A.N.: Okay, this chapter is my version of the 11-15-03 episode (sorry it took so long to get out; I've been busy). For those of you who actually saw that episode, you'll understand why this will probably be the last posting for this fic. I can't write another one unless Tyr somehow comes back.
Also, I want to apologize if I missed any of the dialogue between Tyr and Beka. I'd taped the episode for the sake of writing this thing, but I accidentally erased the first few minutes of this week's episode and all of last week's, and I can't remember exactly what was said or done. I'm pretty sure I didn't miss anything big, but I didn't want anyone to be confused.
As always, thanks for reading! Responses to the last chapter's reviews will be at the bottom of the chapter.
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EPISODE TWO: PART ONE
She'd never intended to stay. He should have known that, should have known better than to think she would. Had he really believed she would abandon her friends so easily? True, she was more than a little in love with Tyr, but he should have realized that she wasn't so disloyal as to just turn her back on the people she'd come to see as her family. They'd stood by her, supported her when she wasn't even willing to support herself. They'd cared for her, put up with her when she was at her worst, and she wasn't about to bail on them when they needed her most. Even for Tyr, she couldn't do that. Especially for Tyr, maybe. She cared for the arrogant Nietzshean, but he obviously didn't know her as well as she'd always thought, as well as he'd thought. If he had, he wouldn't have asked her to walk away from them. He wouldn't have asked her to be a part of this.
Not that she wasn't tempted, sometimes. She wouldn't deny that a part of her wanted very much to stay behind, to stick with Tyr and see what would come of their time together. She wasn't oblivious to the attraction he felt for her, and she certainly wasn't going to pretend that the life Tyr had built for himself wasn't at least a little but appealing. He had everything she'd always wanted-wealth, power, masses of adoring lackeys. He had everything, and he'd offered to make a place for her in this world.in his world.
Problem was, somewhere along the journey she'd stopped wanting that world. She'd changed, in the years she'd spent with Dylan and the others. Dylan had shown her that wealth and power weren't as important as she'd always thought, and she was no longer willing to compromise herself to get them. She knew, now, that the universe existed for better things, that she existed for better things, and she wouldn't give that up for a man who'd betrayed her more than once. No matter what she felt for Tyr, she wasn't willing to go back to the self she'd been, and that was just what he was asking of her. The new Beka could have no place in his world, and she just wished he'd known her well enough to realize it.
She was going to hurt him, she knew. Betrayal was a way of life for Tyr Anasazi, but she doubted that he really expected it from her. She'd been one of his greatest advocates until now, and he probably thought she would continue to stand by him. She'd promised him that she would, had promised him that she would see this to the end. She'd promised to give him everything that she was, and he hadn't yet realized that she'd been lying through her teeth. She had always been a good actress, and he hadn't been able to see through her, this time.
Maybe it was for the best. Tyr wasn't the same man he'd been on the Andromeda, and she'd been kidding herself in thinking she might be happy with him. He had changed as much as she had, after all, but he hadn't chosen the same path, and she didn't think that change was necessarily for the better. For one thing, the old Tyr would never have killed that woman. Sure, Tyr had always been ruthless, and he didn't exactly have a problem with killing, but she would never have thought he could be so cold as to shoot at a group of people who had once been so great a part of his life. Tyr might not be too fond of Dylan, but Beka had never even dreamed that the Nietzshean would actively try to hurt any of them. What was going on in this man's head?
Tyr didn't seem quite.sane, anymore. Something in his eyes bespoke a fanaticism that made her more uneasy than she'd been even in the early days of their acquaintance, and she was starting to see how erratic and unstable he'd become. What was he planning? She knew, of course, that he was using her to get to Dylan, but she could no longer predict just how far he would be willing to go, could no longer think he wouldn't hurt those she loved. He'd already killed to get to where he was, so could she really expect him to just let Dylan and the others leave once he'd taken what he wanted from them? This new Tyr obviously considered their exalted captain an enemy, and he would never be content to let Dylan walk away.
