her softly on the lips. Ginny responded eagerly, running her tongue along his bottom lip. Their kiss deepened and the clock chimed midnight.
Ginny backed up giggling slightly. "Happy Halloween, Harry."
"Happy Halloween, Gin," and Harry leaned in again to kiss his girlfriend.
The end.
Harry needed something happy on happen on a Halloween.
Thanks to everyone who stuck by me from the beginning and everyone who reviewed.
But to anyone who knows me, this story was atypically fluffy. I generally like to torment my characters.
So there is another story.
It's stand alone, but I'm basing Harry and Ginny's relationship in this story. After the war Harry is depressed. It's been a year and he still isn't doing any better. When Dumbledore offers him a way out, Harry recklessly takes it and ends up in his parent's seventh year. But Ginny isn't about to let him leave her behind.
Here's a taste of Time Heals:
They say that time heals all wounds. They don't know what the hell they're talking about. My two best friends were killed. I watched them die. They died for me. They died so that I could kill a monster. They say that I saved the world, but it was because of them.
It's been almost a year, a year that I can't remember except for brief flashes of light in the darkness. She's held me up, gotten me through. I couldn't have survived this if she weren't with me, my Ginny.
Which is why it kills me to be with her. I can't stand myself anymore and I don't know how she can stand to be with me. She deserves someone better, something more. So I just have to make myself give her up. It's for her own good really. I'm just too weak to do it.