Disclaimer: All characters from 'Angel the Series' don't belong to me, they belong to whoever created/wrote/owns them. And yes, I am too lazy to look up the names of the people who own them, but I can guarantee it's not me. So, don't sue me please!!! The story idea is mine though, so let's not use it without my permission, m'kay?

Author's Notes: Hey everyone! This is just a little Angel story that up and occurred to me overnight (literally), I wonder why so many of them occur at night? Am I that vampire brainsoaked? Yes, I know that's not a word. So, anyway, I decided to write it!

Spoilers: "A Hole In The World," if you haven't seen it, this story won't make much sense. And if you don't wanna be spoiled, you really shouldn't read this.

Story Notes: Omigosh, this is a cannon piece. By me. That's right, the world just ended, the sky fell, hell froze, and all Armageddon broke out on earth. Heh, maybe not. Anyways, this is short, bittersweet, and hopefully finished. ;) I never can quite tell if I'll finish something or not. There's no pairings. Angel POV. Or at least that's what I intended, somehow despite the lack of British curse words, it might fit for Spike also. Depressing, I'm sure, because I was depressed when I wrote it. Damn the WB (Wretched Bastards) for taking Angel off! Damn them! No wonder all the new eps are depressing!

Summary: Thoughts during "A Hole In The World" over what it means, what else is broken, and what is and isn't know.

Feedback: Yes! Feed the author, please! Critique/Comments/Enjoyment is greatly appreciated, honestly, just drop me a line! Goddess_Delenn@yahoo.com

Distribution: My site, BFW. Everyone else has to ask, all you have to do is click the above link and tell me you want it, I guarantee I'll say yes, you just have to ask first!

Songs For This Fiction: None yet.

Warnings: Sex/Language/Violence: nope!

Pairing: None

Rating: PG-13 cause it's angsty.

Date Started/Finished: February 29th, 2004





Holes
By ~Delenn~




"There's a hole in the world… Feels like we should'a known…"

He wants to say that there are holes in everything, but he doesn't. Doesn't say anything because he's afraid that if he speaks then nothing will come out.

Or maybe he'll just start yelling and never stop. He doesn't know.

Stares into the pit through the world because he doesn't know how he'll ever face anyone else.

Doesn't have all the answers, not this time, doesn't have anything.

His companion doesn't have the answers or the words either. He can tell by the way the normally animated blonde is now silent.

He wonders what would happen if he crossed the gap of the bridge and went over. If they shared his failure, shared their pain, and the loss.

It won't happen. He knows that before he thinks it.

Because they're too similar and still too different. They feel the same pain but express it so very differently.

There's a hole through their relationship, however complicated and unfriendly, and it can't be bridged as easily as this hole through the world has been.

Hole through the world, and they didn't know.

Their friend is dying and they do know.

He thinks that it doesn't matter, none of it, because they can't do a damn thing about either problem.

He thinks that maybe there's a hole through him. That place where he's supposed to be able to cope, to keep going on and on, it's missing right now.

Another hole.

Sobbing, he can hear it but won't turn. Doesn't want to see the holes wearing through perfect facades.

Doesn't want to know that everything is broken now, even though he does know and wants to know why this had to happen.

They should leave. Leave the silence, leave the failure; leave the pain.

They stay.

Two opposite sides, backs turned, gripping the rails so hard that they should be breaking.

Suddenly he wonders if they mean to jump. He can't say he planned to, but he can't say he wouldn't.

Find out what's on the other side of the world, who really is looking back down at them.

Find out if it would kill them.

Maybe it would just leave some more holes. Not like he doesn't have enough already.