Beka sighed, and she began walking slowly back to the garden Tyr had turned into his own private residence. As promised, her former crewmate had given her free reign of his territory, and she'd spent the last few hours wandering around, poking her nose into as many nooks and crannies as she could find. None of Tyr's men or women tried to stop her, though they'd all continued to watch her movements with confusion and suspicion. They were respectful enough on the surface, of course, but she knew they questioned her presence here. Their leader was the ruler of the Nietzsheans, Drago Musseveni reincarnated, and he shouldn't have been tolerating a human at all, yet here she was. Tyr had given her power over his people, had all but declared her his equal. She'd turned their world upside down, and Beka almost felt sorry for them. Almost.
Beka groaned, not really all that interested in what was around her, deciding that there just wasn't anything more to see. She'd watched Tyr's men drilling, had watched his people carrying out what few orders he'd given them in her presence. She'd checked his supplies, his ships. She'd even watched his women as they prepared themselves to pamper him.
God, she was bored.
She bit her lip, turning and walking back the way she'd come. She knew Tyr was waiting for her in his pavilion, and she should probably take this chance to talk to him before Dylan or one of the others arrived. They'd be here soon, she knew. Tyr hadn't tried to hide that fact, probably because he was using this as another test for her. He wanted to see if she really could turn away from Dylan and everything he represented just so she could stay with Tyr. He wanted to see how she would tell whoever it was coming that she wasn't going to leave, because that would be the real test for her, and he knew it.
Tyr was waiting patiently for her, perched at a little table outside his tent. He held a glass of some blue liquid in his hand, taking occasional sips from it. The stuff smelled a little too sweet, and Beka fought the urge to roll her eyes as she noticed the two or three young and practically naked Nietzshean women gently waving huge synthetic feathers at him. Another young woman was perched in his lap, popping grapes in his mouth and gazing at him with an expression so adoring that Beka wanted to cringe. Oh, brother.
She slid into a chair across from Tyr, who sent the woman in his lap away with an arrogant wave of his hand as the challenge rose in her gaze. The feather girls also took a step or two back, moving just out of earshot and not looking very happy that she'd just supplanted them. She could feel their eyes on the back of her head, still appraising her and wondering why the hell she was there. Beka grimaced inside, having wondered the same thing every minute since she'd come here.
Tyr turned back to her, then, a smug expression on his face. Beka just stared at him, knowing perfectly well that Tyr was putting on a show for her. He was trying to impress her, trying to prove that he didn't need her when he'd already made it obvious that he did. At the same time, she could see that he was waiting to learn of her decision. She'd already promised to stay with him, but she'd never said anything about turning on Dylan, and he'd let her wander around by herself as she thought about all he was asking of her and decided whether or not she could still keep to her word.
All right, she mused. Time to see if my acting is as good as I think it is.
She didn't bother with any greetings or small talk, knowing that he was more interested in her words and her promise than anything else. "Tyr," she said, cutting right to the heart of the matter even if her words sounded more like an observation than a promise of faithfulness, "if you take the Route of Ages, the Tri-Galaxies and everyone in them will give you their loyalty when the Magog arrive."
His eyes sharpened, and she knew he'd gotten the point of what she was saying. Still, he had to ask. "Including yourself?" He put his drink down, no longer even pretending that he was more interested in it than in her. His expression was carefully blank, his body motionless, and she knew he was still waiting for the other foot to drop.
She nodded slowly, smiling a little, and he leaned back in his chair. "Well, then," he said, voice still heavy with sarcasm and mockery, "I must get the star map."
She cut in before he could say anything else, before the silence became too much for her and she did something to betray her true mission. "But you need my help," she said, intentionally making her voice sharp. This was her mercenary's voice, her I'm-not-going-to-be-stupid-and-pass-up-an-opportunity-like-this voice. She knew he'd recognized it, would respond accordingly. "Which means we go fifty-fifty," she told him, trying to sound like she was more interested in cutting a deal than in betraying him.
One of his eyebrows shot up at her audacity. "You've explored all your options?" Still questioning, still doubting. So, Beka thought, she hadn't won him over just yet. Tyr was still challenging her, making her work for this one. Damn, was she going to miss him.
Her smile grew, though it was still fainter than usual. "I'm here with you, aren't I?" she retorted softly, a little sorrow creeping into her voice in spite of herself. Here, with you, when I should be at Dylan's side.
He made a non-committal sound, deep in his throat, and his eyes were still hard and empty. He wasn't given a chance to say anything more, though, because a slightly high-pitched voice cut into the conversation and effectively killed any chance she might have had to convince him.
"Tyr Ana-sleazy," Harper quipped from a few feet away, and Beka fought the urge to stand up and strangle her friend. If there'd been a prize for bad timing, she thought, Harper would definitely win it. "Living large in the lap-dance of luxury, huh?"
Tyr's face tensed, though he hadn't looked up to see who was approaching. "I'd recognize that whine anywhere," he muttered, and Beka took this opportunity to stand up and get away from the Nietzshean's never-ending scrutiny. "Harper," she greeted, her voice cheery enough to set off warning bells in the mind of anyone but the genius himself. She moved towards the younger man, whose eyes were still uncertainly darting back and forth between Beka and Tyr. Beka smiled a warning at him, but Harper continued to rattle on, not seeming to care that he was flanked by two burly Nietzsheans with ugly-looking weapons and trigger-happy fingers or that he was about to be left as collateral with the very man he was so unthinkingly insulting.
Harper was looking at her as she approached, a question on his face. "Still here, boss?" he asked, clear bewilderment now heavy in his voice. "Sheesh. I would've poisoned him and broken the atmosphere by now." Was he trying to get himself killed? The men at his side would have been perfectly happy to blow his brains then and there, and he wasn't even trying to be quiet.
"Well, you'll have plenty of time to try your luck while I meet with Dylan," she told him, the warning still tightening her features. Harper, of course, didn't see it, but then she'd realized, by now, that he wouldn't. Harper might have been a genius, but that didn't necessarily make him smart.
"You're not actually thinking of coming back here to stay, are you, boss?" Harper had finally lowered his voice, but Beka knew perfectly well that both Tyr and his stern-faced guards had heard. She turned to glance back at Tyr, wanting to see how he'd reacted to that. Tyr, of course, remained as stony as ever, and even she couldn't decide what he was thinking. He hadn't ordered Harper's execution yet, she thought nervously, so maybe he wasn't going to do anything.
She turned her mind back to Harper's question. Was she planning to stay with Tyr? Not a chance in hell of that, she thought. "We'll see what the future holds." She turned and walked away without another word, not wanting to see Harper's reaction, either. She could only hope that her best friend would understand, or that he'd at least forgive her when-if-she came crawling back.
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Dylan didn't look happy with her, when she finally met up with him. His face was completely blank and expressionless, but there had been something accusatory in his eyes that she didn't like, and she automatically became defensive and launched into a tirade against whatever it was he was thinking.
"My life," she snapped at him without turning to see his face, her words an attempt at the explanation he hadn't asked for, "everything I've been part of, my destiny for so long.I'm risking all that."
She spun finally, meeting his eyes with an expression a little too tense. He just looked at her in return, though, and while his face was as blank as Tyr's had been, she couldn't tell what he was thinking. "The question is, why?" he asked, his voice a little too calm and easy.
She cocked her head at him. Wasn't it clear why she was doing this? Had he really questioned her motives, when she'd run off to Tyr? She'd thought he'd trusted her, by now, not to risk everything they'd worked together to build. She'd thought he trusted her to know what she was doing and not to take stupid chances if she didn't absolutely have to. "Because it's the obvious choice," she said, genuinely startled that he hadn't understood. "I need to see this play out." That part, at least, was the truth. She didn't have to lie to Dylan, not about anything, not even about needing some closure between herself and Tyr when everyone else would have told her to just write the Nietzshean off.
"He's using you."
No kidding, Sherlock. "He believes I can help him get the star map," she retorted, knowing he wouldn't be surprised at how low Tyr had stooped, knowing, too, that Dylan would see the potential in that, just as she had.
"You can.and that's my risk," he said, interrupting her before she could say anything else to convince him. "But I need to know it's significance, and you can help with that."
She nodded, knowing it was as much permission as she would ever get. Dylan wasn't a stupid man, and while he obviously didn't approve of her choices, he was going to let her continue. Still, he wasn't finished. He pushed away from the wall he'd been leaning against, his voice taking on a little more urgency. "All right," he conceded reluctantly, "if he wants to follow me to the portal, then I will lead him.let him make his move there, and learn what he knows."
She knew what he was asking. "He'll trust me," she assured him softly, knowing he wouldn't make her tell him why she believed that but believing she should for her own sake. "I know that. Tyr and I had an understanding once." She sighed, regret filling her eyes and her words. "Perhaps it should have stayed that way."
His eyes were as intense as Tyr's had been, maybe even a little more, and she suddenly wished she was back on the surface of the Collectors' planet, away from Dylan and the trust he was putting in her, away from the suddenly cold look he was giving her. "Well, if this is about trying to get that back," he said, his voice a little harsh, "then I'm sorry."
I won't let you, he was telling her, and she shook her head, a little hurt that he would think she was like that. "Dylan," she protested quickly, "you've got to trust me."
"Yes," he replied coldly, "but, then again, what are my options?" She couldn't find the words to answer that one, and the silence stretched uncomfortably between them. Then he relented, his face gentling with genuine regret that he'd just hurt her. "Here," he offered, handing her a data pad. "These are the coordinates for our.staging area." He hesitated, but she could hear the tiny bit of excitement that had crept into his voice in spite of himself, an excitement that, had circumstances been different, she might have shared. "From there we head to the Route of Ages."
"Okay," she responded quietly, not knowing what else she could say. I'm sorry? I wish things had been different? I hadn't wanted to put you in this kind of position?
He pushed past her, moving over the threshold of the nearest exit. She still hadn't said anything, only stared at him with the apology she hadn't voiced as clear as possible on her face. He gazed back at her for a long, tense moment. "Good luck," he told her softly.
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Tyr hadn't moved far, when she came back to him, though she could see that he'd been speaking with someone on a communication screen set near his pavilion. He must have sensed her coming, though, because he abruptly flicked off the machine and returned to the table they'd used earlier. His women immediately surrounded him, the ever-present feather girls moving back into position. Beka tried not to roll her eyes as one of the women reluctantly approached her, offering her a plate of assorted cheeses and fruits. Beka nibbled on a piece of cheese just to give herself something to do, watching silently as Tyr reached out and popped a bit of flat bread into the mouth of the nearest woman, then took a bite of it for himself. He looked up as Beka walked closer, a disgruntled expression pasted on her face.
Tyr still looked smug. He spoke through his mouthful of food, waving a hand almost negligently towards the woman practically sitting in his lap. "My life is comfortable now," he said, probably not even realizing that he was repeating something he'd told her earlier. Then his face changed, becoming a little more serious, a little less certain, and he glanced away from the Nietzshean woman, maybe realizing that his attempts to impress Beka weren't working. "And I suspect that may be the only reason you want to be here."
She didn't miss a beat, though her heart was actually aching for him. He sounded so much like a little boy trying to be brave rather than vulnerable.. "Gotta tell you," she replied easily, pretending she hadn't noticed the change in his voice for his own sake, "it doesn't hurt. As a matter of fact, putting my feet up is how I intend to spend my future." She paused. "If you don't kick me out."
He'd turned back to the woman, his face now so indifferent than she might have wondered if she'd imagined that single moment of vulnerability. "Do I have a reason to?" He wasn't even looking at her, though she knew he was listening to everything she said.
His games were finally beginning to get to her, to make her angry when she was trying so hard to stay calm. "Should I stay with you," she retorted, not willing to let him get away with that, her hands drifting to her hips and irritation creeping into her voice, "or should I take the Maru back to the Andromeda right now?" She hadn't even had to fake the jealousy in her voice, though she knew exactly how this was going to end.
That caught his attention. "What would you like to do?" he asked, and she thought he sounded genuinely interested. A wave of surprise nearly overcame her as she realized that what he was now asking had absolutely nothing to do with the way he was using her. Did he honestly want to know what she wanted? He leaned over, whispering something into the woman's ear, and she left them.
"I would like to make up my mind, Tyr. It's very difficult if I don't know what you're thinking."
"Trusting me is something you'll have to come to on your own, Beka," he told her, unwilling as ever to concede but sounding a little angry at last. Was she finally getting to him?
"You could give me a sign," she retorted, moving closer to him. "Even a remote one. Are you going to let me be part of this, or not?"
His eyes were so heavy. "This," he snapped back, "is me. Are you asking to be a part of me?"
She looked away, her gaze losing focus and finally unable to keep the emotion from her face as a sudden understanding struck her like a load of bricks. Why hadn't she realized, before, that this was exactly what she was asking, that this was what he'd been offering all along? Everything he'd done since she'd arrived had been his way of showing her what he was willing to share with her. He wasn't being childish, after all. She looked back at him. "Yeah," she said, surprise still in her voice. "I guess I am."
"Because.?" he prompted. "I'm the only friend you have left?"
He was teasing her, trying to lighten the mood, but she wasn't having any of it. "You asked me here," she snapped, disgusted. "I'm a person, Tyr, with feelings and frailties, you know? You want to run the universe or whatever it is you think you were born to do, memorize this: it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. That's something you could have learned from Dylan."
She would normally have felt silly, spouting off a saying as trite as that, but his eyes hardened. "Don't compare us," he ground out, anger flashing over his face. She didn't care, though she wondered, a little, why he now seemed to hate Dylan so much. Did it have anything to do with her?
"It's hard not to," she snapped, fed up by the emotional rollercoaster she was always on when he was around.
He just looked back at her, a confession in his eyes. "There was a time, Beka." he began softly, then stopped. "But a great deal of time has passed."
"What do I have to do to get you to trust me?" she wondered aloud, her confusion clear in her face when he just stopped speaking. Once again, he said nothing, but she saw the truth in his eyes. It shook her to the core, but she'd been preparing for this moment from the beginning, and she was able to accept the knowledge without backing down from it. She steeled herself, suddenly pushing herself to her feet and moving towards the tent. "You can go," she said to the nearest woman, a world of meaning in her words.
The woman didn't respond to move away, but Beka was past the point of caring. She stepped into Tyr's tent, knowing he was watching her, knowing what she was doing to herself. She removed her jacket, then reached wordlessly back to untie the bands at her neck. Her clothing all but melted from her body, and she tried not to show how tense she was, because she didn't want him to suspect why she was really doing this. She waited for Tyr to follow her, hoping he would so she could at least know she hadn't humiliated herself for nothing. If Dylan could see her now, she thought, moving further into the tent and taking this one chance to look around.
Oh, God. His bed cover was a leopard print. How unbelievably tacky.
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TO THE READERS:
TriGemini: Thanks for the compliment! Obviously, I agree with you. Beka and Tyr really are great. Too bad I can't let them stay together in this one, right?
MaryRose: Yeah, I didn't like the Tyr that episode depicted either. I tried to downplay a little of that in this fic, but there was only so much I could do. Oh, well. And, hey, I may be a big Tyr/Beka fan, but that doesn't mean I don't love other pairings, too. Frankly, I'm good with any pairing, at least as long as I know the characters. Know any good ones I should check out?
WashoopiCandi: Great name, by the way. I love it. Sorry it took me so long to get this part out. I'll try to work on the second half of this episode sooner than the last. Keep reading!
Iara: Thanks for reading!
Natta: No, Beka would never abandon her friends. Keep reading, and you'll find that I agree wholeheartedly with your opinion.
Sassy_chan: As always, it's a pleasure to hear from you. I always look forward to your reviews. You made some wonderful points, as always, and I agree with each and every one of them.
Gotmilk: Also a great name. Very funny. Thanks for answering the question about Beka's best friend. As you can see, I used your opinion, even if it was only in passing. Thanks.
New York Hope: I wish I had that finale taped. After watching the last couple, I'm so frustrated I could scream. What were they thinking, to kill him off like that? He's the entire reason I watch the show! I plan to keep writing Tyka fics in spite of that, though, and I'm definitely not going to make Tyr into a bad guy in them! Thanks for reading! And, hey, since you obviously know a lot about this show, any pointers for me? I could always use tips!